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You are here: Home / Son, Be a Dentist, You’ll Be a Success

Son, Be a Dentist, You’ll Be a Success

by | 79 Comments

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This strikes me as a really bad medical care choice:

The dental office of Orly Taitz, DDS, Esq., is in a low-slung complex in a quiet planned community in Orange County, alongside an assortment of small businesses and solo practitioners. The practice, Appealing Dentistry, is busy this morning. In the waiting room are a woman with no dental insurance and a boy with three cavities, and the phone is ringing off the hook with dentists eager to fill a job opening.

I can’t describe how bad off I would have to be before I let Orly (YA, RLY!) Taitz near me with medical instruments in that little shop of horrors. I’d probably opt to take care of my dental pain myself, with an ice pick, a pair of pliers, and a handle of Jack Daniels.

Reader Interactions

79Comments

  2. 2.

    Svensker

    She’s a dentist, in addition to being insane? But she can probably do root canals without having to resort to any tools. The voice alone would do it.

  4. 4.

    asiangrrlMN

    Well to be fair, just because she’s batshitcrazy, it doesn’t mean she can’t be a competent dentist….

    But yeeeeah, no. I wouldn’t let her anywhere near my pearly whites with a drill. Why is the movie Marathon Man running through my mind?

  7. 7.

    Common Sense

    Epic Title choice. John You Rock with the pithy, punny (in a good way) and succinct Headlines.

  8. 8.

    The Republic of Stupidity

    Orly Taitz…

    She’s a dentist…

    She’s a lawyer…

    She’s a dentist/lawyer/pilot/nuclear physicist (but only on weekends)/spy…
    I think we have the makings of a sixties-style sitcom here..

    “The Orly Bunch“… identical quintuples, each with their own special skills, solving crimes…

    … when not performing as a rock band…

  9. 9.

    Warren Terra

    Here she is, folks the leader of the plaque!
    Watch her suck up that gas!
    Oh, my gawd!
    She’s a dentist and she’ll never ever be any good
    Who wants their teeth done by the Marquess de Sade?

    …

    It’s swell though they tell me I’m maladjusted
    And though it may cause my patients distress,
    Somewhere, maybe in Kenya or Hawai’i,
    I know, I know, that my mama’s proud of me
    Oh, mama
    ‘Cause I’m a dentist and a success
    Say ah!

    (with profound apologies)

  12. 12.

    Zifnab

    Orly Taitz promises to provide you with all the quality dental care you need, and guarantees NO alien gps beacons will be lodged in your fillings.

  13. 13.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Orly is nutty as a shithouse lawyer. In fact, she is a shithouse lawyer and OC dentist. I really liked the part of her assistant birfer being a disbarred lawyer and self described “Anarchist” / Suitably Ironic with a nice touch.

  14. 14.

    Hunter Gathers

    Taitz is the real-life Dr. Nick Riviera.

    “Call 1-800-LAWYERB. The B is for bargain!”

  17. 17.

    cleek

    I really liked the part of her assistant birfer being a disbarred lawyer and self described “Anarchist”

    Anarchist, eh ?

    maybe they’re part of a real-life Upright Citizens Brigade. they’re here to sow the seeds of chaos because we’ve become too lazy and complacent in our button-down world. the whole birfer thing isn’t about getting Obama out of office – it’s about sending the country into chaotic turmoil.

    I’l get you, Bong Boy!

  19. 19.

    r€nato

    These days it has become so difficult to distinguish satire from true wingnuttery, I keep expecting Orly to reveal herself as a performance artist who’s been pulling an Andy Kaufman on us.

  20. 20.

    ellaesther

    …and as a leftwing Israeli, I can’t tell you how happy I am that the meme set off by her name is not “Hey, did you know that she’s Israeli”? but rather “YA RLY!”

    Because frankly I have a hard enough time explaining the leftwing Israeli thing as is.

  22. 22.

    The Republic of Stupidity

    Taitz is the real-life Dr. Nick Riviera.
    __________

    You forgot Lionel Hutz…

  25. 25.

    dmsilev

    She’s also a real estate agent.

    Jon Stewart described her as a one-stop shop if you want to get a root canal screwed up, file a malpractice lawsuit, and buy a house with the settlement money.

    -dms

  26. 26.

    Ash Can

    I don’t see how having Orly Taitz as one’s dentist could possibly end well.

    Taitz: So, my friend, what do you think of Obama?

    Patient (eyeing sharp instruments in Taitz’s hands): He sucks!

    Taitz: SWINE! You did not denounce him with sufficient force! (Leans in closer) I shall now show you what we do here to those who do not denounce with sufficient force.

  28. 28.

    neill

    you’ll also need a tweezers, and a mirror (or the bottom of a big can of candied yams). Max Baucus can show you how, as he learned it from Chuck Grassley.

  29. 29.

    MattF

    And, she refers to her “children” in the article, so she has offspring, plural. “Lawyer, dentist, psychotic, mother of two.” This isn’t going to end well.

  30. 30.

    jibeaux

    What if you had to pick between having her as your dentist or as your lawyer? What a horrifying Sophie’s choice that would be…

  32. 32.

    Da Bomb

    @Xenos: HA-HA!
    And she gives all three professions bad names.

    @MattF: Stupid and ugly people always want to breed and unleash their awfulness onto the world.

  35. 35.

    LD50

    I don’t know what it is, but I’ve known of several dentists who went off the rails like this. About 7 years ago, the dentist I had when I was a teenager was convicted of this:

    Donald E. Wishart, 65, was convicted of trying to use worthless “comptroller warrants” from the right-wing Montana Freemen group to redeem his foreclosed house in Los Altos Hills from Bay View Federal Bank and of using an additional Freemen warrant in an effort to pay off a prior federal income tax debt, estimated at over $1.3 million, according to the U.S. Attorney’s Office for Northern California. According to prosecutors, Mr. Wishart paid about $100 for more than $7 million in “warrants” during a two-day seminar conducted by the Montana Freemen in December 1995. The court found that “those who attended [the] seminars had to know that the [warrants] had no actual value and that, in fact, they were simply a means of trying to put one over on somebody or trying to catch somebody in a snare by inadvertently negotiating the [worthless warrants].” Sentencing is scheduled for May 7.

    During the 90s my folks used to complain that every time they went to see him, he was horribly overbooked and they had an hour wait every time. Turns out he was cramming in all those patients in order to work off gambling/tax debts.

  36. 36.

    ironranger

    I don’t have a dentist phobia but just imagining her face looming at me with dental tools in her hands would definitely give me nightmares.
    A few other docs you couldn’t pay me enough to make an appt with, Tom Coburn, Paul Broun & Bill Frist.

  38. 38.

    Warren Terra

    Funny, I’m flashing on Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors.

    Maybe it’s the post title?

  39. 39.

    Punchy

    I read that article, and it wasn’t very flattering for Oily. I’m willing to bet my next paycheck that she’s about to slam the reporter as an Agent Of Obama and a brownshirt to boot.

    Prob is, I’m too scared of viruses and malware to click on her website to check her response.

  40. 40.

    Matthew

    What, so you’re all saying you wouldn’t want her to save your mouth from the socialist Cavity Creeps that Democrats have unleashed on our precious teeth?

  42. 42.

    raptusregaliter

    I can’t even imagine the job interview inflicted upon the dentists who are clamoring to join Oily’s practice.

    And must these poor souls also have secondary careers that will complement Oily’s–like dentist/mechanic or dentist/landscaper/air traffic controller?

  43. 43.

    RedKitten

    The practice, Appealing Dentistry, is busy this morning. In the waiting room are a woman with no dental insurance and a boy with three cavities, and the phone is ringing off the hook with dentists eager to fill a job opening.

    The mind boggles…

  44. 44.

    Michael

    I just keep thinking about the old Soviet Jewish lady I knew with a mouthful of steel teeth.

    Wonder if Orly keeps an industrial forge in the backyard to melt down scrap metal for use in her dental practice?

  46. 46.

    R-Jud

    @LD50:

    I don’t know what it is, but I’ve known of several dentists who went off the rails like this.

    Funnily enough, me too. My childhood dentist would rant and rave about some of my teachers, who he said were dirty liberal commies. The dentist I saw in college was a Scientologist and kept trying to get me to go in for auditing.

  49. 49.

    Gordon, The Big Express Engine

    My dentist is pretty cool, except I get the perfunctory twice a year pitch for veneers…

    Dentist offices attract strange people. The hygienist was convinced that you could tell the sex of a second child by where the cowlick was on the head of your first child. Dead center = same gender. Off-center = opposite sex as your first child.

    “It nevers fails!” she told me.

    She happened to be right in my case!

  50. 50.

    Mnemosyne

    True story: when I went in for my cleaning last week, my dentist started talking about how funny Little Shop of Horrors is. He was showing the Steve Martin clips to his staff. Should I be worried?

  51. 51.

    rickles

    ironranger @ 35
    Former Congressman Dave Weldon is now in practice with my primary care physician. While my pcp was out for back surgery, I was offered an appointment with Weldon. No F**KING WAY, was my response! I’m a gay liberal and I wouldn’t let that hypocritical kook anywhere near me, I’d let whatever I had kill me first.

  52. 52.

    Kilkee

    Over at TPM right now they have the latest Oily pleading, a demand by Judge Land to recuse himself. The level of down-the-rabbithole argument is itself breathtaking, but the real payoff is the attached Affidavit from some yahoo who asserts that he was sitting in a coffee shop across from Land’s courthouse one day and who walks in but Attorney Genral Eric Holder! It was obviously him because he had both a small moustache and “olive” skin! And so, your affiant concludes, what could he have been doing there but “whispering in the ear” of Judge Land on behalf of his Kenyan born Usurper in Chief Barrack Hussein Obama! Wa!!

  56. 56.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I would not go to any professional (I use the term loosely) whose eyes had big ol’ tarantulas crawling on them.

  59. 59.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    Good Lord. I just skimmed through the filing posted at TPM.

    Looks like her strategy involves making Land so angry he explodes, taking out most of the state of Georgia in the process. This will be a shame because we’ll miss testimony from one Robert Douglas, who saw a black guy in the vicinity and recognized Eric Holder.

  60. 60.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @IndieTarheel: I for one never have. And you simply confirm my long-held theory that they are one and the same. Oily Tartz just has to be a spoof.

  61. 61.

    feebog

    What I want to know is; what gives with the hair? I hope it’s a wig, because no one could purposely have hair that bad.

  62. 62.

    Ron

    Gah, thanks for getting that song going through my head now. Maybe we can make Ms. Taitz work on Audrey II.

  63. 63.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @R-Jud:

    My childhood dentist would rant and rave about some of my teachers, who he said were dirty liberal commies.

    Mine didn’t seem political, but when he adjusted my braces every week, I suspected he enjoyed inflicting pain.

  65. 65.

    Little Dreamer

    Is the opening for a dentist in her office to replace her when she finally pisses off one too many judges and lands herself in jail?

    I hear she’s got herself a real estate business too. I will venture a guess that she’s going to open a brokerage firm next (consistent with how she studies for her professions, she’s probably studying online through a free trading account).

    I can only thank the FSM that the part of Orly Taitz was cast long before I landed on this worldly stage. Whew! Glad I missed that casting call.

  66. 66.

    24AheadDotCom

    Here’s a simple, yes-or-no question: did the reporter lie about the basic, easy-to-understand, cut-and-dried facts of this matter? If you say “no”, please provide a detailed explanation. (Note to the reader: instead of providing a valid argument, any replies to this will probably be ad homs or invalid).

  67. 67.

    Little Dreamer

    @24AheadDotCom:

    Apparently you never learned the concept that you can’t prove a negative? Go ahead and prove it was Holder.

    If Holder was there, I want to know about it; but saying someone was there who looked like him with a moustache like his doesn’t make it him. Holder has plenty to do and doesn’t either need to influence a federal judge who is handling a case where the president isn’t even recognized as a U.S. citizen (the case is laughable, Holder could and most likely would hurt the case by getting involved and I’m sure he knows that) and I’m sure with situations being what they are, he’s already a very busy man.

    Look, I’m not even a college graduate and I can figure this out, why can’t you?

  68. 68.

    PurpleGirl

    Punchy — I once tried going to her website and Avast went wild, but wild, warning me that the was filled with malware. I left the site quickly. Later I heard that she blames opposition forces for installing malware on her site.

  69. 69.

    PurpleGirl

    My dentist went for a law degree about 15(?) years ago. He passed the NY bar exam and often works as a consultant. However, he does not put his legal degree on his dental business card. That card only has the dental degree.

    Orly uses Esq. instead of stating what the legal degree is and she adds it after the DDS. It makes me laugh.

  73. 73.

    Zuzu's Petals

    I can’t describe how bad off I would have to be before I let Orly (YA, RLY!) Taitz near me with medical instruments in that little shop of horrors.

    Hey, you’d have good reason, even if it weren’t for the you know, insanity thing. She’s been sued for malpractice a whole buncha times.

  74. 74.

    Seanly

    @24AheadDotCom:

    Here’s a simple, yes-or-no question for you: why are you bothering us?

    Please provide a lengthy explanation in iambic pentameter.

    Or just die in a fire. Either one.

    RE: Orly Taitz – aren’t there questions about how she came to be in the United States?

  75. 75.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    Us Orly watchers are currently awaiting the double whammy of a ruling on the Motion to Dismiss in Barnett v. Obama by Judge Carter (in CA and a case in which she was saying at the tea bag party that she would “have Obama out of office in 30 days”) and Judge Land’s sanctions order in GA, her response which was due on Friday (Oct 2) consisted of again calling the Judge a traitor, asking him to recuse himself and then asking him for an extension of time to file her response to his Order to Show Cause. Oh and she also filed the affidavit saying that Judge Land was being influenced by Eric Holder who happened to be in CA on the day some Orlybot swore an affidavit saying that he saw Holder in a coffee shop. When it was mentioned to him that Holder was giving a speech in CA when he supposedly saw him he said “perhaps I was mistaken”. More Rule 11 violations. Orly the gift that keeps on giving.

  76. 76.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Seanly:

    Actually – no – there is no record of her immigration papers or naturalization papers with the INS.

  77. 77.

    Nerull

    One of the local dentists here has a waiting room full of creationism literature. Answers Magazine subscription, “Bible-based guide to the Zoo”, etc.

  78. 78.

    Alex

    “Never play cards with a man called Doc, never sleep with someone whose problems are worse than your own, and certainly don’t accept dental surgery from someone named after a French airport…”

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Trackbacks

  1. […] Orly Taitz’s customers want the public option: The dental office of Orly Taitz, DDS, Esq., is in a low-slung complex in a quiet planned community in Orange County, alongside an assortment of small businesses and solo practitioners. The practice, Appealing Dentistry, is busy this morning. In the waiting room are a woman with no dental insurance and a boy with three cavities, and the phone is ringing off the hook with dentists eager to fill a job opening. […]