Can Uruguay keep their cool? Will Wayne Rooney be there for the entire game this time?
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by Randinho| 127 Comments
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Can Uruguay keep their cool? Will Wayne Rooney be there for the entire game this time?
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raven
56 degrees!
Morzer
England to win 3-1, despite the best diving efforts of Dracula and cronies.
Alex S.
2-1 Uruguay… good bye England! (though I found them surprisingly agile against Italy)
Morzer
The Uruguayan anthem sounds like something Gilbert and Sullivan couldn’t quite fit into the Mikado.
HumboldtBlue
England’s gonna win this one, Uruguay melts down and Suarez bites a teammate, kicks the ref but also scores three touchdowns, intercepts two passes and make a late field goal to no avail.
HumboldtBlue
@Morzer: No way, that’s a beautiful anthem, much more Mozartian than G&S
? Martin
I gotta go with Uruguay here. The idea that England wins a match is too much for me to comprehend.
Morzer
@HumboldtBlue:
Mozart would have rolled over and died.. or possibly dived.. before committing such an atrocity against music. No, it belongs somewhere between The Flowers That Bloom In The Spring and A More Humane Mikado.
HumboldtBlue
Al Murray has some thoughts on national anthems (discovered him last night and laughed very much)
Tone in DC
@Morzer:
Greg Louganis couldn’t dive as much as the Cup’s players, even if we cloned him a la Orphan Black.
HumboldtBlue
Jogo dos desperados, according to Darkie (and can they please refrain from calling him Darkie, it just sounds wrong)
? Martin
This is why it would be awesome for California to secede. We could have the first hip-hop national anthem.
Tone in DC
@? Martin:
Let Texas secede, first. Once all the folks who wanted to get the hell out, from Austin and most of the cities, reached a safe distance, of course. Say, in Maryland or Virginia.
The vortex of unencumbered winguttery would be a sight to behold, like a terra-based version of Cosmos.
Alex S.
@Alex S.:
Though actually, England still has a chance if Italy beats Costa Rica and Uruguay, and England beats Costa Rica.
HumboldtBlue
deliberate
catclub
Does keeping their cool mean not getting a yellow card three minutes in?
raven
Blackie and now “wounded knee”. Who is these fucking limeys?
Paul in KY
I’m thinking/hoping the lads get it done today. Nothing against Uruguay though. Wonderful how such a small country is a football power.
Steeplejack
@HumboldtBlue:
Albert Brooks, national anthem auditions.
SFAW
Why start now?
scav
@catclub: I suppose that would depend on the team. I’m suddenly amused by the contrast between Corinthians, Regency England meaning, the more Epistle-based Corinthians and how they both fail utterly with what’s likely to evolve here.
ETA actually, the Vision of Paul running about handing red and yellow cards to the various congregations actually rather works . . .
SRW1
Godin might be skating rather close to a second yellow.
catclub
@scav: Yes, The Corinthians Paul wrote to were squabbling.
ellie
Good lord! The Uruguay team is very good looking. Thank god for high def.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
I’m listening to the radio rather than watching it. Are the Uruguayans playing as thuggish as the ESPN Radio guys are making it sound?
raven
Ooooo, quite a shot.
SarahT
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): Yes, and they just scored.
? Martin
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): Eh. The officiating is a bit uneven, and the commentators are going on about uncalled fouls which I think is making Uruguay sound worse than they actually are.
That was a good goal there.
SarahT
Totally OT but totally hilarious (from Gawker): “The Florida doomsday survivalist and “River Otter Preppers” chief, who was on the lam from the FBI in connection with a plan to kill federal agents with guns and explosives, agreed to surrender Wednesday in exchange for “dry shoes, Gatorade, a couple of cheeseburgers and some French fries.””
Tony J
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why even a slightly less than match fit Luis Suarez is such a terror.
But England really should have dealt with that. 3 against 6 shouldn’t be a problem.
Corner Stone
Uruguay has long been my backup country if I ever have to BugOut of the US.
So go, my compatriots! Beat the bloody British!
Corner Stone
@SarahT: That actually sounds like a pretty good deal. Are there any good burger joints in FL?
? Martin
@SarahT:
Just like Rambo.
SarahT
@Corner Stone: I’m married to a Brit and he’s hard enough to live with as is, so c’mon, England
? Martin
@Corner Stone: Depends. Do you want ammunition with that?
Alex S.
Looks like Wayne Rooney will become the least successful striker in english national soccer history….
scav
@? Martin: Forget ammo, he could have gone for the Skittles.
Corner Stone
@SarahT: That sounds awful. I’m here for you.
Morzer
@Alex S.:
Emile Heskey wants to know why you are messing with his glory.
Corner Stone
@? Martin: Duh!
SarahT
@Corner Stone: No idea, but there are apparently river otters a’plenty,
SarahT
@Corner Stone: Aw, bless you. Hubby’s already approaching Morissey-esque levels of misery. Time to break out the booze !
Morzer
@SarahT:
Have you suggested moving to a soon-to-be independent Scotland and changing nationality?
SarahT
@? Martin: He’d have got away with it if only he had more guns !
Alex S.
@Morzer:
He scored in the 2002 World Cup against Denmark though (had to check Wikipedia for that). Rooney is still at zero world cup goals.
Morzer
“If Costa Rica can, England can” is not so much clutching at straws as fondling a haystack.
burnspbesq
With Hannibal playing against five of his Liverpool teammates, there’s a pretty good chance he won’t be dining until after the match. At least Brendan Rogers hopes so.
SRW1
@Morzer:
Given the state of Scotish football, wouldn’t that be liable to induce clinical levels of depression?
SarahT
@Morzer: Good idea – as long as I get to stay here, heh
Morzer
@SRW1:
It’s the hope that kills sports fans. Total despair means they can enjoy games without being distracted.
SRW1
@burnspbesq:
Might depend on how Suarez’s rumored talks with Real are going. He persuaded Ajax to release him by his first incidence of feasting on an opponent.
burnspbesq
Presented without comment, for your bemusement.
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/05/11/upshot/up-soccer-table.html?_r=0
burnspbesq
@SRW1:
Suarez would be an idiot to go to Real. He’ll never play.
And someday UEFA is going to wake up and realize that Real are the biggest violators of FFP.
SRW1
@Morzer:
I here serene levels of Scheissegal can also be induced with sufficient levels of pot consumption.
eric
It is quite clear that the failure of the English to mount any serious threat toward winning the Cup is part of Hillary’s attempts to sell her book by distracting American anglophiles from Benghazi. That, or they suck ass.
SarahT
@eric: I blame Obama. Obama and Rooney.
eric
@SarahT: I blame andy rooney
SRW1
@burnspbesq:
I don’t know, the branding strategy of Real appears to requires that they make the most expensive deal for a player every season. And Benzema may have become an outstanding striker, but from the Real branding pov he was too cheap.
Corner Stone
@SarahT: Mmmm, I knew I liked you.
? Martin
Looks like it takes England about 50 minutes each half to get warmed up.
SRW1
@burnspbesq:
Well, in defense of Man City you got to say that their regular domestic player is a bit hampered by the fact that he’s a goalie.
SarahT
@eric:Yes. And Mickey Rooney. Fuck those guys.
The Thin Black Duke
Since this is an open thread, SF writer John Scalzi has some interesting observations to share about “ammosexuals”:
http://whatever.scalzi.com/2014/06/19/a-former-marine-corps-weapons-instructor-on-the-desirability-of-guns-for-self-defense/
raven
@SarahT: And Art and Andy too.
SarahT
@raven: And Rooney Mara, whoever that is
NotMax
Whoa. Sticker shock to da max.
Paged through the weekly flyer from a local supermarket. Sale prices are higher than were the non-sale prices on same items a month ago, pretty much across the board.
raven
@SarahT: She bootiful.
raven
I don’t even like him and I’m glad for him!
Steeplejack
The heavens part—and Wayne Rooney scores in the World Cup!
SRW1
And Wayne Rooneu eclipses Emile Heskey.
SarahT
YESSSSSSSSH !
raven
Does a tie still eliminate them?
scav
@raven: Agreed. Although I’d class myself as indifferent, I just like how it will complexity the retroactive backseat coaching.
raven
Old mo?
Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)
‘sabout time, Shrek!
SRW1
@raven:
Nope, but it doesn’t much help either.
raven
@SRW1: thx
SarahT
@raven: Hotter than Andy and Wayne, then ?
gbear
@SarahT:
Ian McLagen (of The Faces) was interviewed on a Twin Cities radio station yesterday by a DJ who was born and grew up in England. They got to talking about the World Cup, and McLagen made up a song on the spot for the English team. The full lyric was ‘England! England! England ain’t so good”. The whole interview was pretty funny.
SarahT
@Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again): Shrek ? HAHAHAHAHA !
Gin & Tonic
@SarahT: From the perspective of a dude, yes.
SarahT
@gbear: Love Ian MacLagen – got the opportunity to meet him many years ago (100 % G- Rated, sorry) and he was just a pleasure to be around. Link to the song, by any chance ?
Amir Khalid
I really don’t care so much for international football — it’s just a distraction from the club game, really — but I’m glad Luis Suarez is recovering nicely from his knee operation.
hildebrand
Gah – its over.
SRW1
That was offside!
HumboldtBlue
Bye, Your Highness
IM
Well that was that. Poor limys.
Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)
@SarahT:
Let me disabuse you of any notion that I might have come up with that on my own. Roo’s had that…Uhm…In his ears for years.
katie5
Sorrowful mood in the pub.
HumboldtBlue
Maccas color is absolutely outstanding
NotMax
Sometimes things come along which fairly scream out for front page mockery.
Calouste
@SRW1: Not if the ball comes from a defender first.
SarahT
@Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again): @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again): Awesome whoever thought it up. And he’s back to sucking, anyway. Gah. So disgusted – time to drink more.
raven
@NotMax: No exploding ceegars?
HumboldtBlue
You must give it to Uruguay, 3.5 million people and they remain a world power
Hawes
@HumboldtBlue: If by Uruguay, you mean Luis Suarez, I agree.
raven
There was all kinds of hysteria here when they added 5 minutes in the US game????
HumboldtBlue
@Hawes: That Uruguay defense was tight until one sweeping counter
SarahT
@gbear: Oh, there IS a link, D’Oh ! Sorry – gotta drink more.
HumboldtBlue
@raven: You didn’t have a guy get kneed in the head in that game
Hawes
This game is a powerful argument against the culture of time wasting. If it was 88 degrees and humid, fine, but Uruguay have milked every noogie and hicky into a near amputation.
At least this isn’t on Rooney. It’s on the English defense.
raven
@HumboldtBlue: I’m just saying some folks were saying it was unprecedented.
Hawes
@HumboldtBlue: Their defense? Didn’t look so tight against Los Ticos.
SRW1
@raven:
There were a lot of interuptions in the first half of the US game and the five min added then didn’t look out of place. In the second half there weren’t nearly as many interuptions and nontheless adding 5 min looked a bit exessive.
raven
@SRW1: I’ll take your word for it.
Morzer
Interestingly, if Italy beat Costa Rica, then an Italy win against Uruguay and an England win against Costa Rica would see, yes.. Italy and England advance.
raven
Great FB post from a friend:
Only flubber can save England now.
Morzer
@raven:
Your friend is actually wrong about that. It’s entirely plausible that Italy beat both Costa Rica and Uruguay – meaning that an England win over Costa Rica (stop laughing there at the back!) would mean England qualifying on goal difference.
scav
@Morzer: So that explains my new favorite of Guardian liveblog
gbear
@SarahT: I linked to the full interview. The ‘England’ song is towards the end of the interview.
Edit: and now I see that you’ve found the link. I went away for a while and didn’t read down before responding.
SRW1
@Calouste:
I see, consensus is that the header came from Gerrard, not an Argentinian player. Second such blunder by Gerrard this season. The Guardian calls it Gerrard 2, England 1.
Looks like most likely the second international carrier that ended on a rather bitter note at this World cup.
Violet
@Morzer: The post-game analysis guys were just saying it puts England fans in the odd position of cheering for Italy.
Joel
@HumboldtBlue: offenbach
SRW1
@Morzer:
A bit like Barcelonas chances to still be in the race for the title in La Liga after their second last game. And it happened.
Ronnie Pudding
@SRW1: I don’t think anyone is claiming it hit an Argentinian player.
Amir Khalid
@Morzer:
But this under-performing England side don’t really deserve to make the knockout stages.
SRW1
@Ronnie Pudding:
Well, I did.
raven
@Morzer:
It
was
a
joke
burnspbesq
It might be interesting to be a fly on the wall in the locker room before Liverpool’s first pre-season practice.
Ronnie Pudding
@SRW1: Argentina or Uruguay?
SRW1
@Ronnie Pudding:
Sorry, for being a bit thick.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@Ronnie Pudding: Well, definitely no one claimed that it hit an Argentinian player. Though that would be an awesome controversy to have right now.
Morzer
@Amir Khalid:
Arguably, nor do Uruguay. There’s a decent case for Costa Rica being the most deserving team, along with Italy, although I have trouble believing that things will fall their way.
Anyway, as you know, the math demands it!
Morzer
@raven:
You
are
forgiven.
The
FEMA
battalions
have
been
stood
down
.
Ronnie Pudding
@SRW1: No big deal. On ESPN radio, they were convinced it was offside, but never even mentioned that it might have gone off of Gerrard.
SarahT
@gbear: Thanks for posting – totally fun interview !
burnspbesq
If you combine all of the eight groups into a single 32-team table, Spain is currently dead last, with no points and a goal difference of -6. Netherlands is in first with six points and a goal difference of +5, followed by Colombia and Chile with six points and +4. The USA is in a six-way tie for ninth.