With so many bigots and morans running loose in these here United States, it always comes as a pleasant surprise when the anonymous owner of a company I’ve dealt with turns out to be a mensch:
In the months leading up to North Carolina’s vote this month to ban gay marriage, most of the state’s business leaders were conspicuously silent. While some executives spoke out against it as individuals, not one Fortune 500 company based in North Carolina, including Bank of America, Duke Energy, VF Corporation and Lowe’s, opposed it.
But one company did: Replacements Limited, which sells silver, china and glassware, and is based in Greensboro. Its founder and chairman, Bob Page, is gay. The company lobbied legislators, contributed money to causes supporting gay marriage, rented a billboard along the interstate near its headquarters, and sold T-shirts at its showroom. Its experience may explain why no other for-profit company followed its example.
Hostile letters and e-mails poured into the company from customers canceling their business and demanding to be removed from its e-mail list. “I understand that your company donated $250,000 or so to the effort to ban the marriage amendment,” read one. “I am very concerned that with an increased visibility and acceptance of the gay and lesbian lifestyle, one of my children, who would have grown up and been happily married to a husband, could be tempted to the lesbian lifestyle.”…
Mr. Page, 67, said he didn’t like politics and wasn’t “extreme,” or “in your face” about being gay. But, he added: “I just refuse to hide. I did that way too many years and it’s just not healthy.”
At the same time, he said: “I’m always concerned I will hurt our business. I know we have lost business. But I don’t have a board or shareholders I have to answer to. My life is not about money.”
Despite this month’s lopsided vote in favor of the amendment (it passed by a margin of 20 percentage points), Mr. Page said that he considered his money well spent, and that tolerance in North Carolina, while it may have a long way to go, has improved. “I love children, and it tears me apart when I think about these young kids and teens who are committing suicide, like the young guy at Rutgers who jumped off the bridge. This doesn’t have to happen. I want things to be better for other people than it was for me. I truly hope things will be better, and I want to do my part to make things better for those coming after us.”
Read the whole article, it’s a weekend. And, if you’re looking for wedding gifts, Replacements, Ltd is a good source even if (like me) you’re only interested in Corningware or collectibles.
BerkeleyMom
I need a few more pieces of my china and flatware. I know where I’m going to get them. Thanks Mr. Page for fighting the good fight.
Steve in DC
just another reason why wall street and profits by quarter are the problem.
Alison
Funny too, that when it happens the other way – when LGBT groups and allies talk about boycotting companies for anti-gay stances or donations, the homophobes flip out and talk about how UNFAIR that is and FREE SPEECH and JEEBUS and blah blah. It’s horribly wrong and unAmerican to choose not to patronize a business that is actively working to stomp on you and your livelihood and your rights…but it’s peachy keen to do so for one that is simply saying “Hey, maybe we shouldn’t treat anyone as a second-class citizen”.
A-holes.
Mark
We knew the NYT would have mostly positive comments, but this was in there too:
“Shirley, Panama City – I feel bad for Mr. Page, but business is business, and one should always protect one’s business, or face the possible consequences. If he is ready to face the possible downturn in his business, good for him, but I would not have gone out on a limb to express my support for the upcoming vote. I wish him the best.”
It’s rare that someone admits they have no courage and somehow uses that to attack someone else’s courage.
Gretchen
My gay niece just announced her marriage plans. Her sisters told her they wouldn’t be attending because of their “religion”. I am heartsick for her. My husband, who saw her once a year, predicted that she would grow up to be gay when she was 4. The people who lived with her are still surprised and still think she should stop it. We will, of course, be attending, and keep trying to make the rest of the family uncomfortable for being jerks.
TheMightyTrowel
@Gretchen: Congratulations to your niece! Right now I’m the only queer in my rather large family and they mostly ignore it because my current other half is opposite gendered. I have a younger cousin who i’m pretty sure is gay, but she’s 22 and not saying anything to me or anyone else, probably because her parents are a hot mess and the only practicing catholics left in the family.
Gretchen
@TheMightyTrowel:
My niece came out to my daughters a couple of years ago, and they said “We knew that”. She said “I wish you’d told me!”. It’s been a real struggle for her in a small-town Catholic family. Maybe you could give her a head’s up?
geg6
OMG, my John was doing some consulting work for Replacements Unlimited when I first met him, about 6 years ago. I still have a long sleeved polo shirt he got me there with their logo. I love that shirt (very comfy and high quality) and I wear it all the time. I will wear it even more proudly now.
In other news, I had to get a cake for the family gathering today and it’s very pretty. Red, white, and blue (marble cake) with fireworks piped on it and a big ol’ USA. When the lady asked if I wanted a special message on it, I said yes, can you put “Obama/Biden 2012” on it. She looked at me like I had three heads and, before she could stop herself, said “no, I can’t”. The woman standing next to me just looked at her and then me (I was about to go off and tell the baker that she should do her job and shut up or get me a manager). She must have thought twice, because she smiled and said of course and then brought the cake over while she piped it on so I could make sure she spelled it right.
WTF, I gotta deal with this shit at the grocery store now?
TheMightyTrowel
@Gretchen: I’ve tried. I think this is a time thing more than anything else.
TheMightyTrowel
@Gretchen: ETA Thinking about it, I may have been rather oblique in the past. I just sent her and another older cousin an email where I was pretty frank about being queer and that they should encourage the various younger cousins to use me as a resource. I think that probably gets the message across.
vicki
I don’t really need to replace some of my old wedding stainless, and I can’t really afford to, but I think I’ll go get a few spoons and forks from Mr. Page to thank him.
Thanks for this great information.
::
Ronzoni Rigatoni
Oh, hell. I’ve been dealing with Mr. Page’s Replacements for years, and, as we continue to break the occasional cup and saucer from rather obscure and discontinued sets, will continue to do so. Jeebus, it’s a great idea. Oh, he’s gay? I mean who gives a good goddam?
John M. Burt
Boy, talk about turning reality on its head!
dp
It’s good to find that someone you’ve patronized in the past is also a good person.
Villago Delenda Est
Cripes, we need a lot more businessmen (and women) with this attitude, be they gay or straight.
The Ferengi will destroy us. They have to be stopped.
FlipYrWhig
@geg6: I guess next up for the Republicans is passing a law protecting the consciences of cake decorators.
Ruviana
I’ve gotten stuff from Replacements! Good to know!
mellowjohn
in the mid-80s, i worked at a greensboro advertising agency that helped get replacments ltd off the ground.
good to see bob page taking a progressive stance in the face of such hatred.
Davis X. Machina
@geg6: A civil war can be cold, as well as hot. Some of the best ones are.
RalfW
This was going around my Facebook friends yesterday and several said they’d be ordering something soonest from them as a thank-you. Their prices are a tad high, but I might even order a couple of Blue Heaven pieces.
phoebes-in-santa fe
@geg6: After four years, she wasn’t sure how to spell “Obama” or “Biden”? Or was she unclear about what year it is?
When I saw the article in the NYT yesterday, I wrote Bob Page an email saying that while I didn’t need any replacements, that when I did, I would only use his site. I hope he replaces each old, prejudiced customer with two new, supportive ones.
And I did notice the person writing in about her daughters? Like marriage equality is going to cause a straight person to “try” the “homosexual life style”? Geez…
gbear
@Gretchen:
It took me a long time to come out and had pretty much the same reaction when I came out to my sisters. I was kicking myself for wasting so much time in the closet. Coming out to family is a big step and can be kind of scary. I remember the drive over to my parents house to tell them and thinking that this could be the last time I ever see them. You never quite know what the reaction will be and you have to be prepared that rejection and revulsion wil be the result (especially when you’ve spent years feeling that way about yourself).
And good on Replacements Ltd. Here’s a song in their honor.
Mnemosyne
I looked on the website and it looks as though they carry the set of my grandma’s china that I gave my Republican brother and SIL for their wedding a few years ago. I should see if they need extra pieces for anything — I think a saucer or two got broken.
Mnemosyne
@geg6:
Admittedly, I’m in So Cal, but the local Cuban bakery was selling Obama/Biden cookies for the inauguration in 2008. It’s nice living in a blue area of a blue state.
@gbear:
I hadn’t met my husband yet when his brother came out, but apparently the family reaction was, “Yeah, we kinda thought so.” He was expecting a bigger reaction, but there was a whole lot else going on (including his sister having a baby out of wedlock with her jailbird boyfriend), so the news was much less dramatic than he thought it would be.
When we got married, one of the things that helped me decide I did not want to get married in the Catholic Church was that I didn’t want G’s brother (who was the best man) to feel uncomfortable or unwelcome in any way. We ended up at a beautiful Unitarian Universalist church that coincidentally had a huge rainbow “We Support The Freedom to Marry” banner outside.
None of my Catholic relatives said anything about it. I think they were just like, “Eh, it’s California, what do you expect?”
Raya
Letters like that one that’s quoted make me want to start rounding people up and hauling them off to re-education camps. I mean, what about MY children? I am very concerned that with an increased visibility and acceptance of the bigoted lifestyle, one of my children, who would have grown up and been happily unprejudiced against her fellow human beings, could be tempted to the bigot lifestyle. The only answer is to ban the bigots from getting married and foisting their lifestyle on others.
Mnemosyne
Speaking of weddings, apparently Republicans in the House are trying to ban military chaplains from performing weddings or commitment ceremonies for gay servicemembers. That’s right, ladies and gents — apparently “religious freedom” dictates that the government decides if a UU or Episcopalian chaplain can perform a ceremony that their denomination allows.
Once again, for conservatives freedom of religion = freedom to bow to the government’s dictates about religion.
wenchacha
I think I have read that Replacements also allows employees to bring their dogs to work with them. Sounds like a really great place to work.
Now’s a great opportunity for someone to start an extra-setting type biz selling only to straight Christians. I guess homosexuals are job creators, if only for the haters that refuse to support gay-friendly businesses.
I am from a large Protestant mainstream extended family. One of my cousins married her partner years ago, in Massachusetts. As backward and worried about what people will think as my relatives are, they have accepted my cousin and her wife with open arms. My mom, now 87, marveled to me that “our family is like a mini United Nations!” It’s true; we now have family members of different ethnicities, and it’s no big deal. If it can happen in my uptight family, sooner or later I can believe it will happen most places. In time.
cmorenc
The remarkable fact isn’t that the NC Marriage Amendment passed with 60% of the vote, but rather that so many as 40% voted against it, when only a decade ago the number would have been under 20%, and two decades ago in the mid single digits at best. Two decades ago, 95% of North Carolinians would have reacted to any mention of the subject of gay marriage as if the idea was too infested with the icky heebie-jeebies and too ridiculously absurd to be worth serious discussion.
So the vote did represent a changing electorate in N.C., just one not changing fast enough, far enough yet to win.
Gretchen
@TheMightyTrowel: Good for you! My daughter told me last night that, even in her gay-friendly high school, most of her gay friends waited until college to come out because they were afraid of the negative reactions. And that one silly commenter at the NYT actually thinks her daughter would be tempted to that lifestyle, to be rejected and vilified by the people closest to her?
Gretchen
@Mnemosyne:
Yes, I’m getting very sick of the new definition of “religious freedom” as “the right to impose my religious beliefs on people who don’t share them”. It was pioneered by the Catholic bishops in the birth control fight, but I’m also seeing it in same-sex marriage discussions. And they say it without any sense of the absurdity of saying “letting other people have birth control or same sex marriage impedes my religious freedom.
Beauzeaux
Just went there and ordered a silver tea strainer in “my” pattern. I could go a long time without a silver tea strainer in “my” pattern but I figure Bob Page could use some support.
Phoebe
I didn’t know about this place, but just bought a Royal Delft Modern salad plate from there, thanks to you. I love that stuff.
jrg
I’ve been to Replacements before. It’s absolutely amazing what they can match. China isn’t really my thing, but when I got married, they were able to complete a china set that had been out of production for decades.
That’s a good way to live a life… Consider yourself part of a greater whole. If only the assholes who insist they will live forever and insist that secularists “don’t believe in anything bigger than themselves” could learn to do it, we’d all be a lot better off.
ruemara
@geg6: You must be nicer than me, because I would have given her a clue about what her job is and where her politics end.
Just Some Fuckhead
I’ve used Replacements Limited before. Little pricey.
shortstop
@geg6: Which name was too hard for that precious lady to spell? “Obama” or “Biden”? Or was she afraid she’d get the numbers in “2012” mixed up?
@Gretchen: When my cousin came out to us, we all resisted the urge to tell him, “No kidding.” It seemed to be raining on his parade somehow. He probably would have laughed, though.
shortstop
@Gretchen: What that commenter meant was this: “I think my daughter is a lesbian and I don’t want you and your kind encouraging her. Your meddling is the only thing preventing her from starting to dig cock.”
Matt
@phoebes-in-santa fe:
Oh, that’s not exactly what they think. More along the lines of “if being gay is OK, they won’t stay in the closet / get married / dutifully pop out 2.5 kids then sleep in separate rooms forever” like plenty of people in decades past did.
foo
mensch just means “man”
He’s a man by definition, wether gay or not.
Mnemosyne
@foo:
It has a deeper meaning than that in Yiddish, which is usually how people use it in the US.
@Matt:
In the long run, I think that’s one of the biggest social changes that’s going to happen — gay and lesbian people will no longer have to choose between living with the romantic partner of their choice and having children. Which, also IMO, is going to be a net positive in the long run.
pat
I find it interesting that so many people here were not surprised when a relative came out to them. What was it that alerted you? Just curious.
Oh, and I find it delicious that the story in the NYT seems to be leading to a huge crop of new customers.
And let’s not forget that NC put the measure on the ballot at an odd time for an election. If it had been November, and lots more people were going out to vote, it might have been quite different. They knew that…..
pat
Oops, I ssem to have posted, once again, to a dead thread. Have been cleaning house all day and not sitting on the computer..
Older_Wiser
@geg6: I refuse to patronize to local businesses after criticisms of the President–one guy even used the “n” word to describe him. Fuck them, this is a small town, and I’ll drive 30 miles to Charlotte if I have to, just to find someone without that kind of hate.
AA+ Bonds
Jesus Christ, imagine being that poor girl, whether gay or straight, your mom always checking up on you to make sure you haven’t become a werewolf overnight
Fucked up real shit
Nancy Irving
“But I don’t have a board or shareholders I have to answer to.”
Thank God for the private, family-owned business. (Whatever kind of family it is!)
Beauzeaux
@Just Some Fuckhead: They’re pricey because they maintain a HUGE inventory of old patterns and pieces (such as my newly ordered silver tea strainer) that may take decades to sell.