Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When they say they’re pro-life, they don’t mean yours.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

The real work of an opposition party is to oppose.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Republicans got rid of McCarthy. Democrats chose not to save him.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Beware of advice from anyone for whom Democrats are “they” and not “we.”

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

Quote tweet friends, screenshot enemies.

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

He imagines himself as The Big Bad, Who Is Universally Feared… instead of The Big Jagoff, Who Is Universally Mocked.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Every reporter and pundit should have to declare if they ever vacationed with a billionaire.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

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Reader Interactions

218Comments

  1. 1.

    beltane

    I fear for Sully’s mental health. With Palin having her own show, I don’t see how he’ll manage to write about anything else.

  2. 2.

    James Hare

    I think we all anticipated this move. Who is going to be the first to use the phrase “fox on Fox?”

  6. 6.

    GregB

    Puck Falin.

    I’m more interested in the newest faux controversy about Surgeon General Regina Benjamin.

    Apparently she’s overweight and that excludes her from being the nation’s top doctor.

    I certainly can’t recall any similar firestorm about the trim, fit and svelte nominee C. Everett Koop.

    -G

  10. 10.

    handy

    Honestly, she’s no worse than Hannity, O’Reilly, Beck and all the other assorted gasbags there. This is a network after all that hired a convicted felon and a traitor as pundits.

  11. 11.

    DougJ

    Apparently she’s overweight and that excludes her from being the nation’s top doctor.

    Does this mean another three months of the At Pack discussing obesity? It probably does.

    I pray that they don’t somehow lure Fallows into it.

  16. 16.

    jeffreyw

    Will she use the teleprompter? Or will she just say to those fancy pants knowitalls the she just gonna do it live?

  17. 17.

    Zam

    I am seriously contemplating suicide, or at least moving to an area of the world with no contact to the modern world. I mean look how much attention she got for her fucking facebook messages, this is gonna be ridiculous. Every single day she is going to make a nonsensical statement that is a jab at dems and liberals for not being real people. Then on the following show she will probably be defending her remarks with a handful of references to trig, and complaining about sully. If I have listen to her fucking story about how she thought about aborting trig but didn’t because she isn’t liberal I’m gonna become uncontrollably violent.

  19. 19.

    zed

    At the end of the campaign, my father predicted she’d go on to be a talk radio host. Not there yet, but this is setting the stage to be sure. Amazing how predictable the GOP is.

  20. 20.

    Brian J

    I think one thing is pretty certain: the editors at any of Murdoch’s papers are breathing a huge sigh of relief now that they won’t have to edit any sort of column from Palin. Can you imagine being the poor bastard who has to meet with her to try to salvage her insane ramblings?

  21. 21.

    Michael D.

    Fox News has not appeared on my television in nearly 7 years. I have the parental controls set so that if I accidentally go to that channel, I’ll need tp punch in a passcode (that I don’t even remember.)

    Not that this is a problem. I only watch HD, and Fox News doesn’t broadcast in HD (at least not on Comcast in Atlanta – so I would rarely be down in the 2-digit channels anyway.

    They can have Sarah Palin. The longer she spends there, the shorter the amount of time she’ll spend anywhere else where I can actually see her.

  23. 23.

    Zifnab

    @handy: Better, in a way. At least they were hired for being professional media-savvy shills. They’ve all got extensive media backgrounds and a well-honed performance.

    Sticking Princess Sarah on her own show when she can’t make it through a Katie Couric interview – a pedantic and scripted event if ever there was one – should be good times for all. I look forward to hearing how FOX News producers made poor Palin look bad. And I can’t wait to find out if she uses a teleprompter.

  27. 27.

    Zam

    I have the parental controls set so that if I accidentally go to that channel, I’ll need tp punch in a passcode (that I don’t even remember.)

    That is so full of win.

    I myself never watch Fox, but am seriously worried with how much attention her show will get throughout the media. If her facebook is any indication all of cable news and at least 80% of print media will be all Palin all the time.

  28. 28.

    SpotWeld

    Okay.. let’s boil down the facts. Agree or not, Palin was the Gov of AK and the GOP canidate for VP. Therefore she probably does have opinion relevant to a good range of topics. (i.e. Polical decision driven by events in AK, or VP presidential campaigns. )

    But for the most part, who cares! I have to admit though, this is the same media culture that keeps dredging up Newt G. as somehow relevant and that sits there and blinks when the most insane utterances are dropped by polticians.

    I’d be okay with Palin if I had any hope that there would be a commentator who would at some point say “Now Ms. Palin, could you explain what you mean by that.” or “Ms. Palin I’m sorry, you’re entitled to your opinion, but the facts just of the matter are very much different.”

    Fact people, if you’re going to shop out your opinion to hacks please, please be rock solid on the facts.

  29. 29.

    scav

    @Zifnab: come come, I don’t think our random word generators are truly up to it yet.

    Do not Mox!
    Fox on Fox Pops Co##
    Got Rox?
    Tox Box!

    [help, I need an intervention]

  30. 30.

    Chad N Freude

    @Zifnab: She’s not going to do this as a solo act. She’ll have at least one, maybe two or three, veteran Fox anchors/commentators to support her. No Couric-ing allowed.

  31. 31.

    Linkmeister

    On the bright side, one more person has now gotten a job in this economy! It’s part-time, so she’ll be considered underemployed for U6 purposes, but still.

    Won’t you all think of her children?

  33. 33.

    handy

    @Zifnab:

    I think it really depends on how they use her. And really, people don’t give her enough credit for her ability to babble nonsense but in a way that doesn’t sound crazy. Her delivery is actually quite good (no really–just block out the content of her words and I think you’d see what I’m getting at). In the end, she’ll get the viewers.

  34. 34.

    Daddy-O

    Don’t worry…

    She’ll quit this FOX show, before one year.

    And: Don’t worry about her running for President, either. Because, as the last neocon President once said: “Presidentin’s hard.” Especially RUNNING for President, a two-year ordeal for any challenger.

    She’ll never do it, but she’ll keep you guessing as long as she can.

  35. 35.

    scav

    Then again, miss turkey backdrop? This may just be Dog smiling again on his most favored son Jon S.

  36. 36.

    Chad N Freude

    @SpotWeld:

    “Now Ms. Palin, could you explain what you mean by that.” or “Ms. Palin I’m sorry, you’re entitled to your opinion, but the facts just of the matter are very much different.”

    There won’t be any of this. See @Chad N Freude:

  39. 39.

    Daddy-O

    Here’s a fact, Spotweld:

    Sarah Palin is HOT. She is EYE CANDY, especially to Tea Baggers and base Republicans.

    So she’s qualified. At least, she’s as qualified as Dana Perino.

  40. 40.

    DonBelacquaDelPurgatorio

    Sarah Palin is now the peer of Greta Van Susteren.

    While I love this idea, because it is so fucking cheesy and delicious in its cheesy deliciousness and delicious cheesiness, I haz sad.

    Sad, because I don’t think the exposure she will get will help her become the GOP nominee for president in 2012, and I was so looking forward to that.

  44. 44.

    Pasquinade

    Maybe Sarah Palin and Ann Coulter can share a commentary spot on those foreskin and anal bombs.

  46. 46.

    jrg

    Fox should hire her on for the “The 1/2 Hour News Hour”, but tell her that it’s a full hour. That way they will still get enough footage when she quits 25 minutes in.

  47. 47.

    Zam

    So now that I’ve calmed down a little, I see that this isn’t even a full time thing or even a weekly gig. It’s looks like it’s gonna be whenever the hell she feels like it. Can she go full out on anything besides insinuating democrats are terrorists and hate special needs babies?

  48. 48.

    Northern Observer

    I think it is great news because it nails her politically coffin shut a little tighter. It is ok for pols to have been media personalities in the distant past, but recent media figures are not well percieved as aspirants to President.

  49. 49.

    nightshift66

    DougJ,
    I disagree with your premise that this, or anything Ms. Palin does, merits discussion.

  52. 52.

    JGabriel

    handy:

    [Palin’s] delivery is actually quite good (no really—just block out the content of her words and I think you’d see what I’m getting at).

    That she has moderately large-ish breasts?

    .

  54. 54.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    Why is everybody looking at the downside? I’m thinking that her show on Nov 3rd, 2012 when she has to talk about current politics right after teh Kenyan Menace pulls off another hitjob on the GOP is going to be dvr material for the ages. It will be right up there with Karl Rove telling Brit Hume that McCain has to win Ohio right before FOX called Ohio for Obama on election night 2008.

  55. 55.

    NickM

    I mean look how much attention she got for her fucking facebook messages, this is gonna be ridiculous. Every single day she is going to make a nonsensical statement that is a jab at dems and liberals for not being real people. Then on the following show she will probably be defending her remarks with a handful of references to trig, and complaining about sully.

    Maybe this will backfire. After awhile, maybe even the Villagers will get tired of barking on her command, and find something new to do. Yes, the nutters will continue to watch, but maybe the rest of us won’t be made to pay attention to her antics. Or is that wishful thinking? (SATSQ candidate?)

  56. 56.

    Zam

    @Mike E: Lol, how much you wanna be that she only puts together an episode every time someone says something she takes as an insult. It will likely end up her forum for attacking Levi.

  58. 58.

    JGabriel

    @DonBelacquaDelPurgatorio:

    Sarah Palin is now the peer of Greta Van Susteren.

    I wonder if Van Susteren, Coulter, Ingraham, et. al., ever look at Palin’s success and think, “Jesus, why did I bother with getting the law degree? She’s not even blonde.”

    .

  59. 59.

    Zam

    @NickM: I desperately want to think they will get tired, but after spending days discussing her tweets and facebook posts it seems unlikely.

  62. 62.

    Chris

    Damnnnnn Jimi is turnin over in his grave!!! LOL Man you guys been turnin up your game with these blog post names. DougJ FTW!

  67. 67.

    Joshua Norton

    Fox News recently told me that 234% of the country hated Obama.

    Then it tried to sell me a camo snuggie.

  68. 68.

    Zifnab

    @handy:

    Her delivery is actually quite good (no really—just block out the content of her words and I think you’d see what I’m getting at).

    Also.

  69. 69.

    Poopyman

    She probably realized that everything she says is broadcast on Fox anyway, and -asked- demanded to be paid for it.

    Or, maybe she just decided to go back to sports reporting. She is going to Fox Sports, right?

    Right?

  70. 70.

    Brachiator

    I’m sick of Palin, but given the nature of this blog, this probably merits some discussion.

    Could be worse. NBC could have put her on to replace Leno.

    Sarah Palin is now the peer of Greta Van Susteren.

    Is this some kind of reference to “water sports?”

  73. 73.

    Pasquinade

    Authors of “Game Change,” book says the stress of vaulting onto the national stage caused Palin to have wild mood swings.

    “One minute, Palin would be her perky self; the next she would fall into a strange blue funk,” the authors write.

    The morning of her ill-fated CBS interview with Katie Couric, Palin – “her eyes glassy and dead” – was unresponsive to attempts to prep her as she was being made up.

    “As they were about to set off to meet Couric, Palin announced ‘I hate this makeup’ – smearing it off her face, messing up her hair, complaining she looked fat,” the book relates.

    Palin went on to give answers to Couric that were so incoherent the interview permanently damaged her.

    Palin went into a tailspin. She stopped eating or sleeping, and drank only a half a can of diet soda a day, recounts the book written by John Heilemann of New York magazine and Mark Halperin of Time magazine.

    “When her aides tried to quiz her she would routinely shut down – chin on her chest, arms folded, eyes cast to the floor, speechless and motionless, lost in what those around her described as a kind of catatonic stupor,” the book says.

    “If I had known everything I know now, I would not have done this,” the book quotes Palin as saying.

    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2010/01/11/2010-01-11_new_book_game_change_sarah_palin_believed_.html

  75. 75.

    licensed to kill time

    @Darryl: I mainly remember him from Wayne’s World and as Church Lady on the old SNL; he also did a good George H.W. Bush impression.

    Whenever you see a clip of Palin on Fox (you know it’s inevitable) just imagine good ol’ boys all over ‘Murka doing the Foxy Lady Schwing and you’ll feel much better. At least I will.

  76. 76.

    Zam

    @Mike E: If you mean for divorce, I’ll let you have it. I just know she would use the show as a place to play out the divorce in public. Going on daily to attack him for being an evil liberal who hates women.

  77. 77.

    geg6

    I dunno. I think this might get me to tune into FOXNews for the very first time.

    Well, that might be an exaggeration.

    Let’s try this again…

    I dunno. I think I’ll be watching the clips on C&L the next morning and laughing my ass off at whatever stupid shit spills from her dead brain.

    Yes. That’s more like it.

  78. 78.

    Joshua Norton

    Authors of “Game Change,” book says the stress of vaulting onto the national stage caused Palin to have wild mood swings.

    Well that and the whole manic depressive thing she has going for her. C’mon Sarah – don’t bogart all the lithium.

  81. 81.

    Ash Can

    Palin and Fox are a perfect fit. I’m just surprised it didn’t happen sooner. Maybe it just took this long for Palin or her agent to extort a big enough paycheck out of the Fox brass.

    I’m sure her gig will involve little more than her reading prepared (and therefore lucid) material off a teleprompter. I hope, though, that there will be at least a little bit of extemporaneous speech. I can just imagine the Fox studio idiots asking her a question about the essay she just read and then forcing themselves to smile and nod through three straight minutes of “Well that’s because you and I, we’re real Americans, just like our great President George Bush was, and we don’t let liberals tear us down with their Ivy League resumes of just facts and no values like working class Main Street and the private sector and then we have to be always vigilant against our enemies who just want to blow up our airplanes and are always watching our every move and as my own family reflects are in our very homes at any given time and it just shows the pure evil of socialism. Too. Also.”

  84. 84.

    maus

    Can we as progressives (or at least as non-idiotconservatives) band together and ignore her?

    Nothing would drive her more angry than to not have the extra marketshare from us watching her “to see what she says next” and to not have anyone care about or report on what she’s saying.

    Sure, the media’s going to repeat everything she says as if we care, but at least we can turn it off whenever her mug comes on screen.

  85. 85.

    Ash Can

    @nightshift66:

    I disagree with your premise that this, or anything Ms. Palin does, merits discussion.

    You have a point. Meriting mockery, on the other hand…

    @matoko_chan:

    that is a shrinking demographic.

    In more ways than one, I’m sure.

  86. 86.

    geg6

    @Joshua Norton:

    Well that and the whole manic depressive thing she has going for her.

    As someone of about the same general age as Sarah Serendipity, I’m gonna venture that menopause might also be part of the problem if we’re talking mood swings.

    As someone whose brother has bipolar disorder, let me be the first to tell you that he is waaaaaaaaaaay more rational most of the time than Sarah is all the time.

  87. 87.

    Joshua Norton

    @maus: I can’t even find Fox News on my cable remote. I removed it years ago. What ever she says will be rebroadcast ad nauseum on the “liberal” talk shows. In fact, wingnutz get more coverage on those shows than they get on Fox in real time. It drives me bughouse.

  88. 88.

    JGabriel

    Palin’s official statement:

    “I am thrilled to be joining the great talent and management team at FOX News. It’s wonderful to be part of a place that so values fair and balanced news,” Palin said in the release.

    The report adds:

    [Palin] will also host a show called “Real American Stories,” which Fox describes as “a series exploring inspirational real-life tales of overcoming adversity throughout the American landscape that will debut in 2010.”

    Great, Palin is bringing back the offensive “Real America” rhetoric. The show sounds like a cross between “Touched by an Angel” and “Triumph of the Will”.

    Just what America needs: a two-digit IQ Riefenstahl.

    .

  90. 90.

    Demo Woman

    Sarah told Steve Schmidt that it was God’s plan for her to run for VP. Obviously, God wanted her to lose also.
    I guess it’s God’s plan for her to become a contributor to Fox news. Fox news won’t unleash her though. They will not allow her to answer questions and she can only comment on prepared scripts.
    God works in mysterious ways.

  91. 91.

    Joshua Norton

    I am thrilled to be joining the great talent and management team at FOX News.

    Wait. Management? She’s going to be running things? Oh please make it so. Murdock just isn’t losing money fast enough.

  92. 92.

    Egypt Steve

    This is actually excellent news. Put her on teevee and tape the drivel tsunami. The evidence of clinical insanity will be undeniable. I am sure John Stewart is secretly behind this, because he will be able to lay off two or three writers and just run Palin clips for half of his freakin show.

  93. 93.

    FlipYrWhig

    Have you guys seen the old video of Palin (as Sarah Heath) doing the sports report on Anchorage TV? She does a lot of the same stuff for which she has become famous in politics, including really obvious bullshitting when she doesn’t know the answer to something (specifically, in the clip I saw, college basketball).

  95. 95.

    Punchy

    Breaking: Mark MacGuire just admitted to taking steroids. Yup, I’m about as surprised as a moose in a Dairy Queen buying Dilly Bars.

  96. 96.

    FlipYrWhig

    @JGabriel:

    “Real American Stories,” which Fox describes as “a series exploring inspirational real-life tales of overcoming adversity

    Has anyone else seen that magazine _Guideposts_?

  98. 98.

    licensed to kill time

    __

    Great, Palin is bringing back the offensive “Real America” rhetoric.

    Don’t forget Common Sense Conservatism. Sarah could be the Common Sense Conservative Crone on Fox.

  99. 99.

    Wendy

    @EgyptSteve, you read my mind. I can’t wait to see the Daily Show tonite!

    “drivel tsunami”…love it!

  100. 100.

    Davis X. Machina

    Sarah told Steve Schmidt that it was God’s plan for her to run for VP. Obviously, God wanted her to lose also.

    God wanted her to lose, but to cover the spread.

    Which she failed to do.

  101. 101.

    jl

    @Punchy: I have little mental list of die-hard McGwire supporters, and also a mental list of their excuses.

    I will revisit the issue with them, in a very appropriate, nonconfrontational and sensitive way (Dude, were YOU totally totally totally PWNED! TO THE MAX! or What?, you know, something low-key and understanding like that)

  104. 104.

    GregB

    Maybe the first question that can be posed to Fux News latest media darling.

    Mrs. Palin, you recently called Levi Johnston a porn star for his nude modeling photo shoot in Playgirl Magazine.

    Do you think that your Republican Party has a porn star running for the US Senate in Massachusetts because that candidate, Scott Brown, posed nude in Cosmpolitan Magazine.

    Discuss.

    -G

  108. 108.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Palin is no Roxxxxy.

    So many questions.

    “She can’t vacuum, she can’t cook but she can do almost anything else if you know what I mean,” Douglas Hines

    Why yes, I think we do.

  109. 109.

    Pasquinade

    “In the days leading up to an interview with ABC News’ Charlie Gibson, aides were worried with Ms. Palin’s grasp of facts. She couldn’t explain why North and South Korea were separate nations and she did not know what the Federal Reserve did. She also said she believed Saddam Hussein attacked the United States on Sept. 11, 2001.”

    Where’d they find her? Well, on the Internet, as it happens. “McCain’s campaign manager, Rick Davis, spotted Sarah Palin while searching the Internet for possible female vice presidential candidates.”

    http://voices.washingtonpost.com/achenblog/2010/01/inside_sarah_palins_brain.html?wprss=achenblog

  111. 111.

    geg6

    @jl:

    I have little mental list of die-hard McGwire supporters, and also a mental list of their excuses.

    Ha! Me, too! I am also looking forward with relish to rubbing their noses in this. Especially my ex. Asshole.

  114. 114.

    Sly

    “Her foreign policy tutors are literally taking her through, ‘This is World War I, this is World War II, this is the Korean War. This is the how the Cold War worked.’ Steve Schmidt had gone to them and said, ‘She knows nothing,'” Heilemann told Cooper. “A week later, after the convention was over, she still didn’t really understand why there was a North Korea and a South Korea. She was still regularly saying that Saddam Hussein had been behind 9/11. And, literally, the next day her son was about to ship off to Iraq. And when they asked her who her son was going to fight, she couldn’t explain that.”

    This needs to be McCain’s epitaph.

  116. 116.

    bob h

    You have to hand it to her: she has parlayed a totally empty head and only slightly above average looks into serious $.

    I see this as a good thing; the more this preposterous woman stays in the public eye, the more ridiculous the Republicans look.

  117. 117.

    valdivia

    I am hoping her time at Fox will give us enough tape to hang her if she ever decides to run.

  118. 118.

    geg6

    @bob h:

    I’m thinking of trying to get a gig like this on FOX. I, too, am a well-preserved middle aged woman with slightly above average looks (or so I’ve been told). I can play dumb if the money is right and I have enough teabaggers around me here in Western PA to be able to hit all the right notes to tickle their fancies. Plus, my boobs are waaaaaaaaaaay bigger and I’ve never had ANY kids, let alone 5.

    Think I have a shot?

  119. 119.

    Ash Can

    @Sly: It should be the epitaph of the entire party. From beginning to end, no one anywhere in that campaign exhibited any common sense, any willingness to do homework or take responsibility, or even a modicum of respect for either the political process or the voters. There’s plenty of blame to go around.

  121. 121.

    geg6

    @Ash Can:

    What I found most astonishing in the 60 Minutes segment last night was Schmidt. He acted all indignant and outraged like he got taken or something. And seemed to feel people will agree with him and feel sorry for poor ol’ Steve.

    He came off looking like an incompetent idiot who didn’t do his homework. Which, of course, he is.

  122. 122.

    Punchy

    I’m thinking of trying to get a gig like this on FOX. I, too, am a well-preserved middle aged woman with slightly above average looks (or so I’ve been told). I can play dumb if the money is right and I have enough teabaggers around me here in Western PA to be able to hit all the right notes to tickle their fancies. Plus, my boobs are waaaaaaaaaaay bigger and I’ve never had ANY kids, let alone 5.
    ……………
    Think I have a shot?

    I think we need pictures.

  124. 124.

    Leelee for Obama

    Breaking: Mark MacGuire just admitted to taking steroids. Yup, I’m about as surprised as a moose in a Dairy Queen buying Dilly Bars.

    @Punchy: Yeah, I just now recovered enough from my shock to see if you guys had heard the REAL NEWS! Is nothing sacred? Cripes, the next thing they’ll be telling me is that nice young golfer from Florida has been cheating on his wife! Oh, wait…..

  125. 125.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    @Ash Can:

    There’s plenty of blame to go around.

    It is worth remembering that if only 3.5% of the voters who actually turned out for the election had choosen R instead of choosing D, there would be a lot more than just blame going around right now.

  128. 128.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @geg6:

    Think I have a shot?

    don’t know. But your resume is intriguing. But could stand a little mo detail.

  129. 129.

    Violet

    Breaking: Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol. Now that’s real news.

    Sarah Palin….yeah right she’ll be “hosting a series” from time to time. She’ll just do a voiceover or read what she’s given. Sarah doesn’t do work.

  130. 130.

    asiangrrlMN

    @geg6: I was thinking of it, too. I’m younger, Asian, and I have bigger boobs, too. Plus, I have tattoos and no kids, so I can be considered ‘wild’. And, I can be pretty damn persuasive when I talk. Maybe you and I could pair up and do a topless segment. What says you?

  132. 132.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @Violet:

    Breaking: Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol

    Oh Drat!! Just when I was gettin’ over Kate and what’s the fuck his name breaking up. What’s next. Bringing back Leno?

    Simon Cowell on Survivor might mend me broke heart.

  134. 134.

    Joshua Norton

    Mark MacGuire just admitted to taking steroids.

    A former GF told me that you could tell McGwire was on steroids because he had a “cute bubble butt”. Congress should have called on her to testify. She could have cleared it all up for them in no time.

  136. 136.

    wasabi gasp

    If this is God’s plan, it’s pretty fucking good. America gets a flat on the desolate highway and what does he do, give us a magic hippie and a never ending can of fix-a-flat? Nope. He sends a machine gun and a unicycle to figure this shit out for ourselves. LOL, Lord.

  137. 137.

    licensed to kill time

    @Pasquinade:

    The other thing from this link is the description of the emergency financial meeting McCain “called” during the campaign and Obama’s mastery of said meeting:

    One Republican in the room mused silent, If you closed your eyes and changed everyones’ voices, you would have thought Obama was the president of the United States. [p. 388]
    __
    … Bush was dumbfounded by McCain’s behavior. He’d forced Bush to hold a meeting that the president saw as pointless — and then sat there like a bump on a log. Unconstructive, thought Bush. Unclear. Ineffectual. (my emphasis) [p. 389]

    Jeez, if Bush was thinking like that…

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ:

    It is worth remembering that if only 3.5% of the voters who actually turned out for the election had choosen R instead of choosing D, there would be a lot more than just blame going around right now.

    …so screwed, we would be.

  138. 138.

    Violet

    @General Winfield Stuck: They’d have to pay Simon Cowell $100 million to get him on Survivor. And he still wouldn’t do it. He’s bringing “The X Factor” to the US. He owns the show, so even more money for him.

    And I know, OMG! American Idol! John and Kate! Late night wars! Look, shiny objects! But that’s what people really seem to be interested in.

  140. 140.

    geg6

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I think we should send them a treatment and ask for a meeting. If no one else, I’m guessing we’d pull in large viewing audience of the male BJers.

  141. 141.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    I’m not getting excited about the pearls of dimdom she’ll spit everywhere because I doubt the show will make it to production. But I L-O-V-E the idea of this woman driving everyone at Faux News up a wall.

    “McCain’s campaign manager, Rick Davis, spotted Sarah Palin while searching the Internet for possible female vice presidential candidates.”

    Or at least that’s what he told his wife when she walked in on him. He also explained he had his pants off because he was hot.

  142. 142.

    OniHanzo

    She couldn’t possibly be safer from the slings and arrows of reality working at Fox News. ‘Bout as insulating and protective as it gets.

    Wingnut welfare at its finest.

  145. 145.

    asiangrrlMN

    @geg6: And some of the female BJers, too. Seriously. “Two liberal chicks topless dishing today’s politics.” Who wouldn’t want to watch it? It can be called, Top to Bottom. And, I can see Canada from my house. That has to be a bonus, right?

    @MikeJ: Or not so subtly. We’ll see what FOX has to say about it.

    @JGabriel: I LOVE it! You’re hired as the publicity guy!

  146. 146.

    JGabriel

    geg6:

    I, too, am a well-preserved middle aged woman with slightly above average looks (or so I’ve been told). … Plus, my boobs are waaaaaaaaaaay bigger …

    asiangrrlMN:

    I’m younger, Asian, and I have bigger boobs, too.

    I predict a Balloon Juice charity calendar, followed by a Hollywood comedy based on the making of the calendar, to be entitled, Juice Balloons.

    .

  149. 149.

    Darryl

    I am hoping her time at Fox will give us enough tape to hang her if she ever decides to run.

    She’s never going to run. She likes the adoration, and money, but not actual work.

  151. 151.

    asiangrrlMN

    @jeffreyw: Sure! The more the merrier. Er….

    And, geg6 and I will need a photographer for the mock-ups. Anybody interested?

    @Darryl: I completely agree. Running for prez is hard fucking work. Plus, she would actually have to leave the comfy confines of her secure little world, and, you know, actually say something of substance. No fucking way.

  152. 152.

    geg6

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I can see Canada from my house. That has to be a bonus, right?

    I can see West Virginia AND Ohio from mine. Ohio doesn’t mean much in this context, but John Cole should be afraid. Very, very afraid.

    Top to Bottom…I like it.

  153. 153.

    asiangrrlMN

    @geg6: You can see Cole mopping his bathroom nekkid from your house? PICTURES! Damn. We really should send in a treatment. I bet we would at least get a response. I mean, we’re topical and topless. We’re from different generations and races and situations. It would be hot!

    Plus, we’re liberals, which means that we actually know how to be funny and snarky. We can invite different BJers onto the show every week. Maybe we should send it to Comedy Central!

  154. 154.

    Keith G

    I am so fucking happy. Every once in a while I come across something that is so funny, that is washes away all worry and I am left with a warm glow.

    I noted that the daily caller had a bit about Ezra Klein. So despite my desire not to give Carlson any clicks, I checked it out. Ezra had a few sentences giving a rational and airtight defense of Reid. I knew the comment section would be good so I clicked through and was immediately rewarded.

    How embarassing for Mr. Klein, our presidents family tree is not or very little of African American, he is 50%white from his mom, and 44% arabic from his dad, hence his name is arabic. Are Arabic people now going to be called African American?

    How do people this fucking stupid, remember to breathe?

    Anyway, I am still laughing.

  156. 156.

    Chad N Freude

    This from the Tweets:

    So You Think You Can Dunce.

    (Love it, wish I’d thought of it.)

  157. 157.

    Darryl

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Plus, we’re liberals, which means that we actually know how to be funny and snarky.

    It’s little-remembered, but Fox News tried to do a Daily Show ripoff. It was simply terrible and was cancelled somewhere around a dozen episodes.

  158. 158.

    JGabriel

    Darryl:

    [Palin’s] never going to run. She likes the adoration, and money, but not actual work.

    Palin does seem to have intensely disliked the campaign trail. I can’t really imagine her running again either.

    .

  159. 159.

    Dork

    I’m guessing we’d pull in large viewing audience of the male BJers.

    Raises hand excitedly, Horshack-style.

  160. 160.

    J. Michael Neal

    @geg6:

    Damn. You beat me to it. Does this mean he purjured himself in front of Congress?

    No. No offense, but people really need to pay more attention if they are going to criticize others for defending him. McGwire very studiously avoided answering the question when it was asked of him. His response was, “I’m not here to talk about the past.” Ergo, there’s nothing that even vaguely resembles perjury. Had a Congressman wanted to pin him down, and then held him in contempt for refusing to answer, then maybe. Of course, I thought Congress holding hearings on the matter was ridiculous to begin with.

    Then again, I also think that the whole controversy is ridiculous. The impulse to be outraged about a generation of players because some of them took steroids while venerating a generation of players (like Mantle and Aaron), almost all of whom took amphetamines, is beyond dumb. If you are morally offended by illegal, unhealthy, performance enhancing drugs, great, but have the honesty to be morally outraged by all of them. Don’t pick and choose.

    As for me, I’m all in favor of doing what we can to get rid of them, though I oppose going all WADA on the subject and demanding that athletes give up all right to privacy. I just also think that baseball has a very long tradition of doing whatever it takes to get an edge, and I’m not going to put steroids into the category of things that mean we should start rejecting someone’s accomplishments or shunning them.

    And no NFL fan should even open their mouth on the subject, unless they really think that there are that many 320 lb men in the world who can run a 5.0 second 40-yard dash on natural body chemistry.

  162. 162.

    tavella

    Palin won’t end up in talk radio; that actually requires work. Coming up with something to talk about for an hour every day in a reasonably compelling manner is difficult. Talk show hostess, or more likely some kind of roundtable spot where others can shore up her weaknesses is more likely.

  163. 163.

    S. cerevisiae

    OK, y’all are talking about definite must see TV, much more entertaining than anything on Faux.

    Put the topless hot political hour on Sunday after the bobbleheads and before the football pregame. Ratings gold!

  164. 164.

    Punchy

    And no NFL fan should even open their mouth on the subject, unless they really think that there are that many 320 lb men in the world who can run a 5.0 second 40-yard dash on natural body chemistry.

    They drug test in the NFL. Are you really trying to tell us that hundreds of O and D linemen can ALL beat the tests? Gimmie a fuckin break.

  167. 167.

    J. Michael Neal

    @Punchy:

    They drug test in the NFL. Are you really trying to tell us that hundreds of O and D linemen can ALL beat the tests? Gimmie a fuckin break.

    Not all of them. Shawn Merriman got busted. So do others, on occasion. In general, though, I suspect that most of them do get away with it. The same is true in a number of Olympic sports, too.

    Do you really think that there are that many human beings that can naturally get that large and that fast?

  169. 169.

    JGabriel

    Dork:

    Raises hand excitedly, Horshack-style.

    Dude, you’re dating yourself. I’m pretty sure asianGrrrl, ferinstance, is too young to catch that reference to mid-70’s sitcom Welcome Back, Kotter.

    Aw, fuck. Now I’ve dated myself.

    .

  174. 174.

    Mike Kay

    @JGabriel:

    Palin does seem to have intensely disliked the campaign trail. I can’t really imagine her running again either.

    Being confronted with her gross knowledge deficit during the debate prep must have been a bitter come down.

    Like when Miss Teen South Carolina was asked about maps, and she embarrassed herself beyond belief. Here was Palin who had enormously inflated ego, based of her looks, being deflated in the most humiliating fashion.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

  176. 176.

    Punchy

    Do you really think that there are that many human beings that can naturally get that large and that fast?

    Yes, that’s why they’re paid a ton of money.

    [32 (teams) x 20 lineman per team (complete guess)] / 300 million = 0.000213% of the population. So yes, I think there enough of those freakily large, fast peeps naturally. Literally, better than 1 in a half-million

  177. 177.

    lizzy

    I’ve been listening to all the hysteria about Harry Reid’s remark regarding Obama since Saturday. Does anyone think for one minute that had Sarah looked and talked like Janet Napalitano that McCain would have chosen her??? Seriously people…..

  178. 178.

    Violet

    Sarah Palin wants a job where she gets a title, people worship her and wait on her, she does virtually no work and she keeps herself in the public eye just enough to keep her name out there and keep her fans asking for more.

    So whatever her new role at Fox is, the above is how she’ll fit in and what she’ll do. The scary thing is, that’s exactly how she’d treat the job of President. Forget the working part. She’d just show up and expect her staff to have done all the work.

  180. 180.

    Pasquinade

    @Violet

    You’ve defined Palin exactly.

    When she was mayor of Wasilla – a town of 6,000 people – she hired an administrator to do the work for about $50,000/year.

  181. 181.

    J. Michael Neal

    @Punchy: All I can say is that your faith in the ability of the NFL’s drug testers is very touching. Naive as all fucking hell, but touching.

  182. 182.

    0whole1

    @tavella:

    Either what you said, or something that allows herself to read off a teleprompter like a meat puppet.

    Apologies. *Queen* of the meat puppets.

    So….envision a fireside chat-type situation, alternating between Morena Baccarin-in-V “everything in pleasant” stylin’s, and Hitler addressing the mob.

    A *hot* Hitler.

    …..Um…..

    Nevermind.

  183. 183.

    Comrade Mary

    Oh, God. They were just covering this on Hardball, which prompted this priceless Tweetyism:

    “She can’t be a pundit! She doesn’t know anything!”

    It doesn’t seem to have hindered his career, has it? (OK, to be fair, he knows a few things, like what appeasement is and isn’t.)

  184. 184.

    0whole1

    @JGabriel:

    > I predict a Balloon Juice charity calendar, followed by a Hollywood comedy based on the making of the calendar, to be entitled, Juice Balloons.

    Um….yes? Twice?

  185. 185.

    Shawn in ShowMe

    And no NFL fan should even open their mouth on the subject, unless they really think that there are that many 320 lb men in the world who can run a 5.0 second 40-yard dash on natural body chemistry.

    Even with help, be it supplements or illegal substances, there ain’t that many 320 lb men in the world who can run a 5.0 second 40-yard dash — maybe a dozen. Out of a population of 6.5 billion, that’s practically none.

  187. 187.

    Paris

    “Sarah Palin to Contribute to Fox News” should concern Michele Malkin or Coulter. They can’t keep all of them. Someone needs to go. She probably would be a god Fox and Friends host, at least until she quits.

  190. 190.

    maus

    @Paris: Fox gets enough viewers that it can do what it wants…

    until Comcast decides to turn MSNBC into a basic cable channel and destroys Fox, ratingswise. Tons of bars and establishments leave Fox on because of its availability.

    But even still, it wouldn’t be the first time Fox propped up their more effective propaganda wings at the expense of profitability.

  192. 192.

    john b

    might she not just be a “special political correspondent” or somesuch? brought in to do coverage of elections etc. (or whenever it’s convenient for her to be on, really)

  195. 195.

    Brachiator

    @Violet:

    Breaking: Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol. Now that’s real news.

    I’d pay good money to see Cowell as a Fox commentator. The snark would burn the house down.

  196. 196.

    keestadoll

    It is my sincerest wish that we, the august BJ commentariat, NOT contribute to Fox’s/O’Reilly’s (her premiere show on 1/12)/PigVommit Fox Opinion Show X’s ratings and ad dollars by watching her spew her Campbell’s Chunky Soup verbal bilge. If you must watch (since I get the car crash guilty pleasure endemic to we, United States Americans), catch the highlight footage that will surely be posted and refreshed hourly on Kos.

    So there.

  197. 197.

    mai naem

    I will tune in to Fox for Sarah, a couple of times anyway. Also too, is Tina Fey going to have to come back to SNL to do Princess Sarah skits?
    Can’t wait till Bill Kristol starts talking about Yemen and she makes a comment about Steve Schmidt not being a Yes Man. This just has massive fail written all over it. I mean hell this idiot is the daughter of a HS Science teacher and she was making snarky comments about government funded fruit fly research. Sara thought that when the sales tax revenue increased in Wasilla because of increase in population,sales etc. , that the sales tax rate had increased.
    Wonder how much of a wardrobe allowance the grifter’s going to get from Faux?

  198. 198.

    Kobie

    So basically, Caribou Barbie gets two-plus years of campaign advertising before she announces her candidacy.

  200. 200.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Okay, guys? We’re 200 posts in; I’ve managed to read through about 75 of them but at this point I am sobbing with laughter and am not sure I can manage the remaining 125. Could some nice person just summarize #s 76-200, or alternatively select the finest be-sure-not-to-miss-this-one for me? Because srsly I don’t think I can get through the evening otherwise. Kthxbai.

  201. 201.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I just have to say, Melissa Harris-Lacewell is awesome. She’s on Countdown (again Lawrence O’Donnell is subbing for Keith, be still my heart).

  205. 205.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Fair warning, I’m up to #140 now and I’m still weeping with mirth. This thread is Keeper Win.

  208. 208.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Whew! (Mops brow.) Finally made it through all the comments, but jeez, I don’t think I’ve LOL’d so much at a single thread since the Night of the Laughing Helicopters.

  210. 210.

    Nutella

    NYT says Palin ‘retired as the governor of Alaska’.

    NYT lies.

    But I’m surprised it took so long to get this deal with Fox done. I thought it was already in the bag when she quit. Maybe she’s been trying for higher pay.

  211. 211.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Nutella (btw, what happened to the toast?)

    Maybe she’s been trying for higher pay.

    I’ve been trying (okay, I haven’t really been trying very hard) to find out what Fox is paying her for this details-as-yet-unspecified gig. Has anyone heard the $$ terms of her Foxtract?

  217. 217.

    Platonicspoof

    On the right hand side of the Media Decoder page it lists five Recent Posts.
    The comment numbers at this point for the four not-Palin posts are six, two, twenty and seven.

    Comments for the Palin joins Fox entertainment were turned off at
    six hundred ninety seven.

    Even though, e.g., 95% of the first 25 comments for the NYT article were negative (that’s as far as I’m reading), Fox won’t care if people laugh at her, her contribution will be to bring in the circus freak / anti-circus freak crowds.

  218. 218.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Nutella: My apologies. I just assumed . . . and you know what they say about that . . . .

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