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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Principled Burkeans

Principled Burkeans

by DougJ|  May 23, 201212:54 pm| 80 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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A lot of the Whitewater stuff wasn’t all that different from this (via).

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80Comments

  1. 1.

    Alexandra

    May 23, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    Nice tag. ;)

  2. 2.

    Carbon Dated

    May 23, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    Actually it’s a little more like the flak Junior Bush took for wearing a jetpack or something during his debates with Kerry.

  3. 3.

    SteveM

    May 23, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    Wait till they start applying the McMahon-McMillan Inverted Refractory Process.

  4. 4.

    Legalize

    May 23, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    But this is proof of something!

  5. 5.

    SteveM

    May 23, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    @Alexandra: Ditto.

  6. 6.

    Napoleon

    May 23, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    The funniest part about these lunitics and this theory is that last I checked OBAMA IS PRESIDENT AND HAS ACCCESS TO THE SITUATION ROOM 24/7/365. Why the fuck would he need to be photo shopped in. Hell, if he wanted to “fake” a picture all he would have to do is get the people he wanted in the fake picture and have them pose for a picture. Its not like he is in a picture with somebody he couldn’t do that with like, say Mother Theresa.

  7. 7.

    PeakVT

    May 23, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    Fucking optics, how does it work?

    ETA: do they work? Whatever.

  8. 8.

    dmsilev

    May 23, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    I demand that someone go into their back yard and shoot a watermelon.

  9. 9.

    Jeff Spender

    May 23, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    HA HA HA!

    This is the kind of trolling I’d pull on my liberal friends when they really start annoying me.

    Jesus McAllah, what the fuck is wrong with these people.

  10. 10.

    kd bart

    May 23, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    If partaking of such foolish endeavors prevented these people from spawning, I would be all in favor of them. But unfortunately, these dumb asses manage to reproduce. Thus, they will always be with us.

  11. 11.

    dmsilev

    May 23, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    Also, too,

    Zebest ponders why, if the codename for the Bin Laden mission was “Geronimo,” this document says “CODEWORD NOFORN.” She floats as a possible explanation that this was “another disturbing attempt to casually release confidential information to our enemies.” Unfortunately for Zebest, “NOFORN” is not actually a secret codeword: it means the document is “Not Releasable to Foreign Nationals.”

    Conspiracy theorist missed an opportunity, since the ‘NOFORN’ binder was in front of Hillary Clinton. _Clearly_, Madame Secretary is having additional difficulties with her husband and is attempting to send him a message warning him against fornication.

  12. 12.

    Violet

    May 23, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    Love the tag! What would Plato and Aristotle think?

  13. 13.

    Jibeaux

    May 23, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    See, some people think that the FPers should just stop reading Sully, but that only works if you’re satisfied with the like 650 tags we already have. This new one is a thing of beauty.

  14. 14.

    feebog

    May 23, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    Jerome Corsi on line one for you Ms Zebest…

  15. 15.

    Keith

    May 23, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    Wow, apparently they’ve even stumbled onto a conspiracy with Obama throwing a football. You see, he throws a baseball differently from a football; that cannot be! And the JPEG image they were looking at…it had weird pixellated effects round his tie. Nothing is real to these people because the look too closely at stuff without understanding lossy compression and automatic image enhancement. Seriously, at some point in the next year, you will read about one of these nutjobs claiming that some Obama event was filmed in a studio instead of really happening because it looks “soap opera-ish” on their LCD TV.

  16. 16.

    jl

    May 23, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    Is that photoshop disaster blog still in business?

    The conspiracy nuts should just submit their stuff there.

    But perhaps they think that these sensitive pieces of evidence should be protected by secret NOFORN status, and kept on lock down, until analyzed to death by wingnut goofballs.

  17. 17.

    different-church-lady

    May 23, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    I’m thinking “Then who’s pants are these?” trends in BJ memewatch.

    How is it possible there is enough room in these people’s brains to accomodate even an autonomic nervous system?

  18. 18.

    Spaghetti Lee

    May 23, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    …the fuck?

  19. 19.

    shortstop

    May 23, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    @dmsilev: You’re good at this.

    ETA: Now do the missing chunk of ear. I say Michelle–a spectacularly angry black woman–bit it off when she found out Barack never broke it off with Larry Sinclair, but I think you can best that.

  20. 20.

    arguingwithsignposts

    May 23, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    Hmmm. Needs more kerning.

  21. 21.

    kd bart

    May 23, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    Obama faked the moon landing. It was all staged in Bill Ayers’ apartment.

  22. 22.

    jl

    May 23, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    @different-church-lady:

    I thought it was a line from some movie ballad. From Titanic, maybe?

  23. 23.

    different-church-lady

    May 23, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    @Jeff Spender:

    This is the kind of trolling I’d pull on my liberal friends when they really start annoying me.

    It’s gotta be just spoofing at this point — they must be sitting around thinking, “What can we come up with that’s so inventively idiotic that liberal heads will explode just trying to comprehend it?”

  24. 24.

    eric

    May 23, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    mock this if you want libtards, but you cant deny that Obama would do anything to get re-elected including bribing students with more affordable loans and bribing unions by bailing out the auto industry. This guy is all about himself and the way he uses that bs nobel prize getting China all worked up about some blind dissident. wake up sheeple, you can see that Obama is trying to pretend he is important to make people (or sheeple in your case) think that he is doing something, when he has done nothing to help the economy, even going so far as to ram Keynesian spending down our throats and washing it down with his unconstitutional ACA and auto bailouts. I am so moving to Montana if he wins again — at least those people know how to elect republican leaders out in the rugged west.

  25. 25.

    Amir Khalid

    May 23, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    Pah. This is nothing. Did the White House ever explain the Situation Room photo where they were all wearing Princess Beatrice’s Flying Spaghetti Monster hat?

  26. 26.

    gwangung

    May 23, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    @Keith: Um, these are the same folks who saw closed captions and thought they were nefarious plots by the President to direct audiences to do….something.

    IOW, not the sharpest pencils in the box and best treated by derision…

  27. 27.

    Spaghetti Lee

    May 23, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    @eric:

    5/10.

  28. 28.

    different-church-lady

    May 23, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    @eric:

    wake up sheeple

    WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

  29. 29.

    shortstop

    May 23, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    @eric: I haz a sad thinking about how Burns, Ralf W, Gaz and a few other members of our literalati will be responding indignantly and at length. Okay, maybe it’s a happy.

  30. 30.

    jaime

    May 23, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    Looked at the American Thinker thread, this by FAR is the best comment.

    “Still, too many conspiracy theories going around.
    All the important things are being lost and obscured in the deluge.Typical communist tactic -“

  31. 31.

    jl

    May 23, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    Here you go.

    Folks, I suggest Balloon Juice, the Sherlock Holmes of all blogs, submit the evidence to experts.

    Not sure if this is the blog I looked a few times a couple of years ago, but dude the NoBama forgeries look a lot faker than these photoshop disasters, ya think?

    PS Disasters blog
    http://www.psdisasters.com/

  32. 32.

    taylormattd

    May 23, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    The Whitewater reference is very apt. How long before a very serious republican Congressman is out in his backyard shooting a watermelon to prove Obama didn’t order OBL killed?

  33. 33.

    eric

    May 23, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    @jaime: i tip my cap at that. I cannot compete with that. wow

  34. 34.

    JPL

    May 23, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    After looking at Obama’s ear, I can’t help but wonder where was Mike Tyson? Are those Tyson’s pants but he was photo shopped out of the picture. Is Tyson actually running foreign policy?

  35. 35.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 23, 2012 at 1:18 pm

    In case anyone was wondering, they are my pants. I just don’t know why they were in the situation room.

  36. 36.

    handsmile

    May 23, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    At least with Vince Foster, there was a body. With OBL…?

    Documents can be forged, photographs altered, witnesses bought off or eliminated.

    “Pants” are the merest hem of this conspiracy. I’m just sayin’….

  37. 37.

    Comrade Dread

    May 23, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    The pants belonged to Clinton, which brings us full circle. Clinton was somewhere in the White House sans pants!

    Time for another impeachment hearing.

  38. 38.

    DougJ, Head of Infidelity

    May 23, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    @Alexandra:

    Thanks

  39. 39.

    arguingwithsignposts

    May 23, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: I left them there by mistake.

  40. 40.

    eric

    May 23, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    @Comrade Dread: this proves that Hillary really is the one that wears the pants cause Bill left his in the Situation Room years ago.

  41. 41.

    "Fair and Balanced" Dave

    May 23, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    @dmsilev:

    Zebest ponders why, if the codename for the Bin Laden mission was “Geronimo,” this document says “CODEWORD NOFORN.” She floats as a possible explanation that this was “another disturbing attempt to casually release confidential information to our enemies.” Unfortunately for Zebest, “NOFORN” is not actually a secret codeword: it means the document is “Not Releasable to Foreign Nationals.”

    You have obviously failed to grasp the latest rule change in Conservative Calvinball. The document is not releasable to foreign nationals and Obama is a secret Kenyan.

  42. 42.

    kd bart

    May 23, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    Breitbart was so closed to the truth when they killed him.

  43. 43.

    eric

    May 23, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    @kd bart: “closed” to the truth….indeed :)

  44. 44.

    J.W. Hamner

    May 23, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    @jaime:

    If I’m reading this right… that means Obama is releasing photos and birth certificates that aren’t fake, but look fake to the trained detective eyes of random conservatives on the internet. By doing this he distracts the conservative movement with these trivialities so as to slip his truly devious machinations through unnoticed. While Real American Patriots are busy debating “Whose pants are these?”, the TRUE conspiracy is beginning to unfold…

  45. 45.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 23, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts: That raises more questions than it answers.

  46. 46.

    arguingwithsignposts

    May 23, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: It’s what we do. ;)

  47. 47.

    Svensker

    May 23, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    @jaime:

    I love you for reporting that.

  48. 48.

    Steeplejack

    May 23, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    Those East German judges are always tough.

  49. 49.

    Hewer of Wood, Drawer of Water

    May 23, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    @jaime: yes they need to settle on one conspiracy theory and stick with it.

    But I’ve said too much already

  50. 50.

    Jay in Oregon

    May 23, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    @kd bart:
    I thought the moon landing was faked at ACORN headquarters.

  51. 51.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 23, 2012 at 1:52 pm

    Dammit, we need to take steps to insure people like this bint don’t breed, if humanity has any sort of future.

  52. 52.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 23, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Oh yes you do.

    You and Michelle had to high tail it out of there in a hella hurry when Gates and those other people were heard in the stairwell.

  53. 53.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    May 23, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    Lovely, optical illusions created by our minds desire to see patterns is now prouf.

  54. 54.

    Jay in Oregon

    May 23, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:
    We tried fluoridating their water but they saw through that tactic.

    Then we tried direct mind control with HAARP but that was exposed as well.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_c6HsiixFS8

  55. 55.

    Lee

    May 23, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    I agree 5/10. I was going to go with a 3/10 but his use of a solid wall of text really sold the crazy.

    We still need better trolls.

  56. 56.

    the fugitive uterus

    May 23, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    @eric: what makes the midwest so special over the south? we’ve got just as much racism down here, thank you very much!

  57. 57.

    Nemesis

    May 23, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    I blame Obama for creating the toxic environment that drives wingers crazy. That and he’s blah. Really blah.

  58. 58.

    jl

    May 23, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    @Lee: I think that was a spoof troll. Or, a real troll who does not know who the governor of Montana is. Probably the former.

    Anyway, I say, let’s declare war and invade Hawaii and get to the bottom of it. They have the evidence, or evidence of absence, or absence of evidence, or something, and won’t cough it up.

  59. 59.

    bemused

    May 23, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    I just had a horrible thought. Now I am wondering how many of my republican friends and family who think Fox is fair and balanced but are not George Tierney lunatics believe some of these way around the bend conspiracy theories. I don’t think I want to know.

  60. 60.

    Judas Escargot, Your Postmodern Neighbor

    May 23, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    Has anybody looked at the kerning on that NOFORN document yet?

    The people must know the truth about PANTSGATE!

  61. 61.

    jl

    May 23, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    @Nemesis:

    ” I blame Obama for creating the toxic environment that drives wingers crazy. ”

    Obama is uncivilly civil, especially for ‘his kind’. If only we could make the country see how toxic that kind of tactic is, he would lose. We need a big ad campaign, financed by some wigged out old rich guy. That would do it.

  62. 62.

    Bubblegum Tate

    May 23, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    @dmsilev:

    I demand that someone go into their back yard and shoot a watermelon.

    Or at least re-create the meeting in their sandbox with their G.I. Joes.

  63. 63.

    xochi

    May 23, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    When is the Administration going to release the long-form pants? We deserve the truth!

  64. 64.

    Ecks

    May 23, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    Transparent neck edges are bad, I grant you, but it took Woody Allen to answer what happens when all of your edges are transparent.

  65. 65.

    Ruckus

    May 23, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    @different-church-lady:
    How is it possible there is enough room in these people’s brains to accomodate even an autonomic nervous system?

    You have it backwards. That’s all they have room for in their tiny, tiny little minds.

  66. 66.

    jl

    May 23, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    @different-church-lady:

    “Then who’s pants are these?”

    ATTN COLE: New rotating tag line for blog head. Add asap. Do it.

  67. 67.

    trollhattan

    May 23, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    Failed to stick the landing, also, too, the routine has a (very) low difficulty rating. Still, good to know Montana works as a cockroach attractant.

  68. 68.

    trollhattan

    May 23, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    @Jay in Oregon:

    The tricky bit–nobody knows where ACORN HQ is because it’s mounted on one of Saddam’s mobile bio weapon labs.

    I learned this from Colin Powell.

  69. 69.

    trollhattan

    May 23, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    @Comrade Dread:

    Also, also, too. “Who’s pants are these?” is cleverly asking, “Who is pants?”, which I take to mean Hillary is actually in charge. PUMAlicious!

  70. 70.

    Gex

    May 23, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    The ear thing just proves our first gay president is having an affair with Mike Tyson.

  71. 71.

    Gex

    May 23, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    I fear the right is generating rotating tag lines faster than it would be reasonable to add them and more numerous than we want the rotation to contain. We’ll have to have a tag voting system to rein in the tags.

  72. 72.

    dww44

    May 23, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    @bemused: I’m afraid that you may be right. I have lots of those friends and relatives and I know that many believe in a good bit of this garbage. It’s almost all reflexive for them these days. They believe BECAUSE they want to. All there is to it. Have no ability to think impartially or rationally about Obama.

  73. 73.

    jl

    May 23, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    @Gex: Uh oh. Now it’s ‘out there’. I think the fact that the WH has not handled its Mike Tyson problem is very troubling.

  74. 74.

    bemused

    May 23, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    @Gex:

    I’m almost tempted to pry around the edges to see what falls out but it would crush me if I found out they buy into the really insane stuff.

  75. 75.

    wrb

    May 23, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    What creatures’ ear bite results in transparent neck-edge?, asks Romney spokesperson George Tierney Jr.

  76. 76.

    Ed Drone

    May 23, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    @jl:

    @different-church-lady:

    “Then who’s pants are these?”

    ATTN COLE: New rotating tag line for blog head. Add asap. Do it.

    If you do, correct “who’s” to “whose,” please.

    Ed

  77. 77.

    Ed Drone

    May 23, 2012 at 5:09 pm

    @Gex:

    We’ll have to have a tag voting system to rein in the tags.

    Isn’t “Tagg” a pulin’ Palin?

    Ed

  78. 78.

    greenergood

    May 23, 2012 at 6:21 pm

    Great: I’ll soon be getting another email (with various forwarded attachments from mom’s friends) from my mom about this, or another birther site, or about how much Michelle’s clothes/children/travel arrangements/security arrangements cost and how all of America is just totally impoverished and Obamacare is communist, etc. etc. Meanwhile my brother’s a hedge fund manager of the Ayn Rand ilk. I’m really looking forward to Thanksgiving …

  79. 79.

    Elie

    May 23, 2012 at 8:19 pm

    Y’all are cracking me up tonight… Thanks! No place like BJ for sharp repartee… :-)

  80. 80.

    Zach

    May 25, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    I know we’re talking about folks who are pretty anti-science here, but I didn’t realize that we were re-litigating the wave/particle nature of light. Did you know Osama Bin Laden and the Unabomber and Hitler also believed in the diffraction limit? Teach the controversy!

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