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You are here: Home / The Day Snark Died

The Day Snark Died

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Reacting to the news that Bush blocked the military aid Israel needed to start WWIII with Iran, the Astute Bloggers state the following:

BUSH IS A WIMP. A LIBERAL HAWK, BUT A WIMPY ONE.

HE’S BEEN WAY TOO SOFT ON IRAN, NORTH KOREA, THE MSM, SAUDI ARABIA AND THE DEMOCRATS.

Dude. You totally forgot the UN, the Dixie Chicks, Al Gore, and Jane Fonda. Also, Michael Moore is fat.

Seriously. How do you top that? Game, set, match, Astute Bloggers.

Reader Interactions

49Comments

  1. 1.

    Comrade Stuck

    The snake has finally eaten it’s tail, about fucking time. Ten days and we can bury the carcass and start gluing our country back together, if that’s still possible.

  4. 4.

    reliapundit

    thanks for the link!

    you’re right, i left out a lot of wimpy liberal crapo on Dubya’s CV:

    amnesty, dubai ports, miers, the pharma give away, NCLB, and so on: all liberal crap.

    and he was soft on the nytimes and mikey moore’s outrageous lies.

    bush never complained – even as the aclu and moore and the dicksuckie chicks whined about our VANISHING CIVIL LIBERTIES!

    now obama’s righthand man is brennan!

    BWAHAHAHAHAH!

    how’s that changeyhopey thing working out for you!?

    all the best!

  10. 10.

    Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist

    @reliapundit: how’s that changeyhopey thing working out for you!?

    Maybe we’ll see once it starts, ya tool.

    …the dicksuckie chicks…

    What do you have against them? Oh yeah, they criticized Bush.

  11. 11.

    Person of Choler

    Alas, now we have to wait for the Iranians to finish developing their nukes and give them the chance start WWIII or WWIV or whatever.

  12. 12.

    Comrade Stuck

    @reliapundit:

    Hope you’ll survive the political wilderness that awaits RP. Dress warm and pack plenty of Cheetos, and drop be now again for some changeyhope. :–) Bwwaaa ha ha ha !

  13. 13.

    TenguPhule

    The Day Snark Died

    Until tomorrow’s Snark.

    Because Snark never truly dies. It merely bides its time before it strikes again.

  15. 15.

    Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist

    @Person of Choler: Alas, now we have to wait for the Iranians to finish developing their nukes…

    Well, we were content to bomb countries that posed no threat to us while N. Korea developed their nuke, so why not?

  16. 16.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    via Steve Benen, a nail in Snark’s coffin:

    Congressional Republicans may have forged a fragile peace with President-elect Obama as he pushes his stimulus plan. But they face an insurgency on their right flank.

    "You can sense a lot of frustration — from listening to Rush Limbaugh to reading at RedState — with Republican members of Congress being ready to fall all over themselves to help him," says Erick Erickson, editor of the conservative blog RedState.

  18. 18.

    demimondian

    @kommrade reproductive vigor: Win.

    I’m seriously loving some of the other quotations in that piece:

    If the stimulus package fails to turn the economy around, argue Erickson and others, Democrats will be able to spread the blame around. Erickson thinks that the trap was most likely being set by chief of staff Rahm Emanuel, rather than Obama himself. "I don’t think Obama’s smart enough to set it," Erickson says. "I think he really believes his own rhetoric" about post-partisanship.

    Ri-ight, Erick. Your own record is so *stellar*…

  19. 19.

    El Cid

    You also have to wonder why George Bush Jr. went through the whole ‘election’ thing instead of just hunting down John Kerry and holding him in Guantanamo as an enemy political combatant. But no, he’s a WIMP!

  20. 20.

    The Moar You Know

    @reliapundit: Wow. Respectful, well spoken, and sane. You mother must be proud. Especially about the "dicksuckie chicks" line. Does your mom "dicksuckie"? Just curious.

    HE’S BEEN WAY TOO SOFT ON IRAN, NORTH KOREA, THE MSM, SAUDI ARABIA AND THE DEMOCRATS.

    That he didn’t drop nukular weapons on all five and place the survivors into forced-labor camps is proof that HE HAS NO BALLS.

  22. 22.

    Brick Oven Bill

    OK, I’ll fess up and submit for the record that my ‘dark of the moon’ theory did not pan out. It is the 11th in Iran. But why did Israel not hit?

    My guess is that the ‘let the government collapse’ crowd successfully made the argument that with oil below $50/bbl, Iran does not have a source of income. $50/bbl is the reported price point for Iranian oil, twice as expensive as domestic shale oil, I might add. Nice clean virgin fuel. You can make anything with it!

    Now that I have gone out on a limb and failed, here is my next limb, and it is longer. Russia has wanted a warm weather port since forever. Putin viscerally hates the US for what we did to him in Afghanistan. Putin thinks Obama is weak.

    So the real reason Putin crushed the Georgia military is to have instant access to seize Iran when the government falls. Warm water port, large oil reserves, instant access to take Arab oil when the time is right. All this in exchange for helping stabilize their friend Iran when its government collapses.

    There you have it. That is tonight’s conspiracy theory.

  23. 23.

    Delia

    It was superwimp Bob Gates that blew the deal for Bush. If only Dumbya had had the guts to hold onto Rummy and John Bolton. Then they and Deadeye Dick would have formed the Supertroika capable of nuking anything that moves. They would’ve let Israel take out not only Iran but also their enemies in Norway as well.

  24. 24.

    demimondian

    @The Moar You Know: Who uses forced labor camps any more? That’s so…so…so…World War II.

    The modern era uses the Guantanamo Island Gulag. Romantic Caribbean hideaway, tropical orange jumpsuit colors — so much more modern.

  25. 25.

    Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist

    @Delia: It was superwimp Bob Gates that blew the deal for Bush.

    Maybe, but I think the Asstoot bloggers are right that Dubya is himself a wimp. He is, his dad is – damn, it might be better for the country if we just stop installing Bushes as president.

  27. 27.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Game, set, match, Astute Bloggers.

    That’s the direct result of two or more astute bloggers working together. BAM!

  28. 28.

    DougJ

    Don’t be an ass. Putin is not going to seize Iran.

    I don’t read BoB comments, but it’s funny to read people’s replies to them.

    How the fuck would Putin "seize" Iran? What does that even mean?

  30. 30.

    demimondian

    @DougJ: B.O.B. has an intriguing theory about the Russians planning to overrun Iran after the government in Teheran falls due to the collapse of oil prices. The first step in their plan for region domination was the destruction of the Georgian military — somehow, Putin reared his head over South Ossetia and triggered Saalikashvilli’s bone-headed attack, thus allowing Russia to wipe out the Georgian military. Apparently, this is something which the Russians would otherwise find difficult…or something. For some reason, the significant mountainous region on the Georgian/Iranian border, and the critical religious significance of Qum, and the not insignificant number of Iranians who might resist a Russian occupation can be ignored by the Russians, but the utterly insignificant threat the Georgian military posed could not be.

    Hey, it’s not my theory. I’m just explaining it.

  32. 32.

    Ripley

    Sparkling, shining, mouth-breathing bald-headed proof that snark isn’t dead, it isn’t even resting: "Gaza Update: Joe the Plumber Covering the Gaza Conflict from Israel for Pajamas TV"…. Man, that’s meta snark!

  34. 34.

    demimondian

    Lame, misogynistic taunts are the first resort of needledicked trolls when faced with talented, good-looking women -who won’t put out for lame, misogynistic, needledicked trolls- .

    Fixt

  35. 35.

    Brick Oven Bill

    The threat of Georgia was NATO. Europe is completely dependent on oil imports. Tell me there is anyone in NATO willing to die for Georgia these days. There were Americans crawling all over that country a year ago.

    There is one pipeline in Georgia, two pipelines in Saudi, and the 22 mile wide Strait of Hormuz that are the only things connecting Europe to Middle East energy. Europe is completely dependent on Russian and Middle Eastern energy. Russians don’t miss when they aim at large pipelines.

    We have oil shale!

  39. 39.

    slag

    Canada. When a bunch of tiny, high-pitched cartoon kids and Robin Williams are harder on Canada than you are, you know you’re a wimp. Way to go, Monsieur Bush!

  41. 41.

    Brick Oven Bill

    “How the fuck would Putin "seize" Iran? What does that even mean?”

    If you want to see how the Russians do it, here is a link. Warning: graphic. Russia could take Iran at very little expense in the absence of a threat from the West. China would be a worry. China is also dependent on foreign oil.

    Iran inherited a fleet of F-14s after we left and they stayed in the air for somewhere around a week.

    Kalashnikov was a wounded tank sergeant. He designed that thing in the hospital.

  42. 42.

    Brick Oven Bill

    Of course, the “unidentified” aircraft, referred to in the link, was an SU-25. SU-25 pilots, shot down over Afghanistan, blew their brains out rather than being taken captive. Being taken captive meant having your head sawed off. I am trying to find this provision in the Geneva Convention.

  44. 44.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    Erickson thinks that the trap was most likely being set by chief of staff Rahm Emanuel, rather than Obama himself. "I don’t think Obama’s smart enough to set it," Erickson says.

    Well of course the Magic Negro isn’t smart enough to trap Republicans! The cunning Jew set it all up!1

    The next four years are going to be soooo much fun.

  45. 45.

    Robert Sneddon

    Responding to Brick Oven Bill:

    Russia already has a warm-water port. It’s called Vladivostok. They also got Port Arthur and the Sakhalin islands back off the Japanese during WWII. They don’t have a big-enough navy to need more basing facilities; if they did they could just buy them the same way the US has, like Yokosuka and Guantanamo Bay.

    If the Russians were to actually invade Iran, what happens next? Afghanistan II Electric Boogaloo. It’s three times the size of Iraq and look at how difficult it has been for the world’s largest military organisation to hold that particular hornet’s nest together, even with a lot of support from other countries.

  46. 46.

    Surreal American

    I’D NEVER EVER VOTE FOR HIM AGAIN – UNLESS HE RAN AGAINST A DEMOCRAT!

    Are you sure this isn’t snark?

  47. 47.

    RSA

    Given the line "Promoting Universal Human Rights" at the top of the page, I wondered what I’d find elsewhere on the site, in particular in connection with Gaza. So, something not relevant to human rights, but suggestive:

    SO WHAT’S THE PERCENTAGE? 850/1,333,000 = 0.000637659415. THAT’S 6/10,000TH’S OF A PERCENT.

    I realize not everyone can do arithmetic, but it’s sad when people don’t know they can’t do arithmetic…

  48. 48.

    OriGuy

    Russia already has a warm-water port. It’s called Vladivostok.

    The way things are going, pretty soon Archangelsk will be a warm-water port.

Comments are closed.