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You are here: Home / Politics / Grandpa Cheney

Grandpa Cheney

by John Cole|  December 6, 200610:16 pm| 65 Comments

This post is in: Politics

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I haven’t seen much yet about this:

Mary Cheney, a daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney, is expecting a baby with her partner of 15 years, Heather Poe, Mr. Cheney’s office said Wednesday.

Lea Anne McBride, a spokeswoman for Mr. Cheney, said the vice president and his wife, Lynne Cheney, were “looking forward with eager anticipation” to the baby’s birth, which is expected this spring and will bring to six the number of grandchildren the Cheneys have.

Mr. Cheney’s office would not provide details about how Mary Cheney became pregnant or by whom, and Ms. Cheney did not respond to messages left at her office and with her book publisher, Simon & Schuster.

The Times piece contains this blurb from Dobson’s Focus on the Family:

Focus on the Family, a Christian group that has provided crucial political support to President Bush, released a statement that criticized child rearing by same-sex couples.

“Mary Cheney’s pregnancy raises the question of what’s best for children,” said Carrie Gordon Earll, the group’s director of issues analysis. “Just because it’s possible to conceive a child outside of the relationship of a married mother and father doesn’t mean it’s the best for the child.”

I will try to document the inevitable freak-out.

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Reader Interactions

65Comments

  1. 1.

    DaveMon

    December 6, 2006 at 10:21 pm

    and yet they are silent on Ms. Spears child rearing adventures…

  2. 2.

    Pooh

    December 6, 2006 at 10:24 pm

    and yet they are silent on Ms. Spears child rearing adventures…

    Well, she obviously, you know, does it with boys. Boys who are manifestly losers. Given the guys we are talking about here, you do the math…

  3. 3.

    Andrew

    December 6, 2006 at 10:25 pm

    and yet they are silent on Ms. Spears child rearing adventures…

    They’re hoping that they still have chance to hit that shit. And they might.

  4. 4.

    SeesThroughIt

    December 6, 2006 at 10:36 pm

    Why does Mary Cheney hate families so much that she wants to start one?

  5. 5.

    alkali

    December 6, 2006 at 10:39 pm

    I will try to document the inevitable freak-out.

    I for one won’t hold you to that. The freak-out will be ugly; fortunately, the kid will be fine. Just look away.

  6. 6.

    just sayin'

    December 6, 2006 at 10:48 pm

    Waiting for the GOP denunciation of Focus like the one handed to John Edwards for mentioning Mary’s situation in ’04 in 5 – 4 – 3 -2 – 1 …

    [crickets]

  7. 7.

    Elvis Elvisberg

    December 6, 2006 at 10:50 pm

    Here’s some freakout for you. Kevin McCollough: “Cheney’s daughter who engages in lesbianism… is pregnant?”

    It’s surprising to see this much flipoutage over this from a guy who looks and sounds like a result of combining the genetic material of Rowan Atkinson and Jeff Gannon, but here it is.

    This development prompted some important questions…

    1. How did the exclusive sexual union of these two women bring about this conception?

    2. What does it mean, from a biological nature to realize that a man WAS in fact necessary for this conception to take place?

    3. What does it mean to the supposed “intimacy” that “two people share” which was intended by the Creator to be a function that creates life, to be forced to include a third party?

    4. Doesn’t it make a rather strong statement that biologically speaking, the sexual union these two women share – is in fact, scientifically speaking – inadequate?

    5. Is it healthy for a society to celebrate inadequate sexual unions that lead to everything except what it was designed to be?

    6. Knowing from scientific data that children excel best when given the full and natural parental structure of one mother and one father, is it moral to bring a child into such a scenario – purposefully, simply to stroke one’s own desire to have a child – sort of like a new handbag, or pair of shoes?

  8. 8.

    ThymeZone

    December 6, 2006 at 10:51 pm

    How dare we talk about the Cheneys’ private matters?

    This sort of thing is only public when the Dobsonites see fit to correct your life choices.

    Has this blog no Shamu? I mean, shame? I mean, shamalong-a-ding-dong?

  9. 9.

    PeterJ

    December 6, 2006 at 10:51 pm

    Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter is pregnant. That child is destined to become secretary-general of the United Nations.

  10. 10.

    Zifnab

    December 6, 2006 at 10:57 pm

    Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter is pregnant. That child is destined to become secretary-general of the United Nations the anti-Christ.

  11. 11.

    Zifnab

    December 6, 2006 at 11:03 pm

    This development prompted some important questions…

    1. Where do babies come from? How did the exclusive sexual union of these two women bring about this conception?

    2. Bet you two wish you had a penis. What does it mean, from a biological nature to realize that a man WAS in fact necessary for this conception to take place?

    3. I’ve got a penis. I feel fantastic. What does it mean to the supposed “intimacy” that “two people share” which was intended by the Creator to be a function that creates life, to be forced to include a third party?

    4. Without my penis, I would feel inadequate. Doesn’t it make a rather strong statement that biologically speaking, the sexual union these two women share – is in fact, scientifically speaking – inadequate?

    5. I disapprove of penis-less sex. Is it healthy for a society to celebrate inadequate sexual unions that lead to everything except what it was designed to be?

    6. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Children. Also, I like stroking my ego. Penis. Knowing from scientific data that children excel best when given the full and natural parental structure of one mother and one father, is it moral to bring a child into such a scenario – purposefully, simply to stroke one’s own desire to have a child – sort of like a new handbag, or pair of shoes?

  12. 12.

    ThymeZone

    December 6, 2006 at 11:07 pm

    I detect a theme to Zifnab’s post.

  13. 13.

    Bruce Moomaw

    December 6, 2006 at 11:08 pm

    No need to document the freak-out, John. Andrew Sullivan’s already doing that for you, and it is indeed living up to our expectations.

  14. 14.

    Chris Stevens

    December 6, 2006 at 11:14 pm

    This is great news for the Cheney family and as a Democrat and supporter of Gay rights issues, I really want to extend them my warmest congratulations! I am sure Mary Cheney and her partner will be wonderful parents.

    But on a political level, this exposes what everyone knows to be true. The Republican Party elite play by a different set of rules than they claim to believe in. The Evangelicals woke up last election and faced the innevitable fact that they are being used. VP Cheney is not anti gay, he is pro gay, he loves his daughter, which I think is great. He probably is not anti abortion either. Republican leaders believe in power and say whatever it takes to get it. Look at John McCain for example. He is busy sucking up to the likes of Jerry Falwell and Dobson. He used to dispise those guys and speak out about them publicly but now he wants to get elected so he has to have them on his side. Or does he? In November 30% of registered Evangelicals voted for Democrats. Why? Because they have been taken advantage of by Republicans and have more in common with Democrats on many issues (environment, poverty, health care for the elderly).

    My personal hope is that this news causes all Republicans to question their party’s position on Gay marriage and Gay families. Moderate Republicans should speak out strongly about being more tolerant and Conservative Republicans should realize that they are being taken advantage of.

  15. 15.

    The Liberal Avenger

    December 6, 2006 at 11:14 pm

    I heard that they used Barry Goldwater’s sperm.

  16. 16.

    The Liberal Avenger

    December 6, 2006 at 11:16 pm

    Harriet Miers’ sperm?

  17. 17.

    The Liberal Avenger

    December 6, 2006 at 11:16 pm

    Ann Coulter?

  18. 18.

    PeterJ

    December 6, 2006 at 11:18 pm

    Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter is pregnant. That child is destined to become secretary-general of the United Nations the anti-Christ.

    This also means that Rapture(tm) will have to be rescheduled. New estimate: 2039. Any tickets that were valid for Rapture 2006(tm) are now void and people interested in attending Rapture 2039(tm) shouldn’t apply for new tickets before 2038.

  19. 19.

    Zifnab

    December 6, 2006 at 11:55 pm

    Ann Coulter?

    I think we have to at least be talking about the same species here.

    Penis. I detect a theme to Zifnab’s post.

    I’m not going to lie to you, I just really like the strike-through mechanic.

  20. 20.

    Jackmormon

    December 7, 2006 at 12:02 am

    Apparently, the couple is having the child in Virginia, and state law there might make life a little hard for them.

    Okay, Virginia state law might make life hard for the average gay couple.

  21. 21.

    The Liberal Avenger

    December 7, 2006 at 1:04 am

    Mehlman?

  22. 22.

    Jon H

    December 7, 2006 at 1:20 am

    “They’re hoping that they still have chance to hit that shit. And they might.”

    Dude, ‘that shit’ has been in intimate unpantied contact with half the skanky vinyl upholstery in Vegas.

    They *don’t* want to go there.

  23. 23.

    Jon H

    December 7, 2006 at 1:22 am

    If there is a god, they asked Colbert to be the father.

    Or maybe they used a certain frothy mixture.

  24. 24.

    stickler

    December 7, 2006 at 2:11 am

    Oh, come on:

    I will try to document the inevitable freak-out.

    There will be no “freak-out,” just as there was none in 2004. By that, I mean, the right-wing noise machine will ignore this story. Scrupulously.

    Why? Because that machine is not ideological. It is designed to serve the Party of Power. Messages which do not serve that mission are shredded, tossed, composted. Mary Cheney used a turkey baster to get knocked up and live in sin with her harlot girlfriend?

    … aaahm, how does that build a case against Nancy Pelosi, again? Oh, it doesn’t? Well. Move along, then.

  25. 25.

    The Liberal Avenger

    December 7, 2006 at 2:57 am

    Jesse Malkin?

  26. 26.

    jake

    December 7, 2006 at 7:55 am

    That was quick. I caught the news in the Post yesterday and wondered when the radicals would begin leaping further up their own arseholes. Looks like they whacked off at the thought of two women “doing it,” washed their hands and got right to work. I have to address this question because it is fun to wind up homophobes:

    4. Doesn’t it make a rather strong statement that biologically speaking, the sexual union these two women share – is in fact, scientifically speaking – inadequate?

    Sure, just like any couple that has to go to a fertility clinic to hatch a sprog is “biologically and scientifically speaking” inadequate. Shall we mandate fertility tests for people who wish to marry? Maybe we should shut down the sperm and ovum banks. Hey, let’s just test everyone to make sure they can reproduce on demand and ship the duds off to the Yukon.

    [coyotes howl]

    There’s also that interesting story in the Bible where a woman has her maid servant get it on with her husband because the wife can’t get pregnant. Why didn’t they stone that bitch for being biologically & scientifically inadequate?

    [crickets chirp]

    Anyone care to lay bets that the people who go on about this the most have a lot of “Hot Girl on Girl Action” websites bookmarked on their computer? They’re not angry that Mary is a lesbian, they’re angry they don’t get to watch.

  27. 27.

    Bombadil

    December 7, 2006 at 8:05 am

    Another quote from Ms. Earll (via CNN.com):

    Carrie Gordon Earll, a policy analyst for the conservative Christian ministry Focus on the Family, expressed empathy for the Cheney family but depicted the pregnancy as unwise.

    “Just because you can conceive a child outside a one-woman, one-man marriage doesn’t mean it’s a good idea,” Earll said. “Love can’t replace a mother and a father.”

    Read that last line again:

    “Love can’t replace a mother and a father.”

    Somehow, I suspect that, while these people may have had both a father and a mother, they didn’t get much love, or they’d know better than to say something like that.

  28. 28.

    Bombadil

    December 7, 2006 at 8:07 am

    (Hit too early)

    Compare Earll’s comment with this:

    The news was welcomed by the president of the largest national gay-rights group, Joe Solmonese of the Human Rights Campaign.

    “Mary and Heather’s decision to have a child is an example that families in America come in all different shapes and sizes,” he said. “The bottom line is that a family is made up of love and commitment.”

    Which one seems more “Christian” to you — Earll or Solmonese?

  29. 29.

    The Other Steve

    December 7, 2006 at 8:42 am

    It is a Miracle!

    Never before have two women been able to conceive a child together. In the past it’s always required a man at some point.

  30. 30.

    sparky

    December 7, 2006 at 8:45 am

    hmmm… maybe Althouse was on to something–Padilla has goggles on so he couldn’t blink the errr third party’s name. or DNA.

  31. 31.

    Faux News

    December 7, 2006 at 9:42 am

    Someone on Wonkette had the best line: “the father is a jackal”.

  32. 32.

    Sam Wilkinson

    December 7, 2006 at 9:58 am

    How do the Social Conservatives opposed to this birth feel about abortion now? It seems like it must seem the intriguing possibility, as it would prevent this gay baby (gayby?) from ever suffering at the hands of two unloving lezzies. However, they know that they cannot stand for abortion, no matter the circumstance. Which is why they’re now, as we speak, organizing prayer drives for miscarriage. To protect the baby dammit!

  33. 33.

    AkaDad

    December 7, 2006 at 9:59 am

    Anyone care to lay bets that the people who go on about this the most have a lot of “Hot Girl on Girl Action” websites bookmarked on their computer?

    Can you back up that claim with numerous links?

    I think this needs further investigation, and I’m more than willing to do the research.

  34. 34.

    BarneyG2000

    December 7, 2006 at 10:06 am

    Let’s see the virgin Mary is bless with child at Christmas?

    Why would the right have a problem with this?

  35. 35.

    Krista

    December 7, 2006 at 10:14 am

    … aaahm, how does that build a case against Nancy Pelosi, again? Oh, it doesn’t? Well. Move along, then.

    Bingo. The right-wing will do their absolute best to ignore this, ’cause it doesn’t further their agenda in any way, shape or form. And as for any left-wing outlets that mention it, they’ll quickly be greeted with accusations of homophobia and hypocrisy. “You lefties are the ones getting all worked up about Mary Cheney’s baby! It just goes to show how ‘tolerant’ you all are!”

  36. 36.

    Bombadil

    December 7, 2006 at 10:27 am

    “You lefties are the ones getting all worked up about Mary Cheney’s baby! It just goes to show how ‘tolerant’ you all are!”

    While that may sound a tad hyperbolic, it’s spot on. Note the reaction after incoming majority leader Steny Hoyer announced that the House of Represnetatives will no longer be on a (Republican) three-day work week beginning in the next term, but will instead be expected to put in a full five-day week:

    “Keeping us up here eats away at families,” said Rep. Jack Kingston (R-Ga.), who typically flies home on Thursdays and returns to Washington on Tuesdays. “Marriages suffer. The Democrats could care less about families — that’s what this says.”

  37. 37.

    pie

    December 7, 2006 at 10:31 am

    Dubya? What if Dubya’s the father? Is that okay with you, America?

  38. 38.

    RSA

    December 7, 2006 at 10:33 am

    Is it moral to bring a child into such a scenario – purposefully, simply to stroke one’s own desire to have a child – sort of like a new handbag, or pair of shoes?

    I don’t think anyone, even in the Cheney family, would go to such lengths for exotic leather fashion accessories.

  39. 39.

    The Other Steve

    December 7, 2006 at 10:35 am

    I don’t think anyone, even in the Cheney family, would go to such lengths for exotic leather fashion accessories.

    Certainly not.

    They’d just shoot themselves a lawyer.

  40. 40.

    AkaDad

    December 7, 2006 at 10:37 am

    I so hope Jonah Goldberg isn’t the father…

  41. 41.

    Sirkowski

    December 7, 2006 at 10:40 am

    What kind of evil will come out of a Republican dyke’s vagina?

  42. 42.

    RSA

    December 7, 2006 at 10:44 am

    They’d just shoot themselves a lawyer.

    “Natural irregularities in the finished leather, such as occasional traces of healed minor cuts and scratches [and buckshot holes] should be regarded as proof of authenticity and quality.”

  43. 43.

    pie

    December 7, 2006 at 10:49 am

    They’d just shoot themselves a lawyer.

    Hey! Maybe this is how they made it up to that guy after the quail-hunting mishap! (I know he was old, but…)

  44. 44.

    pie

    December 7, 2006 at 10:50 am

    I so hope Jonah Goldberg isn’t the father…

    Is Tucker Carlson acceptable? What about Dubya?

    What kind of evil will come out of a Republican dyke’s vagina?

    Our 55th, and final, President.

  45. 45.

    RSA

    December 7, 2006 at 10:55 am

    What kind of evil will come out of a Republican dyke’s vagina?

    In a parallel world, this would be the tag line for a classic horror movie in the giallo style.

  46. 46.

    chopper

    December 7, 2006 at 10:59 am

    5. Is it healthy for a society to celebrate inadequate sexual unions that lead to everything except what it was designed to be?

    so i assume that mccoullagh, being a good christian and all, will stop doing his wife after he starts shootin’ blanks?

  47. 47.

    Tsulagi

    December 7, 2006 at 11:10 am

    I’m not very religious, but these past few months have made me a firmer believer in karma. And sometimes it can be a bitch, and she slaps. Just ask “honor and integrity” Republican stalwarts of family values like Foley, Haggard, Cunningham, Ney, DeLay…

    So now mini-me Darth Vader’s lesbian daughter is knocked up. The family values base is aghast. A cherry on top would be if the Bush twins came back from Argentina both preggers from the same bisexual tango dancer during a one night menage a trois. Please, Jesus.

    Well, maybe Mary Cheney could tell the Spongebob and Happy Feet hating base she got pregnant via immaculate conception. That Dobsonites now have a modern day Virgin Mary in their midst. They should be shouting hallelujah!… not stone the bitch. Or she could simply fall back on the Democrats would be worse meme. The 11th commandment for the base. That’d work.

  48. 48.

    Zifnab

    December 7, 2006 at 11:15 am

    “Keeping us up here eats away at families,” said Rep. Jack Kingston (R-Ga.), who typically flies home on Thursdays and returns to Washington on Tuesdays. “Marriages suffer. The Democrats could care less about families—that’s what this says.”

    Remind me again how much longer Rep. Kingston thinks we should keep married troops in Iraq. Maybe he just thinks they’re all on a three-day work week.

  49. 49.

    Jake

    December 7, 2006 at 11:41 am

    so i assume that mccoullagh, being a good christian and all, will stop doing his wife after he starts shootin’ blanks?

    How dare you suggest a man’s holy rod of power ever stop functioning? May the ghost of Strom Thurmond’s non-stop willie haunt you for a hundred years.

    Here’s how it works: Once wifey starts “the change” the relationship ceases to be adequate “biologically speaking.” There is no point keeping a tapped out old bag around so he is allowed to trade her in for a newer, fertile model. Thus he continues to show his devotion to family values by starting a new family. The same applies to very sick or disabled wives. Just ask Newt Gingrich or John McCain.

    Thems the rules.

  50. 50.

    Pb

    December 7, 2006 at 12:26 pm

    Remind me again how much longer Rep. Kingston thinks we should keep married troops in Iraq. Maybe he just thinks they’re all on a three-day work week.

    Or shorter, hopefully–gotta fly home for the weekends!

  51. 51.

    Krista

    December 7, 2006 at 12:35 pm

    Is it healthy for a society to celebrate inadequate sexual unions that lead to everything except what it was designed to be?

    Golden anniversary celebrations: a symbol of everything that is wrong with our culture.

    Why are so many on the right so weirdly obsessed with procreation?

  52. 52.

    RSA

    December 7, 2006 at 12:48 pm

    Remind me again how much longer Rep. Kingston thinks we should keep married troops in Iraq. Maybe he just thinks they’re all on a three-day work week.

    Maybe this is a harbinger of Bush’s next strategy for the Middle East (“With new stay-the-course action!”): a war waged entirely by remote, Blackberry-controlled Predator drones.

  53. 53.

    Elvis Elvisberg

    December 7, 2006 at 2:01 pm

    Why are so many on the right so weirdly obsessed with procreation?

    It’s their fallback, what they say out loud, every time they’re daydreaming about homosexual sodomy. Sweet, sweet sodomy.

  54. 54.

    Tom in Texas

    December 7, 2006 at 2:49 pm

    I really liked Polimom’s take on this. She’s a displaced Orleanian/recently arrived in Houston blogger who recently began posting on TMV, after hosting her own blog and one on the Houston Chronicle website.

  55. 55.

    Jake

    December 7, 2006 at 3:15 pm

    “Love can’t replace a mother and a father.”

    Earll went on to say:

    Because appearances are all that matter damn it. So what if my husband works late, a lot, and hasn’t touched me in years and once he had these scratches all over his back… [sobs] Who cares if he forgets the kids names and birthdays and spends the weekend at the office and once a woman called here and asked for him and laughed real hard when I said I was his wife. [chokes] It doesn’t matter one bit, because we are a family just like Leave it to Beaver and no amount of love or kindness or bringing me flowers can change that. [swigs from bottle of Stoli]

  56. 56.

    Matt

    December 7, 2006 at 3:17 pm

    I dunno, John, maybe we ought to just congratulate them and leave it at that.

  57. 57.

    docg

    December 7, 2006 at 3:41 pm

    Well, I’m confused. It would appear that this Cheney union is one Dick short of procreation.

  58. 58.

    Rusty Shackleford

    December 7, 2006 at 5:10 pm

    jake Says:

    There’s also that interesting story in the Bible where a woman has her maid servant get it on with her husband because the wife can’t get pregnant. Why didn’t they stone that bitch for being biologically & scientifically inadequate?

    December 7th, 2006 at 7:55 am

    Mmmmmmm, maid servants.

  59. 59.

    Zifnab

    December 7, 2006 at 5:11 pm

    If Clinton hadn’t had sex with that intern, this never would have happened.

  60. 60.

    Darrell

    December 8, 2006 at 10:28 am

    I will try to document the inevitable freak-out.

    Well document it then.. I’ve seen little reaction from the right side of the political spectrum to Mary Cheney’s pregnancy. Even that Focus on the Family quote was rather ho-hum. C’mon John, it’s been a while since you accused the right of gay “bashing” (opposition to legalization of same sex marriage = gay bashing)

  61. 61.

    Bombadil

    December 8, 2006 at 10:39 am

    Even that Focus on the Family quote was rather ho-hum.

    “Love can’t replace a mother and a father.”

    That’s not “ho hum”. That’s “seriously fucked up”.

    Not that you’d know the difference.

  62. 62.

    Darrell

    December 8, 2006 at 11:02 am

    “Love can’t replace a mother and a father.”

    I don’t know where that quote came from. It certainly wasn’t cited in John’s post. Did you make it up (ie. lie your ass off) for dramatic effect?

  63. 63.

    Bombadil

    December 8, 2006 at 11:16 am

    Did you make it up (ie. lie your ass off) for dramatic effect?

    No.

  64. 64.

    Bombadil

    December 8, 2006 at 11:23 am

    BTW, it’s nice to know that some things are completely predictable, like Darrell making a complete and utter ass of himself.

  65. 65.

    skip

    December 8, 2006 at 3:07 pm

    Darrell has it on good authority that if this were Chelsea Clinton the rumpot Reverends would consider it far too sensitive to bring up.

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