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Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

Americans barely caring about Afghanistan is so last month.

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If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

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Let there be snark.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

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You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Hail to the Hairpiece / You Two Kids Play Nice

You Two Kids Play Nice

by | 46 Comments

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Heh:

Steve Bannon and Jared Kushner, two warring senior White House aides, had a bury-the-hatchet meeting ordered by President Donald Trump, after arriving at Mar-a-Lago this week.

The sit-down, which was confirmed by two White House officials, was an attempt to smooth over tensions between the two men, which have dominated headlines for days. Whether the meeting was successful in creating a détente – and how long it lasts – is an open question, especially in a White House that has been dominated by infighting.

I imagine it went something like this:

Bannon: I hate Jews.

Kushner: I’m Jewish.

Trump: Good talk. I feel so Presidential.

Four more years of these assholes.

Reader Interactions

46Comments

  1. 1.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Are you trying the airport thing again?

    Ticket ✔️
    Wallet ✔️
    Phone ✔️
    Pants ✔️

  5. 5.

    MJS

    4 more years?! How dare you!? Even discounting the dream of an early departure, we are still fully 5% through his term. A maximum of 95% more to go. We can do this.

  7. 7.

    Mary G

    I am so sick of Twitler lining his pockets by dragging the whole crew of deplorables to Florida every weekend where he golfs and they fight among themselves. Meanwhile they sell regulatory relief to the highest bidder and defund science research and help for the poor and middle class.

  9. 9.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @MJS: That is presuming they will actually hold elections, something I am sure Mitch is working on changing.

  11. 11.

    Betty Cracker

    Rooting for injuries, but it sounds like Bannon is about to experience the downside of working in a nepotistic organization. Good riddance to the shitbag, but his departure (should it come to pass) won’t change anything. Trump was a racist, sexist, xenophobic demagogue before Bannon joined the team and will go right on being one after Bannon departs.

    Since there will be no real consequences, the thing I dread is the wave of think pieces about Mr. Ivanka’s moderating influence. The more craven Villagers will jump on Bannon’s ouster as a sign that the racist, sexist, xenophobic elements have been driven out of the administration when in fact they are a core part of Trump’s identity.

  12. 12.

    satby

    @rikyrah: Good morning! And to all the rest of youse.

    @OzarkHillbilly: You will be amused to learn that the cabinet I wanted to pull out for my dishwasher was in fact a plywood solid front, because the previous owner made his own cabinets. Each was a plywood box with dividers to put the drawer rails on in the middle and a solid front over the whole thing. Pretty well made actually, as long as you didn’t want to change anything.
    And there was scope creep, because I accurately measured the replacement sink side to side, but not front to back, so now I’m also replacing the counter. Which is fine, I didn’t realize how much nicer and cheaper laminate has gotten. Now just waiting for the guy I hired to be able to come back to finish.

  17. 17.

    David ?Canadian Anchor Baby? Koch

    @Baud: in that case, I’d wonder who Trump would fire.

    He loves his daughter-wife’s body, but Jared is the son he never had.

  18. 18.

    satby

    @satby: That is an accurate representation of the number of cups of coffee I have before I do anything in the morning. Except take the dogs out, we do that while my coffee is brewing.

  22. 22.

    NotMax

    “Hey, you two! Don’t make me pull this government over to the side of the road!”

  23. 23.

    MattF

    Well, I’m rooting for injuries. Keep Bannon and Kushner focussed on hating each other. One might wonder how two people who are obviously going to despise each other ended up at the high end of the same organization, but a basic element of Trump’s managerial strategy is to keep his staff at each other’s throats.

  25. 25.

    p.a.

    Actually, before I clicked on this post, I was hopeful it was something about Rosie and Thurston. Y’know, a post about dogs. Turns out it is about pigs.

  28. 28.

    satby

    @OzarkHillbilly: I found three pretty nice wall cabinets at Habitat’s ReStore, but I have to paint or stain them to match. Probably going to just paint them, and now confirming the bottom isn’t original woodwork (sort of knew it) I can paint the entire wall the same.

  30. 30.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @p.a.:

    Lox benny sounds wonderful. The other day I had scrambled with bits of lox throughout, and it was delicious. Enjoy!

  32. 32.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    Where should I look for an “odd lot” piece of Formica or other laminate?

    I have a little “laptop stand” from IKEA that I use by my TV chair. I really like it, but the paint or whatever coating on the fiberboard top is not very good. It bubbled up a little where I put a not super hot cup of coffee on it. I’d like to throw a piece of laminate on it and make it perfect, but I obviously don’t need a whole sheet.

    Is this something Home Depot would have? Or where else should I look?

  33. 33.

    p.a.

    @NotMax:

    Lox Benny

    Jack’s lesser known brother.

    Became rabbi. Throughout his life, Jack’s parents asked him, “Why can’t you be more like your bruder?”

  34. 34.

    efgoldman

    @Betty Cracker:

    Since there will be no real consequences

    I dunno’. He knows where all the real and metaphorical bodies are buried – because he held the lantern while the graves were being dug. I’m sure several investigators would like him to testfify under oath.
    It would hasten the Fall of the Golf Course if Tasteless Orange.

  35. 35.

    randy khan

    I’m with the folks rooting for injuries.

    If I had to choose between the two, hmm, Bannon is pure evil but kinda sort of competent, while Kushner is way out of his depth, overburdened already, but maybe only 75% evil. Tough call.

  37. 37.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Betty Cracker: My nym is more relevant than it’s ever been before, and that includes the Whitewater years, the sucking up to the deserting coward (and the shitty grade Z movie star before him), the constant bitching about Obama’s failure to reach across the aisle.

    “But her emails!” should be the epitaph on the tombstone of every Villager.

  38. 38.

    Zinsky

    This is really amateur hour, as it relates to governing. Trump and his stooges behave like junior high kids who have been asked to behave decently. Sniggering, snarky little twerps who you just want to bust their noses and get their own blood on their spiffy Lacoste polo shirts. I’m sure they would cry like babies, if you did…

  39. 39.

    Shalimar

    @Betty Cracker: The neo-nazis and conspiracy theorists are already up in arms over all of the slights to Bannon. Sure, the articles about Kushner’s moderating influence will be annoying to us, especially if they have any effect on his polling, but the upside is they will also drive Trump’s hardcore supporters crazy. Maybe enough to really turn on Trimp, which might keep them from terrifying their more normal victims.

  40. 40.

    Shalimar

    @randy khan: I don’t see any evidence that either Bannon or Kushner is competent at governing, but Bannon does have lots of evil pre-existing followers so he gets my choice for worst of the two. Rooting for self-inflicted injuries will be the best strategy for all that remains of Trump rule.

  41. 41.

    West of the Rockies (been a while)

    J-red has a punchable face, even to Bannon. Bannon is a toad who commands disrespect. Nothing is going to change.

  43. 43.

    m.j.

    Jumpin’ Jesus on a mother fucking pogo-stick! Fuck. fucketee, fuck. Why does this seem like one of those goddamned reality shows?

  44. 44.

    Tehanu

    @chopper:

    I guess the headline should be “frog and toad are friends”.

    Nah. Frog and Toad were both nice people. This is more like “Ebola and Zika are friends.”

    Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner, who along with Cohn are the “Democrats” in the administration,

    That’s from LGM, quoting somebody, I forget who. Of course “Democrats” is dogwhistle for “Jews.”

  45. 45.

    J R in WV

    @Steeplejack (phone):

    This is way, late, but Habitat for Humanity has stores that resell left over construction material, remodeling removed pieces, some old, some new, etc. There’s one everywhere Habitat is active, I believe. Their left overs go there too, all to raise money for the next new house building project.

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