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You are here: Home / Politics / Religion / This is for Bart

This is for Bart

by @heymistermix.com|  March 11, 20108:36 pm| 59 Comments

This post is in: Religion, Democratic Stupidity

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Since there’s a special rule that all Catholic Democrats can obstruct any legislation in conflict with their religion, just like all Jewish Democrats, and even all Muslim Democrats (those were added when Keith Ellison got elected), I thought this little educational video might help us better understand some of the Catholic teachings that Bart Stupak must never, ever violate.

It also will satisfy those who want more of the F-word on B-J.

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Reader Interactions

59Comments

  1. 1.

    arguingwithsignposts

    March 11, 2010 at 8:41 pm

    Oh, good. a god debate. just what b-j needs! (I’m just getting in before everybody else) :)

  2. 2.

    Mike Kay

    March 11, 2010 at 8:43 pm

    MoveOn.org polled it’s members on HCR and the overwhelming majority (83%) supports passing the bill.

    http://theplumline.whorunsgov.com/health-care/huge-majority-of-moveon-members-supports-passing-senate-bill/

    Funny, if you only read blogs you’d think 83% of liberal activists opposed the bill.

  3. 3.

    General Egali Tarian Stuck

    March 11, 2010 at 8:45 pm

    LOL. Baby Jeebus there mR mistermix, I wouldn’t go out in no thunderstorms for awhile. You give irreverence a good name.

  4. 4.

    MikeJ

    March 11, 2010 at 8:48 pm

    @General Egali Tarian Stuck: Just carry a one iron. Even got can’t hit one of those.

  5. 5.

    JenJen

    March 11, 2010 at 8:50 pm

    Hot Damn!! Do I ever love me some Louis CK.

    mistermix, my friend, you’re all right.

  6. 6.

    MikeTheZ

    March 11, 2010 at 8:50 pm

    Countdown covering how Congress is concerned about the revolving door between lobbying groups, automakers, and the NHTSA. Pot calling the kettle black much?

  7. 7.

    gbear

    March 11, 2010 at 8:52 pm

    That video had me blushing.

  8. 8.

    demo woman

    March 11, 2010 at 8:53 pm

    The ad that I see at the top of the page has a link to blessedsacrament.com and the ad wants me to become an apostle for the eucharist. Toooo funny. I probably would be rejected because I watched the video.

  9. 9.

    Loneoak

    March 11, 2010 at 8:54 pm

    LOL, the Catholic Church is really on a run lately, huh? Gay prostitutes coming into the Vatican, sexual abuse of choir boys supervised by the Pope’s brother, and cutting all spousal benefits for employees in D.C. just to avoid paying benefits to teh gheys.

  10. 10.

    John Cole

    March 11, 2010 at 8:54 pm

    Why was his show cancelled?

    Also, the best thing he has ever done is still that interview about flying:

  11. 11.

    gbear

    March 11, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    @MikeTheZ:

    Pot calling the kettle black much?

    MikeTheZ, you have to go check out this post on Sadly,No!

  12. 12.

    kid bitzer

    March 11, 2010 at 8:58 pm

    okay, kids: i already kicked in my 100 bucks to the saltonstall actblue fund linked below.

    why so much? maybe because i’m feeling flush, or maybe because i just love telling bart stupak to fuck himself.

    it’s a great feeling. get as much as you can afford.

  13. 13.

    mistermix

    March 11, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    @General Egali Tarian Stuck: Anything bad that happens to me is more proof of the non-existence of God, so no worries.

    @John Cole: The idiots at HBO canceled his show, apparently. It was great.

  14. 14.

    dmsilev

    March 11, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    @General Egali Tarian Stuck: From the great Terry Pratchett: “Let’s just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he’d be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting ‘All gods are bastards’.”

    -dms

  15. 15.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    March 11, 2010 at 9:01 pm

    Just took a Rasmussen phone poll. Right track/wrong track, what do you think of Obama. No questions about Republicans. Lots of questions about the Supreme Court, lots of bullshit false opposition questions “Should the USSC decide cases based on the Constiution, or a sense of fairness” “In politics, do you trust the judgment of the American people, or America’s poltiicians?”

  16. 16.

    SteveinSC

    March 11, 2010 at 9:02 pm

    I am an atheist, I oppose church interference in anything, I think believers are sadly ignorant, and even I think that video was uncalled for. If you think the Catholic Church is bad, well you haven’t even begun to dig into shit ’til you get to the bible-thumping protestant hypocrites. Somewhere down there you will also reach the orthodox Jews and their Muslim cousins.

  17. 17.

    mai naem

    March 11, 2010 at 9:05 pm

    I really like Rachel Maddow. I think she’s really underappreciated by all. She’s way sharper than most of the bimbos on punditland. Even though she’s a liberal, I really feel she would do one heck of an objective job on MTP. And, on yeah, can we please please get rid of discussion of religion and people’s personal/sexual crap in politics. If we did that, maybe we could get back to talking about HCR, climate change,Charlie Rangel, Ted Stevens etc. and whoever else really abuses the public’s trust.

  18. 18.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    March 11, 2010 at 9:05 pm

    Thanks for bringing up another painful childhood memory, asshole.

  19. 19.

    arguingwithsignposts

    March 11, 2010 at 9:06 pm

    @MikeTheZ:

    how Congress is concerned about the revolving door between lobbying groups, automakers, and the NHTSA. Pot calling the kettle black much?

    I seriously think half of the entire Washington “Zeitgeist” (for lack of a better term) is hypocrites calling the kettle black. There is no shame in that fever swamp, and I, for one, wish them all a stormy future. !$%@#$%@#$!

  20. 20.

    MikeJ

    March 11, 2010 at 9:06 pm

    @SteveinSC: Any one church that has 1/6th of the world’s population should expect to have more attention paid to its problems.

  21. 21.

    PeakVT

    March 11, 2010 at 9:09 pm

    Ugh. I’m really starting to hate Stupak, because the first thing I thought of when I saw the word “Bart” was him and not Bart Simpson.

  22. 22.

    freelancer

    March 11, 2010 at 9:10 pm

    @John Cole:

    Heh, I remember that. Weren’t you that guy, that day?

  23. 23.

    SteveinSC

    March 11, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    @PeakVT: I sent $25 to Act Blue to put at least some money against him.

    @mai naem: Much agree vis-a-vis Rachel. Didn’t see how her show could last, but last it has and good on it!

  24. 24.

    mr. whipple

    March 11, 2010 at 9:12 pm

    Pelosi call Bart’s bluff:

    House Democratic leaders abandoned a long struggle to strike a compromise on abortion in their ranks, gambling Thursday that they can secure the support for President Barack Obama’s sweeping health care legislation with showdown votes looming as early as next week.

    In doing so, they are all but counting out a small but potentially decisive group whose views on abortion coverage have become the principal hang-up for Democrats fighting to achieve the biggest change in American health care in generations. Congressional leaders are hoping they can find enough support from other wavering Democrats to pass legislation that only cleared the House by five votes in an earlier incarnation.

    http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2010/3/11/845302/-BREAKING:-Pelosi-Calls-Stupaks-Bluff:-NO-compromise!

  25. 25.

    kid bitzer

    March 11, 2010 at 9:15 pm

    so, sure: she looks great.

    do the high heels have anything to do with that fact?

    not in my book. in my book, the high heels are entirely beside the point.

    but i guess different strokes etc….

  26. 26.

    John Cole

    March 11, 2010 at 9:16 pm

    @freelancer: Indeed I was. It was on my trip to San Diego, and I was whining about something and a bevy of people told me to STFU.

    I’m worthless, but capable of learning.

  27. 27.

    Comrade Mary

    March 11, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    You’re not worthless, John. Lily loves you a lot, and Tunch is saving you for the lean times to come.

  28. 28.

    K. Grant

    March 11, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    @mr. whipple: Do you think that Bart and the 12 Stupaks will waver because they have been cut out of the deal-making process? This has got to be Pelosi’s thought, or else she wouldn’t cut them out quite so publicly. I may be wrong, but I certainly hope that this is the case.

    Gads, I cannot believe that there is a single Democrat willing to submarine the one issue that they have been running on longer than I have been alive. How do these people think that voting against this will endear them to any Democrat?

  29. 29.

    Douglas

    March 11, 2010 at 9:21 pm

    @mai naem:
    “And, on yeah, can we please please get rid of discussion of religion and people’s personal/sexual crap in politics.”

    Sure. I’d be glad to drop that as soon as the good christians stop attacking science due to the fairy tale they believe. And telling others who they can or can’t to marry. And murdering doctors and blowing up clinics. And objecting to an for an atheist (or jew, or muslism) president.

  30. 30.

    Corner Stone

    March 11, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    @John Cole:

    I’m worthless, but capable of learning.

    In your case the Arc of Learning is long, but bends toward eventually. Sometimes.

  31. 31.

    kuvasz

    March 11, 2010 at 9:23 pm

    roman catholicism is just too easy a target to hit. but i like their funny hats.

  32. 32.

    Jake

    March 11, 2010 at 9:25 pm

    This guy has balls…I wish more people had the guts to speak out against organized religion. The amount of wealth accumulated by those closest to God is unbelievable. The marriage of conservatives and the religious right is not only unethical, it is truly immoral. Religious nuts will kill science, quality education, and the environment to make a quick buck. Listened to a horrifying video of a religious nut who prayed to God to take over the media for Christ. Totally against the Constitution, while preaching love and commitment to the Constitution. Reagan’s only legacy was cementing the partnership with the religious right. Without this partnership, conservatives have nothing…No banner to hide behind, no principles to fundraise for, and no claim to protecting the rights of Americans against the evil progressives.

  33. 33.

    Cat Lady

    March 11, 2010 at 9:25 pm

    @John Cole:

    I just used the “making sparks” phone joke this very afternoon, and I’ve recently referred to an annoying asshole complainer as a “non-contributing zero” to great effect. Louis C. K. is my co-pilot.

  34. 34.

    mai naem

    March 11, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    Shorter Waxman to Stupak – “You really wanna be mah bitch dontcha.”
    Shorter Pelosi to Stupak – “You are going wish yo mama had aborted you”
    Shorter Rahmbo to Stupak – “You really want me to come into the shower with you? Well, do you punk?

  35. 35.

    freelancer

    March 11, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    This might be a played out joke (they have been fooling around with it all day at the new and improved [at best it’s a lateral move] LGM), but Glenn Beck has it in for me.

  36. 36.

    MikeTheZ

    March 11, 2010 at 9:31 pm

    @gbear: Wow, that’s priceless. And funny. And sad. And funny. Or something.

  37. 37.

    Mark S.

    March 11, 2010 at 9:33 pm

    @mr. whipple:


    Some interesting tidbits
    :

    Some anti-abortion Democrats say the Senate language is not sufficiently airtight to prevent taxpayer dollars from mingling with money that might be used to subsidize abortions. Others disagree, and party leaders acknowledged Thursday they can’t resolve the dispute using budget reconciliation rules.

    Tough shit, Bart.

    Republican and Democratic lawmakers quarreled Thursday over whether Obama must sign the Senate bill into law before Congress can make the changes, which Democrats see as crucial to making the overall package more politically palatable.

    Who cares? If the House passes the Senate bill, Obama will sign it approximately fifteen seconds later.

  38. 38.

    MikeJ

    March 11, 2010 at 9:33 pm

    @freelancer: They got rid of JSK, that’s got to be a big improvement. For the little things that need clean up, give ’em some time.

  39. 39.

    freelancer

    March 11, 2010 at 9:38 pm

    @MikeJ:

    Yeah, they aren’t having the hiccups that BJ did in its FYWP heydey.

  40. 40.

    patrick II

    March 11, 2010 at 9:39 pm

    My own theory on why the Catholic Church can be so dead set against abortion is because altar boys don’t get pregnant. If they were fucking nuns more often you would probably see a change in policy.

  41. 41.

    Annie

    March 11, 2010 at 9:45 pm

    @freelancer:

    I love it. I have been watching myself “outed” by Beck all day. However this was designed, it is awesome…Seeing my name on Beck’s blackboard is both uncomfortable and thrilling at the same time…

  42. 42.

    Mike Kay

    March 11, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    @kid bitzer: Who are you talking about?

  43. 43.

    El Cid

    March 11, 2010 at 10:03 pm

    @patrick II: There are a lot of Latin American Catholic priests, and there have been quite a lot of pregnant nuns throughout their history. But it doesn’t have to be a nun, because you can be a Roman Catholic Bishop in, say, Paraguay, be elected President ending the ruling party monopoly on power, be exposed as having had a child (or several) while under priestly vows, and still keep being President — because it would of course be silly to suggest that this would be cause to remove an elected leader from office.

  44. 44.

    kid bitzer

    March 11, 2010 at 10:07 pm

    @42–

    i’m getting a “project wonderful” ad in the left margin which shows a doll in high heels and not much else.

    it’s not entirely clear what it’s an ad for, but i’m pretty sure i’m not in the target audience.

  45. 45.

    Sharl

    March 11, 2010 at 10:11 pm

    @Mike Kay:

    I’m not @kid blitzer, but I’m guessing he’s referring to the sexy dame in heels, in the ads along the left side bar.

  46. 46.

    kid bitzer

    March 11, 2010 at 10:12 pm

    @45–
    thanks, shari–you got it. but there’s no el in my surname.

  47. 47.

    patrick II

    March 11, 2010 at 10:27 pm

    @El Cid“>

    For every Father Alberto Cutie we get about thirty or forty priestly boy fuckers. I was probably overgeneralizing — I am sure they fuck women too — I just seems to be more rare. Or at least written about more rarely.
    See Roman Catholic sex abuse cases by country
    Perhaps the rest of the world’s priests should hold the Latin American priests up as examples since it seems they may actually fuck women.

  48. 48.

    fraught

    March 11, 2010 at 10:32 pm

    Priests don’t fuck nuns or other women because women are the property of other men. Fathers, husbands don’t want to share their women with priests. So by a gradual process of elimination they arrived at boys as a solution to their problems (the one about sex, since just vowing not to have any doesn’t mean you’re not going to have any) they settled on boys. And the nuns and the parents became procurers, sending their kids off to be choirboys and altar boys. It all fits, like a hand in a glove (I guess there’s a better metaphor somewhere but it’s escaping me at the moment) as it were.
    A former choirboy

  49. 49.

    Dannie22

    March 11, 2010 at 10:33 pm

    Good night Mike Kay! Have a nice night.

  50. 50.

    Mike Kay

    March 11, 2010 at 10:39 pm

    You too, Dannie!

  51. 51.

    El Cid

    March 11, 2010 at 10:45 pm

    @patrick II: Let’s not forget that many Latin American Catholic priests also assist in birth control efforts. One was once asked by an interviewer if he didn’t recognize the supreme leadership of the Catholic church by the Pope. ‘Of course we do,’ he said, ‘we just don’t always do what he says.’

    Maybe it’s just me, but I haven’t seen Latin America emerge with the simply demonic levels of child rape that you’ve seen in the U.S. (and other developed nation) cases.

    Maybe it is because the Latin populations have had a bit more realistic expectations of the private life behavior of priests.

    No, Latin America’s Catholic hierarchy is more interested in allying itself with military tyrannies and slaughtering the heretics in good fashion, like when they cheered on the U.S.-backed assassination of liberation theologists by the thousands, or cheered the Guatemalan genocidalists in killing Mayan hill-dwelling Indians by the hundreds of thousands.

  52. 52.

    patrick II

    March 11, 2010 at 10:53 pm

    <a href="https://balloon-juice.com/2010/03/11/this-is-for-bart/comment-page-1/#comment-1621228
    You are actually supporting my original point (sadly, said only partly tongue in cheek). In Latin America where priests are evidently more likely to fuck women they more actively support birth control. In the U.S., where they fuck altar boys, they rigidly oppose birth control and abortion. As I said, altar boys don’t get pregnant.

  53. 53.

    fraught

    March 11, 2010 at 11:05 pm

    @El Cid: I think you’re right. There’s also a generational thing happening. The benign and genial older generation of boy-fuckers were liberal Vatican ll types who were coming around to gay-rights and female priests until they got a Soviet-bloc pope and those priest were seen as a bunch of Marys who were going to lose Africa to the Protestants of the evangelical persuasion.
    The younger priests are like Nazis, over-intellectualized, drunk with fervor, not interested in boys or girls, intent on world domination and secretly desirous of selling the Sistine Chapel to the highest bidder. Not your father’s church.

  54. 54.

    GReynoldsCT00

    March 12, 2010 at 6:58 am

    @John Cole:

    Hilarious, sharing that video today

  55. 55.

    jetan

    March 12, 2010 at 7:52 am

    @SteveinSC:

    I agree that this was not terribly helpful. There are many individual Catholic laypersons and clergy who are on the side of the good guys. Alienating them, particularly in unfair ways, doesn’t seem to me to accomplish much except in spreading the mantle of intolerance around a bit more evenly.

  56. 56.

    deadrody

    March 12, 2010 at 8:50 am

    Indeed. I’m sure insulting Catholics will help pass the Democrats agenda. Bravo.

  57. 57.

    Redshirt

    March 12, 2010 at 9:38 am

    I saw a Priest recruitment poster in St. Patrick’s Cathedral in NYC that was just bizarre – it’s catchphrase was “It Takes a Real Man to be a Priest” and the artwork hearkened back to WW2 Army propaganda posters. It was strange.

  58. 58.

    Boney Baloney

    March 25, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    Could be worse, you could be Mormon. Halfwits and dafties with no understanding of archaeology or paleology could be sniggering about polygamy. Like welfare queens buying steaks with food stamps, except with “The Temple of the God-Makers” as a kind of incomplete and poorly explained documentary.

    At least it’s conclusively demonstrated that El Papa (collectively) has enabled and facilitated child rape since Ceasar was a road guard. And Pope Ratzi was elbow deep in the last few generations’ violation the way Ambassador Powell was up to his nostrils in My Lai, and the redecoration of Uncle Tom’s Cabin on the eve of war, and who knows what all.

    I can’t help wondering if the crap in that vial was related to the anthrax mailed out to anti-war elected ones. Conservatives, by definition, would be horrified at the idea of wasting a finite resource like weapon grade anthrax. And yet, someone, somewhere along the line, someone in a position of executive authority, must have had half a brain. Oh well, we’ll never know.

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  1. Balloon Juice » Blog Archive » Two Hundred Boys says:
    March 25, 2010 at 6:50 am

    […] used to think that the notion that the Catholic Church is an institution devoted to fucking young boys was just a joke. But it’s clearly a […]

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