Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

You cannot shame the shameless.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

After roe, women are no longer free.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

Everybody saw this coming.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

No one could have predicted…

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Austin Balloon Juice Meet-up

Reader Interactions

118Comments

  1. 1.

    jl

    Am I seeing things? What?

    Cole is sending Tunch?

    Watch out, my beloved BJ faifthfull, it may be a tarp trap!

  2. 2.

    shortstop

    You’re a changed man, John Cole. Remember when you told everyone in Madison not to bother emailing you because you weren’t about to hang with their sad asses?

  5. 5.

    Buffalo Rude

    I’m nowhere near Austin, so I won’t be there, but I recommend Casino el Camino on 6th St. Great joint, great atmosphere, foods good and some of the Jim Rose Traveling Freakshow people work there (or at least they used to).

  6. 6.

    RoonieRoo

    Very interested. I’ll check with Grumpy Code Monkey but we can most likely both come. GCM will come along here in a minute with maybe a better idea of where are good options.

  12. 12.

    doctortecate

    I strongly suggest stopping by Ginny’s Little Longhorn Saloon. Tiny western bar, with a complimentary chili cheese dog station, a BYO liquor where they’ll give you the set ups for your drink of choice, cheap cold beer. But most importantly: Chicken Shit Bingo. Yes.

  17. 17.

    Marcelo

    A vote for Black Star. Great beer you can’t get anywhere else, great food, and PLEASE let’s not make everyone have to deal with parking downtown, etc. Even though I love Gingerman.

    What time? I can stop by for a bit, probably around 8ish, but I have to be home to do some work at 9:30 (I do online tutoring). Black Star has a REVERSE HAPPY HOUR starting at like 10pm or something, which is worth noting.

    If we must go downtown, I recommend Easy Tiger Beer Garden.

  18. 18.

    Riley's Enabler

    Dammit….three hours east.

    Cursing the fact it’s a workday or I’d hazard the drive. Enjoy Austin – it’s an excellent city and gives me hope for the rest of Texas.

  19. 19.

    Omnes Omnibus

    It’s me, isn’t it? That’s why Cole didn’t want a Madison meetup. Well, fuck him. So there.

    ETA: Written before I read the thread and saw this.

  20. 20.

    Lokahi

    Well, this brings me out of years-long lurker status. New to Austin, so have no venue suggestions. I do, however, volunteer at Austin Pets Alive! and could see this as an opportunity to unload, er, provide Zsa Zsa and Tunch with additional feline companions who wouldn’t mind a road trip to a new home…

  25. 25.

    erik

    Gingerman is also good, but I havent tried their food. I don’t think parking should be too bad on Tuesday night..?

  26. 26.

    Amir Khalid

    Don’t you need to post a picture of your newly beardless visage, so that people can recognise you?

  28. 28.

    dance around in your bones

    I think I am having an acid flashback. Cole actually wanting to meet with Juicers?

    Again, I wish I was in Austin. Currently 3 states away. Have fun guys! (If it really happens :)

  29. 29.

    PurpleGirl

    Hey you guys and gals in Texas, you get a meet-up with the man himself. Have tons of fun tomorrow night.

  30. 30.

    kindness

    Take advantage of this Texas Juicers. John does not do this often. Someone go get a crown so that you can all crown him at the meeting and justify his revulsion at meeting his masses.

  31. 31.

    Marcelo

    If you haven’t been to Black Star, you are missing out. The menu is spectacular, the craft beers they make on the premises are fabulous, and there’s lots of space to hang in. Plus it’s centrally located for way up northerners, downtowners, and southerners alike.

    If no one else agrees, I then vote for Gingerman. No Antone’s or Continental or any place with live music. I want to be able to talk to people without busting my vocal chords or eardrums.

  32. 32.

    srv

    John, if yer locals haven’t made a list for you, most of these suggestions are near downtown and you only need a cab if you’re too lazy an ass to walk down South Congress.

    I would also suggest hitting Elephant Room for some Jazz. Anything open after 12am is usually still cool.

  34. 34.

    elf

    Holy chit. He’s in TX 2 days (?) and look what’s become of him. Next he will tell all about praying for rain or something.

  36. 36.

    Comrade Mary

    You Austinites must post pictures of John sans beard.

    (Do I get “the comment that will launch a thousand tasteless follow-ups” award right now?)

  38. 38.

    srv

    @Marcelo:

    I want to be able to talk to people without busting my vocal chords or eardrums.

    You don’t want to hear John sing?

    Just don’t give him a mop.

  39. 39.

    Trollhattan

    @elf:
    If anybody starts toasting, “Donn mesh whiff Texash….” then we’ll know something vewy, vewy bad has occurred.

  46. 46.

    Marcelo

    @srv: If that’s the direction we’re taking then let’s go all out – Common Interest, Ego’s, whatever it takes.

  47. 47.

    srv

    @Redshirt:

    What are the odds Cole doesn’t show up for the Meetup?

    OK, since I don’t go to Austin around SXSW and can’t be there, I will make a $100 donation to Lokahi’s Austin Pets Alive contingent on John showing up.

    If he doesn’t show, animals die.

  50. 50.

    shortstop

    Everyone attending should bombard Cole with repetitive, nasal complaints about site bugs, glitches and missing features. He loves that shit. Honest. Let us know how it goes.

  51. 51.

    Marcelo

    Austin Pets Alive is an awesome organization. They’ve singlehandedly changed the culture of Austin and transformed animal rescue here.

    If people are feeling generous, I’d like to point you towards the nonprofit I work for, Creative Action, that provides much needed life skills and arts education to Austin’s young people, teaching them not to be jerks by helping them write plays, films, paint, slam poetry, you name it.

    Anyone want to raise the stakes even further? Animals die AND kids join gangs and take over the streets?

  53. 53.

    Sandia Blanca

    Be still my beating heart! I’m in! Would love the Black Star Coop option, or anything else not in the heart of downtown and/or without blasting loud music. Opal Divine’s would also be good, lots of locally sourced alcohol choices there (note: there are two locations, need to specify).

  54. 54.

    Marcelo

    The garlic fries alone make Black Star worth it. And during reverse happy hour they’re like 3 bucks.

  59. 59.

    Sentient Puddle

    I too will reiterate my preference for Black Star. Mostly for the reasons that everyone else has already listed, but for me, mostly because it’s a central location away from downtown. I’m north Austin, and don’t really have any desire going downtown.

    If the Opal Divine’s being suggested was Marina, I’d be all for that seeing as it’s no more than five minutes from work. But I suspect that one’s way further north than anyone else wants.

  61. 61.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @shortstop:

    You’re a changed man, John Cole. Remember when you told everyone in Madison not to bother emailing you because you weren’t about to hang with their sad asses?

    He just didn’t want to hang out with Omnes.

  62. 62.

    The Moar You Know

    So you hit San Diego, tell everyone go shove a hot coal in their ass, pull the same stunt in Wisconsin, but you hit Tejas and all of the sudden you’re Mr. Sociable?

    Well….good. Hopefully you’ll continue in this vein. Seems like you travel every now and then, most Juicers are decent people, you’ve got people who’d bail you out of jail in every state of the Union, most likely. I can’t say that!

    I’ve been to Austin, not the world’s best city but it’s pretty damn good. Have fun. Pics or it didn’t happen, of course.

  63. 63.

    dance around in your bones

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Good point. I predict an incident involving the hotel room iron, coffee pot drink mixing, and a feral armadillo with prevent the event from happening.

    Cole was somewhere around Austin, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold.

    Also: “Jesus! Did I SAY that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me? I glanced over at my attorney, but he seemed oblivious…”

    I ain’t holding my breath. Though I’d love to be there. Maybe.

    @jl: Not to mention the long-form birth certificate – otherwise, how can anyone be sure it’s Cole?

  65. 65.

    Kaleb

    I can’t make it since I’m working on Singapore time this week, but vote that y’all treat yourselves and support Black Star. The Carousel is definitely still open, but it’s a setup bar (BYO spirits).

    This the part where I recommend some obscure band to go see afterwards, but I haven’t seen the ones playing Tuesday night, so FAIL. Instead, for those still in town on Friday night, come sing punk and indie karaoke at the launch party for my friend’s new business: http://missmatchmedia.tumblr.com/

  66. 66.

    gbear

    @Amir Khalid: He’ll be the one with the pasty white lower half of his face.

    I made the mistake of hanging out in the sun after shaving my beard off and wound up with a sunburn beard. It sucked.

  67. 67.

    Steeplejack

    @Maude:I try to do that, but it still takes a few minutes to warm up.

    She’s doing her “ooze over onto the keyboard” thing now, so I’m typing with her fuzzy head on my left hand.

  70. 70.

    Redshirt

    @Kaleb: So low key! I was waiting for this news – I spent 3 days “in residence” at the Carousel in 1993 and have very fond memories of the place. Can’t believe it’s still going, though I have to assume it’s changed hands several times since.

  72. 72.

    Maude

    @Steeplejack:
    The fan vents are warm. She could…nah, that’d be no fun for her.
    Now you need a timer on the heat.
    What a great housecat.
    ETA, It’s more fun to ooze onto you.

  74. 74.

    Ash Can

    Right now Cole is on the phone to DougJ screaming, “IF YOU EVER FUCKING POST UNDER MY NAME AGAIN I’M GOING TO TEAR YOUR FUCKING BALLS OFF AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR FUCKING NOSE AND CHOKE YOU OUT WITH A GODDAMNED STRAP-ON.”

  76. 76.

    El Tiburon

    Cole-

    Why don’t you give us some parameters – like time and general location.

    As awesome as Austin is, the traffic fucking sucks Dick Cheney nuts.

    So, if you are staying downtown then I assume you want something downtown area.

    Opal Devine’s is okay and is right in the middle of a good area with many other establishments.

  81. 81.

    JCJ

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I don’t know why they are picking on you. (Almost) anybody in Madison is OK in my book (don’t want to go near the stench eminating from the governor.)

  86. 86.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    Okay, so…

    What’s the priority? Do we want to drink, do we want to eat, or do we want to talk? My stomping grounds are around the Arboretum/Domain area, which is probably further than anyone really wants to go, and it’s mostly chains up here (although there is Chuy’s #3 at 183 and Duval).

    My hearing is in the crapper, so places that are noisy wouldn’t be as enjoyable for me, as I wouldn’t be able to follow the conversation. I’m down for Opal Divine’s or something similar. Black Star looks promising.

    There’s also Threadgill’s World Headquarters, or any of the joints along Barton Springs (Chuy’s #1, Shady Grove, etc.).

  87. 87.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @ranchandsyrup: I used to live about a mile from her house.

    @JCJ:

    I don’t know why they are picking on you. (Almost) anybody in Madison is OK in my book (don’t want to go near the stench eminating from the governor.)

    They envy my awesomeness. Or something.

  88. 88.

    erik

    Never been to Black Star, but it looks good and being a co-op is pretty darn Austin-y. So, I can switch my vote to Black Star from Opal Devine’s… Plus, its closer to my house!

  89. 89.

    Seanly

    Dang, I’m nowhere near Texas and the wife wouldn’t move there…

    However, if you’re even in beautiful Boise, me & the one or two other Idaho juicers could meet up. Same goes for any other juicers or FPers. Lots of good food places here (and some that need Chef Robert’s 2-day intervention).

  90. 90.

    ranchandsyrup

    @Omnes Omnibus: You are a stronger man than I am, OO. I wouldn’t have been able to resist chucking some flaming dog crap grenades or some other juvenile acts.
    I love Sconnie. Lived in Rhinelander when I was a kid and spent some good times in Madison, Milwaukee, etc.

  91. 91.

    Turgidson

    Wait what? Where is the “I’d rather drink cyanide while bathing in sulfuring acid than meet any of you wretches in person” post about a possible meet-up that we’ve come to expect? I found those more entertaining.

    I’m sure this is about the 68th comment along these lines, but still.

  93. 93.

    geg6

    Okay, that’s it Cold. You are now officially on my shit list. You live just a couple of hours away and I know that you spend time in Pittsburgh regularly. AND NEVER ONCE HAVE WE HAD A PITTSBURGH MEETUP! NOT EVEN FOR A STEELER GAME!

    You go to fucking TEXAS! for fuck’s sake and suddenly it’s meetup time.

    You will get no pet pictures of Koda when we finally get her here. That’s for sure. You will only be allowed to see the one I’ll send Anne Laurie and that’s only if she deigns to post it.

  94. 94.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @ranchandsyrup: I know approximately where it was. I don’t want to accidentally flaming poo bag some decent dude who just happens to live next door.

    My family has a cabin near Rhinelander.

  95. 95.

    geg6

    Okay, that’s supposed to say “Cole” in #93, not “Cold”. But Cold might be a better name anyway.

    Why does the edit never work for me, dammit?

  96. 96.

    Louise

    Meet up – yes please. I’m a total lurker but I will be there.

    Don’t go downtown, SXSWedu (and soon also Interactive) is in town and traffic is berserk.

    I vote Black Star Co-op all the way. Here’s why:

    1) Excellent food and site-brewed beer for reasonable prices.
    2) Progressive values through and through.
    3) No tipping allowed because it’s worker-owned and they pay a fair wage.
    4) Right next to the Crestview stop of MetroRail
    5) Lots of free parking for those of us who drive
    6) Did I mention the food is awesome? I had the Bar Steak the other day and having been dreaming about going back for it again.

  99. 99.

    ranchandsyrup

    @Omnes Omnibus: Good point re: getting the wrong house. You could always case the place and watch for the Franzia delivery truck to determine the proper house.

    Rhinelander was cool. I was just a kid but I loved it.

  100. 100.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    @geg6:

    You go to fucking TEXAS! for fuck’s sake and suddenly it’s meetup time.

    Texas can have that effect on people. We’re “The Friendship State”, remember.

    Location absolutely depends on where Cole is and how he’s getting around town. Having said that, Black Star is looking more and more like the better option.

  102. 102.

    Marmot

    I vote for Black Star. Food and beer are great there. And no fighting downtown traffic or 6th Street amateurs. Hope I can make it — got a baby with a bad cold.

  103. 103.

    wvng

    It would be a spectacular bit of trolley for Cole to propose this then never show up in the thread to seal the deal.

  104. 104.

    eldorado

    thanks for the heads up, you ass. i could’ve gotten the uni to pony up for sxsw edu.

  105. 105.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @wvng: It doesn’t really matter since the whole thing with drunk ironing the feral armadillo will have him in the ER anyway.

  106. 106.

    Lolis

    Haven’t been to Black Star but it sounds good to me. It has been on my want-to-try list. I work second shift but I think I can take off for this momentous occasion, or if you start at 10 pm I can go right after work.

    Another easy park location is Barfly’s on Airport. Total dive bar with cheap drinks, but I don’t think they have food.

  109. 109.

    kdaug

    @Lokahi:

    I do, however, volunteer at Austin Pets Alive!

    We know at least one person in common, then – Clod.

    And if I’m not mistaken Cole (possible – I was wrong once before), you were standing behind me at Spec’s on Saturday night with your lady friend.

    Let’s lock this down. I’m doing a IGDA booth thing at the SXSW gaming expo Saturday, but other than that my week’s free.

    Just, please, not downtown.

  111. 111.

    shortstop

    After 20 years, I still crave a cig on rare occasions. Like this moment.

    Guess I’ll have a cuppa joe.

  112. 112.

    kdaug

    @srv:

    I would also suggest hitting Elephant Room for some Jazz.

    I used to work across the street from that basement. My liver still hasn’t forgiven me. There and Fado’s were second residences for a while.

  113. 113.

    Lokahi

    @srv:
    OMG. I gotta get to work then building the life-sized cardboard cutout of Cole…

    @Marcelo:
    As a freelance creative (writer, filmmaker), put me down for a $100 donation to Creative Action contingent on Cole’s presence. Enriching kids’ lives is important to me, too.

  116. 116.

    PaulW

    Wake me when you’ve got a Meetup scheduled for Tampa or Orlando. I’m tired of being the only one out here, is there ANYONE in Central Florida who reads the same political blogs I do?! :(

  118. 118.

    Lokahi

    @Marcelo: OK, I see Cole is committed and in for Tuesday night, so Creative Action just got the donation from me via Amplify Austin. Just don’t train the kids too well so they take work away from my decaying skills…

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