Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

American History and Black History Cannot Be Separated

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

This really is a full service blog.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

He really is that stupid.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Second rate reporter says what?

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

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93Comments

  2. 2.

    robertdsc

    Could anyone please inform me of the origins of Jonah Goldberg’s "Doughy Pantload" nickname? Thanks.

  6. 6.

    Punchy

    To all those who claimed the Cardz were gunna get rolled today, all I have to say is "scoreboard".

    They about to add another TD and crush the birds. Later I watch Manning light up the Choygahs.

    Life is gud.

  7. 7.

    Thom Jeff

    Is there any more fitting "featured" speaker than Joe the Plumber at CPAC 2000?

    Sometimes it’s hard to tell PJTV ads from The Onion.

  9. 9.

    JL

    @Punchy: I’m proud of the Falcons. After the Vick incident, I was pleased that they could recover so soon. Matt Ryan is young and is a great athelete with a bright future.

  10. 10.

    The Moar You Know

    @Incertus: I already knew that Charlie Daniels was a sometimes-entertaining songwriter and a very bad violinist. Now I also know he’s a fucking incoherent idiot. Thanks, I guess.

    Why is it that stupid people cannot perceive their stupidity? Why do they feel so compelled to share it with the rest of the world? You’d think this behavior would have purged from the species way back when – "hey guys, I know everyone think sabertoothed cats are dangerous, but the spirit of the flaming tree says they’re cuddly so I’m gonna go pet that one over there…"

  11. 11.

    AhabTRuler

    RE: The Coal Sludge Leak:

    Kingston Mayor Troy Beets said he let his grandchildren drink and bathe in city water at his house over the holidays and didn’t worry about it. At a Friday news conference, he drank a cup of water he said was straight from the tap in his home.

    I just love these empty, meaningless gestures about the safety of substances. I could huff a bag of raw asbestos and be fine, too…for a while.

  14. 14.

    Balconespolitics

    For the strong of stomach, AP’s Ben Fuller gives a very public and sloppy blowjob to George Bush:

    In sessions with policy experts, Bush tends to ask questions that get right to the nub of a sticky issue. His top aides speak regretfully about how the country never got to see that side of him, even after all this time. They describe a man who is deeply inquisitive, not blithely incurious as much of the world thinks. When Bush wants answers, guessing isn’t advised. "He can sniff it out a mile away if you don’t have the goods"; said White House communications director Kevin Sullivan.

    And that’s some of the easier BS to swallow …

  15. 15.

    Balconespolitics

    This one could spur it’s own parlor game/poll:

    His tangled moments have undoubtedly helped shape an unflattering public perception; there are entire books of his "Bushisms." Invariably, though, people who talk to him privately — historians, journalists, dissidents — come away with a very different impression of a meticulous thinker.

    Anyone want to come up with their favorite "different impression" list?

    Here’s my entry:

    Peter Galbraith – former U.S. diplomat: January 2003 the President invited three members of the Iraqi opposition to join him to watch the Super Bowl. In the course of the conversation the Iraqis realized that the President was not aware that there was a difference between Sunni and Shiite Muslims. He looked at them and said, "You mean…they’re not, you know, there, there’s this difference. What is it about?"

  16. 16.

    dmsilev

    via TBogg, Redstate continues to bring the highly amusing stupid:

    Under the new guard, before we lay our swords down, we shall be required morning reading by every staff in Washington and in state houses, of either party, in every bureaucracy. Democrats will read us and fear. So will Republicans, of the wuss, compromising, and RINO variants. WOLVERINES!!

    (OK OK, I added that last bit. Can you blame me?)

    -dms

  18. 18.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Montysano, he was a "Ghost Zipper", but he appeared on Ballroom Bedlam, Perennial Favorites, and Hot.

  19. 19.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    OT (and update) the GOS (the cat) has been venturing from the confines of the bedroom to the bathroom, at one point he put a paw into the living room until Cueball decided to come and have a look at which point GOS ran straight back under the bed. This is going to be a long and sorry story, which will no doubt include me and my DH being asphixiated by the smell of cat poop and pee. (Male at that). Having said that GOS now will allow me to scritch him, cuddle him, and snuggle him but at no point will he allow being picked up, or in any other way be manipulated. Only by having the bedroom windows open will we be able to actually live in the bedroom.

  20. 20.

    Cain

    Ladies and Gents, it is now cocktail hour with Joe the Plumber.. I’m currently having "Govt Sucks" cocktail consists of Vodka, bitters, lemon twist, and splash of 7-UP.

    (actually, I’m lying, but that isn’t a bad cocktail off the top of my head)

    Drink up. List your cocktails.. None for you Krista, on the fact that you’re creating new Canadians.

    cain

  21. 21.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    I am drinking the Yellow Tail Chiraz/Cabernet blend and to be honest I am going to be out of it in about three minutes. It is sad but true. It is 8:30 EST and I am about to go to bed. Pathetic.

  22. 22.

    South of I-10

    I’m still stuck on the Sebastiani Pinot Noir. So tasty. The 4 year old just asked me what light is. Anyone have an easy explanation? I think I got too technical.

  23. 23.

    Kathy

    A nice chianti for me tonight. We are watching the football game and the 8 year old asked me who we are rooting for. I think I got too technical also.

  24. 24.

    The Moar You Know

    JB Wagoner silver "JB Wagoner’s Ultra-Premium 100% Blue Agave Spirits" (since they can’t legally call it ‘tequila’ as it is made in the US), straight shots.

  25. 25.

    Cain

    @South of I-10:

    I’m still stuck on the Sebastiani Pinot Noir. So tasty. The 4 year old just asked me what light is. Anyone have an easy explanation? I think I got too technical.

    I got some Chillean wine, they make some very good wine. Slightly sweet, and lots of subtle flavors. I’m not drinking it cuz I’m making cocktails…
    cain

  26. 26.

    Cain

    @The Moar You Know:

    JB Wagoner silver "JB Wagoner’s Ultra-Premium 100% Blue Agave Spirits" (since they can’t legally call it ‘tequila’ as it is made in the US), straight shots.

    Nice, how does it compare with our neighbor down south?
    cain

  27. 27.

    Delia

    @Balconespolitics:

    This is the second and most developed version I’ve seen of this pathetic attempt to pretend that George Bush has any redeeming social value.

    I kind of liked the three little words "Don’t be late" as a summation of his character. Then I recalled those iconic pix of him a day or two after Katrina struck.

    The one where he pretends to play the guitar.

    And the one where he gives McCain a birthday cake.

    Never late or behind the curve for the things that matter. That’s Our George.

  28. 28.

    Cain

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    I am drinking the Yellow Tail Chiraz/Cabernet blend and to be honest I am going to be out of it in about three minutes. It is sad but true. It is 8:30 EST and I am about to go to bed. Pathetic.

    That’s an australian wine right? It’s not bad, but the south american wines are definitely better than the aussies IMHO.

    I came upw tih some strange cocktail that consists of Vodka, fresh tangerine juice, and triple sec. It’s not bad, but I wish I had some vanilla schnapps to put in it.

    Another good one is the electric smoothie, which consists, of soy milk, banana schnapps, vodka, and OJ.
    cain

  29. 29.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    As an aside my wisdom tooth is falling out, (due to the incredible pain I felt about a month ago) problem is there is a bit more tooth than is obvious that is going to fall out, I am not sure how the tooth is going to get out of the gum, me is thinking pliers may come into the story at this point.

  30. 30.

    TenguPhule

    "He can sniff it out a mile away if you don’t have the goods"; said White House communications director Kevin Sullivan.

    If we wanted crotch sniffing dogs we’d go to the pound.

  31. 31.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    @Incertus:

    Charlie Daniels probably ought to stick to fiddle playing competitions against the Devil, instead of talking about atheism.

    Well knock me over with a feather. Another celebrity who won’t be getting a MENSA recruiting letter.

  32. 32.

    South of I-10

    There was a Chilean wine that was served at the restaurant I worked at in college. I really liked it and it is driving me crazy that I can’t think of the name.

  33. 33.

    gnomedad

    The 4 year old just asked me what light is. Anyone have an easy explanation?

    Hmm, for a 4 year old? Lessee …
    Light is a little bit like the waves you see in water, except it’s little bits of waving or wiggling electricity and magnetism. The color you see depends on how fast it wiggles. Blue light wiggles about twice as fast as red light. Also unlike water waves, light comes in little packages called photons.
    Extra credit: lights has more energy the faster it wiggles. The x-rays the dentist uses are just like the light you can see except it wiggles much faster and has a lot of energy, so it can shine right through your teeth and take pictures of the insides.

  36. 36.

    South of I-10

    @gnomedad: Thanks! That is the first question she has really stumped me with and I don’t want to make up some BS. I just didn’t know how to say it that I wouldn’t completely confuse her. At least she has gone to bed now, she was full of questions today.

  37. 37.

    kay

    @Halteclere:

    # NativeTexan @ January 3rd, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    Our neighborhood will be safer with President Bush and The First Lady moving in. Welcome home Mr. President, Welcome Home!!!!!

  39. 39.

    Terri

    Yeah, the Bush article is a big hit here in The Land of The Nearly Dead. Some of the gushings on the local rag’s website are pure comedy gold. God Bless America.

    Avery Redpoint Amber Ale.

  41. 41.

    gnomedad

    Our neighborhood will be safer with President Bush and The First Lady moving in.

    Finally, somebody will be safer because of W.

  42. 42.

    Krista

    Drink up. List your cocktails.. None for you Krista, on the fact that you’re creating new Canadians.

    I’m all about the Virgin Caesar right now. (Similar to a Virgin Mary, but with Clamato instead of tomato juice, and no horseradish.)

    Besides, my liver is probably enjoying the vacation.

  49. 49.

    Comrade Kevin

    @GuyFromOhio:

    The bottles of Blue Moon are gone. Time to start working through the cans of Miller Genuine Draft.

    I’m sorry to hear that. I wouldn’t wish MGD on anyone. Isn’t Blue Moon really Coors?

  51. 51.

    demimondian

    @South of I-10: No. Even then, it has nothing to do with beer. It’s hops-flavored malt extract, not beer.

    But what do I know. FDDD had no trouble simply abstaining when she was pregnant.

  52. 52.

    passerby

    To all those who claimed the Cardz were gunna get rolled today, all I have to say is "scoreboard".

    @ Punchy
    Your cardinals played some terrific football today and their 12th man wasn’t just whistlin Dixie either. I rarely get to watch the Cards but after today, I hope they win the NFC. I always pull for the underdog (today I was just pulling against the Falcons).

    Their up against Carolina next. I usually pull for Delhomme and the Panthers. What do you think that match up is gonna look like?

  53. 53.

    Krista

    Yeah, I’m not really into the near-beer. If I get bored with juice, milk or water, there are plenty of interesting mocktails that one can make.

    e.g. Right now I’m drinking a blend of ginger ale, pink grapefruit cocktail, and cranberry cocktail, garnished with a slice of lemon. It’s quite lovely, actually.

  54. 54.

    South of I-10

    @demimondian: Alright. Your wife is a better person than I am. There was more than once I just wanted a beer and instead of having a beer, I had a hops-flavored malt extract. As far as the non-alcoholics go, it is not that bad.

  58. 58.

    passerby

    Blue moons are nice. Sorry your down to MGD Ohio man.

    Damn, how many times this game has Rivers dumped the ball?

    Both defenses are earning their pay tonight.

  59. 59.

    mikefromtexas

    Tonights football has been pretty good. SD just tied it up. Break out the Petron if you got it. Just don’t ruin it with salt and lime.

  62. 62.

    GuyFromOhio

    According to the Blue Moon mothership,

    Brewed by BMBC, Toronto, Canada. Imported by Blue Moon Brewing Company, Golden, CO.

    Well shoot, and I’d sworn off of Coors products on principle. And they are quite good, though I generally prefer a hoppier ale product.

    The MGD is just to kill the pain of watching the Colts play yet another quarter in the NFL, and to remind me I’m out of real beer.

  63. 63.

    Carrie

    Tommy Yum nom nom nom
    I love that song, it makes my bottom half do the meringue while the top half types out this comment.

  64. 64.

    GuyFromOhio

    Have to hand it to the Cards today, both offense and defense. There was some serious mental jujitsu going on to put the rookie Falcons QB in a bit ‘o tizzie.

    Have to hand it to SD defense for putting the spin on the Colts. Once that fire starts burning its a bit hard to put out. Though I have to wonder if its little earthquakes or jumpy Chargers fans that got the NBC camera shots all bouncy. Or maybe its the MGD starting to take its toll.

    Pop quiz: A playoff game can’t end in a tie, so what happens if no one scores in O/T?

  65. 65.

    passerby

    Pop quiz: A playoff game can’t end in a tie, so what happens if no one scores in O/T?

    Official, at the OT coin flip, said if no score after a quarter of play, they’d play another quarter.

  66. 66.

    GuyFromOhio

    Official, at the OT coin flip, said if no score after a quarter of play, they’d play another quarter.

    And so on and so forth – play till someone scores? Like right now – I didn’t think SD would settle for 3, after three first-down penalties against the Colts.

    Tomorrow’s fun starts with Ravens getting Squished by The Fish. Luckily, beer sells after 10:00am on Sundays.

  69. 69.

    Comrade Kevin

    Peyton Manning is ridiculously overrated.

    But aw, shucks, he’s a regular guy, you betcha! Haven’t you seen his TV commercials?

  70. 70.

    Original Lee

    Krista: Arnold Palmers are very nice in hot weather. Also, St. Pauli Girl nonalcoholic beer is pretty good if you start missing the taste.

    Just turned off BBC News all depressed because Israel has crossed into Gaza. Zogby of the Arab-American Institute gave what I thought was a very rational statement that boiled down to "Both of them are being idiots and everybody would be much happier if they would stop." We are unlikely to hear anything of that nature on U.S. channels, which made me even more depressed.

  73. 73.

    The Other Steve

    My neighbor has a dog which isn’t very friendly around other dogs, yet he continues to let the dog out without a leash.(We live in a row home… this is a city, not a farm)

    Well today he got aggressive with another dog, I was there to watch. Of course not having a leash he had no way of pulling him off. So he used his hand.

    And the dog proceeded to use his hand as a chew toy.

    I never had pets growing up. In fact I was always terrified of dogs because so many of them behaved aggressively in our neighborhood. What I’ve learned in recent years is that the problem wasn’t me. The problem wasn’t even the dogs. The problem was that most Americans ARE TOO FUCKING STUPID TO HAVE A DOG!

  74. 74.

    robertdsc

    Thanks to all for the Doughy Pantload info upthread. It’s one of those strange things you see all the time, but don’t know where it comes from. Now I know. :)

    I got a buddy of mine at another forum who’s a huge Peyton Manning fan. I took just one shot at him after tonight, then I’m gonna stay quiet. Ripping on Peyton is one of those things that I tend to lose control over, heh.

    -wears his Brady jersey with Super Bowl patches (note the plural, Peyton) to work.

  75. 75.

    Comrade Darkness

    The problem was that most Americans ARE TOO FUCKING STUPID TO HAVE A DOG OR CHILDREN!

    –so amended

  76. 76.

    Thlayli

    @GuyFromOhio:

    Yes, in the playoffs they keep playing until someone scores.

    If you include the AFL, there have been four games that lasted into the "sixth quarter", most recently Panthers vs Rams in 2003.

    ***

    Gee, wasn’t everyone saying all four road teams would win this weekend? Guess not.

  77. 77.

    Englischlehrer

    well, I will be on a train all afternoon going from northern to southern Germany where I will have 2 more days off before starting the work year. I dont know if English teaching will be as lucrative as it has been the past few years, mostly because of the financial crisis, but I bought some new hiking boots in case I dont have money to travel in the next years so I can go around the Black Forest with impunity!

  78. 78.

    DavInOz

    I’d highly recommend a Heathcote Shiraz if you can find one (Heathcote is a small country town in Victoria, Australia and the Shiraz from the region is generally awesome).

  81. 81.

    R-Jud

    @South of I-10:

    Boy, am I glad I’m knocked up in England. I was advised at my first appointment that "as far as alcohol goes, none in the first trimester, and after that only one glass of wine or beer, with food and water, once a week."

    I had a few sips of bubbly on NYE, so I’ll be having half a glass of Les Jamelles Cabernet Sauvignon with my Sunday roast (which is smelling up the house something lovely) a little later. Doctor’s orders!

    In other news, I find the things people do for fun absolutely fascinating.

    Coster-Mullen sees his project as a diverting mental challenge—not unlike a crossword puzzle—whose goal is simply to present readers with accurate information about the past. “This is nuclear archeology,” he told me, in a late-night phone call. “It’s like any other kind of archeology.”

    And then there’s this.

  82. 82.

    South of I-10

    @R-Jud: I think I had a glass or two at the end, but the pregnancy police are everywhere. There was a guy in my office who gave me crap about my one cup of coffee a day. I finally told him the coffee helped with the hangovers and he shut up. Anyway I’m done, so I won’t have to worry about it again.

  83. 83.

    demimondian

    @R-Jud: That’s actually more aggressive than the advice FDDD’s NP/midwife gave her during her last pregnancy, almost nine years ago. The midwife said "If you feel like having a drink, have *a* drink. There’s no danger or harm in having one beer, four ounces of wine, or a single jigger of distilled spirits. However, if you feel like having a second drink, don’t have the first one."

  85. 85.

    R-Jud

    @demimondian:

    Yeah, apparently these are new NHS guidelines. I was also told to avoid eating brie and camembert, because of the vanishingly small risk of listeriosis. A friend of ours who’s French heard that and laughed.

    @South of I-10:
    I may use that line– "it helps with the hangovers"– the next time someone gets mouthy with me about my apres-gym latte. That’s the only thing I’ve had any nasty unsolicited advice about so far.

  86. 86.

    Krista

    Yeah, apparently these are new NHS guidelines. I was also told to avoid eating brie and camembert, because of the vanishingly small risk of listeriosis. A friend of ours who’s French heard that and laughed.

    Yeah, I had heard that one too, and had to remind people that all commercially sold soft cheese here is pasteurized. Evidently deli meat and smoked salmon should also be avoided for the same reason.

  87. 87.

    Kathy

    Ah R and South, you are bringing back such fond memories. When I was pregnant with my son my husband and I went to Montreal for our 10th anniversary. I had 2 glasses of wine during the week. Luckily no pregnancy police and my son turned out fine.
    Krista, the only thing about being pregnant that sucked for me was the massive morning sickness at the beginning. It was truly worse than labor. Once that got past, being pregnant was actually kind of cool.

  89. 89.

    Punchy

    After Sproles coughs up the pig on the 2, I think the probability that Indy loses the game is 0.07 %. Unfuckingbelieveable

  90. 90.

    South of I-10

    @demimondian: Give him 10 years and he will be running the Republican party in Louisiana. He’s got it all planned out.

    R-Jud, you are welcome to use my line. Share it with the others, it works! I think it makes people realize quickly they are over the line. As far as soft cheeses go, as Krista said already, they are pasteurized here, so I never really got that one.

  91. 91.

    demimondian

    @R-Jud: In this regard, it helps to have a (pregnant) spouse who’s also a biologist; FDDD went off and looked through the journals herself.

    Her interpretation was that the risks are pretty well understood; basically, binging is *very* bad, low level consumption harmless or perhaps very slightly beneficial, and there’s a grey area in between. The advice that physicians were giving out was based on the simple assumption that the patients who needed advice at all, those who tended to drink in binges, also tended to lie about it, largely to avoid social stigma. Those women needed a clear, bright line: don’t drink. In order to avoid the stigma, the various Obstetric colleges settled on a universal rule: "Just Don’t Drink".

    The problem with that rule, of course, is that it’s utter nonsense — even soft drinks often have a small amount of ethanol in them — and it leads to pregnancy policemen who take it into their hearts to protect the poor weak women from themselves. That’s why I liked the NP’s advice.

  93. 93.

    GuyFromOhio

    @CRM:

    Shit dude…Coors Light for $1.50 draft…what are you tryin’ to do?

    I’m trying to avoid putting any coin in this dude’s pocket because apparently he is unable to hold his liquor and run a macro brewery at the same time.

    I bounce between MGD and Bud Light as a self-inflicted punishment for not having enough adult beverages on hand. My Coors days are over.

    Go Dolphins.

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