Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Dear elected officials: Trump is temporary, dishonor is forever.

They are not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

The gop is a fucking disgrace.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

Conservatism: there are people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

The “burn-it-down” people are good with that until they become part of the kindling.

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

’Where will you hide, Roberts, the laws all being flat?’

The press swings at every pitch, we don’t have to.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Dumb motherfuckers cannot understand a consequence that most 4 year olds have fully sorted out.

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

Books are my comfort food!

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

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Reader Interactions

121Comments

  2. 2.

    robertdsc

    Forgive me if this has already been answered, but are you home now? Where are you posting from?

  3. 3.

    Nicole

    Yay! A Literal Version I haven’t seen! Thanks for posting that, J. One can only watch the Air Supply one so many times.

  4. 4.

    IanY77

    But I haven’t done anything to you…..except slaughter Geth by the metric tonne, engage in intergalactic politics and intrigue, and cruise around the galaxy in a badass spaceship.

    Why would you hate me for that?

    Seriously, I love this game waaaay better that Dragon Age. DAO was a greater technical achievement, but I love the setting and simplicity of ME2. I really don’t care if my character has a higher dexterity or charisma rating. I know what this about as worn a cliche as there is, but it really is like playing a movie. I wonder if it physically hurts the staff at Bioware to be so damn good at what they do. Does the awesome leak out of their ears? Do they lose some of it when they poop? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

  5. 5.

    Blue Neponset

    I wept that I had no Dr. Pepper promo code, until I met a man who couldn’t play ME2.

    Would a gamepad help John? Not sure what kind of movement you have but you might be able to jury rig a gamepad and a mouse.

  6. 6.

    J.W. Hamner

    Well… uh… honestly, it’s totally… uhm… overrated. Yeah. You shouldn’t feel bad about missing it it at all.

    So, I’ll be back after some morning Mass… Mass… uhm.. Massachusetts taxes! Yes! Going to get an early start this year.

  11. 11.

    mr. whipple

    @robertdsc: Coming to you live from the la-z-boy in BJ HQ.

    That’s great! How was the greeting from the kids? They gotta be so happy.

  15. 15.

    dmsilev

    @Alan: Mass Effect 2. Consoles and PC, I believe. Haven’t played it, as I have far too many time-sinks already without needing add another one.

    -dms

  16. 16.

    tripletee

    I hate every one of you playing ME2.

    I was surprised at how graphic the sex scene between Shepard and Wrex was. Oops, spoiler.

  19. 19.

    Ming

    Hi John! Good to think of you back at home. Pfgah. I was trying to link to Abbott and Costello, Who’s on first, but am too ignant. Wish us minions could bring you soup and nice treats…

    Thanks for the bluejay — jeffreyw! nice pic.

  20. 20.

    demo woman

    Nag of the day.. Be careful when you take Lily out because you don’t want to do further damage to your arm… yadda yadda yadda.
    If you get bored you can watch the President’s smack down of the republican party.

  21. 21.

    Joey Maloney

    Here’s an interesting point from a commenter at Larison’s blog:

    The current Republican “leadership” was chosen by the Bush/Cheney administration. They were not looking for leadership that was capable of original thought but individuals who could take orders from the administration without asking any questions. The result is an intellectual vacuum of which Pence is only one example. They are fighting what amounts to a tribal war rather than an ideological war because they are for the most part not smart enough to actually have an ideology.

    I sometimes forget that Republicans aren’t inherently stupid. It’s just that for the past dozen years and more they’re been deliberately selected for that trait.

  22. 22.

    PurpleGirl

    JC — good to hear that you’re home. How are Tunch and Lily? I’ll bet they were happy to see you.

  24. 24.

    Nicole

    Can anyone find a link to video of Erick Son of Erick on the CNN SOTU panel? I read a few days ago in the comments here that he got smacked down fairly hard, but haven’t been able to find video of it. It would make me so happy to watch before I have to go do boring things like sort receipts for taxes.

  28. 28.

    Libby

    Oh I see we’re leaving weather reports. About 24 degrees and sleeting here in the little city in midwestern NC. I’d guess we have about 4 inches of snow in lovely downtown.

  29. 29.

    henqiguai

    Yeah yeah yeah yeah, OT and all that; where’s the love for our host (and enabler). Here – Hey, John Cole; that messed up shoulder thingie, don’t do that any more. Being all allergic to pain and stuff, personally I would advise you stop trying to skate on ice patches with arm loads of dog (I got cats; they on their own).

    Now to business – where’s Dennis G’s blog items and contact info on the front page ? Not that I want to contact him or anything, it’s just a balance thing I got going on.

  30. 30.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    “[Obama] is in a political business and he has to pay attention to not just the substance but the politics.” – Dee Dee Myers

    And that is why I could never be a politician. I do not like the politics. Makes for some interesting times at work.

  31. 31.

    rootless_e

    All the “progressive” and other blog agonizing about Rahm’s proposed congressional schedule is predictable but still mystifying. Why do people imagine that politicians guilelessly reveal their plans and hopes and priorities to every journalist who stumbles along?

  36. 36.

    JohnR

    @J.:

    What, you don’t like Meatloaf?

    @ Joey Maloney:
    “I sometimes forget that Republicans aren’t inherently stupid..”

    No, you were right the first time; all the ones smarter than an eggplant left the party over the past decade.

    And it just started to snow nicely here in lovely Baltimore, “The Paris of Lower Slobovia”

    And ME2@ can wait, John – why not go back and revisit KOTOR for a while? RevanII – now with extra Evil!

  38. 38.

    Brick Oven Bill

    So at the bar last night there was a local TV personality. It turns out that she has a brother who is a professional bowler.

    Rachel, this could be a sign.

  40. 40.

    Mike E

    @Libby:
    I live in the capital city–I’m praying it doesn’t start bringing down the wires. Splodin’ transformers is such a lovely harbinger of Spring here in Dixie, don’t you agree?

  41. 41.

    scarshapedstar

    Don’t hate me, my video card blew up a week ago and now I’m stuck with an old Radeon X1950.

  42. 42.

    Brick Oven Bill

    I have converted at least one. This I know Mike E. But my goal is simply to have lunch. I have excellent references as to the quality of my character.

    This is America, one is to set goals.

  44. 44.

    Gravenstone

    If it’s any consolation, I am apparently too inept to control ME2 on my 360. So I’ll be making the trek into town to pick up a copy of the PC version in hopes I can function better with mouse control. Might as well grab my backlog of comics while I’m there.

    /geek

  46. 46.

    Magic Love Hose

    I didn’t think anything could top the magazine you buy on Omega.

    Then I saw the advertisements for the all-elcor edition of Hamlet.

    Sincere Endorsement: ME2 is awesome. And Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest motherfucker in space.

  47. 47.

    soonergrunt

    I feel for you John. I really do. I’ll think about you today when I fire up ME2 for a couple of hours.

    Who am I kidding, I won’t think about you at all.

    Well, I might think about you, and how much it sucks to be you, not playing ME2.

  49. 49.

    eemom

    here’s a pretty good summation of last night’s 20/20 about the sordid Edwards saga:
    http://www.salon.com/news/john_edwards/index.html?story=/ent/tv/feature/2010/01/30/andrew_young_2020
    I unabashedly admit that I watched it. Takes my mind off everything else that is going on.
    OTOH, the clips of Edwards giving speeches make him look like such an OBVIOUSLY smarmy slimy snake oil peddler that I can’t stop marveling at how I fell for it. I am the proverbial sucker born every minute.

  50. 50.

    Brick Oven Bill

    Personally, I believe in sexual libertarianism Mike E. If I were a good looking woman, surrounded by male colleagues that consisted solely of MSNBC staff and political types, I most surely would be a lesbian as well.

    It’s just a polite invitation to lunch.

  53. 53.

    Mike E

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    I most surely would be a lesbian as well.

    In the words of Jon Stewart, “Go on…”
    ETA You should divert some of that Teabagger money and do your version of the Vagina Monologues.

  54. 54.

    Punchy

    What’s a bigger no-brainer?

    Death?
    Taxes?
    Iowa’s wrestling team winning?
    Shawn White “winning” every event he enters in the X-games? Seriously, this gold medal is more manufactured, fabricated, and pre-ordained than the marketing for “Pants on the Ground” guy.

    My friends were joking about what it would have taken for him to actually lose. Crapping on the half-pipe halfway thru his schtik? they’d call it “original”. Falling down 16 times? they’d give a name like “The Shawn White Whitewash Washing Maneuver” and add points to his score. He’s ESPN’s guy…..unpossible for him to lose, natch.

    Why do I care about these things?

  56. 56.

    bemused

    @eemom:
    Don’t beat yourself up about it. After suffering through 8 yrs of Bush & company, a run of the mill snake oil salesman can look deceptively ethical.

  57. 57.

    Michael D.

    Anti-abortion nuts: “Can we advertise on the Super Bowl?”

    CBS: “Sure. We’re accepting issue ads now, what with the economy and all.”

    Gay dating site: “Awesome. Hers’s our ad, too!”

    CBS: “Errrr, except your issue.”

  59. 59.

    Max

    @eemom: I was never an Edwards person (I was Obama from the start), but I was talking with someone about him (who was) and they made a comment that Edwards looks worse now because we’ve gotten used to the authenticity of Obama and Michelle.

    Meaning that, if the Obama’s weren’t in the picture, in comparison to McCain, Clinton, etal, Edwards’ lack of character doesn’t stand out as much.

    I thought it was an interesting premise.

    But. Obot = me

  60. 60.

    kgc16

    @jeffreyw: Aww, I knew I should have read all the comments before I posted. Thanks for sharing it with everyone, though!
    (Me likey the birds.)

  61. 61.

    scav

    personal sleeze or not, what Edwards did contribute to the entire Dem ticket was an emphasis on the economy which I found he was pushing earlier than anyone else. So that bled over into the other campaigns – all in all a good thing as it turned out. But then, I just don’t think of the whole thing as the election of the national purity mascot, so I may be not outraged enough.

  63. 63.

    Mike E

    @jeffreyw:
    This is prolly Cooking 101 for you, but I just whipped up some butternut squash and leek soup:
    Ingredients
    1 whole garlic head
    4 teaspoons olive oil
    6 cups thinly sliced leek (about 4 large)
    4 cups (3/4-inch) cubed peeled butternut squash (about 1 medium)
    2 cups water
    2 cups fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth
    1/2 teaspoon salt
    1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
    Preparation
    Preheat oven to 350°.

    Remove white papery skin from garlic head (do not peel or separate the cloves). Wrap head in foil. Bake at 350° for 1 hour; cool 10 minutes. Separate cloves; squeeze to extract garlic pulp. Discard skins.

    Heat oil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add leek; sauté 5 minutes or until tender. Stir in garlic, squash, 2 cups water, broth, salt, and black pepper; bring to a boil. Reduce heat, and simmer 10 minutes or until squash is tender. Place half of squash mixture in a blender. Remove center piece of blender lid (to allow steam to escape); secure blender lid on blender. Place a clean towel over the opening in the blender lid (to avoid splatters). Blend until smooth. Pour pureed soup into a bowl. Repeat procedure with remaining squash mixture.

  64. 64.

    matoko_chan

    I boosted this from historian Doris Kearns-Goodwin, but I think its a great idea.
    why not…..just let them filibuster?
    they filibustered against civil rights for blacks for 57 days.
    it will just make them look like the stupid, obstructionist assholes they are.
    the rules for filibustering are milk and water only, and no potty breaks.
    a single republican senator can only filibuster until his bladder is ready to explode. Strom Thurmond filibustered civil rights for 24 hours, but he took a steam bath before he started.
    Let the country see them for what they are, just like the country saw them for racist pricks during civil rights.

  66. 66.

    OriGuy

    My five-year-old laptop doesn’t have the power to play ME2 or Dragon Age. I don’t spend a lot of time playing games, so I’m still banging away at Neverwinter Nights. The last game I bought was Plants vs Zombies.

    I downloaded the demo to Torchlight, a Diablo 2 clone, and played it for a while. It gives you a pet, either a dog or a cat, that fights along with you. The cat looks more like a lynx, so I named it Tunch.

  67. 67.

    Violet

    @jeffreyw:
    Awesome photo. I love the colors. The previous one you linked upthread with the birds in flight is amazing too.

    Do you live somewhere with some property? Looks like you’ve got a lot of space around you. I’m envious!

    @eemom:

    the clips of Edwards giving speeches make him look like such an OBVIOUSLY smarmy slimy snake oil peddler that I can’t stop marveling at how I fell for it.

    I always felt that he was slimy. I’ve got a friend in NC who knew both of them – not well, but had worked with Elizabeth briefly on some committee or something – and she just loved them. I could never feel the love. Something just felt inauthentic to me. I guess I was right. Wonder how I picked all that up via photos and video. Body language and tone is really interesting.

  68. 68.

    Mike E

    @jeffreyw:
    I watched Jacques Pepin do this and I had to try it. I added half a chopped (sm) onion and grated ginger to the sauté, and roasted the halved squash with the garlic head–homerun. My picky 14yo daughter really liked it, so I’m thinking this recipe can’t miss!

  69. 69.

    WereBear

    Our car is in the shop and ordinarily I wouldn’t mind walking downtown and running a few errands. But now it’s no cream in the coffee and scavenging what we have because it was -17 at nine this morning.

    And gorgeous.

  70. 70.

    Joel

    I stopped playing computer video games some time ago. I never imagined the day would come. The last one I bought was Civilization IV.

    I do play games on my iPhone though. The Worms port was awesome.

  71. 71.

    demo woman

    @Mike E: That sounds so good.
    I just watched the discussion the President had with the republican caucus again. It’s better the second time.

  74. 74.

    Cassidy

    At least you can play something. I have to wait until April to even play ME2, even though it’s the house waiting for me, thanks to the lovely wife. And due to my current schedule of 12 on, 12 off, I can’t een play ME1 or anything else to get the storyline right. So really, I’m looking at June, maybe July before ME2. That’s if I don’t pick up DAO.

  75. 75.

    Jay C

    @Mike E:

    Leek-and-butternut-squash soup sounds awesome: but one question: do you include the green parts of the leeks in your “six cups”, or only the white bits?

  79. 79.

    Phoebe

    I knew Elizabeth was a delusional control freak when I read the interview in “O”. But of course, that’s a perfectly understandable reaction. She was trying to keep it together the best way she knew how. Bad idea, but completely understandable.

    Hey Balloon Juice, how are the clowns spinning the Obama/Republican chat? I thought you would be reading these things so I don’t have to. Please don’t make me.

  82. 82.

    Mike E

    @Jay C:
    Ah. I was a leek ‘virgin’ before I tried this. I watched Chef Pepin do this on teevee: you (carefully) cut the leek longways in two strokes, to quarter. Rinse out the mud. Trim the dark-green parts starting low on the bulb end and cut higher and higher as you get to the heart. Some cooks feel more comfortable with the pale-green parts, but my man Jacques seemed happy with the darker looking parts. YMMV

  83. 83.

    mcd410x

    John, glad you’re back home.

    If I can take the conversation back to Mad Men for a second, the draw of the show isn’t that the characters are unlikeable, though they are. It’s that they’re unlikeable yet vulnerable. What’s more lifelike than that? (Plus, the writing, cinematography and set and costume design are outstanding).

    Just watched the Kodak scene from “The Wheel” (season 1 finale) for the 50th time, and for the 50th time it brought tears to my eyes.

  88. 88.

    Citizen_X

    @rootless_e:

    All the “progressive” and other blog agonizing about Rahm’s proposed congressional schedule is predictable but still mystifying. Why do people imagine that politicians guilelessly reveal their plans and hopes and priorities to every journalist who stumbles along?

    Because otherwise you’re left with games of mind-melding, tea-reading, Kremlinology, and interpreting eleventy-dimensional chess that are destructive to democratic principles and better left to the idiot courtiers in the Village.

    It’s a simple notion: politician says dumb thing, people smash. Rahm floated an egregiously stupid idea–to do a jobs bill first, then banking regulation, and then healthcare–and he fully deserves to get hammered on it. Even the war-mongery New Republic thinks so, wherein Chait refers to it as “the ‘My boyfriend is going to do a world tour with his rock band, then have a totally platonic weekend in Vegas with his ex-girlfriend, then join the Army, and then we’ll get married’ plan.”

    Sorry to be a buzzkill here, but I think there’s some pushback needed on this.

  91. 91.

    HRA

    Turned the TV on a short while ago to CNN for some news. What was on? Two lawyer pundits commenting on Alito during the State of the Union speech. Before seeing this, I read in another blog where this Alito stupidity was going to be old news now that we had our presidents glowing takedown of the twits in the Republican caucus. MSM stupidity continues with the Edwards saga. Blech!

    Colder than cold over here in WNY.

  92. 92.

    Sanka

    They told me that if I voted for McCain, the evil personal Bush/Cheney torture camp Gitmo would remain open…and they were right. Why doesn’t the president trust the NYPD and our justice system here in NYC?

    They also told me that voting for McCain would mean that John Yoo and Jay Bybee would be cleared of any wrong-doing.

    D’oh!

  93. 93.

    Seanly

    Well, your reason for not being able to play ME2 will eventual get better. I got ME2 for the Xbox 360 and until I get my XBL gamertag dis-associated with an old email, my collectors edition is just a pretty brick.

    Note for Xbox 360 gamers who play EA games – don’t loose your login information for the EA persona. It apparently takes an act of Congress, two acts of God and one all-out miracle to get your XBL gamertag associated with another EA account.

    For those not in the know, the EA account is how you access not just all the pre-order goodies, but also any update whatsoever for the game.

    /rant

  94. 94.

    gwangung

    It’s a simple notion: politician says dumb thing, people smash. Rahm floated an egregiously stupid idea—to do a jobs bill first, then banking regulation, and then healthcare—and he fully deserves to get hammered on it.

    Well, how about an equally simple notion: health care reform is important to us and it’s not going to hurt a thing to keep pressuring the politicians to do something (a very simple set of actions*) about it.

    (*note: I have the notion that public pressure is more effective the more constrained, the more simple the options are out there–when there are multiple options out there, it is rare for a mass of public opinion to coalesce around a single course of action).

  95. 95.

    rootless_e

    @Citizen_X: To me, it’s the other way around. All this silly speculation about what, if anything, Rahm’s schedule means to anyone is kremlinology-meets-hollywood-squares. I’m don’t care how they do it, I just think they should pass a damn bill and I’m profoundly uninterested in trying to guess at and react to what all that signifying in DC means.

  96. 96.

    Citizen_X

    @gwangung: I agree completely. I just think (tea-leaf reading, sorry to go against my own argument) that Rahm is floating a balloon here, and it needs to be Hindenburged. I think Congress is working quietly on getting the bill in shape, but I also think there are some who would just as soon sink the whole effort.

  98. 98.

    Shell

    and roasted the halved squash with the garlic head—

    Yes, roasting the veg always makes for a more intensely flavored soup. Yum.

    Crap, the last compuer game I played was Myst II.

  99. 99.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @rootless_e: @rootless_e: I don’t mind too much that folks express their opinion about what our leaders float, but the reflexive left blog explosions taking it to levels of shrieking meanies and reading into it much much more than is called for, is what rankles me. It’s really no different than Malkin and her patented poutrage routine. Somebody gets a blog, gets folks to regularly comment and the crazies get the best seats, and after awhile, it’s tail wagging dog for red meat to keep the natives sated. I don’t think it is all that mystical that the blogosphere would be that way, given it’s openness. But at some point it becomes a force that causes more harm than good, when claims are made of being supporters. If you are going to make that claim, then some responsibility and restraint should be present also.IMHO

  100. 100.

    rootless_e

    @Citizen_X: “trial balloon” – kremlinology. I have no idea why Rahm said what he said or even if it was reported accurately. I don’t care. It seems like getting caught up in all that is just begging to be manipulated by press reports.

  101. 101.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @rootless_e: seems not so much begging but needing to get caught up it news cycle whirlwind, and with the first breeze that comes along. That these days often is nothing more than an MSM brain fart. Or a blog one.

  102. 102.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I didn’t get to see anything but extracts of the Prez and the Goops yesterday/last night, but am watching the 2-hour MSNBC special right now. I am just fascinated with the way his mind works. He’s obviously very smart, well-prepped, and has quick access to a capacious memory, but he also has an enviable ability to go beneath the surface and identify the unspoken premises of his adversaries. If there’s illogic in their positions — and of course there very often is — he pulls it out, shows it to everybody, examines it from all sides, and points out the contradictions that lead to immobility.

    I would actually love to see him hold a similar free-ranging televised Q&A with members of his own party who are committing some of the same kinds of logical fallacies and rhetorical sleight-of-hand on the left. Fresh air and disinfecting sunlight for everyone, bitchez!

  103. 103.

    burnspbesq

    Surprised that the Secret Service is letting Obama and Biden sit next to each other, at courtside, at the Gtown – Duke game.

    Not at all worried about the game. Gtown is not going to shoot 70 percent for 40 minutes.

  104. 104.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @SiubhanDuine: I should have added that I think he’s smart enough and honest enough that if someone challenges him with a legitimate argument, he’s capable of modifying his position. Albeit he *is* a politician :-)

  109. 109.

    WaterGirl

    @Nicole: re: sorting receipts for taxes. That’s what I did early in the week when I couldn’t take reading/hearing about anything political. You’ll be glad when it’s done!

  112. 112.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @Max:

    Fuck Duke. Fuck them hard.

    I love it when you say that :-)

    course you might feel the same with Ky, but that’s ok.

    Go Cats!! beat Vandy.

  116. 116.

    burnspbesq

    @Max:

    We welcome your hatred. We revel in your hatred. We embrace your hatred.

    Nobody hates teams that aren’t consistently excellent.

  117. 117.

    Chad N Freude

    @SiubhanDuinne: I thought his performance was fantastic, but I am not confident that the application of Truth and Logic will carry a lot of weight with the teeming masses unless CNN and Fox and Fiends (no typo there) and the radio blowhards tell them that the President made them look like the ill-intentioned fools that they are. One sure thing: The Republicans will never, ever, EVER agree to televising a dialog with Obama again.

  118. 118.

    VladCat

    I’m still going through ME1 for all the hookups, if it makes you feel any better. I should feel sadder actually, but I am into sideboob.

  121. 121.

    Platonicspoof

    @rootless_e:

    . . . schedule means to anyone is kremlinology-meets-hollywood-squares.

    You should pass that along to Jon Stewart. He could easily morph what he already does to an occasional nine split screens show about pundits and their past predictions, with mock (TDS cast) contestants to guess true or false.

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