Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When you’re a Republican, they let you do it.

They are not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

You are either for trump or for democracy. Pick one.

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

The Supreme Court cannot be allowed to become the ultimate, unaccountable arbiter of everything.

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

Republicans got rid of McCarthy. Democrats chose not to save him.

Michigan is a great lesson for Dems everywhere: when you have power…use it!

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

When they say they are pro-life, they do not mean yours.

Let me file that under fuck it.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Humiliatingly small and eclipsed by the derision of millions.

The unpunished coup was a training exercise.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

American history and black history cannot be separated.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

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Reader Interactions

165Comments

  7. 7.

    Boudica

    Hey! I’ve had one by c-section (10 lb 1 oz) and one the “old-fashioned” way. Believe me, old-fashioned is much easier! So, don’t knock those who have to have surgery….

  10. 10.

    debit

    John Houseman: She earned it.

    (I can’t be the only one who remembers those Smith Barney commercials.)

    Congrats, Krista and family!

  11. 11.

    geg6

    Hooray Krista! She is officially my hero. Hope she’s feeling well and Mr. RedKitten isn’t too drained also. Smooches for little RedKitten. Happy day.

  13. 13.

    asiangrrlMN

    Wooot! This is excellent news for John Mc– Krista, Mr. RedKitten, and little RedKitten! You are a trooper, Krista! Welcome to our world, little RedKitten. Congrats! (Can you tell I just finished my twenty-six ounce mug of coffee????????).

  19. 19.

    ironranger

    Congrats to Redkitten.
    No C-section either so she put in several hours of hard work. I don’t know how women do it even tho I’ve done it 3 times myself.

  22. 22.

    Svensker

    Yay Krista! Congrats to all members of the RedKitten family, especially the littlest kitten.

  23. 23.

    John S.

    Congratulations, Krista!

    Baby boys are just the most adorably sweet little things, and tend to be very attached to their Mommies.

  24. 24.

    bystander

    Well done, Red Kitten. Congrats to you, and your family. Welcome future Balloon Juice reader. Best wishes for the young’un’s days ahead.

  37. 37.

    JGabriel

    Congratulations, Krista! I’ve always thought “Admiral” would be a good name for a boy. It just has a sort authoritative air to it.

    Of course, “Judge”, “President”, and “Master” have similar qualities. Just don’t name him “Randy”: it’ll be terribly embarrassing if he ever travels to England.

    .

  39. 39.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    Wishing all of you the best. Can’t wait for pictures so we can all ooo and aaahhh properly. Sorry Tunch, once again, though we all love you to pieces, you’ll be upstaged by a newcomer.

  42. 42.

    jenniebee

    Congrats Krista!

    Be sure to keep the “long form” certificate safe and post birth announcements everywhere. You never know when you might need them.

  44. 44.

    JGabriel

    CapMidnight:

    Has the birth certificate been posted?

    Good point. Krista, make sure you get a copy of the doctor-signed long form birth certificate, and keep it in a vault for posterity’s sake.

    .

  47. 47.

    Comrade Mary

    Yay! Yay! Yay! Awesome work, Krista! And yes, we have to see pictures of the cutie soon. Is he a redhead?

  50. 50.

    Punchy

    Congrats Kris! Whats 7 Canadian pounds 11 Canadian ounces convert into Real American(TM) weights?

  52. 52.

    Joey Maloney a/k/a The Bard Of Balloon Juice

    Congratulations from some random guy on the internet.

    …Has anyone made the “because of the soc1ialist Canadian system it took her NINE MONTHS to get into the hospital” joke yet?

  54. 54.

    Betsy

    Whew!!!!

    MANY congratulations!!!! And a sympathetic “ouch.” And then congratulations again!!

  55. 55.

    Elroy's Lunch

    Tremendous! Can’t wait he gets his pudgy little fingers on the keyboard and contributes comments with something along the lines of REG^fjoh*Bq. Of course, unlike me, he’ll probably get the blockquotes correct.

    Congratulations to you and your family Krista

  58. 58.

    tripletee (formerly tBone)

    @Fwiffo:

    Was she actually in labor for more than a day?

    Haven’t you been listening to the teabaggers? Long waits are just one of the problems with socialistamic healthcare nightmares like Canada’s.

  61. 61.

    Ella in NM

    Congratulations Krista! What an event labor and delivery is–kinda like running a marathon and winning the Grand Prize, eh?

    A friend asked me once how I could have brought four children into the world, given its current state of hopelessness and disarray. She said she thought it was kind of cruel, or at the very least insane. All I could say was that children are one of the FEW things that make life worth it for anyone, even those who don’t have kids. They keep us focused on what we must do to make the place better.

    To quote Max Ehrman’s “Desiderata”:

    “…With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
    it is still a beautiful world.”

    Even more so with a sweet-smelling newborn in your arms.

  62. 62.

    Genine

    Yay, Krista! A year ago, you were concerned about conceiving and now you have a little boy! I am so happy for you. I wish all of you the best! Congratulations. :-)

  63. 63.

    The Saff

    Congrats, Krista and baby RedKitten (dad RedKitten, too). Baby boy RedKitten was born on Earvin “Magic” Johnson’s 50th birthday. Maybe little RedKitten will end up being a star in the NBA.

  66. 66.

    joes527

    I wonder if we could get Juicers in all 50 states to put birth announcements in the local papers. You never know when that might come in handy.

  69. 69.

    The Saff

    For some reason, I feel compelled to sing “O Canada.” I learned it by watching lots of “Hockey Night in Canada.” One of the benefits of living in Michigan is you get Candadian teevee.

  71. 71.

    Bob In Pacifica

    Congratulations!

    Is this the same Krista from Canada who said she could see the moon from her house but that that didn’t make her an astronaut?

    If someone could repeat that line and the context I’d appreciate it.

  75. 75.

    Brick Oven Bill

    I’ll be sure to buy a birth announcement in the local paper here, so if your kid ever wants to be the US President, he can claim US Citizenship. But let’s get our story straight, we will say he was born at Mercy Hospital.

    Mercy Hospital.

    Congratulations Krista.

  83. 83.

    MazeDancer

    “They keep us focused on what we must do to make the place better.”

    Nice thoughts, Ella in NM.

    And one thing the world needs to change are lots of beloved children. Kids brought happily into the world and brought up lovingly to be their own best selves. Nothing will more fully change the world than people like. Especially they grow up and run the place. So many congratulations and celebrations to the Red Kittens and new kitten Kitten. Thanks for giving the world more love.

  84. 84.

    MazeDancer

    Of course another thing that will help change the world is when the “edit” function is back at Balloon Juice. Sentences in earlier comment in English:

    …”Nothing will more fully change the world than people like that. Especially when they grow up and run the place.”

  85. 85.

    Cyrus

    Congratulations, Krista!

    @Bob In Pacifica:

    If someone could repeat that line and the context I’d appreciate it.

    I’m too lazy to hunt down the link, but the context was Sarah Palin’s claim to foreign policy experience because Alaska is near Russia.

  86. 86.

    R-Jud

    @Boudica: Had a c-section myself (and the baby would’ve died otherwise) so I’m not knocking it– it was just that the last I heard, Krista was going in for a C-section.

    Again: hooray!

  87. 87.

    pcbedamned

    @The Saff:

    Here in the good ol’ Great White North he’ll be a hockey nut…
    (for my 11 year old son, EVERYTHING he owns has to have the Ottawa Senators on it…Everything)

    Congrats on our newest Canuck!!! Hopefully this finds everyone well, and Mom getting some well deserved rest before the real fun begins :-)

  89. 89.

    Brian J

    Congratulations to her.

    I can’t say I’m one for kids. I don’t hate them, I just don’t deal well with ones that aren’t related to me. It’s probably an age thing, but even if it’s not, I can respect how happy they make some people. The look of joy on my brother’s face and his wife’s face as they took two of their children to a baseball game for the first time a few weeks ago says it all.

    I hope her child brings her lots of happiness and wish her the best.

  91. 91.

    maya

    Congrats, Redkitten, (aka,Krista) and daddy Redkitten. I’m sure he’ll grow up to be one heck of a mouser.

  96. 96.

    South of I-10

    Cher ti bebe!! Congrats to Krista and family. Hope you are able to get some rest today!

  99. 99.

    Cain

    Congratulations Krista! :-) Well done! As others have noted, better keep a copy of that birth certificate! :D

    cain

  101. 101.

    Doctor Science

    Mazel Tov! Congrats to the whole family: stressed-out Mr.Kitten, proudly-exhausted RedKitten, and the newest kitteh. Are his eyes open yet? [it’s a cat joke …]

  102. 102.

    SGEW

    Congratulations and three cheers for Krista/RedKitten!
    It’s a competition with the stoopids, people. Breed, breed!

    Also:
    @Bob In Pacifica:

    If someone could repeat that line and the context I’d appreciate it.

    Original comment here.

  104. 104.

    JGabriel

    Bob in Pacifica:

    If someone could repeat that line and the context I’d appreciate it.

    Context: Sarah Palin had just bolstered her Foreign Policy credentials by saying that you could see Russia from Alaska.

    Krista: Yeah, and I can see the moon from my window. Doesn’t make me a fucking astronaut now, does it?

    .

  106. 106.

    General Winfield Stuck

    On a sadder yet funny note. Erick Erickson is on Washington Journal this morn wanking more lies than Dick Cheney’s alter ego. It should be on replay at cspan later today.

    Did you know that Redstate bitterly opposed George Bush when he was wrong, or that Redstate offers an open forum that welcomes libtards?

  108. 108.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    Did you know that Redstate bitterly opposed George Bush when he was wrong, or that Redstate offers an open forum that welcomes libtards?

    I haven’t been over there in forever. Any other cool new changes?

  114. 114.

    SGEW

    @harlana pepper:

    These last few months should go down in history as The Summer of Insanity

    Yeah, right. Wait ’till next summer, as the 2010 midterms heat up. I predict . . . increased ugliness.

  119. 119.

    Brachiator

    Redkitten (aka Krista) reports that she gave birth a 7 lb 11 ounce baby boy last night at 1:15 am

    Very cool. Congratulations on the arrival of your little TomKat.

  121. 121.

    A Ghost To Most

    Congratulations, Krista!

    I don’t know if this is your first child, but if he is your second, welcome to the true mystery of parenthood:

    from now on, you can never be sure who REALLY did it.

  122. 122.

    Martin

    The old fashioned way? She sat in the waiting room of her soc!alized hospital for 2 days waiting to be called and fired the kid off while leaning against the Old Dutch vending machine?

    Congrats Krista. There is no greater achievement than making people. Enjoy every moment with your new little canuck.

  123. 123.

    Elizabelle

    Wonderful news! Congratulations to RedKitten and her new little tiger. Oh, and to Mr. RedKitten too. Somebody has to hold the new little guy while Mom blogs.

  124. 124.

    Ash Can

    Woo hoo! Congratulations to the Kitten family, and to Krista for finishing the marathon and lucking out by avoiding surgery.

    Baby boys are the berries. Just remember to keep a cloth “in place” during changing to avoid getting sprinkled.

  125. 125.

    CaseyL

    Yay, Krista! We want pictures! – No, not of the birth itself (eek!) but of the New Arrival. Does the Redkitten kitten have a name yet?

    I remember when “7 lbs 11 oz” would have been considered one helluva big baby – back around, oh, 20 or so years ago. Now I think it’s considered within the average weight curve.

    I think there are 2 main reasons:

    One, once upon a time, just about everyone in the US smoked cigarettes. Some mommies stopped during their pregnancy, but most didn’t. We know smoking causes low birth weight; maybe a history of smoking (even if you stop during gestation) can cause low-normal birth weight. The reason might have to do with oxygenation (see point two, below), or could have to do with nicotine generally inhibiting growth.

    Two, up to about 10 years ago, most women didn’t exercise during pregnancy. Exercising doesn’t affect the fetus directly, but exercising regularly enhances the baseline oxygenation of the blood which, during pregnancy, means fetal as well as maternal blood. Better oxygen = better health and development all ’round = bigger babies.

    Anyway, those are my theories.

  126. 126.

    canuckistani

    Congrats, Krista!

    When diaper one comes off, be ready with diaper two right away. You’ll know why soon enough.

  129. 129.

    Citizen_X

    Congratulations! Now, here’s hoping in 2013 Pres. Palin will launch Operation Canadian Freedom, and our brave troops can liberate the boy from the tyranny of socialized health care.

    KIDDING!

    More likely, in a couple of years, the kid will be watching television with you and ask, “Mommy, what are all those scary old people so mad about?” And you’ll say, “Don’t worry, honey. Those are crazy people living across the border. They’re angry because they’re not in power any more.”

  130. 130.

    Xenos

    Congratulations and so on from a stranger on the internet who finds this news quite heartening and cheering. Speedy recovery and don’t let motherhood deplete your snark reserves.

  131. 131.

    SGEW

    To tell the truth, I suspect that it would be best for Krista and her newborn infant if she were to abstain from all political coverage for a while. There’s a lot of bad hoodoo out there right now, and I don’t think they need the agita of reading about crazy town hall protesters or the latest Republican lie.

  132. 132.

    ellaesther

    More congratulations from another stranger! Absolutely lovely news! I wish you and the wee kitten all the best.

    And I hope you come back with pictures! Ah, babies. They beat even pets in the cute department.

  133. 133.

    Sentient Puddle

    Congrats, Krista!

    And this I must comment on…

    @JGabriel:

    Of course, “Judge”, “President”, and “Master” have similar qualities.

    My young cousin actually has “Justice” as his middle name. He was named after his grandfather, who was a judge. I don’t know if they considered “Judge” as a middle name initially, but in my opinion, “Justice” works better, at least for his fully name: Jack Justice [one-syllable last name] (yeah, privacy reasons). The name just exudes gravitas.

    On the other hand, the kid is practically a hippie. Not that it makes him any less awesome (and believe me, the dude is incredibly awesome). It’s just difficult to see him donning the black robe in his lifetime.

  134. 134.

    AkaDad

    I’m disappointed that Krista didn’t set up a birth canal cam for us.

    Congrats anyway. ;-)

  135. 135.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    Let’s see, it’s been almost 12 hours since Master Redkitten has been born, shouldn’t Krista be blogging again? What’s up with that? I mean it was only like 28 hours of labor.

    Just kidding! I hope at least you’ll find time in the near future to read all our well wishes.

  137. 137.

    Anne Laurie

    Congratulations, Krista and family!

    Ten years from now, young TomKitten will be rolling his eyes while all the Olds try to tell him about the ancient times when we had to access the intertoobz through keyboards and monitors…

  139. 139.

    burnspbesq

    Congrats. Enjoy the journey, and keep your sense of humor close at hand, for you will surely need it from time to time.

  144. 144.

    YellowJournalism

    Hooray for Redkitten’s kitten! Enjoy the wee little diapers, sleepers and socks while it lasts. Take lots of pictures. Enjoy the new baby smell. (At least until the smell enters the poo, that is.)

  151. 151.

    Indylib

    Congrats, Krista, BabyKit, and Dad!

    You don’t suppose she’s contemplating names like Felix, Morris or Garfield for the little guy do you?

  158. 158.

    Jackie

    “When the labor is over the work begins” My Gram was a master of folksy sayings. Congrats and good work!

  165. 165.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    Now I have to take back my ‘Krista is taking the easy way out’ with the C-section and go back to my original statement of how Canadian women should be complemented on how they are willing to labor endlessly for their children. ;)

    Congratulations Krista, Daddy & Baby! I hope all are doing well and look forward to your nightmare stories about how the Canadian health system tried to stuff the baby back in and make you wait for another six months.

    :D

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