Inspired by a commenter, I have come up with an auto industry bailout plan. For years, we have been treated to the following comments:
A Republican congressman who said parts of Iraq are no more dangerous than Detroit is drawing criticism from the mayor’s office and the Michigan Democratic party.
During an interview Monday with WILS-AM in Lansing, Rep. Tim Walberg, R-Tipton, said the returning troops he has talked with “indicate to me that 80 to 85 percent, in a conservative fashion, of (Iraq) is reasonably under control, at least as well as Detroit or Chicago or any of our other big cities. That’s an encouraging sign.”
And this:
Former state Assemblyman Howard Kaloogian is leading a group of about 20 people on a visit to Iraq next month in what he and his organization, Move America Forward, call a “Truth Tour.”
“We want to get a firsthand account and look at the progress being made over there,” the 45-year-old conservative Republican said in a telephone interview from Michigan where he was on business. “You never hear about the good news from Iraq.”
***“The impression most people have on the streets of San Diego is that car bombs are the norm when in fact they aren’t,” Kaloogian said. “Detroit is arguably a more dangerous place than Iraq.”
Rep. Steve King (R-IA) was even dedicated enough to run the numbers:
Using Pentagon statistics cross-checked with independent research, King said he came up with an annualized Iraqi civilian death rate of 27.51 per 100,000.
While that number sounds high – astonishingly, the Iowa Republican discovered that it’s significantly lower than a number of major American cities, including the nation’s capital.
“It’s 45 violent deaths per 100,000 in Washington, D.C.,” King told Crowley.
Other American cities with higher violent civilian death rates than Iraq include:
Detroit – 41.8 per 100,000
Baltimore – 37.7 per 100,000
Atlanta – 34.9 per 100,000
St. Louis – 31.4 per 100,000
Additionally, I am aware that Michigan has a ginormous Muslim population and has almost instituted Sharia Law. I think you can understand what needs to be done.
We need to invade Michigan and rebuild the state from the ground up. We will be greeted as liberators, we have clear supply lines, and we can easily rebuild the auto industry with the kind of money we spend on other countries we invade. Hell, our new Secretary of State, Hillary of Clinton, spent the better part of the past year fighting for the rights of average folks from Michigan, so think of the good will we have with the public. This is very doable. Just tell Congress we will give KBR no-bid contracts to fix Detroit.
And citizens of Baltimore, Altanta, St. Louis, and DC- you better get your shit together or you are next.
*** Update ***
This plan is picking up support rapidly, and we have unearthed another bonus to earn GOP support:
I love it! We won’t even need that many translators so we can continue to kick-out those wimpy gays from the military!
Zifnab
Oh. I see you’ve stumbled on the Republican 2012 Presidential platform.
dadanarchist
Over on the New York Times’ front page:
Well, at least Corker has admitted to what this is all about: ideology.
Xecky Gilchrist
Just tell Congress we will give KBR no-bid contracts to fix Detroit.
Fine, so long as you don’t actually do it.
nikkos
Should be a cakewalk.
estamm
Ok, go to Iraq and ask how many of them would prefer to live in Detroit, fully informing them of how much more dangerous Detroit is. Then, go to Detroit, and ask how many of them would prefer to live in Iraq, fully informing them of how much safer it is. Now, count up the total number of people who would want to move. I just conducted that exact survey, and wow, look at the results:
Iraqi’s who want to move to Detroit: 95.8%
Detroit residents who want to move to Iraq: 0.1%
Ok, now to the NEXT stupid idiotic piece of crap utterly meaningless statistic…
cleek
no blood for oil-burners!
TenguPhule
Additionally, this means we can put Keyboard commandos on the front lines and let the liberal gunowners get in some live target practice.
burnspbesq
The locals will greet our troops with candy and flowers.
And Ford Field can be the new abu Ghraib. There’s no football being played there at this time. The Final Four can be relocated.
Just Some Fuckhead
I think you missed another opportunity John: Inspired by some fuckhead..
Heh.
Ripley
Dozens of unqualified, irresponsible, well connected young Republican upstarts can be given authority over reconstruction initiatives.
Unemployment? Solved!
peach flavored shampoo
I’m sure this has been mentioned before, but I’ll ask it anyways — what the heck was the point of Congress passing, then bouncing, this bill, if Georgie can just demand TARP money for the automakers anyways?
Seriously? GWB can just sidestep Congress and give them the money? What the hell did Congress just vote down then?
I’m serious. I don’t understand this.
Huntly
Anyone have the actual vote tally? Did Obama vote? Binden, Clinton?
Found:frwebgate.access.gpo.gov/cgi-bin/getpage.cgi?dbname=2008_record&page=S10931&position=all
Vincent
Huntly, I know that Obama resigned from the Senate weeks ago. That’s kinda what the whole Blagovich (?) scandal is about. So no, he didn’t vote. I would think Biden and Clinton would have resigned by now too but I’m not sure about them.
bayville
Commrade Cole, it appears time to start investigating whether or not to purchase some riverfront property along the Tigris. By gosh, it sounds like Bagdhad is on the verge of becoming a popular resort town.
Comrade Dread
You joke, Comrade, but given we already have troops stationed here for the stated purpose of "helping out in an emergency", it’s probably just a matter of time.
TheFountainHead
Like I said before, this is so close to being the reality. Unfortunately, we don’t actually have the resources to do it right. We’re spread a little thin at the moment. Thankfully, as Comrade Dread has pointed out, this has been a contingency for a while.
TheHatOnMyCat
Posturing on both sides. A pretty large part of congress is posturing and setting themselves, and their opponents, up for the next election cycle.
This was all about that.
Just Some Fuckhead
I think it was the difference between doing it legally and doing it illegally.
Gwendy
The only question that matters: does MIchigan have oil reserves?
jake 4 that 1
Does gas left in the tanks of abandoned cars count?
TheHatOnMyCat
Long overdue. All those hours shooting at jackrabbits when I was a kid are about to pay off ……..
The Grand Panjandrum
What could possibly go wrong? At least if they end up with daily car/truck bombings (Driven by foreign fighters. You know how those Canadians are!) it could be spun as part of an economic stimulus plan to increase the demand for vehicles.
nathaniel
I can not believe how stupid people are. There are about 28 million people in Iraq. If the rate due to violent death was really 27.51, that would mean there was only about 8,000 in the entire country last year. Does anyone believe that?
Also the estimates that are made, are general those of excessive civilian deaths. So they are not counting insurgents or Iraqi soldiers (nor American soldiers). They are not counting your standrad crime either. People still kill for reasons that do not relate to the war and those deaths are not counted in this estimate.
akaoni
John, I believe those fraudulent numbers are from Iowa Congressman Steve King, our beloved Western Iowa wingnut who’s famed for is idiotic antics. I doubt Peter King could hold a candle to him.
burnspbesq
@akaoni:
You might be surprised. Peter King is some piece of work.
The Grand Panjandrum
@burnspbesq: John’s linked piece specifically mentions our friend from Iowa. But I do agree Peter King is a piece of work.
David Hunt
I am saddened by my utter lack of surprise over a Republican putz that is still using trying to form a false equivalence between the Murder-rates in an American city and the entire country of Iraq. For starters, why doesn’t he take the rates for Baghdad and then compare them to Detroit. I’d also be willing to bet all the money in my pockets that he’s gaming the system with where he’s getting his death-rates from.
Beyond that, here’s the definitive response about the murder rate in Baghdad
John Cole
@The Grand Panjandrum: Fixed.
An easy mistake to make. When I think “jackass” and “king,” Peter King is usually my first thought.
Rick Taylor
After getting us into a costly useless war, running the hugest deficits in history, and enabling the meltdown of the world economy, Republicans are doing everything they can to obstruct desperate efforts to fix this mess. We’d be far better off without them.
srv
We’re going to need a pro-consul, or occupation czar.
Bremer had a lot of great ideas, trying to turn Iraq in a libertarian utopia, but just didn’t have the cajones to make it happen. We’ll need someone folksy and well spoken, but someone who can put lipstick on the pig when the union folk get out of line…
MNPundit
I love it! We won’t even need that many translators so we can continue to kick-out those wimpy gays from the military!
John Cole
By the way, for once I would like to pat myself on the back. I am usually pretty slow on the uptake, but this time around I figured things out before they happened- the GOP really was just engaging in union busting, and I saw it coming.
Maybe not before a lot of other people saw it, but for once I saw shit happening before it actually happened. I guess once you realize how these guys operate in the Republican party, it sort of explains how insane they have driven some of you all the past eight years. I didn’t understand it when I was a Republican, and thought you all were just nuts.
Shinobi
We’re all glad to have you on our side John.
Just Some Fuckhead
@John Cole: You nailed that one.
bootlegger
@Huntly:
So what’s up with 12 people not voting? And some of them are Dems!
J. Michael Neal
Here’s the kicker to their little tirade. When you’re getting your ass kicked by car makers in Germany, the problem pretty clearly is not that your unions are too strong.
TheHatOnMyCat
Well, we are. But in a good way.
But yes, you nailed this one.
dave
The most often overlooked flaw in the murder rate comparison is the obvious fact that the US Army isn’t occupying Detroit. If the army ever occupied Detroit and worked in tandem with the police (without any constitutional restraints) to punish wrongdoing, the Detroit murder rate would drop to nearly zero.
Also, it is a near certainty that zero troops would be killed occupying Detroit.
Hell, you wouldn’t even need the US army. If we decided to spend trillions of dollars on the "reconstruction" of Detroit then crime would almost surely drop somewhat.
Also, I’d rather live in present day Detroit even with its current murder rate, than in a hypothetically crime-free Detroit occupied by the US army without constitutional restraint.
But I guess I’m just a DFH so what do I know.
Joshua Norton
Needless to say, cheap-labor conservatives are big fans of industrial capitalism, and the legal basis for them, the business corporation. But they don’t like unions – or any of the rest of the protections from them. Apparently it is okay if rich people organize themselves into huge economic bargaining units called “corporations” – but it is “tyranny” if you do virtually the same thing by forming a union. It’s legitimate for the government to empower the wealthy to get even wealthier, but “tyranny” (or now-a-days, "communist/Marxist") to empower you to hold your own against them.
Garrigus Carraig
LOLWUT
Tymannosourus
But what about Murderapolis, MN? Can’t we be recognized for something other than Larry Craig and Prince?
Evinfuilt
@J. Michael Neal:
For them to admit that Germany has universal health care and unions (let along vacation and paid time off for illness and pregnancy) would mean to admit reality. That’s one thing the current Republicans can’t handle.
I mean, Germany can do all that, and still sell cars in the US that people want (mind you I do know many VW’s are made in Mexico, so its not all true.)
J. Michael Neal
There was that Minneapolis city councilman that was busted about five years ago for accepting $1,500 in free plumbing in exchange for greasing the permit process. Does he count?
Christ, Minnesotans are so inept at corruption (what, you couldn’t get cash?) that I’m almost embarrassed to live here. Of course, what can you expect from a state where the position of State Auditor is not only elective, but doing a good job at it can be a springboard to being governor?
Svensker
Sending $9billion a week to Iraq? Just peachy. Sending $14billion to Detroit? No flipping way!
What is wrong with these people?
cleek
screw those guys. Minneapolis gave us all The Replacements!!
and for that we are thankful.
Poopyman
Good! There’s an insurgent there goes by the name of "Ted Nugent". I think he needs his door kicked down.
Got his address here somewhere…..
Stuck in the Funhouse
While we’re at it we might as well do Chicago too and save a nickel. There is a recession on/
TenguPhule
Just because we’re insane doesn’t mean we’re crazy stupid.
tavella
Yup. It was the voice of experience.
Faux News
Oh God, that is such "chump change" that the DC gub’mint wouldn’t even bother investigating it!
I mean when a DC tax office official can embezzle $50 million dollars over several years why would one bother? Oh btw, it was a bank teller who alerted the authorities, not the DC gub’mint.
Silver Owl
Remember that scene in Miracle on 34th street with all the mail bags being trucked to the court house?
I think it’s time Americans start forwarding copies (redacted of important information to prevent identity theft) of their bills that will not get paid to republicans.
Currently we’re looking at 5.2 million unemployed, more people getting behind as plants shut down for the month Jan.
Think about it? Gas, electric, water, mortgage/rent, car payment(s), insurance payments (house, car, life, cobra, etc), credit card bills, equity loan payments. At least 35 million bills dumped in their offices. Every month. It would only increase as the depression worsens.
bootlegger
@Silver Owl: This would be great and it doesn’t have to be the newly unemployed, everyone could participate, its fun for young and old. Of course the wingnuts would respond by mailing Democrats their…..(you supply the punhcline).
LiberalTarian
I was thinking y’all did a good job of going all Swastika during the RNC, but then I remembered that was St. Paul.
So, yeah, I guess you guys pretty much suck and the super bad horrible government thing. Do you get credit for Norm Coleman?
Tymannosourus
I have no idea what this means. I thought the Macalester hippies (oops, I mean "anarchists") did a good job representing the lunatic fringe during the RNC.
henqiguan
re: #50 Faux News
DC doesn’t have a government. It’s controlled by a couple of Republican and/or ‘Dixicrat’ dominated committees in the US House (at least, it was when I lived there, a very long time ago).
Stuck in the Funhouse
@Poopyman:
How did you do that?
J. Michael Neal
Minneapolis? No. Neither does St. Paul. You can’t even blame him on the rural parts of the state, because northeast Minnesota was settled by Finnish Socialists, and their voting hasn’t changed much. The suburbs are responsible.
Minneapolis brought you the only Islamic member of Congress.
J. Michael Neal
Woo hoo! I’m a winner in moderation roulette!
TenguPhule
BAD CLEEK! Close your Tags!
cleek
mea culpa.
i wanted to fix it, after i posted and saw that some text after the links was missing. but the comment was in moderation, and i couldn’t touch it.
LiberalTarian
Well, I found the whole thing really unsettling. Of course, the RNC took out a $10 million insurance policy so any police riots and bad behavior were covered, but still. Day-long permits to march were summarily revoked a few hours before they expired and the people involved were rounded up and arrested. And the anarchists? Puh-lease. They are about as meaningful as PETA, but without the groovy naked advertisements.
Chris Johnson
…anthrax?
The Other Steve
Tom Petters!
Although granted, his $5 billion ponzi scheme sounded pretty exciting until that wall street guy showed up with a $50 billion one.
DAMNIT! We can’t get a break!
HyperIon
he was mayor of St. Paul before he became a nationally known asshole.
MNPundit
St.Paul is the actual capital of Minnesota and is across the Mississippi from Minneapolis.
Also, I think it’s not pure anti-union I think some of the GOP idiots actually believe the whole "FDR prolonged the depression! Hooverism!" line.
J. Michael Neal
Yeah, but he was a Democrat then.
ptmacgjr
Wouldn’t it be much simpler if the unions backed down a little on pay (not benefits) the car companies immediatly closed down ALL of the operations out of the US and bring them back here where we would have a rise in employment (from the jobs they took from us in the first place? Then have the car companies POST the actual cost of each car made and promised only a 20% hike on all cars sold with 10% of that going to the dealership selling the car. EVERYBODY would be making money, more people buying US made cars, the unions taken care of and people will be happier, the Goverment will be making money on the taxes of more cars being sold. Jeez, maybe thats just too simple
Rommie
Hey now, be careful – us Michigan folk would sooner ask for asylum from Canada than let a bunch of New Confederacy troops march in and take over. We whupped the British, we can whup Dixie V2 too.
And for Baby Jesus’ sake, DO NOT include anyone from Ohio. AT ALL. You’ll have real fighting on your hands if they are part of the army.
Otherwise, it should be a smooth occupation – we don’t seem to care who’s in charge (see Engler, John I) and would welcome the return of the football team’s exile from Hapless.
Just be wary of the U.P., they can be stubborn sometimes.
Luddite
From what I have been told the invading army will need interpreters for the U-Pers :-)
Jay Severin Has A Small Pen1s
I’m concerned for the safety of our government officials. They are in Washington DC, which is very unsafe compared to Iraq. Maybe we should relocate the capital to Baghdad until things calm down in DC?
HyperIon
@J. Michael Neal:
and already a local asshole, i bet.
HyperIon
@ptmacgjr:
it’s NOT the pay; it’s the benefits (for current and retired employees).
see this
(i posted it in the previous Car Bailout thread but don’t know how to "point" at THAT comment.)
eQuin
Krugman says the industry will just disappear .. to be exact He said " The U.S. auto industry will likely disappear.
"It will do so because of the geographical forces that me and my colleagues have discussed," the Princeton University professor and New York Times columnist told reporters in Stockholm. "It is no longer sustained by the current economy."
———————————
"Krugman said plans by U.S. lawmakers to bail out the Big Three automakers were a short-term solution, resulting from a "lack of willingness to accept the failure of a large industry in the midst of an economic crisis."
cnbc.com/id/28097151
John Cole
BZZZT. Party foul. That is not what he said:
Next.
bad dad
I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.
Maggots do count as insects, right?
Andy K
Pastor Walberg is a one-term, Club For Growth Republican who motivated the Xtians in his district to ouster moderate (liberal, even) Joe Schwarz in the ’06 primaries. That district could have been red for quite a while had they kept Schwarz on- they’ll have a Democrat representing them beginning next month.
You’ll get a lot of support from this, the west side of the state. Richie DeVos of AMWAY would run the state free of charge, and his brother-in-law, Erik Prince, would probably give you the security force for a song.
Diane
Republicans had better be careful.
They appear to be setting the US up for class warfare.
How far will they go and will the republican party survive?
How can they justify handing out billions to wall street with NO strings attached and then union bust the middle class?
What are they thinking?
They will lose their NASCAR base!
lester mayfield
the republicans senators want to break the union. they want labor to brunt the whole cost of saving the industry. if it wasn’t for the bad economy the auto industry would not be in this trouble.the union will not have had a wage increase in 6 yrs after this contract do the senators no that. and do they see that the foreign auto makers are not selling cars now also. i think it is terrible that these southern senators will sell out the united states for the few foreign auto plants in there state.as far as the retired workers pensions there is nothing that can be and should be done about that they worked hard for 35,40 years for that and deserve to keep it.how would these senators like to loose there pensions when they retire what makes them think they are any more deservieing than a hard working american.
Svensker
Krugman was also pretty vehement in stating that he wouldn’t have said "me and my colleagues have discussed".
Disoculated
This is SO FUCKING STUPID.
There’s NO OIL in Michigan!
Droewyn
A worthy idea to be sure, but a little late if you wanted to get rid of Detroit’s corrupt dictator — we already had our regime change for this year.
I suppose the liberators could stop by the jail and poke Kwame with sticks through the bars, but I’m not sure how satisfying that would be.
Andy K
I wouldn’t mind doing that.
joe
Maybe the people of Michigan just need to stop voting for Democrats to save it, the invasion part would not be necessary.