I know by now you are sick and tired of hearing this, but today was another shitty day and I can not tell you how sick and damned tired I am of having my shoulder aching constantly and having to wear this stupid damned brace. I can’t sleep well, because I either have to sleep in a damned chair or sleep in the bed and roll over and wake myself up in pain every 45 minutes. I haven’t had a solid night of sleep in a month.
I can’t do basic things, like tie my shoes or button my pants. To get dressed, I have to put my belt in before I put my pants on, button them, pull them up buttoned while sucking in my gut and perform a gymnastic feat to do my belt with one hand, then spend ten minutes trying to rearrange the boxers so I am not a gelding by the end of the day. I can’t mop or sweep or clean, and even emptying the dishwasher is a total PITA. Not that that is a big deal, because I can’t cook, and even if I could, I can’t use a damned fork with my left hand unless I A.) place a plastic sheet over my torseo B.) cook enough that 50% spillage will still leave enough food. Shaving is another whole load of joy.
Even using a computer is an ordeal. I can’t do any video or sound editing because I suck with a mouse with my left hand, and I can not do keyboard shortcuts with one hand. The only way I can blog and email is by using a laptop placed strategically on a board placed across my lap while sitting in a lazyboy- that allows me to have my right hand on the keyboard in the sling while contorting myself so my left hand can play too.
I can’t exercise, because walking hurts my shoulder after just a little bit, and even then, who can walk in this ice and snow. I move like an 80 year old with a hip replacement because I am so terrified of falling again. Additionally, you would be shocked how many times you are accidentally bumped into in public places by people- you just don’t realize it until you have something broken. Also, the $500.00 towel rack (the exercise bike) has been forbidden by the doctors, but I doubt I could probably mount the damned thing anyway.
And now to the chipper sadists at rehab who claim this is for my own good but who main remarkably cheerful while watching people in agony all day. Apparently I have moved on to a new stage in my rehab protocol, something that involves “table exercises.” If that sounds a lot like waterboarding, that should be no coincidence, because it is just as painful. After rehab, I’m basically shot for the day.
I know it is supposed to get better with time, but this just sucks and I have no idea how elderly people recover from this sort of thing without a huge support system. I’m so fed up with the lack of independence and the pain that I’m going crazy. And about the pain- it is no longer the excruciating after-surgery pain, it is now a constant aching, with occasional sharp pierces of pain and always the fear that you have done something wrong. Sure, you can take pills for it, but that just leaves you dain-bramaged and unable to think.
And I don’t want a 100 people saying “I hope you feel better.” I just wanted to bitch, and some of you stated complaining was therapeutic. If that is the case, I should be better by tomorrow after this baby.
I hope you feel better.
Can you put a little Evan Bayh in there, because that was an awesome rant. feel better, JC, because your BJ commentariat demands it!
ETA: I hope you feel better!
Well, let’s just see if we can’t make it One Hundred and One: I hope you feel better!
i hope you feel…worse?
seriously, if you want to vent frustration just go punch a…aw, bugger.
It’s your blog, and you can bitch if you want to.
Holy fucking shit – penis reduction pills?
That one is so off-the-wall I almost clicked on it.
licensed to kill time
Bitch Baby Bitch!
I hope you feel better.
I hope you feel better.
Lee from NC
While I haven’t injured myself to the extent you have, I have had (and am currently experiencing) back pain. It aches and throbs for days and there’s nothing you can do but bear it. Trying to sleep is an exercise in flopping around to find the position that is least painful, which you’ll only roll over in 10 minutes and wake up again anyway. Driving is excruciating because there’s no pain free way to drive a manual with a bad back…and on and on until it goes away. Only to come back again a few weeks or months later.
All of which is to say I sympathize deeply. And hope you get better soon. :)
I feel your pain.
Bitch all you want, John. I would if I were you.
A friend and former student of mine became a quadraplegic after a car accident at the age of 26. He died last year (another casualty of the war against sick people being waged by health insurance companies, but that’s another story), but he always said how ridiculous he found all the inspirational stories about people in his situation. He said there is nothing inspirational about it. Everything about it sucked. Even though he was paralyzed, he was in constant pain. He got pneumonia at the drop of a hat. He had continual kidney problems, lung problems, bed sores, was trached for the most minor respiratory problems. He could do nothing for himself: no writing or typing, no feeding himself, no showering or bathing alone. Hell, he couldn’t wipe his own ass. He said all the good news stories about people like him are just to make people like us feel better so we don’t have to contemplate what they must live with. He refused to go along with the feel good stuff and told it like it was.
So take a page from his book and bitch. He was one of the best, smartest, and funniest people I’ve ever known. And so are you.
Do not glow a basket because that can lead to permanent dain bramage.
Why don’t you get help from your girlf….
I am concerned about the fact that you are supposed to be moving soon.
How exactly does that get accomplished in your condition? I get that you can hire movers, but you still need to pack/unpack or shuttle back and forth, etc.
Do we need to form a BJ moving/wrecking crew and all descend on rat’s ass West Virginia, or wherever you live?
Right there with you, John. I broke my ankle in the last week of October, had surgery, and am only at about 90% right now. Doesn’t hurt much, but I can’t run or go to the gym really, and it sucks. It gets better, but it just absolutely fucking blows for like 3 months.
Aww that’s just shitty. Look on the brightside though, you’re learning a whole bunch of new skills?
I suck at cheering people up….
Would a picture of my boobies cheer you up?
One thing I’ve com away with from watching the Olympics is that a lot of the athletes never seem to return to perfect form after suffering a major injury. With the figure skaters in particular, it appears that even after an injury is completely healed, the memory of the pain remains forever causing a certain loss in performance. And these are people who are very young and in top shape.
As one gets older, aches and pains pop up in the same location as long forgotten injuries. While your shoulder will improve to the point of being almost normal, it will not be exactly as it was before.
I wish I would have appreciated being young back when I was young.
I once met a man who complained he coudn’t tie his shoes, until I met a man with no feet.
/stupid pointless comment meant to focus one’s perspective, but utterly fails.
Damn, you’re having a baby?
Physical therapy just flat out fucking sucks. No two ways about it.
Do you need a cigarette after that? oh, wait, you couldn’t light it…
Whenever you post I have this mental image of you wearing a shoulder stabilizer forcing your outstretched arm into an odd position, a neck brace and bandaging around your head (??), head turned at a disastrous angle in a gasping struggle to see the keyboard off in your periphery as slowly peck at the keyboard. There’s even some drool involved.
Glad to know it’s better than I imagined.
I do hope you feel better. Just remember that, however bad things are for you right now, that the pain and misery you’re suffering right now saved Lily like 5-10 minutes of having chilly toes. Which makes this exactly like giving your life to defend the Constitution and its guarantee of reduced Federal spending on non-entitlement programs unrelated to defense. Or something.
Seriously, being well is great, but getting well sucks ass, and you have my sincerest sympathies.
A couple small things you can do: grow a beard. Shaving should be the last thing you’re worried about. Besides, it keeps your face warm.
Take the damn pills. Sure it sucks being logy all day, but sometimes shutting off your brain is nice.
Did you ask him if you could have his shoes?
(Steve Martin, back when he was really funny)
I agree physical therapy as a profession attracts sadists, much in the same way policing attracts sociopaths and control freaks. God help me if I ever get injured.
Case in point – A 60-year-old male relative of mine had some chronic skin infections that went necrotic and required skin grafts. Not only are the physical therapy sessions straight out of 120 Days of Sodom, they do something called The Whirlpool – they lower you into a piping hot jacuzzi which scours your wounds out with a bleach solution. To be periodically followed up by the Wound Vac, which is pretty much what it sounds like.
I suppose you didn’t want any “it could be worse”s either. Sorry. And hope you feel better.
I like to blame the drugs for the huge fight that the spouse and I had while I was recovering over the fact that he bought the wrong kind of Chex Mix at the store, but there was a whole lot of being pissed off at being dependent on someone else mixed in there, too.
You need some laughs. Here are some Mitch Hedberg videos. And here’s some Bill Hicks.
Or, of course, whatever…
Wow. Best post EVER… Nothing like bitching to a thousand of your closest friends…
I hope you feel better (#3)
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
Not that it’s close to your pain, but I ran across some code today that I have been hired to fix – though no one put that in the job description – that was so bad that I had to go complain about my boss about it. I understand completely when something gets bad enough you just have to complain.
Cheetos? Pajamas? You are the blogger stereotype, JC. :)
@Gus: I can’t grow a beard. After three days the itching drives me insane.
Oh man, that was an awesome one! I almost burst into tears of sympathy…for myself, of course. If I had a nickel for every day it’s taken me two and a half hours to take a shower and get dressed, then rested another two hours from the exertion, then finally made it out somewhere where some idiot remarked on how nice it must be to be on disability and not have to work anymore, I’d be rich enough to be a Republican.
I do hope you feel better; I know I do.
I broke my arm and busted up my shoulder last summer, and now my car is on a trickle-charger to keep the battery alive (try driving a standard with no left arm – I tried it. Once.) I can get around in the wife’s truck, but that’s about it.
You’ll get through it, but six months later you’ll still know not to over-extend the arm. The pain gets duller, but it doesn’t really go away. Two years and you’ll still instinctively protect that arm.
And yeah on the people bumping into you. You don’t realize it until it fucking hurts.
I hear heroin is really good at pain relief.
If it makes you feel any better, wingnuts are all pissed about Obama putting his feet up on his desk, oh, excuse me, our desk – which was a gift from Queen Victoria, thank you very much and the
ni…black man is touching our antiques goddammit!
George Bush would never do anything like … oh … well, that’s different because, uh, just because. Shut up, that’s why!
This from the same assholes who hate other cultures, want to kick out all the non-whites, and throw a shit-snit every time the Supreme Court references foreign case law.
I don’t want this to sound sarcastic or smart assed, but have you looked to see if there is some sort of support group? You are not alone in this sort of thing. Mental health is just as important as physical health for recovery. When I had renal surgery, they opened me up like a can of sardines. It hurt like hell for what seemed like an eternity, I was able to talk to other folks going through the same kind of thing and it did help. It often turned into a bitch and complain session, but it helped to share the frustrations, the pain and the general pissed at the world feelings, and hear that others feel the same way. If you want to give it a go, your PT people should have some contacts, or let us know, I’m sure with our combined brain power, we can find some resources for you through the ‘tubes.
I was having a pretty crappy day Saturday, when a knock comes at the door and I look out to see this dood I kinda recognized.
Turns out it was my old councilman trying to get enough signatures to be a precinct chair. And I admitted I didn’t recognize him and he says, ‘yeah, I’ve lost 100 lbs this year because I got cancer.’ And I ask how his wife is doing and he says she’s now in a nursing home with Alzheimers. (She’s only 61).
That’s a pretty shit year right there.
Or some bill bailey pubbe jokes.
Just think how bad Tiger Woods feels, he hasn’t got laid since thanksgiving.
Screw him. I haven’t either, and didn’t even cheat on my wife.
OTOH, being mr. whipple and all, this is pretty much normal.
Okay, that one made me LOL.
FWIW, bones really do need stress to grow.
After not getting sick for years I got a wicked sinus infection last year. I couldn’t sleep for days because I kept shutting my mouth when falling asleep which meant I couldn’t breathe and I would wake up. I thought I would die. I was so tired I was hallucinating. Was there a tumor in my nose? Since then I swore I would never be impatient with an elderly person again. Someone who is probably in constant uncomfort or pain. Walking a couple feet in those shoes was enough for me.
Few things to make life easier:
– get a electric beard trimmer so u don’t have to shave
– swap out boxers for boxer-briefs so u don’t have to keep adjusting urself
– they really should be giving u better pain meds; medical pot should help if all else fails
– velcro is ur friend; get a set of velcro shoelace replacements for ur shoes; they work wonders for 1 armed life
@Carrie: Wow! Fantastic pair o’ boobies!!
Excellent rant, John! And I hope you feel better. (What number is that?)
Agree with the beard suggestion. If not now, when?
@Gus: Hey, whaddya know, logy is actually a real word. I don’t know why it so often astounds me to find words in the dictionary.
Hope you get to punch something metaphorical in the face soon, John. Repeatedly. Or I think you just did.
Can you imagine, this is the kind of action he used to get:
now he’s caged up!
I hope you get s***faced. I would. I will. Heck, I’m starting now.
It is therapeutic. But tomorrow you’ll probably want to take a gun to your rehab clinic. Resist the urge.
After a catastrophic injury like this, your life is never going to be the same. There’s a lot of things you won’t be able to do for at least another year. And some of them you’ll never get to do again. So, absolutely, get pissed, bitch about it, and continue to not give a shit if other people want to hear it or not. You’ve got a right to be upset, and a right to vent.
Well, how DID you find that photo of me?
J. Michael Neal
This. Even without the physical pain, being on vacation starts to really suck after a few months. I’m running out of classes to take, and if school ends this semester while I still don’t have a job, I’m going to climb the walls. That’s three-quarters of my social life.
Dude, I hear you. Bitch away! Complaining has it’s place.
Dog is My Copilot
How about another pet rescue story to make you (and us) feel better?
I enjoyed your rant. Venting is good for you. Just imagine having a cracked shoulder and no health insurance. Not being able to afford surgery. Or being in Haiti right now and there are few doctors around. Feel better now?
It ain’t goin’ to help to say, I hope you feel better, but 3 months from now, you’ll look on this….
BTW. Having a husband or wife does help a lot.
General Winfield Stuck
I hear ya bro. When I ruptured my achilles tendon years ago, It made me go crazy and whisky soaked to the bone, more than I already was, in and out of a leg caste for two years from an A type personality that wouldn’t let me sit still long enough to mend properly. Luckily, at first I had a woman around to help out, but I became such an ass she got tired of my pity parties and went splitsville. I had just moved to a new state and only had my new co workers as support, and lived out in the boonies with a standard shift truck I couldn’t clutch.
Every morning, I woke up and thought I was in Hell. The good news for you is you aren’t a fraction of the asshole I was back then 25 years ago. And luckily, neither am I today.
But anyways Here is a song special for you.
Hey Cole, if you want to be cheered up, check out all the replies @JoeNBC. Funny stuff today. :-)
Oh, and the responses are in reaction to this little bit of solipsism from Joe:
I hope you feel better! (ducking)
Have you tried waterboarding your shoulder until it complies and stops terrorizing the rest of your body?
That, and ponies. Also.
Hey, good rant. I’m right there with you, getting a small plaster cast off tomorrow after slipping and damaging some bones in my right hand/wrist. It’s been irritating as hell and that’s minor compared to yours, so much sympathy to you, I can quite imagine how frustrating it feels. Mousing left is indeed a pain, along with all the other things you mention. So rant away all you want.
Get some elastic shoe laces like triathletes use to make transitions faster. They work great. Don’t have to tie your shoes.
I hope you feel better, but then I’m a liberal so I hope everyone feels better. Still, I especially hope you feel better.
(and by my count, that’s only the thirteenth comment to explicitly hope John will “feel better”, though I was too lazy to count for those that were less clear or phrased it differently. How are we going to beat the 100 person target that John wants to ignore at this rate?)
Just Some Fuckhead
Only 624 words? You can do better than that, you whiny little cripple!
And if he’s in arm traction, not a lot he can do about it…
Hang in there, John. Pun intended.
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Now THAT is how you reply to a rant like this. Exactly the kind of medicine Cole needs.
Breaking my own rule to offer a few suggestions (when I’m in the mood you’re in, I never want suggestions. I just want to bitch. Still.) I offer the following after struggling through 2 surgeries and over a year of PT after I nearly cut a finger off cleaning the fish bowl. (Fish are fine.)
1) Arnica gel will help your aches tremendously. Arnica the homeopathic pill also is good.
2) If your PT is an asshat, demand a new one. If there aren’t any good ones available, tell your doc you want a referral to another PT center. Your well-being is too important to be entrusted to people who smirk at you while you suffer.
3) Now is the time to tell the party to come to your aid. Ask a friend to coordinate dinners cooked and delivered. Also errand running, house cleaning support, Lily walking….what it is you need. And promise yourself that Never Again will you pass up an opp to do the same for others when they’re in need. A dinner, a mopped floor, or an escort to a doc appt will be a pleasure to do for someone, knowing what it’s like from the need side of things.
4) Broken shoulders is why god made sports pants. Buy at least 3 pairs and and pull a shirt or sweater over the elastic band.
5) Bitching is good. So is deep breathing.
take care. thinking of you.
Aren’t you glad to have the greatest health care in the world? If this were Canada or the UK, you’d be forced to get a same-sex marriage at the end of your treatment. And to convert to Islam as well.
I bet you can get on the towel rac…, I mean bike, but getting off would be the bigger problem.
Well- for as much as this sucks, at least you did not fall on your dog, crush her and then have to watch her go through this. :(
Just Some Fuckhead
@geg6: He made fun of me when I was in a cast all summer with a broken hand. Or whatever.
James K. Polk, Esq.
Sounds like someone needs a good BJ.
Not the blogging kind.
Sarah Palin thinks your shoulder is retarded.
When you bitch, it just makes me feel sorry for your dog…………..’cause I know your cat could give a flying f***!
Wow. That is one epic rant. I salute you, sir.
Serious question: Why are you getting dressed at all? Unless you need to go to PT, aren’t you pretty much housebound right now? And if you’re housebound, can’t you just lounge around in PJs? No buttons, no belt to worry about….
Oh, god, the Westminster Dog Show (rerun, I guess) just aired a Pedigree ad about shelter dogs that made me cry. This kind of thing makes me crazy: I have 2 cats, I don’t have a yard; I cannot have a dog, so stop guilting me stop making me feel like a war criminal just for not adopting a dog I can’t take it anymore… (sobs)
Why apologize? I thought that was a fantastic rant. And well, well-justified.
One more thing to add. It’s February, and the feeling that we’re stuck, the world’s turning has stopped. Nothing but gun-metal gray skies and dirty snow. But jsust a few more weeks, and it’ll be March. Sure, it can still snow. But it’;; be March. Spring starting to make an entrance. Oh, and skunk mating season starts
@Just Some Fuckhead:
I like it. Whiny sick people need made fun of. And hell, he’s not even sick. It’s a self-induced injury. And not even a comedic one like if he’d done this while naked mopping.
Steve in Sacto
No sympathy here. Sucks to be you, dude…
Not sleeping well makes everything worse — the pain, the myriad inconveniences, the fact that everyone on your blog fancies themselves a godsdamned fvkking COMEDIAN and they are WRONG WRONG WRONG. You may want to discuss with your physician finding some kind of pill combination that will knock you out sufficiently that you can sleep in your brace or your lazyboy for at least 6 to 8 hours at a stretch, which may improve your mood just marginally enough that you can be “awake” for some part of each day without feeling stunned & incompetent. Change the peaks on the pain-vs-alertness graph, so that you’re dead & stupid sometimes (18 hours a day probably) and alert enough to feel like you’re making progress the other 5 or 6.
The Spousal Unit (who has had a full beard for the last 30 years) says it mostly goes away after the first week, and after that scratching one’s beard gives you something to do with a free hand that’s much more socially acceptable than re-arranging the boxers.
Meanwhile, sweatpants, dude, and velcro shoes or sneakers. Nobody’s gonna comment on your sartorial sloppiness while you’re wearing the dam’ brace. Save your limited energies for stuff that really matters, like dishing out the pet food and paying the delivery guys without dropping the pizza.
It’s plenty comedic that he did this while protecting Lily’s tender paws from that mean old snow. Talk about a pampered pooch.
What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.
(way more annoying).
@Belafon (formerly anonevent):
My dev team is in my office, on my whiteboard, telling me about the Level of Suckage of the legacy code they’re dealing with, hourly. When they get to the point of absolute fury with the previous developers, I say “Who wants to go to the 2-hour senior management status update today with me? Any takers?”
Chills them right out.
Just Some Fuckhead
@geg6: I’m deeply sympathetic; however, I don’t play a sympathetic character type on Balloon Juice so I’m kinda limited in the support I can provide publicly.
YEAH! Mock the crip!
Maybe this is what you get for not being married. Is there something wrong with WV womenfolk?
I go absolutely nuts if any injury or illness hobbles me for more than 2 weeks. Can’t fathom how people deal with chronic conditions.
And, by established homeopathic principles, no Arnica at all is even better! It’s a wonder he’s feeling any pain at all!
Working from the recliner like Roger Ebert, eh?
Move to CA. If you live on the coast you will have no worries!
Use your thumb.
On the command and option keys. Then the stretch to the others is doable.
You can also turn on the “sticky keys” option in a Mac’s control panel but I find the sticking irritating.
“Typing one handed for 30 years”
I know the cliche’d joke about West Virginia marriages is both deeply offensive and lacking a foundation in reality – but I can’t be the only person who thought about it when reading this comment.
Must. Avoid. Temptation to make cliched inbreeding jokes.
Stupid suggestion #43: Get one of those mouses with a thumb trackball. With enough duct tape, you could probably use it in your right-hand, in-position, without moving your shoulder.
Feel better, also.
Effing pussy blogger. Man up and hit that keyboard!!
Here’s one more vote for the convalescence beard.
If the neanderthals had been computer scientists, we’d still be pushing stone wheels around.
Tough crowd here but if I was feeling like John, I would definitely prefer snarky, hilarious abuse over hearts & flowers. At least, I hope John is laughing. I know I am.
Well, look on the bright side John, you could be dead.
Or still a republican.
With a little practice you can button your pants and tie your shoes with one hand.
Unless you are a dweeb.
Or that r word about which I haven’t yet mastered Sarah’s guide to useage.
Suck it up ya big wuss.
My hint – don’t button your pants – buy elastic band sweats.
I had bed rest for a month recovering from a hip fracture. No getting up except for the potty.
So yeah, it sucks, and yeah, you can make it.
joe from Lowell
Walk it off.
Go ahead, walk it off.
Uh…put some dirt on it?
Huh. Well, I’m out of ideas.
I’m sure my comment will make you feel better instantly….
I think you did not really understand how serious an accident you had. Do you NOW realize it? Glenoid surgery = VERY SERIOUS.
There, doncha feel better now?
@KCinDC: Ebert is twice the man I’ll ever be. If you follow only one person on twitter, make it Ebert.
After my husband had open heart surgery to replace a failing valve, he could not sleep properly in bed due to the breast bone healing issue and fluid in his lungs. Another cardiac rehab patient suggested a comfortable recliner and man, did it work. It may seem like a high cost for this one time event, but hey, what price sleep? I also think there are medical supply services that will rent them out by the week.
I would also look into some sleep meds that actually knock you out as it appears you have atypical reactions to the standard pain meds. Chat with a nurse practitioner in your doc’s office and explain your problem – they may have some good advice/alternatives to recommend.
Beware the Ambien, though. My husband turned into a 17 while he was on it for the four months he was in recovery; all irritation and hormones. Was very happy when he went off it.
That’s probably the worst thing. I get really cranky if I haven’t had some good sleep in awhile. Or sex. So if you’re two for those two, I’m guessing you’re really testy. Which seems to be amply confirmed by this post.
When released from the hospital a little over a week ago, I left with a prescription for hydrocodone for the pain. First few nights to sleep popped a couple of those along with a few fingers of scotch. Worked pretty well for me. Now the scotch alone at night is doing the job.
Look on the bright side, it could always be worse. Okay, you can say “fuck you” now.
Righteous! Nothing better than a good, old fashioned righteous rant. In another week, you’ll write even a better one.
Given the extent of your injury it was a forgone conclusion that rehab would be ugly. I’ve chucked more than one pair of crutches across the room, so you get nothing but sympathy from me.
The only way out lies forward. So you press on. Ugly disposition and all.
Got hit by a truck in 94, still can’t sleep for more than 6-7 hours at a time. And even then only 2 positions. Usually only sleep for 2-3 hrs without waking up. Shoulder, hip, knee. Had surgery on the shoulder about 6 yrs ago, some days still hurts like a mofo. Like today. Hip gets upset that it hasn’t been replaced oh, every few days. Like today. Hurts like a mofo. So some days walking is a bitch. But it’s still better than the possible outcome could have been.
So buck up it only gets worse from here on out. BTW I thought you had been injured a few times before and have been through this.
Side note – I hated shaving more than almost anything and didn’t shave for about 20 yrs other than a trim every week or so. It takes 3 days to a week to get used to the beard, after that it feels great. Try it, shaving is societies way of getting you to conform, be a rebel. Besides you can look like a bum and people quit begging you for money and may actually want to hand you some. You wanted to be a DFH so go all the way and get the look as well.
Belt? You still manage a belt? I had to go to suspenders for a time. And I almost got the doctor to cert for Dragon Naturally Speaking as medically necessary for me to do my job. I was recovering too fast, though, and missed some legal timeline for qualification. I’ve seen it in action enough and used it at various locations enough to recommend it in your situation.
(Heck, it’s the keystone of my vision of the ideal portable computer.)
Oh, yes… if you’re not bitching, you’re over-medicated.
Ah John, fascinating how badly we can screw up our bodies with no effort…and how long and frustrating it is to recover. A few years ago I bent down to water some stupid flowers, and tripped on the hose..that’s all I did. I flew directly into my 5 foot buddha..and as I flew, I wondered if I had indeed killed myself. I knew it was going to be ugly. I bounced off, having hit my face head on, and lay on my back in my driveway, swearing badly. [I did so hope no children were home that day.] But I wiggled and everything seemed okay ish so I went to the office, rather than the emergency room. Stupid, stupid move. Spent the next three weeks with a concussion or two, and massive bone bruises. Everytime I entered the elevator with my full facial black eyes, had to explain that no man was responsible..I just hit the buddha. Does that not sound dumb? But every man in every elevator took one look at me and was ready to go kill the thug who had hit me. Very sweet. So…I get well..I think. Then one night I have a dream my foot is on fire..I wake up, and my leg is viciously swollen & sore. Go to doctor..he says its gout. Now, I live well [sarcasm there] but I am blessed with a great friend & his wife. He is a world famous orthopedic surgeon. I go to dinner that week with him, dragging along this leg..and he bless his heart arranges for an MRI. [My own doctor wouldn’t order it..too expensive.] That MRI shows an ugly tear in the tendon that makes my right foot move back & forth.. They tell me it healed itself, badly, after I fell, then split again &…that was February. I had the surgery in April; I had to move into a hotel [$20,000 plus bill] for six weeks because I could put no weight on my foot at all…I had a little put-put machine that I tooled around Pike Place Market for six weeks…and then I went on crutches..I bought bright red & blue ones.
Point of all this…one day after I moved home [could not move earlier because I couldn’t do steps] my daughter drove up & found me in the garden..balanced one one leg, the red crutches and a green hose…as I tried to water some flowers. Talk about feeling like a kid caught.. she said I looked like some creature from outerspace.
John, it took me a year..yeah, a year of that fright and the pain and the frustration. I shall never be able to walk as much and I’ve gained 50 pounds that have to go. But thank God for my buddy the surgeon who insisted on the MRI. Go to Hulu & watch Wire in the Blood and everything else you find there..we shall keep plugging in. Time and pain and more time..it will pass sir. Take it from the idiot who wiped out her 5 foot buddha. [Oh, one more note: If I hadn’t hit the buddha, I would have dropped another four feet with my face on jagged rocks that line my garden. The buddha saved my face. Good luck…go ahead, bitch. It helps!
LOL. My shoulder surgery rehab was similar. After stretch cords and medicine ball throws and whatnot, you get on the table and use your good arm to
stretch outinflict tremendous amounts of pain on your bad shoulder. You do this for a good 10 minutes. And then the chief rehab specialist comes over and does it some more, only amped up to 11. Holy mother of…
I almost forgot… re shoelaces: Ian’s Shoelace Site. See in particular the one handed shoe knot here.
(It’s this site that convinced me you can find ANYTHING on the internet.)
Hah, much win in this heah thread.
Hope you don’t not fail to not feel less good.
re. The beard thang, yes the itching does eventually go away and hell, itching is a
goodeffective distraction from pain but also too, some dudes should not have beards, e.g., Robert Bork. Not that you’re anything like Robert Bork but Robert Bork stands tall, uh, mid-heighted as somebody for whom a beard does not enhance the looks, unless of course it does and he’s a scrotum face without it.
What were we talking about? Oh yeah, feel mo bettah.
A belt is difficult with one hand? This I can’t even fathom. You shove it through one loop, grab the end, pull and repeat.
There are no buttons on sweat pants, plus they are warm and comfy. No real need for underwear either.
Sweatpants. Beard. Drugs.
Get a wife! (You may have to get rid of the sweatpants, beard and drugs to accomplish that, tho.)
Did you move?
CHANGE THE POINTER “SPEED”. To Slower (at least on Windows) so that you can make gross moves with your hand that translate into smaller movement of the pointer.
@wrb: fastening a belt with one hand is the hard part. Yeah, slide the end through the loop and pull – or so I said till I had to do it.
Suspenders were EASIER, and didn’t require me reaching to my left side with my right hand (and the contortions causing my left arm to scream).
Maybe you should just wear pajama bottoms so you live up to the stereotype of blogging in your PJs.
Rant on, Sir! I would take the pill before & after I went to Rehab, though. That was my therapist’s advice when I had neck surgery. You eventually will forget to take them because you won’t hurt as much. What about Motrin and that type of anti-inflammatory/pain drug? If you get that in your system, it helps with the constant ache and doesn’t affect mental functioning. My Dr. let me combine Vicodin & Motrin to ease me off Vicodin since Vicodin has Tylenol in it and the 2 drugs can be taken together safely. You might ask about that. It was a huge dose of Motrin–800mg daily for a while and very effective. Try to call and maybe ask the Dr.’s nurse or ask the Dr. on your next visit.
YOU WON’T KNOW IF YOU DON’T ASK! Ok, now the obligatory–feel better, sir.
Grumpy Code Monkey
Bitch away. I broke my right (dominant) hand a couple of weeks ago. In terms if trauma, it’s nothing (broken metacarpal). It doesn’t even hurt anymore unless I do something stupid. In terms of inconvenience, it’s a massive pain in the ass. All the stuff that I took for granted (eating, brushing my teeth, signing checks, driving a stick, filling out forms, wiping my ass, seeing starbursts) is now eleventy billion times harder. And that’s not even in the same area code as what you’re having to put up with.
Don’t be ashamed to make noise if something hurts.
John needs a wife.
I agree w/cat48. 800mg Ibuprofen can be very effective. & keep up the ice packs. I’ve been told that beer & Ibuprofen is popular w/athletes.
Cole doesn’t do nearly as many Lily postings anymore…
But don’t women like needy cripples? Shouldn’t he be out there with his doggie milking this for all the sympathy shags he can get?
haven’t read the other comments yet, but I admire your pluck & fortitude for just taking the effort to type out your rant. I suppose the therapeutic value of hammering this out on the keyboard might have offset at least some of the discomfort, and I guess I’ll also suppose the therapy value will be of a slower-release, hopefully longer-lasting type as opposed to the immediate discomfort. It could be worse, you know, if this were like 1950 you’d be trying to type on an old typewriter that required considerably more strength than a PC keyboard.
Either way, constant hurting sucks.
Remember – eventually the pain will pass or you will die first. I’m betting on the former.
And if things get too bad, he can always end it all by taking a hundredth of the usual dose…
(Stolen shamelessly, I know not from where)
I know. I miss seeing Lily. I wonder what she thinks of John in his crazy batwing get up and with his inability to move much. And her toes are probably much colder than she’d like.
Glad to see you bitch. It actually read more like a rant though.
I’m convinced that bitching is part of healing so keep it up.
I guess it would be condescending to tell you that I hope you feel better soon so I won’t.
Yeah, you do need a wife.
I know it’s no consolation, but that really WAS an excellent rant. I was especially entertained at your description of how you put on your pants.
Just last night I saw this neat ad on TV for a hair-removal product. They guaranteed it would be painless and perfect. You might even get 2 for the price of 1 if you order now, although “now” was last night, so I don’t know if that part of the offer still stands.
I think the special offer also included some type of pubic hair straightener that was free except for the shipping if you bought the hair-removal product.
Right Wing Extreme
I feel for you. I did not catch what you did to your arm, but Having broken my rotator-cuff and dislocated right arm several times, I can sympathize. My best advice is to belt down your arm when you walk or get a sling with a belly-strap that essentially does the same thing. it really cuts down on the movement and therefore the pain. Whenever I am in a sling for the dominate arm, I gave up shaving for the duration. It is really easy to run clippers with the left hand and just keep everything trimmed back. With sleeping, either sleep in the chair, it isn’t to bad once you get used to it, or you could sleep on the uninjured side with a body pillow to support your injured side. Watch out for the physical therapists. I know you said they were sadists, but trust me, they are way worse than that. Get well soon.
For the beard itch, try Scalpicin.
Day after day I have been waiting for you to give us an update on your shoulder and any progress. I see you have gotten into the stage of anger. Yes, any capacitating injury does have stages. Now you have to rise above this stage and only you can do it.
I agree with the suggestion of sweats. I am suggesting you wear slippers instead of shoes. After all you are not going anywhere outside for most of the days. Since I am not a male, I shall pass on the intimate wear. The beard is a fine suggestion, too. There must be something you can apply to it that would stop the itch.
As I have said in other threads, the PT and the doctor should be consulted about any problems with your recovery.
No I am not going to offer you what you don’t want to hear. I know the feeling times 2.
Good bitching ya got going. Reminds me of just how much suckitude is involved in getting older. It all starts to fucking hurt.
Had both knees replaced (at the same time)((because I AM crazy)) a few years ago. The PT techs were cruel as well as evil. But, and this is a big but, eventually it all did get better. The key is being able to outlast them.
You can at least rant on and let us give you unwanted advice. Where else are ya gonna get that?
And free, too!
John, I busted 2 ribs a month ago… almost as bad as throwing out ones back.
“Breath deep the gathering gloom as watchlights fade from every room….”
F**K YOU! I CAN”T BREATH!
It will pass. If not before, than when you die…
I know, small comfort…
Well, if this doesn’t make you feel better, then I don’t know what will.
@HRA: I am suggesting you wear slippers instead of shoes. After all you are not going anywhere outside for most of the days. Since I am not a male, I shall pass on the intimate wear.
You should check with John before you pass on your intimate wear. Some guys aren’t into that.
Oh come on John you can do better than this! That was such a wimpy a$$’d bitch session, I can barely feel your pain. You reeally need to let it out. C’mon baby, you can do it!!
Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America (Hardcover)
~ Barbara Ehrenreich
I will 3rd this option/suggestion. I’ve found that 800mg ibuoprofen, plus 4 glasses of red wine, is very good at reducing pain to almost nil — if your stomach can handle it.
I’ll bet the hardest part is brushing the cheeto crumbs off your board with one hand…
Well, I feel better, by comparison at least. Good rant. When I’m sick, everybody suffers; it might as well be the same with you.
@Tattoosydney: Not when they’re wearing sweat pants, suspenders and velcro shoes.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
Let’s see – I have a spinal infection.
I was diagnosed as “muscular-skeletal pain” until I went downhill so fast I couldn’t stand without help. Then I was rushed into hospital, spending 23 days there. The first two weeks of that were in horrible drugged pain where I couldn’t even lie down on my back.
Let’s not even talk about the side effects of opiates. “Constipation” sounds like a laughing matter to most people, but never again to me. Ever.
Couldn’t shower myself. Couldn’t even wash. Couldn’t shave.
I then spent about two months basically lying on a couch at home with nurses coming in every day to stick antibiotics through a line in my arm. Couldn’t stand up easily. I was on a walker. No way to stand on my own two feet.
I’m a bit better now – I’m still taking morphine, but the pain comes and goes. I’m back at work half time, which gets me out of the house. I still need someone to vacuum clean and help me do dishes, though.
But the sensation in my feet and legs is fading, and I think they’re getting weaker. It’s likely that I’ll need spinal surgery still – I have an MRI tomorrow to look at it.
So, yeah, in a sense I’m better off than you. I still have two hands to use, even if for a long while I couldn’t do anything with them since moving hurt too much. And I’ve become a black belt in sudoku.
But all in all, I’m in much the same position, with the added problem of worrying about someone taking a knife to my spine.
But do you see me bitching about it?
(Self-pitiers of the world unite!)
16 shells from a thirty aught six
I’m late to this party. What happened to Cole? Car wreck?
You might want to think about trying out Dragon Naturally Speaking. Or if you’re using a Mac, there’s a similar produt called MacSpeech Dictate
I know a programmer who has such severe carpal tunnel syndrome he can’t use a keyboard or a mouse. He dictates all his code using Dragon and he’s one of the fastest coders I’ve ever worked with.
I know that with the deluxe version of Dragon you can do a huge amount of stuff without ever touching the keyboard, like switch between programs/documents, move the cursor around and operate menus. I know less about the Mac product. That’s actually from a different publisher although the Dragon people sell it.
You may have a point.
I’ve known a few people who have had to deal with painful recuperations after shoulder or knee surgery. They were all impatient and cranky.
Actually this is a sign of progress. It may not be big enough for you to appreciate, but better a small step than no step at all. Instead of looking for day-to-day progress, look at it week by week.
Crying helps, too, with constant pain and aggravation.
Recovery from injury or surgery when you live alone is awful. I had surgery a year ago. I was in much less pain than you are but it was still a PITA. I couldn’t sleep and couldn’t/didn’t eat enough, so then the pain meds made me dizzy (and nauseated). Fortunately, I had good friends who brought me some baked chicken to nibble on for a few days, which helped tremendously. I agree with the beard and elastic waistband clothes suggestions, and the ibuprofen (but ask your doctor first to make sure you don’t accidentally over-medicate yourself). If your sleeping problem is from the pain you get when you turn over in your sleep, you could try putting a bolster or other stiff pillow behind your back; it might reduce the number of times your body tries to turn over during the night.
@kdaug: You’re doing it wrong. I drove and shifted lefthanded in a Daihatsu when I lived in Japan. ‘Course, it had the steering wheel on the right.
Yup, yup, yup. I guess this is Nature’s way of telling us that once we’re past reproductive age, it’s time to fall apart and die.
John, I mentioned in an earlier comment that I am a physician specializing in pain medicine. I came to that sub-specialty as a doctor of Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation. Many of my patients face the same obstacles you’re contending with – and for many of them these are permanent (people with amputations, spinal cord injury or stroke for example).
Given your interest in hi-tech you might want to climb the learning curve for voice recognition software (Dragon for PC, MacSpeech for Mac) even though you will not require using it forever, you might like it enough to choose to.
As for the pain; you’ve gotten some reasonable recommendations – and you’ve been told some of the common fallacies.
I appreciate your disinclination about medications for pain and for sleep but you may be putting yourself in a position of prolonging your misery, slowing your optimal recuperation, by making choices about ‘Risk V. Benefits’ without being fully informed of those risks and benefits.
I’d be happy to help you become more informed so you can make the most appropriate decisions for you and your circumstances if you’d like.
I don’t know what the rules are here about adding my email address within a posting so I’ll keep an eye on this thread either for a response from you – or instructions about the rules for providing my email address from other folks who know all of your internet traditions.
oops I should have been more specific. “I shall pass on giving advice about your intimate wear since I am not a male who would know how to nip and tuck the machinery.”
I agree with several others: go for the beard.
This righteous rant reminded of the one I made to a friend 20 years ago while laid up following a car accident. I was a month into my recovery with limited moblity and pain even narcotics couldn’t erase.
She listened quietly for the 5 or so minutes I railed. When I finally stopped bitching she asked compassionately, “You know the worst thing that can happen following an accident?”
I responded testily, “What?”
She stated, “You survive.”
I feel you John. Try and find the bright side. Hint – It’s probably to your left.
Have you considered drug abuse? I heard Rush Limbaugh say it’s a great way to pass the time.
Ouch. What’s the timeline for recovery? An end in sight can help a bit. Or just be more maddening…
Instead of taking pain meds, take Xanax for the anxiety that you’re feeling, and for the hopelessness which come through so clear in you post. You’re probably just on the cusp of a burst of recovery which you can’t foresee and is going to arrive tomorrow. Also, pretend it’s the 60’s and don’t wear underwear. A generation of your elders went without it and look how we turned out. (The town hall teabaggers were closet underwear wearers, I can spot them a mile away.)
I hope you feel better.
I hope you rant helped your mood a bit, despite the pain and frustration involved in typing it.
BTW, I forget if you’re using Windows or Mac, but Windows 7 has a lot of accessibility features (including speech recognition, which probably isn’t as good as Dragon), and one of them, I’m pretty sure, allows one-handed use of the keyboard through sequential use of CTRL, ALT, etc.
I just need to interject that having attended a college with a relatively good physical therapy program, those cute, chipper ladies have many highly redeeming qualities. I recommend a pitcher of mojitos to get a more enjoyable therapy regimen.
That’d probably work fairly well.
You probably don’t want any more advice, just want to be cranky, but since whatever you’re using for pain med doesn’t seem to be working as well as you’d like, and since your shoulder pain may last for a while, you might try a few different ones to see if one works better for you.
The one I’ve been prescribed for my mishap is 7.5mg hydrocodone (opiate based) laced with 200mg ibuprofen. Believe the brand name is Vicoprofen. I have the generic. Use it less now and only when really needed, but when I take one almost immediately feel the pain start melting to a very tolerable level. Works well for me. While may not be as sharp when using it, and probably shouldn’t read and sign any contracts, don’t think I’d write something like this…
“Dain-bramaged”? Maybe you’ve already taken one or two pills too many. Or maybe you wrote it that way intentionally.
Anyway, if I take two of those hydrocodone/ibuprofen feel virtually no pain, but do get a little drowsy. Two taken with a bit of alcohol and I’m sound asleep. Probably shouldn’t mix them with alcohol, but then there’s a lot of things in life you shouldn’t do.
The liability for this advice is limited to the amount paid for it.
@Dave Trowbridge: The Mac has them as well. Go to System Preferences -> Universal Access. Sticky Keys can be quite helpful if you have limited use of one hand.
beards rock. i’ve probably saved a thousand bucks in razors over the last coupla years. and yeah, they don’t itch after a few days.
The best medicine for pain is violent films. When I had my wisdom teeth removed I went down to the local $3 arthouse revival for a triple bill of Reservoir Dogs, Taxi Driver and True Romance.
Nothing is more cathartic than watching a DeNero gunning down Keitel; Michael Madsen dancing with a straight razor or Christian Slater going toe-to-toe with with Gary Oldman while floating on Vicodin.
If you can afford it (and maybe even if you can’t), think about moving to a hotel for a few days. You don’t have to do any housework and can get your meals delivered.
I’ll send my wishes for less pain and more movement — is that acceptable?
John, I’m skipping most of the comments, to offer some suggestsions:
1) Work on this week by week; if you’re getting any better each week, it’ll add up.
2) PT will suck.
3) Get somebody to help with the housework and such. Sociologists use terms like ‘support network’ for a reason.
Venting/ranting/howling at the moon is definitely cathartic.
Also rent/play “Elephant man” and realize how often situations we find utenable would be a step up for most.
“He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man” ~ HST
“chipper, rehab sadists …”
I wish I’d written that.
You’re growing on me, Cole.
But then I grew up in Pittsburgh.
For all who don’t know, this is what happened to Cole. He’s a doggie-hero!
@gopher2b: Agreed. My best friend and I came up with an alternative saying, “That which does not kill you still fucking sucks.”
I actually mouse with my left hand. My techie brother suggested it as a way to minimize wear and tear on my dominant hand. It works like a charm. Then again, I’m ambidextrous, so it’s not that difficult.
Cole. Loved the rant. Go commando. Ditto velcro and sweats. Bitch more if needed. Lather, rinse, repeat. And, get the fuck better, you hear?
some medicinal might help..
what? you already listen to phish…
At least your pets are getting fed with the food you drop….
John, because you were where you were having the awful shoulder-wreck, you weren’t somewhere else having something worse happen. See how that works? I hope you beel fetter.
Selfishly I have enjoyed your illness-related rants. You sound like a mix of Cormac McCarthy and Ernest Hemingway.
just for the record – it’s days like this I was thinking about when I threatened to gather a posse of distaff BJ-ers and descend on you en masse for some vigorous caretaking – by which I didn’t mean lots of useless chicken soup and poor-baby squeeing, but practical stuff .
(ok, I admit it. I wasn’t worried abut you at all – just didn’t understand how you were going to keep His Royal Tunchness’s litter box pristine, if you couldn’t move your arm! )
spent three years in a cast and crutches off and on, (two knees surgeries, two foot surgeries – all while living alone, without a significant other – and it was the little, practical things that drove me nuts – like not being able to carry anything. And while friends helped a lot, I couldn’t bring myself to ask anybody for litter-box duty! Or help with bathing, etc.
And hired housecleaners tended to draw the line at kitty poo (besides banging around the place, smearing stuff, being useless etc – )
My salvation, eventually, was when I engaged the sainted Maria, a new Russian emigre, as my twice-weekly house help. Seriously, you need a Maria. All 5’3″ inches of her, and her fierce, stubborn, hold-off-the Germans at Stalingrad dedication to the cleanliness and general well-being of both me and my apartment.
She cleaned the cat pan, scrubbed walls and floors and everything she could see (including me), took out the garbage, cooked me borscht, brought me videos and Chinese food and pickled herring, ran my errands, bullied me into taking the pain pills and saved my sanity. Although I had learned to drive left-footed, she insisted on driving me to and from PT because “they hurt you too bad there.”
When I was eventually healed, I helped her set up her own (now very successful) home health help business – in gratitude.
Seriously – this is going to take a while. Get a Maria, Pay her well – it’s just too hard, otherwise.
i hear you! I’m ten months into my recovery from my rotator cuff surgery and still feel frustrated. Believe me though, the worst is behind you. Hopefully you’ve traded in the Percocet for Vicodin? And believe it or not you might stop taking that cause you’re sick and tired of “being high”
The only advice i can give you is go hard in Physical Therapy, laugh at the pain! they will think you’re nuts but you feel like you’ve bested them and it feels really good!
Try to be patient and take it day to day, i’ve snowboarded 12 times since December! Sore but worth it brother
Keep on truckin!
John, not only was that epic (as the kids these days say) but I knew that it would inspire thrice the amount of “hope you feel better” comments than even you could imagine. :-)
I know that the loss of independence is the hardest part and I second (third, hell, N-th) the comments saying that asking others for a bit of support might be a good thing.
My cliche for the evening: This, too, shall pass. Also.
Jack The Second
Are you forbidden from all exercise, or would a recumbent exercise bike be acceptable? I’ve never used one with an injury, but I put a lot of miles on mine while using a laptop (on a table on top of the bike). You’re just sitting in a chair while peddling, with your torso motionless, not using your arms at all, so it seems somewhat plausible.
A chording keyboard might also be useful. A chording keyboard is held (and typed) with one hand, so either you could learn to use just your left hand, or if your right hand is OK but just awkwardly positioned, you could hold the chording keyboard in your right hand, where ever it needs to be.
Ella in NM
As an ICU nurse, I can attest to the experience of how much pain you are in vs. just how aggressive your medical team ISN’T in treating your pain. You= 10, your team =3.
Demand that you get better pain management, NOW. There is no reward for being so miserable you descend into pain hell. Get. Someone. To. Listen. To. You. NOW.
Hope you feel better.
Welcome to my (leftie) world ! I am the world’s biggest WATB, so I have total sympathy. Also, nausea med to take with pain med can be helpful. Ella’s advice above sounds good, too.
ice, ice, baby….
Get some YakTrax for walking in the snow – you’ll be amazed. You can walk with security. As one of those elderly who has had to recover from surgery, you will also recover, and sometimes it’s just great to bitch and relieve the frustration a little. Get some sweatpants – lots easier for now.
@General Winfield Stuck:
Good song, General. I was playing that over and over just the other day.
Edit: And of course “I Saw the Light.”
Oh, man, that article made me tear up, especially the picture. I broke my jaw three years ago–two separate breaks, one a compound fracture–and still have aftereffects, but I can’t begin to imagine what Ebert has gone through. But my body memory gives me a hint. Plus I admire him as a film critic and writer. So thanks for posting that. I mean it.
The other thing is that I have been going through this thread (belatedly, as usual), trying to think what I could say to Cole that would be helpful or inspirational. I got nothing. The experience of pain–real pain–is so singular and so personal that no one can really be with you on that journey. It’s different for each person. My only advice, Cole, is to let go of your expectations (e.g., “After three weeks I shouldn’t still be in pain”) and simply be obedient to your awareness in the moment. Sorry to get all oogly-googly, but you should just try to stay in the moment and deal with that. Let go of the idea of “normal life” for a while. It really will help.
Sending healing energy your way.
Christ, if beard itch is an issue you ain’t hurt very damn bad. If I remember correctly thirty years later, it goes away after less than a week. It is a lot of fun trying to remove one though.
You know, I am stage IIIB NSCLC lung cancer and I complain a lot too, but next to this guy, John, you and me, we got nuthin’:
I had a hip replacement a couple of years ago (I was 51), I know what you are going through. The leg felt much worse because of all the swelling, but the hip felt better immediately. I took it fairly philosophically.
Someone probably already covered this, but switch to boxer-briefs.
Boxers shift uncomfortably, imho; Boxer-briefs are the best of both worlds.
I broke my leg in a 2 places a couple of years ago, in Maine, in March, when we got 50+ inches of snow – and my neighber’s rotten tree broke and smashed the front of my car.
I couldn’t do a darn thing.
It sucked so bad it was almost comical.
Oh, man, that stinks. Poor baby. I mean it. It’s that every single thing is difficult.
Well, at least when you rub one out it will feel like someone else is doing it. Or does it hurt too much to do that too?
This won’t seem like much, but there will be an icy day, perhaps years from now, where you realize a few moments after you walked in the door that you did it like you used to, without worrying about falling, perhaps while even thinking about something trivial like whether or not you made a call or have enough broth for what you’re making for dinner, and it will be a huge relief.
All of it sucks, and I agree w/above that February only makes it worse, especially with all the snow and ice you’ve had. And I freaking hate PTs. Take anti-inflammatories before you go, and find out if you can take benedryl; it also has anti-inflammatory properties, and might be a good choice to help you sleep after therapy since it lasts 4-6 hours for most people.
Wait! Let me call you a WAAA-mbulance. When I fractured my pelvis into 3 pieces I got no rehab – my insurance company wouldn’t cover it. I had to learn to walk all over again by myself. You think your arm hurts? Imagine that pain at the core of your body multiplied a bit. You think you are deeply injured by difficulty in sleeping or eating cuz your arm is in a sling? HA! I’d trade you any day.
There, is “tough love” better than “I hope you feel better”?
Now if you don’t straighten up & fly right I’ll tell you about being trapped in a public rest room because the door allowed my wheel chair in but not out.
That which does not kill us only hurts like hell.
I won’t say hope you feel better. I’ll say boo-hoo biatch.
I’m having neck surgery in about three hours and I’ll be laid up for three weeks, probably take the next six months to recover and I;m supposed to feel bad about your little boo-boo.
Sod off. :-)
Those are some beautiful boobies. The last time I saw a pair like that I was in South America.
When the worst is over, you will forget the pain. That’s the great thing about the human body.
On the other hand (OTOH) – it will probably bother you off and on for the rest of your life. It’s a bitch.