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You are here: Home / You Say Horny, I Say Reproductive Vigor

You Say Horny, I Say Reproductive Vigor

by John Cole|  November 14, 200810:16 pm| 110 Comments

This post is in: Clown Shoes

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We now learn why Derbyshire was silent during the election. He was even more unhinged than McCarthy, but was smart enough to not blog, and apparently is still seeing the Palin sparkles:

Hmm. As the parent of two teenagers, I come out in hives when someone tells me something is “cool.” As for “sexually repressed bigoted” etc.; I thought Sarah Palin kicked that pretty decisively into the ditch, as an emblem — I hope she won’t mind my saying so — of happy reproductive vigor in the framework of traditional companionate marriage. And if it’s “freakshow” you want, check out some of the lefty blogs.

This is the real downside to the worldwide jihad being led by Soros, in which all lefties get 72 virgins and stipends, as it is now clear to see. These pathetic morons on the right have got to get laid. We may be reaching the point when an entire political movement needs a cold shower, and the rest of us just need a shower because of what we have watched unfold.

The worst thing about all of this is that Derbyshire is pretty much the best the NRO has to offer.

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Reader Interactions

110Comments

  1. 1.

    BDWB

    November 14, 2008 at 10:24 pm

    Ah, the ongoing right-wing quest to see if it’s possible to nominate a single body part alone for higher office. Or a pair of them, as it were.

    Also, "traditional companionate marriage" is, um, an interesting turn of phrase from an historical perspective.

  2. 2.

    kommrade jakevich

    November 14, 2008 at 10:25 pm

    Reproductive vigor??

    Is he talking about barnyard animals?

  3. 3.

    Comrade Reverend Stuck

    November 14, 2008 at 10:26 pm

    I hope she won’t mind my saying so — of happy reproductive vigor in the framework of traditional companionate marriage

    Long version of I’d like to get in her pants without my wife knowing.

    Wingnuts do say the darnedest things.

  4. 4.

    jenniebee

    November 14, 2008 at 10:27 pm

    happy reproductive vigor

    Those words have no place in a political discussion. No really, they just don’t.

  5. 5.

    Dennis - SGMM

    November 14, 2008 at 10:30 pm

    Derbyshire: "Put on the glasses, baby. All the girls do it."

  6. 6.

    Laura W

    November 14, 2008 at 10:34 pm

    @Comrade Reverend Stuck:

    Long version of I’d like to get in her pants without my wife knowing.

    Just when I was about to shut down and call it a night. Best LOL of the day. Thanks. Needed that.

  7. 7.

    Svensker

    November 14, 2008 at 10:34 pm

    He was even more unhinged than McCarthy, but was smart enough to not blog,

    No, no, you see his hands were too busy to blog… Um, what I mean to say is, you can’t type while you’re…well…

    Hey, I thought the Derb didn’t like anything over age 19? What hupped?

  8. 8.

    kommrade jakevich

    November 14, 2008 at 10:35 pm

    @jenniebee: The Pervyshires of the world bid you remain silent until you display your reproductive vigor.

    Is it me or is there something … off here? It seems he’s saying (or trying to say) you can tell the GOP isn’t bigoted because Palin used her lady parts for their God-sanctioned duty.

    John, make up your mind about the post title before you post.

  9. 9.

    John Cole

    November 14, 2008 at 10:38 pm

    @kommrade jakevich: By now you should know I have no problem with change as long as it is for the better.

  10. 10.

    4tehlulz

    November 14, 2008 at 10:38 pm

    >>As the parent of two teenagers,

    Considering his Lolita…er..scholarship, I hope for their sakes they’re boys.

  11. 11.

    Nylund

    November 14, 2008 at 10:40 pm

    I think its Bristol’s reproductive vigor thats got him so riled up, not Sarah’s. Everyone knows her eggs have spoiled.

  12. 12.

    Tom65

    November 14, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    no, just…no

  13. 13.

    Dennis - SGMM

    November 14, 2008 at 10:47 pm

    I must quote the great Frank Zappa. From "Brown Shoes Don’t Make It"

    A world of secret hungers,
    Perverting the men who make your laws
    Every desire is hidden away,
    In drawer, in a desk,
    By a Naughahyde chair
    On a rug where they walk and drool
    Past the girls in the office

    You see in the back, of the cynical mind
    The dream of a girl about thirteen
    Off with her clothes and into a bed,
    Where she tickles his fancy all night long

    His wife’s attending an orchid show
    She squealed for a week to get him to go
    But back in the bed his teenage Queen
    Is rocking and rolling and acting obscene
    Baby! Baby! Baby! Baby!

    And he loves it! He loves it! It curls up his toes!
    She bites his fat neck, And it lights up his nose,
    But he cannot be fooled, Old *City Hall Fred,*
    She’s nasty, she’s nasty, She digs it in bed!

    Do it again, and do it some more!
    That does it, by golly, it’s nasty for sure!
    Nasty-nasty-nasty! Nasty-nasty-nasty!
    *(Only thirteen, and she knows how to NASTY)*

  14. 14.

    joeyess

    November 14, 2008 at 10:50 pm

    mm. As the parent of two teenagers, I come out in hives when someone tells me something is “cool.” As for “sexually repressed bigoted” etc.; I thought Sarah Palin kicked that pretty decisively into the ditch, as an emblem — I hope she won’t mind my saying so — of happy reproductive vigor in the framework of traditional companionate marriage. And if it’s “freakshow” you want, check out some of the lefty blogs.

    What exactly the fuck is that?? A blithering, eggheaded way of saying that you’ve noticed that we’ve pointed out the obvious? That you’re sexually repressed bigots?

    Jesus. Spare us your masturbatory fantasies, Derby, and merely deny openly that you’re sexually repressed bigots.

    It’s easy to say. Here, I’ll spell it out for you.

    I. a-m a s-e-x-u-a-l-l-y r-e-p-r-e-s-s-e-d b-i-g-o-t

  15. 15.

    iluvsummr

    November 14, 2008 at 10:50 pm

    One "word": eeeewwwww.

  16. 16.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    November 14, 2008 at 10:52 pm

    I think its Bristol’s reproductive vigor thats got him so riled up, not Sarah’s. Everyone knows her eggs have spoiled.

    Or it is a tribute to Mr. Palin’s mantasticess. "Wow, he did it … five whole times!"

  17. 17.

    Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist

    November 14, 2008 at 10:52 pm

    @4tehlulz: Considering his Lolita…er..scholarship, I hope for their sakes they’re boys.

    I was gonna say – isn’t this tool the one who has a thing for the youngsters? If so, a crush on Palin is a step up, pathetic as it is.

    Reminds me of a joke.

    Why is sex with twenty-nine-year-olds so great?

    Well, there’s twenty of them…

    …works better spoken than written, I guess.

  18. 18.

    John Cole

    November 14, 2008 at 10:55 pm

    The whole thing just creeps me out. Watching an entire “intellectual” movement yell out, with a primal scream, “I’m so horny” is actually worse than I imagined it would be.

    Not that I ever imagined it. I have to sleep at night.

  19. 19.

    Tattoosydney

    November 14, 2008 at 10:58 pm

    @iluvsummr:

    I think it needs three words:

    Eeeewwwww. Eeeewwwww. Eeeewwwww.

    (John – can you rescue my response to TZ on wines from moderation in Tim’s Open Thread? kthanksbye)

  20. 20.

    par4

    November 14, 2008 at 11:00 pm

    Bull,He’s lusting after Jeff Gannon in his heart.

  21. 21.

    Svensker

    November 14, 2008 at 11:00 pm

    Happy reproductive vigor.

    I just love that phrase. It makes me smile almost as much as Tommy losing 2.5billion, give or take .5 billion or so.

    Welp, off to bed, all happy and tingly. Night everybody!

  22. 22.

    Comrade grumpy realist

    November 14, 2008 at 11:01 pm

    BTW, if anyone wants to read a wonderful analysis of the present state of the Republican Party, read this week’s Lexington in the Economist.

    Aside from anything else, it looks like a non-belief in evolution just screams "idiot who would piss on the third rail" to the rest of the civilized world.

  23. 23.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    November 14, 2008 at 11:02 pm

    @Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist: @Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist: lolz

  24. 24.

    Dennis - SGMM

    November 14, 2008 at 11:02 pm

    @John Cole:
    Even more disturbing is that their policies and practices suggest that they want everyone else to have the same terminal case of blue balls that they do.

  25. 25.

    Brian J

    November 14, 2008 at 11:07 pm

    How does Sarah Palin really kick the "sexually repressed" stereotype to the curb? Or am I being to generous in assuming that rambling response resembles intelligent thought?

  26. 26.

    Comrade Reverend Stuck

    November 14, 2008 at 11:10 pm

    @Brian J:

    Or am I being to generous in assuming that rambling response resembles intelligent thought?

    Call it Pecker Prose

  27. 27.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    November 14, 2008 at 11:11 pm

    The whole thing just creeps me out. Watching an entire “intellectual” movement yell out, with a primal scream, “I’m so horny” is actually worse than I imagined it would be.

    Here’s what I don’t get. And I should say I know my judgement is skewed by a number of things including, but not limited to, that fucking awful cat stuck in a woodchipper voice of hers and the fact she is too damn stupid to know how stupid she is. But here’s what I don’t get:

    If you’re going to engage in a massive wank-fest over someone, why the hell would you make Sarah Palin the adored object? I don’t get it.

    If I force myself to forget her voice and the nonsense that comes with the voice and how creeped out I felt at the thought she might become vice president, I can say she’s attractive. And that’s it. I see women who blow way past attractive on the ride to work every morning. It’s like she’s the first non-inflatable woman the fReichtards have ever seen in their lives. Truly, it boggles the mind, but maybe I’m missing something.

  28. 28.

    Dennis - SGMM

    November 14, 2008 at 11:14 pm

    Derbyshire’s efforts to blog when all of his blood has rushed to his lap deserve our highest accolades.

  29. 29.

    Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist

    November 14, 2008 at 11:15 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead: Amazingly, I learned that one from a friend who is a devout Mormon. He’s an odd duck.

  30. 30.

    TheHatOnMyCat

    November 14, 2008 at 11:15 pm

    It seems he’s saying (or trying to say) you can tell the GOP isn’t bigoted because Palin used her lady parts for their God-sanctioned duty.

    Yes, yes he is.

    DALLAS — The pastor of a mega-church says he will challenge married congregants during his sermon Sunday to have sex for seven straight days — and he plans to practice what he preaches.
    “We’re going to give it a try,” said the Rev. Ed Young, who has four children with his wife of 26 years.
    Young, 47, said he believes society promotes promiscuity and he wants to reclaim sex for married couples. Sex should be a nurturing, spiritual act that strengthens marriages, he said.

    God wants you to have sex. Get thee off the blogs and to thy beds.

  31. 31.

    Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist

    November 14, 2008 at 11:17 pm

    @Brian J: How does Sarah Palin really kick the "sexually repressed" stereotype to the curb?

    I don’t see it either. I mean, there’s only proof that she’s had sex five times.

  32. 32.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    November 14, 2008 at 11:19 pm

    I put Al Green on when I’m reading Derbyshire…..

  33. 33.

    iluvsummr

    November 14, 2008 at 11:19 pm

    @Tattoosydney: Just trying to be economical in responding to anything related to the party of George "What’s the G20?" Bush.

  34. 34.

    Brian J

    November 14, 2008 at 11:22 pm

    Call it Pecker Prose

    Perhaps it’s because I am repressing the bad pieces that always pop up in every intellectual publication, liberal or conservative, or maybe it’s because I don’t usually read publications like the National Review or The Weekly Standard, or maybe it’s something else entirely, such as a reflection of reality. Whatever the case, it seems like conservative publications like the National Review are far, far, worse than something like The American Prospect could ever be. Not only do you not see the liberal equivalent to the All Ayers, All the Time obsession, but you don’t see the sort of incoherent, almost-drunken rantings of people like Derbyshire at TAPPED or any of its equivalents. Again, I don’t read these particular conservative sites often, because I’m too afraid of my brain becoming numb from the apparent stupidity, but I find it hard to believe that each time I do read a post on a site like The Corner, it’s simply an aberration from the usual reasonable, insightful commentary that one would usually find.

  35. 35.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    November 14, 2008 at 11:22 pm

    @Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist:

    I’m going to use it but I’m going to change it to "Why is sex so good with tweny nineteen year olds…..?" so I don’t offend anyone.

  36. 36.

    TheHatOnMyCat

    November 14, 2008 at 11:23 pm

    George "What’s the G20?" Bush.

    Tell him it’s a Pontiac, and only sold in Australia.

    Or, something.

  37. 37.

    Derek

    November 14, 2008 at 11:26 pm

    God, this guy is just a dick.

  38. 38.

    LiberalTarian

    November 14, 2008 at 11:28 pm

    Fuck the endless Palin McFailing prattle.

    I scared the living bejeezus out of my clueless roommate tonight with my pressure cooker.

    So, I thought I might find out what exactly he had to be afraid of, and nada. Yeah, it makes noise, but as long as it has water in it, is it threatening?

    Help me out here.

    And yes, I made totally yummy chicken and wine with root vegetables and garden herbs (sage, thyme, basil, and garlic and scallions from my own garden).

    Enlighten me about pressure cookers, with the knob on top that spins and hisses, and I will be forever grateful.

  39. 39.

    Brian J

    November 14, 2008 at 11:31 pm

    If I force myself to forget her voice and the nonsense that comes with the voice and how creeped out I felt at the thought she might become vice president, I can say she’s attractive. And that’s it. I see women who blow way past attractive on the ride to work every morning. It’s like she’s the first non-inflatable woman the fReichtards have ever seen in their lives. Truly, it boggles the mind, but maybe I’m missing something.

    Assuming they agree with her actual policy positions, whatever they may be, and don’t just want to stick it in her, I can see her appeal to them. If I found a female Democratic politician who looked like Anne Hathaway, knew enough about economics and political history to help me understand more, would like to watch "Arrested Development" and "The Office" while eating fried foods and drinking Diet Coke like they were being taken off the market, I’d probably have as much of a hard on for her as the guys at the National Review have for Palin. Then again, I’d hope I’d try to maintain a sense of professionalism about it.

  40. 40.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    November 14, 2008 at 11:32 pm

    @LiberalTarian: Just get down there and put some water it in NOW!!!!!! Go go go!!!!!!!

  41. 41.

    colin roald

    November 14, 2008 at 11:34 pm

    "tradional companionate marriage"? WTF? It sounds like he thinks marriage is under attack by couples who hate each other and want to live in different time zones.

    I mean, seriously, in what sense does companionate modify marriage here?

  42. 42.

    LiberalTarian

    November 14, 2008 at 11:34 pm

    Tons of water from the root vegetables. Too much even.

    Totally yummy though. :)

    OMG so delicious. And it took longer to cut up the veggies than it did to cook! Oh yeah, and going out in the garden in the dark is some kind of special. :D

  43. 43.

    tripletee

    November 14, 2008 at 11:34 pm

    @kommrade reproductive vigor:

    I can say she’s attractive. And that’s it. I see women who blow way past attractive on the ride to work every morning. It’s like she’s the first non-inflatable woman the fReichtards have ever seen in their lives. Truly, it boggles the mind, but maybe I’m missing something.

    Right there with you. She’s attractive, but they talk about her like she’s Helen of Troy or something. Who, by the way, could see Turkey from her house. Also.

  44. 44.

    Brian J

    November 14, 2008 at 11:38 pm

    Right there with you. She’s attractive, but they talk about her like she’s Helen of Troy or something. Who, by the way, could see Turkey from her house. Also.

    At least she’s legitimately attractive. I remember when we had to hear them try to pass off Katherine Harris as the Megan Fox of the Republican party.

  45. 45.

    iluvsummr

    November 14, 2008 at 11:39 pm

    @LiberalTarian: You have apparently never had the top of a pressure cooker explode, spraying choice bits of meat onto the ceiling. There’s nothing more beautiful than looking up at pressure cooker art (and wondering whether to just leave it be since you don’t have a stepladder).

  46. 46.

    Rommie

    November 14, 2008 at 11:41 pm

    They must be going after the Mormon coalition, since they are the only ones who can get things done politically nowadays, it seems.

  47. 47.

    Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist

    November 14, 2008 at 11:41 pm

    @tripletee: She’s attractive, but they talk about her like she’s Helen of Troy or something.

    Yeah, that weirds me out too. And like Kommrade R.V., I see a dozen prettier on my commute every day.

    The Palin-worship might have something to do with wingnuts being attracted to power but not being able to conceive of anything attractive about women other than beauty, so in their minds they forced her political standing to be = moar teh hawt. Hell, I dunno. But I think it’s safe to say they’re deeply confused.

  48. 48.

    LiberalTarian

    November 14, 2008 at 11:42 pm

    No, no eruptions. Apparently I lack a truly adventurous spirit.

    How hard is it to eat the bits and pieces off the cieling??

    :O)

    To be honest, the PC comes out when I am hungry and don’t want to wait. The meat hardly ever gets a chance to get fully cooked, let alone become ceiling crusties.

    Gotta tell you though, a pot roast in cab, with onions, potatoes and carrots … some kind of yum, I’m telling ya.

  49. 49.

    Comrade Reverend Stuck

    November 14, 2008 at 11:43 pm

    I guess the GOP Governors didn’t get the "We Love Sarah" memo.

    In the wake of the Republican Governors Association (RGA) convention this week in Miami, many GOP governors were reluctant to embrace Gov. Sarah Palin (R-AK) as the party’s leader or presidential candidate for 2012. Today, the RGA made that sentiment official, by not voting her in to any of the organization’s leadership positions:

    Redstate.com declares war on ALL Rino’s. General Malkin takes command of the Wingnut Countertop Rebellion

  50. 50.

    jenniebee

    November 14, 2008 at 11:46 pm

    @TheHatOnMyCat:

    Young, 47, said he believes society promotes promiscuity and he wants to reclaim sex for married couples.

    What, it’s a net sum zero game or something? If he’s having sex every day for a week, somebody else won’t?

    I do have to admit, thinking about a mega-church issuing a sex challenge is kind of turning me off…

  51. 51.

    Comrade Darkness

    November 14, 2008 at 11:50 pm

    @iluvsummr: "@LiberalTarian: You have apparently never had the top of a pressure cooker explode, spraying choice bits of meat onto the ceiling."

    Our pressure cooker manual swears that with the high tech fancy valve on it, will not allow this to happen. But there is a footnote about making sure to never overfill the pot so no bits get caught IN the valve.

    In the coming world wide crisis, devices like pressure cookers will be necessary tools to save fuel.

    (I think I’ve been seeing too many game ads…)

  52. 52.

    Brian J

    November 14, 2008 at 11:53 pm

    What, it’s a net sum zero game or something? If he’s having sex every day for a week, somebody else won’t?

    That sort of thinking, if true, might explain why they want to prevent anyone but straight married couples from having sex.

  53. 53.

    Comrade Darkness

    November 14, 2008 at 11:54 pm

    Yeah, it makes noise, but as long as it has water in it, is it threatening?

    The knob is supposed to rattle, that’s how you know it’s under pressure and the valve is working right. If it rattles really violently, turn the heat down a tad. If it stops rattling, turn it up. You really only need a simmer flame/burner to maintain pressure in a pressurized pot.

    Best bet is to download the manual for your brand off the intertubes. It will enlighten you to the specifics of your device.

    btw, the safest way to take the pressure off the pot at the end is to run it under cold water in your sink. This is rather than mess with the pressure knob on top. Especially if you dislike mad cat noises.

  54. 54.

    Comrade Stuck

    November 14, 2008 at 11:55 pm

    Mr. Cole,

    for some unknown reason, wordpress decided to redistribute two of my geniyus comments to spam. When you get a chance.

  55. 55.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    November 14, 2008 at 11:56 pm

    That sort of thinking, if true, might explain why they want to prevent anyone but straight married couples from having sex.

    Help yourselves. We’re not using it.

  56. 56.

    gbear

    November 15, 2008 at 12:02 am

    You Say Horny, I Say Reproductive Vigor

    You say ‘Sorry, I’m suffering from cephalalgia‘, I say ‘Not tonight, I have a headache’.

    & if Norm Coleman were talking about reproductive vigor, he’d manage to get the word ‘robust’ in there too.

  57. 57.

    MKrem

    November 15, 2008 at 12:04 am

    @iluvsummr:

    You have apparently never had the top of a pressure cooker explode, spraying choice bits of meat onto the ceiling.

    No, and I hope I never do…
    My p-cooker is an older 1/4" thick heavy aluminum piece with a top that fits on like an artillery breech lock. If that think ever explodes when I’m nearby I’m not sure I’d survive the shrapnel wounds.

  58. 58.

    Xanthippas

    November 15, 2008 at 12:12 am

    Derbyshire is a moron. Nobody ever thought Palin was sexually repressed; it’s obvious her and hubby enjoy a good roll in the hay. The issue is the problems her and people like her have with other people who’d like to be fucking each other.

  59. 59.

    Brian J

    November 15, 2008 at 12:30 am

    Help yourselves. We’re not using it.

    I hope to soon, with a particular lady friend in mind. Tell me, Mr. Fuckhead, is it really lame to buy tickets to an event and then pretend that someone bailed on you as a way of asking someone out on a first date?

  60. 60.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    November 15, 2008 at 12:33 am

    Tell me, Mr. Fuckhead, is it really lame to buy tickets to an event and then pretend that someone bailed on you as a way of asking someone out on a first date?

    I think it’s fucking brilliant. And if it doesn’t work, you scalp those tickets and buy a whore for the night.

    Peace.

  61. 61.

    gbear

    November 15, 2008 at 12:33 am

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    I put Al Green on when I’m reading Derbyshire…..

    Which Al Green? Before or after he got religion and became a pastor?

  62. 62.

    Brian J

    November 15, 2008 at 12:36 am

    Derbyshire is a moron. Nobody ever thought Palin was sexually repressed; it’s obvious her and hubby enjoy a good roll in the hay. The issue is the problems her and people like her have with other people who’d like to be fucking each other.

    I think that’s what he’s saying, too–that she’s an example of the party not being sexually repressed. It doesn’t seem to make sense, of course, but what else is new?

  63. 63.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    November 15, 2008 at 12:38 am

    and he plans to practice what he preaches.

    Damn.

    I won’t say there are any benefits to being raised Roman Catholic vs. any other religion, but at least the guy in the pulpit never talked about his sex life [Steps aside to avoid avalanche of altar boy jokes].

    Also, this "Rah, go, sex!" sounds kind of familiar … Here ’tis!

    Haggard served as Pelosi’s tour guide through the evangelical community. In the film, he proclaims that evangelicals have the best sex lives in the world.

    "You know all the surveys say that evangelicals have the best sex life of any other group," he says.

    There’s certainly a lot of variety, eh Rev. sHaggard?

    In the documentary, Haggard asks an evangelical next to him how often he has sex with his wife. The man replies, "Every day." Haggard then explains that evangelicals have a lot of love and says to Pelosi, "You don’t think these babies come out of nowhere?"

    Not that I’m suggesting anyone is over-compensating or anything! Also.

    Crikey.

  64. 64.

    Brian J

    November 15, 2008 at 12:38 am

    I think it’s fucking brilliant. And if it doesn’t work, you scalp those tickets and buy a whore for the night.

    Peace.

    I’m not sure whether you are being facetious.

    Is something the matter?

  65. 65.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    November 15, 2008 at 12:41 am

    I’m not sure whether you are being facetious.

    I’m not.

  66. 66.

    GSD

    November 15, 2008 at 12:45 am

    The GOP sexually repressed?

    Bush and Cheney have been fucking 300 million people raw for 8 years straight.

    They are stallions.

    -GSD

  67. 67.

    bago

    November 15, 2008 at 12:50 am

    Yeah, creepy. Also confusing. How do you take back sex, except in the Clintonian way?

  68. 68.

    LiberalTarian

    November 15, 2008 at 12:50 am

    Heh. I loves me my pressure cooker precious.

    I’ll let my skitterish roommate know that as long as the bobber bobs, all is good.

    And, as I said earlier, since the PC is good at defrosting solid frozen chicken and cooking clear through within 32 minutes, you can bet I put it under the running water cooler. My T-fal has this cute little purple ball that is up in pressure position. Once it goes down I’m not worried about it.

    No, if only I had such an indicator that time I tried to kill myself with the compressed gas and the stopper stuck in the vacuum flask … I learned the value of PSI that day I’ll tell you (in my best Ghost Busters KeyMaster voice).

    Ok, time for bed. I am such a fogey. :O)

    WINE! It’s a marinade and a beverage!

  69. 69.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    November 15, 2008 at 12:51 am

    Stay classy, white america.

  70. 70.

    Brian J

    November 15, 2008 at 12:52 am

    I’m not.

    Okay, good.

  71. 71.

    tripletee

    November 15, 2008 at 12:56 am

    OT: 28%, I answered your question here. If you’re interested in joining the list, drop me a line – prayerfire at gmail dot com.

  72. 72.

    Delia

    November 15, 2008 at 1:30 am

    how does Sarah Palin really kick the "sexually repressed" stereotype to the curb?

    Oh, that’s easy enough. Ask the National Enquirer. No need to get prissy about our language, goopers. Our Sarah was fucking her husband’s business partner, name of Brad Hanson. Nuthin’ like a few starbursts to clean out all the plumbing, is there?

  73. 73.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 15, 2008 at 3:15 am

    Can I have 72 slightly used sex partners (preferably male) instead?

    Virgins are just so hard to train.

  74. 74.

    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII

    November 15, 2008 at 3:30 am

    God wants you to have sex. Get thee off the blogs and to thy beds.

    I could say the same for you.

  75. 75.

    Phoenician in a time of Romans

    November 15, 2008 at 5:40 am

    Reproductive vigor??

    It’s the white person equivalent of black people "squirting out welfare babies". IOKIYAWP.

  76. 76.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    November 15, 2008 at 8:00 am

    These pathetic morons on the right have got to get laid.

    They could walk into a whorehouse with a C-note taped to their forehead’s and call it a "stimulus package"? Seems appropriate.

  77. 77.

    J.

    November 15, 2008 at 8:01 am

    Finally, someone has summed up the problem:

    These pathetic morons on the right have got to get laid.

    And I would like to add, could use a good dump. (Ex-Lax anyone?)

    Seriously, I am convinced that the guys on the Right who constantly scream the loudest about "family" and the "purity of the family" are simply not getting any and want everyone else to suffer, too.

    Not to Derbyshire et al: Just because you have four or five kids doesn’t mean you are getting it on all the time. Actually, it’s usually the contrary. Palin probably got pregnant with Trig because she and Todd hadn’t gotten it on in so long their protection had expired or they forgot what protection was.

    I say, let’s organized some Grand Not-So-Old Prostitutes and some Viagra to service the members of the Grand Old Party before the next election cycle comes around. If we do, I think we will find we have a kinder, gentler nation.

  78. 78.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    November 15, 2008 at 8:07 am

    @Phoenician in a time of Romans

    After re-reading his … er … comment I’d say Le Perv is doing that weird equation where 1 Married couple + Lots of children = Lots of sex = Happy, functional, marriage.

    Now, I’m not saying the Palins are unhappily married, but I believe there’s a bit more to a happy marriage than that and you can have all of Derb’s indicators and lots of misery.

    I also note that Derb only has two teenage children.

  79. 79.

    harlana pepper

    November 15, 2008 at 8:18 am

    If the republican party needs to take a cold shower, I definitely need a brain bleach bath.

  80. 80.

    aimai

    November 15, 2008 at 8:19 am

    Upthread Colin roald said:

    "tradional companionate marriage? WTF? It sounds like he thinks marriage is under attack by couples who hate each other and want to live in different time zones.

    I mean, seriously, in what sense does companionate modify marriage here?

    I think that Colin Roald’s point is an important one. I take it that Derbyshire is flailing his arms to distract us from the fact that modern marriage by definition is "companionate marriage"–i.e. a voluntary marriage of equals who may choose to leave the marriage at any time through divorce. So, why drag it up? Because Palin’s happy, sexual, companionate marriage throws into relief the fact that her daughter got accidentally pregnant with a kid who said upfront on his web site that he wasn’t interested in either marriage or kids and that as a family they were forced into the public dumb show of insisting that in "traditional marriage" "vigorous reproduction" is supposed to precede the marriage part of the companionate excercise and not the other way around.

    But the person who linked to the Ted Haggard spots is right on, as well. There has long been a trend among some evangelicals and fundies–and its shared, oddly enough, with the Mullahs of Iran (Read "Law of Desire" a scholarly study of the institution of mut’a or temporary marriage in Iran)-to insist that g-d wants you to have a rocking good sex life. There is an eternal pendulum swing in the fundamentalist community from the extreme of telling people that g-d wants them to be unhappy, poor, sexually unsatisfied, not gay, etc… to the other side of the swing insisting that he wants you to be in a state of ecstasy all the time. Both arguments are used as clubs, to keep the believer in line. When you are suffering, they assure you its for your own good. When you start to look like you might split off for another religion that doesn’t emphasize the suffering so much, or when they can turn a profit on it, they tell you g-d wants you to have lots of sex, or lots of money, or lots of power. No wonder they are all like paranoid schizophrenics. Its g-d’s own "sanity, madness, and the family."

    aimai

  81. 81.

    Comrade grumpy realist

    November 15, 2008 at 8:44 am

    How *varied* are the topics we find on the threads here at BJ! Who would have ever thought to find John Derbyshire, Republican sex lives, and pressure cookers together!

    Uh, come to think of it…

  82. 82.

    zoe kentucky

    November 15, 2008 at 9:59 am

    I love how fucktards like Derb measure the value of women in politics– women as sexy, vote-getting fantasy objects. Only a truly sexist wanker like Derb would equate having 5 kids with being a hot-to-trot sexpot. Which somehow then translates to being prepared to be VP?!? Because giving birth to children is all it takes to be a role model in his world? He’s coming very close to revealing what he truly thinks about women– babymaking machines put on this earth to give men pleasure.

    Seriously? We know nothing about the Palins sex life and it shouldn’t be a political concern. I find the idea that Palin’s sexual attractiveness– which I don’t see, I think she’s really plain and boring looking– is somehow a reason for people to like her to be the very essence of sexism in politics.

  83. 83.

    harlana pepper

    November 15, 2008 at 10:07 am

    It’s the idea that she’s attractive AND potentially accessible. That’s really all it takes for these guys. The straight ones anyway.

  84. 84.

    harlana pepper

    November 15, 2008 at 10:14 am

    November 15th, 2008 at 5:40 am Phoenician in a time of Romans

    Reproductive vigor??

    It’s the white person equivalent of black people "squirting out welfare babies".

    Thank you.

  85. 85.

    Silver Owl

    November 15, 2008 at 10:22 am

    I will be so glad when the wingnut era of "it’s all about my dick. Must make my dick happy." is over. While the iq of their penises are higher than the iq of their bigger brains, we’re still talking extremely low numbers.

    When Derbyshire supported Bush did he want to screw him too? Did Derbyshire’s boss want to screw him when they hired him? Or did they just measure dicks they need a short one?

    Nothing says respect for Palin like "Hey I wanna fuck you or at least watch your husband fuck you. You’re hired."

  86. 86.

    Deborah

    November 15, 2008 at 10:30 am

    It’s worth clicking through to the whole thing, in which some moderate young person has written to him about joining the Libertarians, and John puts forth such an interesting defense of Republicanism (Mormons also have Reproductive Vigor) that I’m sure the young person is burning his GOP card as we type.

    In closing, if Sarah Palin were to become a Libertarian, Derbyshire would want to follow her into the party’s embrace….not metaphorically…ummm…..I never wanted to know this much about what turns on middle-aged white Republican men. One more thing to lay at Palin’s feet.

  87. 87.

    BlueIA

    November 15, 2008 at 10:42 am

    "Fundamentalism" is just American religion, and always with us. It does no great harm that I can see, and some of its strains — Mormonism, for instance — are wonderfully encouraging of good citizenship and reproductive success.

    No shit that Mormonism = "reproductive success." How many kids does Mitt have? And all those polygamists with 4 wives and 30 kids?

    Although, if Sarah were to defect to the Libertarian Party …

    Stalk much??

  88. 88.

    Brachiator

    November 15, 2008 at 11:30 am

    @kommrade reproductive vigor:

    I can say she’s attractive. And that’s it. I see women who blow way past attractive on the ride to work every morning.

    People underestimate Palin’s allure. Not only is she reasonably attractive, she is the kind of woman that a guy could go hunting or fishing with, and she could probably watch your back in a bar fight.

    And it was just wild to watch Palin get her Martha Stewart freak on with Matt Lauer of the Today Show, in the kitchen effortlessly whipping up a passle of moose burgers and other foods.

    By contrast, recall that Cindy McCain stole dessert recipes, and probably has staff to work the kitchens in her seven homes. From comments I’ve heard from women, while they may admire Cindy McCain or sympathize with some of her past drug problems, they identify with Palin as someone more like them, or who they might like to be. They also see Todd as quiet and a bit of a hunk. And some men just don’t want to "do" Palin, they see her as an "all around" kind of gal.

    But boneheads like Derbyshire are in deep denial. They desperately grasp at Palin as some kind of traditional marriage heterosexual ideal, when the messy reality is that the GOP is the home of Larry Craig, Mark Foley, and warped and repressed wetsuit wearing hypocrites who use the phrase "baby Jebus" as a safe word.

    And the deeper problem, of course, is that apart from the repressed GOP base, even people who kinda liked Palin had the good sense to realize that while this hot hockey mom might be a cool chick to hang out with, she didn’t have a clue with respect to national politics, and wasn’t remotely ready for higher office.

    But Derbyshire’s sexual fantasies also deflect from the fact that the GOP does not know what to do with — or how to handle — the anti-intellectual populism that Palin has sparked in some of the GOP base. The GOP insiders who try to mock Palin as a clothes thief and the warped dirty old men who try to remold Palin into Reproductive Vigor Barbie are seriously misreading the rumbling bubbling up within the GOP base.

  89. 89.

    JGabriel

    November 15, 2008 at 11:57 am

    [email protected]:

    I thought Sarah Palin kicked that pretty decisively into the ditch, as an emblem — I hope she won’t mind my saying so — of happy reproductive vigor in the framework of traditional companionate marriage.

    So that’s what we’re calling birth control ignorance and irresponsibility now? Happy Reproductive Vigor?

    Doesn’t that sound like something you’d order in a Chinese restaurant? (Yeah, we’ll have the Happy Reproductive Vigor with a side of the Green Joy Medley and the Ecstatic Mountain Puffs for dessert…)

    .

  90. 90.

    Dennis - SGMM

    November 15, 2008 at 12:02 pm

    My reproductive vigor would have been greater had I the sense to be a money-grubbing politician in a state that mails you a couple of grand a year for every kid.

  91. 91.

    JGabriel

    November 15, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    Have some of the Ecstatic Mountain Puffs. You’ll feel better.

    .

  92. 92.

    g-rant

    November 15, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    People underestimate Palin’s allure. Not only is she reasonably attractive, she is the kind of woman that a guy could go hunting or fishing with, and she could probably watch your back in a bar fight.

    And she says mean things about liberals. (Hey, it got Nixon and Reagan pretty far).

  93. 93.

    Brachiator

    November 15, 2008 at 12:49 pm

    @JGabriel:

    Have some of the Ecstatic Mountain Puffs. You’ll feel better.

    You can see Russia from Palin’s Ecstatic Mountain Puffs.

  94. 94.

    Blue Raven

    November 15, 2008 at 1:29 pm

    @Brachiator:

    You can see Russia from Palin’s Ecstatic Mountain Puffs.

    Why do people give pet names to their genitalia, anyway? Figure it’s a distancing effect so they can redirect blame for their misbehavior? "Honey, Russia made me cheat on you with your business partner!"

  95. 95.

    Krista

    November 15, 2008 at 1:59 pm

    Chalk up another person who doesn’t understand the following:

    1. Why having 5 kids is indicative of Sarah Palin not being repressed.
    2. Why it has some sort of political importance
    3. Why it is even anybody’s damn business in the first place.

    Besides, I don’t know about you, but I genuinely don’t give a shit if Republicans are repressed, procreating, taking it up the ass or swinging from the chandeliers while wearing a gimp mask. Their bedrooms, their business. All we want is for them to stay out of everybody else’s business and everybody else’s bedrooms. Why is that such an incredibly difficult concept for them to understand?

  96. 96.

    jacy

    November 15, 2008 at 2:20 pm

    Hey, I have five kids. Do I get extra points because they’re all still in school and none of them are pregnant?

    I will say that my "reproductive vigor" has been seriously curtailed by working 16 hours a day to pay for things like clothes, food, tuition, soccer fees, music lessons and orthidonture. Maybe I can bill the RNC.

  97. 97.

    Comrade Darkness

    November 15, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    and she could probably watch your back in a bar fight.

    Maybe in the past. Now she’d be worried about mussing her $4000 jacket.

  98. 98.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    November 15, 2008 at 2:53 pm

    Besides, I don’t know about you, but I genuinely don’t give a shit if Republicans are repressed, procreating, taking it up the ass or swinging from the chandeliers while wearing a gimp mask. Their bedrooms, their business.

    or..

    sucking dicks in airport bathroom stalls
    hot chatting with twink congressional staffers
    masturbating while asphyxiating in a wetsuit
    wearing diapers while fucking prostitutes
    having meth-fueled Christian fun with same-sex partners

    (partial list)

  99. 99.

    Tattoosydney

    November 15, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    @jacy:

    Hey, I have five kids. Do I get extra points because they’re all still in school and none of them are pregnant?

    Probably, but if you want to be the next Republican Vice Presidential nominee, one of them had better get pregnant and drop out pretty damn fast…

  100. 100.

    Chris

    November 15, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    "I thought Sarah Palin kicked that pretty decisively into the ditch, as an emblem — I hope she won’t mind my saying so — of happy reproductive vigor"

    So she’s a quiverfull, big whoop.

    "in the framework of traditional companionate marriage"

    Whatever this means is terrible for any loving couple, heterosexual or not.

  101. 101.

    Out of the Blue

    November 15, 2008 at 4:20 pm

    "As for ‘sexually repressed bigoted’ etc.; I thought Sarah Palin kicked that pretty decisively into the ditch…"

    So, even if we accept that having five kids, winking at the public, and giving men you barely know a towel show kicks the "sexually repressed" charge into the ditch, that still leaves "bigoted, etc…" Or maybe the rest of the charges don’t bother him.

  102. 102.

    Brachiator

    November 15, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    @Comrade Darkness:

    Maybe in the past. Now she’d be worried about mussing her $4000 jacket.

    I don’t have any problem with Palin’s shopping spree. I have problems with GOP hypocrisy. The Republicans in successive elections tried to push the lie that Kerry was living off a rich heiress, that Edwards was really just a rich, effeminate pretty boy and that Obama was an aristocrat, while Palin was a salt of the earth ordinary people hockey mom.

    But the Republicans had no problems with Cindy McCain showing up at the GOP Convention in $300,000 in clothing and jewels, and somehow magically McCain’s mansions became compensation for services rendered as a war hero.

    Obama was supposedly a celebrity, a rock star, but then the GOP had the nerve to treat Palin like a celebrity.

    From my perspective, Palin had every right to say to these goons that as long as they were going to pimp her and her family out for the GOP base, then she was going to make damn sure that Todd and the kids looked good, and that the staff of a man like McCain who wore $520 shoes could kiss her pretty ass if they thought that she was going to take the fall for people who did everything they could to tell her to just shut up and do what she was told and who now want to pretend that they weren’t playing "My Fair Palin" with the American voter.

    I think that Palin thinks too much of herself and may not understand that she is currently out of her depth with respect to national politics. But it is noteworthy to see that now that she is back home and out from under the thumbs of her erstwhile handlers, that she is coming out swinging. She is not simply the little woman hanging back in the kitchen baking cookies. She is the power mom, relaxing in the kitchen, her hair perfect, her rifle in the corner, taking names and kickng some well-deserved GOP ass, while simultaneously cooking up a mess of mooseburgers.

    Palin’s 15 minutes may be up. But I give her credit for not meekly taking the fall for GOP bullshit. I also give credit to McCain for not throwing her under the bus during his "Tonight Show" appearance.

  103. 103.

    JGabriel

    November 15, 2008 at 5:58 pm

    One Hundredth.

    .

  104. 104.

    Laura W

    November 15, 2008 at 8:42 pm

    @JGabriel: Monkey.

  105. 105.

    Mike G

    November 15, 2008 at 9:16 pm

    BTW, if anyone wants to read a wonderful analysis of the present state of the Republican Party, read this week’s Lexington in the Economist.

    I just read that article.
    Good to see them departing from their lickspittle admiration of the Repigs, which I always found bemusing in a reputedly internationalist, intellectual and technocratic publication.
    But I contest their thesis that the Repig party has only just turned toward proud-idiocy with this election. Bush was far from a Mensa candidate, and the party’s appeal to its non-wealthy base has since the days of Reagan, if not Nixon, been based on puerile appeals to emotions – usually ugly emotions like fear, hate, parochialism, nationalism, militarism, tribalism and bigotry – and contempt for ‘pointy-headed librul’ cosmopolitan intellectuals or people who look like they might actually know something more than the simple god-fearin’ John Cougar Mellencamp archetype regular guy from the Heartland ™.

  106. 106.

    Derek

    November 16, 2008 at 2:28 am

    …the simple god-fearin’ John Cougar Mellencamp archetype regular guy from the Heartland™.

    Funny thing is, John Mellencamp is an unabashed liberal Democrat.

    CHECK WIKIPEDIA BEFORE YOU STEREOTYPE CELEBRITIES

  107. 107.

    Anony Mouse

    November 16, 2008 at 8:35 am

    Disclaimer: We should judge female politicians, like their male counterparts, on the basis of their policies, not their looks. Talking endlessly about their appearance debases us and our political discourse.

    That being said, I have thought from Day One that Sarah Palin was smokin’ hot (I dig the librarian look and the sexy boots).

    However, Stephen Colbert has introduced me to a much, much hotter politician, Yulia Tymoshenko, Prime Minister of the Ukraine:

    If, like me, you prefer politicians who aren’t corrupt, nationalist, religious zealots, I recommend Greek goddess and Socialist MP Eva Kaili:

  108. 108.

    Anony Mouse

    November 16, 2008 at 8:39 am

    My links got eaten.

    Ms. Tymoshenko:
    http://www.bittenandbound.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/tymoshenko-with-barack-obama-in-2005.jpg
    http://www.pravda.com.ua/archive/2005/february/8/images/platie.jpg

    Ms. Kaili:
    http://www.evakaili.gr/images/photo_sto_deltio_tou_Mega_Channel.jpg

  109. 109.

    fishbane

    November 16, 2008 at 1:27 pm

    I’m not sure it is even a "me so horny" moment.

    What the hell does this:

    of happy reproductive vigor in the framework of traditional companionate marriage

    even mean?

    Does the Derb have a definition of non-"companionate" (is that a word?) marriage?

    I’ve seen this notion before – that "we" should out-produce "they", because we’re obviously better, and so policy that makes more babies is inherently good, because raw numerical superiority combined with are ultra-‘leet capitalist conservative skills will rule, if only them dumb liberals will shut up for a bit. This from the same people that bitch about babies from the wrong sort (unmarried women, mostly), or immigrants (who _want_ to be here).

  110. 110.

    Original Lee

    November 17, 2008 at 12:41 am

    Probably too late to this thread, but a companionate marriage is a more-or-less equal partnership where the parties choose each other to be friends and companions while married, as opposed to an arranged marriage or a marriage of convenience or a surrendered marriage* or any of a variety of other marriage types. In some evangelical circles, they have to specify companionate marriages because some of the very conservative evangelicals believe that the headship of the husband is antithetical to companionate marriage.

    *I can’t remember right now if this is the correct term for the kind of marriage where the wife surrenders all decisionmaking to the husband.

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