Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

A Senator Walker would also be an insult to reason, rationality, and decency.

We still have time to mess this up!

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Republicans do not pay their debts.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Infrastructure week. at last.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

A Senator Walker would be an insult to the state and the nation.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

The willow is too close to the house.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

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Reader Interactions

131Comments

  1. 1.

    MAJeff

    I live five blocks away from Minnesota. I can’t watch the game (other than on an illegal streaming broadcast). Fuck the NFL and Disney/ESPN!

  4. 4.

    General Stuck

    @MAJeff:

    Fuck the NFL and Disney/ESPN!

    My sentiment exactly, and fuck their exclusive contracts with what’s his name. I’m not going to be forced into getting Direct Teevee to watch NFL games. Now baseball, MLB gives to you a pay for streaming option, that I sign up for every season.

  5. 5.

    debit

    The Vikings aren’t doing very well right now. I hope they can adjust after half time and get some points on the damn board.

  6. 6.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Remember when they used to show the hot girls in the stands between plays? Did they stop doing that or are they all ugly in Houston?

  7. 7.

    newhavenguy

    Glad to see the Jets suspend that rotten son of a bitch. As a Dolphins fan (ouch, ouch, ouch, it hurts every time I remind myself), I think crucifixion might have been more appropriate, We have long memories— remember washed up old Joe Klecko and Marty Lyons wrecking Dwight Stephenson’s knee back in ’87?

    Well, I do. Christ, I hate the Patriots, but the truth is I admire them too, maybe even more than I hate. That is a great organization, with a daring, intellectual coach. (Ask Wes Welker.) by way of contrast, the Jets are a bottom feeding scum factory. This will probably be the highlight of Miami’s year— sticking it to the Jets in an ugly game that was decided by a brilliant game from… our punter, Brandon Fields. Ugh. But I’ll take it.

  8. 8.

    debit

    Our poor defense is going to be wiped by the end. Our offense, on the other hand, will be fresh like daisies. Do I want to stay up for this?

  13. 13.

    Morbo

    Just keep up this run defense, Baltimore; just nothing like what happened on the first play again for the rest of the night and we’ll be fine.

  16. 16.

    MAJeff

    @General Stuck:

    My sentiment exactly, and fuck their exclusive contracts with what’s his name. I’m not going to be forced into getting Direct Teevee to watch NFL games.

    I have DTV because it’s cheaper than cable, but I’m not going for all the bullshit packages. If our local Fox affiliate would have been located about five miles east of where it is, we would have had the game. But, because it’s on the west side of the river, nada.

    I think Disney’s motto is “Do Evil.”

  18. 18.

    BruceFromOhio

    Running against the Ravens D is like running against a fucking wall. At the end of every run is Ray Lewis, arms wide.

    … and down goes Schaub for a big loss …

  22. 22.

    asiangrrlMN

    @efgoldman: I do! Kinda, sorta.

    @debit: Yes. Stay up with me. You won’t regret it. Heh.

    Gah. Brett Favre fapping. My ears!

    Cole, you do know another game is going on, right? Jackass.

    ETA: Why not more on Brett Favre? Because he’s not playing, jackass!

  23. 23.

    BruceFromOhio

    @mr. whipple:
    That was brutal yesterday, wasn’t it?

    Always. Playing Buffalo is like playing an evenly-matched bad version of ourselves. The ‘Snow Bowl’ was such an event, but at least we won that one. *sigh*

  26. 26.

    Zach

    Go go Ravens. In another display of Maryland pride, an SAT style question inspired by today’s events:

    Q – Michael Steele:RNC as?

    a. Brett Farve:Vikings
    b. Lindsey Lohan:Sobriety
    c. Charlie Rangle:Democrats
    d. Lebron James:Cleaveland

  28. 28.

    Loneoak

    OT: Grading finals the other day, I learned that I had a student this term named Jesus Bueno. (It’s a large course and I have a phalanx of TAs standing between me and the students.)

    I think I will name my first born F. S. M. Bueno.

  29. 29.

    BruceFromOhio

    @asiangrrlMN: Cole, you do know another game is going on, right?

    Unless you are haunting NFL.com, or happen to live in one of the contractually obligated broadcast fiefdoms, it’s pretty much invisible.

    ETA: … and I look up to see a Giant run replay for the end zone, 21-3. OK, so not completely invisible. Yikes!

  30. 30.

    asiangrrlMN

    @debit: No kidding. And, no, Joe, this night is not any fucking different. Stop slavering over Favre already. The game is hard enough for me to watch! Aaaaargh!

    @BruceFromOhio: Well, since I live in the fiefdom, it’s on for me! But, point taken. I just like to give Cole crap.

    @debit: I think you can safely go to bed now. Sigh.

    Brian S, yes.

  32. 32.

    Brian S (formerly Incertus)

    I’m taking a break from proofing my galleys (book comes out in January–be prepared to be inundated) by over doing it sportswise. MNF on the cheap flatscreen on the wall over my desk, Giants-Vikings in one window on my laptop, Mavericks-Bucks in another window beside it, and a tab set aside for the Heat-Hornets on the second screen for my workstation. Should my head be hurting right now?

  37. 37.

    debit

    @Brian S (formerly Incertus): Congrats on the book! And yes, your head should be hurting.

    I also need to keep telling myself that the worse we do this year, the easier our schedule will be next year. Silver linings, Deb. Silver linings.

    And in comes the 3rd stringer.

  43. 43.

    BruceFromOhio

    @Brian S (formerly Incertus): No, no, you’re good man. Its ESPN on the UVerse, whilst I hunt Rush tickets and other Solstice gifts on teh intertoobz.

    Although if the Texans don’t make it at least modestly interesting, I prolly won’t last past The Fastest 3 Minutes. With the exception of Philly-Dallas, yesterday provided enough yawns and blowouts.

  45. 45.

    Brian S (formerly Incertus)

    @debit: The year before the Saints won the Superbowl, they went 8-8 and finished last in their division. They were a good team that year who just got hammered by injuries, but that meant they went into the following season playing a 4th place schedule. It shouldn’t be surprising that they busted up the joint a little. If the Vikings can get a quarterback and a coach willing to do some interesting things offensively, they can make a run next year.

  53. 53.

    BruceFromOhio

    @asiangrrlMN: Yeah, that was the crux of the matter. Miss Chef cared not a whit, while I thrive on it. It has to be just some, too much and it gets bitter. Then there was the whole salt versus SEA salt topic, I gave up after that.

    @debit: Indeed, but do you put it in your guac? I propose so.

    @burnspbesq: Two picks on Manning, and still up 21-3? Zoiks.

  55. 55.

    debit

    @BruceFromOhio: Yes I do. Habanero pepper, lemon juice and cilantro. The other holy trinity. (The original is garlic, lemon juice and basil.)

    @asiangrrlMN: I used to think it tasted like soap until I quit smoking. Then I couldn’t get enough of it.

  56. 56.

    Brian S (formerly Incertus)

    @asiangrrlMN: Yeah, I feel you on that. There’s some worry that New Orleans will lose the Hornets unless attendance comes up. My opinion, even though I haven’t lived there in 12 years, is to let them go. The economic benefit of any team in any sport is almost always overblown, and that’s assuming that it’s not harmful to the city or state where the team resides. Louisiana has better things to spend its money on than a basketball team.

  59. 59.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Can you trolls try to keep it on topic?? Ravens @ Texans not Fish Sandwiches @ Tacos or Jesus @ Manning.

    Christ, the lot of you should be banned.

  62. 62.

    BruceFromOhio

    @debit: AYE! Decent habaneros are tough to acquire, so I mix Trinities and go cuh-razy wid the garlic, sometimes cheat a little lime (depends on the quality of avacado). No matter how much gets made, there’s rarely anything left to cover for later.

    @asiangrrlMN: As you will, I’m hip. Eat what you like, like what you eat, and that fish sandwich has set off a ricochet that’s going to end in the kitchen right after Berman’s Favre star fuck.

  63. 63.

    suzanne

    @Brian S (formerly Incertus): You sound like my neighbor. He has five, yes, five TVs in his garage—one big screen and four smaller ones around it. He sits out there on a folding chair and watches them all at once.

    Sports aren’t really my thing (I can enjoy the occasional NBA game), but I have to admire that sort of excess.

  65. 65.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Brian S (formerly Incertus): That’s where I stand on the issue. We have so many other cash needs–a stadium for a professional team should not even be on the list.

    @MikeJ: That’s kinda how I feel about it. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of cilantro in Asian cooking. I can take it in small doses. But, from what I read, people who like it don’t think it tastes like soap.

    @jeffreyw: Woot-woot! The chef agrees with me!

    debit, glad you can enjoy it now!

  68. 68.

    Loneoak

    Cilantro tastes quite differently to different peoples’ tongues.

    It’s likely genetic why it tastes like soap to some and delicious to others, but the exact explanation isn’t really known. So the lovers and haters are both wrong. Or right. Depends on your epistemology.

  69. 69.

    Brian S (formerly Incertus)

    @suzanne: It’s the first time I’ve ever done it, and I’ll probably never do it again. I’ve given up on both football games and the Heat have won, so I’m down to a tight game between the Mavs and Bucks–tighter than it should be, frankly–and I’ll eventually bring myself around to the galleys for a second look.

    But not yet.

  70. 70.

    BruceFromOhio

    It seems like there have been more attempts to go on fourth and short this season. And with pretty spectacular results.

    ETA: .. and Texans settle for three. 28-10 Ravens midway in the third, and I’m sticking a fork in it, it’s done. Peace out, cilantro haterz!

  72. 72.

    MikeBoyScout

    It ain’t over til it’s over, but it’s over.

    Congrats Balto fans!

    And let me just say as a Steeler fan, Steeler fans everywhere are rooting for the Ravens to have the opportunity this season to avenge their loss last week.

  74. 74.

    burnspbesq

    Final score Giants 21, Vikings 3.

    Iggles at the Swamp next Sunday, winner has the inside track on the division title.

  75. 75.

    Corner Stone

    @BruceFromOhio: I’m making my style guac.
    Two Hass avocados
    Can of rotel, drained
    Two fresh jalapenos
    Garlic salt
    Fresh ground cracked peppercorn
    Lime juice

    I love cilantro in my home made salsa.

  76. 76.

    Corner Stone

    @MikeJ: I was an angel as a child. Unfortunately, circumstances dictated I kill that sweet boy. He wasn’t going to make it.

  77. 77.

    jurassicpork

    The moment you’ve all been waiting for is here. The 3rd annual Assclowns of the Year is up, with 50, count ’em, 50 of 2010’s biggest assclowns. So pop some popcorn, take a pull off the eggnog and curl up with your monitors because this one will split the skies.

    On the spit this year:
    George W. Bush (45)
    Glenn Beck (26)
    Lady Gaga (50)
    BP (4)
    The Cat Food Commission (17)
    The Pope (8) and much, much, MUCH more!

  83. 83.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Loneoak: Thanks for finding the link. I was too lazy to Google it. I rest my case.

    @Corner Stone: I no haz the cables, so I am not watching. Go, Texans, though.

    ETA: I’m watching now. Don’t ask how or I will have to kill you. It’s tied! Go, Texans!

  91. 91.

    Crusty Dem

    Anyone who’s watched the Texans this year knows the Ravens will get the ball first and drive down for a quick FG..

  97. 97.

    asiangrrlMN

    “This might be a game-changing moment where the Texans win it or the Ravens win it”, or neither! Sheesh. Go, Texans!

    ETA: Return dude, YOU’RE RUNNING THE WRONG WAY!

    ETA II: Gaaaaaah! Gaaaaah! Gaaaaaaaah!

  113. 113.

    fasteddie9318

    Dear Matt Schaub,

    In this holiday season, please be sure to take some time to get away from all the pressures of NFL life and go fuck yourself.

    Your friend,
    fasteddie9318

  117. 117.

    Crusty Dem

    @Corner Stone:

    I actually like the Texans, but if you didn’t see this one coming, you haven’t been paying attention. The team has top 5 talent and they have stretches of brilliance, but the only way to describe them is losers…

  121. 121.

    Yutsano

    @asiangrrlMN: A lighter shade of indigo. Immensely happy that I no haz to get up early tomorrow. Debating what to subsist on for dinner tomorrow and kind of drawing a blank. Otherwise pretty much nothin’.

  124. 124.

    'stina

    I just came back from that game. I’m exhausted. It was lost in typical Houston football team fashion. Make your fans suffer horribly, bring them hope, and then stab them deeper in the heart than if you’d just not shown up to play.

  129. 129.

    asiangrrlMN

    @Yutsano: You know, I did not like that song when it first came out. However, the more you play it, the more it grows on me.

    This one? If so, you’re on the virtual couch for the night.

    Doubly so if it’s this one.

    ETA: I am now going to poke out my ears with my rusty pitchfork.

  130. 130.

    BruceFromOhio

    Whew, glad I called it a night when I did. I get enough of that come-from-behind-to-tie-and-then-trip-on-their-own-cleats bullshit from the Browns.

    @Corner Stone: Awesome, that looks tasty, got to give it a whirl – and I see you are a limey.

    Cilantro in the salsa ALWAYS.

  131. 131.

    ed drone

    I’m a Redskins fan, so we blow it BEFORE getting into overtime. Snap the PAT over the head of not just the holder, but the kicker!

    I must admit it was an amazing end to a pretty good game.

    Ed

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