My friend had a couple drinks and a steak and some potatoes and some tomato salad, and this is what happened:
No one can resist the Lily. And since he is asleep, sound and secure, it is time to do one of my favorite things- RELEASE THE KRAKEN:
Time to break out the red laser.
Baud
I missed you, Cole. You were gone for so long since your friend came to visit.
dewzke
I would kick your ass for the pic if it was me but he does look like he needs the sleep.
dewzke
Now I miss my dog…damn you Cole!
Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony
Awesome!
Corner Stone
YOU HAVE A TWIN BROTHER?!
WTF, are you really Rob and Doug Ford?
Redshirt
Wow! I think these are two of the highest quality Cole photos ever!
Odie Hugh Manatee
“Time to break out the red laser.”
Bottle rockets work better. :)
khead
Less than 10 posts in and the snark is strong with this one.
Corner Stone
Why are your underwear on the arm of the couch across from him?
JGabriel
John Cole:
And aim it at Aaron’s face or stomach?
Corner Stone
Where does one buy hobbit socks like that, anyway?
dewzke
@Redshirt: focus finally.
It just takes food and drinks.
Hal
Holy shit, you’re friends with Honey Boo Boo’s Mom??? Kidding. This is why I avoid camera’s like the plague. I always look like a giant globe with a little head on top.
dewzke
@Corner Stone: FTW…I am laughing way too much over this comment.
Corner Stone
I could’ve sworn you described this refugee from the ’80’s as a “good friend”.
And yet, here is a picture of him in his most vulnerable.
dewzke
Cole, vid the red laser and let us see Tunch move!
ranchandsyrup
Cole hates a pedant but he chose to misspell the ALL CAPS KRAKEN so I’m gonna go ahead and point it out.
? Martin
@dewzke:
You can’t actually see Tunch move as it is the earth that shifts beneath the more massive body.
Spaghetti Lee
You had Rob Ryan over for dinner?
Corner Stone
I purposely missed testimony from the nutbags of the tea party the IRS forcibly forced themselves on.
But just saw a few blurbs on L O’D on MSNBC and those fucking people are crazy.
schrodinger's cat
Why is everything in the Cole house beige? You need some color.
Corner Stone
@Spaghetti Lee: I figure he’s a cast off roadie for The Dead or Little Feat or some godforsakencastoffgarbagetimemusicianmotherfuckersfromthewasteland.
Yatsuno
I shall, indeed, alert proper authoritahs to teh floofiness.
Corner Stone
This center fielder for Baltimore is just having the night of his defensive life.
Fucker.
Gin & Tonic
I miss the alt text that pictures used to have.
Narcissus
Well are you gonna just stand there takin’ pictures or what
He ain’t gonna teabag himself
kc
Lily, you tramp!
Roger Moore
@dewzke:
FTFY.
PsiFighter37
Not very nice of you to roofie your visitors, Cole. At the least, you could put a tuna steak on him and see which of your pets will eat it off of him.
@Narcissus: Ha!
PF37 +2
dewzke
@kc:
I’m gonna sit back and watch all the win that this thread deserves.
Roger Moore
@Yatsuno:
Shorter Yatzi: Fire up the cat signal.
kc
@JGabriel:
Bwahahaha! Poor Aaron ..
Corner Stone
Personally, if I was that little mofo on the couch I would brain Cole when I woke up and found out what he had done to me.
Of course, Cole has like 100 pounds on the guy but at this point it’s about respect.
Comrade Jake
Holy shit the Sox beat the Rangers 17-5. That’s almost a football score.
Comrade Jake
Cole your friend looks like a snore machine. Good luck to ya.
NotMax
Damn.
Now I’m jonesing for a steak.
\A trio of tidbits:
Also, eye of the beholder and all that:
Help wanted: No ugly applicants, please
And, if you’re scamming disabilities, stay off national TV.
RedKitten
Do you normally put Tunch’s dish in the middle of the living room like that? Cause that is just kind of weird, frankly.
kindness
Lily is going to eat that cat food if you leave it there. She looks asleep but the Lily knows.
burnspbesq
Oh noes! A terrible tragedy in New Jersey!
http://www.nj.com/middlesex/index.ssf/2013/06/tanker_truck_full_of_scotch_wh.html#incart_river#incart_hbx#incart_best-of
dewzke
This is a movie in the making. Awesome! Funny thing is that his friend doesn’t know it…yet.
Comrade Jake
@dewzke: Weekend at Balloon-Juice?
kc
@dewzke:
It’s kind of tame so far . . . somebody, throw something!
Yatsuno
@RedKitten: Tunch eats where Tunch wants. He iz demanding kitteh,
Roger Moore
@burnspbesq:
It would be a worse tragedy if the kind of Scotch whisky that gets shipped around in tanker trucks were worth drinking.
mai naem
The Tunchmeister looks positively svelte in this picture. Lighting? Angle of pic? Particular style of grooming?
NotMax
Mayhaps Mr. Cole was just channeling his inner Warhol.
Crusty Dem
Tell Aaron I really liked him in “Balls of Fury”…
dewzke
@Comrade Jake:
I wish it was the weekend because these comments might roll through the night. To hell with TV, I am laughing so much with this. BTW, Tunch will not move in a video, I’ll put money on it.
The Dangerman
@dewzke:
Kinda like Showgirls, if you replace Lap Dances with Lap Naps
gelfling545
@Corner Stone: In my house the answer to that question would be the dog. She likes to visit the laundry hampers in secret & display underwear in prominent places. You answer the front door for UPS or somebody. You look down & there’s somebody’s undergarment across the threshold or on the stair. She never leaves it anywhere inconspicuous. You mutter “That damn dog” and the UPS guy goes away thinking that your social life is unaccountably a lot more interesting than it really is.
Yatsuno
@NotMax: I read that as inner warthog. I blame being up for 15 hours.
Gin & Tonic
@gelfling545: UPS guy at the door, underwear on the floor, sounds like the start of a – ahem – film. Or so I’ve heard.
NotMax
@Yatsuno
Your bleariness has conjured up a great garage band name.
Inner Warthog
Corner Stone
@gelfling545: Dude. Fuck this. It’s time for West Wing on Netflix*.
*Channeling my inner Cole without actually molesting a houseguest
Gin & Tonic
@NotMax: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDgokYi-1lI
MikeJ
@Roger Moore:
I’m guessing this was “scotch”, not scotch.
Violet
Lily sweetness! What a love. Maybe she’s mixing up you and Aaron. You guys look something alike, it seems.
What is that, a garden gnome peeking over the arm of the sofa just above Aaron’s head?
dewzke
I will say this…Lily is awesome.
sacrablue
@mai naem: I think Cole’s new workout routine is working for Tunch.
TheOtherWA
I’m sure Lily is a good judge of character, as most dogs are, and will happily lay in any friendly lap.
A garden gnome in the living room? Dude. No.
MikeJ
@TheOtherWA:
John Cole is actually a sim. He makes gnomes to raise his mechanical skill.
Redshirt
Break out the Sharpies!
Shave an eyebrow!
Hand in a bowl of water!
This sleepover’s just getting started!
kc
Leave the country already, Jon Stewart …
TheOtherWA
@MikeJ: Of course! Now it makes sense. *snort*
Anya
@kc: What did he do now?
Violet
With that headline and the accompanying picture, it sounded Cole was going to be taking photos of his friend in all sorts of ridiculous situations. You know, stupid frat pranks, like underwear on the head, draped over the school mascot. That kind of thing. I guess Lily and the garden gnome are as far as it’s going to go. At least that we’ll see.
Spaghetti Lee
@burnspbesq:
Congressman John Boehner (R-OH) was found at the scene, licking the ground and gulping the evaporation.
dance around in your bones
Your friend signed a release form before he came to visit you, right? “I, Aaron, realize that if I pass out from Cole’s heavy hand with the booze and food that I might end up with my photo plastered all over the Internet, and I’m cool with that”.
Also, I swear I used to have a couch EXACTLY like that back in the 80’s. Not so attractive, but comfy as hell.
Suffern ACE
@MikeJ: yeah. It’s jersey where they just busted a bunch of bars for serving rubbing alcohol and food coloring as scotch. For all we know, this scotch was low octane gasoline. It’s not like people from jersey know what scotch looks like.
Spaghetti Lee
@Violet:
I suppose, as John eases gently and peacefully into his dotage, he simply won’t have the energy for such nonsense anymore.
(/trolling the bloghost.)
lojasmo
A good reason to avoid potatoes.
PurpleGirl
@Gin & Tonic: There is still alt text (titles) for the pictures but it’s in a location code at the bottom left of the screen. Yeah, not as much fun as when it showed up by the picture.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
The blog absence lasted longer than I expected. Have a nice visit.
MikeJ
I must now go participate in a freedom Washington and Colorado share. I got Hardcore UFOs, the rarities box set by GbV, from the library today.
PurpleGirl
@RedKitten: Hi Redkitten. How are you? How are the kittens?
Suffern ACE
@NotMax: back when I worked in employee benefits for (name removed), we had an employee who filed a claim for blindness who we investigated after it was brought to our attention that he had been ticked for speeding. He claimed he was suicidal and was driving to end it all.
danielx
@burnspbesq:
And being moved by a company out of Newark called B Line Trucking. There’s so much comedic material here that one hardly knows where to start.
dewzke
@lojasmo: This made me snort …i can not place a reason why.
Anya
Apparently, some asshole from GetEqual heckled FLOTUS. Obviously, FLOTUS was not amused. WTF did this lady expect FLOTUS to do about this issue? Why isn’t she heckling GOPers who are against everything she cares about?
I am seriously sick and tired of asshole activist who are constantly yelling at the president. Seriously fuck off or do some advocacy where it matters. Go pick on Boehner and McConnell, you fucking asshole. Did anyone ever yell at Laura Bush when her husband broke the world or when his campaign was using the LGBT community to attract the bigot vote. DIAF. Don’t fucking drag the first lady to this. She’s not an elected official.
dewzke
Cole just might be pissed off at us and also piss drunk when he reads our comments. Cool. Aaron might not know what to think.
Keith
Teabag or gorilla mask?
Yatsuno
@Keith: Why choose?
andynotadam
Dang, I have the same plates that Tunch is chowing down on! No wonder…
trollhattan
@mai naem:
So-called “food dish” actually a snow saucer.
aangus
Arr! Michigan to formally recognize ‘International Talk Like a Pirate Day’
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/06/04/arr-michigan-to-formally-recognize-international-talk-like-a-pirate-day/
trollhattan
@aangus:
Avast, there be Republicans what could use a good keelhaulin’ there. Arrrr!
Odie Hugh Manatee
Erick, Son of Erick, has a post up about how he thinks that Republicans may not need to worry about “hispanic” support because of Guv.
Rick ScottLex Luthor. Erick sez that while Guv. Luthor’s support among Hispanics is currently at 33%, he was elected with 50% of Hispanics in Florida while having campaigned against immigration reforms. This obviously means that all Hispanics are the same across the nation and the Republicans have nothing to worry about.Please proceed, Erick.
trollhattan
@Odie Hugh Manatee:
Ya see, no matter if you hail from Havana, Oaxaca, Tegucigalpa or Temuco, y’all going to vote the same.
Suffern ACE
@aangus: Oh phooey. Once it becomes officially sanctions, becomes international talk like a privateer day. Not nearly as fun.
Keith
@Odie Hugh Manatee: gee, I wonder why Florida Hispanics wouldn’t care about immigration reform
YellowJournalism
@MikeJ: Seriously loving you right now for that reference. (Not WooHoo love. More like give you a gift box from out of nowhere love.)
Diana
@Odie Hugh Manatee: But not in terms of getting the fat white KRAKEN to move around…
Odie Hugh Manatee
@trollhattan:
But Florida Hispanics are truly representative of Hispanics from all around the world. In Republicanland.
@Keith:
That would require Erick actually care about what they think and why. Lumping everyone into easy to refer to groups is the only way he can entertain any thoughts at all about them.
Yatsuno
@YellowJournalism: He makes really good challah for a goy.
@Odie Hugh Manatee: It just takes one piercing of the femoral artery…
Odie Hugh Manatee
@Diana:
You might be right, I suppose if Tunch was somehow able to muster up the effort and crawl up on John’s guest that his claws would sink to lethal depths for traction.
OK, bottle rockets are faster. :)
trollhattan
Oopsie.
http://blogs.sacbee.com/capitolalertlatest/2013/06/fbi-raids-ca-sen-ron-calderons-office.html#storylink=cpy
Swear to bog the Dems are going to squander their statehouse supermajority.
Suffern ACE
@trollhattan: Oh. the local dems are doing a good job out here in getting their offices raided as well. Heck, the Township of Ramapo, where Suffern ACE resides, was raided just two weeks ago. Now comes the fun part of waiting 180 days so that those warrant can be unsealed.
Suzanne
@Redshirt: Sharpies and eyebrows? Is this a Chola-fied sleepover?
Mark
which peugeot are the awesome ones? I see several different models and features
lojasmo
@Yatsuno:
Cassidy
@lojasmo: Depends on where it’s cut. A low femoral injury can be controlled rather quickly with a tourniquet, although I’m not sure what you’re referring to re: “let it heal”. A puntured/ sliced/ severed femoral requires surgical intervention. The blood comes out to forcefully for it to clot effectively; pressure isn’t adequate. An injury to the femoral that’s higher up is much harder to deal with as you have to deal with retraction of the severed end into the pelvis. At that point you have to go in with a clamp, pull it down, and clamp it off.
Your best bet is to tourniquet high on the thing, preferably with two tourniquets, and then put a hemostatic agent/ gauze of some kind into the wound cavity up against the severed end or puncture if possible.
Jebediah
@gelfling545:
Luckily for me, it is almost always just a t-shirt that Juno decides needs to be liberated from the hamper…
Paul in KY
@mai naem: He must be soaking wet in that picture.
Wvskir
Is that Fiestaware you use to serve Tunch and your guests. It’s the finest in the world and almost good enough for sweet Lily.