Archives for 2003

Since I seem to be making a career off muddled posts, let me try once more to clarify this post:

I, JOHN COLE, IN NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM, THINK THAT TED KENNEDY’S COMMENT WAS RACIST.

After all, two of the judges Kennedy called Neanderthal are as white as rice. I think it is rather clear he merely considers them neanderthal because of their conservatism (mind you, that is offensive enough, and part of the problem with politics these days).

What I do think is that if ANY Republican Senator, and not just Trent Lott, had uttered the same remark (about four Democratic nominees, two of whom are minorities), all of the following would happen (and spare me the neanderthal is just an old name for staunchn conservatives meme. This is the Democratic party that had people trying to paint Bill Frist as a racist because he didn’t sharpen pencils before handing them out in an African American community. If any Republican had called any minority a neanderthal, I think we all know what the reaction would be):

1.) Julian Bond would be screaming that all Republicans are like the Taliban.

2.) Atrios would call every Republican in the Senate a proxy racist for having known the Republican or at one time spoken at an event in which the Senator was in attendance.

3.) Dave Niewert would write a 62 page exegesis using the comment as proof of the rise of fascism within the Republican party.

4.) Matt Yglesias would write a post titled “Can There Be A Decent Right?”

5.) TBOGG and Jesse at Pandagon would both simultaneously combust, with their last words involving Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh.

6.) Al Sharpton would organize a boycott on the state the Senator represents and incite African-American New Yorkers to murder tourists from that state should they happen to venture into Crown Heights.

7.) Oliver Willis would have nonstop Bigot Eruption Updates.

8.) Bill Clinton would claim that talk radio is responsible.

9.) Eric Alterman would write a book claiming this is another example of what happens because of the Conservative media.

10.) Jesse Jackson would examine the Senator’s tax statements and then try to shake down any company the Senator holds stock in while his son would repeat everything his father says, and Beltway reporters would coo about how moderate his son is compared to his firebrand father.

11.) NPR would launch a 62 part series on race relations in the United States.

12.) The Congressional Black Caucus (minus any black Republicans) would call for meetings to increase racial sensitivity.

13.) Bill Moyers would blame George Bush for advancing a far right-wing agenda.

14.) The New Hampshire Gazette would claim this is not surprising because Prescott Bush had ties to Nazi’s, while Joe Conason would state this is unfair and that there are plenty of other reasons to hate the Bush family.

15.) The NAACP would launch a new round of the James Byrd dragging commericals.

16.) The mainframe at the Nation would explode because every writer would at once do a lexis-nexis search for ‘Republican + White + Supremacist.’

17.) Jim Hightower would blame Reagan, while CBS would edit their miniseries ‘The Reagans’ to include numerous scenes of the former President muttering ‘niggers’ any time he though no one was looking.

17.) Charles Schumer would accidentally trample to death a Senate intern while rushing to and from every available camera.

18.) Tom Daschle would be deeply, deeply disappointed. Or saddened.

19.) Within a week, my mother, a registered Democrat, would get a fund-raising letter from Terry McAuliffe asking for money to fight the racist monolith that is the GOP.

20.) Nina Totenberg would blame Clarence Thomas.

The tragic thing about all this is that I am only slightly exaggerating.

Add your prediction to what would happen in the comments.

*** Update ***

Since the liberal trolls are out in force, and refuse to understand the broader point of this context, let’s try this on for size.

FORGET THE WORD NEANDERTHAL.

What if Sen. Don Nickles stated, in the middle of a twenty minute speech about why he is not going to vote for four Democrat judicial nominees, two of whom are minorities, the following:

“Clinton’s nominees are extreme liberals who have no respect for the law and wish to legislate from the bench. Those people should not become judges. They do not share our values. I will do everything I can to keep their primitive viewpoints off the bench.”

Is there anyone who seriously doubts that the left would not seize on the words “Those people” and “our values” and “primitive viewpoints” would not be immediately trumpeted by the far left as code talk for racists, and then the meme would gain legs with the more mainstream left, until even moderates like Matt Yglesias would reference the new meme, even though he doesn’t believe it? This is the type of bile the left (go through my list above- you know which ones would manufacture this stuff) is constantly peddling to tar the entire coservative movement as racist. Granted they have their enablers on the right in the form of some actual racists, and jackasses like Haley Barbour and Trent Lott, but let’s be serious here. This is exactly what happens all the time and cheapens any damned debate on race. Remember, this is the water buffalo crowd we are talking about- the professionally offended and the professionally sensitive, all for maximum political game.

Teddy Kennedy, NeanderthalPost + Comments (39)