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You are here: Home / Humorous / The Harris Syndrome

The Harris Syndrome

by Tim F|  September 6, 20061:01 pm| 37 Comments

This post is in: Humorous, General Stupidity

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In The China Syndrome filmmakers proposed a hilariously misinformed scenario where the melted-down core of a nuclear reactor escapes containment, bursn its way through the Earth’s core and comes out the other side in China. Besides the gravity-defying second half of the putative reactor’s trip the scenario also ignores what happens when the core meets the water table about thirty feet down (think geyser).

So the film was nuts, right alongside awful works like The Day After Tomorrow and The Core. Yet somehow whenever I hear news about the Katherine Harris Senate campaign these days I keep thinking of a self-sustanining meltdown defying the laws of physics and common sense, tirelessly tunneling past the Earth’s crust and into uncharted regions of embarrassment. Two recent reports from Steve Benen, for example. The campaign is apparently working with its third management team after the first two consecutively resigned and denounced Harris as a delusional dragon lady. Who knows, maybe she will go for four. The campaign seems to follow a weird kind of movie logic.

The latest news: deep-Earth geologists report that the Harris campaign has won the Florida GOP primary by a wide margin. Democrats and bad movie fans celebrate.

***Update***

The self-correcting blogosphere in action! The movie didn’t take the China idea seriously either. My apologies if anybody involved with the movie reads this blog.

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Previous Post: « The ABC Mockumentary
Next Post: About That August Decline In Baghdad Civilian Deaths »

Reader Interactions

37Comments

  1. 1.

    Daniel DiRito

    September 6, 2006 at 1:04 pm

    Florida votes…while the country chuckles…see a tongue-in-cheek visual of two infamous Floridians singing their favorite “Church & State” Hymns…here:

    http://www.thoughttheater.com

  2. 2.

    Ozymandias

    September 6, 2006 at 1:33 pm

    Baby, you make me burn like a nuclear reactor.

  3. 3.

    Pb

    September 6, 2006 at 1:47 pm

    the Harris campaign has won the Florida GOP primary by a wide margin. Democrats and bad movie fans celebrate

    Woo hoo, the debacle continues! I wonder how many millions (of her own money) she’s managed to burn through already, and if she’ll spend it all! Go for it, Harris, don’t let the naysayers, the media, the public opinion, or the facts get you down! And don’t worry, I’m sure your loyal Republican friends will take really good care of you once you’re poor!

  4. 4.

    Mr Furious

    September 6, 2006 at 1:49 pm

    I’ll almost miss Harris when she’s gone.

    BTW, Tim, to be fair, nobody takes the China Syndrome seriously, even the film’s characters were joking when it was mentioned…

  5. 5.

    Sstarr

    September 6, 2006 at 1:51 pm

    Now that everyone (even most Republican commentators) believe that Katherine Harris is a nut, it’s time to bring up the 2000 election recount. You know, the one where Katherine Harris was touted by Republicans as an objective, hard working and smart elected offical who would do her best to make sure the recount was correct? Anyone want to bet there’s reason to think she may have skewed the recount?

    Slate produced an excellent article on this last week, but I can’t find it on their archive…

  6. 6.

    Sstarr

    September 6, 2006 at 2:02 pm

    Whoops. It wasn’t Slate. The article is in The New Republic

  7. 7.

    fester

    September 6, 2006 at 2:04 pm

    Just a dumb question for people like me whose political memories are fairly short — what are some of the all time great political implosions of candidates who were not supposed to be vanity candidates at the start of the campaign cycle?

    Harris definately qualifies but whom else?

  8. 8.

    Alan

    September 6, 2006 at 2:42 pm

    My hopeful guess, Harris won solely on her name recognition. And though she won with a wide margin, she didn’t quite achieve the 50% mark:

    Katherine Harris 470,334 49%
    Will McBride 288,094 30%
    LeRoy Collins 145,633 15%
    Peter Monroe 50,797 5%

    It’s too bad FL doesn’t have a forced runoff between to the two top candidates if the winning candidate doesn’t break the 50% mark.

    Anyway, I’m not sure I’ll vote in the general election. It’s not because I don’t support the goals behind the Iraq war. It’s because of the religious tones emanating from the GOP candidate. She gives me the creeps…as does much of the GOP of late.

  9. 9.

    Face

    September 6, 2006 at 2:42 pm

    Harris is HOT…for an old chick with a horse face and enormous teeth and bad hair…where does that leave me? Oh yeah, her rack.

  10. 10.

    ats

    September 6, 2006 at 3:04 pm

    The rack is bogus. I have it on good authority that Katherine Harris is really Tony Kornheiser.

  11. 11.

    Bombadil

    September 6, 2006 at 3:07 pm

    Yeah, Tim, the “melting-through-to-China” thing was a jokey way of referring to what happens when a reactor core melts down, not meant to be an accurate description. The phrase “China syndrome” says that, given the right circumstances, a runaway reactor will burn through the floor of the containment vessel and into the ground below, possibly reaching the water table, at which point the blast of superheated steam created would cause an explosion that would send nuclear waste over a wide area. It doesn’t ignore what happens when it hits the water table, it describes what happens then.

    Did you actually see the movie? Or are you making some kind of joke here that I missed?

  12. 12.

    Tsulagi

    September 6, 2006 at 3:10 pm

    The laughs just keep coming from today’s Republican party. Can’t wait for her to say how tough she’d be on national security for a few more chuckles. Maybe for the camera she’ll strike her trademark angled pose (See, I have tits!) and denounce Murtha as a wimp to complete her bona fides for the retardocons.

  13. 13.

    Bombadil

    September 6, 2006 at 3:15 pm

    Maybe Harris will set up a government program where everyone is issued a case of Celestial Drops water.

  14. 14.

    terry chay

    September 6, 2006 at 3:21 pm

    Tim,

    It’s been about 20 years since I saw the movie, but I thought in the scenario of “digging to China” in the “the China Syndrome” was put figuratively in the movie.

    I understand what happened in 3 mile island represented a worst case scenario, but given Chernobyl, we see that a poorer design, building compromises, and human error make a nuclear meltdown at least a real possibility. (The difference between a melting containment/China Syndrome scenario and the Chernobyl accident is that the latter had only partial containment which allowed the gas to escape and allow oxygen to come in to create a fire.)

    I certainly wouldn’t put it in the same class as the other two movies.

  15. 15.

    Zifnab

    September 6, 2006 at 3:29 pm

    I hope she runs for President.

  16. 16.

    mrmobi

    September 6, 2006 at 3:43 pm

    God, I love that woman! Especially when she’s half-in-the-bag on TV and turns sideways to better show her… you know.

  17. 17.

    mrmobi

    September 6, 2006 at 4:01 pm

    The phrase “China syndrome” says that, given the right circumstances, a runaway reactor will burn through the floor of the containment vessel and into the ground below, possibly reaching the water table, at which point the blast of superheated steam created would cause an explosion that would send nuclear waste over a wide area.

    Yep, and Three Mile Island came a lot closer than anyone realized to doing just that. A lot of the problems that have occured are related to the fact that these plants use a lot of components which are “off the rack” for use in conventional plants, ignoring the fact that long-term exposure to radiation changes their working characteristics.

    When our government was initially pimping nuclear power, statements were made that it would be so inexpensive, it might be free! Later on, when it was beginning to be clearer that there might possibly be serious accidents, two intrepid lawmakers (Price-Anderson) wrote a super little piece of legislation that caps out any liability claims against the operators of these plants at $1,000 per individual. And people say government doesn’t work!

  18. 18.

    mrmobi

    September 6, 2006 at 4:02 pm

    I know that last post doesn’t have anything to do with Katherine Harris, but I did say “off the rack.”

  19. 19.

    Zifnab

    September 6, 2006 at 4:16 pm

    Katherine Harris 470,33449%
    Will McBride 288,09430%
    LeRoy Collins 145,63315%
    Peter Monroe 50,7975%

    No wonder Bush won Florida in ’00.

  20. 20.

    Kimmitt

    September 6, 2006 at 5:23 pm

    Just goes to show what ungrateful jerks the Republican establishment is. Harris gave the country to them, and they can’t even give her an Ambassadorship to shut her up.

  21. 21.

    Alan

    September 6, 2006 at 5:48 pm

    Oops, when I c/p the text it didn’t catch the space between the vote count and the percentage. It should look more like this:

    Katherine Harris   470,334   49%
    Will McBride         288,094    30%
    LeRoy Collins      145,633    15%
    Peter Monroe       50,797        5%

  22. 22.

    The Other Steve

    September 6, 2006 at 5:51 pm

    Now that everyone (even most Republican commentators) believe that Katherine Harris is a nut, it’s time to bring up the 2000 election recount. You know, the one where Katherine Harris was touted by Republicans as an objective, hard working and smart elected offical who would do her best to make sure the recount was correct? Anyone want to bet there’s reason to think she may have skewed the recount?

    It’s more clear than ever, that Harris was operating from self-belief rather than doing what was best by the State.

    Bush should have appointed her Ambassador to Chad. While it’s true we’d now be dealing with irate Chadians, at least that’s manageable… this Harris disaster is going to hurt the whole party. Wait a minute… is that a bad thing?

  23. 23.

    The Other Steve

    September 6, 2006 at 5:53 pm

    I was afraid Harris was going to lose the Primary. I’m so glad that my money to her campaign helped.

    Now we just need to send her some more money so she can get some television ads out there to help Nelson.

  24. 24.

    Zifnab

    September 6, 2006 at 6:18 pm

    It’s more clear than ever, that Harris was operating from self-belief rather than doing what was best by the State.

    If by “self-belief” you mean “promise to get a run at the Senate”, then yes, I agree. The only reason Harris is in this race at all is because she made a deal with the devil(see:Rove) to twist the voting process for a Bush win.

    Katherine Harris is living proof that you get what you pay for in politics. Honestly, 27 electoral votes for a seat in the senate wasn’t such a bad deal for the ‘Pubs. They don’t have room to complain.

  25. 25.

    The Asshole Formerly Known as GOP4Me

    September 6, 2006 at 7:07 pm

    This is the greatest spoof victory in American history.

    This is even better than that NOLA press conference.

    If I had 24 guns within my control, they’d be saluting right now.

  26. 26.

    pfrets

    September 6, 2006 at 7:18 pm

    Yeah, Tim, the “melting-through-to-China” thing was a jokey way of referring to what happens when a reactor core melts down, not meant to be an accurate description. The phrase “China syndrome” says that, given the right circumstances, a runaway reactor will burn through the floor of the containment vessel and into the ground below, possibly reaching the water table, at which point the blast of superheated steam created would cause an explosion that would send nuclear waste over a wide area. It doesn’t ignore what happens when it hits the water table, it describes what happens then.

    In the movie, they say that the core would melt thru to China, if NOT for the water table, hence ‘China Syndrome’.

    Hate to see what happens when Harris melts down and hits the water table. Or is it the other way around…Water hits Harris and she melts down (sorry, Wicked Witch)

  27. 27.

    Tsulagi

    September 6, 2006 at 7:19 pm

    There was never any danger of Katie losing the primary. Look what she brings to the table for The Base. She’s undeniably dumb, no credibility, corrupt, and thinks only Republican Christians like her should be in office. She’s a female Bush. Just brighter and more articulate.

  28. 28.

    lard lad

    September 6, 2006 at 11:27 pm

    I’ve heard that there is a video clip of Ms. Harris being interviewed where she is thrusting her newly bought bazooms out hard enough to throw her spine out of whack… you know, like a 14-year-old girl who just went up a cup size.

    Anyone know how to find that clip? I hear it’s a real screamer.

  29. 29.

    The Asshole Formerly Known as GOP4Me

    September 6, 2006 at 11:58 pm

    Anyone know how to find that clip? I hear it’s a real screamer.

    I think you mean this one.

  30. 30.

    The Asshole Formerly Known as GOP4Me

    September 7, 2006 at 12:07 am

    This one’s fun, too. She’s hitting on Rep. Rick Renzi on the floor of the US House of Representatives.

    The real question is if he really enjoyed it or not. He sure looks like he did, but I have my doubts.

  31. 31.

    The Asshole Formerly Known as GOP4Me

    September 7, 2006 at 12:14 am

    Then this site tries to argue she’s got a future as a MILF porn star. I was skeptical, but some of the photo links in the comments WERE a little racy.

    Okay, that’s enough Katherine Harris for one night/week/month/year/lifetime.

  32. 32.

    sglover

    September 7, 2006 at 9:26 am

    I can see how the sort of person who claims that Ann Coulter is physically attractive would think the same of Harris. Plus, for the fetishists, she seems to have that whole shameless self-abasement thing down….

  33. 33.

    The Asshole Formerly Known as GOP4Me

    September 7, 2006 at 9:55 am

    I can see how the sort of person who claims that Ann Coulter is physically attractive would think the same of Harris. Plus, for the fetishists, she seems to have that whole shameless self-abasement thing down….

    I think for a conservative Republican, to get into a three-way with Harris and Coulter is the greatest good you can aspire to.

  34. 34.

    Bombadil

    September 7, 2006 at 10:19 am

    I think for a conservative Republican, to get into a three-way with Harris and Coulter is the greatest good you can aspire to.

    Oh, Jeebus, TAFKAGOP4M — why did you have to plant that image in my brain! It hurts, it hurts!

  35. 35.

    Bombadil

    September 7, 2006 at 10:34 am

    Oh, and Tim?

    The self-correcting blogosphere in action! The movie didn’t take the China idea seriously either. My apologies if anybody involved with the movie reads this blog.

    That kind of conclusion-leaping should be left to the John Coles of the Right. Stick to movies you’ve actually seen.

  36. 36.

    The Asshole Formerly Known as GOP4Me

    September 7, 2006 at 10:45 am

    Oh, Jeebus, TAFKAGOP4M —why did you have to plant that image in my brain! It hurts, it hurts!

    Sorry. It wasn’t for you, it was for Senator Corky. After all he’s done for pie on this blog, I figured we sort of owe him one.

  37. 37.

    The Asshole Formerly Known as GOP4Me

    September 7, 2006 at 10:46 am

    Not that I’m a pie or anything, mind you. But I sure do like ’em. My favorite is pizza pie. What’s yours, Senator?

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