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You are here: Home / Folks like us

Folks like us

by DougJ|  May 28, 201012:51 pm| 194 Comments

This post is in: General Stupidity

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Do we really live in a world where bloggers can allege having had affairs with politicians and suddenly become national celebrities? Is this something we at Balloon-Juice should consider as a traffic maximization strategy? And who would be a good politician to claim I’ve had an affair with?

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Previous Post: « SestakGate
Next Post: I don’t really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end »

Reader Interactions

194Comments

  1. 1.

    Scott

    May 28, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    Well, obviously, Sarah Palin. She’s America’s Sweetheart!

  2. 2.

    Scuffletuffle

    May 28, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    I’m not averse to affairs personally, but I’m unable to think of a single elected official who I would be willing to admit to an affair with. My standards are low, certainly, but not that low.

    Dammit, wanted to be first…

    Dammit…whom…dammit

  3. 3.

    Ash Can

    May 28, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    Mitch McConnell.

  4. 4.

    handy

    May 28, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    Wait. Who? What?

  5. 5.

    Kennedy

    May 28, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    Michelle Bachmann

  6. 6.

    Killjoy

    May 28, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    Damn, beat to the punch by Kennedy

  7. 7.

    Mike in NC

    May 28, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    ‘Mean Jean’ Schmidt?

  8. 8.

    Tonybrown74

    May 28, 2010 at 12:57 pm

    Yeah … that story has been bothering me. Not that I want to come to the defense of Family Values hypocrite, but o far, I really haven’t seen any real evidence of an affair.

    Hours of phone calls and texts sound salacious until you find out that the blogger worked for Hailey during that time (so you would expect significant contact. Now you are hearing that there are photos to follow. I almost don’t believe it.

  9. 9.

    blahblahblah

    May 28, 2010 at 12:57 pm

    I vote for Mitch McConnell.

  10. 10.

    Captain Goto

    May 28, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    @Mike in NC: Oh, ICK.

  11. 11.

    licensed to kill time

    May 28, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    DougJ and Scott ‘Cosmo’ Brown. Guaranteed headlines, traffic stampede like a rabid elephant.

  12. 12.

    Alex K

    May 28, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    The Chicken Lady!

  13. 13.

    Lolis

    May 28, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    You should actually have the affair first.

  14. 14.

    Anonymous At Work

    May 28, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    Didn’t you mention showering with Rahm Emanuel?

  15. 15.

    fourlegsgood

    May 28, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    Sarah Palin, obviously!!

    Or how about Sue Lowden? you can spin tales about how she loved for you to wear a plushy chicken suit in the boudoir. Your clucking drove her to ecstasy!!!

    Clearly this would be traffic gold. The underpants gnomes would gnash their teefies in rage and envy.

  16. 16.

    Butch

    May 28, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    Newt Gingrich. I dare you to top the “uck” in that one.

  17. 17.

    fourlegsgood

    May 28, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    Feh. Alex beat me to it. But he didn’t give the salacious details, so I should get points for that.

  18. 18.

    fourlegsgood

    May 28, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    @Butch: I’ll take that bet.

    Karl Rove.

  19. 19.

    fourlegsgood

    May 28, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    Eric Cantor would be pretty cringe inducing as well. And funny.

  20. 20.

    Bruce (formerly Steve S.)

    May 28, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    Palin, of course. To give your story cred you might want to mention the Alaska-shaped mole on her left buttock.

  21. 21.

    Evan

    May 28, 2010 at 1:04 pm

    Ronald Reagan. Post June 5, 2004.

  22. 22.

    Ranger 3

    May 28, 2010 at 1:04 pm

    Mark Foley, FTW.

  23. 23.

    Loneoak

    May 28, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    Antonin Scalia.

  24. 24.

    Paris

    May 28, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    What about commenters? When do we get laid?

  25. 25.

    Uloborus

    May 28, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    Rachel Maddow. I hear she’s running for office.

  26. 26.

    C Nelson Reilly

    May 28, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    Don’t discriminate, do it with Rand Paul.

  27. 27.

    Xenos

    May 28, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    @Bruce (formerly Steve S.):

    Palin, of course. To give your story cred you might want to mention the Alaska-shaped mole on her left buttock

    Or you could declare that you know her ‘distinguishing characteristic’, such as the fact the she is, you know, female.

  28. 28.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    May 28, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    Elana Kagen. It would probably help her with some of the media types.

  29. 29.

    bmcchgo

    May 28, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    You could be Elana Kagen’s beard? Dangit, Belafon beat me to it!

  30. 30.

    fourlegsgood

    May 28, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    @Ranger 3: No, it needs to be a current candidate or a serving politician.

  31. 31.

    frankdawg

    May 28, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    Carly Fiorina while you wear a sheep suit

  32. 32.

    Zam

    May 28, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    Robert Byrd

  33. 33.

    GregB

    May 28, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    John Dingell

  34. 34.

    fucen tarmal

    May 28, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    sarah palin’s husband would be better.

    or john boehner, you just have to bath in a hot tub full of cheetoes before your tearful presser. that sort of visual makes things credible.

    michelle bachmann would be a fun choice, you can make up any kind of kinky sex stuff and it would be believable, the only thing that wouldn’t is that she likes it anvil-missionary.

  35. 35.

    frankdawg

    May 28, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    How about a manage-o-3 with the Maine team, Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins?

  36. 36.

    Mike Kay

    May 28, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    I banged Hillary!

  37. 37.

    celticdragonchick

    May 28, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    Sam Brownback or Rick Perry.

  38. 38.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    NANCY SMASH!

  39. 39.

    liberty60

    May 28, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    Didn’t one of you confront Eric Massa in the shower?

  40. 40.

    celticdragonchick

    May 28, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    @fucen tarmal:

    LMAO!

  41. 41.

    frankdawg

    May 28, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    @Zam:

    Bob Byrd, St Ronnie post 2004 – same diff

  42. 42.

    calling all toasters

    May 28, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    Gillibrand. Because you deserve the best.

  43. 43.

    QuaintIrene

    May 28, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    And since we should have one from the Libertarian side, Jesse Ventura.

  44. 44.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    @Corner Stone: No, seriously. I have quite the thing for her.

  45. 45.

    Steve

    May 28, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    I had what I thought was a good suggestion, but Larry Sinclair got there first.

  46. 46.

    frankdawg

    May 28, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    @celticdragonchick:

    Bareback with Brownback?

  47. 47.

    Joseph Nobles

    May 28, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    It can’t be too big a name, because people will think it’s too good to be true. But it has to be plausible.

    So my vote is Patrick McHenry from North Carolina’s 10th District. He just screams “What happens at Webelos camp stays at Webelos camp” to me.

  48. 48.

    Punchy

    May 28, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    Pam Geller. At least you’d get some boobies out of it.

  49. 49.

    fucen tarmal

    May 28, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    scott brown’s wife with the curious hand, or mrs. brown’s lovely daughters, to put a musical twist on things.

  50. 50.

    wrb

    May 28, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    Boehner with a bag over his head

  51. 51.

    Morzer

    May 28, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    Lindsay Graham. Claim you and Charlie Crist had a threesome and the teabaggers will explode in an orgy of gratified suspicion.

  52. 52.

    Michael

    May 28, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    @Kennedy:

    Michelle Bachmann

    Yup. Everybody knows that sex with crazy women is teh awesome. Its just the aftereffects and stalking afterward that sucks. You’d generate some degree of envy for the maximization of getting the freak on, with the pity that comes from the knowledge that you can never have a beloved pet live with you, ever.

  53. 53.

    Mike Kay

    May 28, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    I loofahed the Bush twins in the oval office, if ya know what i mean.

  54. 54.

    zmulls

    May 28, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    Joe Sestak. Obviously. That will create an irresistable Mobius strip of a story.

  55. 55.

    Michael D.

    May 28, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    I would like to see DougJ do the nasty with Kay Bailey Hutchison.

    No. Wait. I would like to select Kay Bailey Hutchison as Doug’s “affair” but I would NEVER want to hear or see anything about it.

  56. 56.

    Alex K

    May 28, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    Ted Kaufman, if you’re into the whole necrophilia thing.

  57. 57.

    artem1s

    May 28, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    @Butch:

    Cheney. but that’s necrophilia, innit it?

  58. 58.

    celticdragonchick

    May 28, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    @liberty60:

    Raum touched me in the shower. I felt a tingle go up my leg!

  59. 59.

    Froley

    May 28, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    Traficant. It’s always been Traficant.

  60. 60.

    celticdragonchick

    May 28, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    @Punchy:

    Yeah, but I suspect she dines on her mates afterwards.

  61. 61.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    @zmulls:

    Joe Sestak. Obviously. That will create an irresistable Mobius strip of a story.

    Quick! Have a reporter ask Sestak if he was offered sex with DougJ in return for him not snuff filming him and Specter.

  62. 62.

    fucen tarmal

    May 28, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    you could also flatter boehner by saying it was exactly like jerking off a can of beefaroni.

  63. 63.

    Mike Kay

    May 28, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    Liz cheney begged me to tie her up and to “waterboard” her (wink, wink).

  64. 64.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    @Froley: Is it just me or does Coburn look a hell of a lot like Traficant?

  65. 65.

    Josie

    May 28, 2010 at 1:17 pm

    Rick Perry

  66. 66.

    celticdragonchick

    May 28, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    @fucen tarmal:

    I did not need that mental image.

    *gag*

  67. 67.

    celticdragonchick

    May 28, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    @Mike Kay:

    Heh!

  68. 68.

    liberty60

    May 28, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    Wait, I change my vote to Rep. Virginia Foxx…produce a string of emails in which you refer to her as “Representative Foxxxy”, or how she was a Foxx in the Rooster house” or something.

    Ok, now I need a shower.

  69. 69.

    Leonard Stiltskin

    May 28, 2010 at 1:21 pm

    @Tonybrown74:

    Folks was a consultant to Haley for two years and was paid less than $5000, yet phone records show 34 hours of phone calls, many of them after midnight, including one for hours until 5 am.

    Several witnesses are on record as seeing Haley’s Cadillac parked for months at Folks’ townhouse during the time in question.

    What exactly are you bothered by? The stupidity of thinking that Haley paid $5000 for 100s of hours of “political consulting”?

  70. 70.

    Kevin Phillips Bong

    May 28, 2010 at 1:21 pm

    I hear Virginia Fox gives good dome. I’d hit it.

  71. 71.

    fucen tarmal

    May 28, 2010 at 1:22 pm

    in order to make real money, you have to film the exploits, and in today’s porn market, title is everything….

    colon pow! with colin powell! or how i learned to stop worrying and retired the general.

  72. 72.

    Mike Kay

    May 28, 2010 at 1:22 pm

    O.T.

    Palin erects 20 foot Berlin Wall

    http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20006215-503544.html

    Fucking crazy.

  73. 73.

    Quaker in a Basement

    May 28, 2010 at 1:23 pm

    Well, Elena Kagan, of course.

  74. 74.

    Butch

    May 28, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    @artem1s: @fourlegsgood: I gotta concede to you both. I guess I owe you a beer.

  75. 75.

    frankdawg

    May 28, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    @fucen tarmal:

    in order to make real money, you have to film the exploits, and in today’s porn market, title is everything….

    colon pow! with colin powell! or how i learned to stop worrying and retired the general.

    We have a new leader there!
    On the other hand, that title makes it sound like you have spent waaaaaayyy too much time thinking about it!

  76. 76.

    Alex S.

    May 28, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    Hmm, the good ones are already mentioned….

    …Jim Inhofe?

  77. 77.

    Comrade Dread

    May 28, 2010 at 1:26 pm

    Liz Cheney, but I’m not sure people would believe you since it’s well known that the Cheneys eat their mates after the act is completed.

  78. 78.

    Steve

    May 28, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    @Leonard Stiltskin:

    Several witnesses are on record as seeing Haley’s Cadillac parked for months at Folks’ townhouse during the time in question.

    I think “on record” means something different to me than it does to you.

  79. 79.

    Urza

    May 28, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    I’m late to the thread, but I vote you say you had an orgy with Obama. Anything to get this stupid Sestak stuff off the air. How many millions could they waste on that investigation when its standard business in Washington.

  80. 80.

    oliver's Neck

    May 28, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    Strom Thurmond!!

  81. 81.

    Mako

    May 28, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    Threesome back in the day. Me, Henry Kissinger and a quaalude-rattled barely-legal Tricia Nixon.

  82. 82.

    Todd

    May 28, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    Jane Hamsher

  83. 83.

    Trinity

    May 28, 2010 at 1:30 pm

    This thread is so full of win. You Juicers have made my boring afternoon teh lulz!

  84. 84.

    Zifnab

    May 28, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    @Mako: Tricia was pretty hot in her day. I’d do her.

    But I was thinking something more along the line of a C-Street Orgy with David Vitter as power bottom.

  85. 85.

    canuckistani

    May 28, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    Bristol Palin. We *know* the abstinence is all talk.

  86. 86.

    Morzer

    May 28, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    @Todd: @Todd:

    Only if you make clear that Grover Norquist supplied the crack and participated in a five day binge of drug-fuelled heathen perversity in a king-size bathtub filled with champagne and the corpse of the Bush administration.

  87. 87.

    PeakVT

    May 28, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    And who would be a good politician to claim I’ve had an affair with?

    Good for what: the country, or you? For the former, I’d say Inhofe.

  88. 88.

    ruemara

    May 28, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    This is the most gorge inducing thread on Balloon Juice ever.

  89. 89.

    Emma

    May 28, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    Y’all want to make me lose my delicious cream of broccoli soup, right? Straight into the monitor, right?

    Ick, Ick, Ick.

  90. 90.

    licensed to kill time

    May 28, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    Has anybody mentioned DougJ and Hillary? In the Oval Office if possible, and if Doug could wear a blue dress it would be teh awesome. Leave the cigar, take the dress.

  91. 91.

    Rafterman

    May 28, 2010 at 1:37 pm

    Add my vote for Bachmann.

  92. 92.

    slag

    May 28, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    Being a liberal, I don’t really care who you sleep with. Just please be sure to use protection. We don’t need any more accidents.

  93. 93.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 1:39 pm

    @licensed to kill time: Nice.

  94. 94.

    Morzer

    May 28, 2010 at 1:39 pm

    @Emma:

    Please. I don’t mind discussing Grover Norquist, DougJ, Jane Hamsher and Andrew Sullivan’s beagles locked in erotic congress, but there must be some limits.

  95. 95.

    Mike Kay

    May 28, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    @Todd: nah, I did her, she’s a cold fish in bed.

  96. 96.

    Bill Murray

    May 28, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    Ilona Staller — that is a capital eye followed by an “el”.

    “In 1991, Staller was among the founders of the political movement Partito dell’Amore (Love Party), spearheaded by her friend and fellow porn star Moana Pozzi. She has advocated absolute sexual freedom – “Love for All!”

    She renewed her offer to have sex with Saddam Hussein in October 2002, when Iraq was resisting international pressure to allow inspections for weapons of mass destruction, and in April 2006 made the same offer to Osama bin Laden. To this day, none of the above have accepted her offer.”

  97. 97.

    ruemara

    May 28, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    @Bill Murray:

    She renewed her offer to have sex with Saddam Hussein in October 2002, when Iraq was resisting international pressure to allow inspections for weapons of mass destruction, and in April 2006 made the same offer to Osama bin Laden. To this day, none of the above have accepted her offer for health reasons“.

    Fixed

  98. 98.

    LGRooney

    May 28, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    @Morzer: And Grover had to lick off some of the crack to show you how much you would lose if Uncle Sam got into the legalization biz. It was a discussion into the abusiveness of our drug wars, really! I paid him for his… er, he paid me for… er, no money exchanged hands. Wouldn’t want Uncle Sam swooping in to lick off some of that.

  99. 99.

    Zifnab

    May 28, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    @PeakVT: You think he’d stop getting ridden around by the oil industry so much if someone just said his safe word?

  100. 100.

    eric

    May 28, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    teh good: Mrs. Kucinich

    teh bad: Ms. bachmann

    teh ugly: Liz Cheney, so i can make off-color political commentary about how she made more sense while [fill in the blank]

    eric

  101. 101.

    anticontrarian

    May 28, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    Tom Tancredo.

  102. 102.

    Shawn in ShowMe

    May 28, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    Michael Steele pushed up on my woman but then he walked it back.

  103. 103.

    Zifnab

    May 28, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    @Emma: Wait, cream of brocolli? Are you throwing up or just really enjoying yourself?

  104. 104.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    May 28, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    Larry Craig.

    Best choice to torpedo any denial, since as far as he knows it might be true. Not having seen any faces, that is.

    Come to think of it, though, we don’t see yours either. The Internet is a lot like an airport bathroom when you think about it, except the tapping is on keyboards.

  105. 105.

    Sheila

    May 28, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    Robert Byrd. Then you could claim it without actually having to do it.

  106. 106.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    @Bill Murray: I just love it that the word “spearheaded” appears in this comment.

  107. 107.

    eric

    May 28, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    @anticontrarian: you know he wont let you cum north of the border

  108. 108.

    LGRooney

    May 28, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    @Bill Murray: But, per the CIA, Saddam and Osama are teh gey and it was their conjugal bid to force gay marriage rights into the Shariah that meant we had to invade! Poor Ilona would have been so bored as they would have had no time for her.

  109. 109.

    Martin

    May 28, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    I can’t believe nobody has said John McCain.

  110. 110.

    Dinah

    May 28, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    Ann Coulter, please Ann Coulter! She’s not a politician, but I guarantee an affair with her is a traffic maximization strategy. Especially if you give us the details.

  111. 111.

    Comrade Sock Puppet of the Great Satan

    May 28, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    Another for Bachmann. Something about those houndstooth jackets does it for me.

    But I’d have a lawyer standing by to serve the restraining order afterwards. ‘Cos the crazy is too much.

    Nobody mentioned Vitter yet? Even if you made him buy his own Depends?

  112. 112.

    LGRooney

    May 28, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    Do us some good down here in Virginia and make it Cuccinelli. Coochie- coochie-coo, indeed!

  113. 113.

    Sentient Puddle

    May 28, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    @Martin: I think because everybody’s trying to come up with a “good news” joke for it.

  114. 114.

    LGRooney

    May 28, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    @Dinah: Problem is that Lady Gaga has already shown us that woman with penis doesn’t sell that well.

  115. 115.

    Bobby Thomson

    May 28, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    Just make sure it’s a woman. Men can’t help bragging afterwards. That was Nikki Haley’s (alleged) mistake.

  116. 116.

    Persia

    May 28, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    Aim high: Michelle Obama. Talk about how she called you ‘whitey’ in bed.

  117. 117.

    brendancalling

    May 28, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    Arlen Specter and I have been making sweet sweet love since i was 17.

  118. 118.

    Tom Hilton

    May 28, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    Holy Joe Lieberman, of course.

  119. 119.

    LikeableInMyOwnWay

    May 28, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    Is this something we at Balloon-Juice should consider as a traffic maximization strategy?

    Yes. We want to see you slipping into a hotel with Michelle Bachmann. I promise you more page views if you do this.

    Also, too, I will take back every shitty thing I have said to you in the last five years. I swear.

  120. 120.

    TR

    May 28, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    Pat Toomey

  121. 121.

    Wile E. Quixote

    May 28, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    @frankdawg:

    Bareback with Brownback?

    Ick! Santorum everywhere. Burn the sheets when you’re done.

  122. 122.

    4tehlulz

    May 28, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    Threeway with Vladamir Putin and Sarah Palin.

    At least Vlad is hot.

  123. 123.

    Shawn in ShowMe

    May 28, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    @brendancalling

    Did he show you his magic bullet?

  124. 124.

    Michael

    May 28, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    The elephant in the room that everybody is afraid to mention:

    Married right wing chicks out on the prowl for men really do know how to get their freak on – its like they’re frenzied or something. If I was still into that sort of thing, I could run in those circles and get laid constantly by really depraved yet physically, um, talented and appreciative (even if batshit crazy) women just by going to wingnut events. I’m serious.

    If you really want to get laid, go to a wingnut conference or event and pick off 35-45 year olds who have traveled without their husbands. I’ve suspected that their husbands, being wingnuts themselves, tend to be completely selfish assholes in all facets of life.

  125. 125.

    brendancalling

    May 28, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    rough anal with Mary Landrieu in bondage gear (while she straps it on for Ben Nelson)

  126. 126.

    Morbo

    May 28, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    Margaret Thatcher. Let’s not be jingoistic here.

  127. 127.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    @brendancalling: God damn.

  128. 128.

    libarbarian

    May 28, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    @Dina

    I agree.

    Personally, I’ll bet that she likes to be spit on and called a “dirty liberal whore” before getting facialed.

  129. 129.

    williamc

    May 28, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    It would have to be a Dem so that people think, “why would he kneecap one of his own like that if it weren’t true?”

    I’m going to stake my claim to Jack Conway, Dem Senate nominee in Kentucky; he’s attractive, well-spoken, and hates Rand Paul like you do (means you have stuff in common), plus the media would run with it because it puts crazy-ass back in the game (Rand might be insane, but he’s not queer!), and you know how they love a good horserace/dogfight…

  130. 130.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    @Morbo: Are you saying that Imelda Marcos is now in the arena?

  131. 131.

    LikeableInMyOwnWay

    May 28, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    If you really want to get laid, go to a wingnut conference or event and pick off 35-45 year olds who have traveled without their husbands.

    What a chickenshit. Pick ’em off right in front of their husbands, if you have a hair on your ass.

  132. 132.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    @libarbarian: Good God.

    Where the fuck am I?

  133. 133.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 2:05 pm

    @Michael:

    Married right wing chicks out on the prowl for men really do know how to get their freak on – its like they’re frenzied or something. If I was still into that sort of thing

    Sooo…what’s the date on your death certificate then?

  134. 134.

    LikeableInMyOwnWay

    May 28, 2010 at 2:05 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    Where the fuck am I?

    At the bottom, compadre. At the bottom.

  135. 135.

    Martin

    May 28, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    @Sentient Puddle: I think Dougj should recount the escapades across McCain’s numerous homes, which walnuts always found exciting as he often felt he was seeing many of them for the first time.

  136. 136.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    @Persia:

    Aim high: Michelle Obama. Talk about how she called you ‘whitey’ in bed.

    Oh, I can guarantee you there would absolutely be a “I hate whitey” tape after that episode.

  137. 137.

    brendancalling

    May 28, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    @libarbarian:
    time for the classic on sex with Coulter.

    Adding bukkake party with Diane Feinstein, David Vitter dressed in a giant diaper, Mark Foley coated in rancid Crisco and an electric eel.

  138. 138.

    Mark S.

    May 28, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    How desperate do you have to be to have an affair with this guy? Were there no ex-cons available?

    Sarah Palin (who has endorsed Haley) weighs in:

    Well, whaddya know?

  139. 139.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    @LikeableInMyOwnWay:

    At the bottom, compadre. At the bottom.

    Win the Bottom?

    /hat tip srv in another thread

  140. 140.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    Honestly, as was mentioned earlier, you need a really good title to sell.
    That’s why, IMO, the only answer here is:
    The Ladies of Maine

  141. 141.

    Punchy

    May 28, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    Ann Curry from NBC news?

  142. 142.

    Mark S.

    May 28, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    @Mark S.:

    Here’s a link to Sarah.

  143. 143.

    jibeaux

    May 28, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    That’s so winny, it ought to be in the House at Pooh Corner.

  144. 144.

    Alain

    May 28, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    134 posts and no one stumbles onto the obvious choice:

    Massa

    I mean you already have a “history” with him, and lord knows, he likes snorkeling and ticklefights, so he’s easy prey…..

  145. 145.

    ruemara

    May 28, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    May I interrupt this repulsive line of thread with some techno geek news re: BP Volcano?
    http://www.hydro-international.com/news/id3898-BP_Approves_Oil_Separation_Device_Test.html

  146. 146.

    jibeaux

    May 28, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    I’m going to vote for Scott Brown, in the bed of a pickup truck, with a candlestick.

  147. 147.

    wmd

    May 28, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    Janet Reno.

  148. 148.

    Emma

    May 28, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    Zifnab: You know, I knew, the moment the “edit” button went away, someone would mention that….. The minds around here…. LOL

  149. 149.

    Michael

    May 28, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    Sooo…what’s the date on your death certificate then?

    Oh, I wouldn’t turn down an escapade. I meant if I was still into wingnut political events.

  150. 150.

    Wile E. Quixote

    May 28, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    @jibeaux:

    I’m going to vote for Scott Brown, in the bed of a pickup truck, with a candlestick.

    Is the candlestick being used for illumination? Or for other purposes?

  151. 151.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    May 28, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    How about Lindsey Graham?

  152. 152.

    JohnR

    May 28, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    116 to get Holy Joe? How disappointing – he was my first thought; the mental image of Droopy being brutalized (and loving it) made my day in a sort of perverse and horible way.

  153. 153.

    libarbarian

    May 28, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    @brendancalling

    I hadn’t seen that before. Lol.

  154. 154.

    daverave

    May 28, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    sandwiched between Bachmann and Pelosi, trying to get to each other, if you know what I mean.

  155. 155.

    sukabi

    May 28, 2010 at 2:27 pm

    Maximum Impact — a four-banger with Inhofe, Coburn and Lieberman… just because they complain about a lack of bipartisanship.

  156. 156.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    May 28, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    @Morzer:

    Damn, I should have searched for “Lindsay” before I posted. That’ll teach me to spell correctly.

  157. 157.

    robertdsc

    May 28, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    Teh Gillibrand iz no fair! Leeaaavvvvvvve herrrr alooooooone! /cry

    I vote for Blanche Lincoln with a side of Laura Bush, non-drugged edition.

  158. 158.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    May 28, 2010 at 2:29 pm

    Denny Hastert

  159. 159.

    Tonal Crow

    May 28, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    I vote for “carrying luggage” for George Rekers, while abusing him by reciting poems of your pining love for Jane Hamsher.

  160. 160.

    scav

    May 28, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    Benedictus XVI, Episcopus Romae a.k.a. Joseph Alois Ratzinger. This is BJ: we can multi-task.

  161. 161.

    Patriot 3

    May 28, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    Haley and Nikki

    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v127/Fantomas/haley.jpg

  162. 162.

    Tonal Crow

    May 28, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    @scav: You’ve gotta love the name “Ratzinger”.

  163. 163.

    sukabi

    May 28, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    @robertdsc: now you’re just talkin’ crazy… there is no “non-drugged” version of Laura Bush.

  164. 164.

    Califlander

    May 28, 2010 at 2:38 pm

    Rick Santorum.

    What? Too obvious?

  165. 165.

    scav

    May 28, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    @Patriot 3: oh noez, incidents overload and scandal miscegenation! I’m now watching the world being taken out by the Haley-BoP and the plunging Nikki marketz!
    @Tonal Crow: indeed. :)

  166. 166.

    Tonal Crow

    May 28, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    @Califlander: That requires at least one dog.

  167. 167.

    QuaintIrene

    May 28, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    In other romantic news…

    Radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh is set to marry his longtime girlfriend, Kathryn Rogers, next week in an intimate ceremony at his beachfront home in Palm Beach, Fla.

    Has she thought about interviewing any of the three previoius Mrs. Limbaughs?

  168. 168.

    Patriot 3

    May 28, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    @QuaintIrene: That’s wei@QuaintIrene: rd. I did not know that he liked women.

  169. 169.

    DMG

    May 28, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    Did anyone say Massa yet?

  170. 170.

    jibeaux

    May 28, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    @Wile E. Quixote:

    I’ve got enough faith in DougJ not to script the whole thing for him. I’m sure he’ll find good use(s). Afterwards, maybe he can reward himself with Miss Scarlet, in the parlor, with the rope. Although I understand the original model for Miss Scarlet in the board game is James Lipton’s wife, so might want to be careful there.

  171. 171.

    jibeaux

    May 28, 2010 at 2:45 pm

    @QuaintIrene:

    Not to mention the other concurrent girlfriends and underaged prostitutes….

  172. 172.

    jibeaux

    May 28, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    @Tonal Crow:

    It also could result in santorum. For those unaware of the internet tradition this is referring to, I recommend not googling Dan Savage’s definition if you have already had lunch.

  173. 173.

    YellowJournalism

    May 28, 2010 at 2:47 pm

    Kim Jong-Il

    I bet he’d call you “Mr. Clinton” in the throes of passion.

  174. 174.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 2:49 pm

    @sukabi:

    there is no “non-drugged” version of Laura Bush.

    And if there were, why would anyone want anything to do with her?

  175. 175.

    sacman701

    May 28, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    Euro 3-way with Angela Merkel and Nicolas Sarkozy.

  176. 176.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    @jibeaux:

    That’s so winny, it ought to be in the House at Pooh Corner.

    I’ve been shamelessly giggling about this for a while now. For more than one reason.
    Which I will not go into here. At least until the WH releases their report on it first.

  177. 177.

    Short Bus Bully

    May 28, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    Barbara Boxer weekend rendevous pleez. With the high rez pics.

  178. 178.

    Fenster

    May 28, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    You all can have Chicken Lady (Lowden) and Bible Spice (Palin).

    Elizabeth Kucinich and Krystal Ball. I’d love to be the dark meat in that sandwich.

  179. 179.

    YellowJournalism

    May 28, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    OT but Gary Coleman has died. Poor, messed-up guy.

  180. 180.

    Quicksand

    May 28, 2010 at 2:54 pm

    Gov. Jan Brewer.

  181. 181.

    RedKitten

    May 28, 2010 at 2:55 pm

    Jesus Christ, I really should not have read this thread after eating lunch. I’m just picturing WAY too many unappealing people naked right now.

  182. 182.

    sukabi

    May 28, 2010 at 2:56 pm

    @QuaintIrene: whatever happened to Darryl Kagan, the CNN hostess that he was diddling a while back… she seems to have disappeared.

  183. 183.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    @RedKitten: I’m naked right now.

  184. 184.

    Randy P

    May 28, 2010 at 3:00 pm

    Somebody somewhere is getting a journal paper out of this thread. “Sexual pathologies in the modern liberal”, something like that.

  185. 185.

    poledancer

    May 28, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    3 options…

    1) Watching Coulter burying the wood in Cantor’s ass and listening to him scream with pleasure…

    2) banging Michelle Malkin while wearing a Fidel Castro mask…

    or 3) Bachman, Palin, a roll of duct tape a carry on bag full of meth and disposable cameras.

  186. 186.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    May 28, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    I’m naked right now.

    Is this you?.

  187. 187.

    Patriot 3

    May 28, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    @brendancalling: for the best Ann Coulter article ever… “Soon she sat on my couch naked, gently pulling at her untrimmed pubic hair…” which for lack of bleach did not match the drapes…

  188. 188.

    Ash Can

    May 28, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    This thread has been up for just two hours, and it’s attracted over 180 little pieces of sheer depravity. ::sigh:: I love this community. ::wipes tear::

  189. 189.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 3:05 pm

    @J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford: That fucking bitch! She promised to delete that!
    She promised!!

  190. 190.

    arguingwithsignposts

    May 28, 2010 at 3:06 pm

    FFS, it’s /b/alloon juice!

  191. 191.

    Corner Stone

    May 28, 2010 at 3:07 pm

    @poledancer:

    banging Michelle Malkin while wearing a Fidel Castro mask

    Chang Kai-shek mask.

  192. 192.

    Patriot 3

    May 28, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    @sacman701: and whatever you do, don’t forget to (a) substitute Nick’s super hot wife for Nick, and (b) massage Angela’s shoulders…to most her reaction may say ‘no’ but she really means ‘yes’ unless you’re W. and then it means ‘get the f**k away from me, asshole!’

  193. 193.

    RedKitten

    May 28, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    @Corner Stone: Well, I usually assume that three-quarters of the commenters here are sans pants. But I certainly don’t need to imagine politicians that way.

  194. 194.

    Fred Fnord

    May 28, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    Gary Coleman!

    (What? Too soon?)

    -fred

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