We’re all happy the debate is over. Unfortunately, some of us are having a stupidity hangover:
I’ve already implemented a strong plan that involves spooning, treats, and heavy petting (not that kind you sick bastards), so I hope she will recover quickly.
And I love that dog more than anything or anyone I have ever loved. Also, too. Sorry mom.
Michael D.
I feel ya about loving dogs more than family. Same.
Made a decision not to watch TV tonight.
Also, too, dogs ARE family.
JGabriel
John Cole:
o_O
Okay. Whatever you say.
.
Cat Lady
We Gotta Get You A Woman
AkaDad
Ouch. Family gatherings are gonna be awkward now.
General Stuck
Reading the live blogging about the debate, it sounded like bloodthirsty wingnuts being bloodthirsty, applauding the biggest Grim Reeper Gov in our history. So glad I missed that, it would have ruined the evening and maybe tomorrow too.
Anya
I think it’s pet abuse to make them watch the wingut stupidfest. I did not watch the debate but I still cannot get over the spontaneous round of applause for executing people!! WTF! These people are monsters.
Elisabeth
You are such a good man; they are lucky to have you.
beltane
I would not let my dog or my children watch this type of Republican filth on the TV. My cats are a different story.
Odie Hugh Manatee
You like to live dangerously? Well, if anything happens we will recommend that the police not question your Mom.
After all, you have enemies all over the country, right? ;)
sfinny
Hey man, you and Lily are a great love story. Don’t ever apologize for that. Well except to Mom.
Jade Jordan
John, you are becoming tragically pathetic. Time to start organizing your telethon. Rosie and Tunch demand equal time.
Hill Dweller
Skipped the debate(skimmed the rundown here), and had the good fortune of catching the start of Hobson’s Choice on TCM.
Cat Lady
Living in America. Suck it Rick Perry.
Anya
BTW John, I don’t have pets but I cannot imagine loving anyone, or anything more than mom and dad, even the future husband?
Punchy
Loving your dog more than your mom/ABL is disturbing. Match.com, buddy. Match.com…..
MikeJ
More proof Cole hates what balloon-juice has become as much as the rest of us do. He posted pictures of Lily (Lily oh Lily) and Tunch together to his twitter feed and not here.
General Stuck
And Lily remains a sweetheart!!
licensed to kill time
Between the BJ threads and Cole’s Twitter feed, I found ‘watching’ the debate quite painless.
You know who else was funny was Andy Borowitz on Twitter.
These days, you just gotta laugh.
Old Dan and Little Ann
Yeller lasted 17 days until 7:00 pm tonight when he snuck past my wife exiting the front door and he took off. This was after I walked him out to my truck to take him to the park. While I was fishing for my keys he jumped over the SIDE of my FUCKING truck into the bed. I lowered the hitch to get him out and into the front seat. Long 90 minute walk and then he’s back inside the house. 1 minute later and adios. Asshole!
Jenny
Tunch must feel so jilted.
John Cole
@Anya:
You have never met Lily. I love Rosie and Tunch (my firstborn) but no one touches Lily.
Anya
@licensed to kill time: This is my favorite:
@John Cole: She’s lovely. But you need to find an adult person to give you love and the heavy petting. Your not without charm, you’re a good cook and funny as hell and cute when cranky.
AA+ Bonds
You are Jehovah God, John. The last days are at hand. Nothing is more important than bringing sheep into the fold.
Mark S.
But apparently the kind of spooning us sick bastards are thinking of.
I still can’t believe Perry doubled down on that Ponzi scheme crap. He will get killed in a general election.
AA+ Bonds
licensed to kill time
@Anya: :)
Also:
AA+ Bonds
IF THERE’S ONE GROUP OF PEOPLE I HATE IT’S THOSE GODDAMNED SCIENTISTS. ALWAYS MAKING SHIT HARD FOR US.
Elizabelle
There was a debate tonight?
PS: MikeJ: you rolled me.
Reality Check
Takeaway from the debate: Rick Perry continues his unstoppable march towards the Presidency. Also enjoyed seeing him kick the sh**t out of that senile toolbag Ron Paul NAFTA SUPERHIGHWAY!!!!!11111
Reality Check
@AA+ Bonds:
Yes, but what about her blueberry pie?
God, it’s great to mute a blabbering autistic toolbag like you. God bless the pie filter.
AA+ Bonds
I hope y’all did not actually watch the debate or listen to those people’s braying inhuman voices, just read the transcript like it’s 1932 and then glance blearily at all the stories on every website about the important times when the handpicked audience did or did not clap on cue
JGabriel
I don’t know for sure, but I’d imagine Rick Perry’s tone would remind many women of their delusionally over-confident ex-husband and why they divorced him.
.
JGabriel
Deleted by Author. Dupe.
AA+ Bonds
lol, Reality Check goes from loving me to hating me in one post. HUMP DAY.
Reality Check
So, Losers (aka Democrats), what will be the excuse you will give for Obama losing to Perry? Will it be TEH DIEBOLD?
ETA: Even the Useful Idiots of the Democrat Party, in this case Dave Weigel, thinks Perry could “run to the far right and still win a narrow victory”.
J. Michael Neal
@Mark S.: This sick bastard is so busy being ill over the Republicans’ necrophilia that I don’t have time for wondering about Cole’s bestiality.
Anya
@licensed to kill time: So, how long will crazy eyes stay in the race since governor goodhair appropriated most of her lunatic supporters?
Also, too, via the Obama Diary a Flowchart to Determine Which GOP Candidate to Support.
licensed to kill time
@Reality Check:
I agree. Welcome to the pie filter, Reality “I Make My OWN!” Chex.
Anne Laurie
@Old Dan and Little Ann:
Some dogs just have that glitch in their programming. Day after our “perfect” rescue dog Zevon came to live here, he gave me one of the worst nights of my life by jumping out a window, dropping four feet to land on gravel, and taking off into a drizzly November Sunday evening. He’s also done things like squirming out of his seat belt & jumping out of the car… in a strange city… during a snowstorm. After the first couple scares, I could totally sympathize with the anonymous former-owner who dumped him at a shelter with five years’ worth of veterinary records, because he’s taken years off my life.
Good news is, almost five years on, reaching senior status has muted the runrunrun glitch considerably. Not that we’re not super-vigilant about keeping him on lead, but when he’s loose in a securely fenced area, he can at long last devote some energy to playing & sniffing & being a dog, not just patrolling the perimeter non-stop searching for an escape route!
Katie5
John, how large/small is Lily? I can’t get a good sense of that. A photo of her next to a standardized object would be good. But don’t photograph her next to Tunch. That’ll give us a complete misrepresentation of her actual size.
Arm The Homeless
@AA+ Bonds: Eh, shitty troll is going to troll shittily. Just be thankful you aren’t responsible for cleaning the drool from its chin.
On a happier note,Here’s Johnny.
Anne Laurie
@Reality Check:
Weigel’s an out-and-proud Libertarian, buttmunch. You can’t finish an entire sentence without committing at least one lie, can you?
bkny
i fear that bloodlust will extend beyond that audience in attendance. and i really think rick perry’s appeal is being underestimated and that he has a shot at becoming president. good gawd.
licensed to kill time
@Anya:
I hope she just quietly fades away into her deserved obscurity and becomes a minor amusing historical footnote along with that other wacky Bumpit.
eta: Oh Gawd, that flow chart is funny, thanks!
JGabriel
@Anya:
Until, in comparison to Perry, she looks like the sane one.
I know it’s hard to believe, but at least Bachmann’s not calling SS a Ponzi scheme. Sooner or later, Perry is gonna be recognized as the crazy(er) one.
.
suzanne
I didn’t get home until late, so I’m watching the debate right now. Ho-lee SHIT, Rick Perry sure is proud of killing people. Mittens is the best hope we have. I am petrified.
Oi.
Comrade Mary
Here’s the picture of Tunch and Lily that John posted to Twitter while neglecting us. I’ll be crying quietly in the corner, thank you.
Anne Laurie
@Katie5: According to Cole, Lily’s about 20 pounds — nice size for a lap dog, as long as you’ve got a respectable lap. The toy-dog chauvanist in me cannot resist pointing out that Lily’s obviously inherited the gene set for charming & soothing her particular human, which is what toy dogs have been bred for, going back to that point in our species’ mutual history when separating ‘dog’ from ‘wolf’ still puzzles geneticists!
Reality Check
@Anne Laurie:
I said “Useful Idiot”. Are you aware of the origins of that term? It originally meant those that weren’t Communists, but unwittingly helped them in their goals. Lenin originally coined it. That’s pretty much what Weigel is. While not a full-blown Democrat hack, he helps them in his writing without realizing it.
mcd410x
What I learned tonight? The GOP is in a shooting war — and it’s excited about it. Our side isn’t sure it wants a fight.
It all feels very Whig c. 1850. Go read Lincoln’s Cooper Union address. Really, nothing has changed.
Arm The Homeless
Why the fuck are FPs feeding the fucking trolls? Another voice you appreciate, Anne?
Reality Check
@mcd410x:
Yes, because Jeff Davis and the other cowardly traitor toolbags were Republicans. Oh, wait…
The Spy Who Loved Me
John’s Mom probably loves her dogs more than John. Sort of karmic equality if you will.
suzanne
@JGabriel:
Oh my yes. My chronically unemployed ex-husband.
However, my ex-husband is better-looking. Is it me, or do they all (except for Cain) look like they’ve been drinking some of Boehner’s no-I-don’t-tan Jesus juice?
asiangrrlMN
I ask for Tunchie, and I get another pic of Lily? It’ll (grudgingly) do, Cole.
For now.
Reality Check
@suzanne:
Unemployed??? During Recovery Summer 2: Biden Boogaloo? Must be Bush’s fault!
Anne Laurie
@suzanne:
If the Permanent Republican Party, and its media courtiers, decide to let Perry take the nomination, it means they’ve decided the GOP brand name is so devalued they’re going full-metal clown-car and hiding out until 2016. I still think Willard will be Tha Winner in Tampa, because the trickster-god enjoys watching my blood pressure spike every time I think about that smarmy putz.
Remember, Palin’s gone from RedState Hero to getting dissed by Ann Coulter, and she only had a couple months as a “real” candidate before becoming a full-time celebutard. Rick Perry’s fine as a favorite-son hood ornament in Texas, where the governor’s main legislative power is cheerleading and/or pissing off the sane people, but I very much doubt he’s got enough creativity to keep his act entertaining for more than a year in the big-media spotlight.
Arm The Homeless
See, Anne, did you really have to subject us to such a well-reasoned response from De Nada? Now it’s emboldened by the thought that someone who doesn’t have a badge or a restraining-order against them is actually acknowledging their presence.
Anne Laurie
@Arm The Homeless: My bad. Normally I resist, and shall do so going forward.
Comrade Mary
@asiangrrlMN: Pssssst!
Arm The Homeless
Thanks, Anne, here are Jedi Kittens
suzanne
@Anne Laurie: I still think the Mormon thing sinks Romney. We haven’t gotten to the truly nutty evangelical states yet. Perry is a fucking nutbar.
@Arm The Homeless: Tom Morello has that written on his guitar and it pleases me greatly.
Fulcanelli
Fear not, Rick Perry doesn’t have a chance of getting near the general election and with the baggage Romney’s got? Not gonna happen.
Mom’s gone full metal Fox News over the last few years but the idea that somebody’s even thinking about fucking with her and her friends’ Social Security sends her into the kind of a red-faced, pants shitting lather like I haven’t seen since I got busted for burning a fatty in High School. Especially since she’s 73 and she can’t afford to quit her job even with her SS check.
A lot of the olds here in deep blue RI think the same way even though most aren’t too fond of the the Kenyan Usurper and they see right through the republican BS.
Talk about the issues and she seems normal, but unsupervised she lapses back into that angry, disenfranchised old white person demographic and Fox does know how to whistle their tune.
suzanne
@Reality Check:
Oh, my ex-husband has only himself to blame. I’ve eaten Swiss cheese that has fewer holes than his resume.
Good try, though.
Fulcanelli
Post in moderation in Aisle 6…
Arm The Homeless
@suzanne: Yeah, he is my musical hero. On a tangent, did you catch the EP from One Day As A Lion?
Edit: Stop feeding the trolls, if you wouldn’t mind
TooManyJens
@Fulcanelli: So if not Perry or Romney, who are you predicting as the nominee? Because it’s not like there’s a plausible not-terrifying option.
John Weiss
@Anya: That wasn’t a debate. That was a moderated “discussion”. Goodness.
Rick Perry is an asshole, OK? I live in another place now, but I’ve spent years in Texas watching RP. He’s a snake oil salesman, that’s it.
suzanne
@Arm The Homeless: That is rad. Gracias.
You are right. However, I cannot refrain from taunting FourLoko_chan, and for that I make no apologies.
John Weiss
@Anya: Yeah, Bachmann is lovely. If you like scary eyes.
MB is as nutty as a 7th ave. bar.
John Weiss
@Reality Check: You’re as nuts as Bachmann.
Perry couldn’t win dogcatcher in a national election.
dead existentialist
@John Cole:
Now this is getting creepy. Did the debate make you revert to your Republican ways?
Comrade Mary
@John Weiss: Err, I think the compliment was directed at sweet Lily.
Fulcanelli
@TooManyJens – Romney’s sufficiently smarmy and vanilla enough to get the nomination but he’ll never win the general. Remember how the fast the congressional republicans had to back pedal when they tried to pull the SS privatization shit when dubya was in the WH? And that was before the stock market/wall st/bank bailout mess.
All Obama’s got to do is grease the skids with well timed leaks and ads about how Romney made his millions costing people their jobs in this frackin economy and he’s Jesus on burnt toast. Plus the Suthuners won’t brook no Mormon.
If Obama doesn’t scream from the rooftops how the wingnuts want to gut FEMA after we’ve had hurricanes, tornados and freakin’ earthquakes. In Virginia? He deserves to lose.
I’m more worried about more sociopaths getting into Congress.
Arm The Homeless
@John Weiss: Don’t feed the trolls.
And BTW, what is a 7th ave. bar? Did I miss something? On a related note Charleston Chew is the best candy, evah! 9 out of 10 tree-borne rodents agree…
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
@Anya: OK, that flowchart was priceless and I sent it to all my friends.
Too true, too true.
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
@Anne Laurie: Escape artists? Our last German Shepherd shredded a screen and jumped out of a second story window. We only had the circumstantial evidence of dog hair on the windowsill and a front porch chair awry. We think she mainly hit the shrubbery and was unharmed.
However, proof came some time after that a neighbor saw her perched in the same window and got a ladder to push her back inside. Some time after that she was found standing on the back porch roof, too nervous to jump.
John Weiss
@Arm The Homeless: It was a candy bar that had nuts and some sort of solidified peanut butter covered in chocolate. Yeech.
I was once young and liked them.
Arm The Homeless
@John Weiss: As I get older, I like American milk-chocolate less, and less. But I find myself inextricably drawn to jelly-beans. I think Ronald Reagan is haunting me…
Geoduck
@Arm The Homeless:
It’s my understanding that American chocolate doesn’t have any actual chocolate in anymore. So it may not be you that’s changing..
Maura Cavaleri
Cole KILLED on Twitter last night. For the first time evah, I did not watch the debates. I had Cole’s twitter feed, TPM LiveWire and BalloonJuice threads to inform me.
It was GREAT! No upset tummy after, no waking up cranky this am.
I love my cats more than anyone other than my son. I would die for them. That may be a little nuts, but that’s the way it is.
Nutella
Unsurprising news: 92 % of delayed-notice search warrants issued under the expanded powers of the Patriot Act, 2006–2009 were for drugs, less than 1% for terrorism.
via BoingBoing
Paul in KY
John, I’m assuming that’s not anything you haven’t previously told your mother ;-)