Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Cancel the cowardly WaPo and set up an equivalent monthly donation to ProPublica.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

When we show up, we win.

Lick the third rail, it tastes like chocolate!

Speaker Mike Johnson is a vile traitor to the House and the Constitution.

You know it’s bad when the Project 2025 people have to create training videos on “How To Be Normal”.

Somebody needs to explain to DeSantis that nobody needs to do anything to make him look bad.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

After dobbs, women are no longer free.

I conferred with the team and they all agree – still not tired of winning!

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

We still have time to mess this up!

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

When you’re in more danger from the IDF than from Russian shelling, that’s really bad.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Giving up is unforgivable. ~Joe Biden

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

You are here: Home / If You Blow Yourself Up, I’ll Shoot!

Reader Interactions

57Comments

  2. 2.

    General Winfield Stuck

    It was because Obama ended Bush’s preventive war program, otherwise Dick Cheney would have already had this guys nuts mounted on his basement wall of freedom.

  3. 3.

    Backbencher

    I have to admit that the government’s plan to identify terrorists, putting the terrorists on a watch list, and then letting airline passengers and crews do the actual work of stopping the terrorists is working to perfection.

  5. 5.

    GregB

    It seems like only yesterday that every slight, possible terrorist related incident was used to rally the ‘Murkins round the great president and stifle any criticism of said great leader.

    What a difference an election makes.

    Kooky Hoekstra and Pete the Heat Miser King are grade A puds who should take Alan Grayson’s advice and STFU.

    -G

  6. 6.

    Premptive Strike

    In my opinion, not enough has been made of the Yemen connection. First do they have OIL? Almost depleted? Well never mind then, let’s get back to work on those plans for the Iran invasion.

  8. 8.

    SGEW

    Yglesias cuts to the chase:

    The United States could not, of course, be “devastated” by anything resembling this scheme. We ought to be clear on that fact. We want to send the message around the world that this sort of vile attempt to slaughter innocent people is not, at the end of the day, anything resembling a serious challenge to American power. It’s attempted murder, it’s wrong, we should try to stop it, but it’s really not much more than that.

  10. 10.

    raholco

    Schipol’s security is normally better than the security theatre here-in the past when I was visiting family in the Netherlands they hand-screened my luggage and did a pat-down-doesn’t sound like that’s happening recently.

    I also had to laugh at the ex-head of NWA’s security now in private industry saying that a full-body scan machine (at a million a pop) would have stopped this. NFW-he would have just had this stuff in his carry-on and would have just ditched into the restroom to strap this stuff on.

    But hey-never let a fake crisis go to waste-right, Rep. King?

  13. 13.

    cleek

    The United States could not, of course, be “devastated” by anything resembling this scheme.

    no, but there’s a chance that the political opposition could be!

    demagogues, ho!

  14. 14.

    demkat620

    Okay, so some guy lights his crotch on fire and we are supposed to run around screaming in fear now?

  16. 16.

    MikeJ

    @AhabTRuler: Who used to tell the joke about how the odds of there being a bomb on a plane were a million to one, so he always brought his own along, figuring the odds on there being *two* bombs on board were astronomical.

  17. 17.

    CalD

    I was flipping around channels last night and couldn’t help giggling every time I clicked through the cable “news” channel region (I never stop there anymore) that they seemed in wall-to-wall coverage mode over a fucking firecracker.

    How many hours of programming do you suppose they’ve devoted to endlessly discussion and dissection the incident at this point and at what cost? How many hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars worth of labor, airtime and electricity spent on a story whose actual information content, the actual news part, takes all of maybe 30 seconds to a minute to report in its entirety — maybe two minutes if you brought in aviation expert to try and come up with some possible stretch of imagination, even the most wildly tenuous scenario whereby one could bring down an airliner with a fucking firecracker.

    If this stuff continues to sell advertising at this point, I can only conclude that a) we truly have become a nation of pussies and b) our country truly has the news media we deserve.

  19. 19.

    donovong

    Glad I am not flying anytime soon.

    Funny that the single most potentially effective security tool we have cannot be fully utilized because it may reveal that people are nekkid under their clothing. Oh, Teh Horrors!!

    Wankers.

  20. 20.

    demkat620

    Hydrogen Peroxide? Are we sure this guy just wasn’t trying to give himself an inflight depilatory?

    Maybe he had a hot date and he wanted that smoove look.

  22. 22.

    Gravenstone

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    Mix it with Acetone and BOOM!!

    Well, if you can get the good stuff in terms of peroxide. And if you can keep the whole mess cold, and … Well, niggling little details don’t matter.

    Anyone else make the point that the “heroic” passengers didn’t thwart a goddamned thing? The device had already been activated, it simply fizzled. Probably because the clown either had low grade reagents or had no clue what he was doing. Acting after the fact may be noble and understandable, but no one prevented a fucking thing.

  24. 24.

    MattR

    @Gravenstone:

    Anyone else make the point that the “heroic” passengers didn’t thwart a goddamned thing? The device had already been activated, it simply fizzled. Probably because the clown either had low grade reagents or had no clue what he was doing. Acting after the fact may be noble and understandable, but no one prevented a fucking thing.

    I was just thinking the exact same thing as I read the headline at TPM:

    Terror Attack Thwarted In Skies Over Detroit

  25. 25.

    calipygian

    If you thought pilots were already distracted enough by debating work schedueles when they should have been bringing the plane in for a landing in Minneapolis, can you imagine how distracted they would be by the accounting requirements that would be necessary to carry a weapon on the plane?

    And how would an armed pilot have helped in this instance anyway?

    Seems to me armed pilots are a recipe for more people dying from accidental discharges depressurinzing cabins leading to disaster than from terrorism.

    But noone ever said conservatives were smart or anything.

  28. 28.

    wasabi gasp

    a fucking firecracker

    I’m hearing the guy almost hyperventilated everybody to death by igniting a pair of Lanvin sneakers with the warm joy of handing poor folk a sandwich.

  29. 29.

    ericblair

    @MattR: Terror Attack Thwarted In Skies Over Detroit

    I guess we mean Terror Attack Thwarted By Poor Chemical Handling Technique in Skies Over Detroit.

    I breathlessly await the newest round of post-equine barn-door-locking from our Lord High Bedwetters, and will patiently wait for any analysis of the functionality of our sooper-seekrit Do Not Fly list.

  31. 31.

    CalD

    OK so maybe it wasn’t a firecracker (the original report that I heard seems to have been later revised and extended). But the rest of my rant still stands.

  32. 32.

    licensed to kill time

    This attempt was about as effective as that ass bomb that turned into shaped charge and only ripped the guy a new one.

  33. 33.

    Mayken

    @raholco: Yeah, I was just there in late Oct (unfortunately for my Oma’s funeral) and the security seemed a little more laid back than in times past, though I have never seen them do full-body pat downs except at random. When I was there in April, they had individual screenings at the gate (vs the mass screenings as everyone comes into the gate areas) while this time we did the mass screening thing. I wonder if the Dutch equivalent of the TSA has had major budget cuts or something. (Unsurprisingly, I have always found the Dutch security much more pleasant to deal with than TSA – by orders of magnitude.)

  35. 35.

    Mayken

    @donovong: My brother is unfortunately flying home from Schipol tomorrow. He travels with insulin so it ought to be really interesting. I feel bad for him.

  36. 36.

    licensed to kill time

    Eventually we will all have to wear airline supplied paper suits and slippers once we’ve been thoroughly strip and cavity searched. Or maybe they’ll just go with the knockout gas and we all fly unconscious to our destinations.

    “Sleep in Safety” Airlines, the only way to fly!

  37. 37.

    dp

    i couldn’t imagine a safer outcome than the one envisioned by the NRA – hot lead flying at 1000 ft/s in a pressurized aluminum tube at 30000 feet.

  38. 38.

    Corner Stone

    @wasabi gasp: Honestly, I don’t know what hidden lair you retreat to for solace but fer God’s sake please continue to venture out of it and entertain the rest of us.
    You are on fire! (and not like the douchebag on the plane either, but actually rocking the commentariat here at BJ)

  39. 39.

    Corner Stone

    I’m just thankful that coming back from Tucson recently they didn’t shock me into compliance for the last hour of the flight.
    I agreed to have my balls wired up as a safety precaution, and somehow remained rock solid as we flew over NM, West TX and into IAH.
    That was a close one.

    I mean, are you fucking kidding me? I can’t access my fucking carry on for the last fucking hour of the flight? Fuck you, you goddamn jackboots. I need some some fucking Trident, mmmkay?
    Not to mention I work for a living. Are you going to sedate me now? Jeebus X. Machina Christus.

  40. 40.

    Corner Stone

    @licensed to kill time: The TSA will sell us all approved outfits and pre-screening passes. We’ll only have to pay a little extra if we ask for the rubber gloves to have lube while they pre-inspect our personages.
    I flew with my 5yr old recently and when we went through security he asked me some common sense questions I was unable to answer re: security and flying.
    If a 5yr old can figure out that we’re all a bunch of morans for agreeing to this stupid Big Brother shit for the illusion of “security”, I mean c’mon!
    Of course, he is an actual evil genius so maybe he’s not the right sample group.

  41. 41.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Corner Stone: Hey c’mon, you can’t tease and leave like that! What were some of the five-year-old’s questions?

  42. 42.

    Corner Stone

    @SiubhanDuinne: Listen, the kid’s figured out how to make the plane fly backwards in the Nintendo Wii’s Resort Dogfighting game, in about 2 weeks.
    Don’t ask me how because I’ve watched him and I still don’t know.
    And honestly? When he starts asking me about comparative volume? Where do you go from there?

    But essentially he said words to the effect of, “What could my shoe$ be made of that could hurt anyone, but I could still walk in them?”
    “Doesn’t it feel silly to hold your pants up when you have a belt?”
    “What do they think we’re going to do?”

  43. 43.

    licensed to kill time

    @Corner Stone:

    The TSA will sell us all approved outfits and pre-screening passes. We’ll only have to pay a little extra if we ask for the rubber gloves to have lube while they pre-inspect our personages.

    And it will be promoted as the bestest thing evah.

    ” Leave your worries at the gate, plane won’t blow up and make you late, Fly Real ‘Murkan Airlines ! ”

    (any other airline means you have something to hide)

  44. 44.

    henqiguai

    @Corner Stone (#42):

    “What could my shoe$ be made of that could hurt anyone, but I could still walk in them?”

    Well, this one at least, I can answer – plastic explosives; that requires a blasting cap to detonate, if I recall correctly.

  45. 45.

    Corner Stone

    @licensed to kill time:

    And it will be promoted as the bestest thing evah.

    And strangely, if it happens during the Obama administration then anyone who has a problem with it will be castrated by the online community.
    “Why won’t you open your ass to be inspected?!”
    “This is the best we could get! Obama is powerless against the Senator from Naboo!”

  48. 48.

    licensed to kill time

    @Corner Stone:

    Real ‘Murkans aren’t afraid to spread their cheeks. They’ll be wearing Big Brown Eye lapel pins along with the dangling teabags on their hats.

    “And you shall know them by these signs….”

  50. 50.

    Master Mahan

    Obviously this incident proves how vital arming pilots is. If the pilot in this plane had had a gun, all the people on that flight might still be alive. *cough*

  52. 52.

    Corner Stone

    @SiubhanDuinne: Hmmm. Yes. The first time I gave him a Jif-to-go peanut butter pak he ate some, looked at it, looked at me and said, “This is a really good delivery system.”
    I could go on but, eh. “that’s my boy!”

  54. 54.

    Darkrose

    CNN was awesome last night–at one point they interviewed a guy who was like, 30 rows behind this dude. What, exactly, is he going to be able to tell you?

  56. 56.

    Joe

    December 26th, 2009 at 11:13 am Reply to this comment

    calipygian

    If you thought pilots were already distracted enough by debating work schedueles when they should have been bringing the plane in for a landing in Minneapolis, can you imagine how distracted they would be by the accounting requirements that would be necessary to carry a weapon on the plane?

    And how would an armed pilot have helped in this instance anyway?

    Seems to me armed pilots are a recipe for more people dying from accidental discharges depressurinzing cabins leading to disaster than from terrorism.

    But noone ever said conservatives were smart or anything.

    Actually you’re just a fucking idiot.

Comments are closed.