Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

After roe, women are no longer free.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

A Senator Walker would also be an insult to reason, rationality, and decency.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

You are here: Home / You Guys Are On To My Secret Plan

You Guys Are On To My Secret Plan

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Some of you seriously need to get a grip:

John, do you have some kind of independent verification of this? Your word’s not much good on this. Couldn’t you have belonged under a different screen name? You were certainly beside yourself with offense when Journolist was finally brought down, and you’ve outed yourself as being fond of behind the scenes back and forth with other bloggers and public figures for which the eyes of your unwashed BJ regulars here are deemed unworthy.

You’ve got me dead to rights! I actually was a super secret member of JournOlist, using the pen name of “Dave Weigel.”

Seriously, people. I was never a member. And my problem with the publishing of the private emails had nothing to do with a fondness for behind the scenes chatter.

Reader Interactions

117Comments

  1. 1.

    BGinCHI

    People who tenaciously cling to a belief in conspiracies aren’t afraid of them. They WANT the conspiracy to be true.

    And this is because they lead meaningless lives.

    Dear Conspiracy Theorists: get some fresh air. Or maybe have sex. Or volunteer to help those less fortunate than you.

  2. 2.

    Kryptik

    What I’m amazed of is that the JournoList purging has spread to the left-wing bloggos, seemingly just like every single fucking right-wing meme eventually does.

    We really are completely hopeless as a political wing, aren’t we?

  4. 4.

    Dennis SGMM

    As a longtime, sometime, commenter, I can only say WTF? “…do you have some kind of independent verification of this?” I don’t believe that we’ve ever seen your Birth Certificate either.
    Just sayin’.

  6. 6.

    Kryptik

    How do we know our generous host really isn’t a psycho Islamobloggist, too? We need an investigation, post haste!

  9. 9.

    General Stuck

    Are you now, or have you ever been a member of Journolist. I want to remind you, that you are under oath Ms. Coales

  12. 12.

    Glenndacious Greenwaldian (formerly tim)

    You’ve got me dead to rights! I actually was a super secret member of JournOlist, using the pen name of “Dave Weigel.”

    I KNEW IT!

  14. 14.

    BTD

    Missing the obligatory “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

    Cuz there wasn’t. With the Journolist I mean.

  16. 16.

    Comrade Javamanphil

    Is it irresponsible to speculate that John Cole is a secret member of the gestapo journolist? It would be irresponsible not to!

  19. 19.

    Martin

    Fuck. And I thought you were Ezra Klein. I mean seriously, we’re supposed to believe somebody’s mom named them that on purpose?

  22. 22.

    jacy

    @BGinCHI:

    Dear Conspiracy Theorists: get some fresh air. Or maybe have sex. Or volunteer to help those less fortunate than you

    .

    They could kill two birds with one stone and have sex with those less fortunate than them. They could even do it outdoors. Trifecta!

  23. 23.

    Dennis SGMM

    @BGinCHI:
    Dunno, conspiracy-hugging seems, to me, to be close to religion. The requirement to find something big behind what just might be a series of random events is strong in some people.

  24. 24.

    Martin

    @BTD: Except that you guys were plotting the Marxist overthrow of the United States, one lamestream media attack at a time! Yeah, nothing wrong with a little insurrection, eh?

  26. 26.

    General Stuck

    @Tonal Crow: Spies always ask for bigger ears and eyes, and modern communications offers a lot of wet dreamy possibilities for snoops to snoop on. The battle is with congress on whether to give it to them.

  27. 27.

    beltane

    Maybe John Cole is really Rahm Emanuel. Maybe Tunch and Lily and Rosie are just photoshopped images used to deceive us. Someone must go check out this so-called John Cole’s countertops and tell us the truth.

  29. 29.

    BTD

    @Martin:

    Like John (and Groucho Marx), I would never want to be in a club that would have me as a member, but in this case, the Journolist did not want me as a member so I respectfully (begged) declined.

  35. 35.

    Tonal Crow

    @Rosalita: This proposal compounds what Bush did by (probably) making it illegal to use strong encryption without giving government the key. So, not only can they warrantlessly tap your phone/internet/whatever other communication channel you’re using, but they’ll (probably) be able to prosecute you for using strong encryption over it, unless you give them the key.

    This is very bad, and must be fought.

  36. 36.

    Martin

    @Tonal Crow: Well, I don’t see it as an invasion of our liberty. I see it as a stupid idea given easy and widespread access to personal encryption software. Fuck, state law requires me to encrypt my mundane work data to a degree that the NSA would be hard pressed to unpack. This law would simply allow them to decrypt the layer outside of the uncrackable state-mandated layer.

  37. 37.

    JenJen

    Damn, between the Journolist accusations and the Firebagging in general, I’m just LMFAO reading the blog today.

    I’m sure it’s not as funny to you as it is to me, Cole. But the hysterics are somewhat amusing to me today nonetheless. John Cole, a member of Journolist! I mean, that is just fucking hilarious to me.

  41. 41.

    Tsulagi

    John, do you have some kind of independent verification of this?

    That’s pretty good. Funny. Spoken with true birfer-like clarity of mind and deep thinkering: “Do you have some kind of independent verification your Muslim daddy didn’t destroy your Kenyan birth certificate? Because it just so fits in our brains.”

    Apparently washing doesn’t improve intelligence for some.

  42. 42.

    Tonal Crow

    @Martin: If this goes through, that software will probably be contraband, and any unauthorized user will, presumably, be subject to federal prosecution. I doubt it will be common or easy to get if that happens.

  43. 43.

    schrodinger's cat

    There is no John Cole, its Tunch’s website, John Cole is his nom de plume. We have seen Tunch but have we ever seen John? I rest my case.

  44. 44.

    gg

    John, do you have some kind of independent verification of this? Your word’s not much good on this.

    It’s very suspicious the JournOlist folks were clever enough to *not* collect a list of names of all the people *not* part of the list. If we had that list, we could definitely prove that John was *not* part of it. Or we could prove that John *was* part of it by showing that his name was *not* on the list of people *not* in JournOlist.

    I smell conspiracy!

  46. 46.

    Warren Terra

    We have only your word on this, Mr. Cole — if that is your real name.

    I think the key thing here is that in addition to finding the fact-free claims about Cole absurd, we shouldn’t back down on Journolist itself. I’m sure it was often smug and frequently stupid, but there was nothing wrong with it, and we should let neither the morons of the right nor the manic progressives of the Firebagger “left” claim that it is. It bothers me that this has become one more thing they can trundle out as an assumed automatic Bad Thing, without even needing to justify that assumption, just as they’ve tried done with the words “liberal” and “socia|ist”, just as they’ve seemingly made it a truism that Ronald Reagan was a big tax cutter who shrunk the government.

  47. 47.

    Algerine

    John, can you provide independent verification that you’re not the one who really fired Conan from the Tonight Show?

  49. 49.

    BH

    John:

    Provide us with some independent verification of exactly at what point you stopped beating your wife. We’re waiting.

  51. 51.

    hilzoy

    “This is one of those Juan Cole/John Cole issues, isn’t it?”

    No. Neither one was on JList, unless Juan Cole was lurking and never ever posted.

  52. 52.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @schrodinger’s cat: Actually we have seen images of a “cat” purported to be “Tunch” placed on the “internet” by someone purporting to be “John Cole.” If you can’t see what’s going on here… but I’ve said too much.

  53. 53.

    El Cid

    I was pretty offended by that recent story about the US military members in Afghanistan who regularly killed Afghan civilians for sport.

    I must have been there doing it too.

  55. 55.

    Mike

    I haven’t read through every post in every thread, but I hope everyone realizes that the original FDL post that started this is from March.

  56. 56.

    burnspbesq

    Yes, you’ve been caught red-handed.

    I sentence you to watch every remaining Pirates game this season. And don’t give me that shit about cruel and unusual punishment. The Pirates have sucked for 18 years in a row, so while it may be cruel, it’s not unusual.

  57. 57.

    jl

    I thought it was common knowledge that the rascally crotchety lovable character John Cole is a DougJ spoof.

  58. 58.

    Dennis SGMM

    @Tonal Crow:

    The myriads of overlapping agencies in our mighty security forces don’t know what to do with the mountains of data that they already have. People who really do want to send encrypted messages will come up with new methods. There is, for instance, stenography freeware available that enables you to hide a text message within an image file. All this amounts to is another reduction in our right to privacy in the interests of national security – no one will be any safer for it.

  59. 59.

    Crusty Dem

    I had assumed that “Glenndacious” was writting as a spoof. Which is something I’d never known before DougJ et al done ‘learned me a few years back. Between BJ and the Onion, I have finally attuned my spoof/parody/idiot radar.

    Unfortunately, this has leeched into my other reading/watching, with hilariously error-filled results. Examples:

    parody

    spoof

    Idiot

    Ok, I may have doubled up there, but spoof vs idiot is a tough one..

  60. 60.

    General Stuck

    @Tonal Crow: The spies have a separate mandate from Obama from congress. They can bypass him and go directly to congress if they wish and argue for new tools to meet the mandate congress has formerly given them. Obama can join in and support that request and formerly construct specific legislation and submit it to congress, or congress can construct and pass their own legislation, though always subject to a presnit veto.

    And in this case, it seems the proposal will come from Obama, likely has a collaborative effort to form legislation that is not yet settled on.

    There is not yet agreement on important elements, like how to word statutory language defining who counts as a communications service provider, according to several officials familiar with the deliberations.

    I don’t think it is unreasonable for the government to expand eavesdropping to the internet if done under probable cause and through the courts, like with telephones and other means of communication. The big problem seems to be specific to the nature of the internet and it’s problem with hackers exploiting back door means of access. And that could be a nightmare for everyone involved.

    edit – but then there is the Patriot Act, and I would fully oppose allowing it to be part of the mix, so I agree, this is likely to be further invasion of privacy with dubious constitutional foundations.

  62. 62.

    Mornington Crescent

    There’s no truth to the rumor that the JournOlist adminstrator was actually Christopher Marlowe.

  67. 67.

    burnspbesq

    I’m officially on overload on this issue. I just went and listened to the list song from “The Mikado” and it put it all into perspective. I think.

  68. 68.

    Dennis SGMM

    @General Stuck:

    The big problem seems to be specific to the nature of the internet and it’s problem with hackers exploiting back door means of access.

    Yep. Ask anyone who’s been involved with Oracle for very long about back door vulnerabilities. Mandating back doors is lunacy because people will find them and the recent stuxnet virus episode suggests that state actors are willing to use any vulnerability to craft an attack, let alone eavesdrop. Non-state actors are likely rubbing their hands with glee at the thought that our own government is poised to make their work easier.

  71. 71.

    the farmer

    John Cole, do you deny that you and Rahm Emanuel were married in a secret ceremony in Brazil in 2009?

    *

  73. 73.

    Tonal Crow

    @Dennis SGMM: Yes on all counts. Also, terrorists and dedicated criminals will still use strong encryption while keeping their keys secret. This bill deprives citizens of Liberty while doing precious little to enhance their safety.

    Obama needs a real spanking on this one. Sharpen those LTE pencils.

  74. 74.

    eemom

    um, excuse me? Has everyone forgotten that as recently as last week, two of the three major credit scoring entities, plus the primary servicer of Internet payment transactions, were on record as refusing to verify the existence of any alleged “John Cole”?

  75. 75.

    El Cid

    This seems like a good time to block a program like this:

    Jaquayla Burton’s job will end this week unless the Senate does an about-face and decides to preserve a welfare-to-work program that created more than 240,000 jobs as part of the stimulus bill.
    __
    “I wish they would because on Friday I’ll have to sign up for unemployment. I don’t feel good about that,” said Burton, 20, in an interview with HuffPost. “It’s hard because I have two kids to take care of. I’ve been working here nine months and it’s kind of stable at home, and then on Friday I’ll be unemployed.”…
    __
    …The 2009 stimulus bill created an “Emergency Fund” that allowed states to subsidize jobs via the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program (TANF), formerly known as welfare. The Senate voted against reauthorizing the program in May. Last week Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) blocked a request to bring up a bill that contained a $1.5 billion reauthorization. Advocates of the program are not optimistic that a change of heart is afoot in the U.S. Senate.
    __
    The Center on Budget and Policy Priorities estimates that the program put more than 240,000 otherwise unemployed people to work in 37 states, including 45,000 people in California. The program even has the approval of the American Enterprise Institute’s Kevin Hassett, who calls it “a pretty cost-effective way to create jobs.”

    Powerful political and business leaders first prefer that the poor and struggling just quietly starve and die, and next prefer that they receive little and punitive welfare and unemployment benefits while being derided as parasites, and they never endorse any system of public employment, because of course no one wants any suggestion that soshullism works.

  76. 76.

    eco2geek

    WTF?

    So there was a private Google forum (however private a forum with ~400 members can be) with journalists and academics as members. And? They talked amongst themselves? Oh. My. God.

    That it caused (and still causes) such poutrage among some people, and led David Weigel to resign from The Post, makes me question those peoples’ (a) sanity, (b) level of intelligence, (c) motives, and, often, (d) all of the above.

  77. 77.

    Bruce (formerly Steve S.)

    Seriously, people. I was never a member.

    Sure, John. And Accountability Now is a “PAC”. Sure thing.

    It will be easy enough to put this to rest. Give us access to all your e-mails since 2007. If you have nothing to hide then there is nothing to worry about.

  79. 79.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    Maybe she meant Emily’s List.

    Fran’s List?

    Nixon’s enemies list?

    He speaks with a list?

    Okay, I got nothing.

  82. 82.

    Dennis SGMM

    @Tonal Crow:
    As far as exchanging messages it would be simple enough to use brute force discovery of passwords to find any number of unused email accounts registered to perfectly innocent people and to use them until they were compromised. Imagine the fun when the FBI hauls in someone’s granny for exchanging strongly encrypted messages with the Kombinat.

  85. 85.

    The Pale Scot

    Also, I have independent verification that John knows SASQUATCH ISRAEL!

    And I paid for knowledge by having to look up how to spell SASQUATCH. Why isn’t in the spell checker? Obviously a conspiracy is afoot.

  86. 86.

    Martin

    @Tonal Crow: Uh, no. That’s simply not possible. Fuck, nobody could be in compliance with HIPAA if they did that.

    This idea is far more stupid than it is evil.

  87. 87.

    D-Chance.

    If not JournOlist, then exactly what super-secret cabal of evil liberal miscreants ARE you a member of, Cole?

  88. 88.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I’m sorry to have to say this, but you all are fools. How can you not see that John Cole has hypnotized you with his shiny blog and his NLP (Nomnomnom Lily Puppeh) and his “Steelers” code language.

  90. 90.

    burnspbesq

    It is rare for me to be pissed at Greenwald for understating the seriousness of a threat to civil liberties, but I am in this case.

    No, Glenn, you can never win.

  93. 93.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @burnspbesq #67:

    They’re all on JournOlist
    They’re all on JournOlist,
    And they’ll none of ’em be missed,
    I’m sure they’ll not be missed!

  95. 95.

    Kerry Reid

    Well, if you can’t prove you weren’t on JournoList, then clearly you must have been.

    Also, we will need to see your real birth certificate.

    By the way, has anybody ever seen Jane Hamsher and Orly Taitz in the same room?

  105. 105.

    Karyn

    How DARE you, sir?! How dare you have private conversations with other people without telling ME, your semi-regular, completely-unknown-to-you reader?! It’s an outrage, an OUTRAGE I tell you!! The next thing I know I’ll hear that you’ve been having PHONE conversations with family members that you haven’t released transcripts of! You have a blog, sir, and that means you answer to teh internets now. When you poured your soul into the series of tubes you made a deal. I demand you release the tapes of your conversations with Tunch now, sir. Your denials of such tapes are based only on your word, which is not much good around here – after all, it is merely an abstract of your original thoughts, not the official document.

  106. 106.

    db

    John Cole is right.

    How do you have time to ponder all this preposterous crap?

    Here’s a quick check on your sanity:

    1) Go to a local store (hardware, grocery, plumbing, restaurant, etc).
    2) Rant about the JournOlist to your server, check out person, etc.
    3) If the person helping you has no idea WTF you are talking about, you are nuts.
    4) If the person helping you rants with you you are both nuts.

  110. 110.

    burnspbesq

    We’re all John Cole.

    And John Cole is all of us.

    We are O-Borg.

    All shall be assimilated.

    Resistance is futile.

  115. 115.

    RadioOne

    that guy sounds about as rooted in reality as Glenn Beck is. I had no idea that some on the left were as obsessed with the Journolist conspiracy as the tea party is. Actually, with the exception of Tucker Carlson, I didn’t think many conservatives really cared much about Journolist at all.

  116. 116.

    lawnorder

    You’ve got me dead to rights! I actually was a super secret member of JournOlist, using the pen name of “Dave Weigel.”

    :p

    This cranky sense of humor is what makes me come to this blog every day

    Now fess up John, you are the mole Tucker Carlson put on journolist, aren’t you ? Either you or Tunch ;)

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