Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

The snowflake in chief appeared visibly frustrated when questioned by a reporter about egg prices.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

Shut up, hissy kitty!

They don’t have outfits that big. nor codpieces that small.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

I don’t recall signing up for living in a dystopian sci-fi novel.

Decision time: keep arguing about the last election, or try to win the next one?

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Giving in to doom is how authoritarians win.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Consistently wrong since 2002

The “burn-it-down” people are good with that until they become part of the kindling.

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

You are here: Home / Archives for 2008

Archives for 2008

Update: 9,000,000th Visitor

by | 59 Comments

This post is in: 

And the winner is…

Well, I don’t know… I do know the IP Address, the Domain, and where the person is from. If you believe it’s possible you were the 9,000,000th visitor, leave a comment (include your location and ISP) and I will check the IP address against the Sitemeter database to see for sure (and I know Sitemeter is not necessarily the most accurate, but it’s the best I have.)

The winner visited at exactly 12:52:40 pm (Eastern) and is from Canada.

The prize is a $20 gift certificate of your choice. It has to be something I can get online and email to you.

Update: We have a winner!! Congrats, Partisan. Let me know in the comments what type of gift certificate you want, and I will email it to the address you use to comment.

Update: 9,000,000th VisitorPost + Comments (59)

Shitpile Update

by | 53 Comments

This post is in: 

This NY Times magazine piece about the credit rating agencies is depressing. Have fun.

As a side note, every time I link something about the housing market and the impending financial collapse to Tim via AOLIM, he comes back with an interesting post-apocalyptic fact. When I linked this to him, his response was:

“You know that deer and squirrels almost became extinct during the Great Depression?”

Shitpile UpdatePost + Comments (53)

The Final Tally

by | 91 Comments

This post is in: ,

Looking at the returns this morning, it is right where I thought it would be– 54.3-45.7 (with 9,203 out of 9,264 districts reporting), about a an 8 1/2% margin of victory for Hillary (I consistently predicted 8-12%, so this is neither a surprise nor a huge win in my book- this is about what I expected from the ideal state for her- not to mention the drubbing Obama has taken from Hillary, the media, and the GOP). A big enough margin for her to fall into the “gray area” as to what she needs to keep fighting on, but not big enough to really accomplish anything regarding the delegate count. And while her win does fall in that gray area she needed, it is probably important to note she has lost the Gray Lady.

What is shocking is the turnout- 2.5 million Democrats versus 750k Republicans voting statewide. That can not be good for the GOP down-ticket this fall.

Hillary’s campaign now seems to boil down to her playing the role of Lucy, with little more than catcalls that Obama “can not close the deal.” “Sure,” she seems to say, “he has kicked my ass in every measurable metric this campaign, but why, oh why can he just not finish me off? Clearly that means you should make me the nominee.”

Regardless, Hillary’s vanity campaign will continue on, trailing in delegates, trailing in the popular vote, trailing in enthusiasm and money, but not lacking in the firm resolve that only Hillary can save us all from our selves. I can not tell you how much I am looking forward to more Clintonian triangulation and McCain worship and plans to nuke Iran over the next two weeks as we wait for the super-delegates and the voters of North Carolina and Indiana to break out the wreath of garlic and wooden stakes so we can finally be rid of this menace.

And donate here. It sure will be nice when my money is going to something useful, like beating up on McCain, but such is the price of Hillary’s ego and inevitability. It will be worth every penny to send her packing.

*** Update ***

This is weird. According to the crack Balloon Juice research staff (aka the comments section), it appears that the official PA state election page is inaccurate. The actual margin of victory is 9.4%, and not the previously reported 8.5%. Duly noted. Nothing changes.

The Final TallyPost + Comments (91)

Most Terrifying Headline Ever

by | 56 Comments

This post is in: 

If you read this story, it is not even remotely funny, but it does have the most terrifying headline ever:

Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital

Lynchings AND penis theft? That can’t be good for tourism.

Consider this an open thread.

*** Update ***

BTW- The Day After is currently showing on the SciFi channel. I have not seen that movie since I was 12-13 years old. I remember another movie that terrified me when I was a kid was Gray Lady Down- there was a scene where they had to close off a hatch and drown a sailor. Still remember that.

*** Update #2 ***

I had forgotten Dorfman was in The Day After…

Most Terrifying Headline EverPost + Comments (56)

9,000,000

by | 36 Comments

This post is in: 

Unless it like, totally sucks around here, or unless John totally assplodes the site because of tonight’s results, Balloon-Juice will reach 9,000,000 visitors. Drop by and say hi. If I can, I’ll try to figure out from Sitemeter who the 9 millionth visitor is. There’ll be a nice prize. Meanwhile, if you’re sick of primaries, NBC is airing the Best of Chris Farley. I’d forgotten how funny he was.

Update -April 23, 10:39 EST: If you look at the Sitemeter button on the bottom part of the left frame, you’ll see how close you are. I’m thinking later in the day today.

9,000,000Post + Comments (36)