Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Ron DeSantis, the grand wizard, oops, governor of FL

In my day, never was longer.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

A consequence of cucumbers

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

Not all heroes wear capes.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

No one could have predicted…

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Bad news for Ron DeSantis is great news for America.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

“Cheese and Kraken paired together for the appetizer trial.”

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Statistical note

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The Giants have nine sacks tonight at the half. The single game record is 12.

This may necessitate skipping the regular 10 pm “Mad Men” and watching the 11 pm encore presentation instead.

On another football note, how bad is Cutler? How does he compare with, say, the awful Rex Grossman?

Reader Interactions

129Comments

  1. 1.

    burnspbesq

    Congratulations to the U.S. national women’s basketball team, which defeated the Czech Republic in the final of the world championship earlier today.

    i still don’t like Auriemma.

  2. 2.

    morzer

    Cutler’s annoying, petulant and generally deserves to be scragged – but is getting next to no protection. Hard to say how good or bad he really is.

    Also, I think you mean “9 nfl sacks at the half”, which is a new record for sacks in a half.

  4. 4.

    DougJ is the business and economics editor for Balloon Juice.

    @morzer:

    I had written eight and was washing dishes when I saw the ninth, and I made a typo writing it in.

  6. 6.

    thomas Levenson

    So totally beyond my area of expertise, but let me say that Cutler is kind of like the Dave Kingman of football — a prodigious talent with no real head — and Grossman was just awful.

    Neither will take you very far, but Cutler is much more entertaining.

  9. 9.

    fucen tarmal

    cutler isn’t a bad qb, for perspective peyton manning would be curled up on the side line in the fetal position if you made him play behind an offensive line that was this bad in 1-on-1 pass pro, and the offensive coordinator refused to add protectors, and continued, psychotically to call these plays…

  10. 10.

    JB Wanger

    They may have to sit him for the rest of the game. He’s a far better QB than Rex with far more of an physical upside. At his best he’s a world beater and one sees glimpses of that, not tonight, obviously. He’s clearly a “million dollar arm and a ten cent head” as they say, and he lacks that mental grit and determination of Payton Manning, or even Kyle Orton. The Giants are really bad however, so if they can get Cutler to do quick short passes and get some momentum going, who knows.

  11. 11.

    morzer

    @thomas Levenson:

    Cutler’s really the heir to the Favre tradition of needless interceptions, but lacks the old villain’s record of slightly surprising triumphs to compensate.

  12. 12.

    burnspbesq

    Hey, any sign of BGinChi? He said he was going to jump off a building if Liverpool lost to Blackpool. And they did.

    Sad to see Liverpool falling apart. It’s like watching Carolina go 8-20, but without the benefit of any schadenfreude.

  16. 16.

    Lincoln

    Awful game, the giants have 9 sacks and are ahead 3-0 at the half.

    Don’t waste your time. Watch the hightlights later, if there any other than the sacks.

  17. 17.

    carlos the dwarf

    There’s a reason Jay Cutler is not starting tonight for my BJFL team. That’s because I predicted this. Not the NFL record, per se. But the Giants defense is only good at one thing–pressuring the QB–while the Bears offensive line has been bad all season long. Cutler will bounce back next week, I’m calling it now.

    /self-congratulation

  19. 19.

    morzer

    @Lincoln:

    At this rate the highlights will consist of variants on “And Cutler goes down – AGAIN!” plus the Giants’ field goal.

  21. 21.

    thomas Levenson

    @morzer: My guess is that it’s the one that reassembles 22 counters in various patterns to perform unique functions like “the 4-3” which by transformation becomes “the 3-4” or even, often in the late stages of calculations that involve counting backwards from sixty to zero, the terrifying “2-1-8.”

    I’m betting that this time, TB+EE for Balloon Juice failed to carry the left tackle — which I believe is the problem that the Chicago offensive line is also having.

  22. 22.

    thomas Levenson

    @morzer: I recognize the connection to Favre — but really, Favre hasn’t simply accumulated useless passing stats in lost games the way Cutler has, which is why he reminds more of guys who hit forty solo homeruns in innings 6-9.

  25. 25.

    morzer

    @thomas Levenson:

    Well, I did say he lacked Favre’s win record. Perhaps we could just sum Cutler up as a gun-slinger who can hit a barn-door, but frequently misses anything more mobile?

  27. 27.

    Corner Stone

    @fucen tarmal: Sorry, but Peyton would be dunking the ball off after 2.5 seconds.
    Cutler has been holding it like it was the Golden Ticket in Willy Wonka.

  28. 28.

    Corner Stone

    WTS – I can’t stand Cutler’s body language and overall attitude.
    His interview after the GB game was freakin’ awful.
    If I was his coach I would drag him by the preppie collar into a locked room and tell him to make eye contact and have a smile fer God’s sake.
    What a spoiled asshole.

  29. 29.

    Joseph Nobles

    Is it too early to start wondering if the Bears’ offensive line is doing it to him on purpose?

  30. 30.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    OMG! Are the Giants about to score? This 90-yard drive just about doubled the total offense in this game, both teams combined.

  32. 32.

    Corner Stone

    @fucen tarmal: I agree, on the whole. But when I count to 3 while sitting my chubby ass on the couch and Cutler still has the ball…bad things man, bad things.

  33. 33.

    Nom de Plume

    @fucen tarmal: peyton manning would be curled up on the side line in the fetal position if you made him play behind an offensive line that was this bad

    You do realize that Manning hasn’t played for a winning team with a good offensive line for the entirety of his career, right?

  34. 34.

    Joseph Nobles

    Cutler is being checked out for a possible concussion.

    “Jay, can you count to nine for me?”

  37. 37.

    RareSanity

    @DougJ:

    Jay Cutler is horrible.

    I can’t stand Brett Farve, but, Cutler shouldn’t even be mentioned in the same sentence.

    Jay Cutler = Jeff George

  39. 39.

    Turgidson

    Cutler is a nearly ideal physical specimen for a QB. Big and mobile with a spectacularly strong (and normally accurate) arm. He’s just also a total knucklehead who doesn’t seem the least bit interested in being a leader or overcoming any adversity. Grossman was also a knucklehead who wouldn’t lead, but to add to that, he was an under-6′ tall weenie who could only make a strong throw if he had a great pocket and could step into his throw. Any time he had pressure in his face or was forced to move around, it was pretty much certain to be an INT or a hilariously bad pass. Cutler can at least throw on the move and withstand a pass rush to some extent.

    The offensive line wasn’t doing him any favors tonight, obviously, but he was also holding onto the ball for waaaayyyy too long towards the end of the half. It was only a matter of time before he got knocked out of the game. It turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy that he’d get obliterated every time he dropped back. Bring on the Todd Collins era! :(

  40. 40.

    RareSanity

    @morzer:

    Then why did you mention Ol Man Dither in the same sentence, hmm?

    Poetic license?

    Also too, FAVRE, not Farve.

    Can’t stand him. So, I don’t care to spell his name correctly.

  41. 41.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    Hey, Jim Meffert is in favor of big spending and cutting Medicare! His Republican opponent has told me that about 15 times during this game. She promises she’ll reign in big government while appeasing the folks who tell Jim Meffert, “Don’t cut my Medicare.”

  42. 42.

    PaulW

    The sack problem for the Bears is two-fold. The O-line isn’t blocking and Cutler’s not getting rid of the ball fast enough.

    Which begs the question where’s the run game?

    Also, no Quarterback will ever be as bad as… Spergon Wynn! What, you were expecting Ryan Leaf? Wynn has a worse QB rating…

  45. 45.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    @JCJ:

    Interception by Cutler.

    That’s a hell of an arm if he can throw it to the goal line from the locker room.

  46. 46.

    Restrung

    maybe (heh) I don’t know enough about sports or web-sports-reporting, but it took me 10 minutes on the Strib to find out that the Vikings didn’t play today. And the Vikes are ALWAYS in the top 1/3 of the page. And I don’t know what calf roping is. gheh. The Twins are a classy org, tho.

  48. 48.

    Tom Levenson

    @morzer: English? English? English!

    It’s way too late to be talking English…which is another way of saying that if the joke spit the bit the first time, trying to drag it’s sorry corpse around the track one more time ain’t going to help.

    Signing off, + a modest 3.

  49. 49.

    RareSanity

    @morzer:

    You aren’t living up to your name. Had you considered Willful Ignorance instead? Or you could even shorten it to GOP.

    Full of suggestions, aren’t you? Full of shit also, too.

    I have a suggestion for you, go fuck yourself…

  50. 50.

    Andy K

    @JCJ:

    Interception by Cutler. And the Packers lost to the Bears last week. Oy.

    First things first: Cutler was out. That was Todd Collins throwing the INT.

    The Packers didn’t lose to Cutler last Monday. They lost to Peppers (blocked FG at the end of the 1st half), Devin Hester (punt return), Brian Urlacher (forced fumble) and 18 penalties committed by themselves.

  52. 52.

    fucen tarmal

    @Nom de Plume:

    regardless, peyton gives up on plays faster than most qbs, i enjoy the hell out of nearly every one of his losses, i have seen him fold under pressure, throw his o-line under the proverbial bus, and those lines weren’t anything near as bad as this one.

  55. 55.

    tim serbo

    @fucen tarmal: you’re right, Brady wets his pants when you rush him up the middle, and i say that as a Pats fans. Giants figured that out in the super bowl.

  58. 58.

    tim serbo

    by the way, this game is a festival of ineptitude.

    OT, but did anyone else see any of the world championship road race (cycling) earlier tonight? race was a war of attrition, as world’s usually is, but jesus, what a beautiful course. geelong, australia looks like an awfully nice place to live.

  62. 62.

    Yutsano

    @tim serbo:

    geelong, australia looks like an awfully nice place to live.

    Paging FH #1. FH #1 please report to the Statistical Note thread immediately. FH #1 to Statistical Note thread please.

  64. 64.

    Svensker

    This is just a horrible game. Blech. I wish something good would happen for poor Todd Collins, but it’s not going to.
    So I’m going to shut this sucker off and go to bed and read a book.

    Terrible.

  69. 69.

    Yutsano

    @tim serbo: Nothing, he’s just Australian and may have an opinion on the matter.

    @asiangrrlMN: Homemade mac & cheese and my kitchen is a wreck again. At least I kept my promise to myself and did nothing.

    And my cat is in bizarro mode tonight.

  70. 70.

    asiangrrlMN

    @tim serbo: TattooSydney is my…oh, never mind. Yutsano was just paging TattooSydney to come discuss Australia with you.

    @Andy K: BANG!

    @Yutsano: Mmmmmm, mac & cheese. Nom nom nom. Heh. Your explanation about TS and mine ended up being roughly the same.

  72. 72.

    Ash Can

    Gads, this game is a fucking train wreck. And now the third-string QB is in the game. How many plays till he gets pounded into the turf?

    I can only imagine what Mike Ditka would do to this offensive line in the locker room after this game. They’d find Jimmy Hoffa before they’d find the remains of these guys.

    @Mornington Crescent: The Onion, as always, was bang-on with that. Rex Grossman had absolutely fuck-all between his ears. It was his, and Chicago’s, good luck that the Bears’ defense was channeling the D of 1985-86.

  74. 74.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @asiangrrlMN: Actually, it is more upsetting. If another team outplays you or is better, there is not much to say. If you commit 18 penalties and, as a result, have 2 interceptions and a touchdown nullified, there is a lot to say.

  75. 75.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @asiangrrlMN: Actually, it is more upsetting. If another team outplays you or is better, there is not much to say. If you commit 18 penalties and, as a result, have 2 interceptions and a touchdown nullified, there is a lot to say.

  78. 78.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Omnes Omnibus: So upsetting, you had to post it twice! I don’t understand how you’re able to post the same comment twice. Any time I try that (because I think it hasn’t gone through the first time, FYWP tells me it’s a duplicate comment.

    And, I do understand. The Vikes have the distressing habit of playing to the level of their opponents.

    @Yutsano: That’s what HE said!

  79. 79.

    Nom de Plume

    @fucen tarmal: i enjoy the hell out of nearly every one of his losses

    Oh, trust me, I’m no fan. It’s just that I get annoyed by generalizations, which I should have gotten used to by now, having read sports message boards for like 15 years.

    Anyway, none of this matters, since the quarterback who was fit to be Joe Montana’s lawn jockey has not yet been born.

  80. 80.

    Andy K

    @asiangrrlMN:

    He (I’m assuming you’re a he, O.O.) might have a bad router somewhere in his area. You’ll see a lot more dupes if the bad router is closer to the site’s server.

    Or I could be full of shit.

  82. 82.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Andy K: He is a he. OO explained it at some point, but I don’t remember what he said. It just amuses me so I hope it keeps happening (since it’s all about me and my amusement).

  83. 83.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Andy K: He is a he. OO explained it at some point, but I don’t remember what he said. It just amuses me so I hope it keeps happening (since it’s all about me and my amusement).

  84. 84.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Andy K: I think it is the mouse with my laptop. On the other hand, I have Charter and would not put it past them.

    For the record, I am a he.

  89. 89.

    Andy K

    @Mousebumples:

    Hmm…I’d forgotten about him. I still haven’t forgotten about Jim Del Gaizo and Jerry Tagge, though. Or Carlos Brown and David Whitehurst….Randy Wright?

    Christ, the Packers have had their share of bad-to-horrible QBs in my life.

  92. 92.

    Mousebumples

    @Andy K: I’m fairly young for a Packer fan – I “came of age,” so to speak during the early/mid-90s, so perhaps that’s why Rubley sticks out so notably in my mind. (I’m 27, fwiw.) I can’t say I know most of those names, but if I mention them to my dad, that’ll be sure to elicit more than a few groans.

    Also, between Favre and Rodgers, we haven’t had too many chances for backups to do much. Thankfully!

  94. 94.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: Of course Yoda’s speech is all technically grammatically correct, so talking like him is not necessarily WRONG. It’s just not the normal pattern of English construction.

  95. 95.

    Andy K

    @Mousebumples:

    I’m fairly young for a Packer fan…

    Sure, because the average Packers’ fan has not only a membership in the Hair Club for Men, but also green and gold walkers, Med-Alert Bracelets and our houses have The Clapper plugged in to every socket.

  99. 99.

    Mousebumples

    @Andy K: Valid. I’m further atypical as I’m a girl … so hopefully no need for a membership in the Hair Club for Men.

    Born and Raised in Wisconsin, and I’ve been watching Packer games for as long as I can remember. For example, when I was 5, my dad and I used to “bet” on Packer games – and I’d always pick the Packers. When they’d lose, I’d hope my dad would forget that we bet, so I wouldn’t have to give him a quarter. (And, no, he never did collect, back then. Now? That’s a different story.)

    Some of my favorite memories of growing up are Packers related – even when we’d lose. (i.e. 4th and 26, etc.) To some extent, you really have to have the low points. Without them, the high points wouldn’t mean nearly as much.

  100. 100.

    Elie

    @Turgidson:

    I can’t speak to Cutler, but I think that you are being very harsh on Grossman

    Have you noticed at all that the Bears bring in top ranked quarterbacks that they then turn to shit? Is that an accident or a function of their system/s and incompetent coaching and organization. Ever noticed how other organizations seem to find “diamonds in the rough” and bring them along, develop them etc? That aint the Bears…

    I tell you what, a running game does a lot to make a quarterback look good or better. If you are getting whacked every time the ball comes across, you need a breather and a time to get a grip. Even in the games this season that Cutler has “won”, he is usually running for his life.

    Trust me, I will not apologize for poor performance, but you are way too hard on the quarterbacks here when there is so many more important reasons that the Bears are a work in progress…

    How about Lovie? Yes, How about Lovie?

  102. 102.

    Andy K

    @Mousebumples:

    I grew up on the other side of the lake, born in Muskegon to a third generation Packers’ fans with roots in the U.P. I’ve been following closely since ’72, when I was seven.

    The experience has been a mixed bag. Dad could get a little out of hand when the Pack lost in the ’70s-’80s. He’s mellowed in the interim.

    Still the greatest thing I’ve ever seen happened in ’78 or ’79, against the Rams, when Lofton caught a pass from Dickey on the 40-yard line, facing away from the end zone, with Nolan Cromwell (iirc) draped on his shoulders. Lofton bowed from the waist, and Cromwell is flung off like a ragdoll, then Lofton does a 180 and is headed for the end zone at top speed in one step.

    I was AT the Snow Globe game a few years ago, and that Lofton catch-and-run is STILL the bomb.

  103. 103.

    fucen tarmal

    @Nom de Plume:

    trust me, peyton’s happy feet are no myth, the problem is, you have to get to him, consistently, in order to get him into duck and cover mode…

    as far as joe montana, he was born to play in the system he played in….

  106. 106.

    Zuzu's Petals

    Tonight’s Mad Men: a showcase of each male character’s particular brand of a-hole-ness toward women.

    Breathtaking.

  107. 107.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    @asiangrrlMN: Some of us (Lions fan) would dearly appreciate . . . oh, hey, look! Hockey season starts Friday.

  108. 108.

    Ailuridae

    On another football note, how bad is Cutler? How does he compare with, say, the awful Rex Grossman?

    Cutler is quite good. Without knowing whether you are a Bills, Giants or Jets fan the only QBs who took a snap for any of those teams who are clearly better than Cutler is HOFers Jim Kelly and Kurt Warner.

  111. 111.

    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN)

    @asiangrrlMN: Eddie has had his revenge. That gouge in my leg now has three stitches in it, and there’s blood all over the driver’s seat of the car, from getting to the emergency room. It wasn’t the deep, but, boy, it must have hit something.

    He’s out from under the bed, and let me walk up and pet him. Sometime while I was gone, though, he escaped the collar. It was sitting on the floor right next to the bed.

  113. 113.

    morzer

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I might point out that I gave Favre his due for winning games, and I also demanded that his name be correctly spelled, against an ignorant hater. I don’t really feel you have a legitimate complaint here.

  116. 116.

    MattR

    @asiangrrlMN: I have a Hava player (a slingbox type thingy) that you can access if you are willing to download and install an app for your computer.

  118. 118.

    morzer

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Hmm.. talented quarterback who throws needless interceptions due to a penchant for gunslinging. Sounds like Jay Cutler – but also like Favre. I think if you are looking for a comparable QB to Cutler among those currently playing, Favre really is your best bet. Favre has more wiliness from experience, and has a better record of winning games when it matters, but I honestly believe there is a resemblance. There’s also quite a sense of entitlement and a tendency to ego-trips in public, but that’s another story.

    Can you see a QB who is playing now who resembles Cutler more than Favre?

  119. 119.

    MattR

    @asiangrrlMN: Yep. Basically you would be watching my cable box over the internet using this Hava application. I assume your email address is somewhere on your blog. I will track it down and send you more info later today when I am procrastinating at work.

    (EDIT: OK, I lied. I found an old email I sent to a friend last year and just forwarded it you)

  121. 121.

    morzer

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Hmm.. my wife tends to be a bit unenthused at the prospect of my biting other women. Or men, for that matter. Anyway, isn’t that Yutsano’s devoir? So, back to the quarterback debate….

  123. 123.

    Kobie

    Cutler is about 90,000 times better than the Sex Cannon (Mr. Grossman). Not his fault the five idiots in front of him couldn’t block a doorway.

  124. 124.

    JWL

    “.. [Cutler] lacks that mental grit and determination of Payton Manning, or even Kyle Orton”.

    Thanks for the laugh, JB (tempered only by the fact Orton QB’d the Bears to a Super Bowl).

    But to mention Payton Manning in the same breath with those two is equivalent to comparing the Partridge Family and the Archies to the Beatles.

  125. 125.

    rickstersherpa

    T@JWL: They play the same position, at the same time, so they have to be compared. But it is like comparing a contemporary house painter to Picasso or Matisse as the qualitative difference becomes almost a categorical difference.

    Apparently, the Giants Defensive coordinator spent a long time in film studying the Bears offensive line schemes the last 7 days with great results. Bears’ O-line, probably mediocre to begin with, is going downhill quickly due to injuries:

    “LINEUP WATCH: Starting right guard Lance Louis suffered a left knee injury Sunday night and did not return after halftime. He was replaced by Edwin Williams, who was promoted from the practice squad just one week earlier. In addition, right guard Roberto Garza played despite a knee injury. Left tackle Chris Williams is already out with a hamstring injury that he suffered on opening day, which has necessitated the shift of Frank Omiyale from right tackle to left, with Kevin Shaffer moving into the lineup at right tackle.”

  126. 126.

    4jkb4ia

    Yes, Jay Cutler has been exposed on national television. The announcers (Collinsworth?) were heard comparing him unfavorably to Kurt Warner as far as getting rid of the ball.

    Bernie Miklasz: Rams Show Ability To Fight Back “The fans who faithfully stood by this team are delirious” is about right. They cannot be the Lambs with a .500 record.

  128. 128.

    Trevor B

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, as a Broncos fan i just have to laugh. I mean why do you think McDaniels traded Cutler, the guy is a selfish duschbag. I should add that Orton has been kicking some major ass, the 2-2 record may not show it, but he just threw the franchise record number of yards in the first 4 games.

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