Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Every decision we make has lots of baggage with it, known or unknown.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

Beware of advice from anyone for whom Democrats are “they” and not “we.”

It’s possible to be a liberal firebrand without crapping on the party.

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

This blog will pay for itself.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

“Facilitate” is an active verb, not a weasel word.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Fucking consultants! (of the political variety)

The National Guard is not Batman.

You cannot shame the shameless.

The real work of an opposition party is to oppose.

Boeing: repeatedly making the case for high speed rail.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Conservatism: there are people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

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53Comments

  2. 2.

    Barrasso

    If you think that was bad go ahead and sit through Rich Little’s comedy routine at the WH corrospondants dinner. If Rich Little was actually funny he would have come up onto stage with a perfect Stephen Colbert impression and destroyed the whole bunch again.

  3. 3.

    funkyb0ss

    I’m reminded of…

    Homer’s Brain: Use reverse psychology.
    Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated.
    Homer’s Brain: Okay, don’t use reverse psychology.
    Homer: Okay, I will!

  4. 4.

    Andrew

    It’s a bit like a retarded pedophile had a grab bag of stereotypical traits to choose from.

  7. 7.

    Kirby

    You know how when you tell children not to do something, they still have to do it to learn for themselves.

    I still do that and I’m 32.

    I need to go have a shower after watching that.

  9. 9.

    DougJ

    Good God. I wonder if they’re showing that to the prisoners in Gitmo.

    But I think that overall the new David Broder column is worse. Remember: this is coming from someone who _likes_ George Will and Bob Novak.

  10. 10.

    DougJ

    I didn’t click it.

    What do I win?

    A savings of thousands of dollars in therapy bills. It is the stupidest video clip I have ever seen in my life. And I saw some Nickleback videos on VH1 a few months ago, so I know from stupid videos.

  12. 12.

    bago

    Nickel: If I only had my self for everytime I was mis-spelled.

    That’d be a lot of dead kittens.

  13. 13.

    Nikki

    And of course, at Hot Air, the commenters are saying that it’s hilarious and so very clever. Why do they keep encouraging her to keep embarrassing herself?

  14. 14.

    Scruffy McSnufflepuss

    But I think that overall the new David Broder column is worse. Remember: this is coming from someone who likes George Will and Bob Novak.

    Writing a centrist spoof never got easier, though. Just quote Broder ad nauseam. Toss in some Tom Friedman quotes to spice it up a little, and some MoDo irrelevancy to perfect it. Let’s try:

    Yes, friends, both sides have their crooks and thier kooks. Alberto Gonzalez fired 8 US Attorneys for political reasons. Harry Reid thinks the War in Iraq is lost. Luckily, the sensible Americans from both sides of the aisle can still meet in the middle and resolve the real problems of the country while those screaming fools and scurrilous crooks occupy the far fringes of the political spectrum. Given another 6 months or so, I expect Gonzalez to be out of the White House, and a decent Democrat like Joe Lieberman to be leading his colleagues in the Senate.

    Now, can we please focus on something more important than politically-motivated firings or a major land war, something like the idiosyncrasies of Democratic Presidential candidates? I don’t trust a man who spends more than $30 on his haircut to lead this nation in wartime, I know that for sure!

  15. 15.

    jake

    Nikki Says:

    And of course, at Hot Air, the commenters are saying that it’s hilarious and so very clever. Why do they keep encouraging her to keep embarrassing herself?

    They’re hoping her skirt will fly up a little higher the next time (C’mon baby, do a cartwheel). I’m surprised the MM Fan Club had strength to comment at all after the complete sexual overload her little vid must have caused.

    If Malkin and President Bush ever appear together at a social function, it might spell the end of the art of dance as we know it.

  16. 16.

    Punchy

    Cole linking to Wonkette? Good. God. I’m currently waiting for the sun to rise in the West, and yes, I am seeing porcine feathers in my backyard…

    Honestly, the best comments on any blog anywhere are the Wonkette commenters. Amateur stand up comedians, the lot of ’em.

  17. 17.

    scarshapedstar

    And of course, at Hot Air, the commenters are saying that it’s hilarious and so very clever. Why do they keep encouraging her to keep embarrassing herself?

    Well, it’s only a matter of time before her commenters start asking the big question…

    “Is there any nudity in it?”

  18. 18.

    Marcus Wellby

    What do you expect from the current crop of conservative thinkers? This is what your party has become, a mixture of religious nuts and rabid maroons — embrace the suck.

  19. 19.

    p.lukasiak

    obviously, Malkin was jealous of all the attention that Althouse got from her “American Idol review” video, and raised the bar on wingnut stupidity another notch — or six.

  20. 20.

    Chad N. Freude

    She’s been pining for Harry to ask her to go to the prom (the theme this year is “Congressional Hearings Mad Fun”), but he only has eyes for that stuck-up bitch Nancy. So she’s taking time out from rehearsing the “Go-o-o-o Alberto!” half-time routine to avenge herself. That’ll show that mean Harry. The irony is that she doesn’t realize that Karl, the smartest kid in school with an absolute lock on being valedictorian, dude, follows her around the halls with the look of a love-sick calf, afraid to ask her to the prom because she’s so-o-o-o cool that she’d never be seen with him.

  21. 21.

    Mean Gene

    Funny, I knew what you were talking about and I didn’t even need to click the link. What else could it be?

    And Fox News puts her on TV and gives her a forum. People actually think she’s someone they should listen to. Our democracy…it’s probably doomed.

    Hard to imagine, say, Lara Logan doing something like that, isn’t it? And still being looked upon as a credible journalist?

    Though, come to think of it, Lara Logan is incredibly attractive. Bad example. And now I can’t concentrate. Damn.

  27. 27.

    Zifnab

    One moment…

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *doubles over* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *cough* *weeze* *gasp*

    Oh, man. That was comedy fucking gold. With the six-grade pig tails? And the gymnastic talent of my grandmother? And the screachy voice of a dying cat? Hil-arious!

    I might actually start visiting her site if she keeps posting these. Can they put this on a loop and play it on FOX News for a few weeks? I think… hehehehe… I think this would really benefit society. Oh man. Fucking great.

  28. 28.

    uh_clem

    Ok. I clicked on the link and lived to tell about it.

    Was this actually Malkin herself doing the Cheri Oteri wanna-be thing? Or did she hire some unfortunate underling to do the dirty work? I guess I could watch the video again, but man my sides are still sore from laughing at it the first time.

  29. 29.

    Tsulagi

    My God, I have witnessed the mother gene pool of the 28%ers, and the pinnacle of its life potential.

  30. 30.

    Faux News

    “Goatse.cx has moved?”

    Ah the halcyon days of fuckedcompany.com. Actually both Goatse and MM are wide gaping assholes so it is an apt observation.

    I do feel badly for the few real Conservatives left in the Republican Party. From David Hume, Edward Burke, and William Buckley to Mann Coulter, and her cheerleader M. Malkin. I would pay money to see George Will’s reaction as he views that stunning piece of liberal PWNED-age as delivered by Miss Malkin.

  31. 31.

    DougJ

    Do we know for a fact that Malkin didn’t do this under duress? Is it possible that her Islamic captors forced her to do this?

    I think she was trying signal something in morse code by blinking.

  32. 32.

    Zifnab

    Was this actually Malkin herself doing the Cheri Oteri wanna-be thing? Or did she hire some unfortunate underling to do the dirty work?

    I seriously doubt she’s got that in her budget, what with blowing oh-so-much precious time and energy making that epic slide-show presentation. Then there’s the YouTube hosting fees and the price of the pom-poms… I mean, Malkin still needs to make rent after all this.

  37. 37.

    Rusty Shackleford

    I think these poll numbers give a clue as to why conservatives like Malkin are desperate enough to record a video like that.

    Americans siding with Dems against Bush

    In favor of a troop deadline
    The poll — which was taken of 1,004 adults from April 20-23, and which has an overall margin of error of 3.1 percentage points — comes as Congress considers an supplemental spending bill that would begin withdrawing troops from Iraq no later than Oct. 1, with the goal of having all combat troops leave by March 2008. The legislation hits the House floor on Wednesday, and heads to the Senate on Thursday.

    Bush opposes the bill and has threatened to veto it. “They know I’m going to veto a bill containing these provisions, and they know that my veto will be sustained,” the president said on Tuesday. “But instead of fashioning a bill I could sign, the Democratic leaders chose to further delay funding our troops, and they chose to make a political statement. That’s their right. But it is wrong for our troops and it’s wrong for our country.”

    Yet the poll shows that 56 percent say they agree more with the Democrats in Congress who want to set a deadline for troop withdrawal, versus the 37 percent who say they agree with Bush that there shouldn’t be a deadline.

    What’s more, 55 percent believe that victory in Iraq isn’t possible. And 49 percent say the situation in Iraq has gotten worse in the last three months since Bush announced his so-called troop surge. Thirty-seven percent say the situation has stayed about the same, and just 12 percent think it has improved.

    And then there is this headline:

    U.S. effort might become more difficult before it gets easier.

    First it was “give it 60-90 days” and then it was “give the surge a chance until September ’07” and now it’s “the war is going to get worse before it gets better”.

    What a load of horseshit.

    If Republicans/Conservatives want to keep this war going, I’ll support them. But they have to get off their fat chickenhawk asses and fight it their damn selves.

  38. 38.

    Andrew

    I think she was trying signal something in morse code by blinking.

    Yes, but it was a complaint about Mexicans sneaking into Arizona.

  39. 39.

    The Other Steve

    One of the commentators on wonkette noted this is almost as sad and funny as the star wars kid. I have to agree

  40. 40.

    canuckistani

    Once again, MM has defied the laws of physics by creating something that sucks and blows at the same time. So what’s the deal? Has she just twigged to the idea that teh kidz like their news in a comedy format a la Stewart ad Colbert, and this is as close as she can get?

    Fortunately, I had a choppy Youtube connection, so I didn’t go blind or insane watching it. But I could have.

  41. 41.

    RSA

    That was comedy fucking gold.

    I’m with Zifnab and TOS. That was one of the funniest political videos I’ve seen. There’s a difference, of course, between laughing with and incredulously laughing at.

  42. 42.

    Bubblegum Tate

    It is the stupidest video clip I have ever seen in my life. And I saw some Nickleback videos on VH1 a few months ago, so I know from stupid videos.

    Well, I don’t see how you could say that about this highly esteemed citizen-journalist and the incredibly serious point she’s articulating.

  43. 43.

    John Cole

    There are some pretty nasty comments at Wonkette, but a few I found to be very amusing. The first:

    Why is she wearing a Catholic school girl uniform for a cheerleader outfit? Did she confuse her huband’s fetishes again?

    And the second:

    This is the most unfunny, stupid thing I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen Dane Cook live.

    And the final one:

    The really scary thing is that at some point she looked at the final edited piece and signed off on it.

    There actually was a moment when she said, “Yes, that is exactly what I was going for. Upload it.”

    What. The. Fuck. Was that.

  44. 44.

    demimondian

    I watched it with the sound off, so I must be confused. What’s wrong with MM calling herself a loser? I’m proud of her for finally embracing her inner fatuity; it’s been a long time coming.

  45. 45.

    Tom S

    Well, we’ve all known that she was cheerleader for the Bush administration…this just proves it.

  48. 48.

    Bubblegum Tate

    I can’t believe one of the Wonkette commentors soiled the good name of Lily Thai by mentioning her in relation to this spectacle.

    Also, while some of the Wonkette comments are really funny, the donkey show/ping-pong ball type stuff is uncalled for. Shit, with all the comedy material Malkin presented with this video, if that’s the best you can do, you ought to just fall back for a while.

  49. 49.

    Tsulagi

    The really scary thing is that at some point she looked at the final edited piece and signed off on it.

    There actually was a moment when she said, “Yes, that is exactly what I was going for. Upload it.”

    What. The. Fuck. Was that.

    LOL! Exactly. I thought much the same thing somewhere around the “E” and the “R” delivered with the spaz jumps.

    Love those special effects too like the yellow lettering and chicken sounds. Gotta help the slower ones in the target audience get the message.

  50. 50.

    Temple Stark

    Maybe I just don’t visit Wonkette enough to know, but there is the firt time in a long time I’ve seen the c-word directed at anybody with such vehemence. And not jus tonce but often. I could be worng but it seemns more than obvious that it is Michelle Malkin fanboys posting those comments there to give her more fuel for one of her crusades.

    I usually avoid places that I know I’ll get nothing useful from – atrios commenters and hotair and lgf and instapundit being just the obvious examples – but I went to hotair and watched the mercifully short video. One, she’s a lot tinier than I thought. (camera angle?) Two, good lord, the dumbassery of the video was only overshadowed by the sexual objectification by a lot of her commenters. My reaction would be the same if Sheryl Crow or ???? did something similar from the opposite side.

    Lara Logan is a bad example as she’s not a partisan.

    Is that what it takes to get people to keep believing we’ll “win” this war? Pamela Atlas and Michelle in a Malkini? Surely the hatred contorting their faces makes them less beautiful, inside and out.

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