George Bush is on my tv giving a farewell address. I understand this is the norm, but for the life of me I do not remember one from Clinton, Bush, or Reagan.
At any rate, here is a thread to document the inevitable lies.
Reader Interactions
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TheFountainHead
People living in Freedom won’t support leaders who pursue a policy of terror.
Wait.
Wut?
Just Some Fuckhead
Danger Monkey, still playing the danger card. Watching him makes me want to slap the shit out of his parents.
Trinity
I just chucked a pump at my flat screen.
El Cid
Jeesh, he makes me hate him all over again. "Faith-based" even gets stuck into this 9/11 suckfest.
Patrick
Bush 1 didn’t give a farewell address.
demimondian
@Just Some Fuckhead: GWB is a walking advertisement for retroactive vasectomy.
Zuzu's Petals
Cheney’s lips are barely moving.
TheFountainHead
Is he on drugs? It’s been so long since I’ve allowed myself to watch him speak. Is he always this comatose?
Just Some Fuckhead
"Murdering the innocent to advance an ideology is wrong every time, everywhere."
Ya gotta love that dissonance.
demkat620
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Exactly. Does he not understand what the fuck he is saying?
Five days. Five fucking days.
Goddamn.
El Cid
Out, mutha f***ers!
Laura W
It was easier to listen to while simultaneously reading your previous post.
Just Some Fuckhead
"We have faced danger and trial, and there’s more ahead.."
IOW, he’s got 4 more days as President left..
Zuzu's Petals
Clinton’s farewell address here.
Incertus
You know what else is on tv right now? The 100 Hardest Rocking Songs ever, as chosen by VH1 watchers. It’s pretty fucked up, but at least host Bret Michaels seems to understand how pathetic he is on a subconscious level.
demimondian
@demkat620: I just realized that the company would put the inaugural on the big screen in the cafe if I asked them. I think I’ll do that.
Mazacote Yorquest
Not watching, feeling fine.
Incertus
@Just Some Fuckhead: Is that his way of saying "I’ve launched the missiles and Jesus will be taking the faithful to heaven any second now"?
demkat620
@demimondian:
Good for you! I can’t wait. It will be nice to just have a president who is not out embarrassing us at every turn.
Richard Bottoms
Is that shithead still president?
El Cid
What? No closing fireworks?
I was hoping John Bolton would follow Bush Jr’s exit by screaming and throwing flaming staplers at everybody.
El Cid
The C-Span callers on the Republican line are pretty glowing in their praises. "Thanks to him I’m going to grow up to be an American."
Comrade Stuck
Sometimes Matthews gets a brain fart and speaks wisdom. His synopsis of Bush and the neocons was inspired. The airhead who got to be presnit and chose an ideology of war and death and called it marching freedom. He ended with his smirk and shit eatin” grin intact. I want an indictment for his retirement present.
Bill H
And now we get Scott McClellan, possibly the most inconsequential person in the entire universe. He wrote an entire book which contained not a single word that was not already universally known. As a pundit, he says not a single thing that is not blindingly obvious.
r€nato
I grew up in a household full of fatherly abuse. My mother and I lived in terror of him until I was 16.
When my folks split up for good, I realized that for my entire childhood I would unconsciously tense up and get filled with a sense of dread when I would hear/feel the low bass rumble of his car pulling up in the driveway after a day of work, and that I no longer felt that way any longer. It was gone, miraculously melted away, and I was both amazed and pissed off that we had spent so long living in fear of him.
That’s how I feel now. There’s a tremendous weight that’s being lifted off my shoulders, a weight that was there dragging me down for 8 years but I’ve grown so used to it I’ve come to take it for granted.
No more. No more being led by a fundamentalist, sociopathic idiot.
No more being embarrassed by our president; in fact quite the opposite.
No more ideologically-blinded conservatives fucking up everything they touch and stealing from the poor and middle class to give to the rich.
No more living in dread of the Supreme Court robbing us of our reproductive freedoms and civil rights.
No more senseless warmongering.
No more Rumsfeld’s, Feith’s, Cheney’s, Wolfowitz’s or Addington’s.
For the first time in 8 years, I truly feel hope for our future and I gotta tell you, it feels damned good. I literally feel 10 lbs. lighter knowing that we’ll never again be addressed by this fuckstain as our president.
I’m gonna go get drunk now. FSM Bless America.
KLG
It was like, wow, man. Far out. Dude, I need a doobie and a Jack Daniels straight up. What a complete imbecilic sociopathic dumbass or preznit is.
El Cid
It’s another one of these moments where you wonder, was this all real? Did this all happen? Will anyone too young to really grasp it believe us when we tell them?
Just Some Fuckhead
@El Cid:
lolz
jrosen
I was shaving while listen to his friends make excuses for Charles Barkley in the pregame Cleveland-Chicago game. Much more enlightening and morally edifying then anything the chimp that walks like a man (Tixis-style) could ever deliver. I’ve been looking forward to living the rest of my life without hearing that voice ever again; by skipping this appearance I’ve moved that up one notch.
JL
I did not listen to Bush. Instead I had played a CD and drank my tea. After 8 years, I just did not want to hear his excuses anymore.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Bill H: You always get the impression that Scott McClellan’s biggest peeve with Bush is that he let him go..
RAM
My record is intact; I’ve never watched one of that idiot’s speeches during the all of the last eight years.
Just Some Fuckhead
@r€nato: Jenna, is that you?
South of I-10
I’m watching Spongebob. I’m pretty sure Spongebob has more intelligent things to say. I was pissed off for at least 36 hours after the press conference and I don’t see any reason to do that to myself when he will be gone so soon.
baldheadeddork
"Hey America, I broke the Hoover Dam."
Of course, no one could have seen this coming. Total fucking mystery.
Cain
Haven’t watched it yet. Getting a shot of whiskey, and then I’m going to watch it. Mind you, only one. Tomorrow is work day :-)
cain
r€nato
really? the one on monday?
i thought it was fantastic. It was President Pouty McBitterson in full effect. Great way to go out, that and the shoe-throwing incident.
If history regards Bush kindly, it will only be because either a mass epidemic of Alzheimer’s hit the planet or his brother Neil somehow finagled his way to the WH.
JL
Now might be a good time to plan our inaugural festivities.
The South Cobb High School Band will be marching in the parade and the Ron Clark Academy will be performing at several events.
Cain
Wait, is there a link to said broadcast?
cain
kg
renato @ 25 ftw.
Just Some Fuckhead
Terrist Geese took down a passenger flight. Does Danger Monkey have time to launch a war on fowl?
Laura W
@JL:
Earlier this evening I told a room full of employers (who are also friends) and co-workers that no, I did not want to drive an hour to their home to have a 5pm company meeting on Inauguration night and then enjoy dinner and ball watching with all of them and 4 dogs.
I’m a horrible liar, and very blunt when put on the spot, so I guess I was pretty un-diplomatic, let’s say.
Fuck it. I’m staying home, I’m drinking adult beverages (for the first time in weeks. Watch out. Drunk comments ahead), I’m sobbing, and I’m surfing the nets.
I make no promises about my condition when I conference call in to the meeting at 5pm.
What else shall we plan, JL?
PaulW
You don’t remember the others giving a farewell address because when they left they didn’t have 65 million Americans pushing them out the damn door. We were utterly content with their leaving, not paying them any mind because we knew they could depart with a minimum of fuss. With Bush the Lesser, we have to pay attention to what he says or does because for the love of God he could well end up causing another goddamn fiasco on the way out.
r€nato
well, there IS the matter of the last-minute presidential pardons.
that’s the last fuck you to the nation he’s got in store before he finally goes the fuck away.
bayville
@South of I-10
Yes Spongebob was a better choice. It was the one featuring the classic debate as to what creatures are better – land animals or water critters. (Spoiler Alert: Sandy the Squirrel gets the best of the Spongebob crew at the end).
P.S. It appears none of the intellects over at NRO watched President Whatshisname’s speech either. It’s now 40 minutes after and not one post yet on his farewell kiss to the country.
demkat620
@Laura W:
We must share a brain because that’s what I am doing too.
My couch, my champers, my laptop, and my dog.
Good times.
Balconespolitics
@Zuzu’s Petals:
"First, America must maintain our record of fiscal responsibility. Through our last four budgets we’ve turned record deficits to record surpluses, and we’ve been able to pay down $600 billion of our national debt–on track to be debt-free by the end of the decade for the first time since 1835. Staying on that course will bring lower interest rates, greater prosperity, and the opportunity to meet our big challenges."
Huh – so Clinton was saying that fiscal responsibility would keep interest rates low? Who’d have expected THAT to be wrong?
On the other hand, how’s that greater prosperity thing worked, W?
dmsilev
@baldheadeddork:
From January 2001, Bush: ‘Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over’
-dms
Ash Can
Crap in a hat, isn’t that asshole gone YET?
And r€nato, I’m going to go raise another Honker’s Ale, this one in your honor.
Augie
Just to be contrarian, I would honestly like to thank George W. Bush for NOT starting a war with Iran in the last 6 months, particularly those months that began after Obama won the presidency. You may think I’m joking, but at the beginning of 2008, I would have bet $500, and given you 2-1 odds, that Bush and Cheney would bunker bomb non-existent nuke sites in Iran just to commit the new president to an all-out Middle East War. I am legitimately thankful that this jerk didn’t leave us with the beginning of WWIII.
demimondian
Oh, come on, John. This is the second Most Important President since the one who gave this farewell address. Just ask him.
The Grand Panjandrum
If that fucker’s name was George Smith he would have spent his entire adult life wearing a paper hat and a name tag.
r€nato
it certainly wasn’t for a lack of trying.
There really is no telling what might have happened if, say, the invasion and occupation of Iraq had been carried out at least semi-competently.
…just as a reminder, upon entering the White House the Bush nat’l security team was itching for an eventual showdown with China. If there is any sort of silver lining to 9/11, it’s that it distracted them from instigating a truly epic disaster.
Laura W
@demkat620: I’m glad you got in on the edit because there is NO way I am going to share brian with you. I’m old-fashioned that way.
(But yes, couch, cats, dog, laptop, champagne. The rest we shall share.)
Incertus
@The Grand Panjandrum: And fucking up the orders because he couldn’t figure out how to run the drive-thru.
demkat620
@Laura W:
Come on over. I’m in PA. I’ll wave when you get close!
Cain
@Laura W:
You sure? Brian’s here at my place. I’d call him and find out where he’s really is. We’re eating marinated doberman with poodle sauce, squirrel cutlets with cat cider.. woohee!
It’s a redneck picnic over here in teh great northwest!
cain
Litlebritdifrnt
Question. Why were the founding fathers so hung up on Tuesdays? I mean election day is a Tuesday, Inauguration is a Tuesday, what the f**k is up with Tuesdays? Did they think that perhaps the historical "quietest day in the restaurant industry" should all of a sudden have significance in order to boost said restaurant industries sales? AND WHY IS IT NOT TUESDAY ALREADY! I am gonna get so drunk on Tuesday I would respectfully respect that everyone here completely and utterly ignore everything I type, from hello onwards. Thank you.
Just Some Fuckhead
I’d like to think we could denigrate our Catastrophe-in-Chief without casting aspersions on a particular group of people at the lower end of the wage scale. There is no shame in honest work.
Besides, Danger Monkey seems to possess the amoral qualities that are apparently necessary to achieve high income these days.
Incertus
@Cain: I don’t know what y’all are talking about. I’m sitting right here, trying to decide whether to treat my impending cold with medicine or the bottle of Black Bush I got for Christmas.
dmsilev
@Litlebritdifrnt:
Inauguration Day isn’t fixed to Tuesday, it’s fixed to January 20th, which happens to be a Tuesday this year. And that wasn’t the founding father’s plan either; they had it as March 4th, and it was changed in the 1930s by a Constitutional Amendment.
-dms
demkat620
@Incertus:
I think I took too much ambien to follow this any longer so, night, juicers. 5 am comes early around here.
JL
@Laura W: During the evening festivities, I will probably comment on the lovely dresses or something shallow. During the day, I will be on the sofa with Moxie, probably have some cheese and crackers nearby along with a box of kleenez. I’ll definitely make a trip to Trader Joe’s in the morning and buy a nice bottle of red wine.
kommrade reproductive vigor
Too busy weeping, checking the weapons cache, putting the finishing touches on their AngryscarydarkIslahomocommiefascist-proof bunkers …
Litlebritdifrnt
@dmsilev:
Well don’t I seem like a dumn f**k, my only excuse is that I am British, (that is also my best excuse and the lamest excuse)
Speaking of which why was it changed from March 4th to Jan 20, and why did they choose Jan 20? I am not being in the slightest snarky here, like I said I am British I want to learn. Is it Tuesday yet?
demimondian
@dmsilev: The lame duck amendment, fwiw, passed because of the terrible deterioration of the condition of the nation between election day, 1932, and inauguration day, 1933.
Yes, kids — America had to deal with FIVE MONTHS of a lame-duck Hoover administration.
demimondian
@Litlebritdifrnt: No irony please, we’re American.
Mike in NC
Don’t misunderestimate the Bush/Cheney crime syndicate. They still have 96 hours left to send a carrier strike group through the Strait of Hormuz.
demimondian
@Cain: Ermmm…Cain? Listen, dude. FDDD is from very pure Hillbilly stock. She’s an…er…redneck. And, for what it’s worth, my grandfather the astronomer was the first in my family to get to college; before that, my forebears were…ummm….dirt-poor dirt farmers from central Maine. That made them…errr….rednecks.
Bey
The beauty of the farewell address is that it was the worst of america sandwiched between the best of america. Coverage of the US Airways miracle has already completely overshadowed that pathetic sack of shit’s closing words.
Take that you attention whore.
Notorious P.A.T.
@baldheadeddork:
I have thought about that skit so many times during the past 8 years.
KRK
Does anyone know to what entity one would have had to donate in mid- to late-2008 to get a signed 8×10 glossy of George the Lesser’s smirking mug? The RNC? The Library? I would have thought that most of the official Republican swag would’ve been McCain stuff in 2008, but a picture of GWB showed up on a friend’s fridge in October ’08. I’m trying to figure out what hole he poured his money down.
D-Chance.
That’s going to leave a mark. JtP is no Ernie Pyle… we all know Michael Yon is (when he isn’t shilling for $$$).
Just Some Fuckhead
@Bey: America in metaphor, worst airplane disaster to start his presidency, miracle survival when he’s done.
demimondian
@Litlebritdifrnt: Due to the size of the country, the gap between election day and the day that the results could be certified was huge. Even in 1788, the US already comprised fourteen states, and ran from the tip of Maine in the north to the modern Florida-Georgia boundary. It was already one of the largest nations on Earth.
demimondian
@Bey: You know, this is going to be the first time in my life that I’m going to be honestly able to say that the wonderful thing that happened on a certain day was a plane crash.
Notorious P.A.T.
I think they put election day on Tuesday so people could have Sunday off, travel all day Monday to get to their polling place, and vote.
Litlebritdifrnt
@JL:
A big box of kleenex isn’t going to do it for me, I think an entire roll of Vivia paper towels is in order. When I think about the fact that I cried for a week after the election, that I cried at the NC Governor’s inauguration (no idea why) and I cry at silly commercials* I am thinking that Tuesday is going to result in me being a blubbering heap, for days, and days.
*The toys for tots one, where the Marine is on guard and the kid says "someone told me you were Santa Claus" and he presses his "list" into the Marine’s gloved hand and the Marine clasps it and the kid says "you are Santa Claus"* I am absolutely unable to function after seeing that.
South of I-10
@Renato: You would think I wouldn’t let this crap get to me anymore. But his comments about Katrina pissed me off. I have friends who lost everything in Katrina. It scarred them. I’ve typed and deleted about 6 responses now, so let’s just say I was in LA and witnessed a lot. All levels of government failed, but the federal response sucked.
I loved your post at 25.
Notorious P.A.T.
Right now I sure wish we had a parliamentary system like you guys. Bush would be long gone.
dmsilev
@Litlebritdifrnt:
Wikipedia has a good article on the subject. To make a long story short, the original 5 month delay between election and inauguration made sense in a pre-railroad era. When the 5 months were Herbert Hoover doing nothing during the beginnings of the Great Depression, it makes a bit less sense.
The new Congress is sworn in just after New Years, and the 20th gives them a bit of time to get organized before the Presidential term switches.
-dms
Laura W
@Just Some Fuckhead: You got game tonight, Fuckhead.
Bush as Muse.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Laura W: Blush. It was Bey that noticed it.
new day rising
I didn’t watch. What for?
Which leads me to consider: How do I divide up what happens Tuesday? What part goes to celebrating Obama becoming President and what part goes to saying good riddance to that evil, depressing man and his rotted administration?
Bey
My hat’s off to New Yorkers. When the shit hits the fan, they don’t hesitate to jump in harms way and start the rescuing.
stickler
Well, all, not to be a buzzkill and everything, but rumor has it the birds that took down the airliner were … CANADA GEESE.
Ottawa had better be battening down the hatches, ’cause Preznit Chucklenuts just might be having a "54-40 or Fight" episode this weekend. Canada might be getting its own Coalition Provisional Authority by Monday afternoon.
Laura W
@Just Some Fuckhead: Hey now, it was you who drew the arc back to 9/11, right modest guy?
Plus, I was giving you retroactive affirm points for the Jenna crack.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Laura W: You see right through me.
Cain
@Incertus:
Dammit, caught like a rat. Come over. :-) Don’t have any dogs to cook though.. and it’s always tea for colds. Nothing else works better IMHO!
cain
kommrade reproductive vigor
Now that JSF has won the internons, I hope he’ll still let us play on them.
Taylor
stickler@85: I am thinking of Hamilton as the new Stalingrad.
At least the Canadian resentment of Americans will be out in the open.
gex
@Litlebritdifrnt: Tuesday events allowed Monday for a day of travel. Sunday was a day of worship, and I believe Thursday was market day. That’s how an NPR piece explained why we vote on Tuesday.
Just Some Fuckhead
@kommrade reproductive vigor: Gah! Everyone here is a winner. Sparkles, sunshine, starbursts and unicorns for everyone.
Just Some Fuckhead
@gex: If Thursday was market day, then Friday, everyone stayed home, Saturday, everyone had roast beef, Sunday, everyone had none and Monday, everyone went wee wee wee wee all the way home. So it does appear that Tuesday was available for voting.
Montysano
What a tiny little man Bush is. We’re in this global meltdown, everyone is freaked out, and all he can manage are platitudes and delusional self-praise.
Meanwhile, BO has stepped up to the plate like the serious adult he is. I thought it telling that there was very little carping (from either side of the aisle) about his dinner w/the conservative pundits. He told us he was going to do it. He got busy. He did it. With style.
Ash Can
@stickler:
Assuming anyone’s minding the goddamn store up there right now.
Cain
@demimondian:
No offense to rednecks across the world. I love you guys. I come from a family of ex-rednecks until one of them turned to a lawyer. Then it all went to hell.
cain
Litlebritdifrnt
@gex:
If I was queen of the universe voting day would be Saturday, ya know when most people are off work, but then that is me. Tuesday is a nice day, but come on, putting the outcome of an election based upon "market day" which doesn’t happen anymore is kind of silly don’t ya think? (And I am assuming that the UK does exactly the same thing so yeah, they are stoopid too).
TheAssInTheHatOnMyCat(Formerly Comrade Tax Analyst)
This part of a comment line caught my eye…I’m sorry, but I’m such a very sick puppy sometimes.
LanceThruster
It was hard not to scream at the radio what a lying POS Shrub is and as the Unitary Transportation Commanderator (vanpool driver), it would have been my every right to do so.
Instead, I just grumbled like Lurch à la The Addams Family.
demimondian
@Taylor: Hamilton? How about a nicer part of Canada…say, North Downsview, or maybe Sudbury?
Laura W
@TheAssInTheHatOnMyCat(Formerly Comrade Tax Analyst): It was inevitable. I’m surprised it took so long.
I’d rather watch balls for 24 hours straight than attend any kind of function with those untrained, annoying, disruptive dogs in attendance again.
Don’t get me started on the dogs.
Face
George Bush is a very nice man.
gex
@Litlebritdifrnt: Oh I agree absolutely. What made sense in an agrarian society has been increasingly taken advantage of as a means to disenfranchise voters who have to work on Tuesdays and can’t stand in line for hours on end. Oregon has by far the best system in the States – they vote by mail and with the ballot you get a booklet on the individuals who are on the ballot. Fill it out when you have time, post it by a certain deadline, easy as cake.
TheAssInTheHatOnMyCat(Formerly Comrade Tax Analyst)
Travel and weather considerations. One did not hop a super-jet from wherever to Washington D.C in the day of the Founding Father’s. Getting to the Inauguration generally required one or more horses and your ass in a saddle or in a buggy, and travelling to D.C. in January was often quite difficult due to the weather. After all, you really don’t want your brand-new President-elect to die of pneumonia in February of his first term.
demimondian
@gex: Absolutely. In fact, even the most solid of the defenders of the importance of "election day" (say, Adam B over at GOS) changed his mind as he watched the day progress. Permanent absentee just makes more sense.
TheAssInTheHatOnMyCat(Formerly Comrade Tax Analyst)
Suggested solution: Make Monday the "Good riddance to the evil, depressing monkey-man and his rotted administration".
Then celebrate the living-fuck out of Tuesday.
PS – I don’t know why this program doesn’t heed my strike-thru coding anymore…sigh…
Just Some Fuckhead
@Laura W: For me, you and Jake.
Laura W
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Dancing in our sleepy clothes
With
twothree big smiles and a bowl of hope!Comrade Jake
I suppose there’s some justice that on the last night of the train wreck that is Bush’s presidency, the nets are all covering a plane crash.
TheAssInTheHatOnMyCat(Formerly Comrade Tax Analyst)
Yeah, and the canines are a pain in the ass, too.
The Dangerman
Are you shitting me? Is Dipshit’s nickname really "Danger Monkey". Fuck, that means I need a new handle; I had no idea (I’m nearly as clueless as Bush is).
Given his nickname, do I have permission to slap him repeatedly?
Comrade Darkness
@Comrade Jake, should we take hope then in everyone surviving? Qualified pilot saves the day as much as possible under the circumstances. Everyone is happy because they realize it could have been much much worse?
Captain Obama
Bush cronies==birds
belledame222
I was hoping John Bolton would follow Bush Jr’s exit by screaming and throwing flaming staplers at everybody.
For a second, I read this as Michael Bolton. Which would also be rather awesome.
TenguPhule
The List:
George Bush’s entire speech from the moment he opened his mouth to when he mercifully closed it.
End.
TenguPhule
We can fire Rove through a Jet Engine to see if the Engine survives?
chris mohr
UNFORTUATELY this isn’t really quite true, so long as the wingnuts have four US Supreme Court Justices in their back pocket, and half of a fifth sometimes (Justice Kennedy)…consider the egregiously bad fourth amendment case handed down just yesterday, and that when Kennedy decides to throw in his vote with the four troglydites, neither is any other civil right or freedom safe from erosion.
UNFORTUNATELY, nothing will be truly safe as a matter of constitutional right until one of those four evil fucktards croaks and we are fortunate enough to have a progressive-minded President to appoint his successor, and a supportive-enough Senate to confirm him or her.
Fern
@Ash Can:
No one is.
Brick Oven Bill
"In the face of threats from abroad, it can be tempting to seek comfort by turning inward. But we must reject isolationism and its companion, protectionism." –President Bush tonight
This is wrong. People say:
“Oh, but isolationism made the Great Depression worse.”
Perhaps, but this is because America was the WORLD’S LARGEST EXPORTER IN THE 1930s. America is now the WORLD’S LARGEST IMPORTER. In contrast to America, tariffs benefited England during the Great Depression, and their GNP only dropped 5%. England weathered the Great Depression as a small recession.
Protectionism would drive the industrial base back to America, and create solid jobs. I heard Fred Thompson trumpet the same line, and now know that he is part of the same cabal. There is (used to be) massive money to be made by replacing $20/hr jobs here with $2/day jobs there, and then breaking the dollar’s back and creating Central America-North.
This is one reason I beat the HBD drum and smart electorate drum. Selling the New World Order is dependent upon the theory that we can lift all of the world’s people to American standards of living, when all of the data says otherwise. This is all about greed and concentrating wealth.
Comrade Kevin
@Incertus:
Black Bush is nice stuff. Bushmills is also a great place to visit.
JGabriel
@TheAssInTheHatOnMyCat(Formerly Comrade Tax Analyst):
Because the coding for strikethrough is (strike) and (/strike).
I think a lot of people are hitting the "s" button in the formatting bar, and that just codes a (s) and (/s) – don’t know why, or what they’re supposed to do. But if you want a strikethrough, spell it out.
Like this: (strike)strike-through text(/strike)
Which, if done correctly, should give you this:
strike-through text(As usual, replace parentheses with less-than and greater-than brackets.)
.
scarshapedstar
He kept saying something about being the President, for starters.
Wile E. Quixote
@demimondian
There’s one of those billboards by my house that has a picture of a sad looking woman on it and that says "I regret having my abortion". I’ve always wanted to put up a billboard of my own that has a picture of Barbara Bush and Dubya on it that has a caption under Bab’s picture saying "I regret not having an abortion."
Wile E. Quixote
@Incertus
Hmmmm, Black Bush. Your ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter. I don’t have any Black Bush around but I did receive a bottle of Tullamore Dew from a kind colleague. Do you think they’re medicinally equivalent? Perhaps NyQuil should forget about the nasty green and red syrups they use for delivering the active ingredients and instead come out with a single malt or a good blend.
Wile E. Quixote
@Litlebritdifrnt
If I were queen of the universe election day would be on a Thursday in August and would be a state and federal holiday. The next day would also be a state and federal holiday and would be used for counting votes and recovering from election party hangovers. Any employer who required his employees to work on either day would be required to pay double overtime. This would have several advantages, it would foster participation in the electoral system by individuals who have difficulty taking time off to go to go to a polling place, it would shorten the campaign season by three months and it would give us a four day weekend in August.
Wile E. Quixote
Oh, and if I were queen of the universe I would also make Inauguration Day the third Friday after the first Monday in January and make it a state and federal holiday. Hey, what the Hell, an extra three day weekend every four years isn’t going to cause the economy to collapse.
Urbaniak
Instapundit reader: Thank you President Bush, for landing that plane safely today in the Hudson River.
jonas
What I want to know is, what kind of person out there listens to a speech like that and thinks "why we’re just so fortunate to have this man as our leader." I mean really. You really need to be studied in a controlled environment so we can better understand how a grown person finds it acceptable to be talked at with a cadence and range of imagery that suggests they are developmentally challenged six year olds. Ok, anyone besides K-Lo?
Delia
I believe that Canada is safe from our anti-terrorist forces. Stephen Harper is a Bush mini-me. If the Canadian Parliament had been able to pull off its no-confidence vote last year they might be in real trouble now.
WestVirginiaRebel
El Cid:
"I don’t think he was ever here. I think he was just a bad dream we all had."-Hawkeye, referring to a vanished Colonel Flagg, on MASH
Seriously, this is a surreal feeling…as someone who still considers himself an honest-to-God conservative, it feels strange watching this "Most Bestest Consequential President EVAH" as the Sean Hannitys and Hugh Hewitts of the world have called him, riding off into the sunset with what I can only call a disturbing disconnect with the reality of his record versus the facts. He quite frankly looked like a guy trying to put his game face on and not realizing that he lost the game quite a while ago.
Crawford is calling, George. Don’t let the door hit ya on the way out.
trollhattan
Goddamnit, Arnold in the a.m. and now Chimpers McChimpstein in the p.m. It’s like being the guest patty in a roadkill burger, having to listen to these two windbags the same day.
I’ve been chanting "January 20, 2009" to myself for two years, without any inkling of who’d be taking charge. Given the rather frightening possibilities, it seems like it will turn out pretty well. Too bad he’ll be entering a burning building on day 1.
Michael Gass
I don’t think we should be critical without offering suggestions. So, here are my suggestions:
On God –
First of all, understand that your religious leaders aren’t the most stable people. When a "religious leader" claims that unless people give him (Oral Roberts – 1987) $8 million dollars, or, that God would "call him home", didn’t you stop to think that it might be better if you weren’t associated as being part of that crowd that gave him $9.1 million dollars? Or how about the "religious leader" that claimed that natural disasters are caused by God to punish the gays (Pat Robertson – 2005)? That didn’t make you think that he might be a little bat-shit crazy since that means that every state on the Gulf of Mexico and east coast must be full of gay people since hurricanes hit those states every hurricane season? Even James Dobson ran from the whole "let’s de-gay Ted Haggard" debacle, another "religious leader" who took his congregation for a ride.
I get it. You are proud of your beliefs. There are many people who have beliefs, they simply don’t see the need to not only wear it on their sleeves for all to see, but, to try and cram them down another persons throat, by force of turning them into laws if they can get away with it. So, here are some helpful suggestions for you;
1) If you want everyone to know you believe in God, that is fine by me. For $2.00 you can buy a can of spray paint and stencil "I love God" on your car, just don’t expect me to fund you having your very own license plate with my tax dollars.
2) If you want to go to your church to "hear the word", that is fine with me. But, if you feel like you have to chase people down at their workplace and homes in order to "get the word out" because nobody comes to your church don’t get your knickers in a bunch when you get told to go "Cheney yourself". If we wanted to hear it, we’d have come to your church.
3) If kids in school wish to say a silent prayer to their God, that is fine with me. When you try to mandate that every kid be taught the Bible because they don’t come to church anymore, don’t get pissed off when someone decides to hijack your church time by forcing you to learn Economics 101. If parents wanted their kids to learn the Bible, guess what, they’d be in Sunday School.
4) I understand that you are sexually repressed and it pisses you off that there are people who aren’t as screwed up about sex as you. That is why you feel the need to dictate to everyone how they can have sex, with whom, how, and have tried repeatedly to ban the sale of sex toys. If you want to believe that a man’s… thing… is only supposed to go into the woman’s… thing… and only to make babies, that is fine with me. Kindly remove your voyeuristic, jealousy driven self from my bedroom. It’s the people who publically cry about the sex others are having that aren’t getting any at home.
On Marriage –
I understand that you believe that marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman. We get it. Unfortunately, you haven’t really done your homework on this one. If you have read your Bible, you know that Abraham, David, and Gideon all had several wives and/or concubines. Yes, we know, you wish to say that there are "some things" that are outdated, but, others you choose aren’t, like, homosexually being a sin. Mighty nice of you to pick and choose which things in the Bible don’t apply and which still do for us. So, here are my suggestions regarding marriage;
1) If your marriage to a person of the opposite sex is bad, so be it. Try to be a better husband.
2) If you wish to try and put your marriage troubles on gays being married, try this exercise; for a year, before you go to bed, check your entire house for a gay or lesbian couple which might be hiding in it and secretly sabotaging your marriage. If after a year you don’t find any gays in your house, you can pretty well bet your marriage woes are of your own making.
3) If your marriage is in the dumps due to a poor sex life, you might think about buying some of those sex toys you keep trying to have banned. Use the internet to get them. The company will ship the package to you plainly wrapped so you don’t have to be seen in a sex toy store and your neighbors will never know as you campaign to get that local sex shop closed down.
On Gays/Lesbians –
Look, we all know that men fantasize about two women having sex. For that matter, all men fantasize about being in the middle of that sandwich. There isn’t a man out there who has pornography that doesn’t include two women. What pisses you off about lesbians is that they scorn you for being a man. As for gay men, you simply go "ick!" and try not to think about it. Fine, don’t think about it. In fact, I doubt there is a gay couple out there who really cares if you go "ick!" or not, and, they surely don’t want you thinking about them. So, here are my suggestions;
1) If you are afraid that gays will turn your child into a gay one day — don’t. I have yet to have a gay man come to my house preaching the goodness of being gay. I wish I couuld say the same for those who come to my door to preach their religion since I so rudely didn’t go to their church.
2) If you think that being gay is a choice, then do please look inside yourself and decide when it was that you chose not to be gay. Did you actually try it and not like it, or, did you simply decide it wasn’t for you? The busy bodies at your church would surely like to know; nobody else cares.
3) If you find a gay man repulsive to even look at, that is fine. Unfortunately for you the women look at gay men and drool. Why? The majority of gay men stay in shape. They work out. They take care of their bodies. So, I can understand why you hate them. Gay men have all the women longing for them instead of you with your pot-belly, flabby buttocks, and man breasts. Try the gym and a diet.
On Guns –
Yes, we know that real men hunt Bambi with a bazooka. We get it. If you can’t use a bazooka to kill a deer, than suddenly, that handgun you own is the next thing you will lose. Name me the hunting lodge where they stock fully automatic weapons for hunting. Here are my suggestions;
1) While it may be mentally pleasing to be seen as the manly hunter, all dressed in camoflage, face painted up, and your body spread with deer urine so they can’t smell you, it isn’t so manly when you have to hide up a tree to bag a deer. If you wish to hunt like a man, then do it as the hunters of old did it — naked with a spear.
2) Every type of hunting has specific weapons used for it. I’ve never seen anyone hunt quail with double-A anti-aircraft guns. If you think bigger is better and if you can’t have bigger you can’t the less you have, then by all means, go try to hunt quail with an elephant gun and see how many quail you bag before your shoulder gives out. Until then, just shut the hell up about how if you can’t hunt using a bazooka, the liberals will take away all your guns. You wouldn’t hunt quail long using an elephant gun anyway and we all know it.
3) You want to keep an arsenal in your house as a "just in case". I get it. Everyone is scared these days, what with cops kicking in the wrong door at 3 in the morning, I mean, with all the home invasions happening. But, in reality, if you are a responsible gun owner, you keep your guns locked up with trigger locks. So, at three in the morning, you are going to wake up to someone invading your home, ask them to kindly wait as you get out of bed, open your gun safe, take off the trigger locks, and arm yourself? I don’t think so as neither cops nor criminals are going to give you that time. It’s best if you just quit bitching about how you need the arsenal of automatic weapons for home defense, you’ll never get the chance to use them.
On Illegal Immigrants –
Ok, we get it. People want to come to America so they can feed their families and everyone should enter the United States in an orderly and lawful manner. There isn’t a person out there who will disagree with you. Unfortunately, the reality here is that people do come to America illegally, they are here already, and there is nothing you, nor your politician, can do to change that fact. So, here are my suggestions;
1) The next time you take that trip abroad for a vacation, be sure to learn the local language and not expect everyone there to speak English. That would be darn hypocritical of you. You want to see the pyramids, learn Arabic. You want to see the castles of Germany, learn German. You want to sample the beaches in Mexico, learn Spanish.
2) We know that you are pissed off that people who might make 2 American dollars a week in Mexico would want to come to America so they can earn $5.00 an hour for work, and, come to America illegally to do it. If you are that pissed off, then go apply for those $5/hr jobs and put them out of work. If you won’t work for less than $12/hr, then shut the hell up that somebody else will do it.
3) We get it that you think that these illegal immigrants are siphoning your tax dollars in welfare. Fortunately for you, you have never had to try and get welfare or you’d know that to qualify you have to give up your first born, a pint of blood, provide references that will confirm just how poor you are, and, have 3 different forms of identification (drivers license, voter identification card and passports accepted). Now, think of how many illegal immigrants are actually applying for a voter registration card and a passport. As for a drivers license, guess how many illegal immigrants have those? Before you start bitching about how many illegal immigrants are using welfare, try to get on welfare yourself and see what it takes.
4) Ok, so, your answer to the whole illegal immigration issue is to simply build a great big wall on the border. Great idea. It’s never been done before. In fact, there is not one nation on this earth that has a great big wall to keep people out, unless, you forget China. Unless you are going to man that wall, it keeps no one out. Unless those who man it are going to shoot and kill everyone who tries crossing the border, it will keep no one out. Turkey does that. Russia does, or did, that (not sure which now). And, few if anyone wanted into their country! That barbed wire fence that they were building on the border? Pathetic. It wouldn’t keep cattle in, much less people out. Oh, and shooting people in the United States? That’s illegal. I know, it sucks being a nation of laws doesn’t it. So, you come up with a way to get 20 million illegal residents out of the United States legally and keep the future illegal immigrants out lawfully. Nobody has managed to do it since the United States was founded.
On Abortion –
You are the "pro-life" person. You believe life begins at conception and abortion is murder. We get it. So here are my suggestions;
1) If murder, even of an unborn fetus, is bad, quit bombing abortion clinics. It’s murder, and, terrorism.
2) If a woman shouldn’t have the right to chose for herself whether to have an abortion, who should? If you believe government should be smaller and intrude less on a person’s rights, why are you explicitly wanting government to intrude on this one? My suggestion here is that anyone who thinks the government should have the right to decide a persons mating habits and the fate of an unborn child, then extend that to both sexes under the Equality clause. Men, you need to let the government decide when you get snipped. If you can’t do that, or won’t, then shut the hell up about a woman’s womb.
3) If you are so "pro-life", why do you want a bazooka to hunt deer? Why are you calling those who wish to save the whales pussies? Or, do you simply believe that some lives are more important than others? If you won’t support life for, well, all life, why do you believe that anyone should take you seriously? My suggestion is, if you want to be "pro-life" then be it; support the "save the whales" program, support the "save the dolphin" program, support the "save the rain forest" program. In fact, I move that you support move to "save the sperm" and outlaw masturbation as well. Sperm are alive, too.
On Hypocrisy –
It’s not like the GOP isn’t stocked full of hypocrites. You have Larry "I’m not gay, I simply have a wide stance" Craig who is against homosexuality. You have David "I love prostitutes" Vitter who champions family values. You have George W. "I haven’t met an unlawful enemy combatant I wouldn’t torture" Bush who proclaims "America doesn’t torture". You have Mark "I love young boys but I’m not a gay pedophile" Foley who had sexual communications with boys, nay, male congressional pages, under the age of 18 over the internet in violation of federal law.
I mean, come on, you voted for these people! Repeatedly! Ted Stevens was a convicted felon in Alaska and he STILL almost won that election AFTER his conviction! You surely ARE the Party of law and order! His supporters supported law and order so much, they voted for a convicted felon to represent them! Enough said on being hypocrites.
On the Rule of Law –
How can I even touch this one? Voted for a convicted felon in Ted Stevens? Supporting torture even though federal laws and international laws have made torture illegal. Supported the commutation of the sentence of Scooter Libby in outing a CIA operative, an act of treason during wartime that could have earned him the death sentence. Puh-lease. My suggestions are:
1) If lying to Congress about a blowjob is an offense that deserved 24/7 media coverage, and yet, even Republican’s wouldn’t convict Bill Clinton in the Senate, then outing a CIA operative during war should be a no-brainer. Look at hypocrisy for your suggestion here. In case you can’t figure it out, my suggestion is; don’t be a hypocrite simply because it is "your guy". Duh.
Ok, so, this is an exercise in futility as the average GOP supporter has the IQ of a blade of grass, but hey, I am offering suggestions instead of merely criticism.
Anne D.
I read all the responses and kept laughing to the end. #43 Paul W – I agree, I have never felt such relief/anxiety that a president was leaving like this time. #68 Mike NC – That one made me laugh the most. Unfortunately he’s got time to pull it off.
moe99
If the war in Gaza is not a stalking horse for war with Iran, I’ll eat my hat.
BruceK
@Michael Gass:
May I quote you extensively?
Back on topic, I am so glad that His High Royal and Imperious Shrubliness’ farewell speech took place at three in the morning, local time, when I was safely in dreamland doing more enjoyable things (specifically: being chased by nameless horrors that wanted to suck my brain out through my nose).
(Actually, I didn’t dream at all last night, and oblivion is so much more enjoyable than watching His Shrubliness speak that it’s not even funny.)
(Oh, and a parallel to the whole marriage debate: I can’t stand raw tomatoes. Can’t stand their taste or their texture. They squick me out. Let’s outlaw them. I don’t care if you enjoy a nice fresh BLT or a club sandwich. I hate ’em, so they’re evil.)
Conservatively Liberal
OT:
You know what else is heartening to see? I was checking out the dingleberries that hang around the sphincter called RedState and while I have observed recently that it is becoming a ghost town I notice that it is even more pronounced now. I am expecting to see tumbleweeds rolling through there any day.
John has fifteen posts on the front page, RedState has twenty on theirs. On BJ there are now a total of 1,003 responses to the fifteen posts. On RS there are 110 responses to their twenty posts. If RedState keeps this up they are going to have to merge with the PUMA, Freepers and Hillaryis44 crazies to pump up their numbers.
Maybe they can get some more fringers to join them and they can call their new blog "Sybil Online".
AnneLaurie
I’m half afraid he’s saving that for next Tuesday morning, after the parade has started and before the Secret Service pries Cheney’s fingers off the desk at the Undisclosed Location. Authorizing a nuk-a-lherr attack on Venezuela for lending aid & comfort to the enemy (namely, Joe Kennedy) is the sort of last minute bird-flipping our C-Plus Augustus would find spiritually fulfilling. On the other hand, I don’t think even the Mormon SSers trust Dubya with the *real* nuclear codes any more.
Also, to the list of those grateful for Commander Codpiece’s bottomless well of self-pity must be added Deval Patrick, the governor of Massachusetts. His annual State-of-the-State speech (scheduled long before the DC narcissism alert) drew a lot less hatred from the local network news because what attention they could spare from pictures of the bird-vs-plane attack was devoted to contrasting the jubilant mood of people preparing for the inaugural parade with Dubya’s sniveling.
Tattoosydney
@new day rising:
I’m thinking that the first five minutes after I see Bush on that stage are devoted to imagining how horrible it must be to be him, standing on that stage with that tiny voice in his head, which (despite his formidable powers of reality denial) is saying "Almost the entire country is overjoyed that that black man over there is taking your job, Georgie."
Then the rest of the day is devoted to celebrating, and not even noticing that Bush exists.
Roza Hussein
You couldn’t pay me enough to watch the lying POS
Just go already
J.
Alas, poor W. He arrived at the White House a Bush in all its glory and leaves a tumbleweed, separated from that which sustained him for eight years, to aimlessly roam the steppes of Texas. So long tumbling tumbleweed. You shall not be missed, though your seeds will linger on.
"The end of an error." — Ted, New Jersey
harlana pepper
Five-hundred years from now, historians will understand and appreciate his vision and sacrifice, you ungrateful plebes! Won’t you feel silly then!
RememberNovember
Clinton’s farewell speech.
abcnews.go.com/Politics/story?id=122026&page=1
Dan
That is a weird coincidence that renato @ 25 mentions fatherly abuse. As I listened to Bush, it sounded to me like an abusive father addressing his kids at a sentencing hearing. Did I do everything right? Maybe not, but I did it for you. I was trying to protect you. I was trying to make you stronger. You’ll realize that someday.
Screamin' Demon
Several presidents have given farewell addresses, but I liked Nixon’s best: "I shall resign the presidency effective at noon tomorrow."
JohnR
It’s odd, but now I can sort of understand how so many people feel about Mr. Clinton. I can’t even hear that loathsome whiny voice of Bush’s without a feeling of physical nausea. And that smug smirk just makes me glad I don’t watch any TV to speak of so I don’t encounter it much. What a revolting little man he is. I can’t even feel any pity for him. And I rather like Pat Buchanan, and find Mike Huckabee fairly sensible on many issues. Bush could give me my life-long dream and I would still find it very hard not to throw it back in his face and spit in his eye. And the fools that voted for him, not once but twice? I have no sympathy for them – it was clear in 1999 what kind of little piss-ant he is, and they just decided that he was who they wanted him to be. I left the Republican Party because it had become the party of faith-based lemmings and minor-league fascists, and there was no room in it for anyone who thought rationally or who had more self-respect than lust for Mammon. Even now, do you really think that America won’t elect another Bush in a heartbeat? Mr. Obama only got elected because Mr. McCain and Mrs. Palin were simply too blatantly scary as a team to put in the White House. Replace McCain with the Mormon Prince or Mrs. Palin with Joe "Mensch-of-Mensches" Lieberman, and I make it about 10:1 that we would have a Republican getting ready to take the oath.