I have someone who is very seriously interested in adopting Thurston, and I am seriously considering it. She has a one year old Cairn terrier, and they get along like champs and just play and play and play. Would this make me a horrible person?
I love him and he is adorable, but he is just such a handful, and is just driving Rosie and Steve insane (and me).
bam
I think it would indicate you are a thoughtful person for considering what is best for Thurston – trust your gut – don’t keep a pet simply b/c you may be stubborn – he is lucky that he has two homes where he will be loved – all dogs should be so lucky.
Olivia
What a great opportunity! Absolutely you should do it. Thurston probably would be happier along with everyone else in your household.
Justin
Don’t let your ego get in the way of what’s best for Thurston. This isn’t about you. If the only reason not to do it is that you’ll feel bad for doing it… that’s about you, not Mr. Mischief. Sounds like he’d go great at that new home, and your existing brood will be happier too. Do it.
Djinn
Do it! You gave him a home once, now you can give him another home! I think we (your loyal readers) all know it’s the right thing to do.
(Back to lurking)
redshirt
Do it.
redshirt
Have you told them he’s possessed by the Devil?
debit
I would selfishly miss the Thurston updates, but agree with @Olivia: .
Princess
It is the right thing to do for Thurston and for you.
MomSense
John, I think you have to do what is best for all of the lives in your care–including your own! If Thurston has the possibility of a good placement in a forever home then there is nothing wrong with finding out if it is a good fit.
Amir Khalid
No, giving Thurston up wouldn’t in itself make you a horrible person. If you’re sure it’s best for him, do it.
I’d miss the stories about his mischief, though.
mtmofo
He needs a playmate his size and age. It’s best for all concerned, IMHO.
Schlemazel
You knew the answer before you even asked. Not only is it the right thing for you and your family it is right for Thurston. It’s like marrying off a child.
peej
@mtmofo: totally agree!
bystander
You know that what you decide is what’s best for Thurston. You’re perfectly capable of putting his happiness above yours, if you think he’ll be leading a better life than he will have with you.
Doug R
I know Cesar says it’s important for energy levels to match I think he’d agree it would be a good choice.
mai naem mobile
I think you should absolutely do it because we can be treated to another rescue story from you when another doggie follows you like a magnet. Seriously, you should.
Drunkenhausfrau
Yep. Do it.
Elmo
It’s all about what is best for the dog. If it’s best for the dog to go to a place where he has a built in compatible playmate, and an easygoing and attentive owner who is prepared for his foibles, then it’s a no brainer.
I think this is perfect and you would be wrong to keep him in the face of this offer.
Anne Laurie
Letting Thurston go live with a playmate of his own energy level would be a mitzvah for all concerned. And it sounds like you know his new family well enough that you could keep an eye on him, be sure they appreciate his unique gifts, and reassure yourself that you made the right decision for him as well as Lily (and Rosie, and Christion, and yourself).
You could probably even ask his new “pack leader” to send pictures!
MomSense
I had to rescue my pup in the ocean again today. This time she slid off a rock and the tide was much higher than she is used to so she was over her head with some very minor waves (waves terrify her). She couldn’t scramble back onto the rocks so I had to go in after her and lift her out. The water was actually pretty warm but it was cold and rainy this morning so I had a most unpleasant walk back to the car.
She was so sweet and humble after this and spent the afternoon just cuddling with us. Went into her crate without being asked. Must be the pup equivalent of a near death experience. She was not in any danger but she was definitely scared.
JustRuss
If he’s driving the other critters crazy, probably best to let him go. If it’s just you…hmmmmm.
Gladgrace
I would expect that if Thurston could express himself in a language form [it seems he is already expressing his needs in other ways], he would like the change as well. He’s like a teenager, and neither you nor your other critters are – he needs a pal that is close to his own age. As adults our appreciation for adolescents is limited even with our own offspring.
Irony Abounds
I think the fact that you even think you have to ask yourself that question is silly. You know he’d be going to a good home. You know you’d be happier. You know your other dogs would be happier. You know Thurston would be happier. Calling it a no-brainer is a no-brainer.
Mnemosyne (tablet)
Much as we all like to talk about our pets as if they were children, they’re not actually human and would not have any sense of rejection going to a different home. If you think Thurston would be happier there, do it.
And I’ll also say, thinking that you alone are the only person in the world who can make a pet happy is the start of animal hoarding. Most hoarders consciously mean well, but really think that no one else could possibly care as much as they do, even when the animals are objectively living in horrible conditions.
SWMBO
Most rescues have rules about rehoming a dog. Best check with them and make arrangements there first. I think Ellen DeGeneres tried to rehome a dog and it was taken from the new home. Do what you think is best but CYA so he doesn’t get taken completely away. And try to get pictures of the little hellion to post occasionally.
Gex
I think just like the cat you tried but ultimately found a new home, doing what’s right for the animals (Thurston and the others) makes you a good person.
kc
Nope! As long as he’s loved and cared for, you shouldn’t feel guilty.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
Many dogs are less happy as singletons, though not all. As an example of a singleton, Layla has made it quite clear that she is the princess how that LuLu and Django have crossed the bridge.
It certainly sounds like everyone would be happier if Thurston goes to live with his Cairn buddy.
You’re a mensch for taking them in, and you’ll be a mensch to let him go to the best home for all of you.
J R in WV
If it’s good for Thurston, you should go for it.
But you do have to tell them that he is an Imp of Satan.
Otherwise everything that happens will be your fault!
[ETA!] And you do have to continue to inform us of his “adventures”!
PurpleGirl
@SWMBO: While you’re right about the rescue having rules about re-homing a critter there are special circumstances here. Cole’s sister works at/with the rescue for which he was originally fostering Thurston, Lovey, and their mother Ginger. I think his sister and the rescue won’t have a problem with John finding a more compatible home for Thurston.
In other words, John, do it. I agree with everything everyone has said so far.
TaMara (BHF)
Just a reminder, I think these are all the same people who told you to give up Rosie, too. ;-)
Puppies are hell. Just sayin’
Anne Laurie
@TaMara (BHF): Yeah, but Rosie didn’t have another home where she was wanted. That was a general “Would Rosie be happier not-here?” against the specific “Would Thurston be happier with this particular family?”
There was no way of being sure, ahead of time, whether there was a better fit for Rosie waiting somewhere. But here, Cole has seen Thurston in his potential new “pack”, and he can tell for himself it’s a good fit!
PaulW
You sound like you have a handful with three pets originally, and keeping a fourth especially one who is hyperactive above all the others is making it tough to care for them.
If Thurston is going to a home that can handle his intensity, and he can adjust to that other house, and everyone’s good with it, this should be a win-win for all persons and puppies.
elspi
“Would this make me a horrible person?”
No, it is a little too late for that.
You should do what will make you and the dog happy.
Keith P.
Even Hitler kept his dog.
Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
Original Lee
Go for it. You are not a horrible person for wanting everybody to be happy. It sounds like a win-win: Cairn buddy and Thurston get permanent play buddies, Lily and Rosie and Steve get their house back, and you and the other humans in your household can relax about getting your stuff destroyed.
Joy in FL
I think Thurston will be fine with a shift in residence.
Do what is good for you and all your animals.
You are a person who adds a lot of kindness to the world. You would not be a horrible person, no matter what you do in this particular case.
kwAwk
No there is nothing wrong with giving away a pet if you think you and him will be happier.
But it sounds like you’ve never had a puppy before. Once he’s neutered and about a year older, he’ll be more like Rosie and Lily than the puppy he is now.
pat
So Thurston has a chance to go to a new home where he would be welcome and where he has a best buddy to pal around with…. And would leave you and the rest of your household in relative peace…… Why are you even questioning this…???? Sounds like an ideal situation!
schrodinger's cat
Puppy thread needs a kitteh. BTW what happened to Steve, haven’t seen him in a while.
benw
One more vote for do it! You fostered, you found them great homes, you are doing great. Plus, after you settle back down, you can foster again or you can always consider adopting an older, more sedate doggie who would fit in better in your pack. Rescue orgs are always desperate to find homes for older dogs.
Lord Baldrick
You’re a good person, Mr. Cole. No matter what your decision. It does sound like both of you would benefit. Less stress is a really good thing.
Mike J
@schrodinger’s cat:
If you vote for dumping Thurston he has to give us more Steve. It’s like a law and junk.
guachi
A puppy with a forever friend is a great thing.
One of our cats was so sad when her buddy died at the age of four. She doesn’t like any of our other pets now. But they were best friends for those four years.
We picked up two stray cats (brothers) that were about two weeks old a year ago. I couldn’t bear to break them up and they play together all the time and the older cats won’t play with them.
Giving a puppy a friend is a good thing.
Mingobat f/k/a Karen in GA
If the humans in the new home know what they’re getting into, and Thurston already knows and likes them, then it sounds like a good idea.
mattH
Ad the rest of us are just here to reconfirm your feelings. Doo Eet.
PurpleGirl
@benw:
Rescue orgs are always desperate to find homes for older dogs.
The same thing goes for cats. Kittens are ‘easy’ to find homes for, it’s harder to find people who will adopt an older cat. For examples, NYC’s ASPCA will let you take a cat 3-years old or older for no fee.
different-church-lady
Dude, it’s about time you turned off the path of pet hoarding. Not every pet/human pairing is a match. Nothing wrong with getting him to someone who is.
Aleta
The escaping and going missing part sounds very anxiety provoking, and for some it takes a long time to get that level reset again.
M. Bouffant
This won’t, no.
schrodinger's cat
@Mike J: Thurston is cute but seems like he is a handful. Its all up to Cole really.
trollhattan
JC: no, li’l doggies are hugely adaptable (hyooogely!) and if you can find the little dude a happy place then that opens a slot at Casa Cole for the next doggie. Right, like there’s not going to be a next doggie.
Have to say, the current California fires are the most frightening I’ve ever witnessed. They spring up randomly and grow exponentially for no particular reason (e.g., wind) eating up thousands of acres per hour. Horrible, horrible times. Smoke dropped onto the valley floor this afternoon and we all might as well be chain-smoking. Hasten winter.
Jane2
You gave Thurston a great start, and he’ll be that much better of a pet if he goes to another home.
RandomMonster
I’ll join the chorus — if it’s a good fit for the new household, and reduces the anxiety level in your pack, Thurston will benefit, too.
BillinGlendaleCA
@trollhattan: I grew up with the same thing down here in SoCal some years. Our town was surrounded by fires several times when I was a young tot.
Steeplejack (tablet)
@mattH:
LOL. Just letting you know at least one person got it.
Mike E
My favorite childhood cat–we adopted him when my brother couldn’t keep him–wound up with my brother’s old roommate because my mom and I moved to an apartment that had a strict anti-pet policy… I missed him, but he had a blast living with another cat in a bigger space. Good ending, and it taught me about proper care.
satby
Puppies do settle down, but fostering means saying good bye when the perfect home for your little critter comes along. You’re a mensch John, even considering giving up your baby because of a potentially better fit just proves it.
If it makes you feel more secure about it, have a trial doggie sleepover. And be sure the new adoptive home knows that if the situation changes he needs to be returned to you, not passed along like handmedown jeans.
satby
Puppies do settle down, but fostering means saying good bye when the perfect home for your little critter comes along. You’re a mensch John, even considering giving up your baby because of a potentially better fit just proves it.
If it makes you feel more secure about it, have a trial doggie sleepover. And be sure the new adoptive home knows that if the situation changes he needs to be returned to you, not passed along like handmedown jeans.
satby
Puppies do settle down, but fostering means saying good bye when the perfect home for your little critter comes along. You’re a mensch John, even considering giving up your baby because of a potentially better fit just proves it.
If it makes you feel more secure about it, have a trial doggie sleepover. And be sure the new adoptive home knows that if the situation changes he needs to be returned to you, not passed along like handmedown jeans.
satby
Puppies do settle down, but fostering means saying good bye when the perfect home for your little critter comes along. You’re a mensch John, even considering giving up your baby because of a potentially better fit just proves it.
If it makes you feel more secure about it, have a trial doggie sleepover. And be sure the new adoptive home knows that if the situation changes he needs to be returned to you, not passed along like handmedown jeans.
satby
FYWP
divF
Mr. Cole – Having watched (with pleasure) the Lovey / Thurston / Ginger story arc over the last several months, it is obvious that you have been a stand-up guy with respect to seeing that all three dogs have been cared for. If it is time for Thurston to move on to a home that is better-suited for him and for you, you can let go without feeling shame or guilt.
NotMax
Stop agonizing and just get it over with.
Bringing joy to someone else never makes you a horrible person.
Mary G
I think you’ll do what’s best for Thurston.
RaflW
Many years ago we had picked a beagle as our family dog. She was nothing like Snoopy, and while we loved her, she didn’t fit our family or our homelife well.
We adopted her to a home further out on the edge of town with room to run and play-hunt and do beagle things. He got a lovely letter at some point about how happy she was and we knew we had done the right thing.
I think if you find a loving home for Thurston, you are a fine upstanding human.
RaflW
@satby:
No kidding
No kidding
No kidding
Suzanne
Do it if you want to, but do be aware that he will grow out of this.
Puppies are annoying. They grow up and become less annoying.
RK
Maybe Thurston’s been ruining your life because he wants out. Evah think of dat!? If you’re entertaining adoption then you should do it if you can find a person who really wants him because you apparently don’t which is no good for either of you.
Fred
Sounds like adoption could be the best for everybody. Dogs live in the moment and Thurston will not miss you. There will be an adjustment period (it may be best to not visit for a while) but he and you all will live your lives.
It is important for Thurston and you that you not feel you are abandoning him. You are looking out for his best interest and making sure he and all your guys have a good and happy home.
And John: Lose the guilt. You need to be a strong leader for your dogs and guilt destroys that bond. Do the thing you feel is right with confidence. Love is real when we have the strength to do the hard things.
My wife and I have had Golden Retrievers for thirty years, had litters and placed puppies and found new homes for some that were not working out (both for others and twice from our home) and we get calls and emails all the time telling us about the joy our dogs have given and received with their new families. When that happens it really makes our day.
We recently moved to a neighborhood where one of our girls lives and we all meet on walks. She trots along side her mommy’s bike and is so happy and proud. We are too.
Montarvillois
Thurston is young, full of spunk, and needs to release energy which can be trying on a bunch of adults. I say release him, he’ll be a happier dog for it.
Susan D.
No, it would not make you a horrible person. Some animals just aren’t good fits in homes. And so for the sake of all family members, it is necessary to do what is best for everyone involved. I am sure that whoever you give Thurston to will love him and give him a wonderful home. Everyone is happy!
ET
It wouldn’t make you a horrible person. If Thurston as well as your other 4 legged roommates are happier then I think it would be a good thing.
boatboy_srq
Considering I had contemplated offering Thurston a home as well (two humans plus one cat desperately in need of chasing while we’re at work), go for it. Thurston will be happy, and the only negative for you will be missing the little tyrant. Best to (and for) you both! [[HUG]]
Elizabelle
Hope the lady with the cairn terrier is close enough that you can see Thurston from time to time, and we are assured a stash of pics. Also that Lovey and Thurston can romp together on a geg visit.
Sounds like a good solution. She will have two dogs (who can wear each other out, since they’re both young), you still have two dogs, a massive cat, a complicated life, and a demanding readertariat.
brendancalling
I’m in the middle of purging and packing for a move to Nashville and beginning to wonder if my cats need to be rehomed, so I sympathize.
Elizabelle
@brendancalling: Another purge and packer. Me too. Good luck!
Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et al.)
It means he’ll be happy, and so will you and your menagerie, too. Sounds like something a good person would do.
CONGRATULATIONS!
Probably for the best, John. He very badly needs training and I suspect, like most folks, that you don’t have the time (it is a very serious time commitment) to do it.
I had to do this with a new pup last year. He’s been pulled from his litter far too early – literally the worst thing you can do to a dog – and he figured out in short order that he could get his way by aggressively biting people. Which he did, often. I thought for sure that when we returned him we were sending him to his death.
I still feel overwhelming guilt about it, even though as things turned out he, by what must be a miracle, ended up in a very, very nice home.
moderateindy
Cole:
What, exactly, makes you think you’re not already a horrible person?
Grumpy Code Monkey
Puppies are hard work, and you have to be willing and able to devote non-trivial amounts of time to training. They can be disruptive to household harmony and destructive to househould items (which you’ve found out firsthand).
No judgement from me at all; this sounds like the best option for everybody. Lily, Rosie, and Steve will certainly appreciate it.
LongHairedWeirdo
Dude, I don’t even see how this is a question.
You’re having problems; someone wants to give Thurston a good home. Assuming you know this person can care for a dog, and assuming you want this and aren’t going to regret it next month, the question of “horrible person” can’t come up. Thurston’s a dog, not a person (and a young dog with all the SQUIRREL! I’m sorry, a young dog with MAILMAN! BARKBARKBARK! a young dog with the short DOG COOKIE! I LOVE DOG COOKIES! attention span common at that age.) If you’d been his only caretaker for several years, “horrible person” might come up if you had a ridiculous reason for wanting him gone, but that’s not the case here.
pam
of course not. a happy doggie home is a happy doggie home and if he has a great friend to play with that makes that home a happy one
My Truth Hurts
It’s a great choice. Do it. It’s best for every person and animal involved. Your menagerie will restaff itself at some point I am sure.
fidelio
You love him and want him to be a happy, well-loved pet.
You also love your other pets and want them to be happy.
You value your own contentment to a reasonable degree.
Let him go, and drop by to visit now and then. Kick your guilt in the slats and let the boy go.
dlm
I agree it would be in Thurston’s best interest to have a new home and play pal. It is also in your households best interest too.
John, you have the biggest heart. Don’t think for one moment that you are a horrible person for doing the right thing for all involved.
Lizzy L
From what I can see, it appears to be unanimous: PUPPY CAN HAZ NOO HOME. May be best thing all around. If you trust this person and feel confident that they can deal with Thurston, there is no downside.
bobbyk
@efgoldman: Be content with your older dogs and let Thurston Howl with someone who is.
HAHAHA, I see what you did there!!!
tom
If the owner will be good to him and he’ll be happy then yes, do it, a better (even if just slightly) life for all those involved.
Then get a pot belly piglet because the pictures would be insanely cute.
RK
Using your own designation for Thurston, have you tried an asshole whisperer?
TG Chicago
Silly question. If a new home is going to make everybody happier — including Thurston — then you’d be a horrible person only if you were to make yourself and others miserable by keeping him.
The only downside is that we blogreaders get fewer cute puppy pics, but we’ll manage.
Mark Damico
Cole,
For goodness sakes. It’s not like you’re rehoming your foster daughter. Make Thurston happy. You’ll miss him, but you’ll be happy too.
Paul in KY
No problem, John. If you think he’ll be better there, then let him go. They will get a fine dog.