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T R E 4 5 O N

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You are here: Home / Politics / Seventy years of solitude

Seventy years of solitude

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I’m not so much in the mood to make fun of Congressional Republicans today, but I’d be remiss if I let this pass:

JMM writes:

This is the scoring the House Republicans have provided, tracking Democratic budget policy and theirs over the next 70 years. As you can see, predicting ideological stances over as yet unborn Democratic members of Congress, the GOP scoring appears to have us on track for the government owning about 90% of the economy in the early-mid-22nd century, which if I remember is about the time period of the invention of the warp drive. So I don’t know if they’ve figured that in too.

Even the Politico gets in on the act a bit:

“If you expected a GOP alternative to the failed policies of the past that got our country into the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, then I have two words for you: April Fool’s,” said Kenneth Baer, communications director for the Office of Management and Budget.

Indeed, many of the tax ideas show no effort to temper those tax breaks — under the Bush Administration—which most benefit upper income families. And Ryan would add on top of this a cut in the corporate tax rate to 25 percent from 35 percent and temporarily suspend all capital gains taxes for 2009 and 2010.

This is just embarrassing. It’s like watching a Pauly Shore movie.

Reader Interactions

86Comments

  5. 5.

    Delia

    I hear there’s a Three Stooges movie coming up. Sean Penn’s going to be in it. Maybe that will help.

  7. 7.

    MikeJ

    That’s it. We need to toss these jokers and get a real opposition party. Who’s on deck?

    (Looks at Libertarian Party).

    Dave’s not here man.

  9. 9.

    beltane

    They should have stuck with the diagram. At least that worked as a joke. This is simply the worst April Fool’s prank ever.

  10. 10.

    Stabetha

    Looking at that graph reminds me of the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

    Don’t look at it!

    *face melts*

  11. 11.

    David

    It’s a "road" picture:

    The Republican Road to Recovery starring Bing Crazy and Bob Hopeless

  12. 12.

    Warren Terra

    The Republicans are still worried about all the capital gains liabilities people are facing? With the current real estate and stock market crashes?

  13. 13.

    Apsaras

    In 1954, Roger Bannister ran a mile in three minutes, and fifty-nine point four seconds.

    In 1993, Noureddine Morceli ran the same mile in three minutes, forty-four point four seconds.

    Maths tells me that in 2422, a man will run a mile in less than a minute.

    And before the twenty-fifth century is out, a man will finish running a mile before he even started!

    BEHOLD THE POWER OF MATH

  15. 15.

    valdivia

    @Apsaras:

    FTW.

    I linked to this on another thread but what is best about this budget is that they predict their ‘deficit’ based on the top rate of 35 being chosen by everyone even when they are giving the choice of a 25% rate. So why offer it if they are basing their calculations on the existing one?

  16. 16.

    Leelee for Obama

    In fairness, you have to give them credit for consistency. They have always been full of shit, and they still are, with pride!

    One can only wonder what these dipsshits would manage to do in the real world. Can you picture them pitching a pile like this to a Board of Directors? Comedy Gold!

    They would suddenly need to rethink a social safety net, methinks!

    BTW-Did they bother to merge last week’s cool graphics with this crap?

  17. 17.

    SpotWeld

    This is pretty much the same sort of math that said Morgage Backed Investments were a good idea in the first place?

  18. 18.

    gbear

    There are people who will believe that graph. They are e-mailing it to their brothers, sisters and children as we speak.

    edit: and they are using ALL CAPS!!

  19. 19.

    Keith

    I notice that around 2028, they’ve got the Dem deficit skyrocketing whereas the GOP budget starts to drop at the same time. Is that supposedly the point where we either keep Social Security how it is vs. privatizing it? Other than that, I don’t much see the point attacking Obama with a hypothetical deficit spike 20 years from (other than "shut up, that’s why")

  20. 20.

    dmsilev

    @Apsaras:
    Mark Twain beat you to it:

    In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Lower Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. This is an average of a trifle over one mile and a third per year. Therefore, any calm person, who is not blind or idiotic, can see that in the Old Oolitic Silurian Period, just a million years ago next November, the Lower Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long, and stuck out over the Gulf of Mexico like a fishing-rod. And by the same token any person can see that seven hundred and forty-two years from now the Lower Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long, and Cairo and New Orleans will have joined their streets together, and be plodding comfortably along under a single mayor and a mutual board of aldermen. There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

    -dms

  21. 21.

    chuck

    @SpotWeld

    Mortgage-backed investments are in fact an excellent security.

    When they haven’t been tranched, obfuscated, resold like shares in Springtime for Hitler, and covered with 80-1 spreads in side bets that is.

    Right now of course they aren’t, because even the odd honest security has been pulled down into the tar pit with the rest.

  23. 23.

    Warren Terra

    Given that John claims that he monitors the winger blogs and mocks as needed (and given that I don’t): is anyone taking this crap seriously?

  24. 24.

    Leelee for Obama

    Mortgage-backed investments are in fact an excellent security.

    When they haven’t been tranched, obfuscated, resold like shares in Springtime for Hitler, and covered with 80-1 spreads in side bets that is.

    Or, perhaps, when they are mortgages held by people who can actually pay them without working 75 minimum wage jobs or selling their kidneys.

  26. 26.

    MikeJ

    And before the twenty-fifth century is out, a man will finish running a mile before he even started!

    And at the time of Christ the fastest man on earth could run a mile in 15 minutes!

  28. 28.

    SpotWeld

    @chuck

    That’s sort of my point. (I should have said "It’s the sort of math that made all Morgage Backed Investments look like a good idea)

    When you just looking at the output from a black-box equation without "looking under the hood" to see where those numbers are coming from, then anything with the tag "MBI" on it is considered a good invenstment.

    The GOP numbers in the graph above only look good if you skip considering any of the math that had to go into creating them, and accept it based solely on the fact they are numbers you want to agree with.

  30. 30.

    MikeJ

    Given that John claims that he monitors the winger blogs and mocks as needed (and given that I don’t): is anyone taking this crap seriously?

    I checked red state. Nothing about the gop "budget", but they were pretty upset about an April fool’s story from Car & Driver saying Obama forced GM to quit NASCAR.

  31. 31.

    Left Coast Tom

    The GOP numbers in the graph above only look good if you skip considering any of the math that had to go into creating them, and accept it based solely on the fact they are numbers you want to agree with.

    First people complain their "budget" lacks numbers, now they have numbers and people think they should use math to derive their numbers? Some people will never be satisfied.

  32. 32.

    chuck

    @Leelee

    Or, perhaps, when they are mortgages held by people who can actually pay them without working 75 minimum wage jobs or selling their kidneys.

    The price levels were unsustainable, yes. Pumped up in part by the unregulated speculation craze in the first place. But In a reality-based market, there wouldn’t be a bad mortgage to securitize. Hey, I’m renting too.

  33. 33.

    passerby

    It’s like watching a Pauly Shore movie.

    Perfect.

    I’ve been at a lost to come up with something that exactly embodies my sentiment about the republican circus since inauguration day. So thank you for that. I think I sprained my eyes from rolling them back in my head every time these clowns step up to a microphone.

    And like Pauly Shore movies, sad, just sad.

  34. 34.

    sstarr

    One can only wonder what these dipsshits would manage to do in the real world. Can you picture them pitching a pile like this to a Board of Directors? Comedy Gold!

    These dipsshits ARE EXACTLY LIKE the idiots in the boardrooms of AIG, GM, GE etc. They looked at illogical graphs just like this one, except the red line was labeled "PROFITS."

    Can’t we just give up the idea that "the private sector" is full of wise, careful and diligent people right now? I’ve seen how the private sector and the government have run their affairs over the past decade, and frankly I’ll take the government.

  36. 36.

    Adrienne

    I don’t give a shit what any of you say, this shit is HILARIOUS!!! They were seriously better off with the bubbles and unicorns and rainbows!

    Did any of you notice how their projection of the Dem plan begins to spike in year 2024 – which is 8 or 12 years from the end of the Obama administration. So not only does Obama suck but if his plan passes any other President after him will also suck, even more actually. This shit is seriously hilarious. I might get in trouble for the random outbursts of laughter coming from my cubicle. My sides hurt!

  37. 37.

    sgwhiteinfla

    Montysano

    I have to admit that I am anxiously waiting to see who Tweety is going to evicerate today. He only gave a preview on Morning Joe when he said directly to Paul Ryan that this plan sounds too much like Hoover and I can guarantee you that if a Republican is stoopid enough to go on his show today to sell this plan he is going to unload.

  38. 38.

    Leelee for Obama

    @chuck:

    I absolutely agree that a security backed by real mortgages, and real Triple A ratings and only one CDS held by the entity that actually holds said security is likely a good investment.

    What amazes is that that scenario wasn’t good enough. To say nothing of the fact people were not just allowed, but encouraged, to use their Home as an ATM. There is not a hot enough circle of hell for the SOBs who perpetrated this mess.

  39. 39.

    Leelee for Obama

    @sstarr:

    What can I say, You’re right. I was living in a different era where corporate people would point and laugh!

    I’m back now!

  40. 40.

    Warren Terra

    I can’t believe that this thread doesn’t already contain a cite of this detail of the R budget "plan":

    [T]he GOP budget permanently extends President Bush’s 2001 and 2003 tax cuts. A Republican budget committee aide said that the revenues assumed in the GOP budget are based on the current tax structure that resulted from those cuts.
    In other words, Republicans are assuming that given the choice between a higher rate and a lower rate, Americans will choose the higher rate…. If taxpayers did decide to pay the lower rate, government revenue would plummet by roughly $300 billion per year, said economist Dean Baker of the liberal-leaning Center for Economic Policy Research.

    (via)

  41. 41.

    passerby

    @sgwhiteinfla:

    I have to admit that I am anxiously waiting to see who Tweety is going to evicerate today. He only gave a preview on Morning Joe when he said directly to Paul Ryan that this plan sounds too much like Hoover and I can guarantee you that if a Republican is stoopid enough to go on his show today to sell this plan he is going to unload.

    Last week Maddow set a countdown clock for today when the Republicans promised to provide their real plan.

    More and more, no body’s buying this shit. The obstructionists are in an unjustifyable economic position. The shows oughta be good tonight.

    [/stocks up on popcorn]

  43. 43.

    Warren Terra

    @ Valdivia #42
    Oops, missed your mention (I did read the thread at some point, albeit clearly not very carefully).

  44. 44.

    martha

    When I first saw the chart, I thought it was another chart of Dem’s increasing approval rating. But no!

    Paul Ryan (or Eddie Munster, as my other half likes to call him) wants so badly to be a somebody. I just wish the D’s would find someone decent to run against him. His district is in economic melt-down, partly due to the Janesville GM plant shutdown.

  45. 45.

    passerby

    @martha:

    When I first saw the chart, I thought it was another chart of Dem’s increasing approval rating. But no!

    I had the same initial reaction. I thought the red line was economic growth produced by Obama’ plan and the green line seemed to represent the SS/DD approach that the republicans are pushing.

  46. 46.

    Kirk Spencer

    I just finished my first and second reads of this 64 page document. (well, by printing – there are a lot of blank pages.) Ignoring all the little pieces, here’s the plan as I get it:

    a) increase military spending and keep all other agencies at present levels of funding;
    b) reduce taxes by at least 25%. (Individuals over 50,000 taxable income at 25%, everyone else at 10%.)
    c) Cut Congressional spending waste to make expenditures match revenues.

    What, you don’t believe c? Go read the plan – the only expenditure cuts for 2010 are in "the reconciliation process" and "Budget Process Reform." The other expenditure cuts – killing social security and medicaid, reducing medicare – aren’t immediate but only as those 55 and over die off, after a couple years of determining the appropriate process of doing these cuts.

    At least now we know the hidden part of the underpants gnome plans. Cut congressional spending.

    They’re beyond spoofing.

  47. 47.

    Zifnab

    Wait, so it doesn’t really get bad until 2028? Isn’t this a year before John Conner’s resistance army breaks the Skynet Terminator army? It explains so much!

  48. 48.

    passerby

    @Kirk Spencer:

    c) Cut Congressional spending waste to make expenditures match revenues.
    What, you don’t believe c? Go read the plan – the only expenditure cuts for 2010 are in "the reconciliation process" and "Budget Process Reform."

    First of all, thanks for actually reading the plan. Item c) seems to be the Magik Beans clause.

    BTW, does their military spending include veterans’ benefits or just M.I.C. spending?

  49. 49.

    TenguPhule

    One can only wonder what these dipsshits would manage to do in the real world. Can you picture them pitching a pile like this to a Board of Directors? Comedy Gold!

    AIG.

  50. 50.

    passerby

    @Zifnab:

    Isn’t this a year before John Conner’s resistance army breaks the Skynet Terminator army? It explains so much!

    Who knew Skynet would become self-aware before the Republican Party.

  52. 52.

    gwangung

    Who knew Skynet would become self-aware before the Republican Party.

    Dude, they’ve demonstrated FAR more intelligence…

  53. 53.

    Comrade Dread

    I’ve seen how the private sector and the government have run their affairs over the past decade, and frankly I’ll take the government.

    Huh, really?

    Judging by just the last decade, I’d say let it all burn and revert back into a loose confederacy. Or fifty independent nation states.

  56. 56.

    passerby

    OT: Techies, do I have to shut my whole computer down to switch monitors? or can I just close all programs?

  57. 57.

    NonyNony

    @Comrade Dread:

    Judging by just the last decade, I’d say let it all burn and revert back into a loose confederacy. Or fifty independent nation states.

    You really want to see what kind of resource wars some of these states would be getting into if there wasn’t a Federal government involved?

    Let’s just say – most of the West and the South would be at each other’s throats for a variety of reasons (starting with water and moving down the list). And the landlocked countries in the middle probably wouldn’t be too happy either. And the east coast is already mad about the pollution that states like Ohio send its way.

    If we didn’t have a civilized way of siccing lawyers on each other, this entire country would be a giant warzone.

  58. 58.

    HyperIon

    uh, so how was the graph generated? no linky.
    why no discussion of that?
    am i missing something?
    are we mocking extrapolation?
    please help me out here.
    how can i join in if i don’t get the punchline?

  59. 59.

    Xanthippas

    This is just embarrassing. It’s like watching a Pauly Shore movie.

    Well, that’s actually more embarrassing for the person who has to admit to watching a Pauly Shore movie. I’m pretty sure Pauly Shore has no shame.

  60. 60.

    Brachiator

    This is just embarrassing. It’s like watching a Pauly Shore movie.

    No weezing the GOP Nugs, Bud–dy!

    They forgot to adjust for the Eugenics Wars in 2280 and the decrease in GDP that occurred when a meteor hit the Atlantic Ocean in the year 2525. And robots. The GOP always forgets robots.

    They really expect anyone to take this stuff seriously?

  61. 61.

    Tonal Crow

    @passerby: You don’t need to shutdown, or even close apps. Just set your video card’s resolution to the lowest setting (in XP use settings/control panel/display/settings/screen resolution slider), unplug the old monitor, plug in the new one, and set the resolution back to something usable (and supported by your new monitor).

    If, on the other hand, you’re changing video cards, then you certainly need to shutdown the system first.

  62. 62.

    passerby

    @Tonal Crow:

    Thanks for the pointers. I’m wading thru 6 different languages trying to figure this out and the only thing I can understand from the Product Information Guide is that I’m not allowed to export this monitor.

    I don’t know anything about video cards. I’m switching from a CRT to an LCD. Does that mean anything WRT vid cards? It came with a Device Drivers Disc.

  63. 63.

    Tonal Crow

    @passerby: Does your LCD use the same kind of connector (15 pin trapezoidal connector) as the CRT? If so, just connect it to the same port as the CRT. If it uses a different connector, you might need to adjust your video card setup, assuming your video card provides a matching connector.

  64. 64.

    Kirk Spencer

    @passerby:

    BTW, does their military spending include veterans’ benefits or just M.I.C. spending?

    It includes veterans benefits. It also includes a $50 billion set-aside for emergency expenditures, above and beyond giving DOD everything it requested. Oh, yeah, I didn’t mention that. 100% of the DoD fiscal request, MIC and VA, plus $50B.

  65. 65.

    passerby

    @Tonal Crow:

    Yes, I currently have the kind you described.

    (But the monitor also came with a DVI white cable–check that–nevermind, my computer lacks a port to accommodate it.)

    So thank you very much Tonal Crow. Here goes…

  66. 66.

    Zifnab

    @Kirk Spencer:

    Oh, yeah, I didn’t mention that. 100% of the DoD fiscal request, MIC and VA, plus $50B.

    And if there’s one thing we’ve learned in the last eight years, it’s that military funding never runs out! We’ll be pulling a North Korea by the end of the next decade. 80% military employment, baby.

  68. 68.

    BDeevDad

    I cannot believe the WSJ actually gave them editorial space to discuss this, including the graph. They really are owned by Rupert Murdoch.

  70. 70.

    mellowjohn

    the GOP scoring appears to have us on track for the government owning about 90% of the economy in the early-mid-22nd century, which if I remember is about the time period of the invention of the warp drive.

    efraim cochrane will make the first warp flight on april 5, 2063. (geeky enough for everyone?)

  71. 71.

    Tonal Crow

    @BDeevDad: I cannot believe that you cannot believe that. The WSJ editorial page was infamous long before Murdoch breached the gates.

  73. 73.

    gex

    Why didn’t they account for the Rapture? I’m pretty sure that there should be a pretty visible change in both lines as the entire God-fearing, "normal" Republican-Americans are ascended into Heaven where they are forever relieved of their tax burden as promised by God’s Gospels.

  75. 75.

    Tonal Crow

    @BDeevDad: Teh Stupid burns something fierce. I think I just saw Eric Cantor rushing by my house, screaming something about Preparation H.

  77. 77.

    Brachiator

    @Delia:

    I hear there’s a Three Stooges movie coming up. Sean Penn’s going to be in it. Maybe that will help.

    semi OT– Of course, Penn is such a great actor that he just might win an Oscar for playing one of the Stooges.

    And for fun, they could add a new Stooge. So it would be Larry, Curley, Moe and GOP Joe.

  78. 78.

    Mike in NC

    BTW, does their military spending include veterans’ benefits or just M.I.C. spending?

    Under the GOP, the entire VA bureaucracy will be abolished and the vets will be left to find church basements and highway underpasses for shelter. Nobody forced them to join up, after all. More $$$ for the Beltway Bandits and their Congressional flunkies.

    Why didn’t they account for the Rapture?

    Bingo!

  79. 79.

    Tax Analyst

    "In The Year 2525"

    Ooh…Zager & Evans – big hit song way back in the 1960’s – when we made our own amusements and could eat a real food meal.

  80. 80.

    Anne Elk (Miss)

    efraim cochrane will make the first warp flight on april 5, 2063. (geeky enough for everyone?)

    Sorry, but that’s Zefram Cochrane.

    not quite geeky enough!

  81. 81.

    MattM

    I like the implication that the Dem budget will bring about the end of the world. Why else doesn’t the red line go as far forward in time as the green line?

  83. 83.

    Tattoosydney

    @MattM:

    I like the implication that the Dem budget will bring about the end of the world. Why else doesn’t the red line go as far forward in time as the green line?

    Because that’s when it goes quantum, man.

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