Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Fucking consultants! (of the political variety)

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

If you voted for Trump, you don’t get to speak about ethics, morals, or rule of law.

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

I did not have this on my fuck 2025 bingo card.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

Someone should tell Republicans that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, or possibly the first.

Anne Laurie is a fucking hero in so many ways. ~ Betty Cracker

Peak wingnut was a lie.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

The revolution will be supervised.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

“woke” is the new caravan.

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

Washington Post Catch and Kill, not noticeably better than the Enquirer’s.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

I desperately hope that, yet again, i am wrong.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

People identifying as christian while ignoring christ and his teachings is a strange thing indeed.

The low info voters probably won’t even notice or remember by their next lap around the goldfish bowl.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

You are here: Home / Books / Long Read Watch: “We, the Paranoid”

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55Comments

  2. 2.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    OT but just got back from the vets. Flossie was bitten by a copperhead. She has been shot full of steroids and antihistermine and is on eight pills a day for the next week or so. Follow up tomorrow at 8am (sucks!) Thank the FSM for Banfield pet hospitals and their weekend hours. Thanks to her wellness plan all it cost me was for her meds (which were pricy enough) but a visit to the Emergency Vet on a Sunday would have cost me three times that at least. She is going to be fine, if a little groggy for a while.

  5. 5.

    sacrablue

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Oh, poor sweet little puppy. I hope she recovers quickly. Thank the FSM for emergency vets. I have had to visit them on more than one Saturday night. We’ve survived the experience though.

  8. 8.

    raven

    @jeffreyw: We used to freak out about the snakes at Giant City. I remember being up on top of a waterfall there and seeing a bunch of moccasins sunning themselves on the rocks. Step and a half shit.

    eta Those hornets on your spread?

  9. 9.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Wow, that’s very scary! Glad poor Flossie is going to be okay, but what a frightening experience for her — and you.

    @Anya: She was very annoying, I agree, although she became less so IMO as the interview progressed. And mostly it was the author who was on camera and talking, and he has come up with an interesting taxonomy of conspiracy theories. I will definitely read his book and would love to see him come over and participate in a BJ book chat sometime soon. It was interesting to hear him talk about The Illuminati. I read the Robert Anton Wilson Illuminati trilogy back in the 1960s, I think, and thought it was funny (except for the parts I plain didn’t understand), but according to him, a significant number of people read these satirical books and decided they were a cover for an actual Illuminati global conspiracy.

  10. 10.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Smallish corrections that no one but me will care about:

    It was the Illuminatus! trilogy, not the plural.
    Co-authors were Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea.
    The trilogy wasn’t published until 1975, so I guess I must not have read it in the ’60s. Wonder what I’m thinking of. Where is Sarah P&T when I could use her?

  11. 11.

    max

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Flossie was bitten by a copperhead.

    I hate fuckin’ copperheads. Rattlesnakes and water moccasins are way easier to deal. Glad Flossie is going to make it.

    Might even suggest it for a Book Chat here, but that would just confirm what you’ve always suspected, right?

    What, that the United States is run by a somewhat retarded goat jacked up on steroids?

    max
    [‘Probably not, actually.’]

  12. 12.

    Scott S.

    @SiubhanDuinne: Illuminatus! is still one of my favorite books. Robert Anton Wilson was a bit of a new age flake, but he had good humor about it, and he wrote like a house on fire.

    In semi-related topics, I don’t understand why Steve Jackson Games hasn’t revived the Illuminati card game in the last few years. The last time they brought it back was during Clinton’s presidency, which was the last Fool’s Golden Age of wacky conspiracy theories. God knows I would’ve bought a few copies of a game expansion titled “Illuminati: Long-Form Birth Certificate”…

  13. 13.

    MikeJ

    @Scott S.: I thought it was still available. I’ve got my copy that I bought back in 198something.

    I also have an actual original run physical copy of the Principia Discordia by Malaclypse the Younger.

  14. 14.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Betty Cracker: @sacrablue: @SiubhanDuinne: @max:

    Looks like she is going to be fine. Have to take her in tomorrow for a follow up but everything looks good so far. Several years ago Judy who has long since gone to the Rainbow Bridge was bitten by one on a Sunday afternoon. We rushed her to the emergency vets (there was no Banfield back then) as her face was swelling to the point she couldn’t breath. $600.00 later and we got her back to the house only to discover that Lucky (ditto) had also be bitten, presumably by the same copperhead. Another emergency vet trip (the vet couldn’t believe it) and another $600.00 later I was in so much financial trouble for months that when Banfield came to town I vowed I would sign up for their wellness plans and not have to worry about things happening on the weekends. Turned out I was smart to do so.

  15. 15.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Scott S.:

    In semi-related topics, I don’t understand why Steve Jackson Games hasn’t revived the Illuminati card game in the last few years.

    I didn’t even know there was such a thing. ‘Swhy I love coming to this place. I always go away knowing more than I knew when I came in.

  17. 17.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    The material upon which The Illuminatus! Trilogy was based had been floating around for quite a while. Wilson and Shea got the idea for the novel in 1969, while editors at Playboy, where they were reading a lot of mail that included the theories. My guess is that you caught wind of those conspiracy theories at some point in the ’60s, and your brain just confused the timeline (which happens to almost everyone at some point- I could still swear that I saw Fast Times at Ridgemont High a year before it came out, even though I know it isn’t possible…okay, not probable, because wormholes are still possible. but I digress…).

    BTW: I liked The Historical Illuminatus Chronicles a bit more than the original trilogy.

  19. 19.

    MikeJ

    @Scott S.: They also have a spin off game that’s a card collecting game, more like Magic, etc than the original.

    I at one time had a thought of doing a browser based version with the same ruleset as the original (use your own graphics as those are TMed), but never got around to it.

    What’s hilarious is finding conspiracy theory fora where they discuss how prescient Steve Jackson was. How could he have seen all this coming? etc.

  20. 20.

    raven

    Bulldogs coach Mark Richt announced Sunday evening that his team’s top receiver, Malcolm Mitchell, will miss the remainder of the season after injuring the anterior cruciate ligament in his right knee while celebrating Todd Gurley’s 75-yard touchdown run in the first quarter of Saturday night’s 38-35 loss to Clemson.

  21. 21.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again):

    Thanks. That makes sense, in a mega-conspiratorial kind of way. The thing that’s confusing me about the date is that I have very clear memories of discussing the Wilson-Shea books with specific people. But to the best of my recollection, I never saw or talked with those people after 1970, and I would have said even slightly earlier. Clearly I’m conflating the trilogy with something else, and it may very well be simply that those ideas were part of the Zeitgeist (as I promise you we used to say back in the ’60s).

  22. 22.

    Scott S.

    @MikeJ: Their trading card game, Illuminati: New World Order has been out-of-print for a long, long time. I’ve still got a giant stack of INWO cards that I’ve never gotten to play, because Magic was still the only thing anyone I knew ever played.

    Years ago, I used those cards to write long, demented letters to small-town newspapers. I’d deal myself a hand at random, put the titles of as many of those cards as I could into a paragraph, then deal myself another hand. If I did that today, I could probably get myself a column at RenewAmerica…

  23. 23.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @raven: I know that’s not supposed to be funny, and is surely not funny to you or any other Georgia football fan, but there’s something about sustaining a season-ending injury “while celebrating” that made me laugh.

    But not for long. I’m sure it’s very painful.

  24. 24.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Clearly I’m conflating the trilogy with something else, and it may very well be simply that those ideas were part of the Zeitgeist (as I promise you we used to say back in the ’60s).

    Or you actually stumbled through one of those wormholes about which physicists have theorized but haven’t, yet, been able to prove…Or maybe they have proved ’em, and The Man just hides that fact from us.

  26. 26.

    Roger Moore

    @Scott S.:

    In semi-related topics, I don’t understand why Steve Jackson Games hasn’t revived the Illuminati card game in the last few years.

    The original boxed game is apparently still in print, or back in print, together with a couple of expansion sets. The did a more recent expansion set, complete with Supermajority, Health Care Reform, and Economic Stimulus, but that expansion seems to be at least temporarily out of print. The collectible card game seems to be out of print, though.

  33. 33.

    billgerat

    @Litlebritdifrnt: That’s why I’m glad I don’t live in a state with dangerous critters like that (well, there are rattlesnakes over in eastern WA, but I’m on the other side). It would be total crap if it were kids and not dogs that got bit.

    This reminds me I need to get pet insurance. I already have spent $1500 on a dog that died 2 months after being diagnosed with what ended up as bone cancer.

  34. 34.

    mclaren

    @Scott S.:

    Years ago, I used those cards to write long, demented letters to small-town newspapers. I’d deal myself a hand at random, put the titles of as many of those cards as I could into a paragraph, then deal myself another hand. If I did that today, I could probably get myself a column at RenewAmerica…

    No, today, you’d be the chairman of the Republican National Committee.

  35. 35.

    jeffreyw

    @BruceJ: Yes, and no. Ever set off the alarm on an old brass windup clock just to hear it wind down? That’s what the rattle of the snake sounded like as Mrs J emptied her revolver into it. It was mostly hidden in a honeysuckle bramble – when I poked around in there with my walking stick all I could see was a coil so I fired off two, one to each side hoping for a head shot. We were both shooting special snake loads that turned the handguns into mini shotguns. Pretty sure the snake was already dead when I fired. That ended the three day snake hunt after the death of our Lizzie.

  37. 37.

    Yatsuno

    @billgerat: There are black widows on the wet side, but really the most deadly creature over these parts is the orca. And really only if you kayak.

  39. 39.

    Roger Moore

    @Yatsuno:

    There are black widows on the wet side, but really the most deadly creature over these parts is the orca.

    Sorry, Yatze, but the most dangerous critter anywhere in the country is the garden variety wingnut. They’re far more numerous, aggressive, and better armed than anything anyone around here has mentioned.

  40. 40.

    Yatsuno

    @Roger Moore: I would feed pretty much the entirety of Bellevue to the orcas, but I like them too much to expose them to that kind of indigestion. I suppose they’ll just have to be ground into glass or something.

  41. 41.

    Sir Laffs-a-lot

    @Scott S. I used to be in game design and have talk ed to Steve about this in general. He is minimizing investment risks “because the livelihood of too many families is on the back of these decisions”. Why he passed up MAGIC, The gathering when it was offered to him: “the one that got away”.

  42. 42.

    billgerat

    @Yatsuno: Yes, but black widows killing dogs are rarer than copperheads or rattlers killing dogs. A female black widow can kill a small dog, whereas a copperhead can kill larger dogs.

    I’d much rather leave Bellevue alone and feed the GOP in Olympia to the orcas. The resulting animal cruelty charge would be bad, but having Dino not run again would be worth it.

  43. 43.

    TrishB

    @billgerat: My sister lost a 2 year old pup to bone cancer. The main takeway was that by the time you have symptoms, it’s way too late.

    There will be insurance for my next dog. Pepper has averaged $300/month in meds for 3 years now. (Diabetes, Cushing’s, cataracts, glaucoma, etc.) This excludes vet, emergency and specialist bills. I just stopped counting at some point and then swallowed both my pride and ethics and started buying most of her meds at Walmart for about 50% less. Yes, I’m not making this shit up – the same exact vial and brand of insulin that is ~$90 at CVS, Target, and Walgreens is $25 at Wallyworld.

  46. 46.

    priscianus jr

    What is a theory? At worst, it is a crackpot narrative that prevent any approach to the truth. At best, it is a necessary process in getting to truths that have been concealed. Because there are lots of crackpot theories, do we condemn “theories” in general?

    it is no different with conspiracy theories. They come in all shapes and sizes, from paranoia and disinformation to the most rigorous and creditable research.

    Conspiracies, by their nature, try to conceal the truth. Usually that concealment is part and parcel of the conspiracy.

    The category “conspiracy theories” has been popularized in the media so that whatever goes into that box is dismissed, with prejudice. And apparently, a good portion of the public wants it that way. Meanwhile, there are real conspiracies. Always have been, always will be.

    It is troubling that to see more focus given to “conspiracy theories” than actual conspiracies. With all the bogus conspiracy theories out there, many of which are deliberate disinformation and others just stupid and paranoid, the blanket category “conspiracy theory” remains a substitute for actual research and actual thought.

  47. 47.

    Calouste

    @Yatsuno:

    Ah, the famous Seattle tolerance shown in full flow there.

    Maybe you should take that scary trip across the water one day and see how the Eastside matches up with your fevered fantasies. Quick pop quiz: which city has a higher percentage of minorities, Seattle or Bellevue?

  48. 48.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @heckblazer:

    A bit young for Playboy at the time. Maybe Rolling Stone. But it actually has more to do with getting dad’s car.

  50. 50.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @Anoniminous:

    You could be right. Theoretically, they can exist. Their existence has just never been proved, afaik.

  52. 52.

    Mnemosyne

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    One of my co-workers had to file for worker’s comp because he broke his foot at our annual holiday potluck — he was jumping for a picture and landed wrong.

  55. 55.

    Elie

    @max:

    Snakes are too many times sad victims of our way of life. Most have no interest in us as prey — their venom was made to capture food — they would rather not waste it on us or our pets except we tromp on them or otherwise invade their space.

    Many snakes are truly important for rodent control and control of other noxious critters. We have a natural balance on this planet — and they are part of it..

    I am sad that Flossie got bitten and would be concerned about any human that experienced same. That said, I must stand by the right of snakes to be snakes and acknowledge that on this every shrinking planet, they are running out of room to do what they do.They have no arms, no legs and must rely on venom and quickness to survive…

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