Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We will not go quietly into the night; we will not vanish without a fight.

Someone should tell Republicans that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, or possibly the first.

Democrats are back in array!

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

We won’t go back.

Celebrate the fucking wins.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

I was confident that someone would point it out and thought why not me.

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Hey Washington Post, “Democracy Dies in Darkness” is supposed to be a warning, not a mission statement.

People are weird.

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

Everyone is in a bubble, but some bubbles model reality far better than others!

Motown is Joe-Town!

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

I also would like a pony to improve my balloon juice experience.

The arc of the moral universe doesn’t bend itself. it’s up to us.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

The US Supreme Court is on the ballot in november.

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

You are here: Home / Humorous / Early Morning Open Thread: Resolution Fail!

Reader Interactions

41Comments

  2. 2.

    J. Michael Neal

    Octopuses are quite possibly the coolest animals on the face of the earth, or below it, depending upon your view of the ocean. This is not the first evidence that they are the smartest animals that aren’t warm blooded. They are also very good at problem solving tests. What’s weird goes beyond just the fact that they aren’t mammals, or even that they aren’t vertebrates. It’s also that they have a much more decentralized brain than we do. Their central brain is supplemented by much more decision making capacity at the extremities. They’re fascinating.

    I always pass off my refusal to eat calamari as ethical, rather than the fact that I just can’t stomach the stuff.

  4. 4.

    stibbert

    greetings, fellow cephalopods.

    the octopus is a shy & retiring creature. please do not make any sudden movements, or tap on the glass.

  7. 7.

    Tattoosydney

    Bom dia.

    ETA: FYWP – why do you hate my Flickr link so much?

    Hello from beautiful Lisbon, where every coffee tastes like angels’ pee, the wine is cheap and good, and all of the women (and some of the men) look like Penelope Cruz.

  9. 9.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Thank you so much for this, Anne Laurie. What a great way to start the day! Just as I was about ready to throw something at the early-morning TV (Dana Perino was on Today, Peter King was on GMA *and* the Early Show, and we won’t even talk about the idjits lighting up Morning Joe, CNN, and the other cable nets) I saw this lovely piece. If it didn’t restore my faith in humanity, precisely, it certainly made me feel better about this amazing and funny and wonderful world we all inhabit.

    And J. Michael Neal, thanks to you too for the value-added comments about the octopus’s “decentralized brain.” Just fascinating.

  10. 10.

    ExcuseMeExcuseMe

    @J. Michael Neal:

    I’m not at all questioning your ethics and the feeling might be the same, but calamari is squid, not octopus.

    They sometimes end up in a salad together on Christmas Eve, but that’s another story.

    You may now rethink your ingestion of hors d’oeuvres. Unless you really, really hate it.

  11. 11.

    Demo Woman

    Anne thanks and I have to agree with SiubhanDuinne that the video was a great way to wake up.
    Yesterday someone wrote that they wished Dodd would resign because Ned Lemont could carry the seat for dems.
    Hopefully who ever wrote that is correct in their analysis.

  13. 13.

    Ash Can

    Yes, this is definitely better to wake up to than Morning Joke and all those other mass-media frauds. Good stuff.

  14. 14.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Demo Woman:

    [wave] Morning DW and happy new year! I’m trying to force myself to get up and moving. The rest of the country might think we’re kind of wussy down here, but as far as I’m concerned it’s bloody cold in ‘Lanna. So stay warm.

    And yes, the consensus so far seems to be that Dodd’s retirement is probably good news for Dems. Dorgan, not so much. It promises to be an interesting political year (if only I didn’t feel so invested in the outcome).

  15. 15.

    Stroszek

    Morning Joe’s buddy Harold Ford is planning a primary challenge against Kirsten Gillibrand. Evidently, he’s not satisfied just being a useful idiot for the GOP on television. For humor’s sake, I do hope he tries to pull off the anti-semitic bullshit his protege employed in TN-9. New York ain’t Tennessee, Harold.

  16. 16.

    Brick Oven Bill

    RE: New Years Resolutions

    Hey asiangrrlMN; Every time Obama reads the word ‘change’ he is reading about us. And every time he reads about each of us doing our part, he is reading at you.

  17. 17.

    SGEW

    Love these videos. Animals are smart; who knew?

    And actually, @J. Michael Neal, I, too, have a strange ethical squeamishness about eating octopus (tho’ I still eat pork, and pigs are pretty damn smart as well; but they don’t use tools!). Calamari, however, is squid, not octopus. I eat squid with great pleasure (best calamari I’ve ever had: coast of Croatia, just before noon, caught mere hours earlier and lightly grilled with a touch of lemon and some polenta; just fantastic). Squid are relatively mindless creatures, so one should have no qualms about devouring them on cerebral grounds (discounting their enormous deep-sea brethren, whose mental capabilities are more or less unknown). As to culinary grounds, non est disputandum.

    In a similar vein, here’s a youtube of why one shouldn’t eat crow (Corvid Tool Modification). Watch the whole thing.

  20. 20.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @SGEW: I will never eat crow. Humble pie, either. Or, my words. Or even my hat.

    This is nice. Gives me latitude to be an arrogant asshole and not worry about the culinary consequences.

  23. 23.

    Seanly

    On other topics, everything is Bad News for Democrats and Good News for Republicans – Yahoo.com conservative fair and balanced news item.

    When Republicans retire from House or Senate it’s bad news for Democrats. Republicans will of course retain the beloved Republican seats with young bucks ready to spread the gospel of either Ron Paul, Newt Gingrich or Dick Cheney.

    When evil Democrats retire from the House or Senate it’s bad news for Democrats. Republicans will of course pick up the old musty Democratic seats with young bucks ready to spread the gospel of either Ron Paul, Newt Gingrich or Dick Cheney.

    If the Republicans do increase their ranks in the Senate, I look forward to two years (at least) of absolutely zero bills getting through Congress. Unless of course, it’s for spreading more death and misfortune. Sigh…

  24. 24.

    Ash Can

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Enjoy the fabulous Taiwanese food

    And that’s a great way to wake up too! Thank goodness my stomach isn’t awake yet, or I’d be in the kitchen eating everything that wasn’t nailed down after looking at those photos.

  25. 25.

    Sanka

    Sen. Dodd set to announce retirement

    WASHINGTON – Sen. Christopher Dodd, a five-term Democrat whose political stock began falling after the financial meltdown, has decided not to seek re-election in November, sources told NBC News.

    The embattled Connecticut senator has scheduled a press conference at his home Wednesday, the Washington Post reported Tuesday night.

    Dodd is facing troubling poll numbers and his popularity has dropped since his 2008 failed run for president.

    Clearly the teabaggers are tearing apart the Republican party…

  27. 27.

    Brick Oven Bill

    Change me. I can be changed. No sacrifice required on your part asiangrrlMN. Quite the opposite. It is a new year.

    My would-be firer at The Facility is a former male dancer. Almost everybody else has been fired. Not me. Let this be your data-point.

  28. 28.

    Stroszek

    @Seanly: Ah, that article was written by Liz “Sprinkles” Sidoti. She’s one of the right-wing hacks brought in by Ron Fournier to help AP deliver Fox News-style coverage to local newspapers.

  31. 31.

    SGEW

    So who was it in here who was outed by this story recently?

    Elephant Kills US Tourists in Kenya

    A pretty goddamn tragic story. Terrifying, to say the least.

    However, in context:

    “I have always believed that these [violent elephants] are elephants who have suffered some severe trauma at the hands of man,” [elephant researcher Joyce Poole] said. “An elephant whose family members are killed by people is unlikely to forget it very quickly—just as you or I wouldn’t forget if an elephant killed a member of our family . . . . African elephant society has been decimated by mass deaths and social breakdown from poaching, culls [systematic killing to control populations], and habitat loss. Wild elephants are displaying symptoms associated with human PTSD [post-traumatic stress disorder.]”

    (cf.)

    Tragic on many levels.

  32. 32.

    Brick Oven Bill

    The Liberal Art of Logic teaches us that it is impossible to prove a negative asiangrrlMN.

  34. 34.

    r€nato

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    The Conservative Art of Logic teaches us that if you cut taxes to zero, government will have infinite revenue.

    Conservative Logic also teaches us that it is bad for government to have any money to spend whatsoever.

    Therefore, we should raise taxes to 100% so that government has no money to spend.

  37. 37.

    HeartlandLiberal

    For John, who will ‘know what it means’:

    Long arm of law reaches into World of Warcraft

    After learning that the fugitive is an avid WoW player, a Deputy sent a subpoena to Blizzard Entertainment in Canada, seeking information that would help his office locate him. Because the company is Canadian and the deputy had no jurisdiction there, he did not expect anything to come of it, but several months later, he received data from the company that included the fugitives’s IP address, account information and history, billing address and online screen name. The information was enough to find the fugitive and have him deported to the US, where he is expected to face charges pending since 2007.

  38. 38.

    Brick Oven Bill

    More advanced Logic classes teach us that those surviving The Facility minute-by-minute tests of Geometry, Arithmetic, (Logic), and, most of all gymnastics, as judged by a male dancer, can change in 2010.

    Li Yinhe teaches us the value nineteen percent. This is an astounding, and unfortunate, value. It need not be.

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