Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Dear legacy media: you are not here to influence outcomes and policies you find desirable.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Shut up, hissy kitty!

Nothing says ‘pro-life’ like letting children go hungry.

Weird. Rome has an American Pope and America has a Russian President.

The revolution will be supervised.

If you can’t control your emotions, someone else will.

“Perhaps I should have considered other options.” (head-desk)

The world has changed, and neither one recognizes it.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

There are no moderate republicans – only extremists and cowards.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Republicans in disarray!

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

American history and black history cannot be separated.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Giving in to doom is how authoritarians win.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

Disappointing to see gov. newsom with his finger to the wind.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

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Reader Interactions

227Comments

  1. 1.

    JGabriel

    Who is Robin Roberts and why do you know who she is? Is she someone the rest of us should know?

    Or am I being a clueless dork again, and the only one who doesn’t know who she (he?) is?

    .

  2. 2.

    Laura W

    For reasons I can’t explain, I ended up on Baba Wawa for the Hugh Jackman interview. Knew nothing at all about him, and now can’t wait to watch him.
    She’s a real journalist, that woman.

  3. 3.

    valdivia

    @Laura W:
    He is fantastic. I saw him host the Tonys a couple of years ago and he was great. I am not a musical sort of gal but he made a convert out of me.

  6. 6.

    JGabriel

    I just tried looking up Robin Roberts at IMDb and there’s like 8 or 9 different entries. I ask in true perplexity: who the fuck is Robin Roberts?

    .

  9. 9.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Hey, are a lot of women in orange this year? Not only was Robin Roberts (the tall, gorgeous red carpet host who just signed off to commercial) in coral-orange (OK dress, nothing special) but some other unidentified woman who showed up for a split second before commercial was in something intense and citrusy. Who was she?

    Oh, Tim, Tim, Tim Gunn: you’re so much better than the bots you’re working with, but so much better than your performance tonight.

    ETA: Tanya, spouse de Jack Black, is in flame-orange/vermillion. Yes, this is the year for orange. Yay for my favourite colour!

  11. 11.

    John Cole

    You don’t need finely honed gaydar when the announcer tells Marisa Tomei “Mickey Rourke says he loves seeing you with your clothes off, I love seeing you with your clothes on. What a fabulous gown!”

    I bet that made Brent Bozell throw up.

  12. 12.

    JGabriel

    John Cole: ESPN announcer.

    Ah. Thanks.

    Wait, a sports announcer? You’re right, that’s weird.

    And thank you, Laura, for the extra links and info.

    .

  14. 14.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    John, who said that to Tomei: Tim Gunn, or the other sliver fox?

    The set design sneak preview and musical styling tonight are all about glamorous 30s Hollywood and swing. Yep, it’s the Depression Oscars, folks!

    ETA: Yes, white/silver, too. Hathaway looked great in her silver coin/Grecian thing, but surprisingly, I liked Vanessa Hudgens’ bordello-bondage black dress, too.

  16. 16.

    Tymannosourus

    @JGabriel:

    Wait, a sports announcer? You’re right, that’s weird.

    Robin Roberts. has been doing one of the morning shows with Diane Sawyer for the last few years, I think… so she has been out of the sports realm for awhile. Plus, she got her start here in MN, so that’s a plus.

  25. 25.

    Laura W

    What an awesome way to introduce best supporting actress!
    Fresh, unique and moving.
    (Goldie is gonna be cute at 85.)

  31. 31.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    I love the idea of recognizing all the nominees, and I loved seeing Tilda Swinson (with LIPSTICK??!) and Cloris Leachman on stage. But while I can deal with getting dancers in the opening number off Craigslist, did they have to go to LiveJournal for writers?

    Plus, the wrong woman won, making my boyfriend Nate Silver look bad. I won’t forget this, academy.

  32. 32.

    Nicole

    @Laura W: Different strokes for different folks, I guess- I thought it was really boring. I’d much rather see scenes from the movies, not hear about the roles. Is there a reason they’re not doing that, do you know?

    Penelope Cruz gave a nice speech, though.

    Okay- who’s going to get the final spot on the Dead Parade? Guesses? Newman? Heston?

  36. 36.

    Laura W

    @Nicole: No, no idea why the change in format after a bazillion years of doing it the other way.
    I generally prefer "new and different", especially when it takes me by surprise.
    Plus, it was much more intimate and personalized, which I also prefer to repetition and ritual.
    (Edit: Just an attempt to articulate what I found so attractive about it. "Processing" aloud, if you will.)

  38. 38.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    It’s official: I would switch teams in a heartbeat for Tina Fey.

  39. 39.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Someone needs to tell Dustin Lance Black that only depraved killers use all three of their names professionally.

  40. 40.

    TheFountainHead

    Ledger might be the first but he certainly won’t be the last. I go Newman.

    depends on which order they go in I guess.

  43. 43.

    Comrade Kevin

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    Someone needs to tell Dustin Lance Black that only depraved killers use all three of their names professionally.

    Things like that often have to do with union rules about preventing two people from using the same professional name in credits.

  44. 44.

    Nicole

    @Laura W: No worries; it just wasn’t for me. The pacing in general seems really slow.

    Could be I just miss the tacky Oscars of yore. Bring back Debbie Allen’s awful dance numbers!

    Back in an hour. I gotta go watch me some wacky polygamists.

  55. 55.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Nate Silver? It’s over. My new boyfriend is Kunio Kato, who pulled off the only Styx reference I will ever like in my life.

  58. 58.

    JGabriel

    Damn. I thought Hellboy 2 was a shoo-in for best makeup. Guess Benjamin Button has more supporters than I thought.

    .

  63. 63.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Yep. I love my orange, but the mauve on Portman tonight was just brilliant.

    (Is the blush on her left cheek poorly applied, or does she have a scratch there?)

  65. 65.

    gbear

    Someone needs to tell Dustin Lance Black that only depraved killers use all three of their names professionally.

    Phillip Seymour Hoffman says he’s on it.

    Things like that often have to do with union rules about preventing two people from using the same professional name in credits.

    Yep. Union rules are the reason Phillip Seymour Hoffman uses three names. He was on Fresh Air a while back and told the story. Apparently the purpose of the rule is to prevent actors from getting checks meant for other actors. Phillip even got a few of the other guy’s checks before he finally gave in and added his grandfather’s name.

  66. 66.

    jenniebee

    Who exactly thought Jessica Biel’s dress was a good idea? It looks like a strapless satin flour sack.

    The one they showed in the clip of her at the technical awards was much nicer. Pity.

  69. 69.

    JGabriel

    gbear:

    Union rules are the reason Phillip Seymour Hoffman uses three names. … Apparently the purpose of the rule is to prevent actors from getting checks meant for other actors. Phillip even got a few of the other guy’s checks before he finally gave in and added his grandfather’s name.

    So did Just Some Fuckhead get some of Just Fuckhead’s checks before adding Some to his name?

    .

  70. 70.

    Studly Pantload

    Stiller FTW!

    And didn’t Martin & Fey take a swipe at Scientology? Gotta love those brave enough in Hollywood to laugh at themselves.

    Alas, haven’t seen any of these films except Wall-E and Milk, as the Mrs. and I are primarily renters. I do hear mixed things about Slumdog; anyone here with an opinion?

  72. 72.

    TheFountainHead

    anyone here with an opinion?

    Heh. Good one.

    No seriously, Slumdog Millionaire was really fantastic.

  74. 74.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Hey, Seth Rogen’s lost weight! We need to send him some beavertails.

    … and somewhere, Debbie Allen is smiling. Or gnashing her teeth.

  75. 75.

    gbear

    @JGabriel:

    So did Just Some Fuckhead get some of Just Fuckhead’s checks before adding Some to his name?

    Original Just Fuckhead was pissed!!

  79. 79.

    valdivia

    I have a soft spot for West Side Story so I liked that.
    why oh why is the Evita Peron music still chasing me….

    we should have known this was Lurhman

  80. 80.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Look, I love Hugh Jackman, but that was a fucking waste of musical time. They didn’t nominate Bruce, told Peter Gabriel he could do only an excerpt from his song, but they spent several minutes on that pointless pastiche instead of nominating the right songs and giving each of them a decent performance?

    Academy, if you make me dump Hugh, too, you will officially be On Notice.

  86. 86.

    Martin

    Oh, shoot me now. I fucking can’t stand award shows yet a friend of ours is up for an award so I feel compelled to wade through this sewer.

    Martin +not enough

  89. 89.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Laura W: I’ll have to catch it in OnDemand syndication. Mrs. Fuckhead is a little bit of an Academy Awards nazi. Well, to be fair, she’s just a fucking nazi. I didn’t even get to see the end of the race.

  90. 90.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Was Sean Penn holding back tears after Kline spoke, when Ledger’s family was walking up to the stage?

  91. 91.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    John, if yer sitting crosslegged on the bed crying, I’m sorry. It didn’t occur to me until just now that you could also be a supervillian.

  92. 92.

    D-Chance.

    Matt Kenseth is 2-for-2. After the big goose-egg last year, he’s on a rampage. Last week was the luck of the weather; this week, he pulled the racing equivalent of a 42-0 blowout… putting away Gordon by over a second, and the rest of the field by a country mile.

  93. 93.

    Studly Pantload

    I think Ledger had it aced either way. The movie wasn’t my cup of tea, but I recognize a singular performance when I see it.

  94. 94.

    themis

    @jenniebee:

    And Sis Ledger’s dress is stunning.

    Indeed – me want. Funny how a person who probably didn’t spring for a stylist looks better than most of the A-listers there. Well, except for Portman, whose dress I must have, even if I only wear it to vacuum the house.

  96. 96.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Kunio? I loved our time together, but it’s over. Philippe Petit performed legerdemain AND a balancing trick. We are Meant To Be.

  98. 98.

    Mr. Tactful

    That Megan Mylan, in the red dress…not a "Hollywood" beauty, but wasn’t she enchanting?

    I guess I am a sucker for long, dangly ear rings….

  101. 101.

    valdivia

    for the fashion inclined–out First lady was wearing a rocking dress tonight at the Governors dinner. If I find a good link I will add it.

  103. 103.

    Martin

    Yay! Our friend won for visual effects for Benjamin Button! Yeah, he’s as nervous as he thought he’d be giving the speech.

  109. 109.

    themis

    @Martin: Very cool. The speech was charming. It always amazes me that people who aren’t used to being in front of the camera can even get a word out during the Oscars.

  113. 113.

    JK

    I can’t recall another year that had so many outrageously overrated films such as The Wrestler, The Reader, Dark Knight, Iron Man, Slumdog Millionaire, and Benjamin Button. These films were an enormous waste of time and money.

    Hugh Jackman is breathtakingly horrible as a host. The Oscars must never ever again break the rule of having a comedian host the Oscars. Next year, the Oscars should be hosted by either Jay Leno, Conan O’Brien, Bill Maher, Denis Leary, Jerry Seinfeld, Ray Romano, Stephen Colbert, or David Spade.

    Mickey Rourke and Kate Winslet gave two of the most incredibly overrated performances of the past 25 years. It would be a crime if either of them wins an Oscar.

  114. 114.

    Martin

    The speech was charming. It always amazes me that people who aren’t used to being in front of the camera can even get a word out during the Oscars.

    He’s been getting more practice now that he gets interviewed more often. Mostly shows for movie geeks, but camera time is camera time and it all helps. He won a BAFTA a few weeks ago for the same work, and got a little practice there with the award thing. His wife was very excited to be able to buy an Oscar dress – we think she made a good choice.

  115. 115.

    Comrade Jake

    The local news station here will be telling us how you can get that red-carpet look on a tight budget.

    You know, for all the times you need to walk on a red carpet.

  118. 118.

    themis

    @Martin: Congrats to your friend on both awards. I can imagine that interviews and the experience at the BAFTAs helped, but the sheer size of an Oscar audience would make me speechless (and that doesn’t happen very often). Kudos all around. Oh, and being the fashion voyeur that I am, I’d love a link to a pic of her dress, if you happen across one.

    @Comrade Jake: I would guess that that segment would involve a new red welcome mat for the front porch and a bit of shoplifting?

  122. 122.

    JGabriel

    JK:

    Next year, the Oscars should be hosted by either Jay Leno, Conan O’Brien, Bill Maher, Denis Leary, Jerry Seinfeld, Ray Romano, Stephen Colbert, or David Spade.

    David Spade?

    I call spoof.

    .

  123. 123.

    colin k

    A freeper or Meteor Blades in disguise.

    Seriously, JK, how can you not like Iron Man or The Dark Knight?

  124. 124.

    themis

    Now that Slumdog is doing so well, can I now see more men wearing Nehru jackets? I’ve always loved that look. And yes, since you ask, I’d dress in native Indian women’s fashion if I could get away with it.

  125. 125.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    A.R. Rahman’s acceptance speech was sweet and sincere.

    And I really, really love the set design. Not so much the crystal curtain, but the linear motif they adapted/stole from Michelangelo’s cathedral plaza design. Stealing from the best is always a great idea.

  130. 130.

    AhabTRuler

    @themis: I have always wished that I could pull off a Nehru jacket

    With my current physique, I could easily channel Dr. Evil, or perhaps the bloated Morpheus from the later Matrix movies.

  131. 131.

    Nicole

    Hmm… that Baz Luhrman thing was no Debbie Allen. Well, Laura W, we have our memories… :)

    Seriously. Worst. Oscar show. Ever. I think the highlight was the Japanese guy saying "Domo arigato Mister Roboto."

    But congrats on your friend’s win, Martin- that’s terrific.

  133. 133.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    themis, I think he’s taken. I may be a saucy minx, but I’m no homewrecker.

    And yay for Martin’s friend (who I assume is also taken. Goodness, am I developing a reputation?)

  136. 136.

    TheHatOnMyCat

    This is the opposite of election night.

    That night, everything seemed possible.

    Tonight, this Oscar show

    OMFG Queen Latifah is exploding out of that dress, and singing terribly off key.

  138. 138.

    Nicole

    For the love of Pete, would it kill them to just put the damn clips up? I do not need to see all the TV screens and Queen Latifah.

    Ohhh… Harold Pinter. :(

  140. 140.

    Nicole

    WTF? Do they assume we all have ginormous TV screens and can see the teeny tiny images they are showing? I can’t believe they showed a shot of Ricardo Montalban that was so wide I couldn’t tell who it was. A little more respect for Kahn, please!

  142. 142.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Great set design, fucking awful writing and direction for the most part. But what do you bet this awful show gets nominated for an Emmy?

    (OK, most of the montages and the comedy films were good, and Fey/Martin were good presenters. And there has been my succession of boyfriends with great speeches. But did they spend any time writing or rehearsing the rest of it?)

  143. 143.

    themis

    @AhabTRuler: Hee. Great mental visual. But I think that’s better than a pale-skinned blonde wearing loads of hot pink silk. I’d look like a florist exploded, but I adore the look and the comfort of a real sari.

  145. 145.

    Laura W

    @Comrade Jake:

    The local news station here will be telling us how you can get that red-carpet look on a tight budget.
    You know, for all the times you need to walk on a red carpet.

    Here’s my impressive contribution to that.
    A very close friend of a very close friend was to be interviewed ON THE RED CARPET on E Channel at 4:18 EST. I actually managed to be just out of the shower and caught her segment. She was adorable, if a bit nervous, of course, and did a great job of promoting her handbag line and mentioned her web site at least twice.
    Gotta love it:

    A perfect blend of timeless Hollywood glamour, style, sass, understatement, elegance, humor and warmth. This is Mary Norton. A collection of exquisitely handcrafted shoes and handbags.
    All created with the understanding that women walk the red carpet and walk the dog, all in the same day.

    I’d add: "And scoop the fucking litter boxes", but that’s why I don’t get paid to write copy for designer handbag web sites.
    But there were a couple nods to: "How can we afford all this red carpet elegance in this black sheet economy?" and I did learn that feathers are the new…um…whatever was last year’s feathers.
    I’m tragically un-elegant.

  149. 149.

    JK

    How can anyone take the Oscars seriously when they overlooked Orson Welles for Best Actor in Citizen Kane, Peter O’Toole for Best Actor in Lawrence of Arabia, Al Pacino for Best Actor in The Godfather Part II, and Denzel Washington in Malcolm X?

    How can anyone take the Oscars seriously when they overlooked John Cassavetes, John Sayles, and Spike Lee for Best Director?

    How can anyone take the Oscars seriously when they overlooked Manhattan, Mean Streets, Goodfellas, and Reds for Best Picture

  151. 151.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Oh, THAT’S Danny Boyle. I thought Morrissey had just gotten a gig as seat-warmer.

  152. 152.

    colin k

    Props/indie cred for using the Escape From New York clip for Isaac Hayes.

    But, umm, where the fuck was Jack Warden? Or Heath for that matter? Wtf.

  153. 153.

    Nicole

    Well, Danny, thanks for telling us the show looks great live. It looks like shite on our TVs.

    But I’m happy for him- he’s directed a lot of good movies.

  154. 154.

    JGabriel

    JK:

    How can anyone take the Oscars seriously when they overlooked … [ed. summary: yadda yadda yadda]

    JK, you’re flawed assumption here is that anyone takes the Oscar’s seriously. Look at the posts here. Notice the snark?

    No one really takes them seriously.

    BTW, I still call spoof.

    .

  155. 155.

    Laura W

    Oscar footwear trips the mod filter.
    Oscar footwear trips the mod filter.
    Christ. Why can’t I ever manage to retain that simple fact?
    (Praise Be the Mod Gods!)

    Edit: Oh no! They’re doing it again with the Ladies on Ladies Love.
    I heart this new format! Sisters lovin’ on Sisters. Very moving. IMO.

  157. 157.

    Nicole

    @JK: Nobody takes the Oscars seriously except the participants. Which is why we get pretentious, unfunny shows such as this one. I say again, bring back Debbie Allen’s monstrous extravaganzas. And it would be super awesome if some of the winners could maybe take it upon themselves to be drunk next year.

    Wow. Bitter, party of Nicole? I’m overwhelming myself. At least Big Love was good tonight.

  159. 159.

    Nicole

    Oh bloody hell, now it’s another welcome to our Special Club Time. (I’m sorry, Laura W; just my opinion, really)

    Oh, never mind. I’m a big Shirley Maclaine fan so it’s nice to see her.

  161. 161.

    Stimpy

    If any of you noticed the Jerry Lewis bit you may remember that at the very end of the presentation they showed a close-up on the mega-jumbo-tron of Jerry with a cute little kid. For about 15 seconds.

    That would be my wife’s little girl (!).

    We had no idea Jerry was even getting an award, let alone that our daughter would be up there in front umpety millions of folks.

    I thought my wife was going to lose it. Very very cool moment for both her and my daughter.

    Just wanted to share a cool moment. Now back to your regular snarking.

  164. 164.

    JK

    The latest Oscar outrage – Marianne Cottilard, a 9/11 conspiracy nut being chosen as an Oscar presenter.

    Will the Motion Picture Academy top this next year by having an Oscar presenter who is a Holocaust denier?

  167. 167.

    Laura W

    @Nicole: Oh suck it up for the Sisterhood of the Out on the Limbers, for cripe’s sake.
    Sniff sniff….
    Now we can all live our lives again.
    Finally Kate.

  170. 170.

    John Cole

    I guess I have no taste, because I have not noticed anything particularly awful about the show, and I like the montage of dead people.

    I am sick of Kate Winslett, though.

  171. 171.

    TheHatOnMyCat

    Will the Motion Picture Academy top this next year

    Heh. As if that were possible. What could possibly top this night?

    Seriously, how much kleenex can one man use in two hours?

    I’ve cried so much, my veins have collapsed.

  172. 172.

    Neal

    Oh, THAT’S Danny Boyle. I thought Morrissey had just gotten a gig as seat-warmer.

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed that resemblance.

  173. 173.

    Nicole

    @Stimpy: Thank you to you and Martin for giving some behind-the-scenes stuff to keep this show from being a total waste of my time. Seriously. That’s very cool to know and what a neat surprise for your wife and her daughter!

    Okay, props to Kate for giving a shout-out to Peter Jackson as I looooooove Heavenly Creatures.

  174. 174.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Mrs. Fuckhead is crying along with Kate Winslett. She really takes these awards seriously, JK.

  175. 175.

    AhabTRuler

    I am sick of Kate Winslett, though.

    I thought the shot of her in Vanity Fair on Wolcott’s website (I think he has a man crush on you John) was hot, but beyond that she is beneath my notice.

  176. 176.

    AhabTRuler

    I looooooove Heavenly Creatures

    Ok. I will admit that it is a good movie. However, when the SO and I watched it, we were so confused by the clay people. We were baffled. We wondered if the video tape had been copied over or something.

  179. 179.

    JGabriel

    John Cole:

    I am sick of Kate Winslet, though.

    Winslet gets a lifetime pass for her performances in Heavenly Creatures and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. And Jude and Iris and Sense & Sensibility.

    .

  180. 180.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    I think the writer who supplied the lines for Jesus Brody just embarrassed Richard Jenkins by saying, effect, "You never heard of this guy, but I swear to God, if you just Google him, he really has worked in this town before."

    ETA: I like Winslet, and not just because there’s not a molecule of botox in her.

  181. 181.

    Nicole

    Ok. I will admit that it is a good movie. However, when the SO and I watched it, we were so confused by the clay people. We were baffled. We wondered if the video tape had been copied over or something.

    Now see? Why can’t the people on the Oscars say things like that? ‘Cause that’s funny.

  183. 183.

    TheHatOnMyCat

    Penn gets a tip of the CatHat for the props to Mickey Rourke.

    Now I am off to cry some more.

    Does anyone have salt tablets?

  184. 184.

    JK

    Sean Penn and Penelope Cruz’s win prevent a Defcon 1 disaster. Kate Winslet’s win was horrible enough but adding Mickey Rourke and Marissa Tomei would have created Defcon 1.

  186. 186.

    Nicole

    You know- I just thought of something. Remember Kate Winslet doing the pilot episode of Extras where she said she was playing a character in a Holocaust film solely so she’d get an Oscar? I like her and all, but heh. Heh heh heh heh heh. I love a punchline that takes what, 3 years to land? Well played, Mr. Gervais, well played.

  192. 192.

    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse

    Ooh! That poor woman either had a botched eyelift, or else she’s one of those people who desperately need an eyelift just to see, not for cosmetic reasons.

  195. 195.

    Conservative Values Lovers All Over The Intertoobs

    @John Cole:

    Why put off til tomorrow what we can start right now. Sean Penn is a liberal communist PC moonbat who hates God, America, family values, and the Flag.

    Of course that wasn’t close to two minutes but you really put me on the spot.

  196. 196.

    Nicole

    @Laura W: I was feeling terribly clever until two minutes ago when a friend told me Gervais himself pointed out the same thing at one of the awards shows I didn’t watch (which would be all of them except for the Oscars).

  197. 197.

    Nicole

    And can we now talk about the single most horrifying image from the evening? I am, of course, speaking of Hugh Jackman giving a lap dance to Barbara Walters. Sweet Jesus. My eyes. My poor, defenseless eyes.

  198. 198.

    burnspbesq

    You can find all kinds of crazy, chilling shit on the Toobz when you’re trying to avoid the Academy Awards.

    Like this.

    Kinda puts the whole exercise in perspective.

    Sorry to be a buzz-kill, but this story really freaks me out.

  200. 200.

    bago

    That whole buffalo kill thing literally drove my ex-roommate crazy. She had to run PR interference for the company.

  205. 205.

    JenJen

    @Stimpy: OK, that just became my favorite Oscar moment!

    I was sitting there thinking, "Damn, I loved Jerry Lewis so much when I was a kid." My brother and I used to put on those Backyard Carnivals to raise money for MD.

    Thanks for sharing that, Stimpy!!

  206. 206.

    JenJen

    So E! just told me that the signs Sean Penn was referring to read "Heath Ledger Deserved To Die."

    I can only guess it was that f!ckknob Westboro Baptist Church or something?

    Sean’s speech rawked. And he’ll always be Jeff Spicolli to me.

    John wrote:

    Penn’s speech will trigger two minutes of hate at the usual suspects tomorrow.

    I ran right over to Malkin and was honestly shocked she didn’t have something up about it yet. Tomorrow maybe she’ll organize a protest to represent the awesome grassroots movement against Moonbat-In-Chief Sean Penn? Gosh I hope so! :-)

  207. 207.

    Mr Furious

    Buzzflash:

    Fred Phelps has said that recently departed, Australian Hollywood actor Heath Ledger deserved to die and is now burning in hell because he played the role of a gay cowboy in the Academy Award Winning 2005 romantic drama Brokeback Mountain.

    Phelps = Westboro, right?

    Asshole.

  210. 210.

    JenJen

    @electrophoresis: Just speaking for myself, I read Glennzilla’s piece before the Oscars started, and the Oscars served as a nice respite from the "Obama is a radical commie" shite for a minute. I’m also not one to wear out my Outrage Meter only four weeks in. It’s going to be eight long years of this tub-thumping from the right; I think we all need to conserve our energy.

    Every now and then, we deserve a deep breath and some mindless fantastical entertainment. So sue us. Look, pretty dresses!! And besides, I got my political fix when FoxNews-Limbaugh-Gingrich-Beck-Keyes-Malkin were elegantly put in their places tonight by Sean Penn, before an audience of millions worldwide. Rawked!!

  212. 212.

    Mako

    How can anyone take the Oscars seriously when they overlooked Orson Welles for Best Actor in Citizen Kane, Peter O’Toole for Best Actor in Lawrence of Arabia, Al Pacino for Best Actor in The Godfather Part II, and Denzel Washington in Malcolm X?

    How can anyone take the Oscars seriously when they overlooked John Cassavetes, John Sayles, and Spike Lee for Best Director?

    How can anyone take the Oscars seriously when they overlooked Manhattan, Mean Streets, Goodfellas, and Reds for Best Picture

    Seriously, when Scorcese gets an Oscar for the inexorable "Departed" instead of his best movie "Bringing Out The Dead"… it’s all a joke.
    But apparently Reese Witherspoon wore too much makeup!

    Good thing we subsidized the analog to digital TV makeover.
    God what a joke the US has become.

  213. 213.

    Mako

    Every now and then, we deserve a deep breath and some mindless fantastical entertainment. So sue us. Look, pretty dresses!!

    Be sure to get back to us on that next year when you are hobo-living under a highway overpass. Gaddamn, you people are in denial.

  215. 215.

    Mako

    @electrophoresis:

    Wow. Greenwald’s gone all screechy. There’s a surprise,Thanks for sharing that link.
    Guess I now have to live in fear of the "Rush-Limbaugh/Fox-News/nationalistic movement" and Michelle Maklin.

    Does this mean i no longer have to worry about the Islamic terror threat?

    Can I still worry about deflation and hyper-inflation and the collapsing petro-argicultural paradigm?

  216. 216.

    JenJen

    @Mako:

    Be sure to get back to us on that next year when you are hobo-living under a highway overpass. Gaddamn, you people are in denial.

    BOB has some Red Carpet competition! Watch your back, Anne Hathaway! Meeee-ow!

  217. 217.

    Mako

    BOB has some Red Carpet competition! Watch your back, Anne Hathaway! Meeee-ow!

    Meh. Pretty sure BOB, whatever his limitations, can figure out blockquoting, girlfriend. Nannee.

    But let’s look a this-
    nymag.com/daily/fashion/2009/02/oscar_red_carpet.html#photo=1

    Look, Emile Hirsch, we all know you got the gig cuz you look like DiCaprio, now pull your pants up.
    I got a lampshade looks just like Miley Cyrus. And that song "Achey Breakey Heart"? Sucked.
    Virginia Madsen? Has anyone cared after "Zombie High"? No.
    Hopkins, Glover and Kline, still barely alive and hanging with the young meat.
    Vanessa Hudgens, Taraji Henson, John Legend, Freida Pinto… good to see the cable channels no one watches getting some love.

    Oh dear god its mule-faced has-been-girl in Dior Haute Couture!

    Marisa Tomei still looks good and dear god Sophia Loren is still alive!? and Tinda Swinton needs to eat a sandwich or something and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if next week i saw hot man-on-man Daniel Craig/Zac Efron action on YouTube.

    Fuck the Oscars.Fuck the red carpet. What’s Brad Pitt or that trollop wife of his ever done for me?

  218. 218.

    Jack Roy

    I didn’t watch and I have no idea what John Cole is talking about in the post above, but given the lack of baseball chatter I am assuming he did not mean former Phillies pitcher Robin Roberts.

    Man, that guy was great. Once retired twenty-seven in a row after giving up a leadoff hit (a homer, natch); Bill James has him leading the NL in Win Shares for like seven consecutive years (which, incidentally, occurred right before the league awarding the Cy Young award, so no one remembers those years).

    But he’s like eighty now and has, as far as I recall, no connection to Hollywood, so it probably wasn’t him, huh?

  219. 219.

    Mako

    @Jack Roy:

    No offense Jack, but you have too many words on your blog.
    Hard-core editing for readability is good.
    You might want to change the font too.
    Otherwise it’s interesting.

  220. 220.

    DanJoaquinOz

    Great re-invention of a tired format. Jackman’s hosting was alternately bravura, irreverant, hilarious, generous and incredibly humble. Inspired choice. Anne Hathaway as Nixon was bizarrely dazzling. Loved James Franco and Seth Rogan as couch-stoners totally cracking up over Doubt and The Reader, and Ben Stiller’s Joaquin Phoenix was cringingly perfect.

    The use of star-studded quintets of past winners as presenters in the acting categories was pure genius. The acknowledgement of hugely successful genres that don’t necessarily get awards -Comedy, Musical & Action – was long overdue. I was personally delighted by the awards to Penelope Cruz and Sean Penn, the writing award for Milk, the post-humous award to Heath Ledger and that the ‘minor’ awards were so evenly shared between Button and Slumdog. While my personal favourite for actress – Angelina Jolie after her harrowing, gut-wrenching performance in The Changeling -didn’t win, Kate Winslett’s entirely predictable success didn’t ruin the night for me. As a film buff and shameless award show junkie, I thought, overall, it was excellent.

  222. 222.

    Mako

    Kate Winslett’s entirely predictable…

    She was naked again? Sigh.
    Don’t know about you, but I tire of seeing her large bare buttocks.

  223. 223.

    Bob In Pacifica

    Yeah, Nicole, what was that thing with showing the dead parade on a big screen in the hall, but broadcasting it from a camera in the back of the hall? Here in Pacifica we were squinting and saying, "Who’s that?"

    Also, I am the guy who saw "Man On Wire" and for my money that French guy is an ass clown.

    After Rourke’s performance on the awards show on Saturday, I’m glad Penn won for Best Actor. What’s the over/under on how many meds Mickey is on? Fifteen?

  224. 224.

    Comrade Dread

    I really need to get busy, sit down, and write a screenplay about a gay guy set during the Holocaust.

    Instant Oscar.

  226. 226.

    DanJoaquinOz

    Mako – weirdly enough it wasn’t Winslett’s over-familar milky glutes or Jolie’s distractingly feline comeliness that informed my opinion of either performance. I think Kate Winslett looks fine in and out of clothes, and while Angelina looks, if anything, even finer, I actually, genuinely preferred Jolie’s performance. She just tore my heart out in The Changeling. Jolie’s undeniable, almost freakish glamour is arguably her worst impediment as an actress playing a mere mortal, but in this role, as in A Mighty Heart, her talent transcended and ultimately eclipsed the elephant-in-the-room that is her great beauty. Paul Newman had the same problem until he got older – he was so handsome that people honestly didn’t notice he was great, incredibly subtle actor.

  227. 227.

    Atanarjuat

    Regardless of how gaudy the Academy Awards are, or how obsessed many here are with celebrities (for and against), I just wanted to say that one film did deserve an Oscar, and it won. "La Maison en Petits Cubes," written and directed by Kunio Kato.

    You can see it on YouTube in its entirety, as well as the acceptance speech by the creator himself (which, by far, was the absolute BEST speech of the entire night, in my opinion).

    -A

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