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You are here: Home / Politics / Media / Apparently They’re Serious

Apparently They’re Serious

by John Cole|  July 29, 20092:01 pm| 80 Comments

This post is in: Media

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Newsweek:

asenvoyamithedeciderwhenitcomestobombing

Apparently there is nothing that ever gets you permanently banished from the corridors of power in DC.

Except for telling the truth.

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80Comments

  1. 1.

    Joey Maloney a/k/a The Bard Of Balloon Juice

    July 29, 2009 at 2:05 pm

    Why Obama should make George W. Bush his Mideast envoy

    So the stupid m.f. will get his stupid ass blown up?

  2. 2.

    Ben

    July 29, 2009 at 2:08 pm

    Because he’s almost universally despised there and has absolutely no credibility?

  3. 3.

    Trinity

    July 29, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    Speechless…

  4. 4.

    flukebucket

    July 29, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    Why Obama should make George W. Bush his Mideast envoy

    Because it is hard to hit him with a shoe.

  5. 5.

    KG

    July 29, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    For every one reason you give that Obama should make GW Bush his Mideast envoy, I can give you ten reason why he shouldn’t. But I don’t think you can even give me one.

  6. 6.

    handy

    July 29, 2009 at 2:11 pm

    Serious journalism is being serious.

  7. 7.

    John

    July 29, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    Well, that would definitely destroy the Obama administration, so I see why they’re in favor of it …

  8. 8.

    vacuumslayer

    July 29, 2009 at 2:13 pm

    @flukebucket: OK, I have a hard time seeing this comment being topped today. *laughing*

  9. 9.

    vacuumslayer

    July 29, 2009 at 2:13 pm

    This is making me rethink my subbie.

  10. 10.

    ET

    July 29, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    Yet more evidence that many on the right lives on the other side of rabbit hole…..

  11. 11.

    wilfred

    July 29, 2009 at 2:16 pm

    This is part of the Israeli pushback against Obama, the shvartzer Muslim who is not prepared to kiss their collective asses. Bush was the best President Israel ever had – the entire article is more of the usual agitprop they never cease to get published. The Israelis are ‘concerned’ that Obama dared to insinuate that Palestinians might actually be humans, something that Bush could never be accused of.

  12. 12.

    JGabriel

    July 29, 2009 at 2:16 pm

    Why Obama should make George W. Bush his Mideast envoy:

    Because I honestly can’t think of anyone better to visit each and every village of Iraq and make amends on behalf of America.

    Unarmed. With no security.

    We don’t want them to mistake our intentions, after all.

    .

  13. 13.

    Tom65

    July 29, 2009 at 2:17 pm

    Yeah, sure, why not? What could possibly go wrong?

    *swallows drain cleaner*

  14. 14.

    Warren Terra

    July 29, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    I was all set to complain that you credited this deranged notion to “Newsweek” rather than to its author, but upon clicking through I see that the author is one “Gregory Levey”.

    I’ve never heard of Levey that I can recall. Wikipedia informs me that he was a speechwriter for Ariel Sharon and Ehud Olmert and that he writes for mostly neoconservative outlets (Conrad Black’s National Post, Even The Liberal New Republic, Murdoch’s The New York Post). In other words, he’s a bit of a nonentity, and Newsweek published this piece of his because they think it’s an interesting notion worth propagating.

    So, while Levey may not be on the Newsweek masthead, they appear to have gone out of their way to find and to publish this absurd article by Levey – I’d say it’s pretty fair to tar them with it.

  15. 15.

    ADM

    July 29, 2009 at 2:19 pm

    that’s a weird picture. Obama almost looks like a spiritual adviser – praying, revering, and advising (from a healthy step behind!) all at the same time.

  16. 16.

    Nethead Jay

    July 29, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    Whaaaaaaaaa… Ok, whatever they’re smokin’ over there at Newsweek, I want some of it.

  17. 17.

    Keith

    July 29, 2009 at 2:21 pm

    Levey evidently believes that the Middle East consists solely of Israel.

  18. 18.

    Cyrus

    July 29, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    … wow. I guess, just playing Devil’s advocate as a mental challenge to myself, there’s a certain “he broke it, let him clean it up” appeal to the idea, but that’s all I can come up with. Bush wouldn’t want any job at all for Obama, especially not one where the entire assignment amounts to “convey nuance.” He’d suck at it, both in general because he screws up everything he touches and in particular because he doesn’t do nuance. Israelis like him, but insufficient Israeli affection for Americans is not our current problem. He couldn’t offer any credible deals or anything, since everyone repudiates him.

    Clearly the author knows there’s no “there” here, judging by all the weaseling and hedging. “Indulge me for a moment.” “Israel was the only country where the population’s confidence in Obama’s foreign-policy judgment was lower now than it was in Bush’s judgment at the end of his presidency. (It was only 1 percent lower, but…” “Of course, this is all just a fantasy.” “But, as odd as it sounds…” There’s more equivocation in that article than I use when it comes time to explain my “World of Warcraft” habit on a first date.

    But, we clicked on the link, and I guess that’s the limit of Newsweek’s business plan.

  19. 19.

    D-Chance.

    July 29, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    It’s always fun when they eat their own… Little Ezzie, indeed.

  20. 20.

    Punchy

    July 29, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    Newsweek seems concerned.

  21. 21.

    Bootlegger

    July 29, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    @JGabriel: This is the winner. If he can roam the Iraqi countryside for a year living on the good will of Arabs, Persians and Kurds, Shi’a and Sunni, and come out the other side then he can claim Victory in Iraq. It’s the perfect gambit.

  22. 22.

    Tom65

    July 29, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    Shorter Levey: Obama is too interested in real progress. Send in Bush!

  23. 23.

    donovong

    July 29, 2009 at 2:24 pm

    I agree that Obama should send Bush to the Middle East.

    Georgie can be assigned to clearing unmarked roadside IED’s in Afghanistan next year, instead of my goddam brother-in-law. Fucking asshole.

  24. 24.

    Comrade Jake

    July 29, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    I think it would be more sensible to simply nuke Iran.

  25. 25.

    Tom65

    July 29, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    Bush ain’t Nixon, and Israel isn’t China

  26. 26.

    Hunter Gathers

    July 29, 2009 at 2:27 pm

    Shorter Newsweek : Israel is concerned Obama treats Palistinians as humans. Wants Dubya back to put the unclean muslims back in their place.

  27. 27.

    Origuy

    July 29, 2009 at 2:31 pm

    I missed the news that Newsweek was bought out by The Onion. When did that happen?

  28. 28.

    Calouste

    July 29, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    The only reason I can see to make Bush an envoy to the Middle East is to hope that he gets delayed during a change of planes in say Madrid, Paris, Frankfurt or Brussels and gets his ass arrested.

  29. 29.

    Tiparillo

    July 29, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    Wait, wait…is it April 1st?

  30. 30.

    cleek

    July 29, 2009 at 2:34 pm

    *Moe begins to shove the crayon back up Homer’s nose.*

    Homer: DEFENSE! DEFENSE!

    Moe: Well that’s kinda dumb.

    *Shoves the crayon further*

    Homer: WooHoo! NASCAR!!

    Moe: OK, getting dumber.

    *Shoves the crayon further still*

    Homer: Extended Warranty?! How could I lose!!

    Moe: Very close!

    *Shoves the crayon as far as it will go*

    Homer: George W Bush for mid-east envoy!!

    Moe: Perfect.

  31. 31.

    jwb

    July 29, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    A one-month ban on following links to Newsweek for flagrant stupidity.

  32. 32.

    The Saff

    July 29, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    Calouste for the win at comment #28.

  33. 33.

    slippytoad

    July 29, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.

  34. 34.

    inkadu

    July 29, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    If they do not throw shoes at George Bush there, they will throw shoes at us here.

  35. 35.

    Jay Andrew Allen

    July 29, 2009 at 2:39 pm

    Next week in Newsweek: why Hitler deserves a posthumous Nobel Peace Prize.

    (Yeah, so I Godwin’ed. Sue me.)

  36. 36.

    PeakVT

    July 29, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    And once he’s appointed, the first thing Bush should do is talk about how he is on a crusade for peace.

  37. 37.

    Tony J

    July 29, 2009 at 2:42 pm

    I’ve read some really stupid things today, but this is far and away the most ridiculous excuse yet for an opinion to make it past the Internet Goblins.

    And Newsweek actively chose to give this asshole space in their publication? Is it supposed to be satire?

    WTF?

  38. 38.

    Tony J

    July 29, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    Then again. Who is currently earning a big old wage representing the Quartet of (I believe) the US, the UN, the EU, and Russia as their ‘Peace Envoy’ in the Middle East?

    Tony fucking Blair.

    Yeah, exactly.

  39. 39.

    Thomas Levenson

    July 29, 2009 at 2:50 pm

    Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!

    I’ve got generations of Zionist credentials behind me (that windmill in Jerusalem– my ancestor and so on) and I’m here to say that the last thing Israel needs is someone who will nod and wink Israelis into complacency against the need for a real peace deal and an end to the settlement policy that cannot be sustained within any long-term view of the Israeli polity. The good news about Obama in this area is that he does exactly what this op-ed writer says: scare the sh*t out of the governing elites at the prospect that the American establishment does not provide an unquestioning backdrop to any move, no matter how much it is desired by Israel’s whacko rump right.

  40. 40.

    JR

    July 29, 2009 at 2:50 pm

    You know what gets you permanently banned from the halls of power? The impeachment process.

    Any office of trust or profit under the United States should be off-limits to Bush, Cheney, Rove, Libby, Addington, Yoo, Bybee, etc. The Constitution provides for that via impeachment. And it’s historically established (the Belknap impeachment) that you don’t have to be in office to face an accounting over what you did while you were.

    Seriously, if you want to make sure this zombie doesn’t rise again, start supporting impeachment for Bush Administration officials.

  41. 41.

    Ash Can

    July 29, 2009 at 2:50 pm

    @Keith:

    Levey evidently believes that the Middle East consists solely of Israel.

    This was my thought exactly, once I clicked through the damned link to make absolutely sure that this wasn’t something the Obama Administration was actually considering doing, which wasn’t clear from the wording of the post. Jesus Christ, John. Don’t do that to me. I still have to pick up my son from day camp and do grocery shopping. It’s way too early for me to start pounding martinis.

  42. 42.

    Morbo

    July 29, 2009 at 2:50 pm

    @Hunter Gathers: Another way of saying that is that the only number that matters on this question in Pew’s opinion survey is that -1% for Israel. By all means though, let’s go back to that 2% confidence in Turkey that we’ll do the right thing.

  43. 43.

    Zifnab

    July 29, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    @Tony J: At least he speaks English.

  44. 44.

    RobNYNY1957

    July 29, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    “Neither Obama nor his proxies enjoy anywhere near the same level of faith. In a recent Pew Research survey of global attitudes, Israel was the only country where the population’s confidence in Obama’s foreign-policy judgment was lower now than it was in Bush’s judgment at the end of his presidency. (It was only 1 percent lower, but the rise in confidence elsewhere ranged from 6 percent in Pakistan to 79 percent in Germany, with most countries toward the upper half of that spectrum.) ”

    There’s got to be something wrong with the first sentence in this paragraph. Shouldn’t it say that faith in Obama’s foreign policy is considerably higher in every country, except Israel, where it is virtually unchanged?

  45. 45.

    Zifnab

    July 29, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    @Morbo: See, and that’s the thing. That poll says more about Israel than it does about Obama by leaps and fucking bounds. If Israel is more confident in Bush than in Obama, it’s full of a bunch of slack jawed ‘tards and probably doesn’t deserve our support anymore anyway.

  46. 46.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    July 29, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    Just how much brush do they have that needs clearing in the middle east?

  47. 47.

    LD50

    July 29, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    If they’re mean that he should go to Iraq and clear mines, I’m cool with that.

  48. 48.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    July 29, 2009 at 3:07 pm

    According to Glenn Greenwald the author of this piece is a former speechwriter for the Israeli government which was not disclosed by Newsweek. I can’t imagine why THAT would make any difference in a readers perception of this article.

  49. 49.

    inkadu

    July 29, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    Why are my comments in moderation? Sometimes they are, sometimes they ain’t. I ain’t even cussed or nothin’.

  50. 50.

    R-Jud

    July 29, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    Just how much brush do they have that needs clearing in the middle east?

    I wuv you.

  51. 51.

    Seebach

    July 29, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    I call contrarianism and “aren’t we clever?”ism. No way this is serious.

  52. 52.

    JosieJ

    July 29, 2009 at 3:18 pm

    Oh, I get it: this is Newsweek’s bid to revitalize the international footwear industry.

  53. 53.

    jwb

    July 29, 2009 at 3:22 pm

    The Grand Panjandrum

    According to Glenn Greenwald the author of this piece is a former speechwriter for the Israeli government which was not disclosed by Newsweek.

    Brilliant! I’m tacking on an extra two weeks of not following links to Newsweek for failing to disclose relevant interests of the author.

  54. 54.

    General Winfield Stuck

    July 29, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    Yes, make George a Community Organizer is Sadr City. Summer job, at best.

  55. 55.

    Martin

    July 29, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    There’s got to be something wrong with the first sentence in this paragraph. Shouldn’t it say that faith in Obama’s foreign policy is considerably higher in every country, except Israel, where it is virtually unchanged?

    Look, cheerleading is hard, okay. When a pile of statistics lands in your lap, not one of which supports the conclusion you had already drawn, it takes a lot of wordsmithing to prove your case.

  56. 56.

    ellaesther

    July 29, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    Oh.my.God.NO!

    This Israeli-American Mideast geek says:

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    The very thought will give me nightmares. The way he treated the Palestinian people, the way he allowed the Israeli government to treat the American government, the lies, the fucking endless bold-faced LIES…!

    Oh my God. No. Just – no.

  57. 57.

    SpotWeld

    July 29, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    Um… on a few levels this makes sense.

    1) Bush actually does have fairly extensive contacts with the Saudis and throughout the oil industry. So yeah, he’d probably be a good man in the middle as far as that goes.

    2) He’s going to be shooting his mouth off on what we “should” be doing out there, so putting him in the middle of it keeps the focus on the fact that it was his polcies that made a lot of the mess. (I don’t know how much authority he’d have as an “envoy”, but it does seems to be on the same level of “duh” as Bolton as UN rep.)

  58. 58.

    ellaesther

    July 29, 2009 at 3:38 pm

    I have to add: I am actually loving the new Newsweek, and subscribe, happily (because, apparently, I am an Old) to the dead tree version.

    BUT OH MY GOD! Not telling us, per Glenn Greenwald/per The Grand Panjandrum that the writer used to write speeches for the Israeli government. What the fuck is that??

    I’m a bit exercised.

  59. 59.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    July 29, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    Does anyone seriously think Cheney would let Danger Monkey work for anyone else?

  60. 60.

    Richard S

    July 29, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    I know, I know – Bush could torture the Palistinians until they agree to accept that apartheid is better that slavery.

  61. 61.

    Ash Can

    July 29, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    @SpotWeld: It doesn’t matter. He’s not bright enough to use those contacts well, and it does the Obama Administration no good whatsoever to even give the appearance of sanctioning someone who made such a god damned mess. Seriously, unless as others have suggested, he’s sent over there to sweep for IEDs or to go door-to-door in Iraq begging for forgiveness, this idea has no redeeming value whatsoever.

  62. 62.

    wilfred

    July 29, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    What the fuck is that??

    It’s how things are always done. Obama has good intentions here but he will be submarined, sabotaged and ultimately weakened by the exaggerated influence of the Israeli lobby and their imaginary contacts in the news media.

  63. 63.

    Ruckus

    July 29, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    @Ash Can:
    Of course disarming IEDs would be the only redeeming thing because it would be the only useful thing he has ever done in his life. Even if he fails at this like everything else.
    BTW if there were any level of truth to this ideaBS why would you waste time making martinis? Pounding mad dog 2020 would be cheaper and much faster. And more appropriate.

  64. 64.

    Scruffy McSnufflepuss

    July 29, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    Maybe Obama should make Dick Cheney his Vice President, too!

  65. 65.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    July 29, 2009 at 4:13 pm

    @Just Some Fuckhead: That was EXACTLY my first thought when I read the post. How scary is that? (Me thinking like you, not Bush going to the mid-east – though that is scary in its own right).

  66. 66.

    JackieBinAZ

    July 29, 2009 at 4:15 pm

    @Nethead Jay: if you’re going to alter your reality, don’t you want it to be an improvement?

  67. 67.

    Evinfuilt

    July 29, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    But if he goes to the Middle East that means he can’t be our new Envoy to the moon. I thought he would be honored to be a test pilot on one of our new rockets, what could go wrong?

  68. 68.

    Anne Laurie

    July 29, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    So, while Levey may not be on the Newsweek masthead, they appear to have gone out of their way to find and to publish this absurd article by Levey – I’d say it’s pretty fair to tar them with it.

    But when the pushback starts (as it has), the Newsweakers look all surprised and whine, “Hey, it’s not our idea, we just believe all sides of the argument deserve to be aired… ”

    The Silly Season, it is upon us.

  69. 69.

    CalD

    July 29, 2009 at 4:51 pm

    Oh,

    my

    God.

  70. 70.

    Tax Analyst

    July 29, 2009 at 4:51 pm

    It’s a parody issue of Newsweek, right?

    No? OK, well then I go with #4 flukebucket’s reason: Bush is hard to hit with a shoe.

    After that I go with the “brush-clearing” suggestion.

  71. 71.

    Tsulagi

    July 29, 2009 at 5:05 pm

    Why Obama should make George W. Bush his Mideast envoy.

    There is no alternate universe in which that would make sense.

  72. 72.

    Demo Woman

    July 29, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    @The Grand Panjandrum: Wow just Wow!
    The author of the article just made Mark Halperin seem bright.

  73. 73.

    Tom65

    July 29, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    Can’t we just put him in charge of FEMA?

  74. 74.

    Bob

    July 29, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    What’s next? The Birthers are Time Magazines People of the Year?

  75. 75.

    DaBomb

    July 29, 2009 at 6:18 pm

    How about Sgt. Crowley on the cover of Essence Magazine? That should make for interesting fodder.

  76. 76.

    David Hunt

    July 29, 2009 at 6:45 pm

    Post to acquire cookie

  77. 77.

    sparky

    July 29, 2009 at 6:54 pm

    this is just a propaganda offensive. the nyt had something similar a few days ago. with all due respect (and i like snark as much as the next person), the GWB thing is a red herring. the real point of this is to plant the notion that Obama has lost the trust of Israel. that’s the control device they want inserted into the public domain so as to constrain the administration. in other words, where you can’t attack directly, attack indirectly. rather clever as a PR strategy, but i think it overestimates the intelligence of the American public. it may, however, show up as a coordinated Sunday talk show point. we shall see.

  78. 78.

    Batocchio

    July 30, 2009 at 4:37 am

    Holy crap. Yeah, that Bush guy is just loved over there. That fucking coup really helped his credibility with the Palestinians, who, y’know, might care about reality more than Bush’s fucking rhetoric.

    They might as well keep going – “I know it sounds contrarian, but Christians should start worshiping Satan.”

  79. 79.

    J. A. Baker

    July 30, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    Apparently They’re Serious™©®

    Fixed your typo.

  80. 80.

    Pavlov's Dog

    July 30, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    “Cookie” comment

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