Strom Thurmond Emits Fiery Speech on Senate Floor:
What caused the aged Senator to blow his top:
1.) Aides confirmed that ‘colored people’ are allowed to vote.
2.) Senate Energy Committee intends to tax battery-operated wheelchairs.
3.) Confederate flag boxers are washed with bleach by maids, causing them to turn a ‘faggy pantywaist pink.’
4.) Sudden realization that Patrick Leahy is a partisan hack and a liar.