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You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / Man on dog on staff member

Man on dog on staff member

by DougJ|  July 10, 20095:34 am| 50 Comments

This post is in: Republican Stupidity

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All you Rick Santorum fans will be happy to hear this:

Doug Hampton, husband of Cindy Hampton, Sen. John Ensign’s (R-Nev.) mistress, claims that former GOP Sen. Rick Santorum (Pa.) may have tipped off his ex-colleague that the Hamptons were going public with the story over the adulterous relationship.

In an interview with Jon Ralston, a Las Vegas Sun columnist, Doug Hampton suggested that Santorum told Ensign that the Hamptons were going to reveal the affair and then Ensign held his own Las Vegas press conference in a bid to control the political damage from the revelation.

“One of the correspondents that is part of Fox News is Rick Santorum,” Hampton told Ralston in an interview. “I sent a note to Rick. I begged Rick to call me, to talk to me before, and he didn’t. Obviously, in my opinion, I could be wrong, but that would be what I supposed happen. And if I’m wrong, Rick, forgive, but it appears to me how it happened.”

And while we’re on the this topic, who plays Ensign in the made-for-tv movie “My Mistress, My Staff Member: The John Ensign Story”? John O’Hurley?

Or John Slattery?

(Here’s Ensign himself:

)

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Reader Interactions

50Comments

  1. 1.

    Spiffy McBang

    July 10, 2009 at 6:04 am

    Ensign, Ensign. Not Enseign.

    I vote John O’Hurley. Looks more capable of playing a pure douche.

  2. 2.

    DougJ

    July 10, 2009 at 6:18 am

    Ensign, Ensign. Not Enseign.

    Thanks. I corrected it.

  3. 3.

    harlana pepper

    July 10, 2009 at 6:20 am

    I can’t imagine having Rick Santorum as a confidante. That’s pretty twisted, but so is this story, more and more each day.

  4. 4.

    harlana pepper

    July 10, 2009 at 6:23 am

    Oh, and I vote O’Hurley. He’d be sleaze perfection, which is what is called for here. What a sick, twisted, fucked-up bunch, jeebuss!

  5. 5.

    Xenos

    July 10, 2009 at 6:43 am

    Oh great – let’s have a journalism ethics panel!

    These ‘Family’ based politicians are turning out to be a systematically unethical pack of lying hacks with the public morals of a 14th century baron who wants to claim droit de seigneur yet has to build a church every time he gets caught fooling around…

  6. 6.

    bob h

    July 10, 2009 at 6:46 am

    You wonder about the tax implications of a payoff such as this. Did his parents follow the IRS rules about gift/estate taxes? That would really be comical. I suspect there is another story here.

  7. 7.

    Roza

    July 10, 2009 at 6:47 am

    I think either would work, a little eye brow work on Slattery
    but both can do scumbag.

  8. 8.

    mai naem

    July 10, 2009 at 6:49 am

    I think he looks like a James Brolin but I don’t know if James Brolin would look too old now. Maybe Josh Brolin but Ensign’s more angular like James Brolin

  9. 9.

    Remfin

    July 10, 2009 at 6:50 am

    James Brolin. I seem to remember him having a higher forehead in The West Wing though…

  10. 10.

    kid bitzer

    July 10, 2009 at 6:50 am

    @4

    what a sick, twisted, fucked-up neck-tie, you mean.

    adultery, bribery, tax-evasion, and lying are all forgivable sins, if circumstances extenuate.

    hey, we all make mistakes sometimes, and then force our parents to shell out 100k to cover them up. who hasn’t done that?

    but that tie? unforgivable.

  11. 11.

    harlana pepper

    July 10, 2009 at 6:57 am

    @kid bitzer: Mebbe if he gets up in front of a bunch of people, cries and asks God’s forgiveness, things will be once again peachy with the base, anyway, regardless of the legal consequences.

  12. 12.

    Adam

    July 10, 2009 at 7:00 am

    I vote for O’Hurley. I’d love to see what Ensign would look like in an urban sombrero.

  13. 13.

    harlana pepper

    July 10, 2009 at 7:00 am

    so repubes can no longer claim they are morally superior, nor are they fiscally responsible – what’s left?

  14. 14.

    clone12

    July 10, 2009 at 7:11 am

    I vote Anderson Cooper, just for the hell of it

  15. 15.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    July 10, 2009 at 7:17 am

    Is Santorum a member of The Family?

  16. 16.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    July 10, 2009 at 7:18 am

    That’s it! It wasn’t rEnsign doing all of those nasty things, it was his evil, Hollywood lieberul separated at birth twin brother! Ensign is just trying to protect him.

    It just occurred to me that it wasn’t long a go certain fRighties were wanking off over Ensign’s good looks and suggesting he’d be the best new face of the party and a great foil to counter the Obamanation. Bwahaha.

  17. 17.

    Michael

    July 10, 2009 at 7:20 am

    Its not about the avoidance of “sin”. With the C Street crowd, position and power are entitlements. The trick is in how to do the spin control once your deity throws you an opportunity for fun as a test and door opener. There are ways to make your dick happy and increase your stature, all while maintaining your office if you can spew the right sayings to the deity.

    Shortest Ensign:

    Hey, I used you like a blowup doll, and kept banging at you even with my wife and kids in the same house. Had she walked in on us, I’d have sent her lazy ass into the kitchen to bring us some beers, so I’m a thoughtful guy. God’s going to forgive me and give me some more goodies because I’m making the right concerned sounds, so get the fuck over yourselves, tell your pussy husband to quit whining, and shut the hell up since we paid you. Got it?

  18. 18.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    July 10, 2009 at 7:30 am

    My vote is none of the above. Were I casting this film the part would have to go to John Laroquette who is good at playing the quintessential self-absorbed prick. Go watch some old episodes of Night Court and tell me I’m wrong.

  19. 19.

    Nylund

    July 10, 2009 at 7:31 am

    What still boggles my mind is that this guy was sending notes to Fox News expecting Fox to HELP him reveal a scandal that’d humiliate a Republican. How utterly naive.

  20. 20.

    Xenos

    July 10, 2009 at 7:37 am

    @Notorious P.A.T.: I read that somewhere, but I can’t find a list of ‘Family ‘ members that is online. Time to get down to the library and check out Sharlet’s book.

  21. 21.

    scarpy

    July 10, 2009 at 7:45 am

    O’Hurley, hands down. I understand folks on Capitol Hill already refer to Ensign as “J. Peterman.”

  22. 22.

    bago

    July 10, 2009 at 7:47 am

    @Nylund: Yeah. The trail goes from cuckolded grifter to media whores, to loser morality scold, to the banging bastard. Nice moral people, the whole lot of them.

  23. 23.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    July 10, 2009 at 7:48 am

    @The Grand Panjandrum:

    Oooh, good call.

  24. 24.

    kay

    July 10, 2009 at 7:53 am

    @Xenos:

    I’m trying to imagine the following: a group of liberal Senators and House members live in a house founded by a lefty religious crank, and follow the tenets and dogma of that religious crank, including “counseling” on policy positions and votes in Congress.

    How do you think news of something like that would be received?

    If it was a lefty religious group? A radical left quasi-religion?

    How many Republican Senators and House members belong to this cult, and how much influence does it exert over their votes?

  25. 25.

    cleek

    July 10, 2009 at 7:56 am

    looks to me like Joe Isuzu and Steve Martin

  26. 26.

    The Saff

    July 10, 2009 at 8:04 am

    John Slattery, no doubt. Of course, I’m biased because he’s so fabulous on “Mad Men.”

    Ensign is as scummy as Roger Sterling.

  27. 27.

    kay

    July 10, 2009 at 8:06 am

    Coburn says both Sanford and Ensign have families and the media are destroying their families.
    Children are such an incredibly powerful tool for these creeps.
    They can trot them out and arrange them behind the candidate and use them as a sword when the candidate is on the way up, and then hunker down behind them and use them as a shield to avoid both criminal and political scrutiny on the way down.

  28. 28.

    Violet

    July 10, 2009 at 8:07 am

    Hey! I called the J. Peterman resemblance a few threads down. I love John O’Hurley and always thought he did a fantastic, self-aborbed J. Peterman. But I think the John Larroquette suggestion is brilliant. I think he could pull off the touch of evil very nicely. John O’Hurley is such a nice guy, it might interfere.

    Either way, whoever plays the role is going to have to go for the spray tan.

  29. 29.

    Kathy

    July 10, 2009 at 8:12 am

    I’m pretty sure it was one of the comments at this blog so I am not claiming credit for this observation, but, someone had mentioned that Ensign is a vet. Will Ensign claim Doctor confidentiality because he was advising Santorum on a “man on dog” relationship?

  30. 30.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    July 10, 2009 at 8:25 am

    @Kathy:
    LOL.

    And yes, if they make a movie about this guy we should all buy stock in a spray tan company.

  31. 31.

    Fwiffo

    July 10, 2009 at 8:45 am

    John O’Hurley and John Ensign totally belong on totallylookslike.com

  32. 32.

    Joel

    July 10, 2009 at 8:45 am

    Slattery’s character on Mad Men seems to nail Ensign much better, even though O’Hurley bears greater physical resemblance. I’d go with the superior actor in Slattery.

  33. 33.

    Fulcanelli

    July 10, 2009 at 8:46 am

    Heh, Heh. He said like, “staff member”. Heh, Heh. Staff member. While talking about a GOP politician. More code words? Dog whistle stuff? Heh, Heh. They do seem to be keeping their “staff members” pretty busy these days, the GOP does. Maybe the right wing should start holding “purity balls” for their elected officials.

  34. 34.

    ccham44

    July 10, 2009 at 9:28 am

    Clearly it should be James Brolin, who played Governor Ritchie in the West Wing.

    He already has experience playing a dim-witted Republican.

  35. 35.

    Da Bomb

    July 10, 2009 at 9:33 am

    My vote is for John O’Hurley.

  36. 36.

    Jon H

    July 10, 2009 at 10:22 am

    My vote is John Laroquette playing Dan Fielding playing John Ensign.

    That’d get the right tone of lechery.

    Although… in that picture of Ensign, there’s something about the mouth that makes him resemble Night Court’s Richard Moll.

  37. 37.

    Graeme

    July 10, 2009 at 10:43 am

    Why did you line up a couple of Johns?

    It’s not the David Vitter story!

  38. 38.

    ChrisB

    July 10, 2009 at 10:50 am

    Laroquette is an inspired choice but I have to go with O’Hurley, if only because of his Family Feud experience.

    Or perhaps we could get the Ensign and Sanford families on Family Feud:

    “We polled 100 members of our studio audience on the following question: ‘What is the best way for an elected official to disquise a meeting with his mistress?'”

    “Go hiking on the Appalachian Trail!”

    “Show me Appalachian Trail . . . It’s the number one answer!”

    “OK, now for double points, our next question is: “What is the best way for an elected official to cover up his affair with his mistress?'”

    “Have your parents give $96,000 to the mistress and her family!”

    “Show me Parents’ Concern for Mistress’s Family . . . .”

  39. 39.

    Amanda

    July 10, 2009 at 10:58 am

    John Slattery. By a mile. Love that guy. And anyone who’s seen him in Mad Men and any number of other roles knows he is perfectly capable of playing a hypocritical douche :-)

  40. 40.

    Socraticsilence

    July 10, 2009 at 11:02 am

    See, I think it depends how the movie is- do we want comedy with Ensign as kind of a charming Rouge- O’hurley, or do we want a drama with total bastard (who has issues)- Slattery.

  41. 41.

    Chuck

    July 10, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    It must be something about the name “John”

  42. 42.

    eric k

    July 10, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    I already said it in the other thread:

    James Brolin as Gov Ritchey, he even had the same folksy, dumb speaking style

  43. 43.

    QrazyQat

    July 10, 2009 at 1:05 pm

    I was going to say James Brolin, but I see I’ve been beaten to it, and it would’ve had to have been about 10 years ago for Brolin, I think.

  44. 44.

    Mike P

    July 10, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    J.Peterman to play Ensign. Game over.

  45. 45.

    asiangrrlMN

    July 10, 2009 at 3:14 pm

    I go with Dan Laroquette. I think he’d nail the part easily (insert own raucous joke here).

    Sharlet was on Rachel last night, as was mentioned in earlier threads. The most chilling part of what he said was when the leader of the Family asked a member, “What do you think I’d think of you if you told me you raped three girls?” Sharlet said, “The member said, because he’s a human being, ‘That I’m a monster.’ ” The leader: “No. I would say that you are above the law because you are one of the chosen.”

    I’m paraphrasing, of course, but it really chilled me. I thought, “That’s what psychopaths think when they commit crimes.” In addition, King David is a favorite example not because he was a good man, but because he was a bad one.

  46. 46.

    Ella in NM

    July 10, 2009 at 3:21 pm

    No, Slattery comes off as too intelligent, too darkly sophisticated. And Brolin is still too much of a “good guy”.

    I’d vote for a comedian like O’Hurley or Larroquette because only THEY have the requisite practice portraying ABSURD CLOWNS, as this part demands.

  47. 47.

    spavis

    July 10, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    Alex Rocco. The dad from The Wedding Planner, among other things. He’s got the look.

    But I think John Laroquette could do the role justice.

  48. 48.

    Anne Laurie

    July 10, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    Is Santorum a member of The Family?

    I thought Santorum was an Opus Dei Catholic. Which doesn’t mean he wouldn’t collude with his fellow Rethugs to protect The Holy Party — but letting him sit in on ‘Fellowship’ meetings would be like a Sears executive sitting in on a Walmart board meeting.

  49. 49.

    Phoebe

    July 10, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    Greg Kinnear. It’s easy to make the hair white.

  50. 50.

    Jon H

    July 10, 2009 at 9:21 pm

    Somebody should Photoshop that picture of Ensign to make it look like he’s hosting a game show, with prize signs in the background labeled $96,000.

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