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You are here: Home / Music / Step into Christmas

Step into Christmas

by DougJ|  December 16, 201410:14 am| 206 Comments

This post is in: Music, Open Threads

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I know a lot of people complain about Christmas songs, which just goes to prove the age old maxim that haters gonna hate.

So I’ll be doing several Christmas song-related threads over the next week.

First off, best Christmas song ever and worst Christmas song ever. This is among those that you can hear on the radio sometimes.

Best: “Sleigh Ride” by the Ronettes. No contest, right? The “Be My Baby” of Christmas songs.

A few weeks ago I tweeted this but no one could tell it was a joke — emoji sad face.

Fun movie fact: The Ronettes' "Be My Baby" plays in every Martin Scorsese movie, including "Age of Enlightenment" and "Gangs of New York"

— BuzzfeedDoug (@DougJBalloon) November 30, 2014

Worst: Tie between “Carol of the Bells” as performed by Tran-Siberian Orchestra and “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney.

My sister used to do tech support for a company that had one particularly annoying and difficult customer. He turned out to be a teen-ager who maintained a blog where he talked about his love for Tran-Siberian Orchestra and how his parents just couldn’t understand it.

How about a couple more categories:

Best recent (last 20 years) new Christmas song that got radio play: “Go Where I Send Thee” done by Natalie Merchant.

Surprising Christmas song fact: The Killers do a Christmas song every year.

Best song you think of as a Christmas song that isn’t really a Christmas song: “Caravan” by Van Morrison.

What are your best and worst in these categories and whatever other categories you want to make up.

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Reader Interactions

206Comments

  1. 1.

    Botsplainer

    December 16, 2014 at 10:17 am

    Love the seasonal Jethro Tull tunes – Ring Out Solstice Bells and A Christmas Song are outstanding

  2. 2.

    boatboy_srq

    December 16, 2014 at 10:17 am

    Best: “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” done by Cocteau Twins (Elizabeth Fraser has the most amazing voice).
    Worst: the McCartney tune you mentioned.

    Honorable Mention: “Christmas Every Year” by Frazier Chorus.

  3. 3.

    Suzanne

    December 16, 2014 at 10:17 am

    Best: “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah, though “Joseph, Who Understood” by the New Pornographers is climbing my list

    Worst: “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” by anybody

  4. 4.

    DougJ

    December 16, 2014 at 10:18 am

    @Suzanne:

    I like that Mariah song.

  5. 5.

    eyelessgame

    December 16, 2014 at 10:18 am

    Meh, I always find myself thinking “date rape” when I hear “Baby It’s Cold Outside”. And Patton Oswalt has me convinced “Christmas Shoes” is awful beyond belief.

    I sorta *like* TSO’s instrumental music (probably because I have teens with some sap in them), or at least I would if it had a touch of subtlety or depth. I like what they’re trying to do (elf-stomping music is fine by me); I just wish they did it a tiny bit better.

    Best Christmas song: the video by Straight No Chaser of Twelve Days of Christmas.

  6. 6.

    Petorado

    December 16, 2014 at 10:20 am

    Amazed Bob Dylan’s “It Must Be Santa” doesn’t get more play. It’s a fun diversion from the same old same old.

  7. 7.

    greennotGreen

    December 16, 2014 at 10:20 am

    Nope, TSO isn’t the worst. The worst is anything played electronically on those crappy little speakers that come with musical Xmas decorations – ESPECIALLY in a department store.

  8. 8.

    Suzanne

    December 16, 2014 at 10:20 am

    Oh, and best song that isn’t a Christmas song: “Valley Winter Song” by Fountains of Wayne

  9. 9.

    Steppan

    December 16, 2014 at 10:22 am

    The Vince Guaraldi Trio’s Charlie Brown Christmas album is the best seasonal music ever.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AZAo3Ia7DE

  10. 10.

    Boudica

    December 16, 2014 at 10:23 am

    I always like Baby it’s cold outside but the line about “what’s in this drink?” creeps me out now.

  11. 11.

    Suzanne

    December 16, 2014 at 10:23 am

    Best recent -ish song that got radio play: Oi to the World, by the Vandals

  12. 12.

    Michael Bersin

    December 16, 2014 at 10:24 am

    Several years ago I played a number of slickly produced orchestra holiday gigs. One of the staples of that type of entertainment is “Sleigh Ride” (the Leroy Anderson original for orchestra). That season I believe I performed the piece close to 25 times. After the last show we packed up the vehicle for the long drive to visit family for the holidays. As we pulled out of the driveway we turned on the car radio. “Sleigh Ride” was on. Click. We drove the rest of the nine hour trip in silence.

  13. 13.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    December 16, 2014 at 10:25 am

    Best: “Sleigh Ride” by the Ronettes. No contest, right?

    No. You’re wrong. You’re all wrong. The best rock’n’roll Christmas song is Darlene Love’s “Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)”

    Honorable mention to Chrissie Hynde’s recent collaboration’s “It’ll be Christmas Soon“, cause it opens with the lines “You told me I was nothin’, no good and a bum, and I told you sound just like your mom, cause I know that you hate it, when I say that”

    The mention of Age of Innocence brought me up short, but I would’ve believed Gangs of New York

  14. 14.

    Seanly

    December 16, 2014 at 10:26 am

    My wife & I seem to always live in areas where TSO is a big thing – Harrisburg, PA then Columbia, SC, now Boise, ID. Okay, maybe not Columbia as much as the other two. My wife absolutely hates their sound and was actually thinking of unfriending some Boise friends who were posting about how much they were looking forward to rocking out with TSO. While I too don’t care for their warmed over early 80’s rock sound, I was able to talk her off the ledge about unfriending people based on their terrible taste in music.

    My favorite has to be “Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses. However, I also partial to many of the classical carols.

  15. 15.

    Randy Khan

    December 16, 2014 at 10:27 am

    The version of “The Little Drummer Boy” on the first Very Special Christmas album (Bob Seger was the singer) has to be in contention for worst ever, along with every other version of that song ever sung. It seems like the song will never, ever end.

  16. 16.

    Tsukune

    December 16, 2014 at 10:27 am

    Obligatory XKCD strip:

    Worst Christmas song: “Dominick the Donkey”

    I do enjoy Straight No Chaser’s versions of some classics.

  17. 17.

    boatboy_srq

    December 16, 2014 at 10:28 am

    @eyelessgame: @Boudica: it’s 2014, and suddenly when I hear that one all that comes to mind is Cosby (or Savile) and GHB.

  18. 18.

    Porco Rosso

    December 16, 2014 at 10:28 am

    Sometimes I just chill out with the Xmas surf music.

  19. 19.

    Debbie(aussie)

    December 16, 2014 at 10:29 am

    I like the Michael Buble version of Grown Up Christmas List.

  20. 20.

    boatboy_srq

    December 16, 2014 at 10:30 am

    @Tsukune: The “tradition is anything that happened to a baby boomer twice” bit there is priceless.

  21. 21.

    Porco Rosso

    December 16, 2014 at 10:30 am

    Best pop Xmas song: Father Christmas by the Kinks.

    Most Offensive: My First Christmas as a Woman by the Vandals

  22. 22.

    Mustang Bobby

    December 16, 2014 at 10:30 am

    The Roches do a Noo Yawk-accent version of “Winter Wonderland” that cracks me up. That’s fairly recent, I think.

    If I ever hear “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” again, I’m gonna throw a shoe.

    For the classical side, Gustav Holst did an arrangement of carols called “Christmas Day” that harkens me back to Christmas as a kid and the music coming out of the old Magnavox in our parlor as we put up the tree. Full tilt Currier & Ives, bitches.

  23. 23.

    dedc79

    December 16, 2014 at 10:31 am

    I think this fits multiple categories:

    Okkervil River — Listening to Otis Redding at Home During Christmas

  24. 24.

    Suzanne

    December 16, 2014 at 10:33 am

    Also a big fan of “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues with Kirsty MacColl.

  25. 25.

    Linnaeus

    December 16, 2014 at 10:34 am

    I will second The Waitresses’ “Christmas Wrapping”.

  26. 26.

    debbie

    December 16, 2014 at 10:34 am

    Weezer, “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eihoE8pl4kE

    ETA: Actually, the entire EP is great: http://www.amazon.com/Christmas-With-Weezer/dp/B001NBIME6

  27. 27.

    Linnaeus

    December 16, 2014 at 10:35 am

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Speaking of Chrissie Hynde, her song “2000 Miles” is a very good Christmas song.

  28. 28.

    KG

    December 16, 2014 at 10:35 am

    Run Run Rudolph and Mele Kalikimaka are my personal favorites

  29. 29.

    Seanly

    December 16, 2014 at 10:36 am

    Of course, there is also The Pogue’s “Fairytale of New York” for best Christmas song. The late Kirsty MacColl’s fans keep it in the top of the UK Xmas charts every year. She was literally killed by a 1%er.

    One of the things I love most about the song is how it catches the failure of the American Dream.

  30. 30.

    Amir Khalid

    December 16, 2014 at 10:36 am

    One of my favourite YouTube videos for Christmas is a performance of Stille Nacht by the Dresdner Dom choir and congregation from 2006. (You know, the one where the soloist looks like Harry Potter.) But I also like Weird Al’s Christmas at Ground Zero and Spinal Tap’s Christmas With The Devil.

  31. 31.

    Bruuuuce

    December 16, 2014 at 10:37 am

    Best Christmas song that receives no airplay: “Christmas in the Trenches” by John McCutcheon.
    Best song that hits the air: I still like “Christmas Rapping” by the Waitresses.

    Worst Christmas song: Tie between “Grandma Got Run Over…” and “Dominick the Donkey”

    Best Seasonal Music Group: Bellowhead or Belshazzar’s Feast, whichever group Paul Sartin has active in any given Christmas season. This year it looks like both are active; BBC4 had Bellowhead on its Four Sessions, and Belshazzar’s Feast is out on the road this coming week. Here’s that Four Sessions show, which has a whole bunch of wonderful old-fashioned Christmas music and terrific performers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWAsUuXws_Y

  32. 32.

    Karen in GA

    December 16, 2014 at 10:37 am

    @Steppan: Beat me to it.

  33. 33.

    Iowa Old Lady

    December 16, 2014 at 10:38 am

    @Porco Rosso: I totally misread this as Christmas smurf music.

  34. 34.

    Porco Rosso

    December 16, 2014 at 10:39 am

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-Zu95cHK2U Over the Rhine’s Darlin’ Christmas is Coming

  35. 35.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    December 16, 2014 at 10:39 am

    @Linnaeus: I was gonna put it in for best song of the last twenty years, which led to a depressing realization and I had to go find my rheumatism medicine.

    another vote for the Waitresses’ Christmas Wrapping, especially as Christmas By Myself This Year is starting to sound pretty good. Not really. Just a little.

  36. 36.

    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)

    December 16, 2014 at 10:40 am

    Best Album

    A Cup of Kindness Yet

    https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLF4J6CpdUFYzylXZyNbixU1cVqu6zosQG

  37. 37.

    Penus

    December 16, 2014 at 10:40 am

    Otis Redding – Merry Christmas Baby. The creme de la creme.

  38. 38.

    Elizabelle

    December 16, 2014 at 10:42 am

    Got to insert an automated singing bear into this thread. It’s facing a noise nuisance complaint in Britain.

    One of its songs is Andy Williams’ “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”, which we learned yesterday irks several Balloon Juicers.

    Shefford cafe’s singing polar bear probed over noise

    A six-foot mechanical polar bear that dances and sings Christmas carols is being investigated after a council received a noise complaint.

    Also, might headline writers be more careful with the word “probe” after the CIA torture revelations?

    I had quite a different take on what was happening to this miscreant holiday bear.

  39. 39.

    Cervantes

    December 16, 2014 at 10:42 am

    “Little Drummer Boy” was originally conceived as a song for a girl with a drum. A few years ago in a Nashville hotel lobby, I saw it done by Jars of Clay — a beautiful, and heart-felt, performance.

  40. 40.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 16, 2014 at 10:42 am

    Worst: Tie between “Carol of the Bells” as performed by Tran-Siberian Orchestra and “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney.

    Never heard the former.

    Agree 100% with the latter.

    How is it possible that the man who gave us (along with the late great John Lennon, of course) “Something”, “Michelle”, “Lady Madonna” could come up with such utter crap?

  41. 41.

    coin operated

    December 16, 2014 at 10:43 am

    @Linnaeus:
    Beat me to it. Chrissie Hynde makes that song work and has to be my favorite ‘new’ Christmas classic.

    Second favorite is a version of “Carol of the Bells” by George Winston.

  42. 42.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 16, 2014 at 10:44 am

    @Mustang Bobby: I love “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”.

    Your mileage obviously varies :P

  43. 43.

    JPL

    December 16, 2014 at 10:44 am

    For a few years, I did merchandising for a large retail store. I so wanted that Frosty snowman, to melt. I could tune out the other songs but not that one.
    I do like the Holly and the Ivy by Clare college choir.

  44. 44.

    smintheus

    December 16, 2014 at 10:45 am

    Eartha Kitt, Santa Baby

  45. 45.

    Alex S.

    December 16, 2014 at 10:45 am

    Yes, to the Paul McCartney song, just horrible. I have to confess that I also like the Mariah Carey song very much.

  46. 46.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 16, 2014 at 10:46 am

    @Randy Khan: Yes, I loathe “The Little Drummer Boy”, regardless of version, with the heat of 10,000,000 candles.

  47. 47.

    Rosalita

    December 16, 2014 at 10:46 am

    Cannot stand those fucking dogs barking Jingle Bells, nor Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah song.

    Personal favorites or Bruce’s Santa Claus is Coming to Town and Harry Connick’s whole first Christmas CD.

  48. 48.

    Amir Khalid

    December 16, 2014 at 10:46 am

    I know there are people here who don’t care for Happy Xmas (War is Over). I wonder why.

  49. 49.

    scottinnj

    December 16, 2014 at 10:47 am

    Best – of course, it’s “Christmas with the Devil” by Spinal Tap, especially when turned up to 11.

    More seriously Fiona Apple’s version of Frosty the Snowman is a great (maybe best – though that is a low bar perhaps) version of that song.

    A more interesting choice would actually be what is the second worse since I think “Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” by Sir Paul is hands down the worst (I’ll concede that when you line that up to Hey Jude it’s a wash, lucky for him).

    My vote for 2nd worst is “Do they know it’s Christmas”. It’s incredibly condescending, as a parade of rich, white British musicians over-sing in an effort to make themselves feel better about snorting coke and drinking wine while people on the other side of the world starve to death. “There won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas,” Words fail, wankers.

  50. 50.

    Amir Khalid

    December 16, 2014 at 10:47 am

    I have a comment in moderation for no apparent reason. Please to set it free?

  51. 51.

    Elizabelle

    December 16, 2014 at 10:48 am

    Yeah, The Killers did a Christmas in Fallujah song that was pretty good a few years ago.

    Did not realize they had a tradition of releasing a Christmas song. Cool.

  52. 52.

    coin operated

    December 16, 2014 at 10:50 am

    @scottinnj:

    My vote for 2nd worst is “Do they know it’s Christmas”. It’s incredibly condescending, as a parade of rich, white British musicians over-sing in an effort to make themselves feel better about snorting coke and drinking wine while people on the other side of the world starve to death. “There won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas,” Words fail, wankers.

    I hadn’t gotten to my worst song yet…but this nails it.

  53. 53.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 16, 2014 at 10:51 am

    @scottinnj: What was just as bad was “We are the World”, the US response to that, because we have to jump on the fucking bandwagon.

    Led by the “King of Pop” no less.

  54. 54.

    Keith P

    December 16, 2014 at 10:51 am

    It’s not Xmas per se, but I despise the Hanukkah Song. Thanksgiving Song is worse but both make morning radio even worse than usual.

  55. 55.

    Bobby Thomson

    December 16, 2014 at 10:52 am

    I like TSO. And the worst is a tie between Springsteen’s Santa Claus is coming to town and that Band Aid atrocity.

  56. 56.

    Booger

    December 16, 2014 at 10:52 am

    Best: 1. Fairy Tale of New York, possibly the only Christmas song with scumbag and maggot lyrics;
    2. Fleming & John’s Winter Wonderland/Misty Mountain Hop.
    Worst: That Mariah Carey monstrosity (which would be a great band name)

  57. 57.

    Jeffrey Timm

    December 16, 2014 at 10:52 am

    The best Christmas song ever if the Pogues “Fairytale of New York” with Kirsty MacColl.

  58. 58.

    japa21

    December 16, 2014 at 10:52 am

    Two of my favorites, though seldom heard, are Sinatra’s rendition of “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day” and Judy Collins “The Cherry Tree”.

  59. 59.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    December 16, 2014 at 10:52 am

    Jim Nabors’ Go Tell It on the Mountain is still a favorite here. One of the first songs I tried to transcribe.

    @Randy Khan:

    The version of “The Little Drummer Boy” on the first Very Special Christmas album (Bob Seger was the singer) has to be in contention for worst ever, along with every other version of that song ever sung.

    Even the Jingle Cats’ version? With purrs as the drum line?

  60. 60.

    Suzanne

    December 16, 2014 at 10:56 am

    I have to say that I think Lennon’s “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” might be my favorite of all time.

  61. 61.

    Porco Rosso

    December 16, 2014 at 10:56 am

    Have the Rolling Stones done a Christmas song (apart from Dead Flowers?)

  62. 62.

    AliceBlue

    December 16, 2014 at 10:56 am

    Best: “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight) by the Ramones.

    Worst: “Little Drummer Boy” by the Harry Simeone Chorale and any version of Frosty the Snowman.

  63. 63.

    cmorenc

    December 16, 2014 at 10:57 am

    One of the best Christmas songs is “Christmas Time’s A-Coming” as done by Emmy Lou Harris, or also by Ricky Skaggs and Family – to me, it evokes the delightful anticipation people feel when they’re coming home from far away to be with family they like at a familiar place they grew up. Unfortunately, the Emmy Lou Harris “video” is not a live performance, just the music – but the Skaggs performance is live, with Skaggs looking longhair hippie-ish as he’s getting older, and surrounded by a wonderfully talented family who are all good singers and musicians.

  64. 64.

    Big ole hound

    December 16, 2014 at 10:59 am

    Best song. “Go Tell It On the Mountain”. I like the Harry Bellafonte’s version the best.
    Worst song. anything with Chipmonks in the title.

  65. 65.

    HR Progressive

    December 16, 2014 at 11:00 am

    I’m sorry, I can no longer take you seriously after shitting on the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.

  66. 66.

    Matt McIrvin

    December 16, 2014 at 11:00 am

    There are lots of horrible Christmas songs, but “Simply Having…” actually gets under my skin worse than the ones that are actively trying to be horrible, like “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer,” I think just from its obsessive repetitiveness. It gets the bonus bad points for anything horrible done by Paul McCartney, because you know he’s been capable of better.

    Anderson’s “Sleigh Ride” is the traditional closer whenever Samantha’s concert band does a Christmas concert; it’s basically the winter counterpart of “The Stars And Stripes Forever.” I think Sam can play the French horn parts in her sleep by now.

  67. 67.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    December 16, 2014 at 11:01 am

    I believe in Father Christmas – Greg Lake is my absolute favorite Christmas Song ever.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXCEdrnaFlY

  68. 68.

    Belafon

    December 16, 2014 at 11:01 am

    Best Christmas songs: Those I will listen to.
    Worst Christmas songs: Those I won’t listen to.

    This is sort of like talking about everyone’s favorite function to take derivatives of (personally, I like e^x).

  69. 69.

    japa21

    December 16, 2014 at 11:02 am

    As far as songs you wouldn’t consider a Christmas song, I have heard “Somewhere over the Rainbow” on a couple albums. Have no idea why it would be included.

  70. 70.

    Amir Khalid

    December 16, 2014 at 11:04 am

    @Suzanne:
    I tried to link to a YouTube video of it and wound up moderatered.

  71. 71.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 16, 2014 at 11:05 am

    @Suzanne: Yup, I really like that one.

  72. 72.

    Amir Khalid

    December 16, 2014 at 11:06 am

    Is there a bleaker song about Christmas than Merle Haggard’s If We Make It Through December?

  73. 73.

    Mnemosyne (iPad Mini)

    December 16, 2014 at 11:06 am

    I have a series of CDs called Maybe This Christmas that have some great modern Christmas songs on them, including the title track (sung by Rufus Wainwright) and “Sweet Secret Peace” by Neil Finn.

    I have a hard time listening to Mannheim Steamroller’s Christmas album now even though it was a family tradition because it was what my dad wanted to listen to on his last Christmas (2012). We all knew it was his last Christmas but none of us wanted to admit it.

    Poe has the best version of “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” — it’s very low-key and coffeehouse.

  74. 74.

    Suzanne

    December 16, 2014 at 11:07 am

    Favorite carol: “Still, Still, Still”

  75. 75.

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    December 16, 2014 at 11:08 am

    The last retail job I worked – 13 years ago and counting, thank you Jeebus – I took the Christmas CD that had played from Halloween to New Year’s Eve, open through close, to my local gun range, invited all my co-workers to come out for a New Year’s Day shooting party, and we all put 9mm rounds through it and its case until little pieces of CD dust started to fall out.

    There are just some times in life where you need a gun. Nothing else will do.

  76. 76.

    SatanicPanic

    December 16, 2014 at 11:08 am

    @Randy Khan: Joan Jett included that on the I Love Rock and Roll album. that never ever made sense to me. What a strange inclusion. And it was terrible too. Every version of that song sucks.

  77. 77.

    JohnB

    December 16, 2014 at 11:09 am

    My favorites this year are John Prine’s Silent Night, All Day Long and Robert Earl Keene’s Merry Christmas from the Family.

    The worst, by far, is Christmas Shoes.

  78. 78.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 16, 2014 at 11:10 am

    I’d really like for someone to come up with “God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs” which is mentioned in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

    Gary Oldman can sing it!

  79. 79.

    donnah

    December 16, 2014 at 11:10 am

    Emerson, Lake, and Palmer’s “Father Christmas” is awesome.

    Also, Mahalia Jackson’s version of “O Holy Night” sends shivers down my spine, it’s so beautiful.

  80. 80.

    SatanicPanic

    December 16, 2014 at 11:11 am

    Best- Beach Boys Christmas Album, that Mariah Carey song (shut up!) and that Slade song is pretty good

    Worst- almost everything else

  81. 81.

    scav

    December 16, 2014 at 11:11 am

    For a break from the saccharine, a solid hit of some wassails can help while not breaking seasonal constraints (wondering around demanding drink and foodstuffs in a feast of fools inversion has its appeal. Gower Wassail from Steeleye Span will do, or maybe the Holy and the Ivy although it’s less Wassailly). It’s not Christmas without Joany Bzz on Noel especially Down in Yon Forest – well that and for my current new favorite: John Finnemore’s Get Dressed You Merry Gentlemen (that whole Molokai episode is right up there surplanting Dickens). Baby It’s Cold Outside was creepy even without the current overlay.

  82. 82.

    Bex

    December 16, 2014 at 11:11 am

    Hands down worst ever: I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas. Won’t ever link.

  83. 83.

    Betty Cracker

    December 16, 2014 at 11:11 am

    My favorite Christmas song: Merry Christmas from the Family, Robert Earl Keene. I’ll subject y’all to it as a front page post before the year is out.

  84. 84.

    Matt McIrvin

    December 16, 2014 at 11:12 am

    My parents had some Sixties Christmas pop compilation LP that they’d haul out and play on the big old console stereo every year. The bits that are burned into my brain most thoroughly are Maurice Chevalier doing “Jolly Old St. Nicholas” (“Zhonny… wants… a… pairrhofsketts”) and Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme’s “Sleigh Ride,” in which Eydie provides harmony by singing “SLEIGH ride!!! SLEIGH ride!!!” all through the verses.

    Utter, unapologetic cheese, but I had a lot of affection for it.

  85. 85.

    NCSteve

    December 16, 2014 at 11:12 am

    I’m sorry, but you’re all wrong and should be forced to eat cheap nuclear gummy fruit and petroleum industrial fruitcake for your foolishness.

    The best Christmas song is a tie between “The Christmas Song” sung by (and only) Nat and the last movement of Beethoven’s Ninth. The latter fails to win outright because it was appropriated by the holiday rather than being written for it.

    As a child of the 80s, I do still have a soft spot for that song by the Waitresses as well.

    Yes, all overplayed, but it’s Christmas FFS, so get over it because so it goes.

    The worst Christmas songs in the history of recording are, naturally, Country songs: the thankfully rarely played “An Old Christmas Card” by Jim Reeves and the regrettably often played vile yet ear-wormy “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.”

  86. 86.

    Bruuuuce

    December 16, 2014 at 11:13 am

    @Amir Khalid: Stan Rogers’ “First Christmas”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3siaBOJIA8M

  87. 87.

    srv

    December 16, 2014 at 11:13 am

    It’s Jeb-mentum-mas!

    Jeb Bush announced this morning that he will “actively explore the possibility of running for president of the United States.”

    Bush, 61, said he made the decision over the Thanksgiving holiday in consultation with his family.

    “As a result of these conversations and thoughtful consideration of the kind of strong leadership I think America needs, I have decided to actively explore the possibility of running for President of the United States,” he said in a message posted on Facebook today.

    The early Christmas you people have been waiting for.

    What songs will you sing for Jeb?

  88. 88.

    Mnemosyne (iPad Mini)

    December 16, 2014 at 11:13 am

    Also, I always assumed in “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” that Grandpa killed Grandma and framed Santa for it. He’s taking it a little TOO well, don’t you think?

  89. 89.

    Uncle Ebeneezer

    December 16, 2014 at 11:14 am

    My 80’s nostalgia still has me enjoy Billy Squire’s “Christmas Is The Time To Say I Love You.” I also blame it for my liking of Wham’s “Last Christmas.”

    The Fiona cover of Frosty is great.

    The McCartney is the worst because not only is it super-bad, it’s also hella catchy/earworm material.

  90. 90.

    RSR

    December 16, 2014 at 11:15 am

    Yes, Greg Lake’s I Believe in Father Christmas is a favorite. There’s a recording that I hear on the radio (live? with a symphony?) that I just love, but I haven’t had luck finding it online anywhere.

  91. 91.

    ThresherK

    December 16, 2014 at 11:15 am

    @Steppan: And so many boomers’ first jazz (even though they didn’t know it at the time).

    “What did I do to deserve this?” category: Listening to Slacker Radio’s “Jazz Christmas”, was subjected to someone’s rendition of The Bell That Wouldn’t Jingle.

    Some compositions are beyond redemption, and that is one of them.

  92. 92.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 16, 2014 at 11:17 am

    @srv:

    What songs will you sing for Jeb?

    “They’re Coming to Take Me Away” by Napoleon XIV.

  93. 93.

    GR

    December 16, 2014 at 11:17 am

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:
    Yes, of course “Baby, Please Come Home” is the best song on A Christmas Gift for You and therefore the best Christmas song ever. Odd that DougJ got the right album but picked the wrong song.

    “Jesus Christ” by Big Star is definitely also in my top five, but I’m not a huge fan of traditional Christmas songs.

  94. 94.

    DougJ

    December 16, 2014 at 11:17 am

    @Matt McIrvin:

    I’ve got to find that record.

  95. 95.

    Matt McIrvin

    December 16, 2014 at 11:18 am

    …Google helpfully identifies it as Goodyear’s Great Songs of Christmas, Album 5 (1965).

  96. 96.

    Bobby Thomson

    December 16, 2014 at 11:19 am

    @eyelessgame: this

  97. 97.

    Cervantes

    December 16, 2014 at 11:20 am

    @Amir Khalid:

    Is there a bleaker song?

    Bing Crosby’s “I’ll Be Home For Christmas,” 1943.

    Sub-title: “(If Only In My Dreams).”

    The BBC refused to play it.

  98. 98.

    Mnemosyne (iPad Mini)

    December 16, 2014 at 11:22 am

    Fun fact: “Baby It’s Cold Outside” did not debut in a Christmas movie, but in the Esther Williams vehicle Neptune’s Daughter. Williams sings the traditional version with Ricardo Montalban (in his prime) while Red Skelton does a gender-switched version.

    Why aren’t there more gender-switched versions of that song, BTW? The only one I have has Garrison Keillor singing the woman’s part.

  99. 99.

    Paul in KY

    December 16, 2014 at 11:25 am

    @Belafon: I’ve found out that I don’t know very many Christmas songs (apart from old traditional ones).

  100. 100.

    Steeplejack

    December 16, 2014 at 11:25 am

    “Best song you think of as a Christmas song that isn’t really a Christmas song”: the Trade Winds, “New York’s a Lonely Town.”

    I mentioned this in that music thread a few days ago. In the early ’80s I had to travel a lot on business, and snow in New York City always made me think of this old clanger. This Christmas tie-in comes subliminally with the Leroy Anderson-approved sleigh bells in the background.

  101. 101.

    Amir Khalid

    December 16, 2014 at 11:26 am

    I just listened to that Paul McCartney thing, and dear God it’s bloody awful. Had this been produced in earnest rather than as satire, it would have ranked alongside Wonderful Christmas Time as one of the tackiest Christmas songs ever. Andy Williams’ The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year reminds me not so much of Christmas, but rather of the Cigarette-Smoking Man.

  102. 102.

    catclub

    December 16, 2014 at 11:26 am

    @Mustang Bobby: The Scottish song in the Snowman video.

    “I’m Walking in the Air….”

    I love the Roches Christmas album.

  103. 103.

    Steeplejack

    December 16, 2014 at 11:26 am

    @Michael Bersin:

    LOL. Second link just for you.

  104. 104.

    Cacti

    December 16, 2014 at 11:27 am

    Worst:

    Traditional – “Silent Night”. I’m so sick of hearing breathy voices full of false wonder singing this tired old tune.

    Modern – “Last Christmas” by Wham. No explanation necessary.

    Best:

    Traditional – “Carol of the Bells” but only sung a cappella by a mixed choir as intended. The human voices mimicking the intonation of church bells is hauntingly beautiful.

    Modern – “Fairytale of New York” by The Pogues. Good song about flawed people sticking together through hard times, and sprinkled with humor.

  105. 105.

    Mustang Bobby

    December 16, 2014 at 11:28 am

    @Cervantes: The original lyrics to “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” were also pretty bleak:

    Have yourself a merry little Christmas
    It may be your last
    Next year we may all be living in the past
    Have yourself a merry little Christmas
    Pop that champagne cork
    Next year we may all be living in New York.

    They were re-written before Judy Garland sang them in “Meet Me In St. Louis.” Even then, it’s depressing.

  106. 106.

    Matt McIrvin

    December 16, 2014 at 11:29 am

    The original words of “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” from Meet Me In St. Louis are kind of bleak, about how we’ll “have to muddle through somehow”. It comes at a sad moment in the story, with the characters struggling to pull a little cheer out of the holiday, and in fourth-wall-breaking context it functions as a wartime Christmas song. But today people usually sing it with modified lyrics. I like the original ones.

  107. 107.

    catclub

    December 16, 2014 at 11:29 am

    @Cervantes: In the Bleak Mid-Winter.
    Also the Huron Carol.

  108. 108.

    Steeplejack

    December 16, 2014 at 11:29 am

    @Steppan:

    It’s my sentimental favorite. And I just saw this morning that A Charlie Brown Christmas is going to be on ABC at 8:00 p.m. tonight.

  109. 109.

    Matt McIrvin

    December 16, 2014 at 11:29 am

    @Mustang Bobby: Jinx.

  110. 110.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 16, 2014 at 11:29 am

    I do like Elton John’s “Step into Christmas”, which has been mentioned by DougJ yet no one has commented on.

  111. 111.

    Steeplejack

    December 16, 2014 at 11:30 am

    An unexpectedly good Christmas album is Willie Nelson’s Pretty Paper.

  112. 112.

    Matt McIrvin

    December 16, 2014 at 11:30 am

    @Mustang Bobby: …That’s right, they were rewritten once even before they appeared in the movie. But even the lyrics in the movie are sadder than what usually gets sung now.

  113. 113.

    catclub

    December 16, 2014 at 11:31 am

    @Bruuuuce: Oh, right. I had forgotten that.
    First Christmas Away From Home.

  114. 114.

    low-tech cyclist

    December 16, 2014 at 11:36 am

    I only found out about The Killers’ Christmas songs last Friday, when my local indie station played their 2006 Christmas song, “A Great Big Sled,” as I was driving to work, and my instant reaction was, “that’s the best new Christmas song from the rock n’ roll era.”

    When I had a moment over the weekend, I googled ‘killers christmas song’ which turned up their 2014 Christmas song, “Joel the Lump of Coal” which is even better.

    I haven’t had a chance to listen to their Christmas songs from 2007 through 2013 yet, but I’m looking forward to it.

  115. 115.

    Paul T

    December 16, 2014 at 11:38 am

    Christmas music outside the three days before and after Christmas should be banned.

  116. 116.

    catclub

    December 16, 2014 at 11:40 am

    @Paul T: Twelve days of Christmas, which STARTS on Dec 24.

    Advent Police, represent.

  117. 117.

    Amir Khalid

    December 16, 2014 at 11:40 am

    @Cacti:
    Silent Night sounds better in the original German.

  118. 118.

    Seldom post, daily read

    December 16, 2014 at 11:42 am

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x33XlnWWfaI

  119. 119.

    moderateindy

    December 16, 2014 at 11:46 am

    Must agree with Natalie Merchant’s Children go where I send Thee
    Very nice harmonies on The Monkees “Riu Chiu” even though I don’t understand a word.
    Gotta love the Ramones , “Merry Christmas I don’t want to fight tonight”
    Blues Traveler “Christmas”

  120. 120.

    donnah

    December 16, 2014 at 11:48 am

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    And the B-side, “Who’d Be a Turkey at Christmas” is terrific! ;-)

  121. 121.

    JKC

    December 16, 2014 at 11:50 am

    No, no, no. Worst Christmas song ever is Wham’s “Last Christmas”. Makes me want to punch a radio every time I hear it.

  122. 122.

    Barney

    December 16, 2014 at 11:52 am

    @Litlebritdifrnt:
    I agree on ‘I Believe in Father Christmas’.

    For a carol, I like “Personent Hodie’ – if given full welly with a loud church organ, and a choir going for maximum volume (and in the original Latin). There are many wimpy versions around.

  123. 123.

    low-tech cyclist

    December 16, 2014 at 11:58 am

    @Bruuuuce:

    Best Christmas song that receives no airplay: “Christmas in the Trenches” by John McCutcheon.

    That one had slipped my mind; this evening I’ll have to dust that album (Winter Solstice, IIRC) off and put it on the turntable.

    One oddity about the song: it’s about the 1914 “Christmas Truce” which I didn’t realize had been a real event until Google and Wikipedia came along, but McCutcheon places it in 1916 for some reason. (“Two years ago the war was waiting for me after school.”)

    The high commands on both sides ensured that there weren’t any repeats of the 1914 Christmas truce, because they were afraid that if the soldiers started regarding their adversaries as human beings, they might refuse to shoot them.

  124. 124.

    moderateindy

    December 16, 2014 at 11:59 am

    Almost forgot with the passing of Robin Williams from the movie Toys, “The Closing of the Year”, by Wendy and Lisa, a bit sappy, but nice.

  125. 125.

    NorthLeft12

    December 16, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    I honestly cannot identify a single, or dozen favourite Christmas songs as I would have a difficult time paring a list down below fifty.Yeah, I love Christmas music.

    But the worst? I agree with the Paul McCartney song as the worst, although Andy Williams’ “the most wonderful time of the year” is damn close. I am not including any of those novelty [usually are horrible] songs that are supposed to be amusing.

  126. 126.

    Paul in KY

    December 16, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    God rest ye bloody Hippogriffs
    Let nothing be not flayed
    For Harry Potter our wizard boy
    Was born this Boxing Day!

    To save us all from Dementors
    When we have run away…

  127. 127.

    srv

    December 16, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    Can’t find an old version of this, but it works:

    Santa’s Got The Christmas Blues

    And for history – Christmas Rappin’ by Kurtis Blow:

    “Christmas Rappin” was the first Rap song released on a major label. Kurtis recorded this with the help of producers Robert Ford and J.B. Moore. They took it to Mercury Records, who signed Kurtis to a 2-single deal, under the condition that If both singles were successful, he would get an album deal. “Christmas Rappin'” was the first single, and it did very well. The second single was “The Breaks,” and it became the first rap song to be certified as a gold record, selling over 500,000 copies. Kurtis got the album deal and became the first rapper signed to a major label.

    Every Christmas, this would sell more copies. After eight years, it went gold. In an interview Kurtis Blow explained, “J.B. Moore wrote the first half of the song, the Christmas part. I did all of the party part, the second half of the song. I wrote all of that on a train ride down to the studio around Christmas time.” Kurtis’ first album contained the second half of this, a song called “Rappin’ Blow, Part 2.” The R&B group Next sampled this on their song “Too Close,” which was a huge hit in 1998. It was #1 in the US for 5 weeks.

    Kurt Walker better known by his stage name Kurtis Blow, is an American rapper and record producer. He is one of the first commercially successful rappers and the first to sign with a major record label. “The Breaks”, a single from his 1980 eponymous debut album, is the first certified gold record rap song.

  128. 128.

    Jane2

    December 16, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    Best: “Il est ne” by Siouxie and the Banshees. Worst: “Must be Santa” by Bob Dylan.

  129. 129.

    Paul in KY

    December 16, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    @srv: ‘Burn Motherfucker’, a little ditty by Five Finger Death Punch

  130. 130.

    Just One More Canuck

    December 16, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    @Amir Khalid: As do many other things, apparently

    The Band, “Christmas Must Be Tonight”

    Trans-Siberian Orchestra = overproduced crap

  131. 131.

    low-tech cyclist

    December 16, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    @catclub:

    Advent Police, represent.

    I always hated it when the (Episcopal) priest wouldn’t allow Christmas hymns to be sung in church during Advent.

    For one thing, there are lots of good Christmas carols in the hymnbook, but not many good Advent hymns. There’s “O Come Emmanuel” which is great, but that’s the only one that comes to mind.

    So no Advent police for me, thanks.

  132. 132.

    Greg

    December 16, 2014 at 12:09 pm

    Worst: All I Want For Christmas Is You, Mariah Carey. Best: Christmas Wrapping, The Waitressesp

  133. 133.

    kd bart

    December 16, 2014 at 12:09 pm

    The irony is that most of the best Christmas songs were written by Jews.

  134. 134.

    Elly

    December 16, 2014 at 12:12 pm

    Our family fave is Weird Al’s “Christmas at Ground Zero” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t039p6xqutU. The vid is a nothingburger, but the song never fails to crack us up. Sure, it’s morbid, but then again, it’s a good antidote for the omnipresent saccharine muzak that characterizes the season.

  135. 135.

    Mike in NC

    December 16, 2014 at 12:14 pm

    @srv: Oh, we are not worthy of Jebeneezer Bush, but this should surprise approximately nobody. Question is, how many other sociopaths in the GOP will feel obligated to announce before the end of the year? Newt? Trump? Lindsey Graham?

  136. 136.

    NCSteve

    December 16, 2014 at 12:15 pm

    @kd bart: That’s fair. A Jew is responsible for creating all this hoopla in the first place.

  137. 137.

    Paul in KY

    December 16, 2014 at 12:19 pm

    @NCSteve: That’s an Internets win, NCSteve!

  138. 138.

    srv

    December 16, 2014 at 12:21 pm

    The most relevant Killer’s Carol:

    Don’t Shoot Me Santa

  139. 139.

    _PK_

    December 16, 2014 at 12:22 pm

    Christmas Blues by Canned Heat

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN6wk4T5Oao

  140. 140.

    gogol's wife

    December 16, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    @Cervantes:

    I just heard Little Anthony sing that one in the bank while standing in line (I was standing in line, not Little Anthony).

    Every year I recommend the John Waters Christmas album. My husband won’t let me play it any more.

    I’m listening to the St. Matthew Passion to get into the spirit.

  141. 141.

    Steeplejack

    December 16, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    @DougJ:

    Here you go . . .

  142. 142.

    gogol's wife

    December 16, 2014 at 12:28 pm

    @kd bart:

    Yes, and Berlin wrote not only White Christmas but also Easter Parade.

  143. 143.

    gogol's wife

    December 16, 2014 at 12:30 pm

    @catclub:

    I was just going to say In the Bleak Midwinter. Never fails to bring tears. Great Rossetti words.

  144. 144.

    Joel Hanes

    December 16, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    Greatest :
    “O Holy Night” by any baritone who can really do it right
    “O Come O Come Emmanuel” arr. Rutter centuries of longing and oppression in a minor key build toward beauty
    “For Unto Us A Son Is Born” from the Messiah

    Hon. Mention
    “Coventry Carol” by John Denver spare, unadorned grief for the innocents slain by Herod

    Worst:
    “Holly Jolly Christmas” Burl Ives toxic combination of material and performer
    Anything by Percy Faith music from which all meaning has been carefully removed

    yes, I’m a sentimental fool

  145. 145.

    Hawes

    December 16, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    Best: Pogues “Christmas In New York”, I listen to that all year.

    Best traditional: “O Come All Ye Faithful” – Love singing that at the end of Lessons and Carols

    Worst: Wham, sweet fancy Moses, Wham. Dishonorable mention: Grandma Got Run Over…

    Worst traditional: Jingle Bells. Seriously, shut the fuck up kid, you don’t know how to sing..

  146. 146.

    catclub

    December 16, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    @low-tech cyclist:

    I always hated it

    Of course you hated it. But that makes it all the better on Christmas Eve when you finally hear O Come All Ye Faithful.

  147. 147.

    michael talley

    December 16, 2014 at 12:35 pm

    Best: Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) by Darlene Love

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWdyyNmE3O0

    Worst: Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer by Elmo and Patsy

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzV9DIL_vrM

    Both make me want to cry but for very different reasons.

  148. 148.

    Mnemosyne (iPad Mini)

    December 16, 2014 at 12:39 pm

    @low-tech cyclist:

    Bette Midler has a really good version of “O Come Emmanuel” on the Christmas album she did a few years ago. It’s one of the few versions by a pop singer that I’ve heard.

  149. 149.

    tybee

    December 16, 2014 at 12:41 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    been a long time since i’ve thought about that one.
    the B side of the 45 was the same song, played backwards.

    how about john denver’s “please daddy don’t get drunk this christmas”?

  150. 150.

    dan

    December 16, 2014 at 12:43 pm

    River? No one? River?

  151. 151.

    scav

    December 16, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    @catclub: Ok, but le’s in no way muddle the Twelve Days with Advent. Advent is getting there, no decorations traditionally present if you’re of certain traditions. Fun with Candles for some and various sort of calendary things for the upbeat and chocolate inclined. Baking is licit, if not encouraged. The broad minded and lucky can sneak in some extra gifts on St. Nicholas’ day — Dec 6th. Twelve Days are after. These are when the tree is in the house, again for those of the German persuasion at least. All those Thanksgiving trees are rather baffling, and usually dessicated, odorless and needle-deficient by the day itself.

  152. 152.

    PurpleGirl

    December 16, 2014 at 12:47 pm

    Haven’t figured out a favorite modern Christmas song.

    However the one that I abso-fucking-lutely Hate (with the heat of a 1 million suns) is Christmas Shoes.

    In small doses (like once a season) I can listen to Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.

  153. 153.

    Melissa

    December 16, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    @Petorado: Does anyone know the lyrics about presidents in the video of Dylan doing Must be Santa?

    Also Merry Christmas Baby by Chuck Berry

  154. 154.

    JasonF

    December 16, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    Darlene Love’s Christmas, Baby Please Come Home is unambiguously the best Christmas song. Anybody who says otherwise has poor aesthetic judgment.

    The Pogues’ Fairytale of New York is a close second.

    I’m also partial to the Ramones’ Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight). It’s so humble in its sentiment — while everyone else is wishing for peace on earth and good will toward all men, Joey Ramone merely wants one night of peace with one person.

    2000 miles by the Pretenders is also wonderful.

  155. 155.

    chopper

    December 16, 2014 at 1:04 pm

    anything off the vandals’ christmas record, really. especially ‘christmas time for my penis’.

  156. 156.

    Amir Khalid

    December 16, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    @Paul in KY:
    I hate to break this to you, but Harry Potter’s birthday isn’t on Boxing Day. Per Order Of The Phoenix, it’s July 31.

  157. 157.

    ixnay

    December 16, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    Santa Clause – Go Straight to the Ghetto, Christmas in Hollis, Run, Run, Rudolph, Guarald, Ella’s Swinging Christmas, and any competent performance of anything form the Oxford book of 100 Carols for Choirs. Chrissie Hynde’s cover of Have Yourself a Merry… is pretty damn good too. Frank Sinatra was responsible for the ‘highest star’ line in stead on the much better ‘muddling through’ original.

    My favorite Christmas story: It involves Mel Torme

    http://www.newsfromme.com/pov/col245/

  158. 158.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    December 16, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    I was blissfully unaware of Christmas Shoes until this thread. So thank you for that. I’m tempted to log in to you tube to taunt the Jeebus freaks about the little taker whose parents were irresponsible enough to reproduce and then get sick without properly preparing for misfortune. Also the idea that god drove a family in to illness and poverty to remind a Christian bleater of the true meaning of Christmas.

  159. 159.

    Steeplejack

    December 16, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    @Melissa:

    Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen
    Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon
    Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen
    Ronald Reagan, Bush and Clinton

  160. 160.

    ixnay

    December 16, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    Oh yeah, worst is a long list. One of many, O Holy Night, for pure scenery chewing awfulness. A friend with a filthy mind thinks the ‘Fall on your knees’ part is pretty cool.

  161. 161.

    Amir Khalid

    December 16, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    Keith Richards’ cover of Chuck Berry’s Run Run Rudolph.

  162. 162.

    mai naem mobile

    December 16, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    I was gonna say Billy Squire’s Christmas is a Time to Say I love You but I see somebody’s already mentioned it so I’ll add in Boney Ms Mary’s Boy Child. Its also the only song that has a bit of calypso music.
    Wost song – the Eagles Please Come Home For Xmas.
    John Lennons War is Over always makes me melancholy. So does the ELP song. I have no idea why.

  163. 163.

    Capri

    December 16, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    I’ve been fascinated by the sheer range of celebrities – A list to Z list- that have put out Christmas albums. I began collecting the oddest of them several years ago and have Christmas albums by the likes of the Olsen Twins, the Duck Dynasty clan and Regis Philbin. My prize possession is” Hung for the Holidays” featuring the not-so-dulcit tones of William Hung whose sole reason for celebrity was being terrible in an American Idol audition.

    I haven’t listened to any of these because any collector knows that removing the outer wrap decreases their value. Also, I don’t think you have to actually listen to them to know that they are terrible.

  164. 164.

    Jacel

    December 16, 2014 at 1:28 pm

    If you haven’t treated yourself to albums or San Francisco area performances by The Christmas Jug Band (sometimes fronted by Dan Hicks), go for it!
    http://www.christmasjugband.com

    In a similar vein, Brave Combo’s album “It’s Christmas, Man!” is wonderful, including the only rendition of “The Little Drummer Boy” that I can abide.

    As to Christmas Songs That Aren’t Really Christmas Songs, a holiday music box set included a song called “Walkin’ In The Snow” by Hank Penny and Sue Thompson that I still can’t figure out. Is it a tale of sweet reconciliation or a murder ballad?

  165. 165.

    eemom

    December 16, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    I like Someday at Christmas by Stevie Wonder.

    I actually like a lot of other Christmas tunes too, but I hate the holiday season.

  166. 166.

    dance around in your bones

    December 16, 2014 at 1:32 pm

    My favorite has always been Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses. I see NCSteve and Greg got there before me, but I have a LINK!

    One of the best 80’s bands, IMHO.

    eta: Oh, and the worst song? That ‘Let them know it’s Christmastime’ dreck, because not everybody on the fucking planet celebrates Xmas.

  167. 167.

    Matt McIrvin

    December 16, 2014 at 1:33 pm

    I always kind of liked “Do You Hear What I Hear?”, and it affects me more now that I’ve heard the story of how it was written.

    (It was inspired by the authors seeing people pushing baby carriages around during the Cuban Missile Crisis, and thinking about what it would take to raise children in the shadow of nuclear annihilation. “Pray for peace, people everywhere” is a desperate plea for survival; the “mighty king” corresponds to no particular Biblical figure because they were really thinking of Kennedy and Khrushchev.)

  168. 168.

    dance around in your bones

    December 16, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    Oops, and Seanly too. That’ll teach me to comment before reading the whole thread.

    Anybody else I missed? I just want to say you have excellent taste in bands.

  169. 169.

    Paul in KY

    December 16, 2014 at 1:48 pm

    @Amir Khalid: Hey, Captain Buzzkill, it fit the number of syllables I had to work with :-)

  170. 170.

    Amir Khalid

    December 16, 2014 at 1:55 pm

    @Capri:
    You’ll be glad to know William Hung is out of the music business now. He is working for the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department as a technical analyst.

  171. 171.

    John from Minneapolis

    December 16, 2014 at 1:55 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Yes, Darlene is a tough one to top. I wonder if this year’s version on “Letterman” will be the last?

  172. 172.

    brantl

    December 16, 2014 at 1:58 pm

    Paul McSuchney’s Wonderful Christmastime sucks crap through an 8 inch pipe. Lennon’s So this is Christmas is a thing of beauty. I think Imagine is my favorite song to hear at Christmas, though.

  173. 173.

    Matt McIrvin

    December 16, 2014 at 2:00 pm

    …OK, I think my parents had the sixth “Goodyear Great Songs of Christmas” from the following year as well, because I also remember several of the tracks on that one. Andy Williams doing “Do You Hear What I Hear?” and the Steve & Eydie “Let It Snow,” which is just as gloriously cheeseball as their “Sleigh Ride”.

    The other volumes’ track lists don’t look familiar to me.

  174. 174.

    Central Planning

    December 16, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    I agree with Christmas Shoes being the worst Christmas song.

    I like a couple of Harry Connick Christmas songs – (It Must’ve Been Ol’) Santa Claus and I Pray on Christmas. They are both kinda jazzy and upbeat.

  175. 175.

    mellowjohn

    December 16, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    love “Fairytale of New York,” but Dropkick Murphys “The Season’s Upon Us” has become a close second.

    http://youtu.be/qTx-sdR6Yzk

    “If you think your family’s crazy/Well, you should see mine.”

  176. 176.

    Bill

    December 16, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    Best “recent” Xmas tune:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sy9_JjLnmZI

  177. 177.

    Bill

    December 16, 2014 at 2:10 pm

    Although this is my personal favorite Xmas tune:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOg7aPNLLG0

  178. 178.

    Mnemosyne (iPad Mini)

    December 16, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    @dance around in your bones:

    I think we may have a generational difference here, because that song still makes me tear up almost as much as it did when I was 14 and it first came out. As a kid being raised in a mostly white suburb right after Reagan’s landslide re-election, the idea that I should give to people other than my family at the holidays was pretty mind-blowing. Sounds silly now, but it’s true.

    The song is telling clueless privileged people everywhere to wake up to the world around them which, again, was pretty mind-blowing for sheltered 80s kids to hear.

    (You could complain that it was the start of slacktivism — buy this product to help charity! — and I can’t really argue against that. Still, new concept when I was a teenager.)

  179. 179.

    dance around in your bones

    December 16, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    @Bill: You sentimental bastards!

    That made made laugh a lot. Bugger Christmas.

  180. 180.

    dance around in your bones

    December 16, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    @Mnemosyne (iPad Mini):

    I hear what you are saying, but to me it was just really presumptuous that we should give at Christmas because “Do they know it’s Christmas?” Well, hell no, they probably don’t. And if we feel the impulse to give, it shouldn’t be dependent on one particular day that is (variably) important to US….. it should be any old time of the year, not necessarily a holiday that only Christians observe.

    I guess it IS a generational thing. because I always hated that Coke commercial “I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony” so we could all buy Coke as good little consumers.

    As you may have guessed, I hate advertising and avoid it as much as I can.

  181. 181.

    Susan

    December 16, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    Best Christmas song: I want you with me Christmas by Jesse Belvin.

    Or

    Please Come home for Christmas Johnney Winter

    Best Christmas album Even Santa Gets the Blues

    Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) by Darlene Love is also very good.

  182. 182.

    Randy Khan

    December 16, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    @Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism:

    @Randy Khan:

    The version of “The Little Drummer Boy” on the first Very Special Christmas album (Bob Seger was the singer) has to be in contention for worst ever, along with every other version of that song ever sung.

    Even the Jingle Cats’ version? With purrs as the drum line?

    Haven’t heard that one, so perhaps it’s not as awful as every other version I know. And, you know, cats.

  183. 183.

    zeecube

    December 16, 2014 at 2:34 pm

    One of my favorites is “Christmas with the Harmonicats”. It’s cheesy good.

  184. 184.

    MaryRC

    December 16, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    Not exactly Christmas, but if “Sleigh Ride” can make it on the list here, so can Darlene Love’s “Winter Wonderland” as my favorite.

    Others for best song: Rise Stevens singing “O Come, O Come, Emanuel”; Mahalia Jackson singing “O Holy Night”; Charles Brown’s version of “Merry Christmas, Baby”. Lady Antebellum’s upbeat version of “Blue Christmas” (Elvis is too lugubrious). The Beach Boys’ “Little Saint Nick”.

    Worse songs: the aforementioned “Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” and Andy Williams’ “Most Wonderful Time of the Year” have been mentioned multiple times and justifiably so. I would like to add John and Yoko’s “Happy Christmas War is Over”. Jeez, what a dirge. And those kids going “Aah-aah aah-aah” just set my teeth on edge.

  185. 185.

    OGLiberal

    December 16, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    I love all Christmas songs so will only be naming faves. (well, I don’t think I’ve heard any Trans Siberian Railroad – have a feeling I’d hate it)

    “Fairytale of New York” – Pogues/Kirsty Macoll
    “God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman/We Three Kings” – Barenaked Ladies/Sarah McClachlan
    “Merry Christmas, Darling” – The Carpenters
    “Nutcracker Suite” – Brian Setzer Orchestra
    “Christmas Time is Here” (instrumental) – Vince Guaraldi Trio
    “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” – F**ked Up & Friends (Bob Mould, David Cross, Tegan & Sara, etc….like the original as well)

  186. 186.

    cckids

    December 16, 2014 at 3:32 pm

    @japa21: Same goes with “My Favorite Things” from the Sound of Music. It is on all kinds of Christmas albums & I have never understood why. I mean, there isn’t even a mention of anything Xmas-y in the listings of faves.

  187. 187.

    cckids

    December 16, 2014 at 3:42 pm

    @Mnemosyne (iPad Mini):

    Why aren’t there more gender-switched versions of that song, BTW?

    I generally hate, hate Baby Its Cold Outside, but there’s a rather sweet version from Glee, with the Kurt & Blaine singing it (the gay teen couple, for those not into Glee)

  188. 188.

    MaryRC

    December 16, 2014 at 4:00 pm

    @John from Minneapolis: Apparently so. There’s more about Darlene’s last appearance on Letterman here.

  189. 189.

    Tree With Water

    December 16, 2014 at 4:09 pm

    Sorry folks. But I consider the Xmas season to officially begin when I hear Brenda Lee rocking ’round the Xmas tree, and I haven’t heard her yet. Xmas may have to be postponed this year. Again, my regrets.

  190. 190.

    Thlayli

    December 16, 2014 at 4:38 pm

    “Santa Claus and His Old Lady” by Cheech & Chong.

    Not that I like the song, but you have to give some credit to Tori Amos for the only recording I’ve ever heard of “The Little Drummer Boy” with no drums .

  191. 191.

    Cara

    December 16, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFjdfjrtf1Q

  192. 192.

    Bitter Scribe

    December 16, 2014 at 4:53 pm

    Best Christmas carol that isn’t really a carol: “Winter Wonderland.” People are always surprised when I tell them that Christmas or the holidays aren’t mentioned at all in the lyrics.

  193. 193.

    Splitting Image

    December 16, 2014 at 5:23 pm

    Big Star: “Jesus Christ”
    Loreena McKennitt: “In Praise of Christmas” (“To Drive the Cold Winter Away” is the greatest Christmas album ever.)
    Pogues: “Fairy Tale of New York”
    Stan Freberg: “Green Chri$tma$”
    Weird Al Yankovic: “Christmas at Ground Zero”
    Lambert, Hendricks & Ross: “Deck Us All With Boston Charlie”
    Vince Guaraldi Trio: “Christmastime is Here”

    The best recent Christmas song I’ve heard is Twisted Sister’s “Oh Come All Ye Faithful”

    The worst songs are basically all of the ones they play over and over again in the malls. All of them, even the good ones, get killed through overplay.

  194. 194.

    NeenerNeener

    December 16, 2014 at 5:24 pm

    @dan: Yes, “River”, by Joni Mitchell!

    I’m also partial to any instrumental version of the little-known “Some Children See Him”.

  195. 195.

    Snarkworth

    December 16, 2014 at 5:27 pm

    Don’t like Christmas “songs”. Only Christmas carols/traditional.

    Well, with the exception of “Deck Us All With Boston Charlie,” of course.

  196. 196.

    Bobby Thomson

    December 16, 2014 at 6:17 pm

    Do They Know It’s Christmas isn’t culturally insensitive because of course Africans don’t know it’s Christmas. It’s condescending because they do. Noel, the Paque, and Pentecost are all big holidays. All pale next to New Year’s, which is effectively Happy Birthday for lots of folks.

  197. 197.

    Bonnie

    December 16, 2014 at 7:07 pm

    The best Christmas song ever is “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby tied with “Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms also tied with “Blue Christmas” by Elvis. And, no one can sing any of these songs as well as the originals.

    The worst Christmas song ever is ANYTHING sung by The Chipmunks and running a close second is “All I want for Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey.

  198. 198.

    Bonnie

    December 16, 2014 at 7:30 pm

    Best classical Christmas music is Christmas Goes Baroque by the CSSR State Phiharmonic Orchestra, Peter Breiner

  199. 199.

    Bonnie

    December 16, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: I haven’t thought of that song in a very long time. It gave me the giggles.

  200. 200.

    Curt

    December 16, 2014 at 8:27 pm

    I’ve worked at Gap for a few years, and from time to time they’ve done a decent job of stirring into the usual Xmas dreck something I might never have heard otherwise that seems fitting but is not so directly related to the holiday season. My favorites are:

    Incredible Moses Leroy, “Christmas in the Summertime”
    Club 8, “Love in December”
    Dean Wareham & Britta Phillips, “Ginger Snaps”
    My Morning Jacket, “One Big Holiday”
    Low, “Just Like Christmas”
    Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson, “Winter Song”
    Still Flyin’, “St. Veit”

    I’m coming in so late to this, I may repost it on the next relevant thread, and might think of something good I left off by then.

  201. 201.

    Michele

    December 16, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    Best songs:
    The Christmas Song, sung by Nat King Cole (and thank you Mel Torme!)
    Santa Claus is Coming to Town, sung by Bruce and the E Street Band
    The duet of Bing Crosby and David Bowie on The Little Drummer Boy and Peace on Earth
    so beautifully sung by both

  202. 202.

    agorabum

    December 16, 2014 at 9:32 pm

    @ixnay: Christmas in Hollis and also the source for those trumpets, Clarence Carter’s ‘backdoor santa’ which is great in its own right

  203. 203.

    Jacel

    December 16, 2014 at 11:42 pm

    @Bonnie: Agree with the “Christmas Goes Baroque” choice, along with the sequel (same title with Roman numeral II). I think Breiner also arranged a Baroque-style Beatles album, more satisfying than the “Baroque Beatles Book” LP Joshua Riffkin created in the 60’s.

  204. 204.

    Atticus Dogsbody

    December 17, 2014 at 12:32 am

    Tim Minchin – White Wine in the Sun.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCNvZqpa-7Q

  205. 205.

    Wally Ballou

    December 17, 2014 at 8:01 am

    @Bruuuuce: You beat me to it. As a backup, I’ll nominate Gordon Lightfoot’s “Circle of Steel”:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FvlgxoPK98

  206. 206.

    Wally Ballou

    December 17, 2014 at 8:04 am

    Favorite of the last 20 years: Bruce Cockburn’s “Cry of a Tiny Babe”.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmZlYiMCvSc

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