Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Thanks for reminding me that Van Jones needs to be slapped.

Trump’s legal defense is going to be a dumpster fire inside a clown car on a derailing train.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Come on, man.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

An unpunished coup is a training exercise.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

We’re not going back!

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

The revolution will be supervised.

He really is that stupid.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

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68Comments

  1. 1.

    The Other Steve

    Bush = Jesus

    Redstate has declared that Bush is the equivalent of Jesus, and the seventeen Republicans who voted against escalation in the House are symbolic of the seventeen pieces of gold Judas was paid to betray Jesus Christ.

    By betraying Bush, they have betrayed Jesus.

  2. 2.

    Zifnab

    Republicans who voted against escalation in the House are symbolic of the seventeen pieces of gold Judas was paid to betray Jesus Christ.

    That’s thirty pieces of silver you stupid godless leftard. Basically, Red State is saying that not only did Bush get sold out, he got sold out for cheaper than Jesus. That makes him even more holy.

  3. 3.

    Andrew

    A gold piece is worth 10 silver pieces. With the crazy inflation in fire-proof dwarf armor, it’s not even worth picking up the silver pieces anymore. Get some platinum and then we’re talking.

  4. 4.

    Andrew

    Forget President Bush. How about the soldiers who will die as a result of less equipment or more emboldened enemies?

    Is “emboldening” some sort of new superpower? Can Nancy Pelosi cast an embolden spell upon al qaeda? Does she need to use Christian baby blood as a reagent?

  5. 5.

    Punchy

    Any of you clowns realize how much 17 pieces of gold are worth? I’d sell out my mom for a handful of those dubloons. Price of gold and all…

    With such clear cost analysis, risk assessment, and a knack for selling at the high watermark, I’d make Judas my investment banker. So a decent carpenter went riggy morty thanks to his mapquest-esque betrayal of Jesus’s whereabouts…Catholicism is messy…

  7. 7.

    Zifnab

    Catholicism is messy…

    You go to crusade with the believers you have, not the believers you wish you had.

  8. 8.

    Pb

    Can Nancy Pelosi cast an embolden spell upon al qaeda?

    Well it sounds sort of like “Empower”, but maybe you’re looking for “Remove Fear“? Of course, when Bill Maher pointed out that they were pretty emboldened already, he got fired, so go figure:

    We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That’s cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it’s not cowardly.

  9. 9.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    Redstate has declared that Bush is the equivalent of Jesus, and the seventeen Republicans who voted against escalation in the House are symbolic of the seventeen pieces of gold Judas was paid to betray Jesus Christ.

    By betraying Bush, they have betrayed Jesus.

    This is the spoofiest thing ever.

    Spoof is now dead, and in dying, it has achieved both rebirth and immortality. Like the mighty phoenix incinerating itself that its offspring might arise from the ashes, so has Redstate murdered spoof that others might emulate the very spoofiness used as a murder weapon.

    The wheel of spoof has come full circle; I am here.

  10. 10.

    Andrew

    One might go so far as to say that spoof has had its head removed and preserved in a jar, while its zombified body continues to rampage across the northern wastes.

  12. 12.

    zzyzx

    Georgian State Representative issues memo calling evolution a Jewish plot

    “Indisputable evidence — long hidden but now available to everyone — demonstrates conclusively that so-called ‘secular evolution science’ is the Big-Bang 15-billion-year alternate ‘creation scenario’ of the Pharisee Religion,” the memo says. “This scenario is derived concept-for-concept from Rabbinic writings in the mystic ‘holy book’ Kabbala dating back at least two millennia.”

    The memo calls on lawmakers to introduce legislation that would end the teaching of evolution in public schools because it is “a deception that is causing incalculable harm to every student and every truth-loving citizen.”

    It also directs readers to a Web site http://www.fixedearth.com, which includes model legislation that calls the Kabbala “a mystic, anti-Christ ‘holy book’ of the Pharisee Sect of Judaism.” The Web site also declares “the earth is not rotating … nor is it going around the sun.”

  13. 13.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    One might go so far as to say that spoof has had its head removed and preserved in a jar, while its zombified body continues to rampage across the northern wastes.

    In this case, it’s as if the body has found the jar and reunited with its head. If only such a fate could befall me, I’d be a happy zombie elf indeed. Maybe next Christmas. Christmas is a time for miracles, especially for the rich kids. And Santa happens to be very, very rich indeed, rich in cheers and smiles and laughs and hundreds of millions of dollars in Krugerrands.

    Ho ho ho, bitches!

  14. 14.

    Richard 23

    Global warming is like eugenics:

    “Global Warming” had a precursor in capturing the hearts and minds of the world. Michael Crichton, in his novel “State of Fear,” brilliantly juxtaposes the world’s current political embrace of “global warming” with the popular embrace of the “science” of eugenics a century ago. For nearly 50 years, from the late 1800s through the first half of the 20th century, there grew a common political acceptance by the world’s thinkers, political leaders and media elite that the “science” of eugenics was settled science. There were a few lonely voices trying to be heard in the wilderness in opposition to this bogus science, but they were ridiculed or ignored.

    Furthermore, if the global warming fraud (see also Y2k) is not stomped out soon, here’s what we have to look forward to:

    The result was that 60,000 Americans were sterilized with twenty-nine states passing laws allowing sterilization.

    I think it’s a logical argument that merits consideration.

  15. 15.

    Punchy

    The memo calls on lawmakers to introduce legislation that would end the teaching of evolution in public schools because it is “a deception that is causing incalculable harm to every student and every truth-loving citizen.”

    If this really is the criteria for what should/shouldn’t be taught, can we dump calculus, English Lit, and Econ 101? Seriously, just how many tears has Sir Isaac and his dammed “conical” shapes caused Joe Highschooler?

  16. 16.

    zzyzx

    richard – I was about to post that article. I think we all can agree that there’s no difference between an opinion held by politicans and scientific research. Eugenics proves that airplanes couldn’t possibly work because if the word “science” was misused once, it must always be wrong.

  18. 18.

    Zifnab

    Furthermore, if the global warming fraud (see also Y2k) is not stomped out soon, here’s what we have to look forward to:

    The result was that 60,000 Americans were sterilized with twenty-nine states passing laws allowing sterilization.

    I think it’s a logical argument that merits consideration.

    So if we don’t stop the GW fraud, someone’s going to chop off my beans and frank?

    It’s also worth noting that the Y2K bug wasn’t a problem because we spent millions of man-hours fixing it. In fact, the price tag for Y2K was approximately $300 million. So we didn’t just sit on our laurels while Y2K swept over us, but instead took a very proactive and responsible approach to fixing it.

    Whatever may be said of Y2K, it was no fraud. So please get your facts straight.

  19. 19.

    Richard 23

    zzyzx, yes I think it’s an interesting way to think about global warming hysteria, if that’s what you meant.

    I know the leftists here like to make fun of red state, but it really is a good compilation of mainstream moderate views.

  21. 21.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    I know the leftists here like to make fun of red state, but it really is a good compilation of mainstream moderate views.

    That’s because the leftists around here are completely unhinged. To them, anyone to the right of Trotsky is no different from Hitler- itself a fatuous comparison, as Hitler was himself a Socialist and pretty much as far left as Trotsky on the political scale.

  23. 23.

    Richard 23

    ZSC, I think you got it about right. Which reminds me, Hitler was a proponent of eugenics so I think Zifnab has more to worry about than his “beans and frank” if the global warming eco-nuts take things to their logical conclusion. :-(

    Good news:

    Full Disclosure: Leon Wolf is the E-Campaign Coordinator for the Sam Brownback for President Campaign.

    Red State at least recognizes who the next president will be.

  24. 24.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    ZSC, I think you got it about right. Which reminds me, Hitler was a proponent of eugenics so I think Zifnab has more to worry about than his “beans and frank” if the global warming eco-nuts take things to their logical conclusion.

    Good point. Anyone who uses science in any way, shape or form is no different from Hitler. (Unless they have no choice because their disembodied head is wired up to a machine, like mine is.)

    Leon Wolf is the E-Campaign Coordinator for the Sam Brownback for President Campaign.

    Red State at least recognizes who the next president will be.

    Amen. God be praised!

  25. 25.

    Krista

    Bush = Jesus

    Redstate has declared that Bush is the equivalent of Jesus, and the seventeen Republicans who voted against escalation in the House are symbolic of the seventeen pieces of gold Judas was paid to betray Jesus Christ.

    By betraying Bush, they have betrayed Jesus.

    Meanwhile, up in Heaven, Jesus (not TZ’s yard guy) says, “You have GOT to be freaking kidding me…”

  27. 27.

    Andrew

    Whatever may be said of Y2K, it was no fraud. So please get your facts straight.

    It was like pork for the IT electorate!

  28. 28.

    Jake

    It was like pork for the IT electorate!

    Which is the only porking IT geeks ever get.

    There were a few lonely voices trying to be heard in the wilderness in opposition to this bogus science, but they were ridiculed or ignored.

    Because those people were proto-moonbats and tended to oppose things like racism. Filty pre-hippies! However the lonely voices argument can also be applied to such things as anti-biotics, vaccinations, anesthetic, antiseptic, women’s sufferage, desegregation, the current view of the Solar System…I bet they laughed at the first guy who touted the wonders of fire. Clearly all of that stuff is bad and evil so we should get rid of it, starting with Michael “Jurassic Whore” Crichton’s PC and then hand ourselves back to the Brits because who wants to be part of a country founded by a few whackjob deadbeats who didn’t want to pay their taxes?

  29. 29.

    chopper

    on a lighter note, despite having a fossil of a dentist who looks like he just came out of retirement, my upper wisdom teeth are out.

    of course, the guy screwed up the novocaine on one side so i felt pretty much all of it, which was great cause he really twisted the damn thing to get it out.

    now i know why my dad hates the dentist with the red-hot intensity of a thousand suns. hell.

  30. 30.

    ThymeZone

    When will Bush unveil his plan to “embolden” the Iraqis to start taking care of their own fucking country?

    If nancy Pelosi with her miniscule powers can embolden Ali Baba, I mean Al Qaeda, then sure Bush with his might Decider powers can embolden the good guys?

  31. 31.

    ThymeZone

    Redstate has declared that Bush is the equivalent of Jesus

    Clever, but off point. What Redstate HAS done is followed the patently anti-democratic Bush-GOP line that we have gotten so used to, we don’t even notice it any more.

    Americans weren’t up to understanding the reasons for a war with Iraq, so we had to invent a mushroom cloud.

    Americans weren’t up to judging whether WMDs had been hyped to get the war, so we had to invent Syria, or a comedy routine, or outrage against Joe Wilson, to distract them.

    Americans weren’t up to judging the effect of the war on their interests, so Bush declared himself immune to polls and above the law.

    Americans weren’t up to judging the real threats against them so we produced DHS and its Threat Color Code and made-up “interceptions” of phony terrorist threats in order to scare them.

    Americans now are not qualified to elect a new congress with a mandate to do something about the Iraq war, and so we have to declare disloyal congressmen to be betrayers of Jesus NMYM.

    The GOP clearly doesn’t trust Americans. Which is fine with me, I don’t trust the GOP, either. I’d as soon send them all to the mountains of Pakistan as look at them, at this point. Get out, leave us alone.

    (Redstate) really is a good compilation of mainstream moderate views.

    Uh no, it is the constant farting of insane crazy motherfuckers who don’t belong in America.

  32. 32.

    demimondian

    (Redstate) really is a good compilation of mainstream moderate views.

    Uh no, it is the constant farting of insane crazy motherfuckers who don’t belong in America.

    TZ, don’t tell me, let me guess — you were the kid that the local opinion leaders always sent off on snipe hunts, right? And you always accepted the blame for not finding any, because “you must have made too much noise”, I’ll bet.

  33. 33.

    Krista

    If nancy Pelosi with her miniscule powers can embolden Ali Baba, I mean Al Qaeda, then sure Bush with his might Decider powers can embolden the good guys?

    Good point.

  34. 34.

    Andrew

    Good point.

    No way, canukistani.

    Pelosi already cast “Protection from Good” on all of al qaeda and so they made their saving throw versus W’s disintegration ray.

  35. 35.

    ThymeZone

    TZ, don’t tell me, let me guess—you were the kid

    I was the kid with the chemistry set and the darkroom.

    I was the kid with the shortwave radio.

    I was the kid with the money, because I raised pedigreed dogs, carried papers, and did other jobs for pay.

    I was the kid you hated.

  38. 38.

    demimondian

    I was the kid with the chemistry set and the darkroom.

    I was the kid with the shortwave radio.

    I was the kid with the money, because I raised pedigreed dogs, carried papers, and did other jobs for pay.

    Right — you were the kid who was so insecure that he ran off on snipe hunts.

  39. 39.

    ThymeZone

    Right—you were the kid who was so insecure that he ran off on snipe hunts.

    Really, your record of making shit up and having no idea what you are talking about remains perfect.

    How do you do it? It’s an art.

    Your Village Idiot character is on a roll, dude.

  41. 41.

    demimondian

    Your Village Idiot character is on a roll, dude.

    Oh, so you were the insecure geek who not only went off on snipe hunts, you laughed at the ones who told you “You know, I went and looked it up, Herb, and there’s no such things as a snipe”, too?

    Wow. I haven’t met many people who were such -thorough losers- trusting followers when they were children.

  43. 43.

    Richard Bottoms

    The issue of importance right now is veterans health care.

    It is to the Republicans in general what Katrina was to Bush in particular.

    The next news conference Harry Reid should hold is out front of Walter Reed hospital to announce congressinal investigations into every facet of care for the wounded.

  45. 45.

    Punchy

    of course, the guy screwed up the novocaine on one side so i felt pretty much all of it, which was great cause he really twisted the damn thing to get it out.

    A friend of mine tried to go Ms. Macho with her impacted ones, so she insisted they localize but did not generalize her pain meds. She apparently forgot to consider the sound of a tooth being grounded down to nothing. She nearly went into shock at the sight and sound of blood, saliva, and toothy bits flailing out of her top hole. Needless to say, she got the general very soon afterwards.

    (Anyone else find it ironic that the guy named “chopper” is complaining about a dentist?)

  46. 46.

    Hyperion

    there’s no such things as a snipe

    but demi, there is. and i saw one at magnuson park this year during the xmas birdcount. according to wiki:

    “A Snipe is any of nearly 20 very similar wading bird species”

  47. 47.

    chopper

    (Anyone else find it ironic that the guy named “chopper” is complaining about a dentist?)

    well, pulling teeth sans novocaine is something to complain about.

    seriously, that hurt like the dickens.

  48. 48.

    Zifnab

    The next news conference Harry Reid should hold is out front of Walter Reed hospital to announce congressinal investigations into every facet of care for the wounded.

    Only a person who hates our troops would question their medical coverage.

  49. 49.

    demimondian

    but demi, there is [such a thing as a snipe]. and i saw one at magnuson park this year during the xmas birdcount

    Hush! No telling!

    (But seriously, cool! I didn’t know that there was a bird count at Magnusen Park each year.)

  51. 51.

    Dug Jay

    Here’s a portion of a weekend post on Pandagon by the ever popular gal pal of John Cole, Ms. Amanda Marcotte:

    “My take on the whole thing then and now is that there’s nothing inherently degrading about blow jobs…”

  52. 52.

    Zifnab

    “My take on the whole thing then and now is that there’s nothing inherently degrading about blow jobs…”

    Now, if she can say the same about male stripping, she can finally put her money where her mouth is.

    Also, Amanda, you’ve got something on your check. Kleanex?

  53. 53.

    Punchy

    “My take on the whole thing then and now is that there’s nothing inherently degrading about blow jobs…”

    (tires squealing, heading off to nearest engagement ring store)

  54. 54.

    Perry Como

    “My take on the whole thing then and now is that there’s nothing inherently degrading about blow jobs…”

    I agree. I never feel degraded when I get one.

  55. 55.

    Jake

    Hugh Hewitt meets General William Odom. And limps away with his arse in a bucket.

    HH: Did you see Cambodia coming, General?

    [General William Odom]: And following — let me ask you. Are you enthusiastic enough to put on a uniform and go?

    HH: No. I’m a civilian.

    WO: Okay, but we can recruit you.

    HH: I’m 51, General.

    WO: And I don’t see all these war hawks that want to — none of them have been in a war, and they don’t want to go.

    Emphasis mine.

    WTFF? Where the pox infected hell does Screwitt think soldiers come from? Ranches? Trees? Special camoflage wearing storks?

  56. 56.

    Krista

    “My take on the whole thing then and now is that there’s nothing inherently degrading about blow jobs…”

    Well…um…there isn’t.

  57. 57.

    Richard 23

    Does Dug Jay feel degraded by blow jobs, when he receives or performs them? Because, while she may be shrill feminazi moonbat, I find nothing to disagree with Marcotte there. I guess that shows how moderate I am.

  59. 59.

    Andrew

    I find nothing to disagree with Marcotte there. I guess that shows how moderate I am.

    This sounds gay. And not in a casual, summer camp late one night in the cabin sort of way. More like a Ted Haggard rimming meth off a make prostitute sort of way.

  60. 60.

    Perry Como

    This sounds gay. And not in a casual, summer camp late one night in the cabin sort of way.

    So sayeth Scout Master Andrew.

  61. 61.

    tBone

    And not in a casual, summer camp late one night in the cabin sort of way.

    You went to a Boy Scout campout with Darrell, didn’t you?

  62. 62.

    tBone

    More like a Ted Haggard rimming meth off a male prostitute sort of way.

    This isn’t really fair. Haggard is 100% straight now. Even if he’s still rimming meth off male prostitutes, it’s just because he hasn’t been treated for his drug problem yet.

  63. 63.

    Andrew

    You went to a Boy Scout campout with Darrell, didn’t you?

    It was rather sweet, until he started yelling about how we were gonna go to hell because of those three dozen times behind the outhouse.

  65. 65.

    Richard 23

    “Rimming meth?” Is that a typo or is that some kind of ‘druggie’ lingo? Since drugs are illegal I’d never even dream of trying them. The law is there for a reason.

    Hopefully Mr Haggard has been cured of his “rimming meth” habit. I’ve heard it’s as addictive and hard to “kick” as pornography.

  66. 66.

    Punchy

    “Rimming meth?” Is that a typo or is that some kind of ‘druggie’ lingo?

    De Nile is a river in…fuck if I know.

  67. 67.

    Richard 23

    Well, I’ve heard of donkey punch. Is that where you got your name?

    Or are you a former (or current) boxer? At Wal*Mart, LOL.

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