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Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

This blog will pay for itself.

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These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

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There are times when telling just part of the truth is effectively a lie.

I did not have this on my fuck 2025 bingo card.

If America since Jan 2025 hasn’t broken your heart, you haven’t loved her enough.

If you are still in the gop, you are either an extremist yourself, or in bed with those who are.

One lie, alone, tears the fabric of reality.

“They all knew.”

75% of people clapping liked the show!

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When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

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There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

You are here: Home / Heckuva job, Bernie

Reader Interactions

39Comments

  1. 1.

    A Mom Anon

    And lied to the Feds during the freaking vetting process.

    I suppose that’s a small score for the good guys,too bad others aren’t going down with his sorry ass.

  3. 3.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    You know, for all of the bitching and moaning we do, some of it justified, it’s nonetheless good to be reminded now and then of the various true circles of hell we avoided in the course of the various 2008 Presidential campaigns.

  5. 5.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    People forget that Bernie Kerik was once nominated to be the head of the Department of Homeland Security.

    Not me. Never.

    What’s sad is that Sen. Stevens walked on his conviction and nobody seems interested in checking out Sarah and Todd’s renovations. Repubs sure like home improvements, especially the ones they get in return for ‘favors’.

    Hope Bernie runs into a few ‘friends’ in prison, I’m sure they would be very happy to see him as equals.

  6. 6.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I didn’t know that Geraldo Rivera was such a Kerik fan. I’m not *surprised* — I just wasn’t aware there was a friendship.

  7. 7.

    BruceFromOhio

    @DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal): This. Former police commissioners would not likely find many friends in the slammer.

    Interesting that he’s been under ‘strict house arrest’ while awaiting sentencing, gets hit with a longer-than-requested sentence, but is given until May 17th to ‘get his affairs in order.’ WTF? If it was you or me, we’d be clapped in irons and hauled away.

  8. 8.

    Ash Can

    From the linked article:

    As testament to his clout, Mr. Kerik had a jail named after him in downtown Manhattan. (The name has since been changed.)

    Why bother changing it? Seems appropriate to me.

    Or maybe they can just name his cell after him. Or he can just scratch his name in the wall of it with the edge of an emery board. Yeah, that’ll do.

  9. 9.

    burnspbesq

    @BruceFromOhio:

    ” WTF? If it was you or me, we’d be clapped in irons and hauled away.”

    Probably not. This is pretty standard in white-collar cases, when the convicted person is not considered dangerous or a flight risk. Kerik needs to raise a ton of $ before he goes inside, to pay the restitution to the IRS that is part of the plea agreement, settle up with the IRS on the unreported income that got him in this mess in the first place, and pay his lawyers. He is most likely going to have to sell his house, and that takes time in this market, even in a place like Franklin Lakes that is popular with high-net-worth individuals because of the quality of the schools and other factors.

  12. 12.

    drkrick

    See, the fact that Obama hasn’t nominated any felons to Cabinet positions proves he’s not serious about protecting us. All these namby-pamby law observers aren’t tough enough to do the job.

    Also.

  13. 13.

    El Cid

    I hope the Obama cowards didn’t Mirandize Kerik — with enough enhanced interrogation we might be able to learn more information so as to KeepUsSafe.

  14. 14.

    Mike Kay

    @drkrick:

    not to mention, Obama hasn’t nominated any chicken hawks. Instead the bastard surrounds himself with vets like General Jones, Admiral Blair, brennen, and even Rahm, who served in the IDF.

  15. 15.

    PurpleGirl

    I wonder if RG will find a way to give his former driver a job when he gets out (who know you have to help ex-cons) or if he’ll find a friend who can give Kerik a job. Wonder if wingnut welfare will be found for Kerik.

  17. 17.

    El Cid

    @Mike Kay: Why was he even tried in this country in a civilian trial? With a military commission in a foreign military base, we might have been more secure.

  18. 18.

    Mike Kay

    @El Cid:

    the only solution is to handcuff kerik behind his back and place him in a tub of water. if he floats, he’s gulity — if he drowns, he’s innocent.

  20. 20.

    Parole Officer Burke

    @Mike Kay:

    . . . Rahm [Emanuel] . . . served in the IDF.

    This is incorrect. However, according to James Zogby (via Wikipedia): “[I]n the midst of the 1991 Gulf War, while U.S. forces were manning Patriot missile batteries in Israel and the Arab Gulf, [Rahm] Emanuel volunteered for a few weeks, as a civilian, doing maintenance on Israeli vehicles.”

  22. 22.

    kay

    @burnspbesq:

    I think it stinks.
    I don’t know why white collar convicts get all this help to comply with the terms of their plea, or “settle their affairs”.
    They’re handing non-violent criminal convicts a one-page form to sign off on their children to a relative as they’re led out of court here. There is never the slightest effort to arrange matters so they can make restitution. If they default on restitution, they’re simply picked up on that, as a violation of the terms of release, or their wages are garnished when they get out.
    He’s had months to sell that house, and the state can seize it anyway. There’s no reason he should liquidate it. He’s had months to get his affairs in order. Personally, I am sick of this deference. I’m told here by law and order types that the “shock” of shipping them immediately is part of the sanction. Why this doesn’t apply to white collar criminals is beyond me.

  24. 24.

    Keith

    Not to mention the guy used to dance the Rococo Bang with Judith Regan, which I find to be nearly unbelievable.

  26. 26.

    soonergrunt

    OT (but coincidental since we are talking about federal prisoners)
    Terry Nichols, the OKC bombing conspirator serving life without parole has started a hunger strike and the attendant lawsuit to protest the refined food he is served in supermax.
    It defiles the body.
    It’s just a shame that his 168 victims can’t sue him for defiling their bodies.
    Let the fucker starve himself to death.

  28. 28.

    ChristieS

    @ PurpleGirl 8:18

    I wonder if RG will find a way to give his former driver a job when he gets out (who know you have to help ex-cons) or if he’ll find a friend who can give Kerik a job. Wonder if wingnut welfare will be found for Kerik.

    Why not? G. Gordon Liddy is doing well, so I hear. Ollie North is another grateful recipient of wingnut welfare. I’m pretty sure somebody ::cough, Cheney, cough:: will find a place for Kerik.

  29. 29.

    tesslibrarian

    If Kerik had been confirmed, he’d already be on wingnut welfare. No investigation, certainly no trial or jail sentence–that would be “too divisive.” And he’d have a radio show!

  30. 30.

    Crashman

    My Republican dad has this guy’s post-9/11 fluff job of a book on display on the bookshelf back at home. He tried to get me to read it a few years ago. I’m looking forward to making a few snide remarks about it next time I go home. I’m such a bad son.

  34. 34.

    Keith

    @Mike Kay:

    It’s a line from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” and is a slang term for something I don’t want to envision Bernie Kerik doing.

  36. 36.

    drag0n

    As much as I hate to admit it. This quote from Rivera from Oct. 2009:

    “This federal judge up there, this guy Stephen Robinson, seems to have such a thing up his behind about Bernie that he has revoked Commissioner Kerik’s bail pending trial,” Geraldo told Imus, adding that the judge’s public comments against Kerik were an outrage.

    and this detail:

    Under the terms of a plea agreement, the prosecution and the defense recommended that Judge Stephen C. Robinson sentence Mr. Kerik to 27 to 33 months in prison. But the judge departed from the sentencing recommendations, giving Mr. Kerik a longer sentence because he said he had betrayed the public’s trust.

    makes me wonder if Rivera didn’t have a point about the judge.

  37. 37.

    Frank

    Kerik has allways made my skin crawl.He seems to have crawled out of a James Ellroy novel.The sort of amoral scum that would bust workers in Saudi Arabia for “inapropriate” sexual activity and yet use an apartment set aside for responders at the 9/11 sight so he, a married man, could fuck Judith Regan over the open gravesight of a couple thousand victims.

    Take a good look : the Libertarian Man.

  39. 39.

    Chris

    People also forget that Bernie Kerik’s nomination foundered so suddenly that they had to make up a didn’t-pay-his-housekeeper’s-Social-Security-taxes-or-whatever scandal so he could withdraw honorably.

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