One of my favorite pics (even though it is blurry):
And a late night walk with the backup leash:
I love the fact that there is no dignity when we are together. Just a straight up love affair, and to hell with the rest of you. And with that, I am going back to bed. With my dog and cat, of course.
jl
“and to hell with the rest of you.”
Uh, we were aware of that sentiment. but thanks for remembering your humble minions. All I have to say is that I like Tunch The Cat and Lily The Dog better than ol’ man Cole that cranky ol’ soul, who keeps yelling at us to get off his lawn. And I am rubber and you are glue, too.
Glad the dawg survived the Tunchswipe-a-nator, and looks no worse for wear.
Steeplejack
I’ve said it before, Cole, but Lily is the spitting image of Daisy, the Mississippi trash hound my younger brother had as a kid. He came home from school one day claiming she had followed him home, and she became an integral part of the household for something like 10 years. And we already had another dog, a miniature dachshund that was spoiled rotten. They got along fine, for some reason.
Her one weird habit–she would walk around the outside of the house close to the bushes by the walls and suddenly lunge and snap up a cicada as a crunchy treat. Eww. And this even when she was being well fed on the “house pet” plan. I always think of that when Lily starts rolling in the shit on your walks. You can take the hound out of the trash, but you can’t take the trash out of the hound. Or something like that.
Lily seems to be, as Daisy was, incredibly smart, loving and loyal. Good on ya, mate.
John Cole
@Steeplejack: What is a trash hound? Is that just a mutt?
The Dangerman
Curiously, I try the flop on my back, throw my appendages in the air, and flash the “rub my belly” look and all I get is … well, last time, it was arrested, but that’s probably TMI.
Lesley
John, you need some lessons from Dooce on cropping.
You just never know what kind of freak may take that first photo and sell it on the Internet. (kidding sort of…)
jl
I would be very interested in the pedigree of Lily, even it turns out to be a rather involved epic tale. Is there a consensus opinion here regarding what sort of dog Lily is?
The term ‘trash hound’ does not come to mind when I see a pic of Lily. The term ‘gr**n sh*t r*ll*ng’ dog comes to mind, unfortunately, but Mr. Cole brought it up so I lay my only reservations about Lily on him. I try to forget about it, except I have been meaning to check whether gr**n sh*t is in the lexicon.
But, what the heck is that dog?
In Edit: just noticed that the apparently depraved blogger, intent on debauching our youth, did not black out Lily’s naughty tits, or bits, or, whatever, this time. What kind of a family blog is this anyway?
Mr Furious
[blub] We just lost our family dog on Monday to completely unexpected heart failure. We are still reeling…
It makes me happy to see the pics and your love for Lily, though. Glad you guys found each other.
Dooce and her husband are practically professional photographers and shoot with $5,000 worth of hardware. You’re shooting from the hip and the heart. Keep it up.
FWIW, here’s a pic of the dearly departed—he was a good-lookin dog, and not a shabby photo either…
Steeplejack
@John Cole:
Just a mutt. I don’t know where the phrase came from, but my brothers and I used to joke that Daisy was a bona fide purebred Mississippi trash hound.
But the (mixed) breeding has led to a definite type, I think: that 15- to 20-pound size, generally brown, long snout, curled tail. I’ll have to see if my brother has any old pictures of Daisy, because I swear she looks just like Lily. Even the same mannerisms (from the video you posted).
freelancer
@Mr Furious:
Condolences, Furious.
He looks adorable and proud in that photo, and I hope that’s how you remember him.
Steeplejack
@Mr Furious:
Sorry for your loss. It is hard to lose them at any time.
Steeplejack
@Mr Furious:
Just looked at the picture. That’s a good-looking pooch.
auntieeminaz
@Mr Furious: R.I.P. Putty.
Mr Furious
Thanks, guys. Good night.
r€nato
and now for a non-dog-related comment:
Woody Allen signed the ‘free Polanski’ petition.
Woody fucking Allen.
Woody “I had an affair with my much younger stepdaughter and then I divorced her mom to marry her” Allen.
Yutsano
Had to put my loving and lovely black Lab Kasha to sleep right before Christmas. Also my parents had to get rid of their border collie puppy (lovely little guy but he just wouldn’t get the housetraining concept, fortunately he’s with a cowboy and is probably happier now than most quahogs) so dogs are a bit of a sore subject right now. Dawgs are a slightly different story, as mine just remembered he had a life outside of the Corps finally.
Yutsano
Woody “I had an affair with my much younger stepdaughter and then I divorced her mom to marry her” Allen.
Nah it’s too easy.
Steeplejack
@John Cole:
Further thought: I think the essence of trash hound is that you can’t really figure out what the hell is the mix of breeds. A lot of mutts, you can say, “Oh, well, he’s half German shepherd, and he’s got some lab in him.” But with Lily (and Daisy), it’s like, “Well, she’s . . . uh . . . I think . . . Oh, hell, she’s a trash hound.”
I mean, really, what would you say has gone into Lily’s makeup? I remember some Juicers saying that it was clear from her looks that she was partly some weird exotic breed (which I can’t remember now), and I remember thinking, “Yeah, and when exactly were they running wild in the streets of West Virginia?”
It’s like the trash hound is the distilled essence of small to medium-sized dog. That’s all. They’re intelligent, they’re loving, they’re loyal, they make great pets. But they do like to eat the cicadas and roll in the shit.
Yutsano
I remember some Juicers saying that it was clear from her looks that she was partly some weird exotic breed (which I can’t remember now), and I remember thinking, “Yeah, and when exactly were they running wild in the streets of West Virginia?”
A few folks (myself included) were saying she shows a few shiba inu traits. I still stand by that statement, especially in the body size and tail.
Presented as evidence:
Yutsano
Boo. Word Press ate my link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liSseCH6_p8
I even closed the freaking thing.
Elizabelle
from the shibu inu Wiki page.
Although Lily does indeed resemble these pups, in some manner. (Maybe some terrier and chihuahua in there too?)
“The Shiba is a fastidious breed and feels the need to maintain itself in a clean state. They can often be seen licking their paws and legs much like a cat. They generally go out of their way to keep their coats clean, and while walking will avoid stepping in puddles, mud and dirt.”
Ah well.
Elizabelle
And the shiba scream. That would look great in the BJ lexicon.
“A distinguishing characteristic of the breed is the so-called “shiba scream”. When sufficiently provoked or unhappy, the dog will produce a loud, high pitched scream. This can occur when attempting to handle the dog in a way that it deems unacceptable.[1][6][7] The animal may also emit a very similar sound during periods of great joy, such as the return of the owner after an extended absence, or the arrival of a favored human guest.”
Steeplejack
@Yutsano:
I’m not absolutely ruling out shiba inu, but, c’mon, what is more likely? That Lily is the lost princess of the imperial shiba inu line or that she’s just the result of generations of various small dog lines meeting and commingling in this great melting pot that is–America!
And, again, when exactly were vast feral packs of shiba inus running rampant in the streets of West Virginia and impressing their bloodlines on the local stock? LQTM [laughing quietly to myself–not as big as an LOL]
Elizabelle
Mr. Furious: very sorry to hear of your pet’s loss. They don’t live long enough, no matter how old.
Beauzeaux
Why is it than in every pic of Lily where she’s looking at the camera, I can just about see a bunch of little cartoon hearts bubbling up and filling the air around her?
jl
My condolences to Mr. Furious. Taht as a cute dog.
Now, I need to hear the tale of the wandering shibu inus of West Virginia. It must be quite a story.
Scrubadubba
Is that the thigh of the most famous John Cole?
MattR
Steeplejack, Yutsano, Elizabelle, etc – I guess I have a “trash hound” as well who I have suspected has some shiba inu in her. She’s about 30 lbs, has a whine pretty similar to the shiba scream and definitely does the paw licking thing (which took me a while to figure out that the wet stains on the sheet were excess slobber from licking and not urine). I don’t have any good pictures that show her off, but here are a few that may give you the idea.
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2585/3971340344_1d25e0ff0e.jpg
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2475/3970570841_50797670f6.jpg
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2614/3970576315_3222e0e0bc_o.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3533/3971347230_6836b90707.jpg
freelancer
@r€nato:
But these pretzels are making me thirsty!
Anne Laurie
@Mr Furious: I am so sorry for your loss — Putnam was indeed a good-looking dog and obviously very well loved.
That’s the worst thing about small dogs, like very small children, they just don’t have many reserves when they’re ill. Hard as it is to hold a beloved pet who’s being euthanized for an incurable illness, it’s even harder to deal with the shock, (senseless) guilt, and feeling of betrayal when you go from “He seems a little off” to “R.I.P.” in a matter of hours. I hope the many good memories will help get you through the worst of your sorrow in the days to come…
Anne Laurie
@Steeplejack:
Bingo; see the Wikipedia entries for pariah dog or dingo for further reference. My best guess for Lily, based on popularity, is chihuahua crossed with beagle, pug, or possibly terrier, but we’ll never know for sure because John doesn’t
want to confirm the terrible possibility that he’s living with a beaglecare!P.S. The worst dog I ever lived with for eating bugs and poop was also the only AKC-championship-pointed specimen I’m ever liable to own. Candy, aka Mousie, aka Negumi-chan, was a retired show girl too submissive to finish her championship, but she was adorable and loving and just a perfect Zen master for the dozen years (of her 16) that she spent with us. And she loved to dig worms in the backyard and eat them like spaghetti…
RedKitten
@Mr Furious: Oh hon, I’m so sorry to hear about Putty. Your eulogy of him brought tears to my eyes. He seems like he was such a great pal.
DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)
Late night here at the c a s i n o/h o t e l (take that filter!) in Coos Bay. The wife is sleeping and I am about to join her. Nice ride on the bike today, the weather was real nice and the traffic was sparse on 101. Taking off early in the am on a meandering route ending near Cave Junction (Oregon), where we will be zip lining through the trees and sleeping in one.
Beats hugging them.
I was glad to see that there were quite a few motorcycles on the road and at the various points we stopped at. It’s nice to travel when the tourists are not plugging the roads, plus the prices are better in the fall.
Louie Anderson is playing here later in October, we’re thinking about coming back up for the show. He is damn funny and it would be an excuse to ditch the kids for an evening (for the second time this year).
We need a bit of ‘us’ time, keeps things interesting. Plus our daughter loves to watch her brother because she loves to drive him nuts. She calls it revenge. We tell her that all we ask is that they are both alive when we return. ;)
Time to choke back a few bowls, read a bit and crash for the eve. :)
DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)
John, if Tunch wants to feel better, I will forward a pic of our Sammy. I have one pic where it looks like Jabba is grooming himself.
I just know Tunch will feel much better. That or threatened. ;)
kommrade reproductive vigor
Ah-ha! Rick Santorum was right!
Tattoosydney
Dignity is overrated, and quite properly the first thing to go out the window when your best friend in the whole world spends most of its time licking itself, chasing balls and being happy.
God I love my dog.
RedKitten
That’s the beauty of dogs–they’re really not very self-conscious at all, are they? (Except when they’re pooping. They really seem to not like it if you look at them while they’re pooping.)
Penfold
@RedKitten:
Oddly, that always makes me feel self-conscious too.
But seriously, dogs are funny like that, especially considering they have no problem laying about splayed on the floor while flagrantly licking their genitals. But, hey, I guess everyone has to have boundaries.
Keith G
Rolling over and playing nice? Not Rep. Grayson of Fl. Here is his smack down of the GOP over the health care debate.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-usmvYOPfco&feature=player_embedded
We need about 200 more just like him.
Return to Lily thread
Tattoosydney
@RedKitten:
This is very true. There are people who say that dogs don’t experience emotions (which is clearly rubbish), but I challenge anyone to look directly at a dog which is crapping, and tell me that the look that almost every dog gets on its face is not pure, simple embarrassment.
The Saff
John, you mentioned in last night’s open thread about a new server costing $6,000/year. I am willing to do my part to help keep the sight up and running. Balloon Juice rules!
And thanx for the Tunch and Lily pix. Cats and dogs are fab.
The Saff
@Keith G: Yes, his smackdown was excellent. Rachel Maddow had him on last night.
I don’t recall anyone in the media asking any member of the Republican Congressional leadership, “Exactly what do you propose as an alternative to the current Democratic bills working their way through Congress?”
Penfold
@Tattoosydney:
Yeah, and it seems like those studying animals are finally coming around to that idea. I’m a subscriber and/or reader of a lot of popular science magazines, e.g. Discover and Scientific American, and I’ve noticed more articles like this in the last couple years.
My guess is that eventually it will be pretty clear that animals (especially mammals, cetaceans) have much more sort of proto-human minds than a lot of people want to believe.
Cat Lady
I’m finding the fauxrage this morning over Alan Grayson’s deliberate eye poking to be really interesting. The pundits have to give him the attention he’s seeking, but they seem to be a little uncertain and uncomfortable with it – they’re trying to peg him as either crazy or “over the top”, but he’s deliberately forcing them to deal with the IOKIYAR issue, which they REALLY don’t want to do. Way to go Alan Grayson!
RedKitten
@Tattoosydney:
Anybody who says that is an idiot who has obviously never been around dogs much.
Elroy's Lunch
@RedKitten and Tattoosydney
Seems to run across a lot of species. Same with my cat Elroy. Catch him “busy” in the litter box and its very clear he would rather not have you in the same room. Of course, he’s more like a dog than a cat.
Skepticat
A trash hound? No, Lily is a superb example of a diversity dog.
JasonF
The Rep. Grayson situation is pissing me off. Was he over the top? Sure. Should he have used the rhetoric he did? Probably not. But after a summer of listening to Chuck Grassley and Michelle Bacmann and Sarah Palin and a dozen other Republicans talking about death panels and Nazis and Hitler with nobody batting an eyelash, the pearl-clutching over Rep. Grayson’s remarks is ridiculously hypocritical.
And don’t even get me started on the false equivalency to Rep. Wilson, who was censured for interrupting the President during a joint session and not for the content of his remarks.
Steeplejack
@Anne Laurie:
My best guess for Lily, based on popularity, is chihuahua crossed with beagle, pug, or possibly terrier, but we’ll never know for sure because John doesn’t
want to confirm the terrible possibility that he’s living with a beaglecare!Heh. Laughing at the thought that Lily is “passing.”
Steeplejack
@Skepticat:
Touché.
Punchy
I see you’ve gone to a simple collar from that damn body harness you had earlier. Nice move.
Jay in Oregon
@Mr Furious:
My God, I am so sorry to hear that.
My heart goes out to you. We have lost a dog and a cat in the past four years, and every such los takes a little piece of your heart with you.
Just remember that you’ll get to reclaim that piece of your heart later, when you catch up with them after this world is gone.
SGEW
@Mr Furious: My heartfelt condolences. Such a lovely friend, gone too soon.
SGEW
Oh, and by the way . . . here’s the daily reminder to vote for Bitsy:
Don’t forget to vote for Bitsy.
JasonF
@Mr Furious: My condolences. I clicked through to your link and Putty looks like he was an awesome dog.
GReynoldsCT00
@Mr Furious:
I’m so sorry and I know how it is; we lost our Peaches to the same thing three weeks ago. My parents were devastated.
A new puppy has joined the family and she’s a love, but the tears for Peaches are still not far behind…
geg6
Mr. Furious, I, too, want to extend my sympathies. We humans really, really love our puppies. It hurts when they are gone.
As for Rep. Grayson, he is currently my new hero. I can’t remember anyone, at any time, ever pushing back on the IOKIYAR. I donated to him last night. I want him on my teevee 24/7.
And two personal notes…
First, for those who listened and provided support and advice in the thread about my living arrangements the other night, we had a talk. We have decided that living together some time in the future may be a good idea. There are several things that need worked out before we make a final decision, but the fact that I will have an inviolate personal space makes me more comfortable with the whole idea. And that is something he agreed to and has no problem with, so we will negotiate the rest and see in a few months.
Second, I am going to be playing the “mother” of my teenage niece (she’s about to turn 16!!) for the next four days. I find the entire thought frightening. Tell me 16 year old young women aren’t the same as they were when I was that age. And tell me that non-sameness means they are smarter, more mature, and less rebellious than this particular teenager was in 1975. And lie if you have to. Thank you.
harlana pepper
Humans are way, way overrated
Carnacki
Rent the movie Uncle Buck for tips.
harlana pepper
RedKitten: I haven’t been around much but as I see you are back from “maternity leave,” may I say that your little bundle is absolutely adorable! Saw his pic the other day on here, that jolly smile would melt any heart! Very best wishes as you embark on the joys of motherhood.
hp
Cat Lady
@geg6:
16 year old girls are basically the same as they ever were, but remember you’re not her mother, and that’s a big difference. Also, teens spend most of their time texting friends so you’ll have no idea what she’s thinking anyway.
I think Grayson presents a real quandary for media coverage – they’d like to ignore him, but if they don’t, he’s going to make them walk through the minefield of their own making to get to him, and there he’ll be waiting for them and ready to call them on their own IOKIYAR bullshit. If they ignore him, he gets to keep poking them in the eye, and they’ll get the fauxrage from the right which is anathema. It’s a win win for him and us. And, he has the added benefit of being right. Also, too.
harlana pepper
@Scrubadubba:
a little something for the laaadies . . . rowr :)
burnspbesq
@geg6:
As the parent of a 15 year old, all I will say is keep an open mind and be patient. And be happy that you get to give her back after four days.
harlana pepper
@r€nato: Woody Allen is a dirty old, narcissistic creep. I really regretted that I liked “Annie Hall” for that reason.
Skepticat
@geg6: Several years ago, with very much the same trepidation because I don’t have/like kids and couldn’t even remember what it was like to be sixteen, I took my sixteen-year-old niece with me on a week’s trip to visit elderly relatives in Florida. She had been a handful at home, snippy and know-it-all, but was just wonderful away from her parents. Aunts always are much more cool than parents, and most people seem to behave better in public anyway. (With the except of Republican politicians and wingnuts, of course.)
Sounds like you have a winner with the significant other. He had me at the offer to share canning pears.
Carnacki
@Mr Furious:
My condolences. I lost my dear dog Lucy on July 31st. I still feel a deep void from her absence.
jibeaux
I wonder if koz will make an appearance on this thread to troll that there’s absolutely no evidence that Tunch or Lily exist….
EL
John, I hope you saw John Stewart use “skull fuck a kitten” in a bit on the health care reform debate. What can I say? You and all BJ’ers should take pride in Balloon Juice’s addition to the lexicon – I certainly do.
I never thought the phrase would gain its just fame in connection with health care. (Of course they bleeped the “fuck” but the meaning came through just fine.)
geg6
@Skepticat:
My niece and I have always been pretty close (well, as close as non-motherly type like me can be with any child). Two years ago, she and I went to New York for a few days together. We had a wonderful time and she was, as even she admits, 100% less snotty with me than she is with her parents. However, in that instance, we were alone together in a strange place. Here, I will be staying with her at her home and with all her friends and boyfriend around. I am told she will be going to the boyfriend’s high school football game Friday night (he’s a senior fullback) and won’t be expected home until about 1am as there is some group social time after the game (there will be a few parents around). Then she is going with her cousin and the boyfriend to a visit to a college they are considering and will be staying with the cousin’s relatives (on the other side of the family) over night. Perhaps I’m old fashioned or perhaps it’s just because I don’t have kids, but I think this is a bit loosey goosey for me. It makes me very nervous and partly that is because I know how much advantage I’d have taken in a similar situation at age 16. She is, however, a much more grounded and mature 16 year old than I was, I must admit. But I just think this is a bit more liberal than I would be with a child of my own. But she’s not mine, so I will simply offer my best advice to her and let things happen as they may.
WereBear
I’m so sorry for everyone losing dogs on this thread. Every one I lost, no matter how many years, still dwells in my heart.
And what more can doggies ask, anyway?
JenJen
Truly, only other dog lovers could understand your special love. And trust me, I understand!
Yay, John + Lily forever!
jibeaux
Gene Weingarten has a book of photos of old dogs. Has anyone seen that? I bet it’s probably pretty touching.
JGabriel
David Kurtz @ TPM reports:
Huh.
By which I mean: I didn’t think Palin had enough fans who could read to push her sales up that high.
Who’d’ve thunk it?
.
slag
@kommrade reproductive vigor:
Quotes from John’s post will probably show up in the ominous voiceover of Santorum’s 2012 ads. We’ll all be so proud!
Also, this Glenn Greenwald quote gave me a thrill up my leg:
Just sayin.
jibeaux
@JGabriel:
I’m pretty sure there are going to be coloring pages in this book.
JGabriel
@Slag quoting Glennzilla:
He’s just trying to make the WSJ jealous.
.
gnomedad
@kommrade reproductive vigor:
Sorry, brain misfire. Right about what?
slag
@JGabriel: You sound blissfully unawares of how the rightwing publishing scene works. Producers and funders spend quite a lot of money buying their own books just so they can push them up on the list. A lot of times they end up on the burn pile, which means that, not only do they contribute to discourse pollution, they contribute to air pollution as well.
JGabriel
@jibeaux:
And a little fine print notice on the back cover that says: Crayons sold separately.
.
Corner Stone
@freelancer: These pretzels are making me thirsty.
slag
@gnomedad: I didn’t know this had its own Wikipedia page! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santorum_controversy
Crashman06
@JGabriel: I’ll bet a lot of those are all preorders from conservative book clubs, who buy miles and miles of these shitty books and let them sit in warehouses while they try to pass them off to mouthbreathers who’ve signed up for for their service. Many of these books will be returned to the publisher, or will head straight to the remainder shelf. Most conservative polemics have artificially high sales numbers because of these book clubs. The actual number of eyeballs reading this trash is far less than sales numbers would indicate.
JGabriel
slag:
That’s so sacrilegious! It’s like burning … Bibles!
.
wonkie
So sorry, Mr. Furious. Unexpected death is especially hard to accept. Beautiful doggie.
RE: what breed is Lily? I think the comment about dingos and pariah dogs is on the money. Every region has its own version of the basic yelllow dog mutt; a dog type that is the result of generations of mixed breeding resulting in a throwback toward the original domesticated dogs of ancient times. Baja California is overrun by small yellow dogs, Korean has a larger, furrier version, and the local native reservations in my part of the world have a medium sized smooth coated version. The Carolinas have the Coarlina Yellow Dog which is a a mixed breed dog that is now being bred deliberately to create a breed.
The common denominator seems to be yellow fur, curly tail, medium to smooth coat, and a lot of smarts.
slag
@JGabriel: And pretty much every other Village person.
Corner Stone
@Cat Lady:
I don’t think he presents them any such dilemma. That’s the whole shebang about IOKIYAR – only one such direction is needed when driving a story, especially a fauxtrage one. The media only has to keep nitpicking at the Democrat, and politely ignoring the Republican behavior.
I watched Rachel Maddow interview him and I thought it was pretty poorly done on her part.
jibeaux
@JGabriel:
I was thinking maybe those Color Wonder markers that only work on Color Wonder paper, so the readers don’t accidentally crayon on the walls while reading it. But, that Color Wonder stuff is expensive and in the end, Sarah Palin doesn’t care if people color on their own walls. So you’re probably right.
gnomedad
@slag:
Or, for that matter (in “See also”), this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santorum_(sexual_neologism)
See! Also.
I don’t have a problem with stupidity, just with stupid speech and acts.
Jay C
@JGabriel:
Amazing, isn’t it? Most notable rightwingers’ “literary” efforts, even when they resemble movie plots (“13 Ghosts“) tend to sell like hotcakes, no matter how lame. Dirty Little Secret: a lot are pre-ordered/bought up en masse by various branches of the Wingnut Welfare Book Club in order to boost the sales/cachet/payoff of their favorite “authors”: the pulp mills who shred the vast hills of remainders being one of the few forms of recycling they like to support….
That said, though, I’m sure Caribou Barbie’s tome probably will get larger-than-usual sales among actual readers, if only for its curiosity value – or people looking for recipes on how to cook moose.
Seanly
Our 95-lb male dog loves to cockroach like Lily there. I used to have a picture of him in that pose, but a co-worker kept making comments about the dog pr0n…
He doesn’t get in that pose in our laps – usually he likes to rest his head in our laps while we pet him. Or try to pet him since he’s always pawing at us for more, more, more dammit!
And while he is an attention hound, his mother is very aloof.
I should get off my lazy butt & send in photos of them.
Skepticat
@geg6: Ahhhh, yes, much different and more challenging a situation–and not an especially enviable one. Old and stodgy myself, I too am astounded by how loosey goosey things are with “kids these days.” From the time I realized it was optional, I never wanted children. When my sister has problems with her son and daughter (which is often, considering how spoiled they are), I just tell her that’s why when I was married I took two or three birth control pills a day just to be sure.
Your last line is spot on, however, and I think you’ll be able to count your stewardship a success if you keep the house from burning down and the police presence to a minimum. Good luck.
JGabriel
Crashman06:
Yes, yes, for gawd’s sake already, yes, I know about conservative publishing practices. No doubt most of those books will end up as promotional giveaways for subscriptions to The National Review* and The Weekly Standard.
But that’s not as much fun as imagining Bible Spice’s sputtering, foam-flecked, hordes trying to read her tome and asking each other questions like “What’s a chartreuse dress? Is that like strapless (fapfapfap)?”
(*Assuming Rich Lowry doesn hoard them.)
.
Just Some Fuckhead
John, can we get some pics of you laying on yer back with yer feet in the air?
Skepticat
@gnomedad:I certainly can understand why you’d be totally flummoxed by any sentence containing “Santorum was right.”
asiangrrlMN
@Mr Furious: I am so sorry, Mr. Furious, for your unexpected loss. Putty is a beautiful dog, and may he run swiftly to the other side. I am sending a white light to guide him on his way. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
Cole, the love between a boy and his dog is a beautiful thing. You know what is even more beautiful? The love between a boy and his cat.
JGabriel
Just Some Fuckhead:
(JGabriel spears own eyeballs with sharp stick.)
.
JGabriel
Skepticat:
Especially since the words usually associated with Santorum are “messy” and “ick”.
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slag
@JGabriel:
Come to think of it, that’s probably how the Bible ends up on the bestseller lists as well.
asiangrrlMN
@geg6: Good for you for talking to your man and figuring some things out. As for your niece, just be cool. My niece adores me because I’m not her parent. Well, that’s not the only reason, but it’s one of them. She’s eleven, and I know I will probably be her refuge some days when she grows older. I’m her aunt. I don’t have to discipline her over every little thing. That’s the beauty of non-parenthood.
JGabriel
@asiangrrlMN:
“Of course I’ll teach you how to pick up boys, sweet niece o’mine! First, we need a pair of torn fishnets …”
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yellowdog
@ Renato
Woody Allen was never married to Mia Farrow; they didn’t even cohabit. She lived on the East Side and he lived on the West Side. So Woody did not stand in ‘in loco parentis’ to Ms. Previn. And throughout the whole thing, nobody seemed to ask what happened to her actual father, composer Andre Previn.
That said, signing the petition was wrong, on Woody Allen’s, or any other celebrity’s part.
Skepticat
@JGabriel: Those are the polite ones anyway. I can think of several more but will do my part to maintain civility by leaving them to others’ imaginations.
Brachiator
@yellowdog:
Of course, this is exactly the convoluted, ultra-legalistic excuse that Allen used to rationalize his actions.
I doubt that children are up on the concept of “in loco parentis,” which in this case really seemed to mean “crazy ass parental relationships.”
They didn’t cohabit, and yet their lives were entangled.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woody_Allen#Mia_Farrow
It is entirely possible that Allen had no relationship at all with Farrow’s other children. But damn, that would be some classless, asshat behavior. And it is unlikely that the children would see these artificial barriers in the same way. Especially after 12 years.
But I guess just as there are all kinds of families, there are all kinds of non-families.
geg6
@asiangrrlMN:
Yes, my man is a wonderful man. I am a lucky woman to have found him.
As for the niece, you’re right. I, too, am this particular niece’s refuge. I am the super cool aunt who she can talk to about everything and who has always treated her as a unique individual with intelligence and a mind of her own. The fact that she looks just like me at that age and that she relates to me so well is what worries me, though!
asiangrrlMN
@JGabriel: Am I that transparent? Heh. No, I had one rule for my niece as she grew up: Do not break your head. That’s it. For my nephews, I have to make up more rules, but that’s neither here nor there.
Basically, I will not lie to my niece. I may refuse to talk about issues, but I will not lie. I have already had to explain to her that not all boys care if a girl shaves her legs or not after she told me I didn’t have to worry about shaving my legs because I’m not married and I don’t want to be. She gave me the classic ‘You don’t know anything’ stare and said, “Yes, they do!”, so I have my work cut out for me.
Ash
I bet Tunch has contacted Cheaters. I’d watch out if I was you John Cole, they always catch the man in the act of betrayal.
asiangrrlMN
@geg6: I hear you. My niece looked like me when she was born (now she is way more gorgeous than I ever was at, well, any age), and I can see parts of me in her. Except, she has a lot more self-confidence than I did at her age–thank goodness.
@Brachiator: Thank you for this response. I simply cannot fathom defending Woody Allen’s decision concerning Mia Farrow’s adopted daughter, but I am a poor debater, so I leave it to my betters to formulate more coherent sentences.
I don’t give a shit as to their legal relationship. She is thirty-five years younger than is he, and he was a father-figure to her. Most likely, they started a relationship when she was a teen. That is enough in my book to make him a shithead.
JGabriel
asiangrrlMN:
Most people seem to miss what I think of as the real creep factor in that situation: explaining to your daughter that you’re dating her sister. That’s just wrong.
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CaseyL
Mr Furious: Your memorial to Putty made me cry. Those are fantastic photos of him: I love how he’s posing like he’s a Musketeer. So, so sorry for your loss.
Re the photo: That’s an awfully… young-looking leg to belong to our Fearless Curmudgeonly Leader. But I can’t think who else’s lap Lily would feel so free to be so abandoned in. Cole, what do you do, use Oil of Olay as a body lotion?
Jay in Oregon
@Mr Furious:
http://www.vachss.com/10/caruso.html
R-Jud
@JGabriel:
Woody Allen’s son by Mia Farrow no longer speaks to him for exactly this reason.
“He’s my father married to my sister. That makes me his son and his brother-in-law. That is such a moral transgression. I cannot see him. I cannot have a relationship with my father and be morally consistent…. I lived with all these adopted children, so they are my family. To say Soon-Yi was not my sister is an insult to all adopted children.”
Origuy
If a lot of people go to Amazon and view the listing for Sarah Palin’s book and then search for “Crayola 64ct crayons”, do you think we can get crayons to show up in the “Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed” section?
Gus
@Mr Furious:
Sorry, Mr. Furious. Your dear departed looks a little like the cockapoo I just spent $1500 on for knee surgery.
Mr Furious
Thanks for the kind words, everyone.
It’s been tough. I’ve accepted his death, but miss him terribly. And EVERYTHING reminds me of him. We’re sort of wracked with guilt that he spent his last weekend at the kennel. that, and the fact that we never saw this coming…
We had gone to Charleston for the weekend, and on monday I picked him up from the kennel and came home. He seemed fine, but a couple hours later, my wife thought he looked odd—it seemed like his breath was labored and he was a bit more lethargic than normal. We called and the vet asked us to bring him right in. He jumped off the couch … rode over in the car… went right up the dozen or so steps into the office and a tech met us in the waiting room and knelt down to look at him. “Check his color” is what I think she said. She looked in his mouth, and then suddenly scooped him up ran to the back and yelled for a crash cart.
I was dumbfounded.
A moment later I was called back. Two techs were giving him CPR and mouth to (nose). The vet had announced his heart had stopped—what would I like them to do?
I didn’t even know what to say. I’ll admit I was immediately fearful of a massive vet bill—since we’re broke, but she went on to explain, she didn’t think there was much that could be done. They administered some drugs, ran him through the x-ray machine to try and determine fluid in lungs or heart issue, and kept the CPR up until the film came back showing a massively enlarged heart.
At that point it was over. I felt absolutely ill. He was suddenly gone in a matter of five minutes.
I went into an exam room to call my wife—and that moment was absolutely the worst part of the whole thing. That dog was how we met in NYC… he was her baby until we had our kids, and her scream on the phone when I gave her the news still rings in my head. It was exactly like a parent being told her child has died.
She had to call me back because she dropped the phone. I needed to know what we would do with him. We decided to have him cremated and keep the ashes. She would come to the vet to see him.
They brought him in to me wrapped in a blanket, and it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I was weeping…
My wife came in, and could barely hold herself up. They gave us several minutes and then the vet explained what they thought happened, that he died without warning…there was nothing we could have known or done, and that he did not suffer. She asked about arrangements and suggested that she cut a little bit of his hair off for our older daughter, which she gently did, taped up and gave us. We said goodbye and went home.
My wife has been a wreck all week, and our kids are too. My seven year old alternates between a state of grief / sadness and detached denial. My two year old thinks he’s still at “the dog hotel.”
The next day I came home from work, I heard her call from the kitchen “Daddy!!! … Putty!?” Pretty heartbreaking.
We have a lot in our lives that is up in the air right now, so we’re not poised to get another dog right away, but someday we will.
Will we welcome him as an equal family member again? Or keep more distance? I’m hoping the former.
—
Sorry that was so long, and without preview, I hope it made sense… but I sort of needed to get that out.
Mr Furious
@Gus: He was billed as a Bijon when my wife bought him as a puppy out of the back of a van in Brooklyn. He was clearly part poodle or perhaps terrier with the longer legs and less stout body and muzzle.
He was a looker. Everywhere we’ve lived people would stop and ask us what kind of dog he was. That picture is how would appear right before needing to be groomed. It was him at his best.
Jay in Oregon
@Mr Furious:
I know how that feels. Our first dog together had to be put to sleep close to two years ago. We got him from a rescue shelter the week we got back from our honeymoon, and he was like a surrogate child.
He got cancer, it was very aggressive, and we spent a month trying to nurse him back to health and clean up the daily — twice daily — accidents in the house.
She still misses him to this day.
I miss him too, but I had to watch him for a weekend by myself while my wife was out of town. I barely slept for two days and was a wreck when she got home: during that time, I’d made my peace with it.
R-Jud
@Mr Furious:
I already felt for you and your family, but this choked me up. I hope it helped, writing it all down. You sound like a great husband and a great dad. I’m sure that when you’re ready for a new dog, he or she will turn up.
Mr Furious
@R-Jud: In the summer of ’99 I had found a dog in Prospect Park, and after trying in vain to locate an owner I ended up keeping him. He was (presumably) an all black border collie /skipperche mix.
John’s love affair with Lily really reminds me of that time, and it’s why I’m enjoying it so much.
I took him to an obedience class attended by my future wife and her puppy—the recently departed Putty. We hit it off in the dog park, and the rest, as they say, is history.
My dog, Dodger, had to be put down—too young—several years ago (one of the worst days of my life), but I could find some comfort in the fact that I had rescued him from life as a stray in the City, and he had a good run after that.
This one is harder. Putty should have had another 7-8 years, though there is some comfort in knowing it was not a long-suffering process… That must have been brutal, Jay. I’m sorry to hear about that.
Jay in Oregon
@Mr Furious:
Like I said, I had made my peace with it by then.
We still miss him, but we have two lovely dogs that make up for it.
asiangrrlMN
@Mr Furious: Please try to be gentle with yourself. You couldn’t know. You loved your Putty very much, it’s obvious. He knows that. Again, deep condolences to you and your family.