Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

This really is a full service blog.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

When we show up, we win.

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you do not.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

People are weird.

… gradually, and then suddenly.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

Dear media: perhaps we ought to let Donald Trump speak for himself!

Petty moves from a petty man.

the 10% who apparently lack object permanence

Our messy unity will be our strength.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

Bad people in a position to do bad things will do bad things because they are bad people. End of story.

A norm that restrains only one side really is not a norm – it is a trap.

After dobbs, women are no longer free.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

When they say they are pro-life, they do not mean yours.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

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Reader Interactions

62Comments

  3. 3.

    debit

    Wasn’t McCain down to flying coach at some point? I remember my boss at the time going to pick him up at the airport when he came to Minneapolis. I was sure he was done at that point, but I guess I was wrong and being out of campaign money was good news for John McCain.

  4. 4.

    dmsilev

    He’s still got that credit line at Tiffany’s to draw on. Can they produce campaign ads?

  6. 6.

    SteveinSC

    “From your wallet to Tiffany’s.” But, but, but, the Colony on the Moon. How will we ever get those people back down? And what of the enduring truths of de Tocqueville? The horror. “Qualis artifex pereo!”

  7. 7.

    dmsilev

    @debit: Yes, but that nadir happened the summer before the first primaries, giving him time to recover. In Newt’s case, a large swath of states have already voted, and there are only a couple of months to go before the bitter end. I fear this is the Twilight Of the Newt (cue the overwrought Wagnerian soundtrack…).

  8. 8.

    gorillagogo

    Newt is charging $50 for photos and firing staff

    When I saw this in my RSS feed, I thought “I can fire somebody and get a photo for just fifty bucks?”

  9. 9.

    c u n d gulag

    He’s charging the $50 to help cover the cost of the wide-angle lens needed to photograph him.

  10. 10.

    NotMax

    Guess that’s the post-modern equivalent of biting the heads off chickens since carnival sideshows have gone the way of the dodo.

    Next, maybe for $100 maybe he’ll burn a Saul Alinsky tome on camera while whistling Dixie?

  12. 12.

    Jay in Oregon

    @debit:

    I guess I was wrong and being out of campaign money was good news for John McCain.

    He’s had a pretty good run on the Sunday talk shows as the Villagers’ President-in-Exile.

  13. 13.

    beltane

    @Ash Can: The exercise will be good for him. Or maybe he can devise some kind of hot-air powered form of transportation to carry him to Tampa.

  15. 15.

    JGabriel

    Newt ran as a historian, and soon his campaign will be history.
    __
    Someday another historian will write Newt’s biography, and that historian will be rich, rich I tell you, when that biography ends up being the best-selling humor book for six months straight.
    __
    .

  16. 16.

    Shandi Hade

    I was hoping someone here could be able to support me , we just moved here and rented a place that requires the carpets cleaned does any one know of a enterprise that has as good as costs on carpet cleaning as Alpha Steam Cleaners and Carpet Cleaning 3000 windy hill rd, marietta, GA 30006 (770) 374-7915

  17. 17.

    NotMax

    Also, as Gingrich is collecting credit card info from suckers — er, um, fans — who buy into this claptrap, it shouldn’t be too long after he formally ascends — er, um, drops out — that the database is reported compromised and the credit card numbers filched.

  20. 20.

    bemused

    I won’t miss Newt but there were moments of hilarity. The sight of a campaign staffer whose job was to dress in an elephant costume to help hawk Callista’s book was priceless.

  23. 23.

    Ash Can

    @beltane: Now you’ve given me the picture in my mind of Callista standing next to a highway, holding a rope in one hand, the end of which is tethered to a rotund, floating Newt, and a sign in the other reading “TAMPA OR BUST.” And a kid in the back of a passing station wagon pointing at them and yelling “Look! Clowns!”

  24. 24.

    Raven

    I know ya’ll hate huff post but this headline is a killer!

    Arlen Specter: ‘Mitt Romney Has Changed Positions More Often Than A Pornographic Movie Queen’

  25. 25.

    quannlace

    Awwwww. It’s so hard choosing who to play the tiniest violin for, these days.
    But Newt is still spewing the nonsense (and even he sounds like he’s just going thru the motions) that he WILL be the Republican nominee and he’s the best to debate Obama.
    Please.
    That would be the easiest debate for Prez. Obama. He’d only need two phrases thru the entire thing.
    “That’s an outright lie.” And.
    “Excuse me, Mr. Gingrich, but are you nuts?”

  26. 26.

    Mark S.

    Rand Paul:

    We as a society need to glorify those who make a profit

    I sometimes wonder if these people take their worship of money a little too far.

  27. 27.

    Marcellus Shale, Public Dick

    no, no, the firing people is a genius plan to appeal to republican undecideds. the charging of 50 bucks a picture is good campaigning, everybody who’s ever sold anything, would love a list of people who would pay 50 bucks to be photographed with newt gingrich.

    either that or the gop race for the nomination has become cancerous.

    so who here is from out of town?

  28. 28.

    4tehlulz

    It looks like Ricky has won the prime-time speech primary.

    I guarantee that it will do more for Obama than Buchanan’s ’92 speech did for Clinton.

  30. 30.

    Dr. Loveless

    Look for him in the autograph booths at Comic-Con, right next to Elvira, Dirk Benedict, and the guy who played “Klingon #3” in the Star Trek episode, “The Trouble with Tribbles.”

  32. 32.

    Snarki, child of Loki

    Well Newt’s photo-grift was supposed to be in northern Delaware, so I suppose you could set up a photo-op with him and Christ.O’Dumbbell.

    Why, it would be like a family reunion, O’Dumbbell being the daughter of a Bozo-clone and everything.

  33. 33.

    peach flavored shampoo

    A Pornographic Movie Queen’

    This is funny b/c this is EXACTLY how I picture a septagenerian (octo?) refering to a porn star.

    Old people are hilarious.

  36. 36.

    RossInDetroit

    This is (slightly) bad for Mitt. The more NotMitts there are splitting the MotMitt vote the stronger Mitt looks. With Newt losing his attractive power, Rih gets more votes and it looks like Mitt has a real challenger (he doesn’t).
    I’ll miss The Professor. He added a sort of nutty vitality to the proceedings.

  40. 40.

    gocart mozart

    “Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
    Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
    Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s sting,
    Lizard’s leg, and howlet’s wing,–
    For a charm of powerful trouble,
    Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.”

    I was going to change some of the words to spoof it, but it seems perfectly apt as is.

  44. 44.

    Amir Khalid

    It will be a sad moment when Noot gets out of the Clown Car. He had an absolutely brilliant early 2011 with the most wacked-out Republican campaign. But I wonder, just how is Ron Paul staying in? As a perennial fringe candidate, he’s never had a sugar daddy like Noot, or Establishment connections like Mitt? How are his young libertarian followers keeping him in the game without big money?

  46. 46.

    SteveinSC

    @peach flavored shampoo: “Porongraphic Movie Queen.” Does that mean a girl or a guy? Also if Specter actually ever saw a porn movie, he’d realize the “Pornographic Movie Queens” spend too much time in one position. Causes one to lose interest, if you know what I mean.

  48. 48.

    RossInDetroit

    @gocart mozart:

    I’d pay real money for a copy of the logical dataflow diagrams of Mittbot’s software. Gotta be a lot of unresolvable loops in there.

  49. 49.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    I wouldn’t count him out just yet. None of the clown car bunch has actually ended their campaign, have they? Any one of them is ready to reconstitute after their dry spell, just add a few drops of wingnut tears or tyrants’ blood or something.

    Basically, none of these goobers will EVER SHUT UP.

  51. 51.

    RossInDetroit

    Ron Paul seems to be running his operation on a shoestring. Considering he has 6% – 10% of the vote where he runs he certainly has enough support in small donations to keep the show on the road. Not to win anything. Not by several orders of magnitude and not in this dimension of reality, but he’s out there making speeches and pressing the flesh. Which seems to be the point of the exercise, and why not?

  52. 52.

    RossInDetroit

    @Xecky Gilchrist:

    I was thinking PASCAL, with a defective stack that keeps his reentrant routines from terminating.

    Or maybe if you popped his panel there’d just be a Steampunk Etch-A-Sketch with an Arduino drawing dollar signs over and over.

  55. 55.

    Jay in Oregon

    @RossInDetroit:

    I remember reading an article, around the 2000 election time period, about Harry Browne (the Libertarian candidate) and Ralph Nader and third-party candidates in general. One part that stood out to me was something to the effect of “Browne saw Nader’s campaign as proof that there’s a lot of money to be made as the head of a minority party.”

    Ron Paul doesn’t need to win; as long as he keeps placing he can keep the money flowing in. Sarah Palin should take notes…

  56. 56.

    RossInDetroit

    Newt is an active process that generates random stuff with a lot of energy. Callista is a feedback network that normalizes his output toward the maximization of cash.

  57. 57.

    Dave

    @dedc79:

    I hear that providing “historian services” can be quite lucrative….

    Callista reminds of the related moneymaker: “servicing historians”.

    Here’s a free gallon of brain bleach, it’s the least I can do.

  58. 58.

    LanceThruster

    Keep runnin’, Newt. Leave Callista at home. How good of a wingman could she be? You’ll do better flying solo.

  59. 59.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @JGabriel: And the obvious title for said tome would be “N Weddings & A Political Funeral”…N=3 at the moment but you wonder how long the current “I of Newt” will stick around after that Tiffany LOC dries up like a river in Oz…

  60. 60.

    shortstop

    @Raven: I was unaware that Specter is now working as a standup comedian. Now that I am aware, I can’t seem to put together a coherent response.
    __
    @RossInDetroit: Best thing I’ve heard all week.

  61. 61.

    priscianusjr

    @RossInDetroit: but he’s out there making speeches and pressing the flesh. Which seems to be the point of the exercise, and why not?

    But it doesn’t seem to have been the point of Newt’s exercise. By the way, what was the point? Ask Shelly Adelson what he shelled out $16 1/2 million for.

  62. 62.

    bjacques

    Truly a sad day. One must have the heart of stone not to collapse into tears…of laughter!

    And while we’re on the theme of androids…

    The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long – and you have burned so very, very brightly, Newt.

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