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Boys say when is he gonna give us some room

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The beer primary has begun in earnest at Kaplan. Kathleen Parker:

Upon meeting Perry, you can’t help thinking that he’s just like Dubya. They share not only the same speech patterns, but they also have that same je ne sais quoi that corresponds to the way a confident Southern male asks a girl to take a spin around the dance floor: “Wanna dance?”

[….]

It’s that certitude mixed with bravado. It is also, dare I say, their certain brand of manliness. Weathered, creased and comfortable in jeans, they convey a regular guyness that everyday Americans relate to. Take it or leave it, it happens to be true.

Richard Cohen:

He retailed a GOP dinner, going from table to table, while Bachmann made a Lady Gaga entrance — rock music, lights, phalanx of security — and just perfunctorily met with the ordinary people she claims both to be and to represent. Perry, who actually looks like a president (also the late Rory Calhoun), will raise far more money and breeze by her. Au revoir, Michele.

[….]

He occupies the cultural and intellectually empty heartland of the Republican Party.

I’ll take millionaires making condescending generalizations about flyover country for $500, Alex.

Reader Interactions

163Comments

  1. 1.

    forked tongue

    “Looks like a president.”

    Sloooowwwwly I turned… inch by inch… step by step….

  2. 2.

    dmsilev

    It’s that certitude mixed with bravado. It is also, dare I say, their certain brand of manliness. Weathered, creased and comfortable in jeans, they convey a regular guyness that everyday Americans relate to. Take it or leave it, it happens to be true.

    I think we have a starburst moment here.

  3. 3.

    Ian

    but they also have that same je ne sais quoi that corresponds to the way a confident Southern male asks a girl to take a spin around the dance floor: “Wanna dance?”
    (woulda bquoted that but the buttons are missing)
    Cheese eating surrender monkey

  4. 4.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Upon meeting Perry, you can’t help thinking that he’s just like Dubya.

    She meant that as a compliment, didn’t she?

  5. 5.

    KG

    je ne sais quuoi? au revoir? really guys? have you not been paying attention to the GOP the last, oh, decade or so? you start talking funny in favor of a candidate and that candidate is gonna get got.

    in all seriousness though, the regular guy, retail stuff will sell in Iowa and New Hampshire… maybe in South Carolina, but after that, it’s big states with a big show, and the Lady Gaga example will serve them much better.

  8. 8.

    Spaghetti Lee

    Maybe not bigwigs like Parker and Cohen, but you’ve got to wonder how not only do the writers write this tripe, but 2-3 levels of editors look at it and say “Yep, that’s hard-hitting news.” I guess they were all in the same fraternities and sororities at Columbia or whatever.

  9. 9.

    Yevgraf

    It’s that certitude mixed with bravado. It is also, dare I say, their certain brand of manliness. Weathered, creased and comfortable in jeans, they convey a regular guyness that everyday Americans relate to.

    Fuck me running – they always go to redneck southern horseshit.

    They should’ve hung every white male Christian southern voter immediately after Appomattox, just to be sure that the filthy stain of white southern macho bravado could be forever erased from this spinning rock.

  11. 11.

    Dennis SGMM

    @Big Baby DougJ

    I fear that you’ve just summarized the tone of the Village and the emessem for at least the next fifteen months.

  13. 13.

    Big Baby DougJ

    @Yevgraf:

    I lived down south and she doesn’t know what she’s talking about (even though she lives in South Carolina). I don’t think southern men are any more cocky and aggressive than northern men in general. Maybe the opposite is even true.

  14. 14.

    gbear

    …asks a girl to take a spin around the dance floor: “Wanna dance?”

    Followed by slipping something into her drink and date rape later that night.

  15. 15.

    The Dangerman

    Upon meeting Perry, you can’t help thinking that he’s just like Dubya.

    Bug, not feature, right?

  16. 16.

    Roger Moore

    Upon meeting Perry, you can’t help thinking that he’s just like Dubya.

    One can only hope the voters feel the same way when they see him at debates and on TV adds.

  18. 18.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    “Perry, who actually looks and sounds like the former president of the vanquished Confederacy…”

    Fix’t.

    The damned ball washers of the right garble this shit when they write it up while they have their subject’s balls in their mouth.

  19. 19.

    JGabriel

    Kathleen Parker:

    It is also, dare I say, their certain brand of manliness.

    Anyone else thinking that the “manliness” meme is starting to take on a sort of ironic edge now that we all know Rick Perry is shooting blanks?

    ETA: I mean, there’s just something inherently silly to the concept of iconizing as macho a he-man vasectomized by his own wife’s father.

    .

  22. 22.

    danimal

    After reading the Kathleen Parker quote, I now, for the first time, understand the attraction of sticking a straightpin into the middle of my eyeball.

  23. 23.

    beltane

    I didn’t realize Dubya, the owner of an impeccable New England WASP pedigree, was a Southern boy. I guess I am elitist for pointing this out.

  24. 24.

    Jinchi

    Bush was “comfortable in jeans”?

    Wasn’t it Bush’s people who claimed that Obama destroyed the dignity of the Oval Office by showing up without wearing a suit and tie?

  26. 26.

    Elizabelle

    Rick Perry looks like the tycoon from some soap opera.

    And it’s facing cancellation.

  27. 27.

    RedKitten

    It’s that certitude mixed with bravado. It is also, dare I say, their certain brand of manliness. Weathered, creased and comfortable in jeans, they convey a regular guyness that everyday Americans relate to. Take it or leave it, it happens to be true.

    Ye gods. Can we PLEASE eradicate these shower-nozzle masturbation fantasies from the nation’s political discourse, already?

  28. 28.

    danimal

    @JGabriel:

    Anyone else thinking that the “manliness” meme is starting to take on a sort of ironic edge now that we all know Rick Perry is shooting blanks?

    You can hit a lot more, um, targets, once you start shooting blanks. When I was dating, the words, “I had a vasectomy” were considered very, very romantic.

  29. 29.

    beltane

    @Jinchi: I thought Bush looked fetching in his prep school cheerleading costume, much more wholesome than Perry in his college era Nazi uniform.

  30. 30.

    NonyNony

    Jesus Christ I hate the Kaplan editorialists with the white hot passion of a thousand burning suns. I live in the fucking heartland assholes – we aren’t quite THAT shallow when it comes to who we vote for.

    @Big Baby DougJ:

    Rory Calhoun

    Personally, I don’t think he looks much like Rory Calhoun at all. But then I’m not Richard fucking Cohen either. Maybe Cohen meant “the late Rory Calhoun” literally and he thinks that Perry looks like the corpse of Rory Calhoun.

  32. 32.

    Kathleen

    Ooh, fiddle dee dee! Threatening secession and claiming Obama is against America sure makes my little ol’ heart go pitty patter!!! Oh, and danimal @22 – it’s so much better when you heat the pin first. Trust me. And there will be lots of pin heating and eye poking this election cycle.

  33. 33.

    Jay B.

    but they also have that same je ne sais quoi that corresponds to the way a confident Southern male asks a girl to take a spin around the dance floor: “Wanna dance?”

    What?

    Well, assuming that she means “he’s the kind of asshole shallow chicks dig”, uh, oh, forget it. Only 18 more months of this!

  35. 35.

    bleh

    And he’s SO good-looking in those jeans because of that six-shooter I hear he’s ALWAYS got strapped to his manly leg.

    What I wanna know is, when are they going to start drawing comparisons with the arugula eating brainiac Harvard Law president?

  36. 36.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Jinchi:

    No, that was the Reagan worshipers, who were criticizing Clinton, originally.

    Although I have no doubt that Dubya worshipers would make the same comment about Obama.

    It’s the sort of really stupid shit I expect from either group of cult of personality fuckwits.

  37. 37.

    JGabriel

    @danimal:

    When I was dating, the words, “I had a vasectomy” were considered very, very romantic.

    I’m not criticizing the practice — or men who have undergone the procedure — just noting an irony in the GOP’s perception of “virility” versus their rhetoric.

    .

  38. 38.

    beltane

    @RedKitten: Columns like this make me suspect that the Washington pundit class, despite all their social advantages, do not enjoy very rewarding sex lives. Or maybe their attraction to patently unattractive right-wing thugs is one of their fetishes, sort of like necrophilia but even more offensive.

  39. 39.

    thebeez

    I love Richard Cohen’s implication that only white christian males “actually look like presidents”. Jesus I never thought anyone could make me feel offended on behalf of Bachmann but that smug little shit managed to do it.

  40. 40.

    Violet

    @NonyNony:
    Reagan looked more like Rory Calhoun than Perry does. Perry looks, sounds, and gestures like Dubya. That picture that’s making the rounds that’s a mashup of both of them is the image people are going to have when they see him talk. I don’t think Dubya is all that popular and Perry is going to have a hard time escaping the comparison.

  41. 41.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Ken:

    Come on, you have to give Cohen credit for “intellectually empty”.

    Cohen came up with that while shaving one day.

  42. 42.

    Raven (formerly stuckinred)

    Rory was the real deal”

    Born Francis Timothy McCown in Los Angeles, California, Calhoun spent his early years in Santa Cruz, California.[1] The son of a professional gambler, he was of Irish and Spanish ancestry.[1] He was only nine months old when his father died; Calhoun’s mother remarried, and he occasionally went by Frank Durgin, using the last name of his stepfather. At age thirteen, he stole a revolver, for which he was sent to the California Youth Authority’s Preston School of Industry reformatory at Ione, California. He escaped while in the adjustment center (jail within the jail). After robbing several jewelry stores, he stole a car and drove it across state lines. This made it a federal offense, and when he was recaptured, he was sentenced to three years in the penitentiary at Springfield, Missouri. After finishing his sentence, he was transferred to San Quentin prison on other charges. He remained there until he was paroled shortly before his twenty-first birthday.[2]

  43. 43.

    Little Boots

    manliness always means too stupid to breathe to a certain kind of woman. it’s very sad.

  44. 44.

    PurpleGirl

    @gbear: Apparently she and Marcus really liked Elvis. They danced to Elvis recordings at the victory party after the Iowa straw vote.

  45. 45.

    Loneoak

    je ne sais quuoi? au revoir? really guys? have you not been paying attention to the GOP the last, oh, decade or so? you start talking funny in favor of a candidate and that candidate is gonna get got.

    I know, right? It’s almost as if Rick Perry eats fancy mustard and greens other than shredded iceberg lettuce. We all know that he only eats steak, potatoes and ketchup, but not that liberal Heinz shit.

  46. 46.

    Elizabelle

    More from Kathleen Parker: take that, libs:

    the sort of masculinity that Bush and Perry share isn’t admired much on the Upper West Side or in the coffeehouses that dot most urban corners.

    Guess what: The Tea Partyers, evangelicals, NASCAR crowd and others who live in America’s heartland don’t need this explained to them, and they don’t care if you get it or not. They know a real man when they see one and they like him. (They know a “real” woman, too, we might add.) In the world of ideas and policy, none of this means anything that matters, but it means everything in straw polls and caucuses where emotions and guts do the voting.

    What does she mean by “real”??

    Parker concludes that the GOP is “proudly Early American” to Democrats’ “postmodern”, which might be kind of snarky, when you think what comprised 18th century society.

  47. 47.

    Violet

    From the Cohen article:

    Reading up on Perry’s record is an intriguing exercise. It is full of contradictions showing a subtlety that is not reflected in his rhetoric. He has done from Austin what he would not want done from Washington — a bit of industrial policy and a robust support of education.

    “A robust support of education”? WTF? What’s he smoking? Perry destroyed funding for school districts around the state. A bunch of teachers lost their jobs. And he’s ruining higher education as well. What the hell?

  48. 48.

    forked tongue

    Is “wanna dance” really the kind of silver-tongued sweet-talkin’ that sets a southuhn gal’s heart a pitty-pattin,’ or does Parker think “je ne sais quoi” means “sullen inarticulateness”?

  49. 49.

    stevie314

    It’s not Michele Bachmann’s fault she never got a chance to kill an innocent person.

  51. 51.

    Elizabelle

    Further, re Parker column:

    The same things that drove liberals mad about George W. will repeat themselves with Perry.

    But it was not just “liberals” that W drove mad, was it?

    It would seem large swaths of the American public came to conclude GWBush was a maddening president. Or do I misremember?

    Mark of a Villager: it’s always conservatives, liberals, and nothing in between.

  52. 52.

    Little Boots

    @Elizabelle:

    she means “stupid” that is always what east coast worshippers of the “real” America always mean by real. they depend on it.

  53. 53.

    forked tongue

    The same things that drove liberals mad independents straight for the exits about George W. will repeat themselves with Perry.

  55. 55.

    greennotGreen

    @danimal: Man, you’ve dated some gullible women! To me, “I’ve had a vasectomy” is right up there with, “Check’s in the mail.”

  56. 56.

    RedKitten

    They know a real man when they see one and they like him. (They know a “real” woman, too, we might add.) In the world of ideas and policy, none of this means anything that matters, but it means everything in straw polls and caucuses where emotions and guts do the voting.

    Oh for fuck’s sake. For FUCK’S sake.

    You know what a “real man” is? It’s someone who exhibits honesty and integrity. It’s someone who is secure in his masculinity and so does not have to display machismo. It’s someone who does the right thing because it’s the right thing to do, not because he anticipates some sort of reward. It’s someone who strives to be his best and who inspires that in others. It’s someone who raises his sons to be good men and who raises his daughters to not settle for anything less than good men.

    These millionaire yahoos are NOT “real men”. They are con men. They are rich assholes who cynically play the hick because they know that it’s what their base voters want to see, because their base voters are too fucking insecure to vote for someone who might appear to be smarter than them.

    “Real men”? There’s not a real man in the entire fucking bunch. They’re nothing but cartoons and cowards, the entire lot of them.

  57. 57.

    Brian R.

    I agree that Rick Perry is just like George W. Bush and, as a Democrat, I encourage these idiots to continue making the comparison.

  60. 60.

    Downpuppy

    The only Rory Calhoun movie anybody under 60 has seen is “Motel Hell”, where he planted guests in his garden, cut their tongues out, and when they were soggy enough, ground them into sausage.

    Perry,all the way!

  61. 61.

    JD Rhoades

    @Roger Moore:

    Unfortunately, one of the biggest problems with the American public is they can’t remember stuff like what a shitty President Dubbya was. The whole country’s turned into that guy from Memento.

  63. 63.

    shortstop

    I’ll take millionaires making condescending generalizations about flyover country for $500, Alex.

    Well, hell, half the commenters here do it for free. You people have got to learn to value yourselves more! Don’t give it away!

  64. 64.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @RedKitten:

    WILDLY off topic, but Hai! Nice to see you And happy belated two-year-old birthday to SamKitten. We can haz sum noo Sampix plz?

  66. 66.

    Dennis SGMM

    Perry’s evocation of Bush is not a bug, it’s a feature. Here in the United States of Amnesia the three years since Bush left the White House equal forever. Through the magic of the media the Bush years will quickly be washed with sepia-toned nostalgia for 5% unemployment and high rates of home ownership. Remember, it only took two years for the voters to return a Republican majority to the House.

  70. 70.

    RedKitten

    @SiubhanDuinne: HAI yourself!!! Good to see you!

    I emailed John and gave him an update on SamKitten to post, and let him know he could pick out whatever photo he wanted from my FB feed (I’d gotten word that folks were asking about him), but in the meantime, there are some new pics at my URL.

  72. 72.

    Cain

    @RedKitten:

    It’s worse, it’s about some America from the past… that whole damn thing is a description of Reagan. It’s all Reagan flags. But the only people who really care about Reagan are those who were over 25 in the 80s. I mean really.. Today’s population are a different breed.. this kind of western cowboy manliness is not going to go very well with the big states.

    Sheesh.

  73. 73.

    Roger Moore

    @greennotGreen:

    To me, “I’ve had a vasectomy” is right up there with, “Check’s in the mail.”

    Yeah, isn’t supposed to be “Wanna check out my vasectomy scar?” ;-)

  74. 74.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @Big Baby DougJ: True about southern men in general (I lived there briefly) but I bet the ones in Texas are really much more aggressive and cocky. You know, every thing’s bigger in Texas, except the operative piece of anatomy which must then be compensated for with attitude, heh.

  75. 75.

    SiubhanDuinne

    (random thought) :: why does everyone else who posts in LOLCat sound cool, and when I post in LOLCat it just sounds lame?

  76. 76.

    Elizabelle

    @JD Rhoades:

    The whole country’s turned into that guy from Memento.

    This is where a functioning press would be useful.

    Except, when you bring up accountability, it’s called Obama (or whoever) making excuses.

  78. 78.

    scav

    I can understand why certain men would fantasize that real ‘mercan women would drop their drawers at a mere grunt but I didn’t know certain women fantasized along the same lines. Poor dears, endlessly hoping for an inarticulate belch they can call their own clarion call to hot ‘mercan on ‘mercan action.

  79. 79.

    Linda Featheringill

    @licensed to kill time:

    They probably think the Marlboro Man is a real cowboy, too.

    Haven’t seen one of those ads for quite a while. Are they still around?

    But the ads as they used to be always pinged my gaydar. Which was okay with me but I’m not sure that’s what the pundits have in mind when they think of him.

    Edited. Punctuation, how does that work?

  81. 81.

    Roger Moore

    @Elizabelle:

    What does she mean by “real”??

    Confederate. SATSQ. Notice that NASCAR, the style of racing invented by good-old-boy Confederates trying to cheat the government is considered to be “Real American”, while NHRA, which was invented in the very American car culture of Southern California, lacks the same cache.

  84. 84.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @RedKitten: HO. LEE. SHEE. YUT. Sam has turned into a Big Kid. Still gorgeous, but what happened to that chubby baby?

    O/T again but I am beginning to think seriously about doing a several-week solo driving tour of the Maritimes Atlantic Provinces sometime next year. Any general suggestions on best season, don’t-miss places, etc.?

  85. 85.

    steve

    They should’ve hung every white male Christian southern voter immediately after Appomattox, just to be sure that the filthy stain of white southern macho bravado could be forever erased from this spinning rock.

    Watch ‘The Jersey Shore’ and get back to us, asshole.

  87. 87.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @licensed to kill time: Interestingly, I know one of the Marlboro Men from those old print ads. An educated and charming man who prefers the company of other men. And he is a real horseman, though not of the cowboy variety.

  91. 91.

    Elizabelle

    And then Parker closes with a comment from a potential Perry voter. Yes, drag us back to the 1930s. Please.

    An e-mail that dropped into my inbox … A woman was commenting on a story about Perry and wrote: “I can equate to bathing in a galvanized wash tub . . . also sleeping on the porch with no A/C. He’s got my vote!”

    Bring ’em on.

    I don’t think Kathleen is down with the idea of a Perry candidacy.

  93. 93.

    Raven (formerly stuckinred)

    @PurpleGirl: See above, there were 3.

    “In the Paula Cole song Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?, the last line of the song says “Where is my Marlboro Man? Where is his shiny gun?”

  94. 94.

    PurpleGirl

    @shortstop: LOL.

    ETA: Raven: I remembered that one died of cancer. I didn’t know how many there had been. The same ad campaign was used for many years.

  98. 98.

    licensed to kill time

    @Linda Featheringill:

    I don’t know if there are any Marlboro Men ads anymore, I never see any cigarette ads. The Marlboro boxes I see have dead rats and babies on the lid, though.

    Boy, cigarette advertising has changed.

  99. 99.

    Big Baby DougJ

    @Elizabelle:

    I don’t think Kathleen is down with the idea of a Perry candidacy.

    No, she’s not, and her piece is well-written. I just find it excessively condescending and not accurate politically (by the end, Bush was quite unpopular among reglar murkins too).

  100. 100.

    RedKitten

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    O/T again but I am beginning to think seriously about doing a several-week solo driving tour of the Maritimes Atlantic Provinces sometime next year. Any general suggestions on best season, don’t-miss places, etc.?

    Best season is either July, or early October. Of course, some Julys and Octobers are glorious, and others are utterly craptacular. So you takes your chances.

    First priority: the Cabot Trail in Cape Breton. Take your time doing this — give yourself at least 3 days, if not more. It’s stunning. Halifax is a fun city. Believe it or not, the Metro Transit ferry is the best bang for your buck as far as a quick harbour tour is concerned. It’s the bus. On water. But you get an awesome view of the skyline. The Annapolis Valley and South Shore of NS are also lovely — Wolfville is a pretty university town. Lunenburg and Mahone Bay are very picturesque. Swinging up to New Brunswick, I’m not as familiar with western NB, but Moncton is a fun, cosmopolitan city that’s growing by leaps and bounds. Shediac is a great little seaside tourist town with a great beach. The whole east coast of the province is fantastic, really. And PEI is just lovely from tip to tail. You can’t go wrong.

    And when you’re going to swing through Amherst (which you will, because it’s on the border between NS and NB), then drop me a quick email at kc977 at hot mail dot com. We’ll do lunch. :)

  101. 101.

    kth

    The thing that bugged liberals about Bush was all the needlessly-dead people in Iraq and New Orleans.

  105. 105.

    MazeDancer

    Clearly Kathleen Parker is not Southern.

    Because what appears to be “confidence” to her is to those of us familiar with the genre: self-absorbed, narcissistic, never listens, cruel, mean and nasty. Some of them can dance. Doesn’t make them better partners.

  106. 106.

    priscianusjr

    @gbear:

    Today Michele Bachmann took a moment during her campaigning to wish Elvis Presley a happy birthday. Elvis died 34 years ago today.

    People, can we just cut the lady a little slack? For is not birth a kind of death? Are we not all born to die? Life is but a passing shadow. And is not death our real birth? For we are born unto eternal life.
    I’m sure that’s what she was driving at.

  108. 108.

    Ash Can

    From that excerpt, it sounds like Kathleen Parker has codependency issues, the poor thing.

    ETA @ Doug J: OK, I’ll buy that. And that’s good to hear. But that excerpt — eew.

  109. 109.

    Roger Moore

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    You can not has cool; not yours.

    If you want to get the LOL Cat sound right, you have to read lots and lots of LOLs and get the feeling for how to make the borken grammar and spelling sound right. You want to mangle things enough that they sound a bit wonky but not so much that people have a hard time understanding you. Knowing the snowclones is also very important.

  110. 110.

    Little Boots

    you’d think conservatives would actually give a shit about a completely fucked up war. you’d be wrong. all my life I’ve been hearing about how awful liberals are because they don’t understand how dangerous the enemy is. and yet, there was this asshole that couldn’t begin to comprehend how tough iraq would be, and ten million assholes defended his stupidity every step of the way. strange.

  112. 112.

    Lyrebird

    @forked tongue: @thebeez:

    THANK YOU.

    and the “manliness” of Perry? dog vomit.

    American voters know what a real man is and what a real woman is, and thank you Sky Fairy that is why Joseph Biden, with his ordinary hair and his ordinary style, totally won the veep debate last time around.

  113. 113.

    Anya

    @JGabriel: Do Jesus freaks approve of vasectomy? I thought they considered birth control pills an abortion, isn’t vasectomy the same?

  115. 115.

    Comrade Mary

    To slightly rephrase something I said over at Rump Roast the other day:

    DO NOT RUIN BLOWJOBS FOR ME CREEPY MEDIA.

  116. 116.

    The Spy Who Loved Me

    @Big Baby DougJ:

    I agree with you that Southern men are not necessarily cocky and aggressive. Cocky and aggressive are more Northern traits. Usually, if they have had a decent upbringing, Southern men are incredibly charming. Southern women are usually quite charming too, be be on the lookout for the shiv. The are capable of sticking it in with a smile on their face and honey dripping from their tongue. It’s the Southern way, bless your heart.

  117. 117.

    JGabriel

    @Anya:

    Do Jesus freaks approve of vasectomy?

    That’s a good question. I really don’t know. My guess would be that most fundies don’t approve of vasectomy unless it’s for medical reasons, but I really don’t understand their thinking processes, so who knows?

    .

  118. 118.

    something fabulous

    @gbear: First that John Wayne/John Wayne Gacy thing, now this! She needs to pay the person who Wikis her folksy-fact-of the-day a bit more.

  119. 119.

    RedKitten

    @JGabriel: Do Jesus freaks approve of vasectomy? I thought they considered birth control pills an abortion, isn’t vasectomy the same?

    Nope. If sperm never meets egg in the first place, they don’t consider it an abortion. For them, abortion is hormonal birth control that (among other functions), can prevent a fertilized egg from implanting.

  120. 120.

    JGabriel

    @kth:

    The thing that bugged liberals about Bush was all the needlessly-dead people in Iraq and New Orleans.

    And stealing the presidential election in 2000. Trust me, we’re never forgetting that one.

    .

  122. 122.

    Little Boots

    is it a southern thing or a texan thing? that’s the thing. also, are they all secessionists deep down, or just some?

  123. 123.

    Jenny

    Parker’s column really is sexist.

    Can you imagine how Parker would be screaming if Tweety wrote a column slobbering over Palin’s cleavage.

  125. 125.

    Little Boots

    also, does anyone seriously think this asshole is a christian. a few years ago, he couldn’t be bothered, now all of a sudden he’s suckin the jesus dick like nobody’s bidness and we’re all supposed to take it seriously. seriously?

  126. 126.

    Gian

    that was some typo. using an actor, when he must’ve really meant:

    John C. Calhoun

    from wikipedia:
    Although Calhoun died nearly 10 years before the start of the American Civil War, he was an inspiration to the secessionists of 1860–61. Nicknamed the “cast-iron man” for his ideological rigidity [2][3]as well as for his determination to defend the causes in which he believed, Calhoun supported states’ rights and nullification, under which states could declare null and void federal laws which they held to be unconstitutional. He was an outspoken proponent of the institution of slavery, which he famously defended as a “positive good” rather than as a “necessary evil”.[4] His rhetorical defense of slavery was partially responsible for escalating Southern threats of secession in the face of mounting abolitionist sentiment in the North.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_C._Calhoun

  127. 127.

    Anya

    I beginning to think that Texas is a blight on the country — more than Alabama or even Mississippi and South Carolina.

  128. 128.

    catclub

    @Jenny: “Real men threaten to lynch nerdy Jewish central bankers.”
    Republican central bankers.

    Also, has there been evidence of the feud between Rick Perry and Karl Rove? How about the ‘Rick Perry was Gore’s campaign manager in 1988?’ (Actually only the Texas campaign, and Perry was a democrat then.)

  129. 129.

    Mike in NC

    @Anya:

    I beginning to think that Texas is a blight on the country — more than Alabama or even Mississippi and South Carolina.

    SC is America’s armpit, but in the summer of 2005 I spent three weeks at Fort Hood in central Texas. The sheer awfulness cannot be described.

  130. 130.

    cckids

    @Violet:

    That picture that’s making the rounds that’s a mashup of both of them is the image people are going to have when they see him talk.

    Seeing him talk is not nearly the problem that is hearing him talk. The first time I heard him over the weekend the TV was on & I was not looking; I could swear that W was back. Its a little like hearing an actor doing an animated show. You can’t quite place the voice; you close your eyes and voila! There he is!! That is the feeling I get from Perry. Gives me that “goose walked on my grave” shudder.

  131. 131.

    Ian

    @The Spy Who Loved Me:

    Cocky and aggressive are more Northern traits. Usually, if they have had a decent upbringing, Southern men are incredibly charming.

    Can we cut the shit with the regionalist assumptions of behavioral traits? Yes, some Northerners are assholes. So are some Southerners, some Midwesterners, some Coastal people.

    Operative- some people are assholes. With how much our country has had internal migration and cultural change, its F***ing ridiculous to keep up outdated assumptions

    Parents are the predominate feature of children’s behavior. Not where they are from

  132. 132.

    celticdragonchick

    Guess what: The Tea Partyers, evangelicals, NASCAR crowd and others who live in America’s heartland don’t need this explained to them, and they don’t care if you get it or not. They know a real man when they see one and they like him. (They know a “real” woman, too, we might add.) In the world of ideas and policy, none of this means anything that matters, but it means everything in straw polls and caucuses where emotions and guts do the voting.
    Who’s gone from the race? Tim Pawlenty. Plain and simple, not manly enough. Good on policy and accomplishment, weak on chemistry. If Democrats are postmodern, Republicans are proudly Early American. An e-mail that dropped into my inbox provides insight into how this breaks down.
    A woman was commenting on a story about Perry and wrote: “I can equate to bathing in a galvanized wash tub . . . also sleeping on the porch with no A/C. He’s got my vote!”</blockquote>

    Somebody shoot me.

  134. 134.

    Anya

    @Mike in NC: At least the lunatic politicians that South Carolina inflicts on the nation, do not fake macho posturing, and to my knowledge, they don’t do costumes.

    I once visited Houston with my college roommate, and her family were a nice liberal family so I did not see the awful side.

  135. 135.

    Arundel

    Kathleen Parker sounds like a Cro-Magnon in heat, here. Are we really not beyond this? I suppose not, she gets paid to write this claptrap.

    But really- what is it with Beltway pundits, do they think we are all mere primates sniffing each other’s rears? Or is that the way they see the unwashed masses and are pandering to that, just animal lust? Like, what in the fuck with this overheated commentary, like she’d be impressed if Perry killed a man and sprayed his territory with his big (albeit neutered) schlong. This passes for sophisticated political commentary, when it seems more like Paging-Doctor-Freud material, just a bizarre wankfest. Yeah, it’s disquieting that punditry frauds like Parker get paid to air their rutting fantasies like that, over such a dismal and pathetic man like Perry.

  136. 136.

    Stefan

    Upon meeting Perry, you can’t help thinking that he’s just like Dubya. They share not only the same speech patterns, but they also have that same je ne sais quoi that corresponds to the way a confident Southern male asks a girl to take a spin around the dance floor: “Wanna dance?”

    Of course, after the dance she’s somehow pregnant, broke and engulfed in flames.

  140. 140.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Gian:

    The interesting thing is, Calhoun scoffed at secession, and nullification, when New England was complaining about the War of 1812.

    Funny that.

  141. 141.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @AxelFoley:

    Well, Homer Simpson has informed us that Florida is the wang.

    So I’m not sure how this works out for armpits and assholes.

  143. 143.

    cckids

    @Anya:

    Do Jesus freaks approve of vasectomy? I thought they considered birth control pills an abortion, isn’t vasectomy the same?

    Those I know approve, because its the man’s decision, for his peace of mind. Because, you know, he IS the decider.

  144. 144.

    soonergrunt

    @RedKitten: Leave it to you to get right to the heart of it. I still laugh my ass off when I think about your comment about Palin and her “you can see Russia from Alaska” bit: “I can see the moon from my kitchen. It doesn’t make me a fucking astronaut, now does it?”

  145. 145.

    asiangrrlMN

    @RedKitten: That vid of him nomming on the cupcake and screeching for you and your hubby is precious. Such a healthy, handsome, happy boy!

    Real man, eh? If Gov. Perry is a real man, I’ll take an ersatz one, thankyewverymuch

  148. 148.

    Lynn Dee

    Seems odd that both Kathleen Parker and Richard Cohen can’t seem to swoon about Perry’s manliness without resorting to French.

    What’s that mean?

  149. 149.

    soonergrunt

    @Raven (formerly stuckinred): Never had cigarettes in MREs. Of course, for the longest time you could get smokes in the commissary for something like $9.00/carton. When I was stationed in Europe both times, I used my ration card to buy 8 cartons of smokes each month, and sell them to my neighbors for like half of what they cost on the economy. Did the same thing with hard liquor, and made a fucking killing. Now they charge within 5% of the cost off-post, so as to not make smoking so easy. That’s when I quit smoking. When Marlboro reds went from $10.50/carton to $44.00/carton a couple years ago, I went on chantix and quit.

  151. 151.

    greennotGreen

    @Keith G: The link to the actual paper is dead, so I don’t know what variability there was in the sample. On a survey with 100 questions, the difference in the two quintiles at the far ends could be 80-100 questions answered differently or 5-10 questions. It’s suspiciously like “studies” on gender differences that amplify minor differences and ignore major overlaps (especially in the popularized versions of such studies.)

  152. 152.

    Valdivia

    @Elizabelle:

    This reminds me of the article she wrote about Obama in 2008 saying he lacked American male red bloodedness or some such. It was all about him being a nerdy girly man and black.

  153. 153.

    nellcote

    @Elizabelle:

    the sort of masculinity that Bush and Perry share isn’t admired much on the Upper West Side or in the coffeehouses that dot most urban corners.

    Where in the hell does Parker live? Staten Island?

  158. 158.

    JenJen

    @Elizabelle: Exactly. “They know a real man when they see one.”

    May I opine, how the fuck would Kathleen Parker know what a NASCAR enthusiast thinks a “real man” or “real woman” is? Seriously?

    Time to throw “NASCAR enthusiast Kathleen Parker” in the tagline pool.

    @JGabriel: Kathleen Parker lives in SC? Well, never mind then. She may very well know a NASCAR fan or two. Probably two.

  159. 159.

    Matt

    He occupies the cultural and intellectually empty heartland of the Republican Party.

    Heartland? More like “headspace”. ;)

  160. 160.

    ET

    I just don’t get that Perry has “regular guyness.” Have you seen his suits paired with expensive shirts with fancy cuffs and collars? Please. Say what you will about Bush at least he dressed less obviously rich.

  161. 161.

    grandpajohn

    @soonergrunt: It was the old fashioned C rations that had the cigs. In the early 60’s in the navy we got sea store cigs for 1.00 a carton with a limit that I don’t remember now, but you had to be on a ship outside the 12 mile limit

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