Had the water turned on today, and I was unable to be there, so dad had to fill in for me. Water was turned on, and the tub in the upstairs bathroom was running, the pipe in the upstairs sink is broken, water came shooting out of the washer hookup, and there is a pipe broken in the ceiling in the basement.
The water is now turned off.
And for a 75 year old man, my dad can put an awesome stream of obscenities.
Trentrunner
Maybe I’m crazy, but I’m guessing that someone who would leave a dog to a slow, painful death by starvation is probably not gonna be a top-notch home-maintainer.
Gin & Tonic
And here I was speculating downstairs that you’d set off all the flea bombs and blown up the house. This is almost as good.
JohnB
If my father and grandfather are anything to go by, most men of a certain generation are masters of obscenity.
AnnaN
It’s a foreclosure, be happy that you still have the copper piping. :)
Just keep saying to yourself (until you believe it) that this is NOT a money pit; it is simply the cost of buying a foreclosed home in need of rehab.
DCrefugee
John, you need a Harbor Freight catalog and some discount coupons to Lowe’s…
But speaking of tools, what’s up with Trump today?
22over7
You should contact the DIY network to create a show about this. I’d watch!
ruemara
Homeownership is a wonderful thing.
Catherine D.
I take it you don’t get to send in a home inspector with a foreclosure? Oy.
JustRuss
“John Cole Buys His Dream House” has comedy classic written all over it. So far you are not disappointing.
West of the Cascades
You are videotaping this to post on the blog for the next 10-15 years, right?
stinger
I hope every moment of this is being captured on video. Some day you will look back and laugh.
Through your tears.
Major Major Major Major
@JustRuss: Act I turns out to be a feel-good story about a dog; this means that act ii has room to get pretty grim.
indycat32
My first thought was deliberate damage by the previous owner.
Shell
He can keep the white hair treatment he has in “Sully”, to show the ravages of home repairs.
Patricia Kayden
He’s had 75 tears to perfect that stream.
@JustRuss: Would make for a great comedic movie with some touching moments like the saving of Walter.
Major Major Major Major
@srv: Silly writers!
Shame about Alan Rickman, he’d make an amazing Steve.
Trollhattan
Find it interesting that only the water supply system is being discussed with nary a mention of the drain lines. Where is all that suddenly running water now?
ribber
Do you have a main shutoff valve in the house? That way you don’t have to ‘have the water turned on,[presumably by the utility]’ you could turn it on and off as you please.
Shana
@indycat32: I’ve heard about people pouring concrete or cement down drains on their way out. I’d consider anything less than that level of damage a win.
ETA: Walter Matheau would obviously play Walter.
TaMara (HFG)
The first year is going to be hell. Once you resign yourself to that, it will be much easier to laugh it off as it comes at you.
Shell
I see John Leguizamo to play Rosie.
Keith P.
You should get Shelley Long to help with the repairs.
Taylor
Two broken pipes sounds excessive. Deliberate damage, or rotted out?
Don’t know if you’ve turned on electricity, but I would seriously have a tester handy. If the PO sabotaged the water pipes, and given what he did with his dog, it might not be out of character for him to fuck with the wiring.
Peter VE
I came up to a closed restaurant to measure it for a remodel. Our client came running out the door to flag down the water department, who had just turned the water on. The restaurant had been closed about 18 months before, with no thought of preparing the building for the subsequent winters. Amongst the wonders was a cracked 2″ sprinkler line pouring a massive stream of water into the middle of the bar floor. It took about 10 minutes to shut the water off. Fortunately, the water made its way to the floor drains in the basement.
I second the question about a main shutoff – there should be a main shutoff inside the house past the meter. When you get the plumber in, make sure there are shutoffs to each bathroom: I have to shutoff the whole house to work on one of my bathrooms.
Sandia Blanca
1. Good job on talking your Dad into being the guinea pig.
2. Love your storytelling style!
piratedan
well the ending would obviously have to be Walter, returning home for a visit, taking dump in the yard…. Just sayin’.
Mnemosyne
Well, at least you’re mentally prepared to find malicious damage after what what done to Walter. You’ll still be pissed, but you won’t be surprised.
Mnemosyne
Also, too, what everyone was saying yesterday about finding a good general contractor NOW to deal with all of the problems you already know you’re going to find.
hovercraft
@indycat32:
I’ve seen* some instances were they put quickcrete in the toilets and all the tubs and sinks, so this if it was sabotage is relatively mild. Now I realize that with water leaks springing all over the house, JC has no fucks to give about how much worse it could be.
* I watch several of the house flipping shows on HGTV and DYI network.
I’d like to add my vote to those asking for visual documentation of the John Cole and his Menagerie’s Adventures in a Foreclosed House. I’d watch just to see if he survives.
Davebo
I can’t understand why you wouldn’t just turn off the main supply valve before you had the water company turn on the water service.
Damn, you are an amateur!
Mnemosyne
@Davebo:
I think he wanted to see if the asshole prior owner was sabotaging things before he left and, yep, he was.
Pogonip
@Taylor: That is an excellent idea.
Kenneth Kohl
@JohnB: Yep, they raised it to an art-form.
scav
So, now there are damp even grumpier unbombed bugs, with damp uncleaned trash.
Having to bring in machetes for sort of an extreme jungle-garden-archaeology-clearence trek episode raises serious concerns.
indycat32
@hovercraft: You’re right, it’s mild for deliberate sabotage, but that bathtub faucet didn’t turn itself on, which is why sabotage was my first reaction.
mostly grey
I have this delusion when buying a car or house or old lamp or whatever that it doesn’t matter that it’s messed up because then I can fix it and make sure it’s fixed to my liking and taste rather than living with the poor choices someone else made in design or maintenance. I, of course, have too many projects and things to fix at this point to think I’ll ever know what the satisfaction of finishing anything will feel like but there you have it. I think after a few months of chaos and questioning your decision making ability, you are going to be able to sit in your favorite chair, providing Steve is not occupying it, and be proud of what you’ve done. I’m certain you will still get a lot of design derision from the commenters but it wouldn’t be BJ without that. Walter wasn’t rehabbed in a day, but he’s coming along nicely, I’d expect the house to work out as well.
dmsilev
@Peter VE: My favorite sprinkler line story was at my previous job, where someone had some pipefitters in to run some new copper pipe, and they set up a brazing station directly underneath a sprinkler head. Nothing like getting into work at ~8 AM to discover pools of water in the basement, water coming out of the ceiling in the subbasement, and an ever-increasing number of people running around like headless chickens. Bear in mind that this is a laboratory building and the subbasement rooms that were raining featured lots of $$$ instrumentation (probably 2 or 3 million dollars worth of replacement cost), hence the mad scramble to protect everything.
SiubhanDuinne
John said something a few days ago about meeting with the Sheriff to initiate legal proceedings against the previous owner on animal cruelty charges. I assume there could also be a few counts of destruction of property or malicious negligence, yes? Would love to know how that is going.
p.a.
@Peter VE: How old is the house? Main shutoff(s) probably frozen open unless they were operated occasionally.
John’s helped so many in the past, maybe we should start a fund for him now, even before all the damage is discovered. I can see this being a down-to-the studs reno.
CaseyL
A Help John Fix his Fucked-Up House fund is something I would gladly contribute to, but I am also firmly in favor of the proceedings being recorded, visual and audio, with commentary. That’s a gold mine just waiting to happen, and I want to be an early investor :)
Aleta
You know what’s worse than repairs on a house?
Repairs on more than one house. I truly pity the Romneys and all the rest of them.
BTW John, I have refrigerator advice, recently formed given your situation. You probably want a refrigerator in the house pretty quickly, so you can have food and cold drinks when you’re working or want to feed people after work parties. Go to a used appliance store that delivers, tell them you want a basic cheaper older one with a good repair record. Ask them to call when one comes in. Put it anywhere and you’ll get a feel for where you wish it was. Eventually you can replace it. Consider it like a temporary used car for a teenager. Like cars, many of the new ones are not built to last past 10 years anyway, and their parts are expensive. Design the kitchen later as you take breaks from doing basics.
Aleta
@p.a.:
I agree! I believe that good things will happen in that house, for college kids and animals. (Won’t joke about the Venn diagram.)
gvg
mention of deliberate stopages……finding an expert to contract too would be recommended.
Take buckets of water in and dump one at a time down all known drains and see what the results are. locate shut off valves before pouring so you can be quick. have rags, mops and empty buckets hand to clean up over flow, then pour.
When you turn on electricity, flip all circuit breakers off first, then turn on electricity, then turn breakers back on one at a time. write down what each circuit goes too also. Have new bulbs to fit all outlets on hand. this takes 2 people. one at the circuit board, one watching lights. loud voices too. I guess you should wear rubber shoes and have a fire extinguisher on hand.
Are their books especially for renovating foreclosures that can tell him how to do it ahead of the hard way? Seems like there should be.
p.a.
@CaseyL: I can see (hear) it now, “beep beep beep,” [conjunction], “beep beep beep beep,” [conjunction], “beep beep Thurston beep.”
1,000 Flouncing Lurkers (was fidelioscabinet)
@gvg:
Cell phones are a god-send for this and checking plumbing with two or more people playing. You no longer have to yell and hope to be heard.
Pogonip
@scav: The bugs aren’t grumpy. They’re at the Cole Buffet.
COLE is grumpy.
Aleta
Wasn’t it a year ago from last spring that it got below 0 in West Virginia? When a house is in foreclosure process in the North, it’s not unusual to have pipes that have frozen and burst. People can’t afford to keep the oil tank full, just put in 1/4 tank at a time. Sudden spell of cold in the spring takes them by surprise. If you have an oil furnace, it may need cleaning; be clogged from silt if the tank went dry.
Halcyan
We do learn these sort of things from our children. Or because of our children. Or some such.
bluefoot
@DCrefugee: IME, Harbor Freight is inexpensive, but their tools aren’t great quality. They’ll (probably) last through the remodel, but if John wants tools he can hang onto for a long time, I’d splash out for tools elsewhere. I’ve literally had tools break in my hand because they’re made from cheap steel. And one benchtop drill press that was off true. *That* was annoying as hell.
raven
@bluefoot: I was gonna say that! I’ve been pretty happy with the Porter Cable tools I have bought. They are not as good as Milwaukee or DeWalt but they do the trick for a weekend warrior.
raven
@SiubhanDuinne: Not with an as-is auction.
JaneE
Depending on the age of the house, it may have been built with galvanized pipe. If that is the case, just have the whole thing repiped. Really.
raven
@JaneE: Yea sure, and use copper as long as you won the lottery.
rikyrah
You really are a reality show waiting to happen, Cole.
TerryC
@DCrefugee: Lowe’s provides a 10 percent discount for vets.
ET
Of course your dad can put in a good stream of obscenities he has more years of experience. The benefits of age I say.
Taylor
@raven: JaneE is right. Galvanized pipes are a disaster waiting to happen. What’s the alternative, PEX? Anyway copper isn’t crazy expensive like it was in the noughties. Furthermore, I’d go with Type L rather than Type M.
Other joyful things to look for:
1. Asbestos tiles in the basement or asbestos insulation on pipes.
2. Lead traps for toilets.
3. Overloaded electrical boxes (hacks just kept adding wires).
4. What do we know about the drain line? If it’s CI, how old is the house? I figure those things should last about 100 years. Otherwise, see #1…..
5. Look for damage done by plumbers to beams and joists. I’m assuming the PO wasn’t smart enough to sawzall a beam…..
6. What kind of shape are the boiler and water heater in?
Trollhattan
@gvg:
If you can’t finagle a helper, one of these is worth having.
LongHairedWeirdo
Respectfully, you should never be surprised at the *ability* of an aged man who’s probably had plenty to cuss at. (You don’t make it to 75 without plenty to cuss at. And, meaning no *particular* insult toward you, I reckon raising you gave him incentive as well :-).)
Now you might be astounded at his restraint that you just now heard a really good, solid example of the art. But you shouldn’t dis a man’s cussing ability, especially not an old man relative’s :-).
SiubhanDuinne
@raven:
Oh, yeah. No, I guess not.
So get the bastard twice as hard on the animal charges.
Roger Moore
@dmsilev:
My work- fortunately a different department in a different building- just had something like that, but as a result of a heater in somebody’s office rather than a mistake by a contractor. A sensible person would wonder why somebody in Southern California would need a heater in their office in August, but this question has apparently not been asked by TPTB. Too bad, or they might conclude that providing separate functioning thermostats for every room in the building is cheaper than occasional disasters like that.
Roger Moore
@gvg:
Keep the written list in the breaker box, which is where you’re going to need it. Even better, label the individual breakers.
Roger Moore
@raven:
I think PEX is the most common material for repiping these days.
Tom in Colorado
I have bought a HUD home. Vacant for over 18 months. Leaks and busted pipes. Mostly due freezes and rubber shrinking. Not deliberate. My brother a handyman calls Harbor Freight “Snap Off Tools”.
Walker
My ‘oh my god, what did I get into?’ moment was when I discovered that I did not have a footer drain. Apparently the house inspector failed to catch this. Oh did I mention that my property is the wetlands run-off of the entire area? The last two years, the water table was at my footer.
I had to hire someone to execavate around the entire house. He (with my approval) completely over engineered the remediation with several thousands of dollars of stone. His exact words were “I am going to make sure that you never need to hire me again.”
Aleta
I wonder how often it happens that a house is vacated due to foreclosure and the family or owner leaves an animal behind . Maybe the rental or their temporary shelter won’t accept it, or it can’t go along on the bus or someone else’s car. Maybe they don’t have a carrier. Or they tell themselves they’ll come back for it but bad luck gets worse.
Even though there are laws governing the process, in a moral world, shouldn’t the repossessing banks take some responsibility to have the place checked for life left behind?
Some banks hire security companies to check the property for break-ins, or a company to mow the lawn, to protect their investment, don’t they? So hire a pet-specialist animal retrieval company to check for signs of pets. Make it a cost of doing business in mortgages and rentals.
I think the bank as evicting owner should also be held responsible if animals (other than mice, raccoons) or are living neglected on their repossessed property. I believe that horses and livestock have also been left to starve on eviction properties.
Lorinda Pike
@TaMara (HFG): You’ve got that one right. Ten years ago we purchased an 85-year-old Craftsman bungalow at a decent price. We’ve spent almost what we paid for it on the foundation, wiring, and plumbing – and there are still things I want to do. But in little chunks. The kitchen is next, but I’ve read up on milk paint, and I’ll refinish the cabinets and save some cash. Already did some tile in the bathroom. But it’s a cool house, and suits us perfectly.
John is just going to have to enjoy the ride, because I guarantee it WILL be interesting…
Suzanne
I am surprised that someone as disaster-prone as Cole is attempting a project of this scale. Well, it’ll be fun.
Stick with copper piping.
@JaneE: YES, you are right. Before getting in the house and having nowhere else to live, do the piping.
I also think energy efficiency improvements to the envelope would be a good deal of you can afford them. The building codes out here call for continuous insulation now in most buildings, and it makes an enormous difference. Triple-pane windows, roof insulation (under the roof if you get ice dams), better deals at doors, etc. Also think about a radon vent.
Ruckus
@JohnB:
It’s just that we’ve had a lifetime to learn it and use it. Practice, practice, practice.
Sarah, Proud and Tall
@Davebo:
Well that wouldn’t be any fun.
Honus
The reason you turn on the water in an old house is to find the leaks. I say this as the holder of a class A contractor’s license who has renovated houses for the past 40 years.
Also, forget copper. Pex is far superior.
sukabi
@SiubhanDuinne: most (all) foreclosures are “as is” sales, not much you can do about previous owner’s “maintenance” or lack thereof. He’ll have better luck with the animal cruelty charges.
CZanne
@JaneE: and have it done with Pex, not copper/brass/galvanized. Pex handles a freeze much better than metal, it’s much easier to snake around obstructions, and it works on a manifold system, so you can turn off water to an area without turning off water to the whole house. We had to replace the whole system in my grandmother’s 140 year old house about 10 years ago, because sometime between the first running water install in about 1910 and when I got brought into the disaster, copper and galvanized got mixed. Which is an oh shit situation that summons all sorts of plumbing demons.
Also, Pex is a much cheaper option.
John Weiss
@raven: There’s a fairly recent type of plastic pipe, I wish I knew the name; the fittings actually don’t leak, it’s flexible and less expensive than copper, not to mention much easier to handle. Last but not least, if it freezes with water in it, it expands and doesn’t split, returning to it’s nominal size when it thaws. Nothing at all like Quest and similar brands.
Oh right JaneE, Pex was the name I was looking for. Thanks.
jw
CalD
This too shall pass, John Cole.