The president’s “best-looking AG” gaffe-horse has been flogged to bits in the thread below. But that won’t stop me from attempting to lady-splain:
1. Yes, it was a gaffe, regardless of the president’s friendship with the AG, her personal reaction to the comment and how often he calls out male good-lookingness. Mr. Obama is the president, and as such, his remarks on any topic have far-reaching implications. He knows and accepts this, which is why he apologized, as he should have.
2. No, it doesn’t mean Mr. Obama is a sexist pig. By words and deeds, he has proven himself our most feminist president. Ever.
3. Someone in that thread seemed to suggest that because Mr. Obama is in his early 50s, we shouldn’t be surprised that he would make a sexist comment. Bull-to-the-fucking-shit on that notion. People who are in their early 50s today graduated from high school in the late 70s and early 80s. It wasn’t “Mad Men” times. Sexism awareness was a thing.
Male privilege is a thing too, of course, and males from age 10 to 120 will occasionally lapse into it. My husband, who is Mr. Obama’s age and among the best and most egalitarian of men, certainly does. But he knows better, which is my point.
Anyhoo, what are y’all up to today? I’m listening to blue grass and procrastinating on doing my goddamn taxes.
Liquid
1st – There is no justice in the world.
Liquid
2nd – FUCK MICROSOFT! At least they’re so inept as to take Sonys place in the market for the next decade.
All hail the stupid goddamn kawk/etc. Nine years and, tonight, I cannot login thanks to fucking morons at Microsoft.
Remember FUCKING MORONS = MICROSOFT = FUCKING MORONS.
greennotGreen
On this beautiful spring day, I’m going to put my more cold-tolerant greenhouse plants outside. I enjoy this every year, but as a recent cancer survivor, I’m going to cherish it this year.
c u n d gulag
My guess is, he’ll be sharing the doghouse with Bo for a while, until Mrs. Pres cools off.
And, no sneaking in any home-brew, ciggies, or cigars, either, or Bo will start barking.
“What’s that, boy? What are he trying to tell me? He’s trying to do WHAT?!?!?!?!”
JPL
On today’s agenda, is yard work. It’s only April 6 so I still have a few days to finish taxes.
c u n d gulag
@greennotGreen:
Congrats to you! :-)
JPL
@c u n d gulag: A friend mentioned that Michelle called herself a single parent so ……
Omnes Omnibus
Correct. Obama is almost exactly three years older than me; I know better than to make that comment and so did Obama. As you said, that is why he apologized. Also too, when I say I know better than to make that comment, it doesn’t mean I would never do so. I probably would and probably have done something similar. But I know better.
donnah
I’ll give the President a pass on this. I don’t think it’s a big deal, personally.
I’m going to sit down and do taxes, too. My husband and I were going to get ahead and do them a month ago, but somhow managed to put them aside again. We both hate doing taxes.
My son is coming home for a couple of days from his place in Charlotte, NC. He’s a Habitat for Humanity intern and this is his last year of service. He’s hoping to find another job with one of their affiliates when his time is up. Habitat is an amazing organization and it made a huge difference in my son’s life.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
BD of MN
it’s a little after 8am, and in less than an hour, I’ll be drinking beer. Actually, judging beer, as the first round of the National Homebrew Contest’s midwest region is being held here in the Twin Cities. 750 entries, there’s usually about 40 judges to spread the load… Here’s to hoping they don’t suck!
Omnes Omnibus
@c u n d gulag: This may just be me, but I don’t see why Michelle Obama would be particularly upset about the comment.
Eric S.
This mornings plan is to hit up the fish monger. I’m making a three fish stew from the book series to serve at tomorrow’s Game Of Thrones viewing party. I know some people here would be into that kind of thing. You van check out Inn At The Crossroads website robber recipes.
After that I need to prep the bicycle for spring riding and commuting.
Betty Cracker
@BD of MN: You are living the DREAM!
I’ve been thinking about brewing my own cider. My hubby and one of the neighbors made a few batches of mead last year that were pretty fantastic. The alcohol content was off the charts, though. It was so smooth, and since they bottled it in beer bottles, I made the mistake of drinking it as if it were beer, and the next thing I knew, I was snot-slinging drunk!
c u n d gulag
@Omnes Omnibus:
Ah, I just trying to have some fun – and also playing off the stereotype of the “typical” hubbie and the wife.
the Conster
It would be a-OK with me if the prez wanted to call me attractive all day long and twice on Sunday, seeings how by now he’s met thousands of women and knows of which he speaks. The agenda today consists of grocery shopping for the 2nd annual two week liver detox I’m starting tomorrow – it’s kind of like spring cleaning for the body. We change the filters in our cars, houses and clothes dryers so they’ll run better, ergo…
gnomedad
Libruls are the REAL sexists/racists/anti-intellectuals …
Amir Khalid
@Betty Cracker:
Are there pictures? (he asked hopefully.)
Baud
This is worse than Monica Lewinsky. We’re DOOMED!
raven
I was at an education conference this week and our keynote was a prominent teacher trainer. She was great and, at the social, I stood with her and three women. The conversation was mostly about education but, near the end, the women starting pouring it on about what an attractive and young looking 60 year old she was. Guess who never said a word> WTF-K?
WereBear
Slips happen to anyone, and they usually mean no harm.
As Mr WereBear says when caught out, “Sorry, I was thinking like a guy, instead of a man.”
Omnes Omnibus
@Eric S.:
Did that earlier this week. Started riding on Thursday. It felt good to be back out on the road.
@Betty Cracker:
I spent time in school in London as an undergrad, and I remember many young ladies who didn’t like beer drank cider by the pint. It often did not end well.
Baud
FWIW, I don’t think Obama was being sexist. I think he was being casual with someone he knows fairly well, in a public setting where a degree of formalism was called for.
aimai
I give the president a pass on this for all of Becky’s reasons and because I think that people do kid around with their equals and friends in certain kinds of spaces–like inside the oval office, or at a small fundraiser–its part of the thrill for people as they get closer to the seat of power. Its problematic for women and for other kinds of outsiders but that doesn’t make it entirely vicious on the part of the person “joking down.” It can be hostile–jokes can always be hostile-but it can also be part of being welcomed into a circle.
Biden infamously nearly got into trouble for calling Obama, in contradistinction to other potential or past black candidates, “well spoken etc..etc…etc…” Would it have been offensive if President Biden referred to AG Obama as “the most well spoken black guy in the room?” Yes. Would it have been offensive if he referred to him as the “most well spoken guy in the room even if he were the only black AG? Well, I’m not so sure. Hard to know rhetorically whether he thus reduces the imaginary AG Obama to “just” a black guy or contrasts him and elevates him with all the other AGs.
I think Obama shouldn’t have done it and should have been more cautious but he did the right thing by apologizing, sincerely, for what he did wrong without weaseling out of it or casting blame on someone else. Wish I were as perfect and also president of the US.
JPL
I have to admit that I’ve made comments that could be considered sexual in nature about our President. Should I call and apologize?
mai naem
OMG. I am sick and tired of this. Are you kidding me? It’s not like he said “Ooooh, she’s hawt, hubba hubba hubba, I’d like some of that…” All he said was that she was the most attractive State AG. How many other female State AGs are there? 2???3???
BTW, Kamala Harris is hawt. She looks like one of the DAs from one of the Law and Order series. Furthermore, I like that more people will know who Kamala Harris really is instead of just as the Democratic female non white CA AG. I would have no problem if he nominated her as the AG if Holder quits. Also too, I would much rather see Kamala Harris as the first Indian American president or even serious nominee for prez. that Bobby freaking Jindal. Technically she’s half Indian but whatever.
Linda Featheringill
@greennotGreen:
“recent cancer survivor”
Congratulations, dear! Enjoy!
Omnes Omnibus
@c u n d gulag:
I have seen a number of comments along the lines of yours though. I just don’t grok it myself.
MattF
Made a first pass on my taxes yesterday– looks like I’m getting a bit back both state and federal. Next step is to confirm that the amounts on my returns match the amounts reported to the IRS, to the penny. Also continue with the ritual annual Reordering of Financial Paperwork. I have no idea how ten-plus years of statements from five different organizations gets completely randomized every year, but they do.
John S.
Privelege doesn’t work the way I’ve seen most people describe it. There are many factors to take into consideration, and you cannot exclude certain factors from the equation. Gender, sexual orientation, religion, economics, etc. all must be considered to get a true sense of privelege. And even though certain dimensions may have stronger weighting than others, none are so powerful as to force exclusion of all others.
Subject A is a straight, white, Jewish male who is lower middle class with a high school diploma.
Subject B is a straight, black, Atheist woman who is upper class with a masters degree.
Subject C is a gay, Hispanic, Catholic man who is middle class with no formal education.
Who has the most privelege? It’s not as easy as saying “the man” or “the white person”. In marketing career, I constantly build buyer personas of the consumers I am trying to target, and it is largely based on demographics (and psychographics, but that’s not germane here).
If I treated my customer profiling as shallowly as I’m seeing the discussion of privelege treated here, I would be out of a job.
Ultraviolet Thunder
Yeah, it was a dumb thing to say in front of a mic and the usual media suspects made a mountain out of it because that’s easier than journalism.
I’ve actually been home* all week and I have a full weekend at my own house. Weather should be decent so it’s yard work time.
*that is, no airplanes or hotels.
Schlemizel
I learned very early on while commenting at places like Shakes and Co that words coming out of a guy may not sound the same as they mean. Even the best of intentions can lead to inadvertent offense. At that point you can admit you screwed up and sincerely apologize, offer one of those useless “if you were offended” statements or deny and claim you girls are just too sensitive. Only one of those is the right thing to do, the thing someone who cared about womens issues and made a simple mistake would do.
gnomedad
Being a male sexist pig, I searched for photos of Ms. Harris. Many are of her laughing; she seems like a cool person. Also, this.
c u n d gulag
@Omnes Omnibus:
I’m 55, and single, so everything I know about marriage comes from replays of 1950’s sitcoms! :-)
rikyrah
AG Harris is a beautiful women. No, it wasn’t sexist.
I find it interesting that ‘ feminists’ who wouldn’t open their fucking mouths when 9 year old Quvenzhané Wallis was called a CUNT, but they were front and center for the President complimenting AG Harris.
uh huh
Ultraviolet Thunder
@Betty Cracker:
In England I ran into a beverage called Ice Dragon Cider. I wish I’d known it was 8% alcohol before I’d guzzled a half liter. Jeebus, what a hangover.
Baud
@c u n d gulag:
That Lucy, she’s incorrigible.
JPL
@rikyrah: Who? Most people I know were repulsed by that statement.
JoyfulA
@mai naem: I haven’t heard anyone mention Kathleen Kane, PA’s new AG. She’s extremely attractive and has lowered the boom on Gov. Corbett’s scheme to “privatize” the lottery.
c u n d gulag
@Baud: I (still) Love Lucy!
Suffern ACE
In the future, presidential remarks will be fed into a computer and instead of being filtered through the punditry, an instant response will let us know if her remarks were appropriate or not. The president will then be allowed to correct them. They’re working on the software at MIT as we speak.
Baud
@c u n d gulag:
I think Betty’s posts have a Lucy vibe to them. It would not surprise me in the least to one day read about her adventures stomping grapes or working the conveyer belt in a chocolate factory.
liberal
Should he have said it? No.
Do I give a shit? No.
Omnes Omnibus
@John S.: Yeah, but we aren’t microtargeting people right now.
In the context of this gaffe, male privilege is probably the one that would come into play if any does. Both Obama and Harris are highly educated, powerful POC, yes? One is male, one is female. The one who made the gaffe is the male.
c u n d gulag
@Baud:
If he wasn’t deceased, I’d love to see Betty do the mirror scene with Harpo Marx!
TS
If this is the best the GOP and the media can find against the President – then the country is in good hands
It’s not like he disappeared from his job, wife & children for a week to chase a woman living quite some distance away and then returned to restart his political career – with blessings from the GOP.
Having worked in a mainly male environment all my life – a smile and a compliment to start the working day – was a joy in comparison to the s..t I usually had to listen to.
J.W. Hamner
I see both sides… the comment was inappropriate and sexist, and the fact that it caused a liberal freak out is why conservatives succeed in labeling us as scolds and PC police. I don’t really know what to do about the latter part since, as it’s basically a catch 22… the reason that the majority of people roll their eyes about it is precisely why it’s worthwhile to make a big deal out of it.
Chyron HR
Would it help if we all promised never to vote for Obama again?
PsiFighter37
@JPL: Just did a little Googling about this…she explained the context that it can feel like it when your husband is president. I can see that, given that when he’s in Washington, he probably only sees his family at dinner time and is pretty much occupied the rest of the time.
That said, I would imagine Michelle probably is giving Barack a little bit of a hard time on this whole kerfluffle, but not really in an entirely serious manner.
Odie Hugh Manatee
Obama should have called her the ugliest AG in history. That would have confused the fuck out of everyone.
Next nontroversey please…
SiubhanDuinne
@c u n d gulag:
Yeah, but the rehearsals would be easier now.
askew
It wasn’t a gaffe. He says the exact same thing to male colleagues all the day. It was at a closed door fundraiser and he is good friends with Harris. The reason it became a big deal is that bitter Hillary supporters finally had a reason to attack this president and they pushed this story. Andrea Mitchell and Joan Walsh were giddy at finally being able to imply Obama is sexist.
boss bitch
@c u n d gulag:
You assume that FLOTUS feels the same way as those criticizing POTUS.
boss bitch
I have a feeling the msm (politico?) first reported this because they’ve fantasized about Kamala Harris and Obama having an affair. So…OMG…Obama says she’s good looking…are they doing it? You guys think this is the first time he’s complimented a woman on her looks in public? Didn’t he say something about Nancy Pelosi birthing pretty grand babies? Didn’t see a three-day wankfest on that. He’s made comments about men’s looks too. Didn’t see anyone objecting to that either. Should the rule of making someone all about their looks only apply to women?
Betty Cracker
Since women have historically been subject to a system that assigns their value as human beings according to their looks, yeah.
SFAW
@Suffern ACE:
No, they’re not. They’re working on more important stuff. Such as, the next hack they can pull on Harvard. (A “hack,” in the MIT context, is a practical joke. Like the balloon coming up from the field during a Harvard football game.)
Anya
@rikyrah: I don’t also hear the same outrage from them when white men comment on the first lady’s looks or her “big butt.”Fuck these over privileged feminists. They’re still trying to score points from 08. They attack the First Lady for choosing to be a mom (even though the ftrapings of position doesn’t give her much choice), yet they worship Hillary Clinton who decided to stay with serial adulterer. Again, fuck them. Apparently, black women are not full members of the tribe.
eemom
I am a 50 year old professional woman, I know from sexism, and this is a bunch of bullshit.
I wish we could move the fuck on….but alas, ’tis not to be.
gene108
@Betty Cracker:
Women also profit by this.
Look at the pay disparity between male and female models or female athletes, who get endorsement deals based on looks, even though they haven’t won much of anything.
I don’t know if it’s nature or whatever, but women do get judged by looks for better or worse and I don’t know if you can really do away with this.
Hill Dweller
@askew: Andrea Mitchell was the first one to start pushing the ‘Obama has a woman problem’ last year, despite absolutely no evidence to support it.
I did enjoy seeing Susan Rice make Mitchell look stupid yesterday, after she tried claiming Obama kept the women in the administration on a “short leash”.
ChrisNYC
I don’t think it’s a big deal but I do think it was a dumb thing to say. I’m an Obot but O does this stuff sometimes on the gender jokes. A lot of it I think is calculated. To look like a “real guy.” As opposed to an egghead.
maya
This crap gets real tiring. As if women aren’t capable of being sexists too.
As a firm believer in sexual equality – I believe that any woman can prove herself to be as big an a-hole as any man can, e.g., Palin, Bachman etc – this particular line of criticism, that only men judge a woman by her looks is pure BS.
There are a trio of women in my neighborhood who seem to believe that it is their natural right as females to complain about what any man does. But, should a man have a complaint about their actions or lack thereof, well, that’s disrespectful.
Note: I am not female. My handle, maya, is in memory of the most loyal dog I ever had. At this particular time I am woefully tired of hearing excerpts from the Big Book of Feminism, which, I’ve noticed, shrinks to the tiny Pamphlet of Feminism whenever it’s convenient for some women to return to more traditional female roles. Manual labor, for example, is one concept the women where I live are perfectly content to leave the syllable “man” in. And I live in a so-called liberated community.
Hal
Does anyone have the name of a good ophthalmologist, because my eyes are about to role right out of my head over this.
The ultimate symbol of male privilege, sexism and misogyny is not President Obama commenting on Harris’s looks in a casual comment to a friend after talking up her professional status. Jesus Christ. Vaginal ultrasounds have had less discussion. yeesh.
WereBear
Exactly. They are hypocrites with their own axes to grind here, not actual feminists.
lojasmo
1:10 trail run this morning. After the lady gets done with yoga, we’ll go to breakfast, then maybe a movie. This afternoon we will drive to St. Paul, have Thai for dinner, and pick up the boy from the airport.
The boy is getting back from a week long stay in Los Angeles where he visited his aunties and their lovely women friends.
Mnemosyne
I can sympathize with the president in this instance, because in the past I (a white woman) have said race-based things that sounded completely innocuous inside my head but did not sound that way at all when actually spoken. So I’m in the “yeah, mild gaffe, he apologized, let’s move on” camp.
shortstop
I find everything to agree with and nothing to disagree with in Betty’s fine summation. (And I’m not going to go looking in that thread, but who’s the sheltered kid who thinks a 51-year-old president was raised in the dark ages?)
Mnemosyne
In open threadiness, we’re in Phoenix visiting my mom. She seems to be in pretty good spirits, all things considered, though at some point we’re going to have to discuss some of the ideas us kids have for my dad’s memorial. I think we may be going out to a new outlet mall that’s opening this weekend since she doesn’t want to go by herself.
Splitting Image
I think the issue is that this is one of the first times Obama has actually made a gaffe of this nature. Normally the guy is Mr. Spock.
Overall, it isn’t that big a deal, but I think the Fox News crowd will run with it for awhile. Four years and counting into the guy’s administration, they still jump from the lazy teleprompter-fed imbecile to the Islamofascist tyrant from week to week.
This is the first “hook” that Obama has really given them, so expect him to be Mr. Liberals are the Real Sexists from now until 2016.
John S.
@Omnes Omnibus:
How exactly are you defining a gaffe? Perhaps we aren’t micro targeting people in this exact scenario, but on the flip side, everyone is playing pretty fast and loose with even more general definitions.
Words should mean something, and a little more precision on these discussions would behoove everyone.
JCT
@eemom: I’ll co-sign this. Wake me up when he systematically excludes women from jobs as Division Chiefs or even fellows, BTDT.
dance around in your bones
None of the people involved in this Big Nuthin’ were upset – not the AG friend or Obama or Michelle (I have a feeling she’s pretty secure in her marriage).
Obama apologized, most likely because the media/GOPS/others tried to make it into a Big Somethin’.
rikyrah
@Anya:
tell me about it.
JCT
@Mnemosyne: Just drove by the new mall on Thursday – looked like it was busy!
gravie
We are cleaning out our house in preparation for putting it on the market. We’ve lived here 25 years. Those of you in a similar situation know what that means: 35 cans of paint ranging from “oh yeah, that might come in handy for touch-ups” to “holy crap, what was I thinking?” Drawer after drawer of kids’ artwork. Clothing that was put away in the Bush I era and has not seen the light of day since. Dinner plates from our elderly great-aunt; we don’t really like them and don’t ever use them but feel too guilty to give them away. Etc. etc. etc. Maybe everyone else is just more organized than I am.
Not Sure
Damn shame the superscript tag doesn’t work. I would love to have typed in bull to the fucking shit and have it come out right. That would have made me so happy.
Not Sure
Actually, I think the President is trolling Fox News. He probably knows by now that a gaffe that the rest of us normal people would just blow off would get wall to wall coverage on every Fox show for a week. Anything to make them look stupid(er).
Omnes Omnibus
@John S.: Number one in this works for me:
Yutsano
Pouring like crazy (no Seattle jokes please) and very seriously thinking about moving to Albuquerque. Inasmuch as Hawai’i would be great, New Mexico is just a bit more practical. Then again I might only get chosen for Honolulu. It’s very much an up in the air thing at this point.
OmerosPeanut
Republicans want to make abortion illegal under all circumstances and Obama made an inopportune remark at a public setting. Both sides do it!
What we need is a real, serious, centrist male politician to stand up and show leadership in bringing these two sides together.
taco guy
every lady is a victim!
Lurking Canadian
@gravie: I’m pretty sure the reason we have houses is primarily to keep the rain off the kind of stuff you are describing. cf. Carlin, G
slag
What you said, Betty.
Though having recently watched PBS’s Makers: Women Who Make America, I’m fairly ready to just punch every single person in the face (regardless of sex)–most especially dumbasses like Monica Crowley.