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Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

If you’re looking for someone who’s young and athletic, go watch a fucking movie.

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Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

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You are here: Home / Open Threads / A Riot of My Own

A Riot of My Own

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A couple of the teenagers at our Thanksgiving dinner told me they were going out a midnight just to watch the Black Friday madness. I wondered what could be entertaining about a bunch of shoppers, until I saw this video of the ruckus over $2 waffle makers at some Wal-Mart. As a bonus, it shows what the kids mean by “crack kills”. Here’s an open thread.

Reader Interactions

74Comments

  2. 2.

    Princess

    I see the “Americans Elect” frauds are advertising here. I wonder if we could have some fun with them by all suggesting they all nominate Barack Obama.

  3. 3.

    Johnny Coelacanth

    Ah, the dignity and elegance of consumerist capitalism on full display. Makes ya proud to be an American, don’t it?

  4. 4.

    arguingwithsignposts

    In OT, apparently, the NBA has decided we must not be spared the onset of professional basketball. Another shot in the war on Christmas is fired.

  6. 6.

    GregB

    Greatest capitalists evah!

    I heard the three wise men got in to a scrum over who got to carry the frankincense.

  7. 7.

    Alex

    Is it illegal to take something out of someone’s shopping basket? The store technically owns it until you purchase it, so can these items be stolen from you? If not, what stops people who are willing to go to these lengths to get an item from just taking it from someone else’s cart?

  8. 8.

    Tim O

    I’d like to see a side by side video of this and one of people in Sudan fighting for a cup of rice for some perspective. This is true madness.

  10. 10.

    Citizen_X

    Can you even make a waffle iron for $2? Or is this just some loss leader to get people in the store?

    Perhaps mistermix’s teens have the right idea for Black Friday: public mockery and (Youtube) humiliation.

  13. 13.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Princess:

    They’re asking me “what’s my issue?”

    My issue is hedge funds, and the people who run them. Both should be banned.

  14. 14.

    WereBear

    It couldn’t come at a better time for the OWS movement. It’s an incredible intersection with “I can’t afford anything unless I camp out at Wal-Mart” and just how unimportant a waffle maker is when you risk your life for it.

    Eat pancakes, people!

  15. 15.

    Rick Massimo

    Has McMegan or anyone at NRO made the obligatory “How come you never see a video of that happening at Saks Fifth Avenue? No, I don’t mean anything by that; I’m just saying” post. Because you know it’s coming.

  17. 17.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    OK, now this is a mixed bag.

    On one hand, the NBA has been playing basketball on Christmas Day for as long as I can remember…and I’m thinking like ’63/’64, that time frame. Because I can remember unwrapping my Johnny Seven One Man Army while an NBA game was on.

    On the other hand, playing basketball on Christmas has been declared part of the War on Christmas by who knows how many Christianist loons out there, who object to everything but rabid Mammon-worship on that most sacred day. Like the NBA doesn’t worship Mammon in their own way, too.

  18. 18.

    Cat Lady

    I think I’d rather be pepper sprayed than butt cracked, but to have that even be an actual shopping choice gives me a sad.

  21. 21.

    Violet

    @The Ancient Randonneur:
    At the very end when she turns sideways, you can see that her pants are below her belly on the front, too. What is holding them up? At one point her shirt was up far enough to see her tramp stamp. A nice punctuation mark to the crack. Upside down exclamation point – she must speak Spanish.

    These people are insane. I don’t get it at all. They must get a rush from that kind of shopping, like some people do from drugs. Why else would they do it?

  22. 22.

    J

    @comrade scott’s agenda of rage: It’s certainly tempting to see things that way. Vast, undeserved rewards for a grotesquely corrupt and incompetent overclass, in whose hands ever more power and privilege are being concentrated, bread and circuses (= waffle irons?) for the proles. Meanwhile, of course, Rome is burning (looming economic catastrophe, global warming…)

  23. 23.

    wonkie

    This reminds me a scene in a novel I read years ago. the setting was the border with Mexico. In the story tourists threw coins off a bridge and laughed while watching impoverished children fight over the money.

    On a lighter note, sort of: I once witnessed a rather clever rip off of Walmart. i was sitting on a bench inside the store waiting for someone. From where I sat I could see the lines to the cashier, the way out the door and the greeter person who checks sales slips on people leaving.

    I sort of noticed two women get into a line at the cashier’s. One had a few small purchases and one ws carrying a big box. As the line moved the woman with the big box sort of drifted off towards the way out. She hug there for awhile. Then her partner appeared, having paid for her stuff. The partner’s sales slip went to the hand of the gal with the big box who held it so it would show. They marched out right by the greeter who saw the sales slip and assumed it was for the box.
    It was such a slick operation that I almost didn’t believe my eyes. I just sat there debating with myself: did I really see that?

  26. 26.

    PaulW

    It all depends on the quality of the waffle maker. I mean, a damn good non-stick waffler is nothing to sneeze at.

    But I’m more sad than snarky about this: what does it say about our Great Recession economy that a relatively staple item like a waffle maker gets the riot treatment where it was once a vanity choice item like Tickle Me Elmos?

  28. 28.

    slag

    @J:

    Vast, undeserved rewards for a grotesquely corrupt and incompetent overclass, in whose hands ever more power and privilege are being concentrated, bread and circuses (= waffle irons?) for the proles.

    Speaking of the Waltons…it struck me that they’re the only billionaires on this xkcd infographic who can’t seem to pay their employees a marginally decent wage. That I know of.

    Has anyone done the math on how much the average taxpayer is subsidizing those $2 waffle makers in social services? Not including these subsidies, of course.

  29. 29.

    Jay in Oregon

    Pretty soon they’ll drop the pretense of civility and just start doing Thunderdome-style deathmatches for the privilege of low, low Black Friday prices.

    Maybe it can be a promotional a tie-in with the release of The Hunger Games/The Running Man 2-pack Blu-ray set.

  30. 30.

    suzanne

    I didn’t realize waffle irons were that popular. I’ve never owned one, and don’t plan on doing so any time in the foreseeable future.

    If they were selling KitchenAid stand mixers for $2, I could understand the throw down. But WAFFLES?

  31. 31.

    Richard Fox

    Caligula used to scatter money amongst the Roman populace to watch them crush each other while grabbing the loot. We have progressed though. No Caligulas lurking in Wal-Mart. Or maybe I am just an optimist…?

  34. 34.

    Schlemizel

    @wonkie:

    I saw that scene live. About 40 years ago we were driving into Italy and there was a sharp 90 degree turn just after the boarder. About 8-10 kids where standing at the corner begging. Some people tossed coins out of their cars & the kids would dodge traffic, risking their lives for loose change.

  37. 37.

    Trakker

    The real irony is that those same waffle makers have probably been sitting around all year unsold at $5.99 because customers recognized it was a piece of trash. I doubt if any of those customers even knew what they were buying, but something in a box for $2 MUST be a bargain!

  42. 42.

    RossInDetroit

    Why does Wal-Mart hate Baby Jesus and want to make him cry? They spoil his birthday season with pepper spray, tazers, handcuffs and yelling people!

  44. 44.

    suzanne

    @Trakker: Seriously. I can’t imagine thinking waffles were THAT delicious. What did the cop say about the woman with the pepper spray—she was “competitive shopping”. That’s what these people are doing. Though I have no idea how you decide who wins. Just steal and be done with it.

  46. 46.

    johnsmith1882

    you can take my life, but you’ll never take…my waffle iron!!!

    @trakker #37 above: exactly. junk. the whole lot of it. i never ever ever shop at walmart, but last year i won a $50 gift card from a contest at work. after the card sat on my desk for about 9 months, i decided to just go to stupid walmart and use it. i picked up a few items, and as i walked around to round out the $50, the items i picked up literally fell apart. before i even left the store. so i dropped the junk somewhere and bought some thumb drives and other computer stuff that you cant really eff up, and split. i was in there about half an hour, and had a thorough headache. utterly depressing place. i am entertained by this, though. is that on me, or on the heavy woman with her pants hanging off her ass?

  47. 47.

    gbear

    @WereBear: In one of MSNBC’s stories about the black friday riots, Brian Williams atually mentioned that this is something that the 1% don’t have to subject themselves to because they don’t have to give a shit about what’s on sale. It was a surprising comment.

  48. 48.

    Dr. Loveless

    “He remembered how once he had been walking down a crowded street when a tremendous shout of hundreds of voices – women’s voices – had burst from a side-street a little way ahead. It was a great formidable cry of anger and despair, a deep, loud ‘Oh-o-o-o-oh!’ that went humming on like the reverberation of a bell. His heart had leapt. It’s started! he had thought. A riot! The proles are breaking loose at last! When he had reached the spot it was to see a mob of two or three hundred women crowding round the stalls of a street market, with faces as tragic as though they had been the doomed passengers on a sinking ship. But at this moment the general despair broke down into a multitude of individual quarrels. It appeared that one of the stalls had been selling tin saucepans. They were wretched, flimsy things, but cooking-pots of any kind were always difficult to get. Now the supply had unexpectedly given out. The successful women, bumped and jostled by the rest, were trying to make off with their saucepans while dozens of others clamoured round the stall, accusing the stall-keeper of favouritism and of having more saucepans somewhere in reserve. There was a fresh outburst of yells. Two bloated women, one of them with her hair coming down, had got hold of the same saucepan and were trying to tear it out of one another’s hands. For a moment they were both tugging, and then the handle came off. Winston watched them disgustedly. And yet, just for a moment, what almost frightening power had sounded in that cry from only a few hundred throats ! Why was it that they could never shout like that about anything that mattered?”

  49. 49.

    Violet

    @gbear:
    Fascinating. He’s one of the 1% for sure, but it’s interesting that the entire concept of 99% and 1% is entering discussions of things like Black Friday. Never would have happened without OWS.

  52. 52.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    Here in Rockwall, TX, they had a woman who was faking a pregnancy attempting to fake labor when the store was going to open at ten in an attempt to distract the other shoppers so her partner could get ahead of them. He, for some reason, had a crowbar as well.

  53. 53.

    RossInDetroit

    Jay Gould said “I can hire one-half of the working class to kill the other half.”
    The Waltons have one-upped him and managed to get the Working Class to pay for the privilege.

  54. 54.

    Joseph Nobles

    @Dr. Loveless: Thank you.

    Next Black Friday we must have a reality series. “The Real Black Friday Shoppers of Las Vegas” ought to do the trick. Hold auditions. Have the series regulars do practice runs. Then give them all a $1,000 Visa gift card on Thanksgiving and the people who bring back the most loot at retail price (must have receipts dated on Black Friday) wins a million dollars. Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is revocation of citizenship and immediate deportation to Somalia.

  55. 55.

    Joseph Nobles

    @johnsmith1882: Neither Huxley nor Orwell dreamed that we would willingly sign up for a constant state of electronic surveillance on our cellphones and Facebook.

  57. 57.

    nancydarling

    This reminds me of the scene in “A Tale of Two Cities” when the wine cask breaks in front of DeFarge’s shop and the peasants are sopping it up with their kerchiefs. There are many other parallels to today’s world. The rich don’t run down poor children with their carriages and leave them to die, but they do put their polluting industries in poor communities and kill them slowly. Google Koch Industries + Crosset, Arkansas.

  60. 60.

    Lurker

    @nancydarling:

    The rich don’t run down poor children with their carriages and leave them to die, but they do put their polluting industries in poor communities and kill them slowly.

    After the S-CHIP and Affordable Care Act fights, I suspect some of the rich also want to withhold healthcare for sick children, too.

  63. 63.

    Zagloba

    @Joseph Nobles: Neither Huxley nor Orwell dreamed that we would willingly sign up for a constant state of electronic surveillance on our cellphones and Facebook.

    Reread 1984: Party members purchased their telescreens. The only thing Orwell missed was that the all-seeing surveillance mechanism needs to be sexy and provide quick-cut entertainment.

  64. 64.

    Rita R.

    Instead of mocking the working class and poor people involved in these “riots,” we should be saving our derision for the retailers that encourage and enable this kind of behavior with the relentless hawking of Black Friday and “door-buster” sales and the like. Honestly, what did they expect when they dumped a pile of $2 waffle-makers on the sales floor? They want those scenes in the news — come and get your whatever crappy product for cheap now before they’re all gone! It’s all hype and PR.

  66. 66.

    Mnemosyne

    @Rita R.:

    And Wal-Mart is clearly skimping on security in order to get those pictures. They could easily avoid riots and deaths using simple crowd control measures like wristbands, but they want that footage and news coverage.

    They’re actively encouraging bad behavior in their customers, and the news media can’t get enough of it.

  68. 68.

    Librarian

    Back in the old Soviet Union, where the state stores would sell stuff randomly whenever it was available, shoppers used to carry bags with them on the off chance that they saw anything good for sale, and they would get on lines without even knowing what was being sold, believing that anything worth lining up for was worth having. And we are superior to the Soviets exactly how?

  70. 70.

    Geoduck

    @Violet:

    Fascinating. He’s one of the 1% for sure, but it’s interesting that the entire concept of 99% and 1% is entering discussions of things like Black Friday.

    As much money as he is presumably paid, I’ll confidently say that Williams is still not a 1%er, just one of their more high-profile lackeys.

  71. 71.

    JenJen

    @PaulW:

    But I’m more sad than snarky about this: what does it say about our Great Recession economy that a relatively staple item like a waffle maker gets the riot treatment where it was once a vanity choice item like Tickle Me Elmos?

    I mostly agree, and I’m glad you brought up Tickle Me Elmos because honestly, crazed consumption isn’t all that new. When I was a teen in the 80’s working at a K-Mart, I saw the Cabbage Patch Kids craze with my own eyes. If only we’d had cellphone cams back then, because when we would get shipments of those dolls in, the crowds looked and behaved exactly like these waffle maker freaks.

  73. 73.

    RSA

    @Rick Massimo:

    “How come you never see a video of that happening at Saks Fifth Avenue? No, I don’t mean anything by that; I’m just saying”

    I had the same thought, and then I remembered Enron: “Yeah, now she wants her fucking money back for all the power you’ve charged right up, jammed right up her ass fucking $250 a megawatt hour.”

    The 1%ers don’t have any special moral high ground.

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