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You are here: Home / z-Retired Categories / Previous Site Maintenance / Fine. I Give Up, Zuckerwhatsyerface

Fine. I Give Up, Zuckerwhatsyerface

by John Cole|  June 14, 20164:23 pm| 47 Comments

This post is in: Previous Site Maintenance

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This is the best I can make it look for you FB readers.

Only a year late.

I’m taking a nap now.

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Previous Post: « Tag Team Alert: Hillary Clinton Administers 2nd Trump Beatdown of the Day
Next Post: Long Read: “SAD! Campaign gurus for Jeb Bush, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio…” »

Reader Interactions

47Comments

  1. 1.

    jeffreyw

    June 14, 2016 at 4:27 pm

    Don’t let the bedbugs bite.

  2. 2.

    Poopyman

    June 14, 2016 at 4:28 pm

    You do realize we don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, right? Or are you referring to your twits over on the right having been sent to the cornfield?

  3. 3.

    eemom

    June 14, 2016 at 4:31 pm

    I don’t get it either.

  4. 4.

    schrodinger's cat

    June 14, 2016 at 4:33 pm

    I have no idea what this post is about. As mysterious as the missing mustard.

  5. 5.

    Betty Cracker

    June 14, 2016 at 4:35 pm

    Now the blog is autopublishing to the Balloon Juice FB page — that’s what he’s talking about.

  6. 6.

    J R in WV

    June 14, 2016 at 4:36 pm

    John,

    What da Fuq?

    JR

    PS: Are you OK?

  7. 7.

    Lamh36

    June 14, 2016 at 4:48 pm

    oh wait there’s a BJ Facebook page?

  8. 8.

    p.a.

    June 14, 2016 at 4:49 pm

    If you like BJ on Fbook you can download a

    “I Hate You All”~ J.G. Cole

    poster!

  9. 9.

    JPL

    June 14, 2016 at 4:51 pm

    Shorter post, John is grumpy and is going to take a nap. It must be Tuesday.

  10. 10.

    Eric

    June 14, 2016 at 4:53 pm

    @JPL: Also,too: He wants his lawn clear of you damn kids by the time he wakes.

  11. 11.

    satby

    June 14, 2016 at 4:58 pm

    Thanks John, though I never mentioned that lots of times I share a post on FB, this should make it easier to share. I’ve been being lazy all day so a nap sounds delightful.

  12. 12.

    tsquared2001

    June 14, 2016 at 4:59 pm

    Much like Canada, the Book of Faces is dead to me.

  13. 13.

    Tim in SF

    June 14, 2016 at 5:13 pm

    Link?

  14. 14.

    different-church-lady

    June 14, 2016 at 5:14 pm

    People reading anything on FB get what they deserve.

  15. 15.

    Dee Loralei

    June 14, 2016 at 5:17 pm

    @tsquared2001: yea, I came to the same conclusion earlier today. I’m so sick of the right wingers in my feed posting an ” All Lives Matter” response to Black or LGBTQ Lives Matter post. Or the Cain killed able with one rock, guns aren’t the problem hearts are shit. Or even fucking god they were posting variations of this was not the greatest mass killing in America by putting up pics of various things like Waco or Wounded Knee bitching that those had greater casualties trying to fucking obfuscate the fact that one man killed 49 and wounded another 53 people and the things they listed were perpetuated by the government. A few even talked about the Tulsa killings of African Americans or the Florida town thing where the Klan raised the town and killed so many. Oh and then I had 3 or 4 women post the thing about how they are the woman behind me carrying concealed in the checkout line and how they will protect me from the bad guys who want to kill me. I just can’t even anymore. I can ignore most of the shit they post , but dear God now this shit is starting to bleed over into real life meatspace encounters. I snapped at a friend who on Sunday night started bitching about how, in his statement, Obama didn’t blame the Muslim extremist murderer, he blamed America! And I said what? What exactly did he say? And she read me the part of his speech where he said we need to decide what sort of country we were. And I said, none of those words mean anything like what you just said they mean! And she said, well it was earlier! And I said for fucks sake, can’t we all just agree that it’s a bad thing to be killed for who you love? I’m just fucking livid at these folks and I see them 4 or so times a week. And I don’t think I can make it to the election with them supporting Trump and furthering right wing propaganda in my Facebook feed or to my actual face. I can mostly ignore it on my feed and I’m not gonna shit on their disinformation on their own feeds, but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let them say that stuff in my presence without any pushback.
    I know tl;dr. I actually deleted another huge chunk of my rant. Sorry.

  16. 16.

    maya

    June 14, 2016 at 5:19 pm

    @tsquared2001: Yup. A long ago high school classmate remarked about how weird it is to “friend” her granddaughter’s boyfriend. I quit FB after another ex-classmate, knowing I live in NorCal, requested that I send her some pot first by stating “I know you grow”. Uh, no and bye bye. Face Book is tantamount to putting a camera in your bathroom. What sane person would do that?

  17. 17.

    Felonius Monk

    June 14, 2016 at 5:21 pm

    I Give Up, Zuckerwhatsyerface

    Is this some sort of radical Islamic code?

  18. 18.

    schrodinger's cat

    June 14, 2016 at 5:25 pm

    @JPL: Is John a kitteh?

  19. 19.

    Juju

    June 14, 2016 at 5:26 pm

    I don’t have Facebook. I haven’t a clue as to what you are referring, nor do I want one. Have a nice nap and snuggle with the critters. Sweet dreams Mr. Cole.

  20. 20.

    WaterGirl

    June 14, 2016 at 5:29 pm

    @Dee Loralei: I read the who,e thing. Just reminds me that I am glad I don’t do Facebook.

  21. 21.

    dmsilev

    June 14, 2016 at 5:30 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat: We’ve seen photos. I don’t think John is near cute enough.

  22. 22.

    inventor

    June 14, 2016 at 5:34 pm

    More and more it appears that Hair Furor is, in fact,

    VINCIBLE!

    Looks like Sec. Clinton is vincing the shit out of him at the moment.

  23. 23.

    Juju

    June 14, 2016 at 5:36 pm

    @Betty Cracker: Is it supposed to autopublish? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

  24. 24.

    schrodinger's cat

    June 14, 2016 at 5:38 pm

    @dmsilev: That’s his cover, so that we won’t stalk him.

  25. 25.

    tsquared2001

    June 14, 2016 at 5:41 pm

    @Dee Loralei: No worries. I have a 4 hour lecture TEED the fuck up about B of F.

    Nephew comes into town this morning and we get to talking about current affairs. I posit the idea that the Orlando shooter was struggling with his sexuality. Nephew pipes up – and he was white too. Proceeds to show me a Facebook post using a picture of Harris and Klebold in the Columbine lunchroom.

    Now, Nephew can be dumb but he is by NO way that dumb

  26. 26.

    Baud

    June 14, 2016 at 5:42 pm

    When will Balloon Juice be on Instagram?

  27. 27.

    EBT

    June 14, 2016 at 5:43 pm

    Social media beyond fetlife is wholly a waste of time.

  28. 28.

    Raven

    June 14, 2016 at 5:46 pm

    I use it all the time.

  29. 29.

    tsquared2001

    June 14, 2016 at 5:49 pm

    @maya: I was on B of F for all of a week. No laptop at the time so I ending up hate typing on my phone telling these people I did not remember from high school that they were full of shit talking about drug testing assistance recipients.

    Nope. I got twitter for that.

  30. 30.

    JPL

    June 14, 2016 at 5:51 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat: He was taught by the best teacher in the world.. the one and only Tunch.

  31. 31.

    Betty

    June 14, 2016 at 5:55 pm

    Hi John, I saw your post on Facebook (while visiting with family) and popped over to say hello.

  32. 32.

    eemom

    June 14, 2016 at 5:59 pm

    @different-church-lady:

    With due respect, will you STFU with the FB hate? Not everybody think it’s the evil empire. Some of us find it, like, INVALUABLE as a way to be in contact with friends that would otherwise have been lost forever due to distance of space and/or time.

  33. 33.

    Groucho48

    June 14, 2016 at 6:02 pm

    Here’s a link

    https://www.facebook.com/balloonjuice/?fref=nf

    I like FB. I get to keep in touch with friends and family. Over the years a couple folks turned out to be right wing nutcases and I blocked them. FB is no better or no worse than you let it be.

  34. 34.

    maya

    June 14, 2016 at 6:08 pm

    @tsquared2001:

    talking about drug testing assistance recipients.

    Well, now there’s a concept I can get behind – Drug testing anyone on the taxpayer’s dime; like politicians, candidates for political office and elected officials. “Here’s your cup, Senator. You know what to do with it.”

  35. 35.

    humboldtblue

    June 14, 2016 at 6:09 pm

    Well when your country-fried ass wakes up from your slumber your website will still run like shit on firefox, so there’s that.

  36. 36.

    tsquared2001

    June 14, 2016 at 6:20 pm

    @maya: Hahaha. Exactly the argument I raised except with tax breaks and corporations who get rich off them and with a lot more foul language.

  37. 37.

    schrodinger's cat

    June 14, 2016 at 6:24 pm

    @Baud: Snapchat is where its at. Not enough photos for Instagram.

  38. 38.

    MobiusKlein

    June 14, 2016 at 6:42 pm

    Zuck has a hospital AND trauma center of his own in SF now: http://zuckerbergsanfranciscogeneral.org/
    What can I say, but bring on the Brawndo.

  39. 39.

    rikyrah

    June 14, 2016 at 6:49 pm

    Cole,

    You are a funny crank. :)

  40. 40.

    eemom

    June 14, 2016 at 7:03 pm

    @Groucho48:

    FB is no better or no worse than you let it be.

    Zactly. It’s an IMPLEMENT, ferfuxsake, a means to an end….not a malevolent body snatcher.

  41. 41.

    different-church-lady

    June 14, 2016 at 7:17 pm

    @Betty Cracker: I anticipate the quality of discourse here will soon be plummeting to depths previously unplumbed.

  42. 42.

    different-church-lady

    June 14, 2016 at 7:27 pm

    @eemom:

    With due respect…

    In my own estimation, that would amount to “none”, but I thank you for the kindness nevertheless.

    Some of us find it, like, INVALUABLE as a way to be in contact with friends that would otherwise have been lost forever due to distance of space and/or time.

    In my own worthless opinion, that very invaulable-ness (invaluability? Invaluablosity?) is part of what makes it evil. There are other far less manipulative, far more deep ways of staying in touch with people who are actually meaningful in one’s life.

    I tried it for a bit and found it creepy. Nobody was actually communicating, merely engaging in tandem monologues. I found that it continuously encouraged me to eschew any depth in what I was trying to put out into the world. I started to feel like I was spying on my own friends, and that was not by accident. Facebook encourages — almost demands — the abandonment of discretion, and then shrugs when people suffer the inevitable fallout from it.

    I knew there was something deeply dysfunctional about FB and the the behavior it generates when a recently deceased friend’s widow notified people about his wake on FB and only FB.

  43. 43.

    Juju

    June 14, 2016 at 7:45 pm

    @different-church-lady: Holy cow. That wake thing is just sad, and if I had been a friend, I’d have missed the wake. I stay off Facebook because I had a stalker. What I don’t understand about Facebook is why people get so wrapped up in it. If you disagree, don’t encourage contact, ignore, or whatever it is with Facebook. You aren’t obligated to have contact with anyone you don’t want to have contact with. Why agonize over such things? Life’s too short.

  44. 44.

    ? Martin

    June 14, 2016 at 8:11 pm

    Facebook is currently about the only platform that newspapers are making money off of. Kill Facebook and you’ll probably kill NYT and WaPo in the process. I too am not a Facebooker, but they have created something of genuine value – reasonable ad rates that they pass back to publishers, and a very strong social graph to boost circulation. Buzzfeed effectively started as the news bureau for Facebook and they’re scooping almost everyone these days and they are profitable and expanding, and have been turning out some really solid journalism.

    A lot of these FB complaints seem about 10 years behind the times.

  45. 45.

    Groucho48

    June 14, 2016 at 8:13 pm

    I think of FB as kind of a newsletter of my friends and family. Yes, a newsletter full of baby and cute animal pictures, but, also a way of finding out what people you might not see from week to week or month to month are up to and to let them know what you are up to. I don’t see it as a vehicle for discussions. It’s not good at that. If someone posts something interesting and I want to know more or discuss it, I call them or email them or whatever and converse that way.

    Just a couple days ago, I found out, through FB , that an old high school friend, whom I haven’t seen in 30-odd years, is going to be in town in a week and now a few of us have plans to get together. Stuff like that happens regularly and it makes my life a bit more interesting.

    TWITTER, on the other hand, does seem to be a tool of the devil.

  46. 46.

    Juju

    June 14, 2016 at 8:21 pm

    @? Martin: I haven’t read all the comments, but I don’t think anyone was actually saying anything like kill Facebook. If people want to use Facebook I have no issue with that fact, I just choose not to.

  47. 47.

    eemom

    June 14, 2016 at 10:26 pm

    @different-church-lady:

    ferfuxsake II — if you don’t like it, don’t do it. Just don’t feel obligated, every time the evil words F___B____ are uttered on this blog, to launch into a tirade about how horrible it is. That’s what’s CREEPY.

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