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Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

I would try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Radicalized white males who support Trump are pitching a tent in the abyss.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

When you’re a Republican, they let you do it.

The “burn-it-down” people are good with that until they become part of the kindling.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

How stupid are these people?

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Wake up. Grow up. Get in the fight.

If you cannot answer whether trump lost the 2020 election, you are unfit for office.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

I’m more christian than these people and i’m an atheist.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

Republicans do not trust women.

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General Stupidity

You are here: Home / Archives for General Stupidity

Tubas & Trombones for Peace (Open Thread)

by Betty Cracker|  July 8, 202510:11 am| 5 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Politics, Assholes, Clown Shoes, General Stupidity

Not sure if we talked about this incident from the No Kings protests a few weeks back, but it sticks in my mind for some reason. This took place in Atlanta. A scrum of Proud Boy goobers was at the event arguing with protesters. A couple of cops were trying to keep the groups apart, but things were getting heated. Then came the tuba, trombone and assorted other instruments!

The brass band took the wind right out of the goobers’ sails! They fled the scene shortly thereafter.

It reminded me of a scene I witnessed at a Pride march years ago in St. Pete. One of the attendees stymied a nasty sidewalk preacher by sounding an airhorn every time he opened his stupid loud mouth to shout hateful things.

I wish I knew how to play a tuba because it seems like a brilliant way to defuse tense situations and humiliate bullies. The only instrument I know how to play (and badly at that) is a ukulele, which is ill-suited to drowning out creeps. But I suppose anyone can play an airhorn.

Open thread.

Tubas & Trombones for Peace (Open Thread)Post + Comments (5)

Bad Optics (Open Thread)

by Betty Cracker|  June 30, 20251:00 pm| 149 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Politics, Republican Stupidity, All we want is life beyond the thunderdome, Assholes, General Stupidity

There are many underlying reasons for why we can’t have nice things in the U.S., including racism, misogyny and xenophobia. But the current shit-sandwich of a bill in Congress right now has a direct cause too. It’s what happens when you have government of the wealthy, by the wealthy, for the wealthy. So, wealthy Republicans are transferring funds from the poor and middle class TO the wealthy. Of course they are.

Will folks who don’t pay attention to politics because both parties are the same catch on when Meemaw gets kicked out of her nursing home and dumped on their lawn? When hospitals shut down? When Big Balls redirects Social Security funds to a crypto scam? When a hurricane blows their house away, but oops! we spent all the FEMA money on building concentration camps for immigrants in the Everglades?

I don’t know, but it occurred to me the optics were interesting this weekend when the Republican reconciliation bill drama played out while Jeff Bezos was marrying an AI-generated hologram in Italy. Hilariously, Newsweek had this to say about the obscene cost of the wedding:

Jeff Bezos’ Venice Wedding Was Relatively Cheap

The cost of the nuptials on Friday was estimated between $47 million and $56 million, according to Reuters, citing Luca Zaia, president of the Veneto region where the Italian city of canals is based. And while this sum may appear lavish to any ordinary American, it amounted to just 0.0193-0.0230 percent of the Amazon founder’s estimated $244 billion net worth, as recorded by the Bloomberg Billionaires Index.

The average and median net worth of an American family is $1,063,700 and $192,900 respectively, according to the most recent data from the U.S. Federal Reserve. This means Bezos’ wedding was financially similar to an average American spending less than $250 on their wedding—about the cost of a family dinner or a new pair of sneakers.

Wow, okay, relatively. Without trying to, I stumbled across several photos from that grotesquely wasteful shindig online, including Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner in fancy dress boarding a boat, plus assorted Kardashians. It was kind of jarring to see all that conspicuous consumption juxtaposed with stories about hardships to come when the Republican bill passes.

The optics, man. Not good! It adds to other New Gilded Age images that have been seared onto our eyeballs since Trump 2.0, like the billionaires lined up at Trump’s inauguration.

If there’s a Reign of Terror in our future, some as-yet-unidentified revolutionary might decide the guest list for the Bezos wedding is a logical place to start. Just saying.

Open thread.

Bad Optics (Open Thread)Post + Comments (149)

Monday Morning Phone-a-Rama

by Betty Cracker|  June 30, 20258:22 am| 185 Comments

This post is in: Domestic Politics, Open Threads, Politics, Republican Stupidity, Assholes, General Stupidity

Soon to be retired Senator Tillis (R-NC), wearing a bolo tie for reasons I can’t fathom, sort of tells the truth about the reconciliation bill:

Republican Senator Thom Tillis: What do I tell 663,000 people and two years or three years when President Trump breaks his promise by pushing them off of Medicaid. Trump’s advisers in the White House are not telling him that the effect of this bill is to break a promise.

[image or embed]

— Protect Our Care (@protectourcare.org) June 29, 2025 at 9:22 PM

I say “sort of” because Tillis implies that Trump doesn’t understand that the bill will strip healthcare from millions of Americans. The truth is Trump doesn’t give a shit, and whether he knows what the bill does or not is immaterial. But it’s rare enough for a Republican to tell the truth that even a half-truth is remarkable.

Anyway, I contacted my shithead Republican senators and pointlessly left a message asking them to find the courage to oppose this piece of shit bill. They demonstrably don’t give a shit about their constituents either, but maybe they care about their political prospects going forward, so I noted that Trump won’t have to face voters again when the full effects of this bill are known, but they will.

It won’t change my senators’ votes — both are deeply corrupt right-wing hacks. But I do think there’s some value in squawking.

Open thread.

Monday Morning Phone-a-RamaPost + Comments (185)

Trump Orders Israel to “Pardon” Netanyahu

by Betty Cracker|  June 26, 202512:39 pm| 176 Comments

This post is in: Foreign Affairs, Open Threads, Politics, Republican Stupidity, Assholes, Clown Shoes, General Stupidity

Trump is enraged about the leaked classified report that interrupted his victory dance over the “complete and total obliteration” of Iran’s nuclear program. [NYT]

A preliminary classified U.S. report says the American bombing of three nuclear sites in Iran set back the country’s nuclear program by only a few months, according to officials familiar with the findings.

The strikes sealed off the entrances to two of the facilities but did not collapse their underground buildings, the officials said the early findings concluded.

So, all that huffing and puffing, and it’s entrances blocked? Sad. Like Laura Loomer handcuffing herself to half of a double door at Twitter’s NYC office building sad.

This morning, Trump sent Kegsbreath out to insist that actually, it was TOO a total and complete obliteration, and if you don’t think so, that’s because you hate the troops. Also, wave more flags.

“How about we talk about how special America is?” — Secretary of Defense Hegseth castigates the press for “cheering against Trump” (he even mentions Fox!) and urges them to do unthinking propaganda stories about how awesome the troops are

[image or embed]

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar.com) June 26, 2025 at 8:20 AM

Okay, that was weird and creepy and North Korea-like, but it was also ineffective because the smelly overgrown toddler was still throwing toys out of his gilded playpen this morning — after the scoldy Pentagon press conference:

Trump on truth social: "FAKE NEWS REPORTERS FROM CNN & THE NEW YORK TIMES SHOULD BE FIRED, IMMEDIATELY!!! BAD PEOPLE WITH EVIL INTENTIONS!!!"

But the tantrum was even weirder last night if you scroll down. Trump orders the judiciary of another sovereign nation to cancel an upcoming trial:

BREAKING NEWS…I was shocked to hear that the State of Israel, which has just had one of its Greatest Moments in History, and is strongly led by Bibi Netanyahu, is continuing its ridiculous Witch Hunt against their Great War Time Prime Minister! Bibi and I just went through HELL together, fighting a very tough and brilliant longtime enemy of Israel, Iran, and Bibi could not have been better, sharper, or stronger in his LOVE for the incredible Holy Land. Anybody else would have suffered losses, embarrassment, and chaos! Bibi Netanyahu was a WARRIOR, like perhaps no other Warrior in the History of Israel, and the result was something that nobody thought was possible, a complete elimination of potentially one of the biggest and most powerful Nuclear Weapons anywhere in the World, and it was going to happen, SOON! We were fighting, literally, for the Survival of Israel, and there is nobody in Israel’s History that fought harder or more competently than Bibi Netanyahu. Despite all of this, I just learned that Bibi has been summoned to Court on Monday for the continuation of this long running, (He has been going through this “Horror Show” since May of 2020 – Unheard of! This is the first time a sitting Israeli Prime Minister has ever been on trial.), politically motivated case, “concerning cigars, a Bugs Bunny doll, and numerous other unfair charges” in order to do him great harm. Such a WITCH HUNT, for a man who has given so much, is unthinkable to me. He deserves much better than this, and so does the State of Israel. Bibi Netanyahu’s trial should be CANCELLED, IMMEDIATELY, or a Pardon given to a Great Hero, who has done so much for the State. Perhaps there is no one that I know who could have worked in better harmony with the President of the United States, ME, than Bibi Netanyahu. It was the United States of America that saved Israel, and now it is going to be the United States of America that saves Bibi Netanyahu. THIS TRAVESTY OF “JUSTICE” CAN NOT BE ALLOWED!

Emphasis mine. What the fucking fuck?

Trump held a grudge against Netanyahu after the PM congratulated Biden on his win in 2020. But since Netanyahu let Trump in on his glorious victory over Iran (i.e., played Trump to obtain U.S. pilots to deliver costly U.S. ordnance), all is forgiven and Netanyahu is “a WARRIOR, like perhaps no other Warrior in the History of Israel.” (More proof Trump has never read a bible in his life.)

Anyway, this is all so fucking weird. I don’t know what to make of it.

Open thread.

Trump Orders Israel to “Pardon” NetanyahuPost + Comments (176)

Schrödinger’s Ceasefire (Open Thread)

by Betty Cracker|  June 24, 20257:10 am| 186 Comments

This post is in: Foreign Affairs, Open Threads, Politics, Republican Stupidity, Clown Shoes, General Stupidity

So this happened yesterday:

I mean this is what it would sound like if you asked a fourth grader to imagine what a ceasefire would be like. and yet our entire political class is committed to never mentioning that the man is an imbecile

[image or embed]

— Will Stancil (@whstancil.bsky.social) June 23, 2025 at 11:58 PM

And then this madness a few hours later:

Schrödinger's Ceasefire (Open Thread)

And then this tweet-scream moments ago:

Schrödinger's Ceasefire (Open Thread) 1

Maybe while I was putting pig stickers on my screenshots to spare y’all the sight of his hideous visage, Trump emitted even more crazypants stuff. I don’t know. I’m not going to look.

This is, of course, insane.

Open thread!

Schrödinger’s Ceasefire (Open Thread)Post + Comments (186)

The Vibes War

by Betty Cracker|  June 23, 20259:29 am| 265 Comments

This post is in: Domestic Politics, Foreign Affairs, Open Threads, Politics, Republican Stupidity, Assholes, General Stupidity, Our Failed Media Experiment

“A man you can bait with a tweet is not a man we can trust with nuclear weapons.”

— Hillary Clinton, 2016

Donald Trump and the Republican Party he acquired as a wholly owned subsidiary are a catastrophe for the United States. We’ve lost ground on every important metric, becoming less free and prosperous at home and less influential as a force for democracy and innovation abroad.

Trump’s U.S. has discouraged and betrayed allies while emboldening and strengthening foes. Trump Republicans are reversing fragile social progress and exacerbating wealth inequality, setting in motion repercussions that will reverberate for generations.

Given the massive setbacks we’ve experienced under Trump’s malign and chaotic rule, it’s unsurprising that so many opponents credit a foreign influence operation for Trump’s rise. And indeed bad actors like Russia indisputably played a part in producing this endlessly humiliating clown show.

But the major force in all of this is something much more pathetic and less sophisticated than spy vs. spy shit. The core fact is that it’s trivially easy to manipulate a belligerent, vainglorious bully, as Hillary Clinton pointed out almost a decade ago.

Although it’s easy to manipulate a dumb and insecure yet powerful person, it’s dangerous too. We’ve all witnessed the sad parade of “dignity wraiths” who’ve attached themselves to Trump to achieve their own ends, only to be cast aside when they proved inconvenient. Jefferson Beauregard Chifforobe Sessions was possibly the first in that now very long and pathetic line.

But the fact remains that Trump really is easy to manipulate — it’s just that the consequences are unpredictable. Elon Musk appears to be sorting through that fallout now.

Though currently sidelined, it’s possible Musk will emerge victorious if he and fellow billionaire elites succeed in creating and controlling a surveillance state to underpin a techno-feudal form of government in Trump’s wake. But that outcome isn’t preordained.

Right now, thanks to Trump’s fragile ego, whoever is in charge of Fox News programming is in effect running foreign policy. New York Times political coverage is terrible, but one thing access journalism occasionally horks up is insight into how decisions are made, and holy shit:

Mr. Trump had spent the early months of his administration warning Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel against a strike on Iran. But by the morning of Friday, June 13, hours after the first Israeli attacks, Mr. Trump had changed his tune.

He marveled to advisers about what he said was a brilliant Israeli military operation, which involved a series of precision strikes that killed key figures in Iran’s military leadership and blasted away strategic weapons sites. Mr. Trump took calls on his cellphone from reporters and began hailing the operation as “excellent” and “very successful” and hinting that he had much more to do with it than people realized.

Later that day, Mr. Trump asked an ally how the Israeli strikes were “playing.” He said that “everyone” was telling him he needed to get more involved, including potentially dropping 30,000-pound GBU-57 bombs on Fordo, the Iranian uranium-enrichment facility buried underneath a mountain south of Tehran.

In a podcast released just before the U.S. attacked Iran, Josh Marshall noted that Trump is very much in favor of blowing shit up, but he fears commitment. Marshall said Trump would find a “one-night stand” type of military engagement irresistible, and that turned out to be true.

The president was closely monitoring Fox News, which was airing wall-to-wall praise of Israel’s military operation and featuring guests urging Mr. Trump to get more involved. Several Trump advisers lamented the fact that Mr. Carlson was no longer on Fox, which meant that Mr. Trump was not hearing much of the other side of the debate.

The very silly statements administration officials have made since the bombing — like J.D. Vance’s absurd claim that the U.S. isn’t at war with Iran but only with Iran’s nuclear program — underscore the point that Trump believes this was a “one-and-done” military action. But in a war, the opponent has agency too.

That’s the unknown here. What is known is that for the foreseeable future, we’re all hostage to one uniquely terrible person’s ego-driven whims and how they are shaped by the media he consumes.

Open thread.

The Vibes WarPost + Comments (265)

The Horrors (Open Thread)

by Betty Cracker|  June 22, 202510:24 am| 224 Comments

This post is in: Domestic Politics, Foreign Affairs, Open Threads, Politics, Republican Stupidity, Assholes, Clown Shoes, General Stupidity

Senator Murphy summed it up succinctly:

Donald Trump, a weak and dangerously reckless president, has put the United States on a path to a war in the Middle East that the country does not want, the law does not allow, and our security does not demand.

— Chris Murphy (@chrismurphyct.bsky.social) June 22, 2025 at 12:53 AM

Did anyone else see Kegsbreath’s grotesque and obsequious “briefing” this morning? I just cannot with this shit. Gonna watch just birds for a few days.

Open thread.

The Horrors (Open Thread)Post + Comments (224)

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