I’m obviously in a pretty angry and volatile mood, so I’ll just stop here.
by John Cole| 67 Comments
This post is in: Open Threads
by John Cole| 67 Comments
This post is in: Open Threads
I’m obviously in a pretty angry and volatile mood, so I’ll just stop here.
Comments are closed.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
Throw something. Throw several things. It always works for me. Plus, you can effectively transfer your mood to Tunch.
You’re angry so I don’t have to be.
Seriously though John, people should be angry and if they aren’t it’s, to borrow the cliche, because they aren’t paying attention.
John, take a couple of pictures of Tunch and Lily. Then post them for us. Everybody wins!
I’m in the same boat. I’ve been too mad to blog coherently since health care became a big debacle.
All right, ladies and gents! The action starts now! Over/under on the number of John Cole posts the rest of the night: 5!
STEP RIGHT UP AND PUT YOUR MONEY DOWN!
LA Confidential Pantload
What’s with all the pissing and moaning about a bunch of uniformed guys busting down a door in the middle of the night and coming in with guns blazing? We do that every fucking night in Afghanistan and Iraq, and neither of those is even our country. Man, y’all are some fainting-couch prima donnas.
you, john? angry and volatile? who’da thunk?
pet the cat, scratch the dog’s ears, pop open a microbrew and have a good evening.
@Mithras: Hell, I’ve been too mad to blog coherently since Bush was selected by the Supreme Court in 2000.
Of course, I could be blaming my lack of coherence on external factors rather than my own inherent incoherence, but, well, there it is.
What you need is a gun. It’s great stress release when you’re feeling agitated.
General Egali Tarian Stuck
I don’t know why. We have wingnuts, and maybe some others noodling around with eugenics for political discourse, cops wasting peoples caged pets, and Joe Lieberman wanting to create a People’s Court for citizenship and Gawd knows what else. The Gulf of Mexico is turning black, and Arizona declares war on brown people. I say just another tricky day here in the Land of the High and Mighty.
Maybe a big bowl of Hola Fruita might take the edge off. I am going to watch Burn’s Civil War to see if history is repeating itself, all over again. And hug my dog, of course.
John, do you have new bird pictures? Or how about a Lily or Tuncho photo? Those should be soothing.
Sure do understand and second that.
And I thought it was just me.
Give Tunch an “Atomic Headrub” and things will be better for both of you.
Amanda in the South Bay
Here’s another cop story that will probably (at least it did for me) make me freaked out and angry:
Post-op trans woman in DC gets housed with male prisoners, because…she lost her purse.
They are. On rural private property or at a licensed range, with a registered weapon that you don’t feel the need to jam in the small of your back to go to church, shop, or generally “be”.
Yeah, it’s been that kind of week. Me, I cut some wood, dug out my last 2 beers and a half-pound of leftover fried rice and am cooling down with Jon Stewart and Bob and Tom. Soon I’ll be asleep and I’ll feel much better tomorrow. Just a suggestion.
…so I’ll just stop here.
I’m guessing this means we’ll be seeing angry and volatile posts at roughly 15 minute intervals for awhile, then.
Oh John, I know we’re not technically supposed to get too touchy-feely around these parts (though clearly, the pet contingent failed to get the memo!), but I have to say: Thank you for falling on these swords for us all the time.
I’ll be honest – on bad days, I read this blog with a side-eye and often choose not to click on anything, because my frame of mind just can’t take it. But it is a real gift — and I mean that — knowing that you’re all here, keeping track of the shit for me.
And yes: Me, too. Angry, and volatile.
Good on the Phoenix Suns for pulling out the “Los Suns” unis and wearing them on Cinco de Mayo to protest the new Arizona law. I’m betting this was Steve Nash’s idea – he is, after all, a well known DFH from Canuckistan – with help from Grant Hill, whose mom was Hillary Clinton’s college roommate.
I was gonna ask “why?”, then went and read the last few posts. Ugh.
Snuggle with Tunch and Lily. Read a good book, listen to some good music. Drink something yummy, eat something yummier.
Hey, maybe I’ll take my own advice!
Pigs & Spiders
These are my favorite John Cole posts. I can picture him pacing back and forth in front of his keyboard, possibly muttering obscenities to himself, as Tunch lay sanguinely on the sofa and Lily hides beneath it.
Warms the cockles of my heart, it does.
Oh, ya? Let me tell you about my anger with a question.
How do you stop a stalker? Call his boss, call campus security, what?
Amanda in the South Bay
Eek, here is the link:
Know any 2nd amendment vigilantes? That would probably work where I live. Cops and campus security and both good places to start, though.
You think you’re pissed off. Went out to pick some lettuce from the veggie garden tonight and our groundhog had eaten it. All of it. Every last leaf on every last plant on every last row. Finished it off with the parsley and spinach. Little fugger. Not a thing left but some stumps.
candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker
Maryland has started passing some laws against some of this crap after the Mayor of Berwyn Heights had his dogs shot.
The day stuff like this doesn’t get me upset, I know I’m deep in a clinical depression and I have to get help.
@Svensker: Whistle pigs!
Noticed one of the site ads was for an e-card thing, and it showed a nice teddy bear carrying a big pot of lilies. Which is great, though it reminded me that, since we have cat owners in the audience here, I might as harp on this : do not under any circumstances bring those things (lilies) into proximity of your cat. Very toxic. Had to take my (now very expensive) rescue kitty to the vet for several days after it chomped on a wedding-related Easter lily. Only takes one leaf, apparently.
Randomly googled supporting link:
Happy Cinco de Mayo!
Now I wish I had a dime
for every single time
I’ve gotten stared down
For being in the wrong side of town.
And a rich man I’d be
if I had that kind of chips
lately I wanna smack the mouths
of these racists.
Podrás imaginarte desde afuera,
ser un Mexicano cruzando la frontera,
pensando en tu familia mientras que pasas,
dejando todo lo que conoces atrás.
Si tuvieras tú que esquivar las balas
de unos cuantos gringos rancheros
Las seguirás diciendo good for nothing wetback?
si tuvieras tú que empezar de cero.
Now why don’t you look down
to where your feet is planted
That U.S. soil that makes you take shit for granted
If not for Santa Ana, just to let you know
That where your feet are planted would be Mexico
Seriously. I can’t even begin to explain how many times I have changed routes across the campus to where I have to go in order to avoid him. Now he hides near my office and comes out as I approach the door. About a year ago, he said hi as I was walking across our inner plaza and I said hi back. This is all it took.
This never happened to me when I was young and single.
Yes, I will have to go to campus security.
@HRA: Don’t let him think you are afraid of him.
@LA Confidential Pantload:
Agreed. Except pretty much all the time we indiscriminately kill several actual people. No one here’s going to blink about it. Except to tell you a little sum sum bout political realities and setch.
@Pigs & Spiders:
LOL…Me, too. Great image.
I don’t know whether this has already been addressed or not, but it looks like Netflix fixed the sound on the instant watch of Ken Burns’ Civil War.
Who is the guy? Does he work on campus? Do you know anything about him?
The problem always is you don’t know what kind of crazy he is. If he’s just a timid slightly nutty guy, having campus security have a talk with him could end his infatuation toot sweet. (This worked for me with a peeping tom, once.) But maybe he’s vengeful or really weird. Talk to security, definitely — and ask them to see if he has any record or history. In the meantime, make sure your interactions with him have no emotional weight — no fear, no disgust, no anger — all those things could just feed whatever sickness he’s got going.
Another possibility — don’t think I’m totally weird, but this worked for me not with a stalker, but with a guy who tried to molest me once. It totally freaked him out: I acted strange and disgusting. Snorted, burped, blew snot out of my nose, scratched my pits while making strange noises, laughed insanely to myself while muttering. He let go of me and ran off to find a more appetizing victim. You might want to talk to co-workers and friends before trying this but it could work. Also talk to co-workers and friends/acquaintances on campus and ask them to “buddy” you — keep an eye out for you and on him.
So sorry you’re going through this. Ugh ugh ugh.
South of I-10
I am still pissed from watching the video, I have about a million things due at work and now Little South is running fever. Guess who is working from home tomorrow?
Ok, how’s about some good news: You know the whole “Muslins r all radikul terrorists” meme?
It turns out that the first person who called attention to the would-be car-bomb in Times Square was… A MUSLIM!
No, really! Muslims can be heroes too!
I’ve told HR about your outbursts. Not to be a snitch–I just thought I was doing you a favour, since you obviously have emotional trouble.
General Egali Tarian Stuck
@J.W. Hamner: Yes, I announced it last night late. Am about to dive in.
I am doing my best in that respect.
@General Egali Tarian Stuck:
I figured as much… but I’m honestly shocked that it’s as awesome as I remember.
@SiubhanDuinne: Replying to your question in the Obey thread. My kittehs have were at war for almost 6 weeks, one of my cats attacked the other one (it was case of redirected aggression, he saw a cat outside the house, just outside the french windows got agitated and attacked my other cat. It was really bad, my husband tried to intervene and he got badly scratched. I had to keep them apart, because cat that was attacked was terrified and there was low pitched growling even when saw my other cat. This stalemate continued for weeks and weeks things are cooling down, with occasional skirmishes. My kittehs have been the best of friends before this incident and been together for about 6 years.
Yes, he works for the Grounds dept. on campus. I tried calling his supervisor twice and all I got was a voice mail. I don’t want to leave a recording. This was on the recommendation of a friend who also works as a carpenter on campus.
A student that I talked to for all her years on campus did not recommend calling the supervisor. She wanted me to tell him I was not interested in any relationship. I can’t take a chance on his reaction.
He has been acting psycho IMO. I totally ignore him and he just does not get it.
Here, stare at this for awhile…you’ll feel better.
Or if that doesn’t work, stare at this.
@HRA: You are totally right to be apprehensive about this. I just finished reading The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker, and you don’t want to confront, you don’t want to send anyone around to scare him, and you can’t handle this yourself.
You do need to enlist real professionals; not well-meaning amateurs. Which brings me to the end of my expertise.
But honestly; I would listen to my apprehension. And fast.
@HRA: Some schools have someone on staff who deals with harassment issues. Is there one where you work?
And I agree with the person who advised you not to talk with him.
kommrade reproductive vigor
It is spring, when this young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of slaughtering every single ant in the universe.
No, really. Fuck the circle of life, the bastards got in my god damn Corn Pops.
@RedKitten: definitely the two-piece jammies!
@scav: I know. The little tiny feet poking out of the jammies, and the little edge of his diaper peeking out — it just slays me.
Enjoy that little doll baby, Redkitten. I just took my middle son (who turned 21 last week) to the airport this morning. He’s going to work for Americorps until November. I miss him already.
We don’t have anyone at our place to deal with harassment. I think that may be under Human Resources.
There is a worker upstairs at the Circulation dept. whose husband is with campus security. I was thinking of going to talk to him about it.
I came to the need for action yesterday. I was coming from the parking lot over to my office when I spotted him in his golf cart circling my office door. I waited under cover for 10 minutes, crossed the street, and was almost to the door when he came out of nowhere barreling past me too closely and waving his hand. I did not acknowledge him and got in the door without looking back.
@HRA: It just set off all my spooky detectors; it’s just not normal for someone to persist when they are being ignored, but you are absolutely right to not engage.
The problem is that dealing with such people is not common; and people’s advice is going to be based on normal people; which it would seem he is not.
I would use such university connections as you might have to seek out advice from a psychologist or someone who has actual experience.
If you seek help from security people; they will have a security solution. Friends will have bad date solutions… and so forth.
You need someone with spooky experience; like the FBI or a psychiatrist or something like that.
Sorry for butting in and carrying on, but I feel strongly that this is something that a) men don’t understand, and yet are responsible for handling it, and b) you’ve already got alarms going off, which means taking it seriously is not overreacting.
I’ve chimed in before on this as have others. But hell yeah. Live every second you can with him. Right now, today, tomorrow, this weekend. Just enjoy it and soak it up. I may never say another useful thing on this blog but this is true.
Mine is 5 yrs old, 4ft tall and 50lb’s. I talk with him, wrestle around, BS, etc every day, and it’s never enough.
“Stop here”? Don’t be a wimp. Let your freak flag fly.
@HRA: I’m glad you are taking it seriously, and I third or fourth the decision to talk to the security guard. Stalkers are not normal people. They have something broken in their heads that allow them to think, “This person, despite all actions to the contrary, wants me.” He sounds like he’s stepping up his behavior, too, which is worrisome. If security can’t handle it, you may need to go to the police. Oh, and having a paper trail of all your interactions can be helpful, too (I mean just jot them down, as repellent as that idea may be). Please keep us updated.
@gbear: Man. You really bring the MN folks showing their asses, don’t you? On the good side, the SC ruling on Ratface Pawlenty stepping over his boundaries with the draconian unallotment measures he took!
@ellaesther: Ditto this. I really appreciate you, Cole, and the other front pagers for wading through all this shit so I don’t have to read/watch it all. When I first started blogging, I had planned to be the lefty version of Michelle Malkin (still irks me the most prominent Asian woman in politics is her), but then I quickly realized that unless I wanted to be like her in every respect, I would have to do some serious research. I couldn’t stomach it. So, thanks. And, Cole, I like you angry. Most of your best posts come out of your righteous anger.
RedKitten, SamKitten is way too cute for his own good. Still, as adorable as he is in the jammies, there’s something about him grinning under a Megadeath toque that warms the cockles of my heart.
I have friends who have had problems with stalkers. One moved to another state and the guy followed her. You’ve gotten some good advice here. Contact campus security, but also the local police. Keep records, like asiangrrlMN said. Restraining orders can be effective in some cases. On the other hand, do you have any friends in biker gangs?
Do you have a big ugly guy friend who could tell him that he has noticed this guy watching HIS GIRL and he is getting very pissed off and it BETTER STOP. Make it not like it came from you and that he is protecting you — but that your friend is jealous and territorial and this creep had better not be looking at his woman or else.
And talk to campus security.
So sweet, so snuggly. What a darling. The pjs are slaying me.
@RedKitten: RedKitten, I don’t comment here much, but wanted to let you know that I had to look at that jammies pic twice. So precious! He is really a doll.
Mine are 13 (daughter) and 9 (son). That picture brings back great memories. I remember the days of two-piece baby pajamas like they were yesterday.
I also remember thinking they couldn’t be any more adorable than they were when they were babies, but I was wrong. It just gets better and more interesting all the time.
@HRA – Hey, I don’t know if you are going to re-visit this thread, but I can’t stop thinking about your unpleasant stalker situation. And of course I have suggestions. Like were-bear, I am trepidatious about barging in like I know stuff, but I am worried.
So: get ready for a combat situation. Do I mean carry a handgun? Lord, no: nothing that can be easily wrestled away from you, plus guns: never a good idea in daily life.
But do carry something. It could be one of those lemon juice dispensers that look like a lemon, and you squeeze and squirt. Or a travel-size can of hair spray. Something to deploy directly in his face that you know isn’t lethal, but that he doesn’t know whether it is, and something that will give you opportunity to run the hell away. A non-toxic spray paint might work too.
Also a big whistle or other noise-maker. Don’t wear it around your neck. And let folks in the vicinity know what type of noise-maker you’re packing.
Make extra-sure that your cell-phone is charged, that you’ve gathered up all of your papers and folders before you leave anywhere (so that you aren’t distracted and fumbling). Wear shoes you can escape in. Check your car carefully, underneath and in the backseat. Be aware that he might try to disable your car, so if your car doesn’t start, be on super high alert.
Don’t engage, as everyone has said. A stalker doesn’t get that you want him gone; he just gets that Yay! you talked to him again.
Don’t do that thing where you thread your keys between your knuckles – one man-sized paw squeezing your fist can really do some damage.
Also, you might want to think about hiring a PI to do a thorough, discreet background check – without talking to the guy directly.
Finally, you might want to spent some time right now in some personal war-gaming strategizing. That is, what are you willing to do? How far are you willing to go? If he escalates to a physical attack, are you prepared to do some repellent things? Forget the knee to the groin. Can you use your fingers as weapon and stab them into his eyes? Can you shove your fingers way up his nose? Can you kick his fucking golf cart down a staircase? Can you do stuff that might make him dead?
Like everyone else, I am hoping that a non-engagement strategy will cause him to lose interest. But you know the saying: Train hard, fight easy.
I apologize in advance for being all presumptuous and possibly strange and off-putting.
You have my best wishes.