WTF. Fucking depression, man. And fuck anyone who thinks it isn’t a real illness.
5.
Betty Cracker
Goddamn, that sucks. I was just watching “The Birdcage” again last night (it’s currently on either Netflix or Amazon Prime). He was brilliant in that.
6.
realbtl
Well, shit. Just, shit.
RIP
7.
Baud
Good night, Mork.
8.
RoonieRoo
WTH! I knew he had battles with depression but I never ever thought this would happen. I thought he had a pretty good grip but evidently not.
crap.
9.
max
And FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK.
Shit.
max
[‘Also, fuck Cuomo, because he’s alive and Robin Williams is dead.’]
10.
leeleeFL
I read this online and came here for confirmation..fuck hardly does this justice. I feel like I’ve lost a friend. Damnit
11.
Laertes
=(
12.
Gatchaman
Sad. For a period of time in the 70’s, Mork and Mindy was something my entire extended family loved and shared. I remember during a dark period of my childhood actually sitting down and enjoying episodes with my mother – who changed her schedule just to be home to watch.
Oddly enough, the show is completely unwatchable now*. And the extended family who enjoyed it together is scattered around the country and out of touch intentionally and not.
*Much like Welcome Back Kotter – I loved it then but its total crap when watched now.
13.
Valdivia
So sad. Oh Captain, my Captain!
14.
CaseyL
Shocking, horribly sad news.
15.
Garbo
What a loss. He was utterly unique. I wish him peace.
16.
cckids
So, so sad. For those who wonder how someone like Mr. Williams “can possibly be depressed”, a reminder: ITS A FUCKING ILLNESS, NOT A CHOICE!
Sorry, that sentence just came across on Facebook; its infuriating.
17.
Wag
That sucks. Given the demons that he battled for years, its not surprising, but it still sucks
18.
Bill E Pilgrim
Oh well shit.
Back in the 90s in the town we both lived in as I came driving around the corner he had started crossing the street, and I stopped, and he did this little dance back and forth — okay you go, no I’ll go, okay no I’ll go — sort of pantomime, and I smiled, waved him across with a melodramatic gesture, and he smiled again, and was on his way. Anyone else would have just hesitated, but in his case I got a whole little private Robin Williams routine.
No one knows the internal demons each of us wrestle with. This news makes me so sad, though.
20.
scav
Damn. I want to find some of his Shakespeare, there was moment when he reduced who was that … Dick Caveltt? to a proper bumbling “forsoothe! mumbler while he sped away I think on Three Mile Island in proper style. Oh it was a bright seared-in moment for some reason.
He was in Nashville filming a movie last year. One of my good friends was his massage therapist while he was here. Said he was a very nice, gentle soul — not the hyper-crazed person she had expected from seeing him on TV.
@cckids: There needs to be a different term for clinical depression, maybe “nearly suicidal.” Just something that indicates that it’s not just being sad for a day.
Always had him pegged as manic, personally, but apparently he couldn’t find a reason to get out of his latest down cycle.
Makes me very sad. GWH is one of the very few movies I own, and he deserved his statue for that one, and should’ve won something for The Birdcage if he didn’t.
@Belafon: Exactly. It makes you want to override your own primal survival instincts. I’ll never understand how so many people can’t get that through their heads.
What a terrible tragedy. It seems peace eluded him in life. May he find it in death. Condolences to his family, friends, colleagues, and legion of fans — of whom I count myself one.
31.
Dave in ME
What a tragic loss. My heart goes out to Williams and his family. RIP, you will be missed.
We don’t tell people with cancer to suck it up and get on with life. Depression can be just as deadly, and all the “buck up, buttercup” shit makes me stabby.
35.
JustRuss
I saw him at a benefit once. He was there as a guest, not a performer, but they dragged him on stage and he put on a great impromptu show.
I know of what I speak, and I’ve often considered suicide to be the possible outcome of nothing more than a defective survival instinct. Who knows.
37.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
IIRC, when Christopher Reeve’s insurance ran out, Robin Williams paid his medical bills.
38.
The Dangerman
Sad, sad, sad. A genius that had such incredible range (I may be screwing up the title, but One Hour Photo was such a great performance – if creepy as fuck – but so well done). How such genius can be … well, it’s not really a fair disease, is it?
I recall him being involved at some level when Belushi checked out … guess we had him for longer than we otherwise might have expected after that one…. sad, sad, sad.
39.
shelley
I honestly, honestly cannot believe it.
40.
raven
I was telling a young person about The Adventures of Baron Munchausen just yesterday.
I feel lucky to have seen him perform at the Tower Theater all those years ago…what a thrill.
There are few performers with this kind of fiery talent; I’m gonna miss him and will celebrate his life’s work as much as I can.
They were really close friends from their time at Julliard.
45.
leeleeFL
When he was on Actor’s Studio Lipton wanted to see how long Robin could be serious or at least not be funny. He may have lasted a minute. That j: soul could make me laugh on my worst day. I will miss him
46.
leeleeFL
When he was on Actor’s Studio Lipton wanted to see how long Robin could be serious or at least not be funny. He may have lasted a minute. That j: soul could make me laugh on my worst day. I will miss him
47.
spudgun
Well, FUCK times a BILLION…
As someone who has struggled with depression for close to 3-1/2 decades and has had more than a few brushes with suicidal thoughts, well, just…damn, I’m completely gutted. I’m completely gutted. I don’t know what else to say except – a huge talent has left this earth and I’m so, so very sad. Trying not to cry at work. He will be missed.
MSNBC has had Lipton on for the past 10 minutes it’s gruesome, I finally had to change channels. At one point Lipton was practically sobbing, begging to be let off the phone. They’ve got the poor guy hostage.
MSNBC has had Lipton on for the past 10 minutes it’s gruesome, I finally had to change channels. At one point Lipton was practically sobbing, begging to be let off the phone. They’ve got the poor guy hostage.
53.
cermet
Oh, shit – animals like bush, cheney and their ass wipe monster supporters live on and someone like Williams, who made life so much better, are dead; damn it. Damn it.
54.
Talentless Hack
@RoonieRoo: Like our cat, who we just found out today had cancer in her sinuses and probably won’t last to the new year, you don’t find out until you can’t do a damn thing about it.
IIRC, when Christopher Reeve’s insurance ran out, Robin Williams paid his medical bills.
Williams and Reeve were classmates at Juilliard.
59.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@John M. Burt: I don’t know that we’ll get a cure for this spectrum of brain diseases anytime soon because it’s such a complicated organ. And among the problems with the brain and its neural system being so complicated is that available treatments don’t always work the same for everybody.
And that doesn’t even begin to address the huge segments of population to whom there are no treatments available (thank you health care payment greedhogs), or the folks who are ashamed to seek treatment for what so many consider a weakness.
To which I say, to those people with that view:
Fuck you; I’ve stared down more murderers than you are ever likely to, most of whom were annoyed with me. So don’t even get me started on who is or isn’t tough. It’s a disease, not a lifestyle choice.
Robin Williams will always be Garp to me. No one else could have played that role.
61.
MazeDancer
Such a one-of-a-kind rare genius.
Such a deep, horrible loss.
If someone of nearly untouchable value can’t find a way to overcome depression, with every possible existing area of treatment and help at his disposal, it is devastating to think of all the regular folks who succumb to those feelings of their only hope to end the pain is to end living.
Not that I don’t understand that feeling. But a mind as huge as Robin Williams not being able to understand that he had to make a commitment to not end his life, no matter what, is so heart-breaking.
Hollywood is a hard, hard, hard, hard, hard place. And Joel Silver’s quote “I’ve got friends I haven’t even used yet” is so true. Reality is tough to come by in Show Biz. And punching holes in reality was Robin’s strong suit.
May people who now they are on the edge be motivated to seek help by this. May there be some help for them when they seek.
I was thinking how Jonathan Winters struggled with depression all his life, but somehow managed to live to a ripe old age.
ETA: And I didn’t mean that as any reproach to Williams, I just always think of the two of them together, and we lost Winters earlier this year.
64.
jayboat
The man did some of the funniest routines in the history of comedy.
Who could forget the comic relief ridiculousness with Billy and Whoopi?
His early stand-up stuff made me laugh harder and longer than at any time in my life, before or since.
According to the Urban Legends pages, both Reeve and Williams denied the medical bills rumor was true. But it really feels like it could have been true.
69.
justawriter
Reality, What a Concept helped me get through four years of a Christian College with a sense of humor intact. “The president is a pissant, my Lord.”
I loved the Fisher King, even though critics pissed all over his performance. Every role, like John Wayne, he played Robin Williams. Sometimes it was perfect, like in Good Morning Vietnam, sometimes it was entertainingly inappropriate, like Awakenings. I enjoyed his new series and wonder if its cancellation was a contributing factor.
RIP
Damn. Too early. May he be remembered for all of the good work he did and all of the laughs. May his memorial service be filled with joyous memories.
Only God knows the immense pain he endured and made art out of, and may this give an impetus towards some sort of cure.
73.
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
The Bird Cage is probably the Mrs.’ and my favorite American comedy film. We watch it frequently, and reference portions of it on an almost daily basis.
“Dammit, fuck the shrimp!’
74.
donnah
I was stunned when I heard about his death. He was a genius and I will miss his unique style. The older he fot, the more he resembled my late father, which was oddly comforting, because my dad loved Robin Williams.
My condolences to his family and friends. It will take me a long time to process this.
75.
max
My ex-girlfriend would say, ‘It’s not FAIR! Robin Williams [Julia Child, Roald Dahl, etc.] isn’t supposed to die. He’s supposed to go on forever!’
max
[‘Goddammmit.’]
76.
Bex
@leeleeFL: Lipton is doing an interview with MSNBC now. I remember Williams’ top ten reasons to be an Episcopalian: One of them was “free wine on Sundays.”
I suffered through so many kids movies when my boys were little. Aladdin was genius. I have really happy memories of being all snuggled up on the couch laughing and singing to that movie. He certainly tested the talents of the animators.
78.
Charles Pierce
When Bill Graham died , they had a memorial service in Golden Gate Park. RW was part of it. IIRC, he started his set with, “What the hell? Bill’s dead and Jesse Helms doesn’t even have a cold.” Adapt that to today’s sad news however you wish.
79.
hitchhiker
There’s a great (true) story about Williams showing up in Reeve’s hospital room shortly after his injury, pretending behind a mask to be a demented proctologist.
Oh, I’m so sad.
80.
Charles Pierce
When Bill Graham died , they had a memorial service in Golden Gate Park. RW was part of it. IIRC, he started his set with, “What the hell? Bill’s dead and Jesse Helms doesn’t even have a cold.” Adapt that to today’s sad news however you wish.
81.
Tokyokie
@cckids: Not only that, but the comedic stylings we were enjoying were coming from a very dark place and were probably his way of coping with his demons. Great comedy and severe depression, unfortunately, are often two sides of the same coin, as was the case with Williams’ idol, Johnathan Winters.
82.
raven
Williams has struggled with substance abuse since the 1980s. He previously admitted to cocaine and alcohol addiction and entered rehab in 2006 for alcoholism after 20 years of sobriety. He later told ABC’s Diane Sawyer that his falling off the wagon was “very gradual.”
We’ve talked about it here before but Lewis Puller had a similar experience. He was severely wounded in Vietnam, became addicted to alcohol and pills while recovering, overcame it and, when he slipped back into it, ended his life. His book Fortunate Son is a worthy read. About 2 years into being sober my wife asked me if I would ever do that “glass of wine with dinner” stuff. I told her Lewis’ story and said I’d prefer to stay sober.
83.
Origuy
I was fortunate to see him a few times on stage in Bay Area comedy clubs. He did a bit at the memorial show for Jane Dornacker, a comedian who worked as a traffic reporter and died in a copter crash. I heard that he rarely went to see other comedians, because he would absorb bits of their routines and use them on stage unconsciously. His mind just worked so fast he couldn’t stop himself.
84.
piratedan
just want to say a belated thank you, while his passing is tragic, thank you for everything he left behind. While we’re somewhat less without him now, at least he lingered with us a while to leave us with all that joy.
I do believe it’s time to break out my ancient cassette of that and listen to it again.
86.
raven
Phillip Seymour Hoffman was clean for 20 years if I remember correctly.
87.
askew
2014 sucks. We’ve lost so many great people – Williams, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, James Brady, Maya Angelou , James Garner, Gabriel Garcia Marquez to name just a few.
It’s been a shitty year for my family and lots of other people here at B-J as well.
I never watched the Crazy Ones but my DVR would catch the outtakes of the show before it taped Elementary and he had the cast laughing hysterically in the outtakes. What a talented man who left us too soon.
88.
Pococurante
He and Jonathan Winters are no doubt catching up on old times…
@raven: I didn’t know that about Lewis Puller. His father, of course, was a most famous marine. I’d read his book, and while he didn’t come out and say so, I knew he couldn’t NOT join the military with that kind of history hanging over him.
Sorry to hear of his sad end. But then, isn’t it also cruel to expect someone to carry on when they don’t have the resources, and we cannot help them?
When someone has intractable physical pain, we seem to understand that better.
91.
raven
@WereBear: I’m think his pain was both physical and psychological.
While this may not be exactly true about so many of his roles, I feel that, once you’ve seen Williams play it, nobody else seems right.
It’s a lighter moment of his, but I remember when “Blame Canada” was nominated for Best Song at the Oscars; everyone was wondering “how the hell are they going to stage that?”. Then it was announced that Williams would be singing it; our reaction was “oh, of COURSE”.
Such an incandescent talent. His Genie from Aladdin is magic.
.
RIP, my brother. So sad. I had no idea he was that sick. I knew he had had a drug problem, but wasn’t aware of the depression. We lose too many talented people from this illness.
Not that I don’t understand that feeling. But a mind as huge as Robin Williams not being able to understand that he had to make a commitment to not end his life, no matter what, is so heart-breaking
.
Please understand that the size and sharpness of the mind, in the context you stated is not the issue. This is a disease. Yes the person has to make the step but part of the problem is the inability to make that leap, to see that hope, that possibility that there is an end other than ending. It doesn’t matter the intellect, it’s the point of view, the ability to see something in the darkness, that’s what it takes. And for so many getting to that point can be impossible.
97.
Louise
F**k. Crap. Dammit. I adored Robin’s work. There was so much more that could have been.
I am so grateful my depression has been treatable and was never complicated by booze or drugs. Grateful for the help I’ve had. Grateful, I guess, that my brain didn’t go full genius so it could save something to keep me from plummeting over the edge.
Dammit.
askew named many, and I would add Elaine Stritch. It’s been a bitch of a year so far.
@justawriter: The Fisher King is one of my favorite movies. I didn’t know the critics hated his performance. Fuck ’em.
100.
Elizabelle
Versatile man. Terrific actor; One Hour Photo was superb and not his usual character.
Very sad news. Wish it could be not true.
101.
Mrs. Skink
Good Will Hunting, Death to Smoochy, Patch Adams, are some of my favorites of his. I remember watching the James Lipton show with Robin Williams years ago, and this woman was laughing her head off through the whole two hour interview. She had to go to the hospital afterwards for either exhaustion or heart issues, God bless her. He was so damn funny. Damn…
I turned 60 about a month ago and all I can think about this is that I can relate. Blah, blah, blah everyone says I’m doing all the right things. If I make it to 64 I’ll be OK. Robin’s pain is over.
106.
Patricia Kayden
@Charles Pierce: Substitute Cheney for Helms and the joke still rocks. RIP Robin.
107.
SectarianSofa
Thought he was bipolar ; if so, it unfortunately has a much higher suicide rate than unipolar depression…. Though mortality rate in either is way too high.
Such a sad day, especially for us that live in the Bay Area and would see Robin on occasion.
Despite his immense talent and crazed stage persona, in person he was a very nice, and very unassuming man. A friend used to be his masseuse (as well as John Lassiter’s) and she spoke very kindly of him.
I saw him one time at a LaserDisc store in the Sunset District as he and his son Zachery browsed the Japanese Anime. I didn’t even realize it was Robin until the store’s owner (a friend) asked me afterwards if I knew who had just left. He just blended in with his beard and military field jacket. I walked by him at least a few times, probably even rubbing shoulders, and just didn’t “see” him. Another time I just missed him when he came in to get a copy of “Mrs. Doubtfire” on LD, but the owner got him to sign my copy: “There’s no face like foam, Robin Williams”. Of course I still have it even though my player is long gone.
RIP Robin – you were a real treasure, and the Bay Area is in mourning.
Yes the person has to make the step but part of the problem is the inability to make that leap, to see that hope, that possibility that there is an end other than ending. It doesn’t matter the intellect, it’s the point of view, the ability to see something in the darkness, that’s what it takes. And for so many getting to that point can be impossible.
And can I just say that sometimes that’s what you think and then the pain just goes on and on. Maybe it will end someday, but maybe it won’t and sometimes you just run out of the stamina needed to deal with it.
As someone who deals with depression and has attempted suicide I get really, really tired of people telling me that it will get better and just keep going. No, actually, there’s a pretty good chance that it will never get better and I’m stuck living in misery for good.
People who breathe and live that kind of wit do not do it because it is fun. They do it to cope, and to escape. There is a brand of humorist whose product is actually a kind of cry for help, and Robin Williams was of that brand. Terrible, such a gift, such a curse.
116.
Jacks mom
What a talent and a gift to those of us who appreciate the irreverence he demonstrated toward the status quo. When I heard he had gone back into rehab earlier this year I gotta say I was a little concerned. I’ve battled substance abuse and thus * depression for decades. Sometimes it’s hard to find a reason to not give up. RIP Robin
*I think one is holding hands with the other. In my experience anyway.
Damn, I’m sad for his family and friends. Whoopi Goldberg and Billy Crystal come to mind first. I remember watching the Comic Relief specials when I was young.
Damnit!
119.
Emma
Go with God and take our thanks with you, Mr. Williams.
120.
chuckbutcher
This bit of news ruined a perfectly good day. I guess I can take the trade considering how many days he improved for me. And f..k people who think diseases are a matter of will power.
121.
JPL
@Patricia Kayden: My list is much longer.
“Birdcage” was my favorite film but I loved everything he was in. Like several others, I had no idea that he was suffering.
122.
lamh36
Nanu, Nanu!
@TODAYshow 3m
“He arrived in our lives as an alien – but he ended up touching every element of the human spirit” -Pres. Obama re: Robin Williams
@TheActOfStyle 3m
Touched my heart to the core “@MichaelSkolnik: Statement from President Obama on the passing of Robin Williams. pic.twitter.com/ptPYhr9qzX”
123.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@raven: No, but it’s still a response that trivializes what I’m experiencing. It’s not just a passing thing. It’s been a regular presence for thirty years and a constant, neverending one for the last five. The comment is usually connected to someone telling me what it is that I need to change in order to feel better and all it does is make me angry.
once you’ve seen Williams play it, nobody else seems right.
Yes. That is exactly it. There are a number of more-or-less interchangeable actors out there, but Williams always ended up completely owning his roles.
Still can’t wrap my head around his death.
125.
Villago Delenda Est
Oh, this is just terrible.
I saw him in Tacoma back in the 80’s, doing his thing of full scale improvisation, he was in top form and hilarious.
He was a tremendous talent. I hope he’s in a better place.
Mork signing off, Orson…
126.
Ruckus
@piratedan:
This.
A person is born, lives and dies. How many of us will be remembered fondly by anyone outside immediate family?
It’s a trick question, the answer is extremely few. Robin Williams is one.
127.
MikeBoyScout
Since Happy Days I’ve been watching everything he’s done. The man was pure genius on a stage, in front of a microphone and in front of a camera.
I recall watching an HBO stand-up a little over 10 years ago and pissing my pants.
The substance I’ve been addicted to for nearly 40 years was Robbin Williams theater. No we’re going cold turkey.
I’m thinking Robert Sean Leonard must be feeling rather battered. He played opposite Robin Williams on film (Dead Poets Society) and Philip Seymour Hoffman on stage (Long Day’s Journey Into Night).
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): I was recently palling around with many people who were undergoing or had undergone ECT. Good results for treatment resistant depressions. The regime at the research unit involved I believe full anesthesia, and both inpatient and outpatient.
133.
caring&sensitive
At the risk of swimming against the tide (and notwithstanding my nym) maybe he finally figured out that he just wasn’t funny. (Which would seem to be a condition precedent for being a comic). I can say that I never once even smiled when I saw him on TV or in a movie. For the last 15 years, or so, I have made a point of assiduously avoiding anything he was in, as I found him to be the prime example of the “look at me! aren’t I funny” school of comedian
134.
raven
@SectarianSofa: I spent years going for the full anesthesia.
135.
SectarianSofa
@raven: That’s my favorite Woody Allen movie, right there.
136.
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
Just broke the news bo the Mrs., who’s at work and I thought would’ve heard by now. She started sobbing on the phone.
Humor and wit can touch a lot of lives. It’s not just about making people laugh. It’s about making us laugh at ourselves, our absurd stations in life, being allowed a match to pierce the darkness we instinctively know would never think twice about eating us alive — as Mr. Williams’ passing so starkly illustrates.
Robin Williams was an airman, a doctor, a genie, a nanny, a president, a professor, a bangarang Peter Pan, and everything in between. But he was one of a kind. He arrived in our lives as an alien – but he ended up touching every element of the human spirit. He made us laugh. He made us cry. He gave his immeasurable talent freely and generously to those who needed it most – from our troops stationed abroad to the marginalized on our own streets. The Obama family offers our condolences to Robin’s family, his friends, and everyone who found their voice and their verse thanks to Robin Williams.
138.
SectarianSofa
@raven: Ha. Well, I hope it worked better for you than most.
139.
raven
@SectarianSofa: Well there we go. . .off to the Village Idiot’s Convention in Minsk!
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): Maybe it will end someday, but maybe it won’t and sometimes you just run out of the stamina needed to deal with it.
I think that’s a factor in many of the cases we are discussing here; age slows us all down, in different ways. But it actually can call for extra when the well has run dry.
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
I am sorry about that.
From your comment I may need to apologize then. I was not trying to say that it is easy or that all it takes is seeing what you can’t, I was trying to point out exactly what your comment says. It isn’t easy or sometimes even possible to get there.
I’m luckier than you, it took me 5 yrs of weekly and sometimes twice weekly therapy and I find myself having to always be aware of depression sneaking up and smacking me upside the inside of my head. It’s a constant fight, even when the fighting is not deadly, for it could turn that way in an instant.
149.
raven
@SectarianSofa: It’s a curse. Don’t get me going on Groucho.
Oh, that’s sad news. I am sorry. I know you’ll give your kitty the best possible quality of life as long as it can be appreciated, and provide her with a gentle nudge toward the Rainbow Bridge when that time comes. I seem to be sending out a lot of virtual hugs and light recently, but there’s an endless supply, so here are some hugs for you and white light for your cat.
153.
Manyakitty
@raven: Sure, but Love and Death is much more what people (OK, I) expect from WA movies. Deconstructing Harry, and especially that scene, caught me somewhat off guard.
154.
raven
Rachel has the Fonz on.
155.
PurpleGirl
@raven: I’ve been trying to remember the name of that book for several days. What gets me about depression is how it takes away your enjoyment of life and motivation to do things. And it is physical as much as it takes over your brain. You lose a vision for the future.
RIP Robin Williams
156.
SectarianSofa
@WereBear: Plus you (tend to) take more hits as you get older, both with yourself and those around you. Too many funerals and too many doctor’s visits seem to remind us that some things don’t get better.
Ah, well. I’m younger than some here, but the best I can do is to embrace impermanence (in the vein of Buddha/Heraclitus/et al.). And try again….
157.
Ruckus
@PurpleGirl:
I think you lose the vision that there might even be such a thing as a future.
Might be semantics, I guess it depends on the depths of your disease.
158.
SectarianSofa
@raven: I wasn’t a big fan of most of his movies, actually. But I couldn’t help but like the guy.
159.
Villago Delenda Est
Yet again, a good human being has departed the mortal coil, but the vile thing that is the Dark Lord continues on.
Find those fucking horcruxes, dammit. And get the spawn as well.
160.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@Ruckus: For me therapy did a lot of good in getting me to stop blaming myself. The downside of that is that deciding that it wasn’t my fault didn’t cause anything to get better; I just got angry at the world. At some point, spending eight years unsuccessfully applying for jobs and having your wife walk out on you nine months after a nervous breakdown becomes to much to take no matter whose fault it is.
161.
raven
@PurpleGirl: What I remember most about my ex (and Styron) is how she could hide it. She seemed perfectly ok and she was in fucking agony. After we split we still were meeting to hammer out the divorce. I was tutoring this guy who listened to the police scanner in his car before our session. She had dropped me off and 5 minutes later we heard a report that someone had hit a kid crossing the street a few blocks away. I knew it was her and it was. The dude walked right in front of her and his head smashed into the windshield and he flipped over the car. I got there and she was totally unfazed, She went to the hospital to see him and, despite the blood, he was going to be ok. I remember talking to a doctor friend of ours who said, “there is no way someone in their right mind could be unaffected by that”. Scary shit but with the help of drugs and talk she reconstructed herself.
[i]t’s still a response that trivializes what I’m experiencing. It’s not just a passing thing. It’s been a regular presence for thirty years and a constant, neverending one for the last five. The comment is usually connected to someone telling me what it is that I need to change in order to feel better and all it does is make me angry.
This is really important. The “things will look up; just wait!” line of consolation/encouragement is insulting in its trivialization of the illness. Nobody (mostly) would dream of saying something like that to a cancer patient, but it’s a garden variety thing people with depression (whether unipolar or bipolar) hear when others believe it should be gotten over already.
Part of the brain disorder is the thought distortions that result. As Ruckus noted earlier in response to this comment:
But a mind as huge as Robin Williams not being able to understand that he had to make a commitment to not end his life, no matter what, is so heart-breaking
The cognitive distortions caused by the brain disorder may make that an impossible commitment. These diseases affect thought patterns as well as behavior. And it’s not a matter of choice.
I’ll stop ranting now. I have a fascinating and well written story to finish marking up.
Depression is a hell of a thing. It doesn’t go away. There’s no consistent medication for it, there’s no cure. You carry that weight as far as you can go. But goddammit, he’d gotten to 63 years with it, he made it that far, had family, had friends… Just one moment of falling tired from the fight, that’s all it takes… :(
@SectarianSofa: I didn’t always find him tremendously funny, but he seemed like a nice dude, and more importantly, his movies were rarely angry or cynical (if they ever were). The world needs more people like that.
“Nobody (mostly) would dream of saying something like that to a cancer patient,”
Really? We have a friend who has been battling brain cancer for 3 years. She’s not going to get better yet we hang with her and try to be as encouraging as possible. You know what we really think? It’s time for her to go. Maybe we should just tell her that.
168.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Nobody (mostly) would dream of saying something like that to a cancer patient, but it’s a garden variety thing people with depression (whether unipolar or bipolar) hear when others believe it should be gotten over already.
When Chicago Bears wide receiver Brandon Marshall first decided to wear green shoes to raise awareness for mental illness during Thursday Night Football last week, the NFL told him he wouldn’t be allowed on the field with the shoes on. The league relented after public pressure, but it promised Marshall he’d be fined.
Marshall, who was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder in 2011, wore the shoes anyway. And the NFL followed up on its threat, fining Marshall $10,500 for violating the league’s uniform rules. Marshall tweeted the NFL letter announcing the fine Wednesday along with a message:
I recall watching an HBO stand-up a little over 10 years ago and pissing my pants.
I had seen him in a few things, liked him, didn’t know his work all that well, when one night in, probably, the early ’80s he was a guest on the old Tonight Show. He started riffing about anything and everything, totally manic, extremely edgy (for the time), and hysterically funny. I don’t remember one damn thing he said, but I do remember literally falling on the floor, clutching the carpet, sobbing with mirth. Jesus Hagedorn Christ but that man was genius.
170.
Ruckus
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
I missed this part of Purple Girl’s comment the first time around. I agree 100% that a big part is losing motivation. It can seem so pointless.
Look how many here of this rather small group live with depression. I’m sure not everyone is willing to discuss it, but just the numbers of commenters or people close to them with depression is amazing. And for those of you who think this is about being depressed about a thing or an event, that is a symptom. What depression is about is being depressed about life. One in particular for sure but it is about life, not something in life.
171.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@raven: What I’m trying to say is people acknowledge cancer as a medical disorder in a way that so many do not with brain disorders we call mental illness. You are not in that group, and you saw clinical depression up close.
But a disheartening number of people do not believe brain disorders are actually medical conditions. Surely people with them juts need to toughen up, or wait out the dark days.
As I mentioned, I’ve stared down dozens of murderers, many of whom were annoyed with me at the time. I’ll stack my tough up against most. But there have been days I wasn’t sure I had the stamina to last until the days got bright again. I believe David Foster Wallace – as an example – just ran out of stamina.
It’s easy to get worn out when a big part of the world thinks you should just get the fuck over it already. Would that it were that easy.
@raven: I think being encouraging with a terminally ill friend is a whole different ball of wax. I’m sure you’re great comfort to her with your companionship. But you have a point that she may be getting tired and need some permission from people she loves. I
The title music to Garp was The Beatles’ “When I’m 64.”
Robin Williams only made it to 63.
174.
raven
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): She took a cab to the local gun shop over a year ago. The owner called her family to come get her. We stay away from giving advice on how they are handling it, they have gone into another level of chemo so we’ll see. You do the best you can.
175.
bluehill
With his energy and mental agility, I’m amazed he lasted this long. When he was in an interview and would start improvising, I would think it must be tiring to have your mind racing so fast. I wish I could do it, but I imagine there was a cost as well. He gave us all of him every time he performed. I hope he’s finally at peace. I don’t know why, but this quote from Shawshank came to mind
Red: [narrating] Sometimes it makes me sad, though… Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. But still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they’re gone. I guess I just miss my friend.
176.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@raven: That’s a rather outdated explanation that goes back to classical psychoanalytic stuff. It’s medically understood to be brain based now, as opposed to the “mismanaged/inward focused anger” approach of the 70s and early 80s. Many survived anyway, and I’m glad the Vietnam Vet Mrs. Raven was among them.
I could be inventing the story that she said she was a Vietnam Vet for all the shit you put her through. If I did, I think it’s kind of clever. :)
My reaction to the news was sad resignation as I recognized and acknowledged his choice of not fighting the pain filled darkness any longer. Sometimes the weariness from that long battle becomes too heavy to carry for another day. So sad. We’ve lost too many recently.
“Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.” And his was. Thank you for the gifts you gave to so many.
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Yeah, I’ve gotten pretty good at focusing my anger outwards. Doesn’t make the depression any better even though I know I’m awesome.
the comedic stylings we were enjoying were coming from a very dark place and were probably his way of coping with his demons. Great comedy and severe depression, unfortunately, are often two sides of the same coin
It’s a staple of musical theatre. See Canio in Pagliacci, and Jack Point in The Yeomen of the Guard.
184.
Gravenstone
@SiubhanDuinne: Yeah, he’s been known to pop by on occasion.
Oh, shit – animals like bush, cheney and their ass wipe monster supporters live on and someone like Williams, who made life so much better, are dead; damn it. Damn it.
If you were God or the devil, would you be in a hurry to see any of them?
Finally figured that out when I read all the way through to the final paragraph of last Friday’s “Out on the Weekend” post. Might help if I did that when he posts them instead of waiting three days and getting pissed because he’s not saying anything of a Monday.
190.
GregB
I was just at a funeral for a comic friend yesterday. Died after taking I’ll with a rare disease while performing on a cruise ship. He was supposed to be married this weekend and I instead of vows his fiance gave a tribute. Now this with Robin Williams.
Sad days.
191.
drkrick
@caring&sensitive: I wonder what you’ll do when you figure out you’re a big ol’ asshole. That was what you felt obliged to share at a time like this?
192.
Morbo
Dammit.
193.
Ruckus
@Mike in NC:
Exactly my thought. If there was a just god this pustule would be long gone. And if god is not a just god what is all that new testament stuff and his only begotten son about? And why bother? Now the devil on the other hand…. Would the devil want him to stay around and continue to cause grief or would he want to party with him?
194.
Ruckus
@drkrick:
He might already know. And is just letting the rest of us in on it.
F#ck! My favourite comedian of all time. I am sooooo sad.
Depression sucks big-time. Hubby(Ross) and I are both sufferers. Sometimes it is harder than anyone without this illness can comprehend. Medication keeps the worst at bay but….. Ross lost his job last year, after 27 years. Am very worried for him. While he had a job (not that he liked it much) he could manage to go. Now at age 55 am not sure what will happen.
197.
SiubhanDuinne
My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—
It gives a lovely light!
–Edna St Vincent Millay
@Debbie(aussie):
Best of luck for you both.
I found a job last year and after about a month my boss told me that he sort of figured I really needed the job more for me than for the money. He was right. I can’t work near as hard nor as much as I used to(65 yrs! Who’d have thought I’d get this far?) but that stability and acceptance is important. More than I realized.
Once again I wish you both well.
200.
Debbie(aussie)
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
I am so sorry for your struggle, let me say that I very honestly feel your pain. I had to give up my job way back in 1998 because of chronic pain, then promptly had a nervous breakdown (had already been diagnosed with depression).
201.
Debbie(aussie)
@Ruckus:
Thank you Ruckus, very much. This is a wonderful place to visit, whether commenting or not.
202.
leeleeFL
@SiubhanDuinne: this poem helped make the loss of my Son survivable. He always seemed to be rushing somewhere I couldn’t understand.
203.
Ruckus
@Debbie(aussie):
More than welcome.
Like you I get a lot out of this place. It’s like a big ole front porch that you sit on out of the sun and talk about everything. Things that make you happy, things that make you sad, things that make you mad, and just things in general.
204.
Debbie(aussie)
@Ruckus:
That is a wonderful way to describe it, tho I would call it a veranda ?
205.
Ruckus
@Debbie(aussie):
Same thing, different languages. You speak english and I speak a completely different thing.
{{hug}}
I am so sorry about your loss. But yes, it is — if not a particularly comforting poem — at least a somewhat explanatory verse.
207.
leeleeFL
@SiubhanDuinne: Thank you. Miss Millay knew a thing or two.t
208.
Amir Khalid
Oh dear. I remember following Mork and Mindy all those years ago. Pam Dawber was a big crush for me, but he was the funniest thing ever that I’d seen on TV. Damn. Rest n peace, Robin Williams.
209.
_PK_
I think it best to enjoy his comedy. For those who golf, here is Williams take on the games origins.
@bluehill: That was my first thought as well, that I’m kind of surprised he made it to 63. People like Robin Williams tend to burn out, often much earlier than this.
I lost an old childhood friend to suicide several years ago, and the hell of it was that everyone knew it was a possibility, and he was getting treatment for depression. But the guy was determined; he had a plan, which he concocted even while he was getting the therapy, and he carried it out in the thorough way that he did everything. Left a family behind.
212.
Gemina13
Bipolar disorder, huh? Wonderful. Such a lovely disease that makes you feel like you’re loathsome and an utter failure at life. And I saw several commenters (again, on Facebook) say things like, “What a selfish thing for him to do” and “He had so much to live for.” Fucking right, he did, but bipolar disorder didn’t give a damn about that – it’s a fucking mental illness. And you do not have the right to call someone in that much mental pain selfish. We’re not talking about a toddler throwing a fit over not getting a cookie before dinner. We’re talking about people who are convinced, and in agony because of it, that they are worthless, and would better serve their friends and families by killing themselves.
I know many here understand how it feels when you’ve been hearing the voice in your head for too long, that dark little monotone that asks you why you even bother anymore. Who cares? Why is anything you do so special? It’s just pathetic, that’s all. Stupid you, thinking you’ll amount to anything. You’re buried in debt and regressing in your career, people just tolerate you and laugh at you behind your back, and your dreams are all delusions. You’re an abject failure, surrounded by smarter, more successful people. Why hang around? Kill yourself. You’ll never have to worry about this ever again. And for most of us, we snap back to reality after a few minutes, or a few days, floating in this despair: hey, wait, I don’t want to die, I just want this to stop. I need it all to stop hurting me, and just go away. And then you’ve got the ones who hear the little voice, nod in agreement, and reach for the gun, the plastic bag, or the bottle of pills.
That’s not selfishness. That’s utter despair. I hope the people who confuse the two never have to see what the real difference is.
(And my favorite films with Williams were Aladdin, What Dreams May Come, and Awakenings–although I’m going to see One Hour Photo as soon as I can find the DVD. Right now, there’s a meme going around that quotes from Aladdin – “Genie, you’re free” – that makes me sob each time I see it. Dammit, Internet.)
213.
Matt McIrvin
One Hour Photo is brilliant. I don’t like many of Williams’ “serious” films; they’re usually these mawkish things. But he made that one at a time when he seemed to be seeking out more challenging material, and it’s downright unsettling, largely because of his performance.
Also: Popeye. How the hell somebody greenlit a Popeye the Sailor Man movie directed by Robert Altman, I’ll never know, and the whole thing is a weird, floppy mess that tanked and became a laughingstock (not in a good way); the main fascination of it is that it even got made. But Robin Williams physically throws himself into the part and gives 1000%. It’s kind of a cult movie now.
214.
Matt McIrvin
…And I recently saw the Gilliam Baron Munchhausen again; Williams’ little bit in it is more disturbing-funny than I remembered.
The first real time I saw Robin Williams act was his brief appearance in Dead Again, a half-baked supernatural attempt at Hitchcock thriller. He played a creepy ex-psychiatrist who gets consulted by Kenneth Branagh’s detective. He toned down a lot of the manic tics in his comedic performances from earlier, played the guy relatively straight, and was one of the best performances in the movie. And this was with a bunch of Shakespearean-trained performers surrounding him.
The reason people are frustrated with seriously depressed people is because we all struggle with the same kind of feelings that depressed people do, but the depressed people claim impotence in that struggle.
And how can we really know that they have no ability? We can’t. Is depression a brain glitch or a choice? I don’t know, and I doubt the depressed person can really know either. I only know that as long as you’re certain you can do nothing, there’s nothing to be done.
I have a close friend who’s been depressed for decades, and just sitting and quietly listening to his interminable depressed monologue is a huge burden on my own soul. But trying to be helpful is useless too, and only annoys him.
Look at all the lonely people.
221.
CONGRATULATIONS!
Depression is a motherfucker.
As to yesterday’s most high profile casualty of the disease, I gotta confess – never liked him. His bullshit shuck n’ jive manic act was just that – an act. Helped by copious amounts of cocaine. Williams gave me the fucking creeps. What he was projecting on the outside was so wildly at variance with what you’d occasionally glimpse from the inside that it scared me. A guy who can consciously live a lie like he did is a guy who can do anything…and you’d never know. I would never have consented to be in a room alone with the guy.
At any rate, I hope he finally found some peace.
And how can we really know that they have no ability? We can’t. Is depression a brain glitch or a choice? I don’t know, and I doubt the depressed person can really know either. I only know that as long as you’re certain you can do nothing, there’s nothing to be done.
@Joey Giraud: If that’s the case (and it’s not) then what’s the fucking difference? The victim is just as crippled either way.
The reason people are frustrated with seriously depressed people is because we all struggle with the same kind of feelings that depressed people do, but the depressed people claim impotence in that struggle.
Emphasis added
Trust me; you do not. Congratulations on being part of the fucking problem.. are you frustrated with people who have heart attacks because you get chest pains yet they claim they can’t control theirs? Because the functioning of a depressed person’s brain is just as disordered as that of the heart of someone with cardiac disease. Sure it looks different because the organs are different. Depression is no more a matter of will (or lack thereof) than cardiac or kidney or liver disease.
223.
LAC
@Elizabelle: thank you. My mother is a different person. She is still sweet but muted in her joy of life. We are still trying figure out (fruitlessly) why he did it and a day doesn’t go by that I do not think about him. But with a lot of planning, we have managed to get my folks moved closer to us,rather than be in St. Louis. This way, they are near grandchildren and family. I think it will improve things and I see two happier people. Worth the time and expense.
224.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@LAC: I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you the move will make it less agonizing for your parents.
But why should I trust you? Because you say so? I should accept your assertion that your feelings are unique?
Depression isn’t something with a clear physical cause like heart attacks are. Bad analogy.
Almost everyone gets “depressed” at times, and many non-depressed people also experience despair at fundamental existential loneliness and the futility of life.
Why has every self-described depressed person I’ve ever known also been narcissistic as all get up?
I’m not out to blame depressed people for their feelings or lack thereof, only to point out that for those of us who know and care about depressed people, it’s mighty damn hard too. And that it’s almost impossible to suppress the nagging feeling that your depressed friend is simply weak and selfish.
And that’s a reality that depressed people have to live with. Depressing, I know.
Depression isn’t something with a clear physical cause like heart attacks are. Bad analogy.
Several Departments of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neuroscience beg to differ with you.
Almost everyone gets “depressed” at times, and many non-depressed people also experience despair at fundamental existential loneliness and the futility of life.
That’s not what clinical depression is. It’s a physical condition. Clinical depression is not about being sad or lonely, even existentially so.
And that it’s almost impossible to suppress the nagging feeling that your depressed friend is simply weak and selfish.
That it may be, but it doesn’t make your feeling accurate. I’m not going to change your mind, clearly. But I’m not going to stop disagreeing with you just because you call me names.
Why has every self-described depressed person I’ve ever known also been narcissistic as all get up?
Severe depression just makes some people incredibly self-absorbed. When they’re in that hole, they can’t help it.
It’s part of what makes it so soul-sucking to be the person who sits there and listens. I’ve done it because I had to. But after a while you do have to unplug for the sake of your own mental health, kind of like making sure your own oxygen mask is secure.
Hand waving appeals to unnamed lab coats aren’t very convincing.
Especially when so much neurological “research” these days is MRI results from small sample sizes with very small correlations.
Another way to put it: if science can demonstrate a clear brain dysfunction that clearly correlates to self-described depression, then why isn’t there a definitive test?
“It’s a physical condition” because you say so. Because others say so.
And I don’t know that it’s not.
I’m just saying that in any particular case it’s impossible to know ( without that definitive test, ) whether someone’s self-described depression is a curse or choice.
Would you accept anyone’s claim? I bet you wouldn’t. I bet there would be someone out there who claimed depression that would trigger your BS detector.
Oh, and hiphop,, I didn’t call you any names at all. A hypersensitivity to perceived insults is a mark of narcissism as well as depression.
And I’m sorry you feel depressed. But my points aren’t meant for you, they’re meant for anyone else who cares about a depressed person and who has similar feelings. It’s to help them, let them know those feelings aren’t strange. They’re not bad people for wanting to avoid exposure to the depressed person, or feeling less then happy about seeing them.
And it’s not a bad thing to try to cheer up depressed people, it’s just not effective or helpful.
Narcissism being a symptom, not a cause. It’s an inability ( or unwillingness in different circumstances ) to connect, relate, empathize.
It takes some head space to connect, relate, empathize.
I mean, I would very much like to believe my friend has no control over his depression, but the nagging feeling that he could help himself if he wanted to enough, and that somehow he’s “happier” wallowing in self-pity ( and haven’t we all enjoyed a bit of self-pity at times? )..
Well that feeling is very hard to ignore, it just won’t go away.
Sorry, depressed buddy, I can’t join you, I can’t help you, I can’t save you, and I certainly can’t, as you remind me every time I see you, understand you.
What’s left other then to listen for hours and feel bummed for days afterward?
231.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@Joey Giraud: Actually, I’m not feeling depressed, though I appreciate the thought. And I’m not disagreeing with the notion that it’s a kind of torture to spend time with someone who’s depressed. Nor do I fail to understand that nagging feeling that if they just tried harder…
None of which makes depression (unipolar or bipolar) less of a physical medical illness. I understand I will not change your mind. I am biased by spending time at grand rounds of a med school psych department, and I freely admit that bias. At the last didactic I gave to 4th year psych residents, a patient of one of those young docs had suicided the day before. The doc really didn’t think the patient was full of self pity; he thought the patient was medically ill – terminally so as it turned out.
I do dig that being professionally embedded in that area of study can give one a strong sense of certainty, a certainty that’s undeserved from my point of view.
Psychological conclusions based on MRI studies seem quite presumptuous to me. Rather like making confident predictions about social structures based on Google Earth.
I’m quite skeptical, for example, of the confident assertions that we understand the physical mechanism underlying ADD.
Still, it’s the best tool we have at this time. IMO, brain research is about at the same stage as avionics was at the time of DaVinci.
233.
Matt McIrvin
@Joey Giraud: What it really is, is palliative care for a chronically ill person. And it’s probably doing some good, even if you don’t see them getting any better, if only in keeping the person from sinking dangerously lower.
But I know, it’s tough especially when they lash out at you for not giving more, when you feel like you’re already at your own emotional limit.
Yeah. My buddy recently gave me a lecture on exactly what kind of support he needed from me to be a good friend, and it was about as demanding as you can imagine.
If I really thought that his depression was a choice or a wallowing in self-pity I would have dropped him years ago. I’m a loyal guy, but everyone has limits. So I suppose it’s because I do believe him.
235.
LanceThruster
Talented man with a lot of inner pain and personal demons. Everyone is entitled to check out when they choose; to literally be the captain of their own ship. Still, he will be missed and leaves behind a lot of pain in his passing.
“O Brothers of sad lives! they are so brief;
A few short years must bring us all relief:
Can we not bear these years of laboring breath?
But if you would not this poor life fulfil,
Lo, you are free to end it when you will,
Without the fear of waking after death.”
The City of Dreadful Night by James Thomson
236.
james
Having suffered for years with Major Depression, I know intimately how Robin Williams felt. Unless you have had this illnesses, you will never understand the dark thoughts that flow like water over a falls in one’s mind. I was treated with every type of antidepressant available, with no relief. This only lead to me feeling more useless, thinking I could never be normal again. As a last resort, I agreed to try electro Convulsive Therapy In short, it saved my life! Unfortunately, many people’s that were my friends before the treatment including family ran for the hills afterwards thinking I was now some form of a Zombie! Such a shame that in this open and enlighten world today, Mental illness is still stigmatized. And when one is successful in their treatment, they are still stigmatized! I only hope and pray that Robin’s pubic death will somehow start a paradigm shift in the majority of people’s thinking, and except that Mental illness is no different that someone with Cancer, or heart disease! It just happens to affect the brain. I am certain that Robin is now in a better place, and making god laugh!
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Botsplainer
Wow! How awful.
srv
Crap. RIP. Perhaps he couldn’t live without Jonathan.
Citizen_X
Fuck.
Karen in GA
WTF. Fucking depression, man. And fuck anyone who thinks it isn’t a real illness.
Betty Cracker
Goddamn, that sucks. I was just watching “The Birdcage” again last night (it’s currently on either Netflix or Amazon Prime). He was brilliant in that.
realbtl
Well, shit. Just, shit.
RIP
Baud
Good night, Mork.
RoonieRoo
WTH! I knew he had battles with depression but I never ever thought this would happen. I thought he had a pretty good grip but evidently not.
crap.
max
And FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK.
Shit.
max
[‘Also, fuck Cuomo, because he’s alive and Robin Williams is dead.’]
leeleeFL
I read this online and came here for confirmation..fuck hardly does this justice. I feel like I’ve lost a friend. Damnit
Laertes
=(
Gatchaman
Sad. For a period of time in the 70’s, Mork and Mindy was something my entire extended family loved and shared. I remember during a dark period of my childhood actually sitting down and enjoying episodes with my mother – who changed her schedule just to be home to watch.
Oddly enough, the show is completely unwatchable now*. And the extended family who enjoyed it together is scattered around the country and out of touch intentionally and not.
*Much like Welcome Back Kotter – I loved it then but its total crap when watched now.
Valdivia
So sad. Oh Captain, my Captain!
CaseyL
Shocking, horribly sad news.
Garbo
What a loss. He was utterly unique. I wish him peace.
cckids
So, so sad. For those who wonder how someone like Mr. Williams “can possibly be depressed”, a reminder: ITS A FUCKING ILLNESS, NOT A CHOICE!
Sorry, that sentence just came across on Facebook; its infuriating.
Wag
That sucks. Given the demons that he battled for years, its not surprising, but it still sucks
Bill E Pilgrim
Oh well shit.
Back in the 90s in the town we both lived in as I came driving around the corner he had started crossing the street, and I stopped, and he did this little dance back and forth — okay you go, no I’ll go, okay no I’ll go — sort of pantomime, and I smiled, waved him across with a melodramatic gesture, and he smiled again, and was on his way. Anyone else would have just hesitated, but in his case I got a whole little private Robin Williams routine.
Sigh.
Southern Beale
He was just back in rehab last week.
No one knows the internal demons each of us wrestle with. This news makes me so sad, though.
scav
Damn. I want to find some of his Shakespeare, there was moment when he reduced who was that … Dick Caveltt? to a proper bumbling “forsoothe! mumbler while he sped away I think on Three Mile Island in proper style. Oh it was a bright seared-in moment for some reason.
hilts
FUCK FUCK FUCK
This is a terrible tragedy
RIP Robin Williams
Thanks for all the great laughs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuk8AOjGURE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z90Y9Ao_RXw
C.V. Danes
@Karen in GA: Yup. Depression is not being really sad. It’s trying to survive every day in an endless sea of emotion pain, with no land in site.
Southern Beale
He was in Nashville filming a movie last year. One of my good friends was his massage therapist while he was here. Said he was a very nice, gentle soul — not the hyper-crazed person she had expected from seeing him on TV.
SatanicPanic
oh man, poor guy, that sucks
Belafon
@cckids: There needs to be a different term for clinical depression, maybe “nearly suicidal.” Just something that indicates that it’s not just being sad for a day.
John O
Depression is a mo-fo beast of an illness.
Always had him pegged as manic, personally, but apparently he couldn’t find a reason to get out of his latest down cycle.
Makes me very sad. GWH is one of the very few movies I own, and he deserved his statue for that one, and should’ve won something for The Birdcage if he didn’t.
RobertDSC-iPhone 4
RIP. A great loss.
Karen in GA
@Belafon: Exactly. It makes you want to override your own primal survival instincts. I’ll never understand how so many people can’t get that through their heads.
hilts
Great scene from a great film
What will your verse be?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq_XBP3NrBo
SiubhanDuinne
What a terrible tragedy. It seems peace eluded him in life. May he find it in death. Condolences to his family, friends, colleagues, and legion of fans — of whom I count myself one.
Dave in ME
What a tragic loss. My heart goes out to Williams and his family. RIP, you will be missed.
John M. Burt
@Karen in GA: Depression is a killer. Plain and simple, a vicious killer disease. Available treatments are not adequate — we need to find a cure.
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
Robin Williams Live at the Met was awesome. I remember watching it with my brothers and sisters and laughing non stop.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@cckids:
@C.V. Danes:
@Karen in GA:
Thank you all three.
We don’t tell people with cancer to suck it up and get on with life. Depression can be just as deadly, and all the “buck up, buttercup” shit makes me stabby.
JustRuss
I saw him at a benefit once. He was there as a guest, not a performer, but they dragged him on stage and he put on a great impromptu show.
John O
@Karen in GA:
I know of what I speak, and I’ve often considered suicide to be the possible outcome of nothing more than a defective survival instinct. Who knows.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
IIRC, when Christopher Reeve’s insurance ran out, Robin Williams paid his medical bills.
The Dangerman
Sad, sad, sad. A genius that had such incredible range (I may be screwing up the title, but One Hour Photo was such a great performance – if creepy as fuck – but so well done). How such genius can be … well, it’s not really a fair disease, is it?
I recall him being involved at some level when Belushi checked out … guess we had him for longer than we otherwise might have expected after that one…. sad, sad, sad.
shelley
I honestly, honestly cannot believe it.
raven
I was telling a young person about The Adventures of Baron Munchausen just yesterday.
raven
Here he is as a flying head.
Elmo
Fuck.
That is all.
Mike E
I feel lucky to have seen him perform at the Tower Theater all those years ago…what a thrill.
There are few performers with this kind of fiery talent; I’m gonna miss him and will celebrate his life’s work as much as I can.
MomSense
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
They were really close friends from their time at Julliard.
leeleeFL
When he was on Actor’s Studio Lipton wanted to see how long Robin could be serious or at least not be funny. He may have lasted a minute. That j: soul could make me laugh on my worst day. I will miss him
leeleeFL
When he was on Actor’s Studio Lipton wanted to see how long Robin could be serious or at least not be funny. He may have lasted a minute. That j: soul could make me laugh on my worst day. I will miss him
spudgun
Well, FUCK times a BILLION…
As someone who has struggled with depression for close to 3-1/2 decades and has had more than a few brushes with suicidal thoughts, well, just…damn, I’m completely gutted. I’m completely gutted. I don’t know what else to say except – a huge talent has left this earth and I’m so, so very sad. Trying not to cry at work. He will be missed.
raven
@leeleeFL: MSBNC has Lipton on now.
Southern Beale
The World According To Garp, Helllloooo people, no one is talking about that performance, he was fucking brilliant
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
Damn.
Southern Beale
@raven:
MSNBC has had Lipton on for the past 10 minutes it’s gruesome, I finally had to change channels. At one point Lipton was practically sobbing, begging to be let off the phone. They’ve got the poor guy hostage.
Southern Beale
@raven:
MSNBC has had Lipton on for the past 10 minutes it’s gruesome, I finally had to change channels. At one point Lipton was practically sobbing, begging to be let off the phone. They’ve got the poor guy hostage.
cermet
Oh, shit – animals like bush, cheney and their ass wipe monster supporters live on and someone like Williams, who made life so much better, are dead; damn it. Damn it.
Talentless Hack
@RoonieRoo: Like our cat, who we just found out today had cancer in her sinuses and probably won’t last to the new year, you don’t find out until you can’t do a damn thing about it.
SiubhanDuinne
@Southern Beale:
That is my favorite Robin Williams movie, and right up there on my all-time favorite movies list. I love, love, love Garp.
raven
@Southern Beale: He stayed of his own volition and Robin left of his.
Southern Beale
@Talentless Hack:
Ahh sorry about the cat. Cancer in the sinuses? That’s harsh.
Well we’ve had a cat with lymphoma who’s still going strong after a full year. You never know. Cats have 9 lives.
burnspbesq
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Williams and Reeve were classmates at Juilliard.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@John M. Burt: I don’t know that we’ll get a cure for this spectrum of brain diseases anytime soon because it’s such a complicated organ. And among the problems with the brain and its neural system being so complicated is that available treatments don’t always work the same for everybody.
And that doesn’t even begin to address the huge segments of population to whom there are no treatments available (thank you health care payment greedhogs), or the folks who are ashamed to seek treatment for what so many consider a weakness.
To which I say, to those people with that view:
Fuck you; I’ve stared down more murderers than you are ever likely to, most of whom were annoyed with me. So don’t even get me started on who is or isn’t tough. It’s a disease, not a lifestyle choice.
Southern Beale
@SiubhanDuinne:
Robin Williams will always be Garp to me. No one else could have played that role.
MazeDancer
Such a one-of-a-kind rare genius.
Such a deep, horrible loss.
If someone of nearly untouchable value can’t find a way to overcome depression, with every possible existing area of treatment and help at his disposal, it is devastating to think of all the regular folks who succumb to those feelings of their only hope to end the pain is to end living.
Not that I don’t understand that feeling. But a mind as huge as Robin Williams not being able to understand that he had to make a commitment to not end his life, no matter what, is so heart-breaking.
Hollywood is a hard, hard, hard, hard, hard place. And Joel Silver’s quote “I’ve got friends I haven’t even used yet” is so true. Reality is tough to come by in Show Biz. And punching holes in reality was Robin’s strong suit.
May people who now they are on the edge be motivated to seek help by this. May there be some help for them when they seek.
Howard Beale IV
Goddammit.
gogol's wife
@srv:
I was thinking how Jonathan Winters struggled with depression all his life, but somehow managed to live to a ripe old age.
ETA: And I didn’t mean that as any reproach to Williams, I just always think of the two of them together, and we lost Winters earlier this year.
jayboat
The man did some of the funniest routines in the history of comedy.
Who could forget the comic relief ridiculousness with Billy and Whoopi?
His early stand-up stuff made me laugh harder and longer than at any time in my life, before or since.
R.I.P.
WereBear
Many great performances.
I just wish he hadn’t done “sad clown” so well.
lamh36
OMG! Just last month, I the Black guy who plays the Genie on Broadway won a Tony for his role as Genie. I rewatched Alladin after that.
RIP Robin Williams. My youngest sister loves Alladdin and the Genie is like her fav character.
Damn.
Aladdin – Friend Like Me
http://youtu.be/grVzHu-_LcU
spudgun
@Southern Beale: I agree – one of my favorites. The first time I saw that he could be serious as well as funny, and it was a revelation.
ETA: That, and Fisher King – LOVED him in that.
Southern Beale
@burnspbesq:
According to the Urban Legends pages, both Reeve and Williams denied the medical bills rumor was true. But it really feels like it could have been true.
justawriter
Reality, What a Concept helped me get through four years of a Christian College with a sense of humor intact. “The president is a pissant, my Lord.”
I loved the Fisher King, even though critics pissed all over his performance. Every role, like John Wayne, he played Robin Williams. Sometimes it was perfect, like in Good Morning Vietnam, sometimes it was entertainingly inappropriate, like Awakenings. I enjoyed his new series and wonder if its cancellation was a contributing factor.
RIP
Iowa Old Lady
How sad
jacy
Fuck.
There are no words.
CarolDuhart2
Damn. Too early. May he be remembered for all of the good work he did and all of the laughs. May his memorial service be filled with joyous memories.
Only God knows the immense pain he endured and made art out of, and may this give an impetus towards some sort of cure.
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
The Bird Cage is probably the Mrs.’ and my favorite American comedy film. We watch it frequently, and reference portions of it on an almost daily basis.
“Dammit, fuck the shrimp!’
donnah
I was stunned when I heard about his death. He was a genius and I will miss his unique style. The older he fot, the more he resembled my late father, which was oddly comforting, because my dad loved Robin Williams.
My condolences to his family and friends. It will take me a long time to process this.
max
My ex-girlfriend would say, ‘It’s not FAIR! Robin Williams [Julia Child, Roald Dahl, etc.] isn’t supposed to die. He’s supposed to go on forever!’
max
[‘Goddammmit.’]
Bex
@leeleeFL: Lipton is doing an interview with MSNBC now. I remember Williams’ top ten reasons to be an Episcopalian: One of them was “free wine on Sundays.”
MomSense
@lamh36:
I suffered through so many kids movies when my boys were little. Aladdin was genius. I have really happy memories of being all snuggled up on the couch laughing and singing to that movie. He certainly tested the talents of the animators.
Charles Pierce
When Bill Graham died , they had a memorial service in Golden Gate Park. RW was part of it. IIRC, he started his set with, “What the hell? Bill’s dead and Jesse Helms doesn’t even have a cold.” Adapt that to today’s sad news however you wish.
hitchhiker
There’s a great (true) story about Williams showing up in Reeve’s hospital room shortly after his injury, pretending behind a mask to be a demented proctologist.
Oh, I’m so sad.
Charles Pierce
When Bill Graham died , they had a memorial service in Golden Gate Park. RW was part of it. IIRC, he started his set with, “What the hell? Bill’s dead and Jesse Helms doesn’t even have a cold.” Adapt that to today’s sad news however you wish.
Tokyokie
@cckids: Not only that, but the comedic stylings we were enjoying were coming from a very dark place and were probably his way of coping with his demons. Great comedy and severe depression, unfortunately, are often two sides of the same coin, as was the case with Williams’ idol, Johnathan Winters.
raven
We’ve talked about it here before but Lewis Puller had a similar experience. He was severely wounded in Vietnam, became addicted to alcohol and pills while recovering, overcame it and, when he slipped back into it, ended his life. His book Fortunate Son is a worthy read. About 2 years into being sober my wife asked me if I would ever do that “glass of wine with dinner” stuff. I told her Lewis’ story and said I’d prefer to stay sober.
Origuy
I was fortunate to see him a few times on stage in Bay Area comedy clubs. He did a bit at the memorial show for Jane Dornacker, a comedian who worked as a traffic reporter and died in a copter crash. I heard that he rarely went to see other comedians, because he would absorb bits of their routines and use them on stage unconsciously. His mind just worked so fast he couldn’t stop himself.
piratedan
just want to say a belated thank you, while his passing is tragic, thank you for everything he left behind. While we’re somewhat less without him now, at least he lingered with us a while to leave us with all that joy.
Gravenstone
@justawriter:
I do believe it’s time to break out my ancient cassette of that and listen to it again.
raven
Phillip Seymour Hoffman was clean for 20 years if I remember correctly.
askew
2014 sucks. We’ve lost so many great people – Williams, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, James Brady, Maya Angelou , James Garner, Gabriel Garcia Marquez to name just a few.
It’s been a shitty year for my family and lots of other people here at B-J as well.
I never watched the Crazy Ones but my DVR would catch the outtakes of the show before it taped Elementary and he had the cast laughing hysterically in the outtakes. What a talented man who left us too soon.
Pococurante
He and Jonathan Winters are no doubt catching up on old times…
raven
Here he is Out of Focus
WereBear
@raven: I didn’t know that about Lewis Puller. His father, of course, was a most famous marine. I’d read his book, and while he didn’t come out and say so, I knew he couldn’t NOT join the military with that kind of history hanging over him.
Sorry to hear of his sad end. But then, isn’t it also cruel to expect someone to carry on when they don’t have the resources, and we cannot help them?
When someone has intractable physical pain, we seem to understand that better.
raven
@WereBear: I’m think his pain was both physical and psychological.
cckids
@Southern Beale:
While this may not be exactly true about so many of his roles, I feel that, once you’ve seen Williams play it, nobody else seems right.
It’s a lighter moment of his, but I remember when “Blame Canada” was nominated for Best Song at the Oscars; everyone was wondering “how the hell are they going to stage that?”. Then it was announced that Williams would be singing it; our reaction was “oh, of COURSE”.
Such an incandescent talent. His Genie from Aladdin is magic.
.
Waynski
@Valdivia:
This.
RIP, my brother. So sad. I had no idea he was that sick. I knew he had had a drug problem, but wasn’t aware of the depression. We lose too many talented people from this illness.
rikyrah
RIP Robin.
Thank you for all the laughs and the good acting.
Karen in GA
@Talentless Hack: I’m so sorry.
Ruckus
@MazeDancer:
.
Please understand that the size and sharpness of the mind, in the context you stated is not the issue. This is a disease. Yes the person has to make the step but part of the problem is the inability to make that leap, to see that hope, that possibility that there is an end other than ending. It doesn’t matter the intellect, it’s the point of view, the ability to see something in the darkness, that’s what it takes. And for so many getting to that point can be impossible.
Louise
F**k. Crap. Dammit. I adored Robin’s work. There was so much more that could have been.
I am so grateful my depression has been treatable and was never complicated by booze or drugs. Grateful for the help I’ve had. Grateful, I guess, that my brain didn’t go full genius so it could save something to keep me from plummeting over the edge.
Dammit.
askew named many, and I would add Elaine Stritch. It’s been a bitch of a year so far.
Joel
Seems appropriate now.
Karen in GA
@justawriter: The Fisher King is one of my favorite movies. I didn’t know the critics hated his performance. Fuck ’em.
Elizabelle
Versatile man. Terrific actor; One Hour Photo was superb and not his usual character.
Very sad news. Wish it could be not true.
Mrs. Skink
Good Will Hunting, Death to Smoochy, Patch Adams, are some of my favorites of his. I remember watching the James Lipton show with Robin Williams years ago, and this woman was laughing her head off through the whole two hour interview. She had to go to the hospital afterwards for either exhaustion or heart issues, God bless her. He was so damn funny. Damn…
Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)
Fighting against an endless darkness is unimaginable to most, and unbearable to those who wish they were only imaging it.
RIP Robin.
Cris (without an H)
NOT OKAY, UNIVERSE
raven
Styron’s Darkness Visible is a worthy read on this subject. My (brilliant artistic) first wife fell into a clinical depression and the book helped me understand what happened.
gbear
I turned 60 about a month ago and all I can think about this is that I can relate. Blah, blah, blah everyone says I’m doing all the right things. If I make it to 64 I’ll be OK. Robin’s pain is over.
Patricia Kayden
@Charles Pierce: Substitute Cheney for Helms and the joke still rocks. RIP Robin.
SectarianSofa
Thought he was bipolar ; if so, it unfortunately has a much higher suicide rate than unipolar depression…. Though mortality rate in either is way too high.
Anyway, boo. Sad.
Darkrose
Well shit. May he find peace.
Thoughtcrime
@Southern Beale:
The Under Toad finally got him.
Such a sad day, especially for us that live in the Bay Area and would see Robin on occasion.
Despite his immense talent and crazed stage persona, in person he was a very nice, and very unassuming man. A friend used to be his masseuse (as well as John Lassiter’s) and she spoke very kindly of him.
I saw him one time at a LaserDisc store in the Sunset District as he and his son Zachery browsed the Japanese Anime. I didn’t even realize it was Robin until the store’s owner (a friend) asked me afterwards if I knew who had just left. He just blended in with his beard and military field jacket. I walked by him at least a few times, probably even rubbing shoulders, and just didn’t “see” him. Another time I just missed him when he came in to get a copy of “Mrs. Doubtfire” on LD, but the owner got him to sign my copy: “There’s no face like foam, Robin Williams”. Of course I still have it even though my player is long gone.
RIP Robin – you were a real treasure, and the Bay Area is in mourning.
Elizabelle
@raven: William Styron for Darkness Visible.
Sad, sad day.
raven
@Elizabelle: Thank you. I have my copy right on the book shelf right next to “Goodbye, Darkness: A Memoir of the Pacific War”.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@Ruckus:
And can I just say that sometimes that’s what you think and then the pain just goes on and on. Maybe it will end someday, but maybe it won’t and sometimes you just run out of the stamina needed to deal with it.
As someone who deals with depression and has attempted suicide I get really, really tired of people telling me that it will get better and just keep going. No, actually, there’s a pretty good chance that it will never get better and I’m stuck living in misery for good.
raven
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): Do you think they are trying to do you harm?
gbear
I feel so sorry for his family.
E.
People who breathe and live that kind of wit do not do it because it is fun. They do it to cope, and to escape. There is a brand of humorist whose product is actually a kind of cry for help, and Robin Williams was of that brand. Terrible, such a gift, such a curse.
Jacks mom
What a talent and a gift to those of us who appreciate the irreverence he demonstrated toward the status quo. When I heard he had gone back into rehab earlier this year I gotta say I was a little concerned. I’ve battled substance abuse and thus * depression for decades. Sometimes it’s hard to find a reason to not give up. RIP Robin
*I think one is holding hands with the other. In my experience anyway.
MikeBoyScout
@Gravenstone: feeling that too
lamh36
Damn, I’m sad for his family and friends. Whoopi Goldberg and Billy Crystal come to mind first. I remember watching the Comic Relief specials when I was young.
Damnit!
Emma
Go with God and take our thanks with you, Mr. Williams.
chuckbutcher
This bit of news ruined a perfectly good day. I guess I can take the trade considering how many days he improved for me. And f..k people who think diseases are a matter of will power.
JPL
@Patricia Kayden: My list is much longer.
“Birdcage” was my favorite film but I loved everything he was in. Like several others, I had no idea that he was suffering.
lamh36
Nanu, Nanu!
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@raven: No, but it’s still a response that trivializes what I’m experiencing. It’s not just a passing thing. It’s been a regular presence for thirty years and a constant, neverending one for the last five. The comment is usually connected to someone telling me what it is that I need to change in order to feel better and all it does is make me angry.
SiubhanDuinne
@cckids:
Yes. That is exactly it. There are a number of more-or-less interchangeable actors out there, but Williams always ended up completely owning his roles.
Still can’t wrap my head around his death.
Villago Delenda Est
Oh, this is just terrible.
I saw him in Tacoma back in the 80’s, doing his thing of full scale improvisation, he was in top form and hilarious.
He was a tremendous talent. I hope he’s in a better place.
Mork signing off, Orson…
Ruckus
@piratedan:
This.
A person is born, lives and dies. How many of us will be remembered fondly by anyone outside immediate family?
It’s a trick question, the answer is extremely few. Robin Williams is one.
MikeBoyScout
Since Happy Days I’ve been watching everything he’s done. The man was pure genius on a stage, in front of a microphone and in front of a camera.
I recall watching an HBO stand-up a little over 10 years ago and pissing my pants.
The substance I’ve been addicted to for nearly 40 years was Robbin Williams theater. No we’re going cold turkey.
raven
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): Well, I got nuthin.
Manyakitty
@raven: That’s my favorite scene from a Woody Allen movie, ever.
SiubhanDuinne
@Louise:
I’m thinking Robert Sean Leonard must be feeling rather battered. He played opposite Robin Williams on film (Dead Poets Society) and Philip Seymour Hoffman on stage (Long Day’s Journey Into Night).
raven
@Manyakitty: Well, it was really good but
Yes, but subjectivity is objective.
– Not in a rational scheme of perception.
SectarianSofa
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): I was recently palling around with many people who were undergoing or had undergone ECT. Good results for treatment resistant depressions. The regime at the research unit involved I believe full anesthesia, and both inpatient and outpatient.
caring&sensitive
At the risk of swimming against the tide (and notwithstanding my nym) maybe he finally figured out that he just wasn’t funny. (Which would seem to be a condition precedent for being a comic). I can say that I never once even smiled when I saw him on TV or in a movie. For the last 15 years, or so, I have made a point of assiduously avoiding anything he was in, as I found him to be the prime example of the “look at me! aren’t I funny” school of comedian
raven
@SectarianSofa: I spent years going for the full anesthesia.
SectarianSofa
@raven: That’s my favorite Woody Allen movie, right there.
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
Just broke the news bo the Mrs., who’s at work and I thought would’ve heard by now. She started sobbing on the phone.
Humor and wit can touch a lot of lives. It’s not just about making people laugh. It’s about making us laugh at ourselves, our absurd stations in life, being allowed a match to pierce the darkness we instinctively know would never think twice about eating us alive — as Mr. Williams’ passing so starkly illustrates.
JPL
@lamh36: Here’s the entire statement ..
SectarianSofa
@raven: Ha. Well, I hope it worked better for you than most.
raven
@SectarianSofa: Well there we go. . .off to the Village Idiot’s Convention in Minsk!
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Great picture tweeted by Sesame Street
https://twitter.com/sesamestreet/status/498975277331267585
S.Holland
Funniest man alive….I am just heartbroken…he brought so much joy ….the world is less bright…
gf120581
Unfortunately, the old stereotype of the comedian who’s laughing on the outside but dying on the inside was all too applicable to Williams.
I can only pay tribute to him by posting his final line from “Good Will Hunting,” one of the best closing lines in film history.
“Son of a bitch. He stole my line.”
raven
@SectarianSofa: It was a losers game. I got out.
SectarianSofa
@raven: I’ve got no quotes, because I suck at that sort of thing, but thanks for reminding me to smile.
hilts
@askew:
Yes, it’s been a bitch of a year – we also lost Charlie Haden, Tommy Ramone, and Johnny Winter.
WereBear
I think that’s a factor in many of the cases we are discussing here; age slows us all down, in different ways. But it actually can call for extra when the well has run dry.
raven
@caring&sensitive: I hated “Good Morning”.
Ruckus
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
I am sorry about that.
From your comment I may need to apologize then. I was not trying to say that it is easy or that all it takes is seeing what you can’t, I was trying to point out exactly what your comment says. It isn’t easy or sometimes even possible to get there.
I’m luckier than you, it took me 5 yrs of weekly and sometimes twice weekly therapy and I find myself having to always be aware of depression sneaking up and smacking me upside the inside of my head. It’s a constant fight, even when the fighting is not deadly, for it could turn that way in an instant.
raven
@SectarianSofa: It’s a curse. Don’t get me going on Groucho.
raven
dupe
JPL
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Ahh!
SiubhanDuinne
@Talentless Hack:
Oh, that’s sad news. I am sorry. I know you’ll give your kitty the best possible quality of life as long as it can be appreciated, and provide her with a gentle nudge toward the Rainbow Bridge when that time comes. I seem to be sending out a lot of virtual hugs and light recently, but there’s an endless supply, so here are some hugs for you and white light for your cat.
Manyakitty
@raven: Sure, but Love and Death is much more what people (OK, I) expect from WA movies. Deconstructing Harry, and especially that scene, caught me somewhat off guard.
raven
Rachel has the Fonz on.
PurpleGirl
@raven: I’ve been trying to remember the name of that book for several days. What gets me about depression is how it takes away your enjoyment of life and motivation to do things. And it is physical as much as it takes over your brain. You lose a vision for the future.
RIP Robin Williams
SectarianSofa
@WereBear: Plus you (tend to) take more hits as you get older, both with yourself and those around you. Too many funerals and too many doctor’s visits seem to remind us that some things don’t get better.
Ah, well. I’m younger than some here, but the best I can do is to embrace impermanence (in the vein of Buddha/Heraclitus/et al.). And try again….
Ruckus
@PurpleGirl:
I think you lose the vision that there might even be such a thing as a future.
Might be semantics, I guess it depends on the depths of your disease.
SectarianSofa
@raven: I wasn’t a big fan of most of his movies, actually. But I couldn’t help but like the guy.
Villago Delenda Est
Yet again, a good human being has departed the mortal coil, but the vile thing that is the Dark Lord continues on.
Find those fucking horcruxes, dammit. And get the spawn as well.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@Ruckus: For me therapy did a lot of good in getting me to stop blaming myself. The downside of that is that deciding that it wasn’t my fault didn’t cause anything to get better; I just got angry at the world. At some point, spending eight years unsuccessfully applying for jobs and having your wife walk out on you nine months after a nervous breakdown becomes to much to take no matter whose fault it is.
raven
@PurpleGirl: What I remember most about my ex (and Styron) is how she could hide it. She seemed perfectly ok and she was in fucking agony. After we split we still were meeting to hammer out the divorce. I was tutoring this guy who listened to the police scanner in his car before our session. She had dropped me off and 5 minutes later we heard a report that someone had hit a kid crossing the street a few blocks away. I knew it was her and it was. The dude walked right in front of her and his head smashed into the windshield and he flipped over the car. I got there and she was totally unfazed, She went to the hospital to see him and, despite the blood, he was going to be ok. I remember talking to a doctor friend of ours who said, “there is no way someone in their right mind could be unaffected by that”. Scary shit but with the help of drugs and talk she reconstructed herself.
raven
@SectarianSofa: Yep.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
This is really important. The “things will look up; just wait!” line of consolation/encouragement is insulting in its trivialization of the illness. Nobody (mostly) would dream of saying something like that to a cancer patient, but it’s a garden variety thing people with depression (whether unipolar or bipolar) hear when others believe it should be gotten over already.
Part of the brain disorder is the thought distortions that result. As Ruckus noted earlier in response to this comment:
The cognitive distortions caused by the brain disorder may make that an impossible commitment. These diseases affect thought patterns as well as behavior. And it’s not a matter of choice.
I’ll stop ranting now. I have a fascinating and well written story to finish marking up.
PaulW
Depression is a hell of a thing. It doesn’t go away. There’s no consistent medication for it, there’s no cure. You carry that weight as far as you can go. But goddammit, he’d gotten to 63 years with it, he made it that far, had family, had friends… Just one moment of falling tired from the fight, that’s all it takes… :(
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@PurpleGirl:
No kidding. I’ve gotten exactly one story written in all of 2014.
SatanicPanic
@SectarianSofa: I didn’t always find him tremendously funny, but he seemed like a nice dude, and more importantly, his movies were rarely angry or cynical (if they ever were). The world needs more people like that.
raven
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):
“Nobody (mostly) would dream of saying something like that to a cancer patient,”
Really? We have a friend who has been battling brain cancer for 3 years. She’s not going to get better yet we hang with her and try to be as encouraging as possible. You know what we really think? It’s time for her to go. Maybe we should just tell her that.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
One of the many low points of the NFL, IMneverHO,from last year
SiubhanDuinne
@MikeBoyScout:
I had seen him in a few things, liked him, didn’t know his work all that well, when one night in, probably, the early ’80s he was a guest on the old Tonight Show. He started riffing about anything and everything, totally manic, extremely edgy (for the time), and hysterically funny. I don’t remember one damn thing he said, but I do remember literally falling on the floor, clutching the carpet, sobbing with mirth. Jesus Hagedorn Christ but that man was genius.
Ruckus
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
I missed this part of Purple Girl’s comment the first time around. I agree 100% that a big part is losing motivation. It can seem so pointless.
Look how many here of this rather small group live with depression. I’m sure not everyone is willing to discuss it, but just the numbers of commenters or people close to them with depression is amazing. And for those of you who think this is about being depressed about a thing or an event, that is a symptom. What depression is about is being depressed about life. One in particular for sure but it is about life, not something in life.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@raven: What I’m trying to say is people acknowledge cancer as a medical disorder in a way that so many do not with brain disorders we call mental illness. You are not in that group, and you saw clinical depression up close.
But a disheartening number of people do not believe brain disorders are actually medical conditions. Surely people with them juts need to toughen up, or wait out the dark days.
As I mentioned, I’ve stared down dozens of murderers, many of whom were annoyed with me at the time. I’ll stack my tough up against most. But there have been days I wasn’t sure I had the stamina to last until the days got bright again. I believe David Foster Wallace – as an example – just ran out of stamina.
It’s easy to get worn out when a big part of the world thinks you should just get the fuck over it already. Would that it were that easy.
@raven: I think being encouraging with a terminally ill friend is a whole different ball of wax. I’m sure you’re great comfort to her with your companionship. But you have a point that she may be getting tired and need some permission from people she loves. I
raven
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Got it.
The thing I remember most about my ex was her being told that depression was anger turned inward.
SiubhanDuinne
@Southern Beale:
The title music to Garp was The Beatles’ “When I’m 64.”
Robin Williams only made it to 63.
raven
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): She took a cab to the local gun shop over a year ago. The owner called her family to come get her. We stay away from giving advice on how they are handling it, they have gone into another level of chemo so we’ll see. You do the best you can.
bluehill
With his energy and mental agility, I’m amazed he lasted this long. When he was in an interview and would start improvising, I would think it must be tiring to have your mind racing so fast. I wish I could do it, but I imagine there was a cost as well. He gave us all of him every time he performed. I hope he’s finally at peace. I don’t know why, but this quote from Shawshank came to mind
Red: [narrating] Sometimes it makes me sad, though… Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. But still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they’re gone. I guess I just miss my friend.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@raven: That’s a rather outdated explanation that goes back to classical psychoanalytic stuff. It’s medically understood to be brain based now, as opposed to the “mismanaged/inward focused anger” approach of the 70s and early 80s. Many survived anyway, and I’m glad the Vietnam Vet Mrs. Raven was among them.
I could be inventing the story that she said she was a Vietnam Vet for all the shit you put her through. If I did, I think it’s kind of clever. :)
raven
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Nope, she did. She married another one as well.
raven
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):
“It’s medically understood to be brain based”
Wait, you mean it wasn’t all my fault???
Hers was in the 90’s.
Mj_Oregon
My reaction to the news was sad resignation as I recognized and acknowledged his choice of not fighting the pain filled darkness any longer. Sometimes the weariness from that long battle becomes too heavy to carry for another day. So sad. We’ve lost too many recently.
“Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.” And his was. Thank you for the gifts you gave to so many.
BruinKid
What Dreams May Come. Absolutely stunning movie.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Yeah, I’ve gotten pretty good at focusing my anger outwards. Doesn’t make the depression any better even though I know I’m awesome.
SiubhanDuinne
@Charles Pierce:
Wait, Charles Pierce?
SiubhanDuinne
@Tokyokie:
It’s a staple of musical theatre. See Canio in Pagliacci, and Jack Point in The Yeomen of the Guard.
Gravenstone
@SiubhanDuinne: Yeah, he’s been known to pop by on occasion.
drkrick
@cermet:
If you were God or the devil, would you be in a hurry to see any of them?
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@efgoldman:
Thanks for the chuckle.
Mike in NC
@Villago Delenda Est: Dick Cheney is probably going to live to be 101 years old, which just proves there is no God.
LAC
@Elizabelle: me too. What a loss. Such a talented man.
Suicide is a painful death – I lost my brother 4 years ago and it just about broke our family. I am so sorry for his family.
SiubhanDuinne
@efgoldman:
He should. Definitely, he should.
Finally figured that out when I read all the way through to the final paragraph of last Friday’s “Out on the Weekend” post. Might help if I did that when he posts them instead of waiting three days and getting pissed because he’s not saying anything of a Monday.
GregB
I was just at a funeral for a comic friend yesterday. Died after taking I’ll with a rare disease while performing on a cruise ship. He was supposed to be married this weekend and I instead of vows his fiance gave a tribute. Now this with Robin Williams.
Sad days.
drkrick
@caring&sensitive: I wonder what you’ll do when you figure out you’re a big ol’ asshole. That was what you felt obliged to share at a time like this?
Morbo
Dammit.
Ruckus
@Mike in NC:
Exactly my thought. If there was a just god this pustule would be long gone. And if god is not a just god what is all that new testament stuff and his only begotten son about? And why bother? Now the devil on the other hand…. Would the devil want him to stay around and continue to cause grief or would he want to party with him?
Ruckus
@drkrick:
He might already know. And is just letting the rest of us in on it.
BruceFromOhio
Humor! Ar! Ar!
Even though you are gone, you live on.
Debbie(aussie)
F#ck! My favourite comedian of all time. I am sooooo sad.
Depression sucks big-time. Hubby(Ross) and I are both sufferers. Sometimes it is harder than anyone without this illness can comprehend. Medication keeps the worst at bay but….. Ross lost his job last year, after 27 years. Am very worried for him. While he had a job (not that he liked it much) he could manage to go. Now at age 55 am not sure what will happen.
SiubhanDuinne
My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—
It gives a lovely light!
–Edna St Vincent Millay
mayim
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
Yes. This. Forever and always :-(
Ruckus
@Debbie(aussie):
Best of luck for you both.
I found a job last year and after about a month my boss told me that he sort of figured I really needed the job more for me than for the money. He was right. I can’t work near as hard nor as much as I used to(65 yrs! Who’d have thought I’d get this far?) but that stability and acceptance is important. More than I realized.
Once again I wish you both well.
Debbie(aussie)
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
I am so sorry for your struggle, let me say that I very honestly feel your pain. I had to give up my job way back in 1998 because of chronic pain, then promptly had a nervous breakdown (had already been diagnosed with depression).
Debbie(aussie)
@Ruckus:
Thank you Ruckus, very much. This is a wonderful place to visit, whether commenting or not.
leeleeFL
@SiubhanDuinne: this poem helped make the loss of my Son survivable. He always seemed to be rushing somewhere I couldn’t understand.
Ruckus
@Debbie(aussie):
More than welcome.
Like you I get a lot out of this place. It’s like a big ole front porch that you sit on out of the sun and talk about everything. Things that make you happy, things that make you sad, things that make you mad, and just things in general.
Debbie(aussie)
@Ruckus:
That is a wonderful way to describe it, tho I would call it a veranda ?
Ruckus
@Debbie(aussie):
Same thing, different languages. You speak english and I speak a completely different thing.
SiubhanDuinne
@leeleeFL:
{{hug}}
I am so sorry about your loss. But yes, it is — if not a particularly comforting poem — at least a somewhat explanatory verse.
leeleeFL
@SiubhanDuinne: Thank you. Miss Millay knew a thing or two.t
Amir Khalid
Oh dear. I remember following Mork and Mindy all those years ago. Pam Dawber was a big crush for me, but he was the funniest thing ever that I’d seen on TV. Damn. Rest n peace, Robin Williams.
_PK_
I think it best to enjoy his comedy. For those who golf, here is Williams take on the games origins.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDQd49rEF_0
Marvin
Sad.
Matt McIrvin
@bluehill: That was my first thought as well, that I’m kind of surprised he made it to 63. People like Robin Williams tend to burn out, often much earlier than this.
I lost an old childhood friend to suicide several years ago, and the hell of it was that everyone knew it was a possibility, and he was getting treatment for depression. But the guy was determined; he had a plan, which he concocted even while he was getting the therapy, and he carried it out in the thorough way that he did everything. Left a family behind.
Gemina13
Bipolar disorder, huh? Wonderful. Such a lovely disease that makes you feel like you’re loathsome and an utter failure at life. And I saw several commenters (again, on Facebook) say things like, “What a selfish thing for him to do” and “He had so much to live for.” Fucking right, he did, but bipolar disorder didn’t give a damn about that – it’s a fucking mental illness. And you do not have the right to call someone in that much mental pain selfish. We’re not talking about a toddler throwing a fit over not getting a cookie before dinner. We’re talking about people who are convinced, and in agony because of it, that they are worthless, and would better serve their friends and families by killing themselves.
I know many here understand how it feels when you’ve been hearing the voice in your head for too long, that dark little monotone that asks you why you even bother anymore. Who cares? Why is anything you do so special? It’s just pathetic, that’s all. Stupid you, thinking you’ll amount to anything. You’re buried in debt and regressing in your career, people just tolerate you and laugh at you behind your back, and your dreams are all delusions. You’re an abject failure, surrounded by smarter, more successful people. Why hang around? Kill yourself. You’ll never have to worry about this ever again. And for most of us, we snap back to reality after a few minutes, or a few days, floating in this despair: hey, wait, I don’t want to die, I just want this to stop. I need it all to stop hurting me, and just go away. And then you’ve got the ones who hear the little voice, nod in agreement, and reach for the gun, the plastic bag, or the bottle of pills.
That’s not selfishness. That’s utter despair. I hope the people who confuse the two never have to see what the real difference is.
(And my favorite films with Williams were Aladdin, What Dreams May Come, and Awakenings–although I’m going to see One Hour Photo as soon as I can find the DVD. Right now, there’s a meme going around that quotes from Aladdin – “Genie, you’re free” – that makes me sob each time I see it. Dammit, Internet.)
Matt McIrvin
One Hour Photo is brilliant. I don’t like many of Williams’ “serious” films; they’re usually these mawkish things. But he made that one at a time when he seemed to be seeking out more challenging material, and it’s downright unsettling, largely because of his performance.
Also: Popeye. How the hell somebody greenlit a Popeye the Sailor Man movie directed by Robert Altman, I’ll never know, and the whole thing is a weird, floppy mess that tanked and became a laughingstock (not in a good way); the main fascination of it is that it even got made. But Robin Williams physically throws himself into the part and gives 1000%. It’s kind of a cult movie now.
Matt McIrvin
…And I recently saw the Gilliam Baron Munchhausen again; Williams’ little bit in it is more disturbing-funny than I remembered.
Elizabelle
@LAC:
So sorry to hear of your brother. Would not imagine a family every actually gets over a loss like that.
Thunderbird
@Gemina13: THIS. A thousand times this. I had to log off my Facebook after seeing too many of the “Why so selfish?” comments about it.
PaulW
Hyperbole and a Half once published the best description of depression I’ve ever read.
PaulW
The first real time I saw Robin Williams act was his brief appearance in Dead Again, a half-baked supernatural attempt at Hitchcock thriller. He played a creepy ex-psychiatrist who gets consulted by Kenneth Branagh’s detective. He toned down a lot of the manic tics in his comedic performances from earlier, played the guy relatively straight, and was one of the best performances in the movie. And this was with a bunch of Shakespearean-trained performers surrounding him.
Jamey
Bon Voyage, Mime Jerry.
Joey Giraud
The reason people are frustrated with seriously depressed people is because we all struggle with the same kind of feelings that depressed people do, but the depressed people claim impotence in that struggle.
And how can we really know that they have no ability? We can’t. Is depression a brain glitch or a choice? I don’t know, and I doubt the depressed person can really know either. I only know that as long as you’re certain you can do nothing, there’s nothing to be done.
I have a close friend who’s been depressed for decades, and just sitting and quietly listening to his interminable depressed monologue is a huge burden on my own soul. But trying to be helpful is useless too, and only annoys him.
Look at all the lonely people.
CONGRATULATIONS!
Depression is a motherfucker.
As to yesterday’s most high profile casualty of the disease, I gotta confess – never liked him. His bullshit shuck n’ jive manic act was just that – an act. Helped by copious amounts of cocaine. Williams gave me the fucking creeps. What he was projecting on the outside was so wildly at variance with what you’d occasionally glimpse from the inside that it scared me. A guy who can consciously live a lie like he did is a guy who can do anything…and you’d never know. I would never have consented to be in a room alone with the guy.
At any rate, I hope he finally found some peace.
@Joey Giraud: If that’s the case (and it’s not) then what’s the fucking difference? The victim is just as crippled either way.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@Joey Giraud:
Emphasis added
Trust me; you do not. Congratulations on being part of the fucking problem.. are you frustrated with people who have heart attacks because you get chest pains yet they claim they can’t control theirs? Because the functioning of a depressed person’s brain is just as disordered as that of the heart of someone with cardiac disease. Sure it looks different because the organs are different. Depression is no more a matter of will (or lack thereof) than cardiac or kidney or liver disease.
LAC
@Elizabelle: thank you. My mother is a different person. She is still sweet but muted in her joy of life. We are still trying figure out (fruitlessly) why he did it and a day doesn’t go by that I do not think about him. But with a lot of planning, we have managed to get my folks moved closer to us,rather than be in St. Louis. This way, they are near grandchildren and family. I think it will improve things and I see two happier people. Worth the time and expense.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@LAC: I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you the move will make it less agonizing for your parents.
Joey Giraud
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):
But why should I trust you? Because you say so? I should accept your assertion that your feelings are unique?
Depression isn’t something with a clear physical cause like heart attacks are. Bad analogy.
Almost everyone gets “depressed” at times, and many non-depressed people also experience despair at fundamental existential loneliness and the futility of life.
Why has every self-described depressed person I’ve ever known also been narcissistic as all get up?
I’m not out to blame depressed people for their feelings or lack thereof, only to point out that for those of us who know and care about depressed people, it’s mighty damn hard too. And that it’s almost impossible to suppress the nagging feeling that your depressed friend is simply weak and selfish.
And that’s a reality that depressed people have to live with. Depressing, I know.
LAC
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): thank you for your kind words. :-)
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@Joey Giraud:
Several Departments of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neuroscience beg to differ with you.
That’s not what clinical depression is. It’s a physical condition. Clinical depression is not about being sad or lonely, even existentially so.
That it may be, but it doesn’t make your feeling accurate. I’m not going to change your mind, clearly. But I’m not going to stop disagreeing with you just because you call me names.
Matt McIrvin
@Joey Giraud:
Severe depression just makes some people incredibly self-absorbed. When they’re in that hole, they can’t help it.
It’s part of what makes it so soul-sucking to be the person who sits there and listens. I’ve done it because I had to. But after a while you do have to unplug for the sake of your own mental health, kind of like making sure your own oxygen mask is secure.
Joey Giraud
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):
Hand waving appeals to unnamed lab coats aren’t very convincing.
Especially when so much neurological “research” these days is MRI results from small sample sizes with very small correlations.
Another way to put it: if science can demonstrate a clear brain dysfunction that clearly correlates to self-described depression, then why isn’t there a definitive test?
“It’s a physical condition” because you say so. Because others say so.
And I don’t know that it’s not.
I’m just saying that in any particular case it’s impossible to know ( without that definitive test, ) whether someone’s self-described depression is a curse or choice.
Would you accept anyone’s claim? I bet you wouldn’t. I bet there would be someone out there who claimed depression that would trigger your BS detector.
Oh, and hiphop,, I didn’t call you any names at all. A hypersensitivity to perceived insults is a mark of narcissism as well as depression.
And I’m sorry you feel depressed. But my points aren’t meant for you, they’re meant for anyone else who cares about a depressed person and who has similar feelings. It’s to help them, let them know those feelings aren’t strange. They’re not bad people for wanting to avoid exposure to the depressed person, or feeling less then happy about seeing them.
And it’s not a bad thing to try to cheer up depressed people, it’s just not effective or helpful.
Joey Giraud
@Matt McIrvin:
Yeah, that makes complete sense.
Narcissism being a symptom, not a cause. It’s an inability ( or unwillingness in different circumstances ) to connect, relate, empathize.
It takes some head space to connect, relate, empathize.
I mean, I would very much like to believe my friend has no control over his depression, but the nagging feeling that he could help himself if he wanted to enough, and that somehow he’s “happier” wallowing in self-pity ( and haven’t we all enjoyed a bit of self-pity at times? )..
Well that feeling is very hard to ignore, it just won’t go away.
Sorry, depressed buddy, I can’t join you, I can’t help you, I can’t save you, and I certainly can’t, as you remind me every time I see you, understand you.
What’s left other then to listen for hours and feel bummed for days afterward?
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@Joey Giraud: Actually, I’m not feeling depressed, though I appreciate the thought. And I’m not disagreeing with the notion that it’s a kind of torture to spend time with someone who’s depressed. Nor do I fail to understand that nagging feeling that if they just tried harder…
None of which makes depression (unipolar or bipolar) less of a physical medical illness. I understand I will not change your mind. I am biased by spending time at grand rounds of a med school psych department, and I freely admit that bias. At the last didactic I gave to 4th year psych residents, a patient of one of those young docs had suicided the day before. The doc really didn’t think the patient was full of self pity; he thought the patient was medically ill – terminally so as it turned out.
We’re going to disagree on the topic.
Joey Giraud
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):
Seems so.
I do dig that being professionally embedded in that area of study can give one a strong sense of certainty, a certainty that’s undeserved from my point of view.
Psychological conclusions based on MRI studies seem quite presumptuous to me. Rather like making confident predictions about social structures based on Google Earth.
I’m quite skeptical, for example, of the confident assertions that we understand the physical mechanism underlying ADD.
Still, it’s the best tool we have at this time. IMO, brain research is about at the same stage as avionics was at the time of DaVinci.
Matt McIrvin
@Joey Giraud: What it really is, is palliative care for a chronically ill person. And it’s probably doing some good, even if you don’t see them getting any better, if only in keeping the person from sinking dangerously lower.
But I know, it’s tough especially when they lash out at you for not giving more, when you feel like you’re already at your own emotional limit.
Joey Giraud
@Matt McIrvin:
Yeah. My buddy recently gave me a lecture on exactly what kind of support he needed from me to be a good friend, and it was about as demanding as you can imagine.
If I really thought that his depression was a choice or a wallowing in self-pity I would have dropped him years ago. I’m a loyal guy, but everyone has limits. So I suppose it’s because I do believe him.
LanceThruster
Talented man with a lot of inner pain and personal demons. Everyone is entitled to check out when they choose; to literally be the captain of their own ship. Still, he will be missed and leaves behind a lot of pain in his passing.
“O Brothers of sad lives! they are so brief;
A few short years must bring us all relief:
Can we not bear these years of laboring breath?
But if you would not this poor life fulfil,
Lo, you are free to end it when you will,
Without the fear of waking after death.”
The City of Dreadful Night by James Thomson
james
Having suffered for years with Major Depression, I know intimately how Robin Williams felt. Unless you have had this illnesses, you will never understand the dark thoughts that flow like water over a falls in one’s mind. I was treated with every type of antidepressant available, with no relief. This only lead to me feeling more useless, thinking I could never be normal again. As a last resort, I agreed to try electro Convulsive Therapy In short, it saved my life! Unfortunately, many people’s that were my friends before the treatment including family ran for the hills afterwards thinking I was now some form of a Zombie! Such a shame that in this open and enlighten world today, Mental illness is still stigmatized. And when one is successful in their treatment, they are still stigmatized! I only hope and pray that Robin’s pubic death will somehow start a paradigm shift in the majority of people’s thinking, and except that Mental illness is no different that someone with Cancer, or heart disease! It just happens to affect the brain. I am certain that Robin is now in a better place, and making god laugh!