Velociraptors climbed trees, presumably to ambush prey by pouncing on their heads. Oy.
***Update***
by Tim F| 48 Comments
This post is in: Science & Technology, WTF?
Velociraptors climbed trees, presumably to ambush prey by pouncing on their heads. Oy.
***Update***
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Legalize
Clever girls.
chopper
you lie!
oof, sorry. just a..natural reaction. my emotions get the best of me when YOU LIE!
Scuffletuffle
Better a velociraptor on your head than a Republican by your (sick) bed…
Ash
No, seriously, ever since I first saw Jurassic Park when I was like 9, I’ve had recurring nightmares about velociraptors. That’s 14 YEARS of nightmares about those freaking things sneaking into my bedroom and biting my head off.
Yet I still watch it every damn time it’s on tv.
Morbo
The velociraptor is perched 18 m directly above your head. It weighs 16 kg. How much kinetic energy does it have when its claws strike your head at 2 m above the ground? Assume it is using only gravity on impact.
The Grand Panjandrum
Paging Mr. Munroe. Mr Munroe …
Origuy
Oh, what Gary Larsen could do with that!
Woodrowfan
yeah, but if you remember Calvin and Hobbes you remember that the T-Tex had frigging F-16s!!! What’s worse?! HUH!?! raptors in trees of T-Rex’s with advanced fighter aircraft!! HUH? HUH?
Ash
This also throws the Jesus Raptor theory into a tailspin.
PaulW
Oh, great. Here comes another Jurassic Park movie!
“Jurassic Park IV: Treehouse of DOOM”
PaulW
@Morbo:
Morbo: the correct answer is ZOMFGRUN !!!1!!1!
PaulW
I just noticed I can’t use “!!!” (three exclamation points in a row) on this reply field. What should I use to exclaim ZOMFG in extra emphasis?
JGabriel
PaulW:
ZOMFG!
.
Calming Influence
Oh My GOD! That’s exactly how I attack my prey!
Just goes to show there’s nothing new under the sun…
KG
it’s a shame xkcd only publishes three times a week. somedays, xkcd and texts from last night are all that can get me through the day.
JGabriel
@Morbo:
Isn’t that about the size of a big goose? Are you saying that Velociraptors are smaller than shown in Jurassic Park?
I can’t believe Hollywood lied to me!
.
JGabriel
Velociraptor in a tree
>c
o
|
^
Joe Wilson
.
Evinfuilt
@JGabriel:
Velociraptors are a lot smaller than in the movie, but shortly after the movie came out a discovery was made in Utah, a much larger family member (movie size) which gained the name Utahraptor.
ellaesther
@Ash: Not to, you know, step in where I am not wanted, but, you might want to consider that if you were to stop watching the movie, the movie-inspired nightmares will eventually stop as well. I know that the farther I get in the time-space continuum from my last Geometry class, the fewer nightmares I have about missing the test….
Just, as they say, sayin’.
Morbo
@JGabriel: Probably had feathers, too. Damn Hollywood. Actually looking on Wikipedia, there are a whole lot of species in the velociraptor’s family. They probably modeled it after one of the other ones but realized that velociraptor is just 10 times cooler sounding than any of the other ones.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
Evil dino-squirrels.
ellaesther
@PaulW: I LOL-ed at this, oh yes indeed, I did!
Woodrowfan
no wonder Jesus killed them off!
Colette
xkcd to the rescue:
http://xkcd.com/154/
Take that, Senator Dingleberry!
SpotWeld
In other news Randall Monroe has built a kite powered version of DaVinci armored “tank” vechicle.
As of reporting his replies have been muffled and out research staff is still checking wikipedia to get the joke.
Terri
Had a roommate like this once. Had big ass feet to crush you with, big ass teeth to tear the flesh from the bones of her enemies, but tiny,tiny little hands when it came to cleaning the house we all shared.
anonevent
How awesome is it that when someone develops a new theory about how Velociraptors hunted, everyone tries to think of how you are going to draw it in your next cartoon?
jurassicpork
I thought I’d heard it all when I first read of Wal-Mart taking out life insurance policies on employees. The policies were privately called “dead peasant’s insurance.” Then from Greg Palast I heard about vulture fund managers who buy up national debts then take Third World nations to court and sue them for the full amount of the debt. However, pure human evil always has the resourcefulness to surprise to spelunk to new levels of moral putrescence. And just when you think you’re heard the ultimate in corporate sociopathic greed, you read about something like this…
Those are your latter-day velociraptors…
TheFountainHead
@KG: I’ll drink to that.
Zam
I bet they are still hiding up there. If we could just find them it would prove Jesus was magic.
TheFountainHead
This fits in nicely with the theory that they evolved wings and became birds, no? I mean, once you’re climbing trees AND you have feathers, what’s left but an (almost) unfortunate fall?
anonevent
@TheFountainHead: So the raptors read Douglas Adams?
Sue
Ash, you’re right – I’m still trying to figure out how the TRex in my last nightmare got into my upstairs hallway.
Dream On
They sound so vicious that I suppose it’s a good thing there wasn’t enough room for them on Noah’s Arc…
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
@Dream On:
Noah kicked them off after they jumped off the rafters and ate the world’s last two unicorns.
R-Jud
@Terri:
And that’s exactly where we’re heading in this country.
(But seriously, that was hilarious.)
freelancer
@Scruffy McSnufflepuss:
Or. Did the raptors mate with the unicorns?
http://atheistmovies.blogspot.com/2009/01/family-guy-noahs-ark.html
cleek
there was actually a huge family of critters, of all different sizes, which all fit the basic raptor body plan.
my dromaeosaur for example, was about the size of a Labrador retriever.
Punchy
Noah’s Arc
This typo cracked me up. Sounds like some special chunk of a population circle graph that represents wingtards, bible bangers, and perhaps animal lovers…
Corner Stone
@ellaesther:
I think it’s more than clear by now that time doesn’t exist at all, or rather, doesn’t exist except as a concept we humans created because our tinly little brains are too small to experience everything all at once.
On the whole, we’re much happier when we can explain things, and linear movement (or continuum if you prefer) is the easiest answer to something we just can’t understand.
So in some sense what I’m saying is that you’re still taking that geometry test right now.
slag
If a velociraptor and a squirrel got into a fight, my money would be on the squirrel.
ChrisB
@slag: Yes but that’s because velociraptors have been extinct for millions of years.
Put me up against the T Rex in the Museum of Natural History and I’d kick its butt too.
It’s like Ty Cobb who, long after he retired, said that he could hit .300 against the pitchers of the day. When asked why he would hit only .300, he famously answered, “you’ve got to remember, I’m 73 years old.”
HyperIon
@anonevent: How awesome is it that when someone develops a new theory about how Velociraptors hunted, everyone tries to think of how you are going to draw it in your next cartoon?
Not that awesome IMO.
ellaesther
@Corner Stone: So late back to be saying this, but:
bwahahaha!
Xanthippas
Time to remake Jurassic Park.
BTW, I’m rediscovering my love of dinosaurs through my four-year old. I gotta say, it’s a damn shame that none of us has ever seen an actual dinosaur, and we should do everything in our power to remedy that.
Bony Baloney
Wolverines have been observed hunting deer by laying out a trail of bait, climbing a tree, and waiting. They’re not extinct. Wolverines ARE Hannibal Lecter on four legs, they’re notorious cage breakers, and if a human being opens a wolverine habitat without putting on field plate armor and gassing the animal first, well, bad things happen. Ever seen a wolverine exhibit at a zoo? A legal zoo?
Fanged ostriches two feet tall just ain’t in it, old boy.
Jay K.
Next on Animal Planet: Drop bears v. drop raptors.
Gravity flying fun