Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

I was promised a recession.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

“woke” is the new caravan.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

T R E 4 5 O N

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Don’t expect peaches from an apple tree.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

The words do not have to be perfect.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

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We’re all happy the debate is over. Unfortunately, some of us are having a stupidity hangover:

I’ve already implemented a strong plan that involves spooning, treats, and heavy petting (not that kind you sick bastards), so I hope she will recover quickly.

And I love that dog more than anything or anyone I have ever loved. Also, too. Sorry mom.

Reader Interactions

83Comments

  2. 2.

    JGabriel

    John Cole:

    I’ve already implemented a strong plan that involves spooning, treats, and heavy petting (not that kind you sick bastards)…

    o_O

    Okay. Whatever you say.

    .

  5. 5.

    General Stuck

    Reading the live blogging about the debate, it sounded like bloodthirsty wingnuts being bloodthirsty, applauding the biggest Grim Reeper Gov in our history. So glad I missed that, it would have ruined the evening and maybe tomorrow too.

  6. 6.

    Anya

    I think it’s pet abuse to make them watch the wingut stupidfest. I did not watch the debate but I still cannot get over the spontaneous round of applause for executing people!! WTF! These people are monsters.

  8. 8.

    beltane

    I would not let my dog or my children watch this type of Republican filth on the TV. My cats are a different story.

  9. 9.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    And I love that dog more than anything or anyone I have ever loved. Also, too. Sorry mom.

    You like to live dangerously? Well, if anything happens we will recommend that the police not question your Mom.

    After all, you have enemies all over the country, right? ;)

  11. 11.

    Jade Jordan

    John, you are becoming tragically pathetic. Time to start organizing your telethon. Rosie and Tunch demand equal time.

  12. 12.

    Hill Dweller

    Skipped the debate(skimmed the rundown here), and had the good fortune of catching the start of Hobson’s Choice on TCM.

  14. 14.

    Anya

    BTW John, I don’t have pets but I cannot imagine loving anyone, or anything more than mom and dad, even the future husband?

  19. 19.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    Yeller lasted 17 days until 7:00 pm tonight when he snuck past my wife exiting the front door and he took off. This was after I walked him out to my truck to take him to the park. While I was fishing for my keys he jumped over the SIDE of my FUCKING truck into the bed. I lowered the hitch to get him out and into the front seat. Long 90 minute walk and then he’s back inside the house. 1 minute later and adios. Asshole!

  21. 21.

    John Cole

    @Anya:

    BTW John, I don’t have pets but I cannot imagine loving anyone, or anything more than mom and dad, even the future husband?

    You have never met Lily. I love Rosie and Tunch (my firstborn) but no one touches Lily.

  22. 22.

    Anya

    @licensed to kill time: This is my favorite:

    I don’t blame Bachmann for not believing in evolution. It’s really let her down.

    @John Cole: She’s lovely. But you need to find an adult person to give you love and the heavy petting. Your not without charm, you’re a good cook and funny as hell and cute when cranky.

  24. 24.

    Mark S.

    (not that kind you sick bastards)

    But apparently the kind of spooning us sick bastards are thinking of.

    I still can’t believe Perry doubled down on that Ponzi scheme crap. He will get killed in a general election.

  25. 25.

    AA+ Bonds

    That’s the way you need to do it, not by some scientist somewhere saying, “Here is what we think is happening out there.” –Rick Perry, presumably sober

  26. 26.

    licensed to kill time

    @Anya: :)

    Also:

    Bachmann: “I would cut the price of gasoline in half. Also the IQ of the President.” #gopdebate

  27. 27.

    AA+ Bonds

    IF THERE’S ONE GROUP OF PEOPLE I HATE IT’S THOSE GODDAMNED SCIENTISTS. ALWAYS MAKING SHIT HARD FOR US.

  29. 29.

    Reality Check

    Takeaway from the debate: Rick Perry continues his unstoppable march towards the Presidency. Also enjoyed seeing him kick the sh**t out of that senile toolbag Ron Paul NAFTA SUPERHIGHWAY!!!!!11111

  30. 30.

    Reality Check

    @AA+ Bonds:

    Yes, but what about her blueberry pie?

    God, it’s great to mute a blabbering autistic toolbag like you. God bless the pie filter.

  31. 31.

    AA+ Bonds

    I hope y’all did not actually watch the debate or listen to those people’s braying inhuman voices, just read the transcript like it’s 1932 and then glance blearily at all the stories on every website about the important times when the handpicked audience did or did not clap on cue

  32. 32.

    JGabriel

    I don’t know for sure, but I’d imagine Rick Perry’s tone would remind many women of their delusionally over-confident ex-husband and why they divorced him.

    .

  35. 35.

    Reality Check

    So, Losers (aka Democrats), what will be the excuse you will give for Obama losing to Perry? Will it be TEH DIEBOLD?

    ETA: Even the Useful Idiots of the Democrat Party, in this case Dave Weigel, thinks Perry could “run to the far right and still win a narrow victory”.

  36. 36.

    J. Michael Neal

    @Mark S.: This sick bastard is so busy being ill over the Republicans’ necrophilia that I don’t have time for wondering about Cole’s bestiality.

  38. 38.

    licensed to kill time

    @Reality Check:

    God, it’s great to mute a blabbering autistic toolbag like you. God bless the pie filter.

    I agree. Welcome to the pie filter, Reality “I Make My OWN!” Chex.

  39. 39.

    Anne Laurie

    @Old Dan and Little Ann:

    Yeller lasted 17 days until 7:00 pm tonight when he snuck past my wife exiting the front door and he took off.

    Some dogs just have that glitch in their programming. Day after our “perfect” rescue dog Zevon came to live here, he gave me one of the worst nights of my life by jumping out a window, dropping four feet to land on gravel, and taking off into a drizzly November Sunday evening. He’s also done things like squirming out of his seat belt & jumping out of the car… in a strange city… during a snowstorm. After the first couple scares, I could totally sympathize with the anonymous former-owner who dumped him at a shelter with five years’ worth of veterinary records, because he’s taken years off my life.

    Good news is, almost five years on, reaching senior status has muted the runrunrun glitch considerably. Not that we’re not super-vigilant about keeping him on lead, but when he’s loose in a securely fenced area, he can at long last devote some energy to playing & sniffing & being a dog, not just patrolling the perimeter non-stop searching for an escape route!

  40. 40.

    Katie5

    John, how large/small is Lily? I can’t get a good sense of that. A photo of her next to a standardized object would be good. But don’t photograph her next to Tunch. That’ll give us a complete misrepresentation of her actual size.

  42. 42.

    Anne Laurie

    @Reality Check:

    Even the Useful Idiots of the Democrat Party, in this case Dave Weigel, thinks Perry could “run to the far right and still win a narrow victory”.

    Weigel’s an out-and-proud Libertarian, buttmunch. You can’t finish an entire sentence without committing at least one lie, can you?

  43. 43.

    bkny

    i fear that bloodlust will extend beyond that audience in attendance. and i really think rick perry’s appeal is being underestimated and that he has a shot at becoming president. good gawd.

  44. 44.

    licensed to kill time

    @Anya:

    I hope she just quietly fades away into her deserved obscurity and becomes a minor amusing historical footnote along with that other wacky Bumpit.

    eta: Oh Gawd, that flow chart is funny, thanks!

  45. 45.

    JGabriel

    @Anya:

    So, how long will crazy eyes stay in the race since governor goodhair appropriated most of her lunatic supporters?

    Until, in comparison to Perry, she looks like the sane one.

    I know it’s hard to believe, but at least Bachmann’s not calling SS a Ponzi scheme. Sooner or later, Perry is gonna be recognized as the crazy(er) one.

    .

  46. 46.

    suzanne

    I didn’t get home until late, so I’m watching the debate right now. Ho-lee SHIT, Rick Perry sure is proud of killing people. Mittens is the best hope we have. I am petrified.

    Oi.

  48. 48.

    Anne Laurie

    @Katie5: According to Cole, Lily’s about 20 pounds — nice size for a lap dog, as long as you’ve got a respectable lap. The toy-dog chauvanist in me cannot resist pointing out that Lily’s obviously inherited the gene set for charming & soothing her particular human, which is what toy dogs have been bred for, going back to that point in our species’ mutual history when separating ‘dog’ from ‘wolf’ still puzzles geneticists!

  49. 49.

    Reality Check

    @Anne Laurie:

    I said “Useful Idiot”. Are you aware of the origins of that term? It originally meant those that weren’t Communists, but unwittingly helped them in their goals. Lenin originally coined it. That’s pretty much what Weigel is. While not a full-blown Democrat hack, he helps them in his writing without realizing it.

  50. 50.

    mcd410x

    What I learned tonight? The GOP is in a shooting war — and it’s excited about it. Our side isn’t sure it wants a fight.

    It all feels very Whig c. 1850. Go read Lincoln’s Cooper Union address. Really, nothing has changed.

  53. 53.

    The Spy Who Loved Me

    John’s Mom probably loves her dogs more than John. Sort of karmic equality if you will.

  54. 54.

    suzanne

    @JGabriel:

    I’d imagine Rick Perry’s tone would remind many women of their delusionally over-confident ex-husband and why they divorced him.

    Oh my yes. My chronically unemployed ex-husband.

    However, my ex-husband is better-looking. Is it me, or do they all (except for Cain) look like they’ve been drinking some of Boehner’s no-I-don’t-tan Jesus juice?

  56. 56.

    Reality Check

    @suzanne:

    Oh my yes. My chronically unemployed ex-husband.

    Unemployed??? During Recovery Summer 2: Biden Boogaloo? Must be Bush’s fault!

  57. 57.

    Anne Laurie

    @suzanne:

    Rick Perry sure is proud of killing people. Mittens is the best hope we have. I am petrified.

    If the Permanent Republican Party, and its media courtiers, decide to let Perry take the nomination, it means they’ve decided the GOP brand name is so devalued they’re going full-metal clown-car and hiding out until 2016. I still think Willard will be Tha Winner in Tampa, because the trickster-god enjoys watching my blood pressure spike every time I think about that smarmy putz.

    Remember, Palin’s gone from RedState Hero to getting dissed by Ann Coulter, and she only had a couple months as a “real” candidate before becoming a full-time celebutard. Rick Perry’s fine as a favorite-son hood ornament in Texas, where the governor’s main legislative power is cheerleading and/or pissing off the sane people, but I very much doubt he’s got enough creativity to keep his act entertaining for more than a year in the big-media spotlight.

  58. 58.

    Arm The Homeless

    See, Anne, did you really have to subject us to such a well-reasoned response from De Nada? Now it’s emboldened by the thought that someone who doesn’t have a badge or a restraining-order against them is actually acknowledging their presence.

  62. 62.

    suzanne

    @Anne Laurie: I still think the Mormon thing sinks Romney. We haven’t gotten to the truly nutty evangelical states yet. Perry is a fucking nutbar.

    @Arm The Homeless: Tom Morello has that written on his guitar and it pleases me greatly.

  63. 63.

    Fulcanelli

    Fear not, Rick Perry doesn’t have a chance of getting near the general election and with the baggage Romney’s got? Not gonna happen.

    Mom’s gone full metal Fox News over the last few years but the idea that somebody’s even thinking about fucking with her and her friends’ Social Security sends her into the kind of a red-faced, pants shitting lather like I haven’t seen since I got busted for burning a fatty in High School. Especially since she’s 73 and she can’t afford to quit her job even with her SS check.

    A lot of the olds here in deep blue RI think the same way even though most aren’t too fond of the the Kenyan Usurper and they see right through the republican BS.

    Talk about the issues and she seems normal, but unsupervised she lapses back into that angry, disenfranchised old white person demographic and Fox does know how to whistle their tune.

  64. 64.

    suzanne

    @Reality Check:

    Unemployed??? During Recovery Summer 2: Biden Boogaloo? Must be Bush’s fault!

    Oh, my ex-husband has only himself to blame. I’ve eaten Swiss cheese that has fewer holes than his resume.
    Good try, though.

  68. 68.

    John Weiss

    @Anya: That wasn’t a debate. That was a moderated “discussion”. Goodness.

    Rick Perry is an asshole, OK? I live in another place now, but I’ve spent years in Texas watching RP. He’s a snake oil salesman, that’s it.

  74. 74.

    Fulcanelli

    @TooManyJens – Romney’s sufficiently smarmy and vanilla enough to get the nomination but he’ll never win the general. Remember how the fast the congressional republicans had to back pedal when they tried to pull the SS privatization shit when dubya was in the WH? And that was before the stock market/wall st/bank bailout mess.

    All Obama’s got to do is grease the skids with well timed leaks and ads about how Romney made his millions costing people their jobs in this frackin economy and he’s Jesus on burnt toast. Plus the Suthuners won’t brook no Mormon.

    If Obama doesn’t scream from the rooftops how the wingnuts want to gut FEMA after we’ve had hurricanes, tornados and freakin’ earthquakes. In Virginia? He deserves to lose.

    I’m more worried about more sociopaths getting into Congress.

  77. 77.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Anne Laurie: Escape artists? Our last German Shepherd shredded a screen and jumped out of a second story window. We only had the circumstantial evidence of dog hair on the windowsill and a front porch chair awry. We think she mainly hit the shrubbery and was unharmed.

    However, proof came some time after that a neighbor saw her perched in the same window and got a ladder to push her back inside. Some time after that she was found standing on the back porch roof, too nervous to jump.

  79. 79.

    Arm The Homeless

    @John Weiss: As I get older, I like American milk-chocolate less, and less. But I find myself inextricably drawn to jelly-beans. I think Ronald Reagan is haunting me…

  81. 81.

    Maura Cavaleri

    Cole KILLED on Twitter last night. For the first time evah, I did not watch the debates. I had Cole’s twitter feed, TPM LiveWire and BalloonJuice threads to inform me.

    It was GREAT! No upset tummy after, no waking up cranky this am.

    I love my cats more than anyone other than my son. I would die for them. That may be a little nuts, but that’s the way it is.

  82. 82.

    Nutella

    Unsurprising news: 92 % of delayed-notice search warrants issued under the expanded powers of the Patriot Act, 2006–2009 were for drugs, less than 1% for terrorism.

    via BoingBoing

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